Today's Heartlift with Janell
Sometimes the story we tell ourselves is not really true. Sometimes the story others tell about us is not really true. On "Today's Heartlift with Janell," Author, Trauma-informed, board-certified marriage and family specialist, and Professional Heartlifter, Janell Rardon, opens conversations about how emotional health and mental fitness effects absolutely every area of our lives. When we possess and practice healthy, strong, resilient emotional health practices, life is so much better. Read Janell's newest book, "Stronger Every Day: 9 Tools for an Emotionally Healthy You."
Today's Heartlift with Janell
330. Is it Time for a Social Media Reset?
What if the moments spent endlessly scrolling are robbing you of the life you were meant to live? In this eye-opening conversation, Janell welcomes Allie Marie Smith, founder of Wonderfully Made and author of "Social Media Reset: A 30-Day Guided Journey to Unplug, Reconnect with God and Reclaim Your Joy."
Allie shares her profound personal story of battling severe depression as a teenager that led to hospitalization and a suicide attempt at the Golden Gate Bridge. Through a miraculous encounter with God's love, she found purpose in founding a ministry dedicated to helping women know their God-given value. Now, she's tackling one of the biggest threats to women's mental health today: our relationship with social media.
The numbers are sobering. Spending just two to three hours daily on social media equates to losing six to eight years of your precious life to scrolling. "We can now die with more memories of other people's lives than of our own," Allie cautions. She challenges us to consider what we're seeking inside our digital worlds and offers practical boundaries that have helped her overcome addiction while still using social media positively.
Most exciting is Allie's invitation to join the "Unplugged and Flourishing Movement" this August - a simultaneous 30-day reset for women of all ages to unplug, reconnect with God, and pray for the young girls whose mental health is being devastated by social media.
Join us for this transformative conversation, and discover how unplugging might be your path to rediscovering joy. Learn more and join the movement at alliemariesmith.com.
Order Allie's new book: Social Media Reset
Take Allie's Quiz: Social Media + Your Wellbeing
Begin Your Heartlifter's Journey:
- Visit and subscribe to Heartlift Central on Substack. This is our new online coaching center and meeting place for Heartlifters worldwide.
- Download the "Overcoming Hurtful Words" Study Guide PDF: BECOMING EMOTIONALLY HEALTHY
- Meet me on Instagram: @janellrardon
- Leave a review and rate the podcast: WRITE A REVIEW
- Learn more about my books and work: Janell Rardon
- Make a tax-deductible donation through Heartlift International
As I've listened to the stories of thousands of women of all ages in all kinds of stages through the years, I've kept their stories locked in the vault of my heart. I feel as if they've been walking around with me all through these years. They've bothered me, they've prodded me and sometimes kept me up at night. Ultimately, they've increased my passion to reframe and reimagine the powerful positions of mother and matriarch within the family system. Mother and matriarch within the family system. I'm a problem solver, so I set out to find a way to perhaps change the trajectory of this silent and sad scenario about a dynamic yet untapped source of potential and purpose sitting in our homes and churches. It is time to come to the table, heartlifters, and unleash the power of maternal presence into the world. Welcome to Mothering for the Ages, our 2025 theme here on Today's Heart Lift. I'm Janelle. I am your guide here on this heartlifting journey. I invite you to grab a pen, a journal and a cup of something really delicious. May today's conversation give you clarity, courage and a revived sense of camaraderie. You see, you're not on this journey alone. We are unified as heartlifters and committed to bringing change into the world, one heart at a time. Heartlifters, welcome to the show, allie Marie Smith. Allie is an award-winning author, speaker, podcast host and life coach. She's also the founder and CEO of Wonderfully Made, a national nonprofit organization dedicated to helping girls and women like you and me know their God-given value and identity, experience vibrant mental health and lead flourishing lives. Allie lives in Santa Barbara County, california, where she loves riding, playing with horses, surfing and adventuring up and down the California coast. Oh, allie, you can visit Allie at Allie A-L-L-I-E Marie, m-a-r-i-e smithcom R-I-E smithcom.
Speaker 1:Today, allie comes to us to talk about her new book Social Media Reset Mm-hmm A 30-day guided journey to unplug, reconnect with God and reclaim your joy. We know here in this community that the mental health crisis is undeniable. One in three teen girls today are contemplating suicide and over one-third one-third of women report having been diagnosed with depression. Allie is going to help us ask ourselves where's the path forward, right? How do we move forward? Because we all long for lives full of deep connection with God, ourselves and others, and yet we are now programmed to seek peace, contentment and happiness in our phones Deep down. We know this isn't how we were created to live, as endless scrolling leaves us feeling anxious, depressed, distracted and alone. We realize our deepest needs cannot be met by turning to social media.
Speaker 1:One of the beautiful questions that Allie asked right in the beginning is what are you seeking inside of social media? I think that's a really good question before we begin. So give that a few moments of thought and then help me welcome Allie to the show. Oh, heartlifters, are you ready? Are you ready to hear from this vivacious young woman that I have just told you all about, allie? Allie Marie Smith. Welcome, allie. We're all welcoming you here today.
Speaker 2:Oh, thank you, Janelle. I'm so excited to be here and I just appreciate what you do so much and I love that you are the heart whisperer. I just have such a passion for women, so thank you for having me.
Speaker 1:Well, you are doing great work and an admirable work, meaningful work, and I am so grateful for that. I have a million questions, as usual for me. As my heart lifters know, I want to learn everything, but we only have this small amount of time in this format, which is good and bad because you can get saturated. But I want to introduce my community to your nonprofit. Wonderfully Made. I see the book back there. We've already chit-chatted about the Kintsugi on the front.
Speaker 2:What year did that come out 2021.
Speaker 1:Oh, okay, all righty, my COVID project. Yes, I had one, I had two, actually. Ooh Okay, alrighty. Well, my COVID project. Yes, I had one, I had two, actually, yes. So, uh, I will put all the links to that first book, cause it's probably a good primer, it probably gives us a lot of information and, uh, because we do want to focus on your new book coming out this summer social media reset a 30 day guide. Mm-hmm, social media reset a 30 day guide. So I was already swallowing the challenge Difficult, very difficult.
Speaker 2:So before we get into that, tell us about Wonderfully Made this national nonprofit organization that you started when you were how old 20.
Speaker 1:What 20. So now you know how old I am 21 years ago. Okay, who starts a nonprofit at 20? Allie Marie.
Speaker 2:Smith did, and what called you to do that? What was that? Yeah, well, first I'll say that a little bit more about who we are. We are a 501c3 ministry and our mission is to help girls and women know their God-given value, identity and purpose, experience vibrant mental health and lead flourishing lives. And so we have a podcast, we do young women's events for young women and the women who love them. I have a course for teen girls and young women and all the hot button issues. We have mental health workshops and we do coaching. So that's a little bit who we are.
Speaker 2:To answer your question, it was birthed out of my own very difficult story. I won't dive into it too much. I share more about it in my first big girl book, wonderfully made. Okay, good home, bright future.
Speaker 2:Around the age of 12 started to experience a lot of unworthiness, sadness, depression. Didn't really make sense. That just made it worse. Uh, escalated throughout high school on outside and looked like I was a girl who had things together. You know straight A student, captain of the soccer team, scholar, athlete, and I was fighting a battle every single day. It was so hard. Junior year, something traumatic happened to me when I was 17. Never told anyone for over 10 years. Starting my junior year, I remember driving off the off ramp and just thinking what if I just crashed my car? And two weeks after I graduated I was in the deepest, darkest depression. I couldn't eat, I couldn't sleep, I couldn't talk. I was hospitalized, put on antidepressants, sent home three days later. You tell how broken our mental health system is. It continued to get bad that summer of my after graduation, 18, to the point that one day I drove to the golden gate bridge to with intention to end my life by jumping off. Um. I tell the miraculous rescue story in wonderfully made okay, okay, let's get that.
Speaker 1:Everybody, I've stood. It's interesting, I I've stood on that bridge. I took our children. I was 40. So that was 25 years ago. But at the very top of that bridge is a phone, an emergency phone, and I just remember all of us like just standing there going, oh okay, so now you're making it real, you drove there, okay.
Speaker 2:And I actually remember seeing that sign when I was maybe 11 and being like what, I don't understand it, who would do that? And so later that fall, I tried to start college On the East Coast we were about 3,000 miles away came undone rehospitalized for three weeks, about 3,000 miles away, came undone, rehospitalized for three weeks.
Speaker 2:But the most beautiful thing is is that where I encountered the radical love of Jesus in a supernatural way, I asked for a Bible pouring over the gospels. I discovered that Jesus loved the broken and I was as broken as a girl could be One day in the hospital chapel the help.
Speaker 2:I was starting to receive help and I've been very responsive to medication. It's very much a physiological experience, but many complex factors as well, and the desire to no longer live was beginning to fade. And a woman sang Amazing Grace in that hospital chapel. Oh, I've got chills and through a whispered prayer, janelle, I gave my life to Jesus and I've never been the same. He has radically changed my life. I've had mental health struggles after that, even in my thirties, but that changed everything and I just became so passionate about helping every girl and woman know how deeply loved she is, to know the radical love of Jesus that can transform us. So that birth, wonderfully made.
Speaker 2:A year later I started reading the Bible, came across Psalm 139, that verse praise you, because I am fearfully meaning lovingly and wonderfully made. So that led me to start it on a college campus. We've evolved. Where were you? Can I ask where you were? I started school at Pepperdine. I experienced depression again, um had to withdraw, transfer home and after another, actual suicide attempt in college, and so I actually started it before my second depressive episode and um, yeah, so starting college, we started doing events. Really, it was mostly me leading it and um, we've really been able to grow and led you know, conferences for 10,000 girls and women. We're really the only as far as we found ministry of our kind. We especially have a heart for teen girls and young women at the topics of mental health. So it's been such a journey. Honestly, it feels right now that God is really sending us out.
Speaker 1:I have a team.
Speaker 2:I've never had a team before. We have so much momentum, we are on a mission, it is so exciting, so how did you gather your team?
Speaker 1:I mean, obviously we know God brought them, but you know to not have to, not have had a team. And now, all of a sudden, because we talk so much here in this community about Kronos time and Kairos time and how God works through both, but you know all of a sudden it's Kairos time, it's go time. You know it's that opportune time when God has placed all the pieces in the right place. So all of a sudden, did you just start meeting women, or women and men?
Speaker 2:Yeah, well, I would say for about 18 years I felt like I had to carry it alone and I never asked for financial support or help from anyone, so I did everything pretty much single-handedly, did have a few board members and then God just provided we have a few donors who support us, able to hire assistance.
Speaker 1:I mean no one's on full salary or anything.
Speaker 2:And God just put people in my heart and they're the right people. And it's amazing. So it's just like it's really like we're just getting started.
Speaker 1:Yes, okay. So you start your book with a very powerful story that I know that I immediately related to, not the surfing part, but to what started going on in your head. Can you just share with us? You're on this surfboard in Santa Barbara. It's so beautiful there.
Speaker 2:I know it's such a hard life. We pay taxes, though we pay for it to live here. You know what I mean I do. Yes, surfing is my joy. My husband and I are avid surfers. I was at my favorite point break, near our home, and it was a beautiful day. There were dolphins, there were pelicans, and it was just a gorgeous day, and my mind was wrapped up in a virtual, pixelated world that I wasn't even in.
Speaker 2:And that was the world of social media and it was really taking up a lot of headspace. And I remember thinking, oh, I should just stop social media altogether. But I want it. I want to keep in touch with friends. I really need to grow my following and become a lot more popular if I ever want to write a book. And you know why didn't they invite me to the rodeo? I really want to buy that pair of boots. Why doesn't she follow me back? And here I am in this perfect moment, right, Like, oh, you know, you just flash that over Instagram, right, but I was obsessing about Instagram.
Speaker 1:And you make it very. It comes through the book Like it's so palatable. We've all been, I think we are. If we're all very, very honest, we are all there, okay. So what did you do with that whirlwind? Tell us where, where, that took.
Speaker 2:Yeah. So you know I got Facebook when it came out in college. I got Instagram the same year it came out. I really enjoyed it at first. My how I use that first is I just posted really cool pictures of like flowers, the beach, oceans, um. Most of them got zero likes and I loved it for myself. And then it changed. You know, they introduced the like button, the comments, and that changed everything.
Speaker 2:You know, like most people, I fell into. You know they prey upon human psychology, the way they created it. It's designed to be addictive and I fell into full on addiction with it. I would wake up first thing, look at it, check it constantly. If I had posts, if I posted something, I would obsessively go back, refresh how many likes, how many likes, how many comments. You know, looking for validation, human approval. I would never find it. It was never satisfied. I wasn't present. I was always on my phone. You know, spending more time with my phone than maybe my husband, my friends, was distracted. I couldn't focus. I was increasingly like, more depressed, anxious, struggled more with body image issues, more disordered eating, and you know, I realized, god, you've saved my life. I almost lost my life to depression and so I think I can get emotional Like you. It's okay, I don't know how you rescued me, you saved my life.
Speaker 2:You know I say it is an honor to have a heartbeat and to have breath in our lungs and I decided God, you saved me, I'm going to live my life for you and I'm going to do everything I can to protect my mental health. So I took, I put in serious boundaries that I still use today, which maybe we can dive in.
Speaker 1:I want to know, because I've definitely done many, many shows and listened to a million interviews myself, and there's books out there on social media is bad. We know that right, got that covered. But what you're bringing to the conversation is critical because not only with teen girls but with all of us, is the matter of the soul Right. And the soul would be our intellect, our emotions, it's our mental and our emotional health. You and I are right in sync with that passion.
Speaker 1:So that is what you're doing. That is different to me and why I jumped right on like I have to have Allie here, because it is about soul sucking to me and it is deeply affecting our mental and emotional health and we don't really know it Right, and we don't really know it.
Speaker 1:Right. For the most part, we might know it in our head, but it has not made it down to our heart and most certainly is not sinking into our spirit and our soul. So that's what I really love about the work that you're doing, you know, because you encourage us. I have on my paper here I wanted you to define soul just for our listeners here, because we know that it's damaging us. But why is it so damaging to our soul? Why was it so damaging to your soul?
Speaker 2:Oh, I can go on. Go on so many reasons. Before we really address the issue of social media, we really need to look at the spiritual ramification and what is really at stake, especially in light of eternal things.
Speaker 2:Yes so you know, we have to ask ourselves how do we want to spend our lives? What do we want our legacy to be? And social media is not bad, it's not evil. It has no morality. It can be used for a tremendous amount of good. It's about how much time you spend on it, what you look at and your motivations behind using it. I do have social media. I've wrestled with it. I try to use it in a good way, but I can still wrestle with it, and so we have to put this into perspective. Our lives are so precious. God did not have to create us. He did not have to create us. He loved us into existence. He chose us before the foundations of the world. Our lives are precious, irreplaceable.
Speaker 1:Irreplaceable.
Speaker 2:And we need to know our value, and so it is a serious issue and, like you're right, we all know. You know it's probably bad, it's probably affecting us mentally, but I've seen there's a lot of talk about it but no one's really doing anything.
Speaker 1:Oh, that's why you're here, allie. That's why I love this book. I love everything about it. Yes, that's why you're here, because we need to do something different.
Speaker 2:Absolutely, and it is time to act. Okay, so let's put this into perspective. You know every second you spend on social media matters because it impacts you on the mind, body, soul, spirit level. It it affects you holistically, every part of you God created. It affects you profoundly. If we spend one hour a day on social media or our phones, that comes out to three years three years that, that is.
Speaker 1:the average is five hours right.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it gets worse. Uh, two to three hours comes out to six to eight years of your life on social media or your phone. Four plus hours comes out to 11 or more years of your life, your precious, one and only irreplaceable life on social media, in a digital abyss. Seconds, moments, precious moments of your life, so you're never going to get back. And so we have to look at this and say are we okay with this? How is it affecting me? Is it making my life better? Is it making my life worse? Am I better with it? Am I better without it? And get this Okay. We can now die with more memories of other people's lives than of our own.
Speaker 1:You need to say that again with more memories of other people's lives than of our own.
Speaker 2:You need to say that, again, we can now die with more memories of other people's lives than of our own.
Speaker 1:Wow, and I decided in addition, to letting it affect my mental health and my life. I decided being envious and engrossed with other people's lives was an insult to the God who gave me mine. That's sobering and that's absolutely right, yeah.
Speaker 2:What is that saying to him? And you know we're going to have to give an account to God. How do we spend our lives? You know we are given 672 billion breaths if we live to the ripe old age of 80. And every single breath is sacred. It is a gift, it is borrowed and a new one is never promised.
Speaker 1:Never no no that new breath is, is, it's in his hands and he knows. But, like you're saying, we have a tremendous accountability of what we're going to do with that life. I have the privilege of having lived a very long time in my life without it, and so I know even my children. You know I didn't raise children with this digital world, although my grandchildren are going to be raised in it, but I think I know the amount of time I spent with God and I spent studying and writing Bible studies after Bible studies, essays after essays. You know I don't have that anymore and I know that. I know it's not my age. I know that. I know my incapacity to focus is due to my phone in my hand and all the gadgets. So, as much as I know that in my head, allie, which is why I wanted you to challenge us, don't pull any, you know. Pull the go ahead, because I have felt the spirit saying put it down, burn the ships, or that saying burn the ships, burn the ships and I'll just burn them. You know, give me your full attention. You're not of this kingdom, you're of my kingdom.
Speaker 1:For the last, um, let's say a year to two years, primarily. Well, lord, if I do that? I mean, you know I already don't have big numbers, I'm not going to get a book published. Well, oh well, you know. Why don't you try me? So is that what you're speaking to? You're speaking to us to take well, as you say it, an audit of our life. I really love the way you posture that in the very beginning. It's very clear, it's very simple. But take an audit of my life. What do you mean by that?
Speaker 2:Yeah, we have to be aware what is working in my life, what is not working. You know, I always talk about our life as a garden. What are the weeds that are sucking the life out of you? What's blooming? And today, I think, for a lot of people, social media is a serious weed that is sucking the joy, the potential, the life, the beauty out of their lives.
Speaker 2:And we have agency, we have personal agency, and I always say we don't have to conform to the social media circus. We can choose not to have it in our lives, we can choose to have serious boundaries with it. Only we can decide how we are going to let it affect us. An extended social media break, whether it's just for 30 days, which my book guides girls and women through a 30 day experience and it's actually more of a life coaching experience. It's not even just like. It's like get your life back and build a life you love. And here are 30 principles for flourishing, amazing life that God offers you. It's so clear. It's so clear, yes, so minimum. I think every single girl and woman should have at least a month off a year, if not more, to fast from it. That's absolutely important. And so we have agency right. We don't have to spend our lives the majority of our lives affected by anxiety, depression, poor body image that is induced by social media.
Speaker 2:We get to decide how it's going to affect us. No one else can decide that for us Right.
Speaker 1:And.
Speaker 2:I know I'm like, I feel like I'm kind of like a preacher and like I hope we need we need the, we need your words, though.
Speaker 1:That's the thing. It's a wake up call. It is. It's a wake up call. It's an unction, as Paul would say. I urge you. You know, right in the very beginning of the book is a time for a reset. I mean, I was like I just want to. As I would say, in my own work as a coach and a counselor, the counterintuitive movement is typically the work that you need to do, like if it feels so counterintuitive and feels so out of the comfort zone and you feel anxiety because God's invitation is not something that seems nice. You know, like I want you to fast for 30 days from social media, janelle. It's probably the exact work I need to do. Can I be that obedient, can I?
Speaker 1:Maybe, I'm asking myself yeah, and I think that's what you're asking us. So I want you to preach to me, I want you to hold me accountable. Your voice is necessary, allie. You've lived through hell and have come back. You have lived through the darkest night of the soul that anyone can live through, lived through the darkest night of the soul that anyone can live through, and you're back. You're here. So thank you. Thank you for persevering for God's mercy on your life. So use it. You know you give us. You say it's so dang easy here. Grab your phone, go to its settings, locate where you can check your screen time and app usage. Write down your average daily phone usage, oh God. Write down the highest number of phone pickups or unlocks you have had. Then you say look at your app usage and website activity. Left side of the chart social media. Right side of the chart time spent.
Speaker 2:Multiply it by 30 days.
Speaker 1:That's how much of your life you'll get back for 30 days as you go through the book, so okay, so you're telling me I can do it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, my challenge to every girl woman who goes through it is you think of all the girls and women in your life, every single one who you are connected to, who you have personal relationships with you. Invite them and say, hey, let's disconnect together, let's connect with God. Let's go have a meal together every single week and not even bring our phones. Let's get together for coffee dates. Let's go on hikes. Let's cultivate true community and do this experiment to see how amazing life could be, because social media is a world we weren't designed to live in, right? We were not designed to swipe a pixelated screen on holding our hands looking at strangers, friends, influencers, celebrities. Lives unfold as our own lives go neglected. We think about our fingers. We think about our hands. You know we have a fingerprint. I'm like no one in the world. What did God create our fingers in our hands to do they?
Speaker 2:he created them to bake break bread, to create meals for people around the table, to plant flowers in the dirt to comb your fingers through a child's hair, to collect seashells, right To hold the hands of the people you love, to actually thumb through the pages of an actual book. This is the life we were created for. We are so far removed from the life God created for. It is making us sad, sick and self-absorbed. I'm not. I'm sorry, I said it, you did say it out loud, so self-absorbed.
Speaker 1:That's what I. That's the biggest difference that I feel. Even my daughters were like and I have a son, but my daughters, I mean, I was so vehement when I raised them to not have 17 magazine or any of those things. It had to be a magazine, right, bring them into the house. And they have both said to me this last year I've never seen you more consumed with your weight in our entire life. What the heck is going on, mama?
Speaker 2:What the heck's going on. Thank you for being vulnerable, that's well, I have to be.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I mean, they're like. We've never like. You know. Stop talking about, you know, your neck and how aging it you know, because it is jarring to age number one. But then, when you go, every 10 Instagram posts are now ways for me to lose weight over 60, do this to my face. This makeup for women my age, because they've listened to us. Okay, I am so glad you said it out loud. It needs to be said out loud, and all that does is continue to devalue my life and the quality of my life. You say right here, the quality of my life. You say right here after you, encourage us to audit our life, audit our usage.
Speaker 2:and then, what restorative activities can you do offline, right? I mean again, think about our hands, right? There is a verse in Thessalonians that says make it your ambition to live a quiet life, work with your hands and mind your own business.
Speaker 1:Mind your. I have taught that at so many moms meetings so many years ago and we didn't have social media and I was teaching it. So it's like make it your ambition To work with your hands.
Speaker 2:Let's say it again Work with your hands, live a quiet life and mind your own business. Okay, that's a recipe for really good mental health. And you know, let me say I I still wrestle with this. Honestly, I'm getting ready to promote this book and I'm going to be on social media telling people about it. Like I'm really struggling with it. I'm like do I make my account public, private, like it is? So it is such a real temptation and everyone it's. It's so if you're experiencing that, friend, as you're listening, like don't feel shame, like it's a common experience really, almost in a way, you're almost like a victim really well, you know, on purpose.
Speaker 1:I mean, we are being targeted, you know it is. It is all what marketing is designed and advertising is designed to do to us. But I think that you're that this Psalm 119, 37 is at the beginning of day six, and this chapter, chapter, it might be my favorite Be the decorator of your life, and the ESV says this turn my eyes from looking at worthless things and give me life in your ways.
Speaker 2:Before I forget. I do want to tap into this because I do want to say okay, not only I already said this earlier not only is the book a break from social media, it is a guidebook for living a thriving, flourishing life for the glory of God. It is filled with scripture, it has principles for know, principles for an amazing life and it doesn't mean it's going to be an easy life for you to suffering is my attempt for girls and women to wake up to the miracle of their lives, draw close to God and create a beautiful life, co-create a beautiful life with God that they love. I mean by God's grace. He has taken me from being a girl who didn't want to live anymore to being a woman who cannot wait to get out of bed Like that is what he can do in our lives.
Speaker 1:So, day eight, I have to ask you and talk to you about the beauty of an unseen life, ali. We once again are being fed the message that everybody, everybody wants their 15 minutes of fame. Everybody thinks, well, if I just got on that show or that show, man, I'd increase my thing and then I'd be an influencer. And I mean, you know the language.
Speaker 2:Oh, janelle, I am so guilty of that, like completely. I'm like, oh, look at my ego, look at my pride. It's like disgusting. I am so guilty of that, janelle, like I'm not better, like I don't want people to think, like you know, listening but you don't struggle, yeah, that I'm like better than them, or that I fully arrived. I'm I'm experiencing this myself. But back to the beauty of an unseen life.
Speaker 2:You know, in social media I always say like there's no secrets, and you know one of my boundaries on Instagram I try not to look at the search and explore section, which is really, really hard, so that's actually one of my boundaries. I slip all the time or not all the time, but often and I remember one day I saw a woman taking a pregnancy test, live screaming for joy when it tested positive. I remember seeing pictures stage professional pictures of couples holding each other in their own bed in their own kitchen, like embracing. You know a sweet young girl filming herself reading her Bible in the morning while it was still dark. You know a woman like doing her workout routine and her matching buttery leggings and sports bras as I ate leftover pizza. Like there's no secrets. There's no secrets on social media and we are fooled to think that if we're not living a life that is loud and generating a lot of attention, then our lives aren't good enough.
Speaker 2:And that is. You know, we can be fooled to think our lives are ordinary. No, our lives are extraordinary. They are a miracle.
Speaker 1:You know you think.
Speaker 2:You think our body has, you know, 30 trillion cells, each with a specific task. You know our brain has. They form over a hundred trillion. Synapses, Like our lives, are not ordinary. They are so precious, they are such a miracle. And so this idea of what did Jesus model for us, the more that we can walk in his ways. And yes, it's one thing to believe in him, but to actually practice his ways and to follow his ways that lead to life and fullness of joy.
Speaker 2:What did Jesus do? He withdrew, he went to quiet places, he went to the desert. He had so much solitude with God, the Father. He prayed incessantly. He experienced stillness. He was so present with people. He was never in a hurry. The pace of life was three miles an hour. Today it's about a four second scroll. Like the pace of life is like you know like four seconds like that's the pace of life today, or our attention span is like three seconds.
Speaker 1:Oh, it's, it's, and I, I just confessed to you I have lived long enough to see the visceral lack of focus. I have 10 books deep focus how to do focus, how to do focus, and simply the focus is return to that beautiful scripture that I have been talking about forever and decades to women is to you know, live a quiet life. Women is to you know, live a quiet life, live a quiet life.
Speaker 1:Everybody's business is not my business. Well, it sure as heck is now, and we've not even added in the news and the political, we haven't even talked about that. So I tell you what. Just for me, no-transcript, mm, hmm.
Speaker 2:Right.
Speaker 1:Because it's not. It's not binary and in this community we hold everything in two hands. So it's like we got to live with joy. We have to have sorrow so we can live a life with this teaching that you're giving us. It's like I need to hold the truth of God's word, and there's so many more scriptures about living a quiet life than that one. One handful is better than two. One handful of solitude and silence is better than two handfuls of strife and toil. But it's like I remember saying to Laura but I can handle two handles. I can handle two Like why do I have to put one behind my back? Definitely I desire to be an influencer in the most profound sense of the word, an influencer in the most profound sense of the word.
Speaker 2:Absolutely, we all do.
Speaker 1:We all do so. There's no shame on the fact that I hope that your book sells a million copies. I hope it would be so awesome because that would mean a million young girls all over the world it's in different languages now are hearing this message, because it's a worldwide message, it's not just here in the domestic United States, and so, being able, what you're really giving me a guide to do is to perhaps audit my own life. Heartlifters audit your life because really women my age spend way more than six hours on Facebook. That's proven. So you know, it's just scary, sobering, and, as women who have a heart to seek God and be influencers in our spheres of influence for him, we better heed.
Speaker 1:I have felt it to the point of feeling like if I don't obey. I know we don't like to throw that word around anymore. There's going to be a consequence. There's already been a consequence in my physical body.
Speaker 2:Yeah, thank you for sharing. And again I just want to reiterate I'm there with you and I'm there with every woman listening.
Speaker 2:I have been able to overcome my social media addiction. I am able to use it mostly in a way that adds value to my life. But I am not immune to the temptation, to the desires to want to have like a blue verified check and thousands of followers. And you know, in one of the chapters I say there is a difference between being a social media influencer and being a woman of influence. Beautiful God calls us to be women of influence. That is our calling. Know what to buy, but to take the hope and the love and the joy and the light of Christ to the dark corners of the world and to share our testimonies, our wisdom. So our heart, our ministry, really is have a heart for the girls and for the young woman.
Speaker 2:And I just really want to encourage your amazing community of women who love God. They have such pure hearts, they want to live for the glory of God, to think of the girls and the women who are, who are, you know, behind you, who are younger than you. They need you. Don't think that you're disqualified because you're older or you. You know you don't dress as cute, like no, these girls need you, they need your wisdom. So I just want to encourage your community listening like who can you mentor? Can you open your home to a group like teen girls, college girls and, like you know, maybe invite them to, to take the reset with you and encourage them to build real life friendships and so?
Speaker 1:community. The real thing, the real deal.
Speaker 2:Right, Right. I mean again, it goes back to the rhythms. God.
Speaker 1:Yeah, for sure I would love to know. Just before we go, you were going to tell us a few more of your boundaries. Yes, some beautiful things. You just gave us that beautiful one to not hit the search button, which I do so much on Instagram. So any other little tidbits that can just get us started before we get your book?
Speaker 2:In the back of the book is a list of 15. There are many more and I encourage you know I'm going to share my top four boundaries. No, not everyone is going to want them, use them, love them. These are just ideas. I'll add five.
Speaker 2:The ideal thing is you, you know, delete all the apps you don't access them for a minimum of 30 days, if not longer, and then, if you are ready to explore having a healthier relationship with social media. The next step, which, okay, this is my number one trick, and you know I feel like I can kind of make a lot of money off this. I hope you do, but not not as far as I know. I haven't met many people that do it, right, and so my strategy is to and I do this I have not is I don't have any social media apps on my phone, so I don't have any. I don't have Facebook, I don't have Instagram, I don't have Twitter. I don't have any of those apps on my phone because I know I was addicted.
Speaker 2:It's designed to be addictive, right, and so it's like our. It's like a handheld slot machine. We get a high hit of dopamine every single time we get a like notification. So I for your community to consider if you want to have it. It can be used for so much good. It can make your life better. Maybe try, once you take your detox or reset, try taking all the apps off but putting them on a tablet, like so you know, if you have an iPad, you know you can download the app, you can access all your entire account, you can share photos, you know syncs to the cloud, you can share updates. But that way you're not, you're not going to be like carrying your iPad all day.
Speaker 1:You don't carry that around, but you do carry your phone around all day.
Speaker 2:Right, so that's my number one boundary. So that's how I overcame my addiction. Is I just deleted the apps? And what does that take?
Speaker 1:Like half a second and then like then you like, you overcame your addiction right, did you experience some detox symptoms Like okay, okay, yeah.
Speaker 2:And I talk about that withdrawal. Yeah, just like you know, uncomfortable, irritable ability, it's a drug, really. So then, after that is, of course, you can set time limits. Mine, even if I use mine on my iPad, my time limit is 20 minutes a day, and then, in addition, you can buffer your mornings. I mean, this is self-discipline. God has given us a spirit of discipline.
Speaker 1:Okay, yes, and that results with that sound mind which you talked about.
Speaker 2:Yes, he has. He has made us to be disciplined, right. So not touching it, maybe for like an hour until after your quiet time in the morning, and you know, at least an hour before bed, and even that comes into the blue light and what it does to your brain. So, yeah, taking a reset, healing your brain, detoxing, breaking the addiction, putting the apps like on an iPad or just accessing it from your computer and not your phone.
Speaker 1:Like that, like the timer.
Speaker 2:Daily time limits. And then what I do is I never go on it unless I'm posting something inspiring. That's like you know I enjoy. That's like a quote or something's going to share, something I never post on the weekend, so I never go on it on the weekends.
Speaker 1:And that's good.
Speaker 2:Those are my main boundaries, that's what I do and that helps me, but everyone you know you can pick your own boundaries and what works for you. And those are just. There's 15 ideas, but that's my recommended four to five there's 15 ideas, but that's my recommended four to five.
Speaker 1:Okay, that's good, it's very helpful and it gives a very good platform to begin with, you know, easing into it. Sometimes you need to cold turkey. It's like you said, addiction is addiction. So we can apply addictive principles to this.
Speaker 1:And definitely, I always like to say I don't take something away. I have a Lenten study. It's about more or less. You know, it's not taking something away without replacing it with a virtue, you know. So whatever I just sat the other day I literally bought two and a half years ago to do a dream board, a vision board, a heart board, with one of my online college classes I teach. Never have I done it, ever. It has been sitting in that little corner.
Speaker 1:And the other day, after the spout with the flu, when I still wasn't completely well, I thought I'm doing it. I'm doing it. I'm putting everything away on my phone, everything, and I just take a posh, like in the old days, cut out of magazines and created this beautiful. So I feel like I'm on my way and that can encourage someone. You know, just do the dang thing, you know, do it get started, make a make, a movement towards it. But thank you so much, allie, for being such a willing vessel. I'm so grateful for your life and for all that God has done in your life to bring you to us today.
Speaker 2:Thank you and I just want to encourage your listeners. You are a living, breathing miracle. Like you are, love beyond measure. You are fearfully, lovingly, wonderfully made. God chose you before the foundations of the world. He didn't have to create you. Your life is so precious. No one can live your life for you, but you. You can leave such a beautiful legacy and you can do hard things and we don't have to conform. You know, we I always say like we don't have to conform to this social media circus and you know God invites us into a more like unpopular way, you know, but a better way of life. And then it's okay if I like. Close, I just share one, the invitation, the formal invitation again. Okay, so if you go to my website again, I don't write books to make money, well, but let's, let's, I mean it would be nice.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you do write books because you have a nonprofit and we do want to fund that nonprofit so that you can build a team and pay people what they're worth, and I just love that. I love that you know we do write to affect people's lives, and would I love to see your book in India and Thailand. I've been to Thailand on the front lines. I know that there are so many young women that need this work. So, okay, sorry, just a little course correction.
Speaker 2:No, thank you. So this is a beautiful invitation. I know we referenced it earlier. I just really want to invite you and your amazing community, women of all ages who listen. You can go to my website. Just my name alimariesmithcom.
Speaker 2:Under the book page there's a whole book page about the book, and I'm calling it the Unplugged and Flourishing Movement. So it is a 30-day experience. So the book comes out July 15th and then for the month of August, my hope is to join hundreds, if not thousands, of women together at a simultaneous reset. Go back to God, reclaim your joy, have meals together, cultivate real community, increase our mental health. And here's the thing I want to see us hundreds, thousands women of faith as we fast from social media to pray for our younger girls, for teen girls and young women. Today, girls are spending over nine hours a day on social media. They're living through their lives on their phone and today one in 13 girls seriously contemplates attempting suicide. There's been over like 70, 151% increase in suicide attempts, and it is our responsibility as women of faith to pray for these girls, and I haven't seen a movement like that, a global movement among women of faith, to do that, and this is our time.
Speaker 1:It is our time.
Speaker 2:We have to reach these girls. We have to give them the hope of Christ, and when we fast, god hears our prayers and he does a mighty work. We see what the effects of fasting does in this spiritual realm. So my hope is hundreds, thousands of women of faith going off together all ages, getting their lives back, getting their joy back, and fasting from it to pray for healing for girls and women whose lives really are being destroyed by this.
Speaker 1:They really are Literally yeah, no, it's happening.
Speaker 2:So, uh, yeah, you can go on my website. You can join the movement. Um, you'll get. I'm also doing a course. You can get 15, 50% off the teaching course that goes with the book. Okay, um, there's giveaways lots of pre-order. Fun things, okay, perfect and then I do three coaching calls for the month of August so you can join on those. So it's kind of like community talks, coaching calls so, and you can share it with all the women, your friends.
Speaker 1:I'm already going to be doing that. As we say in Uruguay, they'll go. I'm already doing it. So already doing it in my mind and figuring out how I can assist you and support you in that and how our community can support you. So we're with you 100%. We will be praying for you as well as so that you can sustain health and your mental, emotional health to throughout this book launching and movement launching.
Speaker 2:Thank you, and just thank you, for the way you pour into the women you serve. I know each one of them listening has been very blessed by you and your faithfulness and the way you selflessly serve and encourage them. It's just such an honor to meet you and to be a guest. So thank you, so happy to have you, thank you.
Speaker 1:I'm so happy to have you. Thank you.
