Breaking the Ice (Without Slipping)

Making it a goal to do uncomfortable things to find comfort within myself. 

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Transcript

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if

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you are building

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and building your confidence, then it's trying things that are going to be uncomfortable. Get uncomfortable to get comfortable, I believe that is what Tom He got uncomfortable and then

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became comfortable

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he was growing

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with

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Zendaya and

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the family and his community, like

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everything, and just finding his comfortability

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share your

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stories with me

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what was like an uncomfortable

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thing that you

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did and, it landed you something that you never thought that you Would

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get

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You know, I always feel like people are so spot on, perfect, like right

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and ready when the camera comes on. I like seeing people

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get together like, Oh

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shoot,

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you caught me off guard. Uh, welcome back. Hey, I was trying to do

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a different one.

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So, um, it's, I'm just sharing with Shonda. Hey guys, hey, it's your girl, or maybe not. Shonda, that's me. I'm really happy that you're here. I'm happy that

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I'm here. It is

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a beautiful, beautiful day, a beautiful start of the year. It's the talk of the town and my talk, my girl, your

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girl, Zendaya is engaged.

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Some people will be upset about

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this information.

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Others are over the

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fucking moon. Sorry and excuse my language,

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but I do have to say the reason why we're all

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over the moon. For me, actually,

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I'm over

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the mood for this

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love

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because

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first they're the same like age range.

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I'm like, I can't get over the fact that like we had this

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in our generation and you

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know, 28,

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27, I'm

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28. I'm like, I can't wait.

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Ayo, being

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this age has just,

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It's just a beautiful, beautiful thing. And seeing Zendaya and, you

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know, Tom together and

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love, I'm like,

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it's just so positive. I'm like, that's a huge win, bro.

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Like, that's cool. I'm going to

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that type

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of love. Like, I just feel like you have to. And the way how

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we're going to find that out is by getting uncomfortable.

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I feel like

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because we're just so comfortable within ourselves, you don't get uncomfortable. You get nervous. Trying to.

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Talk to somebody, flirt with somebody, you know,

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probably the shy type or

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you have big energy.

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They don't know how to take it. Sometimes you just don't know how to read them, but hey, reading other

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people, maybe they're just not for you. But at the same time, just being

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yourself

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is going to

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bring those

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people

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like in. And it's just so funny me

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thinking about Tom

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Holland and how he He built his career, manifested things, said things,

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then it

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happened.

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One of

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them being like,

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Zendaya, like, it's just really crazy to me, like, that man

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was intentional.

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And I think that's just what

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everything in

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2025 is about,

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it's about being intentional.

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That whole relationship,

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Tom Holland, Zendaya,

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them, is being clearly intentional with each other. The way how he talks about it on podcasts, the way

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how they communicate and being comfortable is like

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seeing eye to eye that we feel the

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same about a certain topic or

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whatever.

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Or, you know, seeing how

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things go.

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And if it doesn't

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work out, then we'll go with the other, you know, thing. But

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it's just conversation,

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but it's about being

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intentional with your actions. That man was intentional

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when he went up on that stage and sang and dance For Zendaya, like it's just a moment in time that will never go away. The whole, I'm going to let the rape, uh, let me not sing. Okay. But what

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I'm saying, like that song was saying so much at that time. And I think

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people like, you know, it's a song

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of a gosh, but just like, he was making a statement.

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Like I will

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always be, you know, I would be a friend, but you know, friends turn into lovers turn into. Boyfriend, girlfriend turns into fiance, turns into wife,

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like bro,

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like

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such an intentional relationship and I just feel that you know, it's possible, you know, it is possible. Am

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I looking for

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a relationship, you ask?

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Not right now, because I just feel like if you're being yourself, you worry about all the stuff that you're doing and what your goals and stuff

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is and you're

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just focused on you. Those people will. Come to you. You're going to attract those people and

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how to get there. I watched a guy shout out to Evan on Instagram. It's him and his dog Vader. Love them But he also talked about doing

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uncomfortable things

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he goes out

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a restaurant eats by himself But it's his

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restaurant or

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you know different restaurants and if you like it, you know, that's his he tries different dance classes he goes tries like Just different things by himself.

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And I think the by yourself thing is like

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people

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who think, Oh, you're going to go by yourself. I'm like, no,

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you know, they want to have somebody with them and that's okay.

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But I just think

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if

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you are building

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and building your confidence, then it's trying things that are going to be uncomfortable. Get uncomfortable to get comfortable,

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you know, like that's how

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it just

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all is right now. And

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I just feel that with how trying things at

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time that just seems so limited

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and how

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you know spending money is out there and going out and how some things are like really expensive that it normally like stops people but there's so many

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free things to do

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to just

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be different like

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like

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to just try different things

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what I mean like there are free you just have

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to do your research do I

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have those right now No, I haven't done

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My research

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before this. I'm very sorry. But other free things. I walk

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around Barnes Nobles, um, and taking the time to read a book. And even though I can't afford

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the book

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at the time, I still read it.

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I go out. I just love the atmosphere. I sit at restaurants and eat by myself. I also sit at,

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like, things that aren't

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restaurants, um, but

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like a winery place. There's one place that's in White Marsh, and I have

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and I have yet to go there, but it's on my list. But

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it gives restaurant, but

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gives deli

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inside and um, but it's a store as well Like it's

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just all

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three in one

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and the sit down is like really

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The atmosphere is really open, but it seems closed off because it's a store

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like but it's a restaurant It's it's just so weird but like I want to

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go there and just sit

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and do the ultimate people watching and um, It's going to be weird, but i'm just Doing what I like doing. I love watching

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people in conversation. Is

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that weird?

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I like

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Shonda, This is getting like a little bit of weird of a podcast, but

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I'm just like

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admiring love or admiring

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how intense a conversation you get. I don't listen, but I just see like body. I mean if you're this close

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or

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or whatever, of course listen,

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but I love seeing body language. I love

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seeing how somebody's smiling

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and like really laughing at like a conversation. Like I just feel like that's just. very cool. And manifesting picturing

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me being in that same

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type of,

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um, comfort

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by talking to people and like really invested in

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what they're saying and stories

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whatnot. I feel that I

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could do that with somebody. That's me getting uncomfortable.

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So if I'm picturing it,

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I'm going to

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do that. Not

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with just sisters and close friends. Now, I want to be open. To talking to somebody different and

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inviting them out and being that I think when

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I find

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or when you find how we find um places that we like and

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you find

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comfortable at you're

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more

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you feel like you

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have to share it with somebody like oh

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I want

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to share this

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cool spot

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with you this is my favorite spot it would suck

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I would say

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the con

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of that but it would suck

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if that person just wasn't who they are or

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um,

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Depending on who

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they are. This is getting a little

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bit deep, but just saying if they weren't and they mess up your spot, you're like,

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fuck, I really like that. My favorite spot. But Now

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person

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goes there now, some

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people will be like, that's not

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stopping me going to my favorite spot. I put them on. Others will probably think like, shoot.

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Um, you know,

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and I think that this is the good thing about if this happens, I'm going deep into this guys. I'm gonna

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dig myself out, but I'm just saying, like,

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if that happens,

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Then it's probably time to find a new spot that you'll find comfortable in a different

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area You

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could find it in a different place a little bit further from home

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You like the area you like to drive home. Like I feel like all that when you think about it, just like

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i'm Cool with getting a new spot because it's better than my last one, you know, like okay

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That was a

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lot But all i'm saying is is when you

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try different things in different places and you like it, You're

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more likely to get somebody that you know, new, invite them out and you tell them about what you like about this and that you feel comfortable with it. Like, I already know what to do to this.

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I already know, like, for example, I

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know the best thing on that menu and it can't be the same thing that you always get. This is your favorite spot and you have to try anything on the menu. Of course, anything there

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that you are more likely to be like, I know what

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you're going to like.

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Play it as a game, like, I got

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something. I want you to try something that I'm going to choose. And the next time that, you know, we're on a date, you can tell me to try your favorite thing. Boom, second date already

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happening. Like, Oh my God, it's just so perfect. I feel that because

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you just know that

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you're more likely and to

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be successful in these kind of things, you know? And

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my

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story for me, when I started

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flirting with somebody, I knew I was at my friend's house and Um, what made it not, yeah, what made it intimidating about talking to this person is because everybody was like booed

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up in a way.

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The party

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was for essentials, essence, um, sexy toys, like I'm going blank on

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the name, but everybody was like partnered up. They were already

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in

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relationship, uh, or somebody

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was already talking to

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somebody and they were like married couples. So I feel like

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me and this

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guy, we were the

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only two like

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single people there, I believe. Um, so yeah, yeah. I feel like we were the only

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people, single people there. So it was funny because when I'm trying to talk to like, My friends or their new friends,

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not him, not yet

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that

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they pointed

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out. It was just like

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Shonda.

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Hey, like he's single over there

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and I'm like, yeah, cool. And they're like, go talk to him. I'm like, I mean,

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I will, I am,

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I just want a pizza real fast. Like it was just like a whole thing. And then I also felt that I needed,

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um,

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you

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know, alcohol just to give me the little encouragement

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or whatever. I'll talk about that a little bit

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later too. But, um, you know,

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I.

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Ended

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up going to like three different spots, like two

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different spots between my friends

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Uh, they were one group over there and then one of us over there. I'll go to the other

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group and he was like

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shined up. Are you going to go talk to him? That's or that's so and so friend. And I'm like, yeah, I

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know

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it's a whole thing. So when I went over there, I ended up moving very weird. Like I had my shoulders, like my head down in my shoulders. I was like scrunched down and like, Hey, and then, um, because I just wasn't comfortable. uh, Yeah, I just felt like my conversation was so forced. I felt like I gave so many like interviewers type of questions, like, yeah.

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so.

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Or just weird interview questions, quote unquote, out interview questions. I don't know if that makes sense, but my question was like, So you go

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to the gym Nice

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like oh you

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to the gym you feel like you could save

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me like, you know, he's just like cool And He was just like, Yeah, sure, you know, he's like

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marine

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It was just so many

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things

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that I felt that

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I was

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forcing the interview type of sit down questions And it's like

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So

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where are you working at now? Like what's going on? And I didn't have like really

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interesting

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questions to like ask them. So

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it just made

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me even more nervous

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and

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not knowing what to say. And I wanted to be like, so do you want to get out of here? And I really was serious was because like

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all my

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were around and it seemed like, I know that they were just

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doing their own stuff. But at the same time, I just felt like they were

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invested in a way. So they're like,

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I think it was just like some glances here and there.

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And I really did just want to like,

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you just want to take

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this

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off a

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It's a little bit intimidating here. You know, i'm feeling a little bit of pressure. It was

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so much.

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Um, I didn't end up doing it. I think that he, uh, ended

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up leaving cause, um,

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I had to go in the back

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buy something I wanted, I wanted to buy something, um, I did.

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Um, but. Finding the comfortability and uncomfortable conversations, like I forced myself to now have these uncomfortable conversations. And I'm really glad glad for Instagram with all the stuff that like, um,

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I'm seeing,

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um, either a podcast or interviewing somebody or

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just somebody

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talking about like,

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you know, conversation.

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And there are more

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interesting questions

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to come. have, more opened, uh, questions than, before.

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you know,

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just a Yes or no, or like the basic stuff. So I'm really excited to test that out. One of them was like, do you have

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exciting projects that, um, you're going to be doing in

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2025?

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Um, and then

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like the other one would be like,

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what makes it so exciting? Like,

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why, you know, like,

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I really

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would love to have like a

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really good conversation with somebody and get to know

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somebody. And I also just like, for me, I don't

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it to be like,

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I

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want to keep

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the energy up. So I don't mean that normally I have these like really weird, awkward questions, but I

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just can't go with

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the

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stuff. So I'm

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going to say like the first thing that pops on my

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mind, like

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I just blurted out now because like, I don't want

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to

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think about it. Like, I just don't want to

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think

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about it. and I am like a very observant person. So like I

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just really can't

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to like, see, I

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usually like

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react off with somebody's like facial expressions and like, I was like, I caught you off guard. You know? So like that's just the uncomfortability of it and I'm willing to like, dive deep in there

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because it's just gonna open some more doors

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up. So, um, and to get

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to know new people,

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friends. You know, new friends, new guys, you know, I'm very excited about it. I'm very excited about it. Um,

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but

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just, I feel

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like when you're playful and light in yourself that

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you'll have like a really cool

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time, you know, even if it ends up

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not going your

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way.

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You always try, try again and get uncomfortable because.

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I believe that is what Tom

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Like,

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he got uncomfortable and then

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became comfortable

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he was growing

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with

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Zendaya and

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the family and his community, like

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everything, and just finding his comfortability. And I feel

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like as a young man, also like a young woman for Zendaya, is that they just, you know, still learning each other, but they know each other. Like, individually they know each other and

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then themselves together.

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knowing each other. I just find it like really, really beautiful. So I think when it comes to like flirtation

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and

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being uncomfortable to get comfortable, I just feel like you just have to

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try

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try it. Like you really have to like try it and go for it and be

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intentional

Flirting 16:19

with it. Don't back out after

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one, you know,

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sidetrack or just didn't go your way. Like you

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just keep

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trying and stay

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uncomfortable because it's

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It's going to get those comfort people in there. I don't know. Guys, I really thank

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you for tuning in to another episode of I'm Just Chanda. Please remember to

Flirting 16:39

rate, like, comment, and subscribe to Apple, Spotify, my YouTube

IMG_1220[1] 16:44

I always

Flirting 16:45

always do that. I always say plage. This is like the

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fourth time that this happens. I'm sorry.

Flirting 16:53

I

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continue. You can comment and DM on my

Flirting 16:57

Instagram, any of my social medias, Tik

IMG_1220[1] 16:59

TikTok, X, I'm on there.

Flirting 17:01

And just let me know how you feel like about this. I would love to know. Share it,

IMG_1220[1] 17:07

guys. Share it. Um,

Flirting 17:10

you can also share your

IMG_1220[1] 17:11

stories with me if

Flirting 17:12

you would like to tell me about what you thought about this episode or what was like an uncomfortable

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thing that you

Flirting 17:20

did and, you know, it landed you something that you never thought that you Would

IMG_1220[1] 17:27

get

Flirting 17:28

So yeah, share that with me at i'm just sharing pod at gmail. com Thank you guys

IMG_1220[1] 17:33

tuning into

Flirting 17:33

another episode of i'm just sharing with Sharda. I'll see

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you in the next one. Bye