Underdogs Bootstrappers Gamechangers

OVERCOMING STRUGGLE ISN’T EASY, BUT THREE-TIME MISS OLYMPIA SHOWS THE WAY

• Tyler • Season 1 • Episode 25

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Whitney Jones, three-time Miss Olympia, shares how to build grit, resilience, and lasting success in sports, business, and life.

One listener. One turning point. This conversation shows how small, stubborn steps can still change a life.

Whitney talks about the roots of her drive, including sibling rivalry, perfectionism, and recovering from an eating disorder. She uses quick resets like saved joy folders, puppy videos, and photos of her boys to shift perspective fast. She explains training through pain, including 19 surgeries, a broken neck, and a torn ACL, and why she still chose to compete. The lesson is simple: focus on what you can control, stack small wins, and let belief grow.

We also cover life beyond competition. Big missions bring big challenges, so build a grit ladder, track progress, and lean on mentors who see further. Whitney shares insights on choosing partners who elevate you, raising boys in modern masculinity, and lessons from Arnold Schwarzenegger about craft, discipline, and focus.

If you need permission to start late, scared, or again, this episode delivers. Follow, share with a friend, and leave a review with your next small win.

Mission And Audience Focus

SPEAKER_04

Hello and welcome to Underdogs, Bootstrappers, and Game Changers. This is for those of you that are starting with nothing and using business to change their stars. Motivating people who disrupted industry standards. This is the real side of business. This isn't Shark Tank. My aim with this podcast is to take away some of the imaginary roadblocks that are out there. I want to help more underdogs because underdogs are truly who changed the world. This is part of our Content for Good initiative. All the proceeds from the monetization of this podcast will go to charitable causes. It's for the person that wants it. Hello and welcome to another episode of Underdogs, Bootstrappers, Game Changers. And I have my dear friend Whitney with me here today. How are you doing, Whitney?

SPEAKER_00

I'm doing great. How are you?

SPEAKER_04

Good. You know, so I want to interrupt my own podcast for a second. Okay. And give the way I actually think about how I divulge good friends like you and how I'm going to bring them on as guests. Because I happen to know you're an amazing person. I happen to know we have amazing conversations, but I also have to remember the questions I want to ask as my person are different from what the audience might need today. And so I really, you know, I've read your book, you know, I really like hard think about my target audience and like what I'm going to do to help them today. And, you know, like what I think about my target audience, I think about one person in the world that is sitting at home listening to this, watching this, right? And like, what am I going to do today to help them with a messaging for their life? Right? I love it.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah.

Introducing Whitney And Grit

SPEAKER_04

And I deep think this to the point that I know their name, I know what they eat, I know what they watch on TV, you know, it's like, and that person then, I think of their story. I actually added this into ChatGPT, and I said, give me a story on this person background, you know? Oh, right. And I kid you not, like it almost made me cry. And so every time I'm sitting in the seat, I think about that person and how I'm going to impact their life today, and therefore using you as one of my tools to help them impact their life. And so I have a special episode for you folks today. Grit, above all else, I think is the key indicator of anything, right? Sure. And everybody I have on my podcast has grit to some extent, you know, and Whitney has an overwhelming amount of grit, and you'll hear that story today. Um, just a drop and a reason to stick around. Three time Miss Olympia, did it broken?

SPEAKER_00

Yes, a few times. A few times. A few times broken, yes.

SPEAKER_04

And there's so many times in our life, and I'm gonna evolve a lot of this into fitness because that's your background today. Absolutely. There's so many times in our life that like fitness correlates perfectly as an analogy for me to so many other things in life.

SPEAKER_01

Agreed.

SPEAKER_04

So the first thing I'm gonna ask you today um is gonna be pretty personal.

SPEAKER_01

Okay.

SPEAKER_04

When we walk when we go into a gym and we see people across the gym, the most fit people are usually that way because of some psychology deep down. Sure.

SPEAKER_00

Absolutely.

Trauma, Perfectionism, And Drive

SPEAKER_04

Often that's trauma. Right? I can speak to my own. You know, there's a lot of anger flowing in me. There's a lot of regret, there's a lot of um desire to save the world. I see awful things on social media that make me angry. And I get that out as an outlet of the gym. You know, self-esteem issues from when you're younger, all that sort of stuff. So tell me, like your original fitness path, what was the trauma that sparked it?

SPEAKER_00

Gosh, um, you know, I do have to say I feel lucky that I haven't experienced some of the level of trauma that a lot of my friends and athletes that I'm very close with have experienced to get them to this elite level. But everyone has their own version.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

For me growing up, I had two older brothers who I adored. I came from a great family. We were always competitive. Everything was a competition. And being a young sister and just not able to run and compete at their level, it constantly made me feel a little less than. And that just drove me to be next level in everything I did, to the point where I became a perfectionist. I did have an eating disorder that was pretty uh dramatic and had a big impact in my life, where trying to combat and overcome that, I wanted to prove that I didn't have to be a perfectionist. So then it got into this level of my life where I never wanted to be challenged, where I could be positioned in a way where someone identified me as I could not achieve something. And so anytime, whether it was work, um, like professionally in my career or athletic or, you know, even being a mom, if someone said you can't, it was like it just lit something in me that I couldn't manage myself. And for me as an athlete, that's what drove me to be the champion I was, which is great in a way, but there are downfalls of it. And it that is a form of perfectionism, of proving people wrong. And so that's for me, that was where so much of what I achieved in life came from of proving people wrong, um, putting in the work when no one was watching, and then just showing myself and everyone, I told you so. I knew I could do it, you doubted me. Fuck off.

Doubt Loops And Pattern Interrupts

SPEAKER_04

I agree, but like I wouldn't have anything in life if it wasn't for that mentality myself. Right.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04

Personally, in my saga, so to speak, it took me a while before, at first, when people tell you you can't do something, at least for me, yeah, I believe them. Right. And it took a switch mentally somehow. And I'd love to give people that switch. I don't know what that was. And I finally had a little belief in myself. And then that allowed me, and in some of it was the gym too. I reach back to that often. It's like you have little wins in the gym, you give yourself a little confidence, and then you feel like you can take on that next thing.

SPEAKER_00

Totally, yes. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04

Did you ever have that moment where it's like you wanted you almost could believe them for a second that you couldn't? Oh, for sure.

SPEAKER_00

For sure. I mean, you for me, I would have those dark moments of doubt when maybe things weren't going right, or I had expectations of how this day or this week or this month or even the competition was gonna go, and it did not go that way.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

And then I started thinking, am I full of shit? Like, am I trying so hard to prove something that I'm actually not? And it was in those moments that you do. I mean, it's this, you can take yourself down this dark cycle in this pit, but thankfully it's like there's a new day, right? And um, the art of distraction for me is huge. And so I realized when I started letting my mind go into this trap, I'm the only person who can control if I get out of it.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

So the art of distraction for me, whether it was two o'clock in the morning and I'm sitting in bed and just spinning my mind out of control, I would get up and I would do anything, something. Um, you know, whether it's reading a magazine, reading a book, watching a TV show, scrolling Instagram. I needed an art of distraction to get my brain to think about something else besides all these things I'm not, the doubt, the fear, the rejection, whatever it was, so that I could just get myself to kind of flip my mindset, flip my attitude and get back on the yes, you can, yes, you can, and just telling myself, don't be X, be Z, and just go all in. But you know, that's the reality of it. I'm never this straight arrow. It's hills and valleys, it's a roller coaster.

Gratitude As A Reset

SPEAKER_04

So I would define that as a derailment of thought, right? So if you're going down these negative paths, then you try to pattern interrupt in some way, and you're saying you use pattern interrupt as like, I'm gonna throw on Instagram for a minute, or I'm gonna have you know, and actually that leads to an interesting point. Do you have a bank box that is like any moment that is like you can pull up a couple clips or something like that that really hit you home that like when you need it?

SPEAKER_00

I do. So um I have folders in Instagram that I go to, whether it's motivation, whether it's funny memes, whether it's I'm a huge dog lover, um, puppies. Yeah. So something to either make me laugh, make me grateful, make me humble, yeah, um, make me enjoy the simple things like puppies. So I have that. I also have um folders on my iPhone, like the camera roll of my boys. My boys are my biggest inspiration. And whenever, you know, I'm just kind of in this pit or having this pity party, you know, it's like, yeah, stop it. Like you are so lucky to have so many things in your life that people would, in a heartbeat, change places. I have two amazing boys. Sure. I have an amazing life, I have a great home, I have a car, like all these simple things, right, that we kind of take for granted.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

And it allows me to go, God, quit, quit being a little baby.

SPEAKER_04

And no matter what level we're on, you know, it's like I grew up really poor and I didn't have much at a lot of different points. And then you're like, poor me, I don't have a lot of things, you know? Yeah, right. Yeah. And then uh these days, it's like I remember feeling a little really silly last year, or like, you know, we have those big storms, they just hay boobs. Oh, totally, yeah. You have a huge skylight up here in this building, and um all of a sudden the hayboob just grabs the skylight, like God-reaching hand, and rips it off the building, right? And then like I'm sitting down in the office, I'm already having a rough day. And then all of a sudden, it's like a brand new roof that I put on the other building. I start getting, and I'm like thinking about, okay, what am I gonna do in the middle of this hurricane to fix that, right? And while I'm thinking about that, I'm sitting in the seat, I'm stewing about a bunch of other things, and the roof starts leaking on my head, you know? And then I'm like thinking about this, like as I'm driving to the gym the next morning, I'm feeling bad for myself. Like, oh, really? You're feeling bad that you're like expensive property and a roof that you have money to fix and the physical capability to fix it as well. You're driving your fancy truck to the gym to work out in your first world plate, and you're gonna feel bad about yourself.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah. You're like, oh, my own business. I have to fit. Yeah. It's you know, and the thing is, it goes back to gratitude always.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

And just kind of repositioning yourself to understand what's important, uh, acknowledge accomplishments, big or small.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

And then really just kind of center yourself. Get I call it getting back to neutral, where you can go, okay.

Fueling Workouts: Anger Vs Positivity

SPEAKER_04

That that's what I really want people to see is like I'm around a really lot of successful, interesting people, you know, and we all do this to ourselves. You know, it's like no matter where you get in life, there is that poor me for a second. I don't care who you are. Yeah, and it's like you can't allow yourself that you especially do it when you're like first starting, it's like, oh, people are better, they have more, you know, all these things. And that's a mentality that you really need to break. That's why I bring up the some of these silly stories about like your progression in life. You're still gonna feel that way at any point, the way you're feeling right now. You know, it's like, but then you're gonna realize how silly you are for feeling it. And right, I actually want people to feel silly a little bit sooner, too, because you can do something about it.

SPEAKER_00

For sure. And you've got to learn how do you manage that. Yeah. So it's gonna happen. You can't avoid it. What you can control is how you manage it. And that's really where the true character of a person is shown.

SPEAKER_04

There's my favorite book is Man's Search for Meaning, and I'm gonna paraphrase it awfully here, but it's like basically like when life gives you circumstances, it's not what happens to you, it's how you act in those actions of what happened to you, right?

SPEAKER_03

Totally.

SPEAKER_04

It's like here's a guy from a Nazi concentration camp and he's thinking this way, you know, as a psychologist. I can't help that this happened to me. All I can control is how I act now, right? Right, for sure. And you can't help that. Um, I want to circle back a little bit and I want to talk about thriving and burning. Um do you burn through anger or do you burn through positive energy to stay motivated?

SPEAKER_00

I would definitely say positive energy. How do you do that? Um, I can't do that. I don't, you know, that's a great question. I don't know. I I think because I've seen so many people be angry, I've seen their life just implode because they can't understand the goodness they have, they don't understand the blessings, they're so focused on what they don't have that it's this negative energy. And I saw that in my college, excuse me, college and early 20s, that I just thought these people are wasting their life. So, you know, and again, this is during a period too where I was in eating disorder rehab, yeah, really in-depth some therapy. And I'm sure that had a lot to do with it, where I felt fortunate to be alive, I felt fortunate to have a future ahead and didn't care what it looked like because I got to now trail, um, blaze my own trail.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

Competing Through Injury

SPEAKER_00

And so I just kind of made this self-conviction that I never want to be that. I didn't know really what I wanted to be and just um do, but I know I didn't want to be this example of negativity. And so you ask anyone around me, they're like, you are always so bubbly and you're always so positive. How are you always so happy? There's always something to be happy about. There's also always something to be sad about or angry about. It never served me to stay in that place for too long. So it's a way to change my outlook. If I'm in a bad mood or angry, things just always get worse. This I know about myself. So you have to change it.

SPEAKER_04

I'm just wondering, you know, it's like people tell me that I'm constantly happy, you know, to ask what I'm on, you know, on and that sort of stuff. Um, but I'm actually a really angry person. You know, are you really? But I burn it productively. And so, like, my question is more towards you're an animal in the gym. You have to be to accomplish, like, I go in there, the reason I can be kind of an animal in the gym is because I'm working through all the things that bug me in life. Sure. Right? And I'll amp myself up a little bit. Like I was telling you the story about the guy that abused the wolf, you know, earlier. You know, it's like I'm a big animal lover. That amps me up. I go to the gym and I want to hurt those weights, right? Right. You know, it's like I want to like hit that heavy bag. I've broken, I've broken probably 20 heavy bags at LA Fitness. No, yeah, and it's like that's the result of like getting my anger out, I think, positively. Sure, absolutely. I can't imagine going in and be like, life is so good today. I love everybody. How am I gonna kill this weight? You gotta describe how you use the positive energy to still kill a weight to me.

SPEAKER_00

Well, um my mindset to use that example, you know, when I'm training for Olympia for the several years, I mean, I was back to back seven to eight competitions a year around the country and then prepping for the Olympia. I'm a single mom, I'm running multiple businesses. Life is crazy. Yep. But I always was so happy that like I'm doing some pretty cool shit. Yeah. And how fortunate am I? Now, if you look at me on paper, I should have never been a pro athlete. I should have never, ever stepped on the Olympia stage, much less ever win it.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

So I think the fact that I was unlike anyone else, I was older than almost everyone I was competing with.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

Fear After Injury And Comebacks

SPEAKER_00

And the fact that I could do it, I always went to this motto, you don't have to, you get to.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

And so for me, you know, I would go in super sore and I've got three hours, which is a good chunk of time that I get to get my workout in, routine practice, skills training, you name it, as I'm prepping. And the fact that I'm like, wow, I have three hours today. This is amazing. I will tell you, never did I not get interrupted constantly in those three hours or get a call from my boys and they forgot their bag for practice. I mean, you name it, work-related stuff. But I was so excited to just go and just achieve. And I think for me, my my days were booked from 3 to 4 a.m. that I'm getting up to get going till late at night, you know, burning the midnight oil for work. I was excited to just do stuff and almost like a challenge. How long can I go without being interrupted? How long do I get to focus on what I'm supposed to do before I get derailed?

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

And so it was almost like I gamified things, if that makes sense. Yeah. To kind of make it a joke where I knew it wouldn't always work out right. But then when it didn't, I I expected that.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

And I just would try to be grateful and happy that I was able to get something in. And, you know, again, whether there were some days that it didn't work out, and I have this huge, massive goal. I'm trying to compete to be one of the best in the world, and going, I've got 800 things on my plate that nobody else does. Give yourself a little credit. Give yourself some slack. But uh to go back to another point, there were those down moments where it's like you're failing at everything, you're failing at running your business property, you're failing at your prep and doing everything you need to for your competition. You're failing because you're not there every single minute as a mom.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

Right. So it's like, okay, but then as I flipped that, it's like you're doing the best you can. You're never going to be the perfect business owner, the perfect athlete, the perfect mom. Is everything working great? Just be happy because the shoe may drop tomorrow and it may not be that way. So, you know, I always just tried to use the positive energy. Because, like I said, if I allowed myself, allowed myself to stay in that negative space, things just continued to go wrong.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

Kobe’s Mindset And Writing Your Ending

SPEAKER_00

And I experienced that enough times that I love to be positive because then I could handle all the stuff that's coming at me. It's like boom, boom, knock it out, punch it, punch it. Nothing's gonna phase me as long as I'm staying in this positive mindset.

SPEAKER_04

You know, the best uh business advice I ever heard was Rocky. It's like uh taking hits and keep walking forward. Totally, yes. That's what grit is. And so selfishly, the conversation I really wanted to have today was around like, how do you stop grit? You know, because it can be dangerous at a certain point. But let's face it, 99.9% of the population doesn't have enough grit, right? I agree. Yes. And those you see, like uh a David Goggins, for instance, he also thrives off anger, right? You know, although he's I think he's almost angry like outwardly too. Yeah, you know, I'm very positive outwardly. I burn all my negative stuff out, I think in a very productive way. Sure. And I'm like, the world is handing me this anger, you know, like I and I happen to have a healthy uh dose of empathy. Usually my anger comes from empathy. Sure. Because I'm putting myself in people's shoes, uh, you know, like causes that I care about, things like that. And that that makes me angry and I burn through it, you know. But I also wanted to give them the positive side. My side isn't for everybody, right? You know, I say if it's given to you, find a healthy way to burn it out, right? Right. You know, there's a phrase I use, it's like, um, it can be, you know, gas is fuel to drive an ambulance or start a fire, right? Constructively, destructively, you know. Yeah. So if you have that, like find a construct. If I'm going out there getting in road rage on the street, now I'm affecting the world. Right. If I'm crushing some weights, you know, like then like I'm I'm using it positively. And then usually I'm going towards a solution in my mind, too. Absolutely. Um, and that's why I just find it so alien to me almost to go in there just like so happy. But like what I'm hearing also is like, I get to do this.

SPEAKER_01

Yes.

SPEAKER_04

I'm blessed to do this. Right. You know, I'm fortunate to be here. I do the this because I love it, you know. Although I think there's a slight seed of anger in there too, because you're still trying to prove people wrong.

SPEAKER_00

I'm sure. Absolutely. There's no, I can't sit here and say, oh, I'm always just so happy and everything's great. No chance.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

I always will be trying to prove people wrong.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

Because I feel like I put myself in these situations where I don't really belong, but that's why it's a challenge and I thrive on challenges.

SPEAKER_04

It's crazy to me to hear you say that because it's like you're three-time Miss Olympia. Everybody in this town knows you. A lot of people know you throughout the country, country, you know. Like you've literally won at the top of the stage and you've done it with what, a broken neck, yeah, a broken leg. And what was the third injury you had?

SPEAKER_00

Well, I've I mean, I've never done an Olympia without something injured. So um, I've had 19 surgeries now. I've broken almost every bone in my body. So, you know, I've had broken ribs that I've competed with, torn shoulders.

SPEAKER_04

Ribs are the worst.

SPEAKER_00

Oh, God, they are. And the thing is that you don't really have much to show. Like, you know, you break a leg, you've got a cast, you've got things. Ribs are tough because you got to breathe.

No-Quitting Principle And Life Trajectories

SPEAKER_02

Oh, yeah. But man, you can't laugh, you can't breathe. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

Totally. So I've had, you know, torn shoulders, torn ACL, um, I've torn my shoulders actually five times, three times on the left, twice on here, broken wrists, broken ankles, you name it. But two Olympias that I've won have been um the first one was nine months after a broken neck and um right after a torn ACL. And then the third Olympia was with a broken leg. Third Olympia win.

SPEAKER_04

How do you get over? And this is a selfish question. I'm sorry, folks, I have to ask at least one. How do you get over the fear? You know, because it's like I broke my back quite a few years ago, and I'm constantly afraid now at any moment I could break it again, and that'll take me out of everything. So how do you like still push hard with the fear at any moment? It's like once you've broken like something, it's like, okay, this could break again. What do you do to that?

SPEAKER_00

Um You know what's interesting is I've noticed recently, yeah, the past year or year and a half, I have fear of injuries.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

For the first time.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

I mean, what's what's crazy is after I broke my neck, the trick that I did where I actually was like hurt my neck, um, skills that I've done where I tore my ACL, I've gone back like as soon as I could to do it. And I always, you know, was questioned, people like, why would you do it again?

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

And for me, it's like uh, you know, you hear old gymnasts would like, if you get injured, you get back on the beam, you do the skill, you get back on the bars, you do the skill. Now, I wasn't a gymnast, but I heard that and I thought that's how you embrace fear. So all these years, I didn't really have fear of breaking stuff. And maybe it's because I had broken so many things that I'm like, eh, I always recover.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

Um, but lately, and it's probably because I still have a lot of pain um symptoms and effects from my neck injury, but I've been more hesitant as of recently with injuring my neck again. But I think it's because it goes to being paralyzed.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

And that's the first time, literally, that I've been fearful of an injury is just in the last year or year and a half.

The Grit Game: Building Tools

SPEAKER_04

I mean, in for an athlete, the the body is the instrument, right? It's like just like, so let's say you play the oboe and it gets crushed by a bus. You know, it's like you can't really play the oboe that day, you know? It's like, or in the fitness world, it's like if your back is broken, your shoulder's broken, it's really hard to like fine-tune that instrument, you know?

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_04

So what mentality can you use to come back?

SPEAKER_00

I guess for me, I I love activity and that that's what helps me mentally to just feel accomplished. Um, you know, it allows me to think through issues, problems, complicated, whatever it is. Yeah. Like if I'm having a business issue, the gym is where I work through it and I come up with solutions. Totally. Or I'm trying to be creative with an idea or an approach or a pitch, whatever it is. That's where I work through it. So no matter what, when I've been injured, I have always been active. So if it's an upper body thing that's injured, I'm like, this is my time. I'm gonna, my lower body's gonna be legit while this is in rehab. So vice versa, there's always something you can do.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

So the injuries are a way that I've known, and again, I've seen several people get in this deep dark state.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

Depression is real, especially for athletes with an injury.

SPEAKER_02

Sure.

SPEAKER_00

So I think, you know, when I had some pretty significant injuries early on in my career as a fitness pro, I realized, well, I don't want to stay there, but I also knew I couldn't. If I was gonna climb the ladder, I needed to find a way to continue staying on point, stay in shape, work on skills. And so it allowed me to, again, the art of distraction. Don't focus on the injury. It's gonna be weeks before you can do anything. But what can you do?

SPEAKER_03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

If you don't focus on what you can't and you only focus on what you can, that makes the time pass a lot faster.

Small Wins And Realistic Goals

SPEAKER_04

You know, it's the same thing in business too. Yeah. And and I'm not big on like diving in and reading stuff on this podcast because I think it slows it down. But I do want to read you, like at least kind of paraphrase through this. Um, this is such BS. All the training and sacrifice just flew out the window with one step that I've done a million times. The frustration is unbearable. The anger is rage. Why the hell did this happen? Makes no damn sense. Now I'm supposed to come back from this and be the same old player or better at 35. How in the world am I supposed to do that? I have no clue. Do I have the consistent will to overcome this thing? Maybe I should take a break and go to the rocking chair. Reminisce on a career that was. Maybe this is how my book ends. My f has father time defeated me? Then again, maybe not. It's 3 30 a.m., my foot feels like dead weight, my head is spinning from the pain meds, and I'm wide awake. Forgive my venting, but what's the purpose of social media if I can't bring to you this real image? Feels good to vent. Let it out. To feel it all as if this is the worst thing ever. Because all that venting, a per real perspective sets in. There are far greater issues, challenges in the world than a torn Achilles. Stop feeling sorry for self. Find the silver lining and get to work with the same belief, same drive, and same conviction as ever. One day, the beginning of a new career journey will commence. Today is not that day. I'm gonna end it here. If you see me in a fight with the bear, pray for the bear. How do you feel about that?

SPEAKER_00

I love it. You know who that is? Kobe Bryant.

SPEAKER_04

Kobe Bryant.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah. It's the reality of you have to feel the raw emotion of this sucks. And that's the truth of it.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

Like being able to put a spin on it and find the silver lining and say, this is not the end of it.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

Is what I love. Like he said, raw, real, this is how I'm feeling, but and then it flips. And that's where it matters. That's where it matters. As an athlete, I mean, that was that was me when I won my first world champion.

SPEAKER_03

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_00

First world championship title. It was the Arnold Classic. So it was nine months after I broke my neck, and everyone had said, yo, your career's over. And you know, that was great. She she was good. You know, she never achieved the top title, but we're counting her out, blah, blah. And I was reading this on all the forums and on social media, and I thought, who said I'm out? I'm not going out like this.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

And it was weird because I never ever thought this could be the end.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

And then again, it lit my fire to just say I'm going to show up. I didn't, you know, again, am I going to be what I was?

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

Am I going to be better? Probably not. But I damn sure had to try. And so, you know, that lit my fire to go, I will write my own ending.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

Starting Late, Never Too Late

SPEAKER_00

Not all of you people who don't know what I'm made of, who don't know what happened, who said I'm done, who said I cannot win a world championship title. And so from that moment on, it was like I was laser focused on coming back to the best of my ability, not even sure what it would be. And that was when four weeks out, I tore my ACL. So I went into the Arnold Classic nine months after breaking my neck with a torn ACL that I competed with. And that's when I won my first world championship title. Like, who would have thought? Now the world didn't know about my ACL. Yeah. Everyone knew about my uh neck because they thought, truthfully, they thought it was all BS what I was putting out on my own social media platforms.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

They thought these videos are old. What is she doing? She can't, there's no way she's competing. This is fake. And I thought, why would I put this out? I have to actually step on stage in March.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

So, and and I have to do these tricks that you guys are seeing me do.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

And of course, I thought, this is so mediocre. This is not what I want to present on stage. I'm going to be better than what I'm showing.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

Choosing Partners Who Elevate You

SPEAKER_00

And you guys still don't believe it. But then when I tore my ACL, there was this moment of maybe, maybe I can't do this. Maybe I'm pushing too hard. Maybe my grit is too strong and too powerful, and I need to pull back. But I, you know, for me, I said, I have to show up in whatever ability it is. The fact that I tore my ACL sucks. But my goal originally was I'm coming back after a broken neck to prove the to the world that I can. And for anyone in this situation to realize that life is not over, you've got to try. And I didn't know what would show up that day on stage. I didn't know if it was going to be last place, first place. And to be honest, I didn't care. I needed to show up. I needed to show all those people who doubted me that this can actually happen. And my mentality, my grit going into that show is why I won. I look back now, it was not my best routine in regards to skill performance, but there was something different. And to this day, the judges will say it's one of their favorite routines they've ever seen because they could feel my raw emotion on that stage. And I just got chills. I still can feel that moment of when the lights turned on and it was go time. And as soon as I stepped off, I didn't clearly know I won. In my heart, I knew I won. And I was so damn proud of myself. And then to actually have my name announced, it was like, how the hell did I do this? It's pure grit and it's belief in yourself and it's the mindset that you're just going to do the best that you can, no matter the outcome. You can't, you can't control the outcome. You can control your effort.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

And you can also control what you how you validate yourself on that effort.

SPEAKER_04

I wish people could realize that more. It's like something I'd love to get across here more. It's like no quitting means success. You know, it's like how many guys or girls or whoever had like failed, you know, and I mean your story's different, but like they failed in a business or something like that. And if that was the stopping point, that would be the end of the story. We'd never know who they were, right? Yeah. But that ends up being like a such a small thing in their entire road. And I'm always thinking about that silly analogy. You know, you see it from the side. It's like a cartoon, and it's this guy digging, you know, it's like, and he's in this tunnel, right? Right. And then you can see him, and on the other side of this little piece of dirt, he can't see it, we can, is the gold, right? And it's like, if you don't chip that one more thing away, you never know. You know, it's like I read a story in Egypt when I was there. This guy had dug for gold for like, you know, like 30 years, and it turns out it was one foot away, he stopped, right? Wow. Or like Matt Reif, you know, he was touring for 10 years. It was one Instagram video, uh, excuse me, TikTok video at year 10 that blasted him off. You know, it's like it's the no-quitting thing. Totally. Totally. How much different? I want to hit that point harder too. It's like, talk to me about you know the result now. Three-time Miss Olympia. All these things have changed your life, you know, and that's led to things in your business and your life and being able to positively impact people. Because you have that title, it's been such a tool for so many other things you get to. Absolutely, right? What if you hadn't done that? How much different would life be if you had quit at the first injury?

SPEAKER_00

Drastically different. I don't even know what life would have looked like, honestly, or where I would be or what I'd be doing.

SPEAKER_04

Do you feel like it would be a semblance of what your full potential should have been?

SPEAKER_00

Not at all.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah.

Gym Etiquette For Meeting People

SPEAKER_00

Not not even a chance. Yeah. Um, and you know, I think too, it's like there's we have pivotal moments in life. And for me, you know, becoming a single mom, divorced suddenly, and losing my mom to cancer all within a year, and um, I was in just such a very different space because that was not the life I envisioned.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

And in a way, I look back on that and think life was just kind of cush, but very mediocre.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

And had I not have to had to go through those hard, difficult times where I had to just dig deep and figure out who am I and what is my life gonna be now, I would never have achieved these things. You know, and it's it's awful to say, but I try to help some of my friends who are going through a hard time and saying, you know, you again, you can't control it, but this is an opportunity for you to choose what you're gonna do about it and what positive can come from it and take this time to learn about you. Yeah. And do you want to disappoint yourself? Because at the end of the day, we have to look at ourselves in the mirror and go, did we give it our all? Did we take the easy way out? Did we take the risks? Did we try to be legendary in whatever we are trying to achieve?

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

Or did we just stay mediocre? And how is that gonna feel?

SPEAKER_04

I mean, that's why it's important, like not to be morbid, to remember your deathbed. Yeah, I think about it all the time. It's like if I were to just like if Tyler wants to go have a farm right now and just like sit back and like get away from stress and things for a while, you know, forever. You know, but then when I really think about all the things I want to accomplish, I would be miserable, right? Totally. And so um we're gonna play a game for a second. Okay, we're gonna call it the grit game. All right, right, and like you and I are gonna attempt to give people like some steps forward as like starting out underdogs, that sort of stuff. Because grit is as much developed as anything else, you know. It's like you're not just handed it, you know? No. And if you are great, you know, but I don't think most people are. It's small steps over time. Totally. So give me some of your tools that you think like we're trying to help that underdog out there build some grit. What would you suggest?

SPEAKER_00

Do it for yourself.

SPEAKER_04

Okay.

SPEAKER_00

You know, I one of my biggest things is what's happening that in the hours that nobody's watching. Yeah. Like that is your true grit. Totally. And are you letting yourself down? Would you be embarrassed if people were watching, you know, fly on the wall? Would you be embarrassed? Because if so, then do something about it. And know that you're not gonna have good days all the day. Yeah, that you're gonna have bad. That means you're normal. Cool. Now, what do you do about it the next day so that you can make sure you don't feel that way again? And it's just those small steps and be realistic. You know, again, if I started out my career and I said, I'm gonna be Miss Olympia, how soon would I need to achieve that before I would feel like a failure if I hadn't? So you gotta set realistic things. For me, it was come up with a badass routine that's entertaining that I love.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

Raising Boys And Modern Masculinity

SPEAKER_00

And then hopefully the judges and the audience will too. Okay, so I achieved that. Now just shoot for some of the most competitive shows that you could compete in and see if you can place. You know, so it's these small steps, or you know, even sometimes with coaching a lot of these fitness athletes, try to learn a skill that that would be so cool. Well, have you tried it? No, there's no way I could do it. Let's break it down. Let's try it.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

Let's start with this step, and then within nine months to a year, maybe you'll get it. So it's small little steps that are realistic where you can go, all right, cool. Got that next, did that next.

SPEAKER_04

There's a litmus test for this, I believe, too. Yeah. And it's important to give yourself some grace, right? Totally. I haven't, I'm not very good at doing this, you know, but I think there's a litmus test for grit. And it's anytime you feel like you've wasted your potential, and that could be a Sunday, you know, and enjoy your Sunday once in a while. It's important to relax, but also realize you really have grit and there's a litmus test for it if you blew off all of Sunday and you're feeling guilty about it. I think that is like a test that is like, and I don't get me wrong, there is a torture to this too. Totally. Right? And so anytime you're allowing yourself a little bit of grace is like, hey, I'm not feeling that good today, right? You're gonna feel guilty about it. That is the downside of grit. But that's to know that's how to know if you're building it properly, too. Because anytime you're not progressing towards the things that you want, or you know, for me, it's been a lot around work and business. You know, I always, you know, what worked for me when I first started my business was outworking everybody, right? Right, yeah. It's like, how am I gonna compete with my my my uh competitor was a billionaire, right? Yeah, and I was starting with$4,000. How am I gonna compete with a building? Totally, right? Totally. It's like, well, every Friday night, I'll be working, right? While they're thinking about going to the bar or, you know, having a dinner, I won't do that. I didn't date for five years, I was celibate for five years. Yeah, you gotta realize all the things you'll give up, right? Totally. When you give up those things, that becomes grit, right? It's like it and then you have to find something you truly, truly want. Because if you're in the practice of a mission-purpose drive towards something amazing in life, grit comes. Yeah, right. Yep. But that's why I love the first steps into a gym, too. Yeah, you know, it's like for sure. That's the everybody fears it, you know. It's like 100%. I mean, you always fear walking in the door. Not, you know, I can't count the number of times that are like, Tyler, will you just go with me and show me how to use this stuff? I'm afraid of the stuff.

SPEAKER_00

Yes, intimidate everyone's staring at me.

Kind-Hearted Badasses

SPEAKER_04

Yeah, uh-huh. And the truth is nobody's staring at you. Exactly. My favorite people to look at are the ones that you can tell are just getting in there. They're being brave, they're probably way overweight or something like that. Or they're 90 years old and they're still moving around in there. You know, it's like, we're cheering for you. You know, people aren't judging for you, they're cheering for you. Right. You know, it's like I really, I really think the gym is a great um way to start building grit, right? Absolutely. Yeah. Facing challenges. And then get confidence. You get some confidence with feeling healthy, and you're gonna need a good machine to move maneuver this world, you know. Right. I would say every adventure needs a great avatar, right? Wow, yes. If Indiana Jones was overweight and, you know, like couldn't think and, you know, lethargic for meeting twinkies all the time, could he go and like do these amazing missions in the world? You know, and the answer is no, you know, and so yeah. I really like I think it's one of the biggest blessings that you can have is to have some grit in your life because it really helps you accomplish the end sort of thing.

SPEAKER_00

Oh, sure. And the thing is, like, it's it's crazy because people always think, oh, it's too late. It's never too late. And to talk about quitting, I mean, I got into this industry at 35.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

So everyone else is getting into this industry, especially in my division of fitness and doing these choreographed dance routines, bat flips, and like, come on, who's doing that at 35, starting with no experience?

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

Usually they're like later teens, early 20s, get in, they've been gymnasts, dancer, whatever. And, you know, I won my first Olympia at 41.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah.

On Arnold: Passion, Detail, And Stories

SPEAKER_00

Like, what? Yeah, but had I worried about, oh, it's too late. Yeah. Well, guess what? At some point, when you think it's too late, a year or two later, you're gonna go, gosh, wish I would have done it then. Wish I would have done it then. Bite the bullet, just do it now. I know 80-year-olds, there's two individually that I adore because they act like they're 30. Yeah, they will not let age define them. Yeah, and they are still, oh, I'm gonna open this business, I'm gonna shoot for this endurance goal. It's like in a way, everyone's first thought is do you realize how old you are? They won't say it out loud because they know that these two guys are like, yeah, and yeah. So it's never too late. It's never too late to develop grit. It's never too late to dare, it's never too late to take risks. Because at the end of the day, regret, it's a it's a horrible thing. So try.

SPEAKER_04

We have so much more control over this, too. It's absolutely totally like I'll think of fantasy stuff and relate it all the time. It's like, okay, you look up to um Stark, you know, Iron Man. Yeah. As like, wow, wouldn't that be cool to have that life? I believe you actually can, right? Right. I believe you actually can have that life because you can go become an engineer, you can go like study and like invent things, and that will lead to money. You can go be philanthropic in this world, you know, you can be in Deanna Jones, you know. It's like start starting studying what you're interested in, you know. Use the whip, you know. It's like I've never regretted any random skill I've started. And not only that, but you'll be thanking yourself in 20 years, you know. You know, like there's a couple things I'd love to thank my younger self for, and I'd love to hear yours too. It's like walking into the gym first time and the mixed martial arts gyms the first time, braving that as a young kid. I can't be like, if I could go back, it's one of the few things I would thank the younger self for. So thank you for starting starting that.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, absolutely.

SPEAKER_04

What are some of yours?

SPEAKER_00

Um, I gosh, taking the risks.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

And, you know, it's anything, whether it's, you know, the first time I ever decided I was going to do a competition or first business I started, you know, it's there's so much that goes into our brain, and a lot of it's from the outside noise of others that are creating the doubt, the fear, you can't do this, or have you thought about and they're trying to protect you.

SPEAKER_02

Yep.

SPEAKER_00

And being able to quiet that noise and just go, gosh, you know, in my gut, listening to your gut is so powerful to go, but I gotta try. I gotta try. And then if you can tell yourself if it doesn't work out, there's a big lesson that will then propel you into your next adventure. So it's okay. Because I feel like fear of failure is why so many people stop.

SPEAKER_04

It's crazy.

SPEAKER_00

I think for me, I'm so happy I took the risk and tried things that I had no experience doing. And in some situations, like you know, becoming a fitness pro, I had no background, I had no business trying that. But I did it because I thought, well, it kind of seems cool. Why not?

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

Somebody is going to win, somebody is going to achieve it, somebody is going to do these things. Why can't it be you? What if it was? Dare to dream. Because then when it happens, you talk about confidence to try your next goal or your next journey. So whether it's big or small, allow yourself to build confidence on top of confidence because that's where the grit comes from.

SPEAKER_04

I think, yeah, little wins, right? Yeah. Like like flexing that like fear muscle, you know, two ways in life to really build yourself is like you make sure your heart is in the right place. So, like, hey, if I'm gonna be Miss Olympia, what good great things could I do for the world, right? Right, you check that dot. And then is it scary? You know, and it's like the answer is yeah. And you're stretching this fear muscle, this grit muscle. You know, it's like, and the people that accomplish the most have a massive amount of grit.

SPEAKER_01

Right.

SPEAKER_00

But they also have a

SPEAKER_04

Massive amount of uh belief and curiosity that I can. Right. And what if, right?

Why Grit First, Then Moderation

SPEAKER_00

And the heck, I mean, you and I have talked. We have failed at a lot of things. Sure. Now, that's not the fun stuff to talk about. However, that is if you don't have failure, you really, I have a hard time believing you will be ultra successful without hitting failure, failure, success, failure, failure, failure, success. I mean, that's kind of the definition of entrepreneurship, anyways, but it's because you're daring to be different. So know that failure is coming, but that's okay. There's lessons that allow you to not fail in that same regard and makes you more successful when you try again or you try something different.

SPEAKER_04

It's it's such a gift. Failure is such a gift because it's not actually failure if you keep going, right? So you get to define it that way. It's like, oh, I failed, right? No, I didn't because I kept going and then I I've made a success, right? Sure. Totally. Then like failure gets deleted. So that's how you delete failure, right? Right. And the other thing is it's like if you want a big life, you're gonna have big problems. Yes, right? If you want a huge business, you're gonna have to have big problems coming at you every single day. Yeah. Right? If you want a big life, you know, so see what you wish for, right? Right, yeah. But then there has to be, and that's where I've always put this into mission purpose alignment, you know, you better have a big mission too, because you better make that pain worth it. Yeah. Because it is painful. Oh, I want to talk about support systems too. It was like I was listening to a little bit of that um guy that's everywhere right now, he's the divorce attorney, you know, to the stars and stuff. And he said something kind of eloquent and beautiful, and it was like, um, you're in your best state in a relationship. I'm paraphrasing, if you're helping your significant other get to them great their greatest self.

SPEAKER_00

Sure, absolutely.

Resources, Book, And Closing

SPEAKER_04

How have you found the right partners and people in your life to help you realize? Because we have a lot of people in our life that will doubt us, right? Oh, yeah. It was that that was my original inspiration. It's like teachers treated me awful. They all told me I was never gonna mount to nothing. I was going to jail, all these things. Right. You know, it's like, how do you find the people that allow you believe long past well, and then let me segue it this way too. I never believed I could bench six plates. Sure. In my mind. Right. Yeah. And then the old biker that I used to always talk to, you know, he goes up and he goes, You could do more than that. And we threw six plates on the thing. I went up so easy, it was ridiculous. Yeah. You know, it's like, I didn't believe it, right? Right. There was somebody that believed in me far past, and I was so unused to this. Right. You know, far past. And then like I was able to progress from there exponentially.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04

How do you find the people in your life that help you believe in yourself even more than you can?

SPEAKER_00

Well, you have to, you have to kind of set criteria for sure. And I've had some relationships with um significant others that again, it wasn't, it wasn't us uplifting each other. You get what you give, and that's something I firmly believe. Sure. So it goes both ways, but there's just some people who are in your life as a blessing and then others who are in your life as a lesson.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

And that's where I found it. You know, for whatever purpose, however I was brought together with someone, if there was um envy, intimidation, um, they kind of presented the negative sides of everything. It's like, no, that's not how I'm gonna achieve things, and that's not what I want to give to you either. Yeah. Because if I allowed myself to be in those situations, I saw that I withdrew who I was, and I love to give back. I love to be that encouraging person to help them believe. So, you know, it's not the right fit. And you just have to kind of have certain criteria. What are your not never gonna happen? You're um, gosh, what is the word I'm trying to think? Non-negotiables.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

You know, it's like these are things I want in someone that I'm going to give my energy, my love, my time to. And then when you find it, you just know, and that's where you know it's a good fit, where you're constantly trying to level up in your life, personally, professionally, looking deep within, reflective, giving to others. That's what makes me want to do more for myself, makes me want to give more to him. So it's give and take, but there's a lot of people out there who are intimidated by people who are driven, who have grit, who are next level in their mindset. And that's fine, but you can't stay there with those people because it will ultimately bring you down.

SPEAKER_04

You have to find people that will grow with you. There's uh there was without a doubt. Absolutely. And the more you grow, the more you'll lose people you thought you never would, right? Because it's like now you're in a new box. And I've I've become completely fascinated, as you guys know on the show, because I've been doing it a lot. Um, it's like I know how important the partner is in your life. I think it's the most important decision you'll ever make. I think it has everything to do with your happiness and success. I've really boiled that down. I've had Judge Lynn on here, uh, I've had T on here, your dear friend. You know, we've talked about like relationships and stuff. And I believe that the right person will help you get to like um places you never thought possible.

SPEAKER_00

For sure. And you can't settle.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

You know, you have to be okay being alone. Yes. You have to be okay with yourself.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

That's what invites the right person. Because all you're doing is wasting your time and you're settling if you realize in your gut things aren't right. And you know, when you're an adult, it's like your partner needs to be in line with you where you see a future with them. Otherwise, you're you are wasting your time and you're risking your happiness, you're risking your ambition and your drive. So you have to be okay being single. You have to be fine being alone, having quiet nights, weekends, weeks, whatever.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

And then when that person comes around, it's like this breath of fresh air because you haven't needed it, and it just has to complement your life.

SPEAKER_04

You know, the the heart is so stupid, right? And uh, and that's why I think there is like a litmus test for this too. I think you really have to just, and I I'm not saying like, I think this is where people are doing it wrong too. It's like the girls on the apps and stuff are like, he has to be six foot two and he has to make, you know, 400 grand a year and all this stuff. Oh, no. I think I think that's the wrong thought towards it. But I do think that you have to use a certain amount of logic to these are the things that I will only allow if you pass this gate of logical things to get into my life that you could potentially get into my heart. Right. Because once you get into the heart, we will make stupid choices all day long, right? So make the smart choices out here and make it towards like supportive people, people that believe in you truly, people that like want the best from you, your best self, aren't aren't uh um uh jealous when you level up and want to do things for yourself.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, absolutely.

SPEAKER_04

And so I'm kind of leading you into this too because I'd also like to give people, I think you're great advice for this. I think one of the better places to meet partners could be at the gym. I think very few people know how to do it, you know. It's like I'd love to hear your advice, you know, from being a beautiful woman at the gym, training people these days. It's a really big environment. Like, should people approach one another at the gym? And how they should they do it if they should?

SPEAKER_00

That's a great question. Um, because you know, again, it's uh people always relate gyms to being a meat market. And it's like, I'm just here trying to, you know, clear my mind, get my workout in, leave me alone. Yeah, I think if if there is true interest, it needs to be a slow roll method. Uh-huh. And it just needs to be, you know, are you talking to everyone? Yeah. Are you just beelining for this hot chick because you're like, whoa, okay.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

Now, if you're just that person that's encouraging, like you said, and you see someone that's older or someone that's maybe overweight and they they seem a little intimidated, are you encouraging and just trying to be that friendly gym goer? That's your best shot at being able to have a genuine conversation where you don't come across as a creep or weird or, you know, just influencing them where they now don't want to go to the gym because they're like, I don't want to run into that person.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

It's just casually creating the conversation, finding some common ground outside of the gym. Yeah. Because clearly you have that in common. Sure. That's the way you can be successful. I've seen so many relationships that have been cultivated through the gym. Yeah. Because you have a shared interest and something that is big that you both care about, you can do together. You just have to do it in the right way. You can't come up and say, hey, how you doing? You know, it's like, come on.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

And I do see that a lot too, especially if it's, you know, a hot chick in the gym and a guy, it's usually the guy going to the girl, let's be honest. But I also don't like the girls who come in wearing next to nothing and then get mad at the men because someone's staring at them. That's again, like you're you're inviting eyes. If you're wearing something that's a little seductive in the gym, then you have to be okay with people staring because that doesn't mean they're being creepy. I mean, I could get called out for like glancing and head turning, like, oh wow, that she looks great.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

That doesn't mean number one, I'm hitting on her. That doesn't mean I'm jealous of her, doesn't mean I'm judging her. Yeah. But my head turned, like, wow. Yeah. So there's that happy medium that people have to be open to social engagement at a gym. But if you're really trying to meet someone, just go about it the right way. And I always say you got to slow roll.

SPEAKER_04

So that's great. Advice, I feel like more directed towards men. Slow your roll. Right. And then like get familiar and then probably say a little hello here and there. Sure. You know, and then like lead up to earning it, right? Yeah, absolutely. Is there a advice from a women's angle different?

SPEAKER_00

I would say um it's kind of the same in a way, just because the the thing I will say, a lot of people in the gym don't wear their wedding rings.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

So you have to be conscious that they could be married, or even if they're not married, if they're in a relationship. So why not try to at least have a good gym community?

SPEAKER_02

Agreed.

SPEAKER_00

So if you find someone, whether you're attracted to them or not, and you're a female, go up to them. Maybe you like their style of training. What is it that interests you? Maybe it's that they lift a certain way, or it's their form that you're curious about. Create a dialogue. If you feel it's reciprocated, then you know it's okay. You're not crossing a line. Hell, for all you know, there are significant others in the gym somewhere going, what the hell? And then now there's drama. So it all goes back to kindness, um, being genuine in your approach, trying to create a communication dialogue that's genuine. But for girls too, I feel like they might be a little more intimidated. Guys seem to be more serious than girls in the gym and focused. And, you know, like you said, I feel like a lot of the clients, because I trained so many men and women throughout my career as a coach, guys tend to need the gym to work through stuff mentally, anger, whatnot.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

Girls are going in, they need to burn calories, they need to, you know, socialize with some of their friends. They're not so focused on sets, reps, you know, whatever. So it can be a little harder, I feel like, sometimes for a girl to go up to a guy, yeah, because it's not as common in the gym. But do it, do it genuinely. Sure. Um, and just again, know that, know your place. Don't be so forward direct. Um, you know, if you want to give a little subtle flirt just to see how it's received, great, go for it. Because it's a great place to meet somebody that in our adult life, it's like, where do you go? The gym, the bars. You know, sometimes that's like literally the only two places that it's pretty common for people our age.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

Well, if you're not a drinker, you don't want to meet your partner at a bar, where do you go? So a gym is a great place to find someone that at the end of the day, maybe they become your accountability partner at the gym. You work out together, you meet up, and you just engage a badass friend for life.

SPEAKER_04

Absolutely. I've met some great, great friends, lifelong friends at the gym. Um, one last thing I want to touch on before we're out of time today. You have two young boys. Wait, how old?

SPEAKER_00

Well, they're they're older now, so they're 17 and 19.

SPEAKER_04

Oh let me ask you this question. We're working on something on masculinity. Um, and uh so I'm curious, who do you tell them, besides their father, right? Who do you tell them is a good role model for them in this day and age?

SPEAKER_00

Truthfully, it's um business professionals, it's entrepreneurs, because a lot of being an entrepreneur myself, and I'm in some uh networking organizations where I've met some genuine people who are just authentic, yeah. Who share their struggles, their journeys. They are parents themselves. So, you know, my boys have seen me running multiple businesses and trying to juggle a ton. I've always been very open and real with my boys. We have, you know, I feel very fortunate that I have such a close relationship with my boys that we literally talk about anything and everything. Sometimes to the point where I'm like, I'm your mom, remember.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

But um, you know, it's it's really helping them understand it's okay to reach out to people and ask their story and to ask hard questions, to ask interesting questions. I have my two older brothers who I'm super close with, and so they have their uncles that they always can go to.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

Um, my ex, you know, we're great friends too, and he has an incredible family. So they're surrounded by amazing men who are open and don't close off. You know, they share their feelings, they share their emotions. But I also love that they get intrigued by entrepreneurs, you know, it's like they see success. And I want them to realize it doesn't come easy. It's never just handed to you. And all these people that you admire for what they are, who are more, you know, when it's outside of family, they're more superhero-ish.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

It's like, oh, it wasn't easy. Well, tell me about that. And they're intrigued. So my boys have some mentors that are in the business arena and they help them in regards to, you know, guiding where they want to go in their life, but also talk to them, you know, as if they're their own child or, you know, a family member. And then, of course, um, my boyfriend, he is incredible with them. And he's been such a good role model for them to talk about just tough situations, personal situations, goals, and he brings that different perspective that a mom can never, you know, give. There, there's some things I'll never understand. So I love having strong men in their life that from a variety of backgrounds. I think that's what's important is to have various people for your children, men or women. You know, if you have girls or boys, I think it goes both ways.

SPEAKER_04

The gym, and you're you're heavily involved with this, especially in the bodybuilding world. It's like we can have the overboard alpha male style. Oh sure, right? And it's like, so, and then we can have like uh a lot of people think men are weak in today's society, you know, and so there's like two polar opposites of the spectrum. Oh, yeah. What do you think is proper masculinity in this day and age? What do you want your boys to be?

SPEAKER_00

I well see, I personally love a man's man, someone who knows how to fix things, who's decisive, knows how to plan a date, um, know wants to go camping, hunting, you name it, right? I love that that masculine man, but they also need to have a heart that they're not afraid to show.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

And as a mom, I, you know, being a single mom, I kind of had to play both roles. And to be honest, I mean, I grew up with two older brothers. I am, I was a tomboy for so many years of my life. So I probably have a little bit more of the masculine side of being, you know, for a female than maybe some other women, but they got to see both of it. And like I said, I was, you know, when I dealt with struggles with business or sadness, my mom with cancer, they saw me as a broken, sad, hurting individual. But then they also saw me as Miss Olympia World Championship, traveling the world with Arnold Schwarzenegger, competing on crazy stages, running multiple businesses, having to, you know, lead meetings and be cutthroat on decisions. And so they've seen different sides for who I would love to see them be. I want them to have a good mix of it. You can't be this full alpha male without that empathy and care. And, you know, they both want to have kids of their own. That's where I see a good, well-rounded dad where they can teach them how to change a tire and um how to catch fish and and then also how to be vulnerable and show raw emotion and raise beautiful little girls. You know, how as a dad do you relate to a daughter if you are complete alpha male? So it's a hard balance. Um, and and you're right. They today's society, there's a lot of soft men, and it's, you know, there's if you're one extreme of the other, yeah, I don't think either is a good thing. Trying to find that soft, good, strong balance is good, which could be contradictory, but you gotta have a few different sides to your personality.

SPEAKER_04

I mean, the one of the premises of the show is, and our intention is to build more kind-hearted badasses. Yeah. Right. Absolutely. I don't think you can be a badass without being kind at the same time. But you need to be capable. Right. So um I have to ask, you know, um, you've spent some time around Arnold. Mm-hmm. Yeah, tell me something, uh, what's that's like, or do you have a story? I'm I'm really interested in Arnold, like any young man that grew up in like my generation, you know. Sure. Um, and then one of his new documentary came out and it's one of my favorite lines. I actually put it in my derailment box. Yeah, it's um uh something around being useful, right? Sure, yeah. And so like I'd love to hear some insights around Arnold.

SPEAKER_00

Gosh, well, so I was very fortunate. I mean, I traveled for um over five years with him, you know, not like, oh, we traveled on the same plane, but I you would get invited. So there was about eight to nine of us girls who would get invited to compete in Brazil, Australia, Spain, like all over the country at his events. It was just bodybuilding and fitness.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

And uh, you know, so you waited to see if you got invited. And at those events, there were certain opportunities where we would get to have private dinners, the athletes with him. Um, I got called to do some guest performances too, where there was an event we went to and it was three of us that randomly uh his assistant was like, Well, he's heading to dinner, you guys want to go? And we're like, Yeah, you kidding me? So I was fortunate to have very intimate meetups with him.

SPEAKER_01

Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_00

And this was during some times that there was some scandal. So to be honest, the first time I actually was like in a room with just there was, I think, eight or nine of us.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

I thought, gosh, what is he gonna be like?

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

Uber professional and so passionate about the sport.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

I remember there was one show, and it was my second year traveling with him, and it's I had not yet had the opportunity to have one of these um small meetups with him. And he came backstage after one of my performances and he said, I remember you. You're you're exciting, you're dynamic, you're so powerful. I'm like, wow. And he commented on one of my routines that I did the previous year, and he's like, and your quads, like he was down to details that I thought, how does he know this? But we had some incredible conversations. He knew athletes, their body parts, their best features, things he wanted them to improve on. He loved this, loves the sport. Yeah, his passion was so authentic. That's what surprised me the most. And then he loved to share stories like about his travels and his childhood. And it you could just sit there and listen. And incredible storyteller, but it was almost like watching a documentary on his life, but you're literally sitting two feet away.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

And crazy story, he actually set up my own my personal Snapchat. We were in Brazil and at one of the dinners, and he was Arnold knew Snapchat? Yeah, he was that's when it was he was doing it, and he was big on it.

SPEAKER_04

Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_00

And he said, Oh, get your Snapchat. And I'm like, Oh, I don't have it. He's like, What? So he's sitting there setting it up, and then he couldn't figure out something. His assistant comes and he goes, No, no, no, I'm gonna set up her Snapchat. So I actually had these photos, and I'm sitting there, like, oh my gosh, like Arnold is personally on my phone setting up my Snapchat account. It was just everything was so surreal, but it was like you're sitting next to, I wouldn't say your brother, but maybe like your boss, where you're just kind of like in awe of what they've achieved and excited to be able to be in that environment, and you just want to learn so much about them.

SPEAKER_04

Are you in Arnold Snap Buddies?

SPEAKER_00

Yes. I mean, I I think to be honest, I don't really use it. I did for a little bit. I just love the goofy. Filters. Of course, at that time my boys were young. And so I got home from that trip and I'm like, guys, and that's what I used it for for years. I my boys are definitely on Snapchat. Everyone is, it seems, these days. I don't use the platform much. So I think I still am, I'm sure.

SPEAKER_04

Part of our uh documentary we're working on on like um the state of masculinity and monitored society is like, I'd love to ask Arnold some questions on what a masculinity was and is now in his belief, right? And young men should look up to. So um I can't thank you enough for joining today.

SPEAKER_00

Oh, I've loved this. This is stuff. You and I, when we get together, yes, we'll start chatting. And it's like, oh my gosh, three hours later, what? Yeah.

SPEAKER_04

That's why, you know, it's like, and I'm not afraid to use my friends as a tool, right? You know, to help. And I'm like, I know there's so many different directions we can go with this conversation. And my goal is always, like I said, like I have a belief in the person that we're doing this for, to the point where it's like, I get excited in the morning. I was thinking this morning, I'm like, this is gonna be so good for them. This is gonna be so helpful, you know. It's like, and like it's been a little couple, you know, months now that I've been thinking about what's the best angle and reading your book and that sort of stuff. And I was like, grit, you know? And originally my intention was like, let's help them to teach how to get off of grit because it can be dangerous at some point, too.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, it but definitely can.

SPEAKER_04

That's gonna help me, you, and a very small percentage of the world. Right. What we need to teach people is how to have grit, right? Absolutely. I'll do an episode at 1045 that will worry about how to ease off grit because that's what you need it for everything you want to accomplish in life. You're such an amazing inspiration. The other thing is I wanted to show my way is not always the right way, right? You know, I I use negative energy, I use it very positively, I burn through it to do good things, right? But I wanted to show them the other side too. You don't have to be negative, you don't have to be angry. You you know, it's like, and you've used that precisely to I haven't been Mr. Olympia, right? You know, yeah, and like so maybe if I'd use some positive energy, I would have.

SPEAKER_00

We all have our own way as long as you're moving forward, you know, you're doing something right.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah, but uh thanks so much for joining us. Um, you can find Whitney on social media. I think it's just Whitney Jones Instagram, right?

SPEAKER_00

It's Whitney Um Jones underscore IFBB pro.

SPEAKER_04

Okay, there you go. And she does all kinds of funny stuff there. She's got a book, When Broken. Yeah. Great book, all about grit. And it has really cool sections in it where you can kind of like action out some of the details and that sort of stuff.

SPEAKER_00

Oh, yeah, all accountability, right? You don't, you're not gonna achieve things just by thinking. You've got to have an action plan.

SPEAKER_04

You're one of my favorite people, and it's like you're just such a kind-hearted badass, and you're such a good message for people out there. And I I hope the audience got a lot out of it today. And uh, please do this, folks, because like you can see the other side of this. What if Whitney had quit? You know, it's like yeah, and like I thank myself for like starting things, you know, that I was afraid of, you know, it's like, and the second now I start to like think about something I'm at least in interested in the least bit, yeah, I just do it, right?

SPEAKER_00

Pay attention to those butterflies. Yeah, if that kind of gives you that fear and that excitement, go all in. Yeah, there's a reason your body reacted that way. Totally. So figure out why.

SPEAKER_04

If you fear it, you gotta do it. Yeah, that's how you grow it.

SPEAKER_00

Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_04

All right, it's just like a muscle, you know.

SPEAKER_00

Exactly. You gotta wear it.

SPEAKER_04

So uh thanks for joining us, folks. See you again next time on underdogs. Hello, and welcome to underdogs, bootstrappers, and game changers. This is for those of you that are starting with nothing and using business to change their stars, motivating people who disrupted industry standards. This is the real side of business. This isn't Shark Tank. My aim with this podcast is to take away some of the imaginary roadblocks that are out there. I want to help more underdogs because underdogs are truly who changed the world. This is part of our Content for Good initiative. All the proceeds from the monetization of this podcast will go to charitable causes. It's for the person that wants it.

Contributor

Tyler Copenhaver-Heath

Host