MONEY DOESN’T CHANGE PEOPLE — IT JUST EXPOSES THEM!

What’s life really like inside the world of private jets, billionaires, and extreme luxury? 

Melissa Sue Methvin, a former private flight attendant, takes us behind the scenes of extreme wealth. She shares how power and money reveal people’s true colors, why boundaries are essential, and what life looks like beyond the glamour.

She also talks about the pressures shaping the next generation: social media, luxury obsession, and why building wealth with heart matters. Melissa opens up about burnout in dentistry, losing her husband to suicide, and the lessons she’s learned about resilience, mental health, and faith.

For anyone who wants a grounded, honest look at success, purpose, and life with integrity, this episode delivers.

Subscribe, share, and leave a review sharing what success means to you.

Transcript

Why Underdogs Matter

SPEAKER_00 0:02

Hello and welcome to Underdogs, Bootstrappers, and Game Changers. This is for those of you that are starting with nothing and using business to change their stars. Motivating people who disrupted industry standards. This is the real side of business. This isn't Shark Tank. My aim with this podcast is to take away some of the imaginary Problocks that are out there. I want to help more underdogs because underdogs are truly to change the world. This is part of our Content for Good initiative. All the proceeds from the monetization of this podcast will go to charitable causes. It's for the person that wants it. Hello and welcome to another episode of Underdogs, Bootstrappers, and Game Changers. Once again in the studio, I've got a great friend, Melissa Sue. How are you doing?

SPEAKER_03 0:52

I'm doing fantastic. I love to be sitting right here because behind the cameras, we're always chatting.

SPEAKER_00 0:58

We are. And that's why it's like we're having a conversation today that I wanted to peel out into something that's great for the audience. Really, it's funny, we've known each other quite a long time. And I was telling the team, I'm like, and you think you know somebody. You know, we started talking about like wealth, right? And wealth impact and imagery and you know, things like that on society. Um, and where I really want to go with an episode today is you've had some interesting run-ins. You were, you met Julene, I don't even know how to say it, Maxwell from the Epstein.

SPEAKER_03 1:27

She's Slan Maswell.

SPEAKER_00 1:28

Yeah. You were uh a private flight attendant and like uh former presidents and big uh Yeah, President Clinton and the Secret Service.

SPEAKER_03 1:36

We flew around uh globally around the world. This is all in my early 20s, you know, so a couple decades.

SPEAKER_00 1:43

Yeah. You know, it's and it's really interesting because I believe that society um should excuse me, I believe that wealth um and success comes with obligation. And, you know, we were both exposed um, you know, in our younger years, myself through country clubs and bartending and things like that in college, and you through um, you know, private flight attending around some of the richest people in the world. Uh, and I really want to get the point home, um, especially with the way that society is looking at wealth and success these days, that let's make good people get to success. And it feels like we're getting an unbalanced amount of uh of poor moral people in positions of power and success. And you know, it's usually not something I want to touch on, but I like I really for my underdogs, I want them to we need more good people making it, you know, is what it comes down to.

SPEAKER_03 2:35

Yes, I I want that too. And that's why for me, the more it builds success, the more it's so I could give back. Yes, right, and use it for good. Whereas I think we've seen it where we've seen some people with just a lot of money and how corrupt it was.

SPEAKER_02 2:52

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 2:52

And where we idealize, you know, as a young girl, I know you idealize, like, wow, to own a private jet, to fly around the world is like, that's it. You want to make it to that.

SPEAKER_00 3:04

Yeah. I mean, young men, the same thing. We see the Ferrari guy, and like every young man thinks he needs a bunch of money to get a girlfriend, you know, and it's like it's crazy. It has more to do with um having a mission, you know, like having something like correct me if I'm wrong. Women mostly want to see that you have some sort of plan and work ethic.

SPEAKER_03 3:21

Yes, yes. You know, it's like some ambition, you know.

SPEAKER_00 3:24

Uh yeah. And like, and like a lot of women, you know, like, and I don't want to speak for them, but I around a lot of them, you know, it's like uh it's less to do with what you have and where you're going and the type of person that you are.

SPEAKER_03 3:37

Yeah, generous. I mean, for me, I think as a woman, I was never into, I could just see right through the egotistic man where, yeah, they could be really good looking, they have the career, they're nicely dressed, they have all the money, but I could see in their heart that wasn't being used for good.

SPEAKER_02 3:55

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 3:55

And I'd rather, way rather have the guy who has the good heart still has the ambition, may not be has what people perceive as the major model type, you know? And but that for me was so attractive because they're generous uh with their money, uh, with their heart, with their time, and where they're going. And I think that for me as a young woman, that's what I was more attracted to. And I almost was for me to see a man uh using his power of money and good looks to not use it for good, for me right away, he was ugly. Like he was just I'm turned off by that.

SPEAKER_00 4:40

It's amazing how ugly people can get, you know, so quickly when you learn that they're an awful person or you know, like uh when you see their heart, so to speak. It's like it doesn't matter what the billboard says for like the beauty as a whole, but people can get ugly really quickly.

SPEAKER_03 4:55

Yeah, absolutely.

Inside The Ultra Wealthy World

SPEAKER_00 4:56

You know, and seeing you and I, I believe are really fortunate to have seen the like um big side of like success, or at least what the world I my my definition of success is completely different than the world's. I use this definition of success because that's what most people picture, right? You know, but that's actually not my definition of success and hasn't been for 15 years, you know. So um, but most people's, right? And like you were around a lot of wealthy people, private planes, you got to be on another level.

SPEAKER_03 5:23

It's a whole different that's I kept on saying that to people. I'm like, what I see on a daily basis is okay, a limousine bringing you to your private aircraft. Then on a private aircraft, we cater, we you land at private airports. I've landed at the Dubai Royal Airport where there's a red carpet, people meeting you. Sometimes there's a Blackhawk helicopter landing for you to bring you to another destination. I mean, you're going just for a weekend trip to a wedding in India, a nine-day wedding. And then I see an entire fleet of private jets. Uh, one time, actually, at the Dubai uh airport, where the Royal Airport, I kept on asking the workers there. I was like, oh my gosh, there was a triple seven, you know, the double deckers.

SPEAKER_02 6:07

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 6:08

I'm like, I want to go see in there.

SPEAKER_02 6:10

Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_03 6:11

I mean, all gold gold plated. There's hot tubs, there's, you know, it's just a whole different level of money. I mean, there's wealthy, and then there's the uber wealthy. And that for me, what I saw, what it did, it almost made me really sad at times.

SPEAKER_01 6:31

Yes.

SPEAKER_03 6:32

Because I would truly see these men, they would share sometimes, oh, the pictures of their wives and kids. And but then what I saw on the other side sometimes was like, then there's drugs, and then there's escorts, and then there's this. And I'm like, wow.

SPEAKER_00 6:49

Yep.

SPEAKER_03 6:50

That was so corrupt.

Power, Boundaries, And Being “The Help”

SPEAKER_00 6:52

You know, I saw the same thing working at the country club. These are the pillars of society, right? And they'd have these like events and things like that, and they would order in strippers. And these are like old men, you know, like like some of them younger, 40s, 50s, but 60s, 70s, and they're throwing rolls at the strippers and like getting in insanely drunk, like a bunch of frat boys, you know, with like a bigger wallet. And it really grossed me out. It was actually one of the turning points in my own life because I had this illusion growing up a poor kid that you had to have like something different. You know, it was like something different that I didn't have that got you to success. That brought me to it, it was such a gift because it brought me to the normalcy of successful people. And a lot of times you find out their dad was part of the country club and their dad's dad was. So then it was a lot of like inherited wealth and that sort of stuff handed down. And I got such a chip on my shoulder about like the way they treated me too. And I'm curious, it's like I was treated very poorly, you know, at the country club. Like every once in a while you'd get somebody that was decent. But you know what's funny is usually they come in decent and then they like they would change, they would get like more mean to you. They treat you like the help. I had one people person even call me the help when I worked there. So curious your experience, especially as a beautiful woman.

SPEAKER_03 8:06

So yeah, I tell you, my experience, I was very grateful that my boss, who owned the aircraft, was so grounded, but I I truly feel because he was self-made and he was always rooted in keeping um seeing his friends and grounded in who he was, and he did a lot of service. And I think that's why we had President Clinton foundation on because he donated his aircraft for what he was doing, and we traveled the world uh to do things of service. And at a time, his wife was also doing humanitarian work in Africa, but so I was treated like we were one of them and not the help. And in fact, we were sometimes invited out for dinners or tours, and and so I really loved that. But I would land at all the private airports, yeah, and I would uh have conversations with other flight attendants, and they would tell me that they were treated like the help. Like it was just so different. And the only time I actually experienced that, it was interesting, we were actually uh celebrating Prince Clinton's 60th birthday. So we're shuttling people to his birthday party. And then I had a whole bunch of celebrities on. So I met lots of celebrities, and that's where I was treated like the help.

SPEAKER_00 9:24

Interesting.

SPEAKER_03 9:24

So certain celebrities that came on, all of a sudden I'm like, oh, welcome aboard, doing my thing, you know, and offering a drink because this is not their aircraft they're coming on. We're we're shuttling them with this beautiful that he was a huge aircraft. I mean, it had a bedroom, shower, you know, beautiful aircraft that we were on. And they're like, oh no, no, you don't, you don't talk to him, you talk only to his assistant. And I'm like, oh, I wasn't used to that, you know? And I'm like, okay, this is different energy. This is different. And so that's where I did experience that, where I was more treated like the help. You know, I'm less than.

SPEAKER_02 10:02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 10:03

But I and I did hear that from a lot of other flight attendants working on other planes. Like it was so strict, it was and they were the help. Uh, but I was grateful that I was never treated that way with my boss per se. And uh so I am really grateful for those experiences. I know we were also when I was invited out for dinner, though, I always made sure, because in my early 20s, I could have been easily always persuaded, you know, on dates, with the older men's that would come on there. I definitely, you know, there were there was people, you know, definitely doing that. But I knew I would never want to put myself in that situation going into these things alone with an older man. So I for more out of curiosity, when I was, oh, maybe invited to a party, I was like, well, I only go if I have the two pilots with me. Yeah. And then they were like, oh no, you know, but I just knew to keep it always professional too, and not to get lost in like, oh, I'm really curious. I want to go. Because then I could put myself, yeah, because one time I was invited, we've had landed in the BVI, and the helicopter was waiting for them to bring them to this other island. And who knows if it was the Epstein, I don't know. Yeah. Right. And I was so tempted just out of curiosity, but I knew better if I don't put myself in that situation when all of a sudden I'm by myself, yeah, trapped on this island, yeah. What kind of situation I might put myself in. So I always so had to be staying grounded and not uh in lost in all the glamour.

SPEAKER_02 11:39

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 11:40

You know, the excitement of wanting to experience it. I had to really stay grounded in who I was too as a woman and how to stay professional.

SPEAKER_00 11:50

It's so hard because um beautiful young women have a lot of things thrown at them, right? And it's like, and you never know who's intentioned or not very well intentioned, and you know, uh the I one story I wanted to get to with you is like you mentioned going to Thailand, you know, and then sitting next to Juline Maxwell.

SPEAKER_03 12:10

It's a Ghislene. It's a French name.

SPEAKER_00 12:12

Yeah, I don't say it very well.

SPEAKER_03 12:14

Gislaine Maxwell, yeah.

The Surreal Maxwell Encounter

SPEAKER_00 12:16

Yeah, could you tell me a little bit more about that experience?

SPEAKER_03 12:18

Yeah, that is still so surreal because I didn't know who she was, but when the whole Epstein story coming it came out, I was like, oh my goodness. Like I I met this woman. I flew with her. We um she wasn't on aircraft, but she had was following with another private jet. And we had gone out for a dinner in Thailand and she sat beside me. And I do remember recall her saying, Hey, I'll take some pictures, do you mine, and I'll send them to you. Yeah. I was like, Oh, yeah, great. You know, we had toured the next day. We had flown to Cambodia and we t toured all the temples with um President Clinton and the Secret Service, and then she was there as well.

SPEAKER_02 13:01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 13:02

And I now when I heard about the Epstein story, where she would be the lady who takes pictures, bring backs pictures, and I'm like, wow, yeah, this could have been, you know, maybe a part of that whole story.

SPEAKER_00 13:17

Do you think she was kind of like nefariously acting in that? Like, was she trying to Yeah?

SPEAKER_03 13:21

I mean, she seemed really nice. I would have never guessed, like, I'm usually I'm pretty intuitive. I did really didn't feel anything off from her and just like, oh, I want to take pictures. It seemed very normal. And so I was really caught off guard when I saw that story.

SPEAKER_02 13:37

No kidding.

SPEAKER_03 13:38

Because I couldn't believe how close, you know, I worked with one of my best friend as a flight attendant. She was there as well that day. And I was like, wow, I can't believe it that, you know, we were with this woman who's doing such awful things to young women, and we were young women at the time.

SPEAKER_00 13:53

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 13:54

And how we didn't get integrated into that.

SPEAKER_00 13:56

Um well, it sounds like a lot of you've you've been smart with it. Like uh Kim Alex is a friend of mine, she's one of the most covered supermodels of all time. And she talks all the time about how they would like try to pressure her into doing topless things or like put her next door to the room of the editor of the magazine or not get the cover and things sort of. They put her in all these different situations and she'd put her foot down and say no. And I think that's hard for a lot of women to do. You know, I can't even imagine. I'm not even sure. Oh, trust me.

SPEAKER_03 14:25

I there are like it's like, oh, you had the, you know, the the angel and the devil looks like sitting when you're being given such a big opportunity. I still remember like it was yesterday. Yeah. When I was offered to go to this private island party and hop on this helicopter with everyone, but I was like, no.

SPEAKER_00 14:42

And see who who knows what it would happen, you know? I don't know. Especially with everything coming out.

SPEAKER_03 14:46

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 14:47

You know, it's and this this isn't, we're not diving into politics and conspiracy. And what Mel and I want for you from this conversation is we really want you to see, we really want more successful people making it that want to do some good in the world. Yes. You know, I think, and I were I used to worry so much. And how do you feel about this? It's like, I at first thought you had to be an asshole to be successful in business. That was what the world had taught me. I was like 20 years old. I'm like, no way I can be a business owner because those guys have to be assholes. I really thought that, you know, and it's like, I thought you had to be an asshole to be successful, you know, and it's not the case at all. You know, and we love to say, oh, I treat the um the employee like the CEO, or I put treat the janitor and the CEO the same. That's not my experience for the most part. People love to say that, you know, but um to that point, it's like I find that a lot of people that get to success, the money empowers them either to be really good or really bad.

unknown 15:45

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 15:45

I actually, good example of that. I have some neighbors, they are very successful, but they're using it for so much good. Yeah. I mean, they are such a beautiful family of like, yes, I could see why God gifted them all of this because they keep utilizing it to give back to community. I mean, even they own places all over. They're always open house. Yeah. People can use it, but they give back so much more to the community in so many ways. And they've adopted you know, children of four children of them, uh, you know, four children to give them a better life. And and they just do so much good. And I think we need more people like that to have money of power to use it for good. And I and that's really why for me, I'm like, I'm comfortable.

SPEAKER_02 16:37

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 16:38

But if I do get more, I do want, you know, dreams of opening up healing fill facilities for families, yeah, where the whole family can come and integration. But yeah, it it costs all money, right?

SPEAKER_00 16:51

And I mean, money's a tool and it's a productive tool. And like, I feel like too often it's in the wrong hands. That's actually a big reason I started all this stuff. It's like I wanted more good-hearted people making it. You know, it's like, because people do say like money accentuates whatever. If you're a good person, it makes you an even better person because you do a lot with it. If you're a bad person, it makes you even a worse person because they start exploring their perversions, right? And they get dis desensitized to it because once you can have anything you want, then they go further, you know? It's like we don't need people like that making it.

SPEAKER_01 17:23

Yes.

Social Media’s Broken Success Script

SPEAKER_00 17:23

You know, we need more good-hearted people making it. And so, like, I wanted to lift the curtain today around that sort of stuff. You and I talk a lot about like success and impact, you know, and that's one thing I like absolutely adore about all of our conversations. It's like getting people to realize that it's like we were talking earlier, and I'm like, you know, some days I have that like feeling it's like, I don't want to play anymore, you know, I want I want to kind of take my ball and go home because the world feels so frustrating with the messaging it's putting out there, with what we say is happiness and like it's not at all, you know. It's like if you just have the Ferrari and the OnlyFans girlfriend, and you know, that's what they're telling young men these days, you know? And young women, it's kind of like, hey, find yourself the sugar daddy, you know? They're saying marry first time for his money and the second time for love.

SPEAKER_03 18:08

It's like because money is security, right? Women want security. But what what I found women who marry just for that security, just a life of kind of a loneliness and misery and no boundaries. And so it was kind of a lonely, sad marriage, right? And so, yeah, if we can just teach young men, young women that to truly love themselves and and seek out their own power to make money and use it for good and find somebody else as well as a partner that is wants to do the same. You know, don't get blinded by all the accolades that someone might have, or that Ferrari or that fancy car or that private jet, you know. And I think a lot of us we we glorify it and uh just make sure we're not giving that the power.

SPEAKER_00 19:02

Well, and then and help me here too. It's like so many people that seemingly have everything, you know, are the most miserable people I've ever met. Oh, yes. Right? They're the ones like getting to the country club, showering off their mistress, you know, it's like while trying to play in family guy when no when everybody's looking, you know.

SPEAKER_03 19:18

So we saw that a lot, and that made me so sad. Yeah. Almost made me angry at men. I'm like, are they all like this?

SPEAKER_00 19:25

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 19:27

Like I had a hard time trusting men, you know, seeing that.

SPEAKER_00 19:30

Yeah, it well, and it it's like it's gotten even worse, I think. I was watching that Manosphere documentary on Netflix, and it's about like basically these 24-year-old-ish males that are alpha males that are like um they're racist, they're homophobic, they're telling you to like basically your woman should do everything for you. They're allowed to sleep with as many people as you they want, but you're not allowed to sleep with anybody, you know. And so, like, I'm seeing that side, and then they you find out they don't even believe it. It's just a griff to get you to give them money, you know? And then the other side is like I turned on who's your daddy, and I saw some clips the other day, and this woman was talking, and I kid you not, it was making me blush. You know, it was like it was like so pornographic speech that if you closed your eyes, like it would be rated XXX. And then I find out she's 24 years old. And I'm like, how the heck does she even know this stuff at 24 years old? You know, it's like so like inundated these kids these days, it's like it's gotten worse than even, you know, when we were kids, you know, like we had the perception, but we weren't getting hit the way they are.

SPEAKER_03 20:28

Yeah, yeah. To be careful what we're trying to steward for our kids, what to they kind of look up to, right? My kids joke around too, because they know I've worked on private jets. So my daughter's like, one day, well, let's have one. I'm like, okay, or my son's really into cars, oh, the Bugatti. Yeah, but I'm always like, okay, it's okay to like want these things, but remember, this will not bring you the ultimate happiness. I saw it. People who had it all, had the Bugatti, had the airplane, there was still unhappiness, there was still divorce, there was still numbing, you know. So you really have to find it first, you know, and uh really find just waking up seeing the sunrise. Like for me, right now, seeing the sunrise and hearing the little birds outside, that's what brings me happiness. And even I'm happy, I'm happy right now. And like you were saying, I'm I'm ready to just be like, oh, stop podcasting, stop doing this, because I'm I'm good, I'm at peace. But I I'm driven to continue because we need more positive messages, we need more to spread that for generations. I am truly trying to change generational patterns of what you know my the father of my kids was taught from a young age, you know, that yeah, money, power, just work, work, work, and that this this will bring you a happiness. If I just provide for my family, they'll be happy. No, connection.

SPEAKER_02 22:01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 22:02

Connection and um slowness and and so it I think it's lost. So we know almost need to break down break down the old structure and rebuild one because it's not working. It's not working for families, it's not working for how many divorce now, you know. So it's there's a disconnection.

Picture Perfect Life And Hidden Pain

SPEAKER_00 22:21

And you had like the picture perfect life as far as society is.

SPEAKER_03 22:29

Scott, Melissa, boy, and then we have a boy and a girl, the dental practice, beautiful home, beautiful. We travel, all the things. Yes. I almost called my first book picture perfect.

SPEAKER_02 22:38

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 22:39

You know, but there's the truth behind the smiles because it just aligned us in dentistry. But because yes, the family pictures, the one that we use for all our postcards for a dental office, we were picture perfect.

SPEAKER_02 22:52

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 22:53

But God was I living a lonely life there. That's the truth.

SPEAKER_00 22:58

You know, it's so crazy. So your ex-husband, well, husband, I don't even so I know.

SPEAKER_03 23:03

I know it's because he he's passed, you know, died, but it's been four years now, which is last week was four years' anniversary. Yeah. Died by suicide.

SPEAKER_00 23:12

And yeah, it's um yeah, he so he in so he's six foot four, right? If I remember right. And then like um was an athlete, right?

SPEAKER_03 23:23

Yeah, I mean, he he I I don't even consider an athlete. He did uh jujitsu. Yeah, you know, he did love.

SPEAKER_00 23:28

Oh good-looking guy, right? Dental degree.

SPEAKER_03 23:32

When I first met him, I mean you know, we were both in early 20s. I mean, and he was the dentist of the town. He was called uh Dr. Scotty to Hottie, you know, everybody, all the women in town knew of him, you know.

SPEAKER_00 23:43

But and then, like, so and that's the like I think that's uh like a point that I want to get across. He, in essence, had everything. And then he has you, he meets you, you guys get married. I know you're you're a wonderful person, you know. Like, I can't say enough good things about you and your heart. You have two amazing kids. He's still not happy. He's on top of the world as far as like what the picture is.

SPEAKER_03 24:03

Yeah, successful dental practice. We have had one of the most beautiful properties in Alaska, you know, in Wasilla. Yeah, and still there was an emptiness because he never went and dug into the past pains. You know, we often, no matter what, we we all have different upbringings, but him, it's still a hurt that he was trying to numb.

SPEAKER_00 24:24

You know, I think a lot of times, so I watch like celebrities in a different way, and especially comedians. I actually think comedians are like some of the most intelligent people on the planet. I think to be funny, you have to be intelligent. And you watch them, right? And like a Chris Farley or something like that. And it's like, okay, the world tells you if you have women, right? Significant sexy other, you know, it's like, and if you have the car and the house and the fame, you know, it's like these are happiness. And you watch these people that get there and they're the most miserable they ever been. Look at Jim Carrey, you know, it's like, and I think it it lies somewhere around of that's what the world is promising us. Get this stuff and you will be happy, right? And it's like your husband was somebody that had all of the stuff and still couldn't find an amazing woman, had an amazing family, you know, still couldn't find happiness. And that's where like people chase this thing, you know, that's like not real, you know. They need to chase connection, yeah, right? They need to chase faith, they need to chase mission, right? And like, don't get me wrong, none of this means be poor either. You know, it's like I that's never been my message, even though people think that of me sometimes. It's like, I like having a truck that starts. I don't like I don't want to worry my where my next meal comes from. I like having resources to do good things for other people and not have to think about it, you know? It's like, but it's not everything.

SPEAKER_03 25:50

I I do. I I feel that you you can if you don't work on your past hurts, the past wounds, yeah, it'll keep showing up in your life, and then it you won't find the happiness of of all the achievements that you have. It'll never be enough.

SPEAKER_02 26:06

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 26:06

And it'll there'll be that void, and you then you'll want to numb that void. And that's what I saw in my own husband, kept on numbing and avoiding that void, and it kept on happening. These hurts of a for in his mind, oftentimes in divorce, parents will kind of talk bad about the other parent, and that is so damaging at children. And I do see that was probably what happened for Scott when his parents went through divorce, and then so it made him look at his mom like she's the bad one. And it caused almost like this abandonment, like, oh, my mom left us and this and that. And he created this own story in his mind about his mother, and it really hurt him. Yeah, and it really got him to shut her out of my life. If I just shut her out, it'll be fine. Yeah, I'll avoid it. Yeah, well, no, but I saw it kind keep coming back, coming back. That avoidance, then okay, then he had a hurt with his brother.

SPEAKER_02 27:07

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 27:07

You know, his brother, you know, then there was a hurt there. It just, I feel life will keep uh kind of spiraling things in your life until you deal with it properly. Uh, and then of course his dad got terminally ill and he was really close with him, and then that was just, oh, if I lose him now, I have nobody else. And he truly felt alone. But he wouldn't, uh what I was gonna say, even though he had it all, he couldn't see the love around him. He had a lot of friends that loved him, admired him. I mean, when he passed, there's so many people. I was Scott's best friend, I was Scott's best friend. Everybody loved him. He was very charismatic and generous too, and that's what I loved about him. But because he didn't work on any of his old past wounds and wouldn't see it, no matter what he tried to fill his life with, yeah, he didn't feel that internal um wound that he had.

SPEAKER_00 27:59

You know, I love um how much you're doing for like helping people understand like suicide prevention and like um you work a lot in this, especially around professionals, you know. And that's actually such a key point of like this whole conversation because these professionals are the people that seemingly have everything, you know, and like uh do you happen to know the stat for like suicides around dental and professionals?

SPEAKER_03 28:21

Oh, dental and professionals. Well, it is kind of a say 80% of dentists have gone through some sort of burnout or uh chronic back pain. I don't know how many of them have gotten uh the neck fuse, uh back pain, and an opioid. So that's like 80%.

SPEAKER_00 28:41

Crazy.

SPEAKER_03 28:42

80% of them. And then that's why it is on the top end of suicide, right? And so I got so curious as to why, because you know what interesting happened after my husband passed. It was such a ripple, a shock in a dental community. Yeah, but then something interesting happened. Then dentists started reaching out to me and then sharing their stories, sharing their close call.

SPEAKER_02 29:07

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 29:08

And now, still to this day, I probably get a text message or a call that we've lost another dentist to suicide. Wow. So it's it's it's there. And I I think I'm starting to get to the whys. And because I'm getting so many dentists on as a guest.

SPEAKER_02 29:27

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 29:28

I'm kind of figuring out, you know, their environment. So this is where I'm being called to speak and bring awareness as to why in that profession, because there's other very stressful professions. So why dentistry?

SPEAKER_00 29:41

And um, so why do you think what's your current hypothesis?

SPEAKER_03 29:46

Okay, well, I do feel they go into dental school, yeah, and it's it's it's hard. Yeah. It's gonna be extremely hard as heavyweight, and they're like, okay, they finally graduate, and they're like, whoo, relieved. Yeah, perfect, I'll hit the ground. Oh, the world's my oyster, yeah. Yes, and I'll start making the income. But no, you start off and you have half a million dollar in debt. Yeah. And then not only that, I I know for a fact, because we had a lot of um associates that were right out of school. Yeah, Scott had to loan them loans because insurance-wise, you don't get paid right away as a dentist. It takes, it takes months. Yeah. And to build the clientele now, you have to build trust with your patient. So you got to build, you know, production. And it becomes such a production thing, yeah. And not so much treating the patient as a whole. So then there's just that constant pressure and precision. They they are all very much as a dentist perfectionists. And it's never enough. And so you work in millimeters. So there's a constant pressure and a perfectionism, and they think uh it's never good enough.

SPEAKER_02 30:56

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 30:56

Right. And also environmental. So I do speak about environmental. You work close uh quarters with patients with a lot of fear and anxiety.

SPEAKER_02 31:05

Sure.

SPEAKER_03 31:06

And I know this science, it's physiology, that you take that on.

SPEAKER_02 31:11

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 31:11

As a healer, you take that on on a regular basis, and that causes inflammation because it causes stress in your body.

SPEAKER_00 31:18

Especially probably the better person you are, I would assume, because it's like you take that empathy on even more.

SPEAKER_03 31:24

Oh, people will fly to come see Scott because he was like he could remove that pain. It can really hold space for them. But over time, if you're always in that state, the whole office is in that fight and flight. Like my husband had, I don't see that regularly. I still work as a dental hygienist. He had three columns of patients. So he would see about you know 40, 50 patients a day plus three hygiene. So you it's like, go, go, go, go, go, go. You barely have time to eat. Think so you're in constant state of fight and flight. Well, what happens when you're in constant state of fight and flight? Your blood vessels constrict, yeah, the oxygen flow to your body, to your cells decreases, but only that in your gut, what happens is that you're not taking your body kind of stops digesting and all that and taking on nutrients.

SPEAKER_02 32:11

Yep.

SPEAKER_03 32:12

So if you're in a constant state, you work five, six days a week.

SPEAKER_02 32:16

Yep.

SPEAKER_03 32:16

And their patient is in fight and flight. So you're constantly in that energetic state, yeah, in sympathetic. Well, over time, inflammation.

SPEAKER_00 32:26

Dentist is number one suicide profession or uh profession, right?

SPEAKER_03 32:30

Yes, it is. It is, and and I think the inflammation, and not only that, I know this is kind of taboo, call it what it is. In dental school, they they work manually with amalgam.

SPEAKER_02 32:42

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 32:42

And amalgam has mercury in it, about what is it, 40%. It's made with mercury. And now when they're using drills to put amalgam fillings or remove them, they're breathing in those gases of mercury.

SPEAKER_00 32:57

You know, they used to use mercury for syphilis. And in fact, I think that's the way uh Blackbeard the Pirate ended up dying or going crazy. Well, think of the Mad Hatters.

SPEAKER_03 33:07

There's the Mad Hatters, too, whether they worked with mercury for the felt hats. Yep. Also, you know, interesting fact, I used to work, you know, on airplanes. So I was curious because I remember Flyden saying in the back of the galleys, they had aluminum, right? All the galleys. And some of them say they get numbing of the hands of working with them constantly. And I was like, oh, I wonder if that had mercury in that. And no, there's no mercury in any type of aircraft build. And in fact, engineers are afraid of even a slight drop in mercury to drop on an aircraft because it's gonna corrode. So can you imagine we have that in our mouth now?

SPEAKER_00 33:45

Isn't that something?

SPEAKER_03 33:46

Yeah, it's it's so, but it's okay to have it in our mouth. Yeah. And I know Scott removed it. That's all he did is remove them and put uh, you know, the um ceramic implants and he would do um composite, which is the white ones.

SPEAKER_02 34:00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 34:01

But he worked with that constantly. So I do feel the a big why, yeah, uh, because it's a big uh neurotoxin, mercury is a big neurotoxin, is that it started affecting his uh his thought patterns. Yeah. The like it usually causes numbing of the fingers, it causes nerve damage. And one thing Scott always talked about is that he had nerve damage. He actually took this medication cymbalta. He always talked about that. He said, I'm taking this because of the nerve damage.

SPEAKER_01 34:31

Wow.

SPEAKER_03 34:32

And what happens neurologically is starts making you not make conscious decisions, foggy brain, you don't remember much. And it's exactly what I saw progression-wise. It's it's hard to pinpoint exactly one thing, but I think that plays a big role. Uh their environment, our nervous system is constantly in a toxic environment in dental office. Think about the sonic sounds of a drill. Yeah, that is so hard on your nervous system on a daily basis. So that's why I'm trying to speak and bring nervous some regulation in a dental practice for the provider, patients, because we have to get out of that fight and flight on a constant basis.

Faith, Grief, And Finding Strength

SPEAKER_00 35:17

There's so many extenuating circumstances there, but the basics of it too, it's like um being a dentist is a um trying profession, right? You're also a business owner at the same time, most of them, right? So you're an entrepreneur too. So you have all that stress, like you're saying, you know, and then I think what people tend to do is they tend to escape in one way or another, right? Or, you know, you get to the point where it's just like, yeah, I can't take this anymore. And we talked a little bit about um faith too. You know, it's like um that's one thing that keeps me really grounded, you know. I do believe that there's a higher power in this world. I don't I don't believe my life is my own. I think I'm here to do impactful things for my maker, right? And that really guides me when I have the bad day where I don't like where life doesn't make a lot of sense, you know. So talk to me what what faith has done in your life to kind of guide you and keep you going through like it's not even close to easy. You have two kids now, you know, that are missing dad. It's not even close to easy to like supersede past what you have, right?

SPEAKER_03 36:19

No, no, and I always say, I couldn't, people are like, How did you even do it when your husband passed, and there was so much that I had to take on, and I always say, it was God. God gave me that strength. I know so many people were praying for us, and there's no that's what gave me the strength, and that was my guide all along. And I believed in God before, you but what I saw even the day my husband decided to, you know, die by suicide. I was on the beach and there was like a wave. There was a wave. Something that's why I was like, There, we're not alone. We're never alone. Something gave me a nudge to pick up my phone and message my husband and to say, I love you. I love you, because I knew he was struggling, his dad was on his last days. There, you know, I but I it was there's that wave. And even leading up to me finding him in the room and how everything continued. I was guided all along what to do next, but I had to listen.

SPEAKER_02 37:29

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 37:29

And I had to be guided. Even when I moved, the why I moved to Arizona, it was God calling me here. Yeah, didn't make sense at the time. I know I knew nobody. And I knew I needed to find a faith-based school for my children because I couldn't do it alone. And they needed to be on a daily basis surrounded by people that talk about God, that pray together, and that's a norm because they've had gone through a very horrific day. They were there, you know, hearing all the sirens, seeing the paramedics come, seeing it the police, you know, investigating us. It was so traumatic to the point when every time they hear sirens, they're like, oh, you know, it would trigger them. So I couldn't have done it with them not believing in a higher power as well. But my daughter went through her own, like, well, I don't like God because he took away my dad. You know, it's so hard to comprehend that. When hard things happen, well, why God would make this happen? But that's not God.

SPEAKER_02 38:28

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 38:28

That wasn't God who did that, you know, and and but what God opened up for me was the more I surrendered and prayed and become more in my practice, spiritual practice, more doors open. You know, he I know he told me to use my voice. That was clear the day my husband passed, because everyone asked me, What should you say? I said, Die by suicide. Are you sure? Like, oh I'm like, oh yeah, I wrote it in arbitrary and I put the hotline, you know, the 988. And I made it very open because I knew not talking about it is not gonna solve and bring awareness to others. So that was stronger than me. I think for me, now that is my guide. That's how I write my books. Oftentimes I'm writing these books, I'm praying, waking up in the middle of the night, and it flows. And oftentimes these words are just given to me.

SPEAKER_02 39:21

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 39:21

I'm just that vessel to put these messages out there. And I truly believe my husband didn't come to church with us, and I he never really talked about believing in a higher power. You know, I can't speak for him, but that's what I know. He wouldn't come to church with us. But for the three days that I sat with him in at the hospital, I prayed over him. And when I prayed, and I uh I believe that the soul was still there, even though they told me he is clinically brain dead, he can't hear you. I knew he could. So I talked to him, I forgave him, I prayed over him, and when I prayed over him, something incredible happened. There's a tear I will never forget, a tear came down because he finally surrendered, he finally saw what I kept talking about. And there was a difference once he passed, the day he passed, I could tell the soul had left the body. And I know there is a higher power, and I know he hasn't left us because there's too many signs that he has given us over the years now. And and I think for my children, for grieving to know that God is their father, that they're truly never alone through this, and that dad is still there. He's not physically there, but you can always talk to him, you can pray for him, and to be mindful of their their thoughts, they're spiraling into the the traumas, you know, because oftentimes that comes with shame and guilt and could have done enough, but always reminding them that it's important to start your day with prayer, with gratitude, even if your hardest days.

SPEAKER_01 41:09

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 41:09

And now I can honestly say honestly say that this was a gift. The the most horrible times of my life was now a gift. I see that because now I have a story that I could connect to the heart or people and and realize that you don't have to hit rock bottom. Don't wait till you're that rock bottom to lose everything. Start now. Start with your kids in believing that they're not alone. Start with your kids doing affirmations in front of a mirror. Normalize it. It has to all start with you, right? And normalize it so that then we can have a different generation, you know, generation that's open, has the tools to communicate when it's hard. Like for me, I hated conflict and avoided it completely. So learning to communicate in conflict is hard, you know? It's hard. And having boundaries was never a thing. I remember doing this breath work session, and it was it was God gives me messages and it was like big bubble of letters, boundaries.

SPEAKER_00 42:19

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 42:20

And I need to work on that, you know.

SPEAKER_00 42:22

I it's one of my favorite books, probably my favorite book, is Man's Search for Meaning. And I'm gonna paraphrase, it's like, um, life isn't what happens to you, it's how you react to it. And I think you've you've said it so eloquently, and you've it's set you on this mission. And although we would never wish this for you or anybody else for that matter, it's happened, right? And now you're using it to do something good. And those of you out there that things have happened to you, I don't wish that on you, right? But you can make it a purpose and a mission. And I really wanted you to see today that like the definition of success is probably not what you think it is. Um, I wanted to walk you through the journey that uh Mel and I had a little bit, you know, about interacting with success at uh younger ages, and like having my own success now, it's it's definitely impacted me to want it. Like, I never got why you get there and you don't help people, you know. Like I never understood that, and like I didn't understand the selfishness around success. And so, like, learn, it's like, yes, have your success, but have it mission related, in my opinion. Yes, still have connection. The number one regret everybody has successful business people included, is they didn't send more time with their family, right? Like, realign what success is, you know, and we need more good-hearted people making it. And those of you that are out there that are doubting yourselves, you're probably the one that needs to start today, right? You out there that you're not even watching my podcast that's full of themselves, you know. You out there, you're the ones I'm wishing won't make it because you do the horrible things that the world is having done, right? There's not enough of you good ones making it to success. So make your success. You good ones, make it to success. The world needs more kind hearted back. Like Mel Sue, underdogs, bootstrappers, and game changers. And I want to thank you so much for sharing the stories today. Like I think it's incredibly impactful for our audience. And I love having you in my life and the discussions we have. And we'll have to do it again.

SPEAKER_03 44:14

Yes, absolutely. I I'm honored. And I I always say now I'm so particular who I do business with, and we so align your faith being of service. And that's why I love coming to the studio because you get it. You get why I'm here, you know, and sharing the message. So I'm honored. We always have the best conversations.

Final Takeaways And Where To Follow

SPEAKER_00 44:32

Yeah, absolutely. And yet another good one. Thanks for dropping in with us today. Do you want to drop your podcast, your social media?

SPEAKER_03 44:38

Yes, yeah. Yeah. Not alone. Yep. Uh not alone with Melissa Sue Methfin, all the platforms, YouTube, Spotify. Uh also my uh hashtag on Instagram is Melissa underscore gratitude. I have my website, Melissamathfin.com. So yeah.

SPEAKER_00 44:55

You're doing so much good in the world. Thank you.

SPEAKER_03 44:57

Yeah, I appreciate it.

SPEAKER_00 44:58

Until next time, underdog, see you then. Hello and welcome to underdogs, bootstrappers, and game changers. This is for those of you that are starting with nothing and using business to change their stars. Motivating people who disrupted industry standards. This is the real side of business. This isn't Shark Tank. My aim with this podcast is to take away some of the imaginary roadblocks that are out there. I want to help more underdogs because underdogs are truly who changed the world. This is part of our Content for Good initiative. All the proceeds from the monetization of this podcast will go to charitable causes. It's for the person that wants it.