OK State of Mind

Keeping Children Safe at Home

Family & Children's Services in Tulsa, OK Season 2 Episode 9

In this episode of OK State of Mind, a Family & Children’s Services podcast, we explore the everyday challenges and life-changing impact of early parenting support. Lorinda Reed and Sarah Lankford Cerbino - leaders in the SafeCare® Home-Based Parenting program - join hosts Chris Posey and Rachel Roberts to discuss how Family & Children’s Services is helping families build safer, healthier home environments for young children.

Designed for parents and caregivers of children ages 0–5, the SafeCare® program provides free, in-home guidance on child safety, health, supervision, and positive parenting practices. Through hands-on coaching and customized support, SafeCare® empowers caregivers to navigate the demands of parenting with confidence—whether it’s choosing the right medicine dosage, understanding discipline versus punishment, or creating daily routines that foster connection and calm.

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Lorinda Reed: [00:00:00] If we are driving down I 44, and I'm your co-pilot, so you don't have GPS, I'm your GPS, right? And you're in the left hand lane, and all of a sudden I'm like, oh, you need to exit here, 

right? 

Lorinda Reed: And you've gotta cross three lanes of traffic and exit right then. It'll happen. Yeah. But it might not be pretty 

right.

Lorinda Reed: Where, um, if I say, you know, in a might about two miles, might wanna go ahead and get over into the right hand lane, we're gonna need to exit here. Mm-hmm. It gives that warning and we don't have that sense of panic and struggle and stress that we as parents feel mm-hmm. When we're just. Needing to do something and pivot right at the moment.

Yeah. Kids don't do well with that. Yeah. Adults don't do well with that. Yeah. Yeah. So the more we can prepare kids for that, the better. 

Chris Posey: Yeah. There's this great quote by Matt Walsh about parenting. He says, parenting is the easiest thing in the world to have an opinion about, but the hardest thing in the world to do.[00:01:00] 

I feel that this sentiment is shared broadly by all types of caregivers. Sometimes we as parents. Just need a little help, a little guidance. Even seasoned parents run into new situations that can rock their worlds and send them back to the drawing board. In today's episode, we're sharing what we believe are extremely practical, extremely actionable tips on keeping children safe.

Some things we'll discuss today may serve parents of very young children, but we also talk about things that impact older children and young people too, like. Social media, illness, discipline, and affirmation. Listen in and let us know in the comments about your experiences. We'd love to hear from you and we're happy to share some of our key principles about keeping children safe at home today on, okay, state of mind.

I'm Chris Posey, director of Marketing and Communications at Family and Children's Services, and I'm here with Rachel Roberts, public and Government Affairs Manager at FA [00:02:00] Main Children's Services, and we are so happy you are with us for today's episode. Well welcome to, okay. State of mind. We're happy to have you here with us today and we're really excited about our new studio.

You may notice it looks quite a bit different than, uh, the podcasts that we've done in the past, and we are so excited to be here. The facility looks great. Our multimedia design managers, Clayton Dom and Russell Lin have just done a great job getting this set up and we are really thankful for our facilities group here.

At Family and Children's Services, they have helped out tremendously. So it's an exciting day. Glad you all can be here today, and as we get started, ladies, do you all mind just introducing yourselves and telling us what you do here at Family and Children's Services? 

Lorinda Reed: My name's Lorida Reed. I am the trainer for the SafeCare program in the comprehensive home-based services or Chubb's department here at Family Children's Services.

Sarah Cerbino: My name is Sarah Linkford Serino, and I am a coach on both the Safe Care expansion side and on the Chu side, [00:03:00] the comprehensive home-based services. 

Chris Posey: All right. And Rachel Roberts with us today too. 

Rachel Roberts: Happy to be here. Yeah. 

Chris Posey: Glad to have you here. It's been a while since we've done one of these. It has, so, yeah.

Well, today we wanna talk about safety at home. It's a, it's a stressful issue with parents, especially new parents. You begin to see, oh, my child is not feeling well today. I can tell, you know, I can sense it. Or maybe they have a fever or something like that. It's clear that there's something happening. And that initial discovery is one of the most stressful parts because it's like, well, what do I do?

Do I treat this at home? Do I wait until, you know? And it always happens on a Saturday, by the way, so it's like, do I wait until Monday and just go into the pediatrician? Or do we need to go to the urgent care? Or even beyond that, how can we kind of, uh, make that judgment, make wise decisions there? 

Lorinda Reed: Well, taking a child's temperature is definitely a good place to start.

Um, there's [00:04:00] lots of different ways to take a child's temperature, um, for babies, rectally, take a temperature orally, um, on the temporal, on the forehead, in the ear, and depending on how old the child is, would depend on how serious that is. Then yeah. 

Chris Posey: Yeah. All right. And um. You know, say we decide, okay, let's just do some pain reliever.

Child has a headache or something like that. How can we navigate dealing with medications with our children? 

Lorinda Reed: Not all caregivers or parents know how to dose their children correctly with medications. So first of all, talking to your pediatrician about what medications are appropriate for your child is where to start.

And then as my daughter says, numbers are hard. So you've got milliliters. You've got teaspoons. Tablespoons. Yeah. Knowing all of those differences. And I was on a home visit once with a staff where they had to, um, the parent got the unopened medication out and they read through the directions and actually helped the parent to [00:05:00] determine the correct dose.

Right there. The child was, that was actually sick right there in the home. Absolutely. Oh, wow. 

Chris Posey: All 

Lorinda Reed: right. 

Rachel Roberts: Well, when it comes to getting sick, another concern could be poison control. Can you all talk about, um, poison control related calls? What are you seeing as the most common type of poison? I. Control call.

Lorinda Reed: Well. You would think that it would be cleaning products. Mm-hmm. Um, but actually it's not. I think most parents know that cleaning products are typically unsafe. Mm-hmm. And so they tend to put those up. So the number one call to poison control is actually hygiene products. Wow. So if you think about all of the things that you have in your bathroom, hair, products, makeup, um, all of the lotions, soap, lotions, absolutely.

Those are the things that small children are getting into. They see their mom put on makeup and so they're experimenting as well and getting themselves into danger. Mm-hmm. 

Rachel Roberts: So when you say small children, is there an age that is more [00:06:00] susceptible to these types of calls? 

Lorinda Reed: I would absolutely say that it peaks around the age two.

Okay. Mostly because that's when the kids are becoming most mobile. Yep. Curious. They're curious. They're becoming curious. Yeah. They learn by putting things in their mouth. Oh yeah. Um, so they're tasting everything. Mm-hmm. And so it just becomes, um, you know, much more dangerous to have all of these things accessible to them.

Mm-hmm. 

Chris Posey: When I was a kid, and you know, this just shows my late development when I was a kid. I would go into the bathroom and I would get under, under the sink and I would get whatever was down there. I was like this amateur chemist. 

Mm-hmm. And 

Chris Posey: so I would just pour stuff into the sink thinking I was creating some I.

I don't know. Some potion or potion. Some potion. Yeah. Anyway, and looking back on that now, I'm like, oh, I can't believe I did that. I'm so lucky that, that nothing went awry there. 

Lorinda Reed: Yeah, for sure. Well, and and kids are, they're smart. Yeah. Um, I [00:07:00] caught my son underneath the kitchen table and he knew he was not doing stuff right.

'cause he was hiding under the table. But he had opened a childproof lid. Wow. Um, prenatal vitamins. Yeah. And so immediately called poison control. 

Chris Posey: Yeah. 

Lorinda Reed: And 

Chris Posey: well, and you know, vitamins, that's an interesting point too because, uh, we talk to our kids about how healthy vitamins mm-hmm. Are for us. And so they may see something like that and say.

Well, if one is healthy, then twenties gonna be really healthy, you know? And that could really be a problem. Well, 

Lorinda Reed: and they see us again, they're mimic our own behavior. Yeah. 

Chris Posey: Mm-hmm. Yeah. They 

Lorinda Reed: see parents and adults and caregivers putting these things in their mouth so they get access to them and do the same thing.

Yeah. 

Sarah Cerbino: And a lot of them look and taste like candy too. Oh yeah. So, you know, vitamins, but also just like cosmetic products. Mm-hmm. And things like that. Mm-hmm. It's all colorful. It all smells good. Yeah. So that's another. One of the reasons why, you know, the hygiene products is so high Yeah. In poison calls.

Well, and not 

Lorinda Reed: just tastes like candy. 

Sarah Cerbino: They look 

Lorinda Reed: like candy. Right. They have 

Chris Posey: gummy versions of so many different [00:08:00] medications now. And I mean, lax it, does it 

Lorinda Reed: look like chocolate? That's right. That's right. So I mean, like, these are tempting to Yeah. 

Chris Posey: Great flavored, uh, cough medicine and things like that. So yeah.

I mean. You know, it's kind of delicious. Alright. So say we've got all of our stuff put away the way we're, the way we're supposed to have it, all of our dangerous products are, are put up, they're up high. Everything's safe now. Right? 

Lorinda Reed: Well, we certainly wanna make sure that, um, we do have all of those things put up because a clean house does not necessarily equal a safe house.

Mm-hmm. 

Lorinda Reed: So we wanna make sure that we are getting rid of. Oh, organic material such as decaying food. Mm-hmm. Rodent droppings and insects and things like that. We also make, wanna make sure that we're getting rid of allergens, so pet hair and dust and mold. Um, but even if all of those things are eliminated, there are still hazards in the home.

Yeah. So we do wanna make sure that we are, um, securing weapons that we have sharps out of the [00:09:00] reach of children that choking hazards aren't accessible. Mm-hmm. Um. Suffocation, hazards, all of those things. Yeah. 

Chris Posey: Yeah. 

Rachel Roberts: It sounds a lot like you're, you're talking about supervision here too. Can you talk about that and why that's so important when you have kids at home?

Lorinda Reed: Absolutely. Supervision is key. Um, and supervision isn't just knowing where your kids are. 

Mm-hmm. 

Lorinda Reed: Supervision isn't just being able to see your kids. It's being able to be close enough to keep something dangerous from happening to them. Um, so I mean, I can see a child, you know, on the sidewalk, but if I'm not close enough to keep them from going into the street, then I'm not supervising them.

Mm-hmm. So we wanna make sure that we are close enough to them to keep something from happening. 

Sarah Cerbino: Yeah. And like we already mentioned, kids are curious, so we can have everything as cleaned up as possible from what we think, but shortly there's usually something they'll find, a way that they'll find. 

Mm-hmm.

Chris Posey: Well, you would think that, um, sleep would be one of the safest things that, you know, that we could participate in, including our [00:10:00] children. Mm-hmm. But even with something like sleeping, there are, uh, there are some hazards there. There are some things, absolutely some things to consider. What can parents. Due to improve the sleeping environment for their children.

Lorinda Reed: So safe sleep for parents that have any kids under one is extremely important. So when I was raising my kids, it was common in practice that kids slept on their side with a wedge. Mm-hmm. Or they slept on their stomach and research shown that that's just not a safe Yeah. It's, there's risks involved with that.

Yeah. So sleeping, um, an infant sleeping on their back in a crib or a bassinet or a, a pack and play with nothing but the baby. Um, and again, when I had my kids it was, you know, popular to have all of the bumper pads and the matching plushies and blankets and all of that in there. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Um, and all of those become suffocation hazards for an infant.

Yeah. Yeah. I 

Sarah Cerbino: do think a common question we get too are, um, you know, a little bit of backlash in regards to that is a lot of parents are worried about their [00:11:00] kid being cold at night. Mm-hmm. If there's nothing in there. Mm-hmm. Um, but now they make, you know, wearable blankets and they've got really great swaddles for babies and things like that.

Mm-hmm. So, you know, we're always trying to kind of push those wearable blankets and resource them when we can. Mm-hmm. That's a 

Chris Posey: good thought. 

Rachel Roberts: What about co-sleeping with a baby or a small child? How, what do you all teach on that? So co-sleeping comes with risks. Mm-hmm. 

Lorinda Reed: Um, and adult mattress is typically softer than an infant mattress, which is much more firm.

And the risks of a parent rolling over on an infant because they're. You know, asleep or an infant falling between the crevices between a wall and the bed. Um, just add additional risks to that. Mm-hmm. And the other thing about sleeping in swings or car seats is a baby's organs are all compacted. 

Mm-hmm.

Lorinda Reed: So when they're bunched up like that, um, it puts pressure on [00:12:00] the lungs and so they're not able to breathe. So having them again, sleep on their back is the safest way for a baby to sleep. 

Chris Posey: Okay. Well, speaking of sleeping and tiredness, uh, parenting is just exhausting. I mean, it just is. And, uh, you know, it can be especially easy for, I would say young parents, but really any parent or grandparent or any care caregiver to just become.

Exhausted. Mm-hmm. And just not be as on top of things as they are when they're, you know, wide awake and everything and can actually, you know, it can lead to some bad decisions and one of them being. Shaking a baby. Can you talk a little bit about, uh, the notion of shaking a baby? 

Lorinda Reed: Absolutely. So Shaken baby syndrome happens when a baby is shaken.

Um, and with such force their heads are big, um, their necks are tiny. Um, so it's kind of that bobblehead to the worst [00:13:00] degree. 

Mm-hmm. 

Lorinda Reed: And. It can cause all sorts of side effects. Yeah. Blindness, um, paralysis, death, developmental disabilities, all of those things. Yeah. And all of those feelings that you described are normal.

Mm-hmm. 

Lorinda Reed: So parents are gonna feel tired, they're gonna feel helpless, they're gonna feel, um, frustrated. Um, but it's knowing that there are resources out there. 

Yeah. 

Lorinda Reed: So if you are in that position, knowing to, um, call a friend. Call a family member, um, call the Copes hotline. Mm-hmm. Call 9 1 1. Mm-hmm. If you ever feel like you are in jeopardy of hurting your infant or child.

Chris Posey: Well, I think that's a great point that you make too. Um, and that is that these feelings are normal and I think that parents can become anxious just because they're thinking. I shouldn't be thinking this. Mm-hmm. I shouldn't be getting frustrated with my own child. I love my child. Right. And that just adds to the anxiety and, and the guilt 

Lorinda Reed: and shame.

Right. 

Chris Posey: [00:14:00] And, um, I think parents or people, adults in general may think, well, you know, a little shake is. It's not gonna hurt anybody, but obviously even the slightest shake is going to potentially do damage. 

Lorinda Reed: Absolutely. Again, because of that weak neck and heavy head. Mm-hmm. Um, that I. It, it, it can cause all sorts of problems.

What were you gonna say? Yeah, 

Sarah Cerbino: I was just gonna say, I think a lot of people also, you know, think, oh, I would never do that. I'd never do that. Mm 

mm-hmm. 

Sarah Cerbino: Um, and until you're kind of in that spot where you're so tired. That's right. And your baby's crying, you know, a lot of people have colleague babies or mm-hmm.

Um, that's just their way of communicating and, and so a lot of people get to the point where, I don't know what else to do, but you know. Make 'em be quiet. Can you just be quiet? Um, and that's a lot of times where that shaking comes in. A lot of times it's not even. The actual first parent or caregiver of the child also.

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. You know, it's kind of important to also talk with anyone else that's watching [00:15:00] your baby. Yeah. Grandparents, aunts, uncles, friends. 

Chris Posey: That is a great point. Um, 

Sarah Cerbino: because they may not have as much patience as you do also as mm-hmm. Dad, you know. 

Yeah. 

Sarah Cerbino: Yeah. And it's 

Lorinda Reed: perfectly okay for caregivers to put a baby in that safe sleep space.

Um, and take a break. Mm-hmm. 

Yeah. 

Lorinda Reed: Walk outside for a minute. Take a deep breath. Yeah. Um, again, call a friend. Listen to a song. Do something that helps to regulate yourself. Mm-hmm. In that moment. 

Yeah. 

Rachel Roberts: What are some, you know, at home habits that we can develop that will help? Kids develop physically and emotionally.

I mean, we're kind of switching gears here, but can you talk about some of those home habits that we can work on? 

Lorinda Reed: I think routines is really important, and a lot of times parents or caregivers think routines mean very specific times for specific things. My kid gets dropped off from the bus at four. We have a snack at four 15.

We start homework at four 30. [00:16:00] We, um, you know, homework is done by five. And so the problem is, is that life happens. Right. And you know, the bus is late or we have a project that takes longer than that. So sometimes routines isn't the specific time, it's just the order in which things happen. Mm-hmm. Which creates stability for kids.

Mm-hmm. They know what comes next. 

Mm-hmm. 

Lorinda Reed: I know that I have a snack when I get home from school. I know that I play outside when my homework is done. And so creating that stability for them helps to create, um, just a, a feeling of safeness for them. Yeah. 

Sarah Cerbino: And it helps 'em remember that their caregivers's dependable.

Mm-hmm. You know, if they have that routine, then they know, you know? Okay. I can depend on. Whoever my caregiver is to be here and provide this at this time, which helps in those times of uncertainty or when there isn't routine, right? 

Chris Posey: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. How can parents, uh, help with this? How can they contribute to this notion of routineness?

Lorinda Reed: One simple thing is preparing the child and giving a five minute warning. 

Chris Posey: Oh, yeah. Yes. [00:17:00] That's a good idea. So sometimes 

Lorinda Reed: that's part of the routine. Yeah. Right. In five minutes, snack time is over. Yeah. We're gonna start our homework. Or if there's a change in the routine. So today we have a doctor's appointment, so in 10 minutes I'm gonna need you to finish your video game.

Yeah. So that we can get ready to go. Those simple things can help a child adjust. Mm-hmm. To that change in schedule. Mm-hmm. I think about if we are driving down I 44 and I'm your co-pilot, so you don't have GPS, I'm your GPS. Right. And you're in the left hand lane. And all of a sudden I'm like, oh, you need to exit here.

Right. 

Lorinda Reed: And you've gotta cross three lanes of traffic and exit. Right. Then it'll happen. 

Yeah. 

Lorinda Reed: But it might not be pretty 

Right. 

Lorinda Reed: Where, um, if I say, you know, in a might about two miles, might wanna go ahead and get over into the right hand lane, we're gonna need to exit here. Mm-hmm. It gives that warning and we don't have that sense of panic and struggle and stress that we as parents feel mm-hmm.

When we're just. Needing to do [00:18:00] something and pivot right at the moment. Yeah. Kids don't do well with that. Yeah. Adults don't do well with that. Yeah. Yeah. So the more we can prepare kids for that, the better. 

Chris Posey: Yeah. Yeah. This is a situation that I had with my son, and he would get so frustrated whenever we would go in and just say, okay, we're going to grandma's house, or whatever.

Mm-hmm. And so then he's in a cranky mood. At Grandma's house, which is not good. And, uh, this is a habit that we implemented, you know, kind of giving him mm-hmm. A heads up and, I mean, you know, he's still not always super excited about getting off of his games or his phone or. Watching TV or whatever, but it still softens it a little bit, I guess.

Lorinda Reed: And again, I think we as adults, we don't like some of that same stuff too. Right. Um, but we expect children Yeah. To be able to manage that. Right. In ways that we don't like to manage it either. 

Chris Posey: Yeah. Well, we've talked a lot about preventive, uh, behaviors to protect our children. What can we do that's a little more proactive, [00:19:00] not just being on the defensive, but how can we, you know, be, um, I don't know.

Again, just proactive with in, in dealing with our children, I. 

Lorinda Reed: I think it starts with play. 

Chris Posey: Yeah. 

Lorinda Reed: Um, there's a great TED Talk done by a 7-year-old named Molly, and she says that a game of peekaboo can change the world. 

Hmm. 

Lorinda Reed: So when parents take time to not just watch their kids play, but to actually interact with them.

Mm-hmm. 

Lorinda Reed: It teaches kids how to express their wants and needs. 

And 

Lorinda Reed: how to communicate. It teaches caregivers what their kids do want and need. We as parents sometimes don't prioritize that. 

Yeah. 

Lorinda Reed: And so when we take the time to, um, teach them those skills through play, we're our kids' primary teacher mm-hmm.

For the first years of their life. Yeah. And so, um, prioritizing play is definitely a place to, to start there. Yeah. That's great. 

Rachel Roberts: Well, again, I'm kind of switching gears here, but, um, and this is sometimes a, a controversial [00:20:00] topic, um, when it comes to disciplining a child. So can you all give us just some general insights about discipline and disciplining your children?

Lorinda Reed: Discipline is tough. Yes. It's for any parent, unique for each kid situation. Yes, absolutely. So there are some parents that don't discipline their kids at all. 

Chris Posey: Yeah. 

Lorinda Reed: Um, there are other parents that are disciplining their kids, but using techniques that aren't really effective. Um, and then there are other parents or caregivers that are using, um, techniques that are really harsh.

Um, maybe spanking their kids, maybe leaving bruises or marks with that. Mm-hmm. Which is considered abuse. And so learning other different positive disciplinary techniques that are gonna work better. So, um, rewards versus bribes and logical and natural consequences appropriate. Um, ways to take away privileges mm-hmm.

For younger kids, variations of timeout, all of those are gonna, um, 

Rachel Roberts: be meaningful. It's not one, one size fits all, you know, it's not a one size fits all. Yeah. Especially with [00:21:00] different ages too, I would assume. Absolutely. 

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. 

Sarah Cerbino: And most of discipline does start with that prevention that we already talked about.

Mm-hmm. With, you know. Learning how to give them that time warning so that they don't get upset. Mm-hmm. Um, you know, and lash out or things like that. Mm-hmm. So being able to kind of prepare them better Yeah. Is where it all starts communicating. Yeah. Or 

Lorinda Reed: setting up good expectations and giving good directions.

Mm-hmm. 

Lorinda Reed: Um, if we're not telling the child exactly what we want them to do and being explicit about them, then go clean your room. Then they do their interpretation of that, right? Yeah. But it wasn't what I had in my head. Uh, and now they're in trouble for not fulfilling what I told them to do. That's not really fair.

Mm-hmm. 

Chris Posey: Yeah, and I think it's good, uh, if parents can plan ahead on the discipline plan, like they just know the plan in advance so that whenever something does arise. They're not playing it by ear. I mean, they, they actually have something in mind, in place [00:22:00] that's been discussed, and they can just move forward with that rather than reacting rationally because they're mad.

Lorinda Reed: Yeah. It's much more fair. Mm-hmm. It's much more age appropriate. 

Chris Posey: Mm-hmm. 

Lorinda Reed: I was definitely. What we would call a rubber band parent, where my kids would do something and I would take it, and then they would do something else, and I would take it and take it and take it and take it until I would snap. Yeah.

Mm-hmm. And then the consequences of that were extremely disproportionate to the last misbehavior. Yeah. Then they're like, you know what the heck, mom? Yeah. No, I've been 

Chris Posey: there 

Lorinda Reed: too. So, and we all have, um, but learning to again. Be proactive in that and set a meaningful consequences and being consistent with those mm-hmm.

Is gonna be much more meaningful. 

Chris Posey: Yeah. And what about the flip side of the coin, you know, the provision of positive feedback mm-hmm. When uh, you know when things are going right, what are some ways parents can do that? 

Lorinda Reed: I would say that starts with praise. Mm-hmm. And there are lots of different ways to praise.

[00:23:00] Sometimes it's, um, you know, just sweet baby and I love you, and just general, um, you know, positive words. 

Mm-hmm. 

Lorinda Reed: Other times it's just general praise. So, um, good job, or, that was awesome. But if you want to actually change behavior, then labeled praise is the way to go. Okay. So I really like how you, um, colored on the paper and not on the table.

Um, I really like how you used walking feet in the house. Mm-hmm. Um, those are ways that kids wanna please and when they know exactly what it is that you like and that you want. Then they're gonna do more of that. 

Chris Posey: So labeled praise is kind of when you catch that good behavior in action and, and immediately respond to it.

Sarah Cerbino: Exactly. 

Lorinda Reed: That's good thought. And like Sarah said, if you're using these positive strategies more, you'll have to end up using the disciplinary strategies less. 

Sarah Cerbino: I feel like, um, you know, praising is almost in a way, a form of. Discipline. Yeah. If you think about, you know, [00:24:00] discipline is kind of trying to elicit a certain behavior that you're wanting Yeah.

Or things like that. That's exactly what you're doing with the praise. Yeah. Mm-hmm. If you're able to catch it and give them that specific praise early on, then you're gonna see less of those misbehaviors that you have to follow up with. 

Mm-hmm. 

Rachel Roberts: Yeah, I like that labeled praise. Yeah, I've never heard that, but I like that a lot.

Yeah, 

it's a 

Rachel Roberts: good, good time. Well, as as kids mature and they grow, they start to create their own identities, and I'm just curious, how can parents support their child's ability to reason and engage? 

Lorinda Reed: Giving kids choices is one good way of doing that. And sometimes caregivers or parents think, why don't you give kids choices?

They're kids like, I'm gonna tell 'em what they need to do. Right? Um, but it creates that independence. It teaches them that life skill of a choice and. A consequence, and sometimes that consequence is positive and sometimes that's a natural consequence. And sometimes it's just as simple as, do you wanna wear the red shirt or the blue shirt?

Mm-hmm. And empowering [00:25:00] them to do that. 

Mm-hmm. 

Lorinda Reed: Sometimes the choice can be even more targeted, so do you want to do your homework first or take a bath first? Um, or do you wanna wear the coat or bring the coat with you? In that instance, both the bath meal work are getting done. 

Chris Posey: Yeah. 

Lorinda Reed: But you've empowered the child to be able to choose mm-hmm.

Which one to do. Yeah. The coat's going either way. 

Yeah. 

Lorinda Reed: And so it helps to again, create that life skill. It certainly helps to, um, not add that additional piece when the child does put the coat on. See, I told you, you need to bring your coat. That's not really helpful. Yeah, don't wanna to do that. A lot of parents and caregivers are getting their resources or their parenting advice.

From social media, Uhhuh. Um, and sometimes it's okay, and sometimes it's just a TikTok influencer or someone that has a channel that, you know, has made 30 takes Yeah. Before they get their child to respond appropriately. Right. And then [00:26:00] they say, Hey, look at how this works. And nobody sees the backside of that story.

Yeah. Um, so we wanna make sure that parents are using you, you know, legit websites Yeah. And resources. Mm-hmm. Um, for parenting. Mm-hmm. 

Sarah Cerbino: Yeah, I think that, you know, the good thing about it is that there's so many different examples and like we've already talked about, each kid is different, right? Yeah. So if a parent feels like they've tried everything, maybe there's something else Yeah.

That they see that they haven't tried, that'll work for them. But as the kid also, you know, we talk a lot about, um, that interactive play, those intentional words and things that we've already mentioned, I think that we have to be really conscious about like. Social media. Mm-hmm. Phone time, screen time and things like that as parents, 'cause it's really easy for us, especially if we've, you know, already worked a full day, we're coming home, we just wanna sit and scroll and let our kid play in the other room.

But we're modeling that same behavior, you know? And so that's what they're gonna start picking up on. And if we're letting ourselves be. Affected by [00:27:00] all those different videos and influencers and things like that. They are too. Yeah. Um, they're always over our shoulder watching what we're watching. Mm-hmm.

I don't, you know, know if anyone ever notices, but you are really never looking at your phone without your kid looking at your phone also. So I think, um, all those things are really important to think about and realizing that it's not just your world that you have there. Mm-hmm. But you're now sharing it with a, with a little you, so, yeah.

Mm-hmm. 

Chris Posey: Yeah. Yeah. There's a level of. Intentionality that's required just for that attention that, that our children need, and it's so easy, as you say. To come home from work or whatever, and you just want veg. Yes. And you're just like, I'm just gonna watch TikTok and, and that's why parenting is hard. Yeah, that's right.

Yeah. That's right. 

Lorinda Reed: That's why it's easy to watch your kids play. 

Chris Posey: Yeah. 

Lorinda Reed: As opposed to taking that effort to interact with them. 

Chris Posey: Yeah. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Well, the things that we're talking about here are explicitly connected to what YouTube do. On a [00:28:00] daily basis. Can you talk to us a little bit more about SafeCare in general?

Lorinda Reed: Absolutely. SafeCare is a nationally, um, recognized curriculum. Mm-hmm. First of all. Mm-hmm. And so the program that we operate uses that, um, we serve kids that are zero to five. Um, or if a mom is pregnant, the benefit to our program is that we will actually come to the home. 

Chris Posey: Mm. Yeah. That's amazing. So we'll 

Lorinda Reed: work with the parent in their environment.

Great. Um, looking for those safety hazards, helping them to learn how to take a temperature, um, playing with their kids, um, modeling some of these skills with them and then having them practice. We are in the Tulsa area and all of the surrounding counties. Um, our program is up to a year long, so some parents don't need that long.

Some parents do. We will be flexible as to what the needs of the caregiver are and develop a plan that is based on their goals and what's important for them. 

Chris Posey: That's awesome. [00:29:00] So SafeCare is one resource that parents can utilize, uh, and a valuable resource. Um, and, and you earlier alluded to, um, online resources.

What are some other resources that parents can, can use just to help them in this very challenging job that we have? 

Lorinda Reed: Yeah, so in our community, we certainly have. Um, some resources that we use, we partner with Emergency Infant Services. Um, crisis pregnancy outreach is another great one. The health departments in all of the counties mm-hmm.

Are, um, a great resource. Food banks, all of these things are in our communities. I. 

Chris Posey: Yeah. 

Lorinda Reed: Here to 

Chris Posey: help. And if a parent is listening today and wants to get in touch with Safe Care, how can, how can he or she do that? 

Sarah Cerbino: Yeah, so like NDA said, um, really the only requirement for our program is that you have one kid within the age range of zero to five, so pregnant or through the age of five.

You know, it's free services. We come to your home and do all of that. So if you're [00:30:00] interested, you can go to just our regular family and children's website. And under programs you can click on the SafeCare link. Mm-hmm. And on there, there is just a quick referral form. I'm pretty sure. It's just like a name, an email, a phone number, um, very simple.

And that will come directly to us at our program. Um, and one of our staff members and supervisors will reach out to you guys, to the parents, um, or caregiver and schedule with them or whoever the referral is from. We get referrals, not just from parents and caregivers, but also from um, school counselors, other social workers, things like that.

Any anyone you think could benefit from it. So we just call them and tell them that, um, we received the referral. And ask him what a good time would be for us to come out and just talk with them more about the program. 

Chris Posey: All right. So fcs ok.org, and then go to services and choose SafeCare. And there's a referral for referral form there?

Yes. And there's 

Sarah Cerbino: also a link in Spanish as well, so it'll take you to a [00:31:00] full page and a full referral form in Spanish. 

Chris Posey: All right, great. All right. Well, NDA and Sarah, thanks for being with us today. Thank, thank you. This has been great information, extremely practical, extremely uh, easily applicable. So we're really happy that you two could be with us today.

Thanks. 

Sarah Cerbino: Appreciate. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

Chris Posey: Thanks for tuning in. If you found value in what you heard today, there are a few ways you can support and stay connected to us. First, be sure to hit that subscribe button wherever you're listening to us. Subscribing, ensures you never miss an episode, and it's absolutely free. It also helps us continue bringing you quality content.

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