Hello, and welcome back to Kinking Out Loud with me, Gothicc Hel. Today I want to talk about something really important, namely, femdom red flags. Maybe you tried contacting a dom before, wanting to play or just getting to know her. And one of the things that I know many of you complain about is that you've been scammed.
And I'm here to tell you how to avoid being scammed. Let's start with the most important thing and what you do first, contacting a dome. A very big red flag is when you talk to someone and the first thing she says is that you are now her slave or sub and that you shall address her as, well, goddess, mistress, etc.
Or anything like that. That is a big, big red flag. Nobody serious actually wants you to submit to them right away. So if that happens to you, best case scenario, it's a dumb who's inexperienced and doesn't know what she's doing. Worst case scenario, you're being catfished by some dude who just wants to fuck you over in some way or another.
Usually it's about money. Although subs in general might be really excited being dominated, first thing when you talk to a new domme, it isn't really a good thing. It might get you so excited that you forget to check if this person is actually who they say they are, and that is something I'm going to talk about now.
Many dommes, especially those in the adult work industry, usually have a website or similar that they can redirect you to so you know they're actually… For example, Onlyfans, Manyvids, Iwantclips, and all those kinds of websites, you know, the porn sites. And if she doesn't have a website like that, it doesn't necessarily mean she's fake, it just means that she's not doing pro domme work or sex work.
That is not a red flag. Doing sex work in itself is also not a red flag, at least then you know that you're talking to a real person, which is really important. Another red flag, she seems way too eager to have you do things for her, to do humiliating tasks and otherwise, things like that. And you, as a dumb little subby sub, just wants to do it right away because oh my god, you get to submit to someone.
But I want you to slow down, because that's not a good thing. If she wants you to do things for her right away, you have to think very logically about it, at least try. Does she want me to do these things because she's enjoying this, or is she doing it because she's trying to exploit me in some way or another?
Never, ever. Give a domme any kind of pictures, videos, or any sort of things, personal information at all, the first time you talk to them. Don't do it. And if a domme asks for those things, you have to realize this person is not trying to be my friend. This domme is trying to scam me, and she might actually.
Extort money from you, or blackmail you, or use the footage you have to somehow take advantage of you. It is not a good thing and you should stop immediately. Many dommes do not want to domme you right away. We are, we have the pick of the litter when it comes to subs. Like, there is a ocean of subs wanting to submit to dommes.
Because you are so non critical of it. It is so easy to take advantage. You are too eager for your own good. You're probably dwelling in sub francy, which is another topic I'm going to talk about later. But it's not a good thing that you submit to a domme right away. That is a red flag. If she wants you to do things, send her pictures and her money, send her things like that right off the bat.
However, many femdommes, both lifestyle dommes and pro dommes, Do you accept what we call tributes? That is a monetary or another type of gift that you send them to prove that you are actually serious about submission and submitting to her. It is like a little, you know, a gratitude, a show of gratitude and seriousness that you give her to express that you are actually.
Into this and not just trying to use her. It's kind of like if you give someone a gift like on your first date Roses or chocolates or something like that It is just a nice little display that you are actually serious about her and it's nice and it makes you more appealing to real dommes So wanting monetary gifts in and of itself is not a red flag.
If you've been talking to Dom for a little while and you come to the stage where you want to play with her, make sure she asks about limits and gives you a safe word. Those two things are very, very important before you start playing, and if she doesn't ask for those things, you must consider that another red flag.
But to summarize, and just, you know, wrap it all up, you need to find out if she has a website of any sort first. Try to figure out if she has any credentials, you know, active on social medias, handles are checking out. And if you're going to ask her for a picture, if she doesn't have any websites to show you she is actually authentic and real, ask her for a picture where she writes her username or something.
If she doesn't want to provide that, Chances are she is just catfishing you in some way or another. And for God's sake, just because a profile says verified, it doesn't mean she's actually verified at all, anywhere. Anyone can hold up a picture. Where they write their username or something and anyone can photoshop that.
So let's talk about what I call a honeypot domme. That is someone who seems too good to be true. They post and talk about all the right things. How they want to dominate you. How you're a naughty little boy. How they want to punish you. And all the naughty things they want to do to you. How sadistic and strict and mean she is.
She seems like the Perfect Dom right? But that's the problem. She isn't real. I don't think anyone posts like that. Nobody posts about how good they are right off the bat, and give no fucking sources of this anywhere. And not only is she the perfect Dom, she also wants you, and she wants you bad. Doesn't matter what you are, or who you say you are, or anything like that.
She wants you, just because you're submissive. No other reason she doesn't know anything else about you, other than you are a sub. And that's exactly why she wants you. And you don't think that's kind of strange, at all. You don't think it's strange that this perfect, dummy dummy dominant wants you. A sub, who hasn't told her anything else, aside from the fact that you're submissive.
You don't find that strange at all, do you? But you should, because best case scenario, you wind up wasting your time with someone who you thought was going to give you good time. Worst case scenario, you can get blackmailed. By someone who wants your money and are going to post your pictures and videos you sent her to your family, on your work, unless you pay her a big amount of money.
So the red flags aren't just for, you know, I want to find a real Dom. No, they're also to ensure you are being kept safe from people who want to exploit you, because believe me, there are a lot of people who want to exploit you. And being submissive. That is really easy, cause, especially if you're a submissive male.
Unfortunately, you are a dime a dozen. I'm really sorry to say that, but it's true. And that means you might actually want to jump on anything you think is va It's worth it, worthwhile, but you have to slow down, you have to keep a critical mind, and you have to try to think logically about it. Because even the Dom you think is so perfect might not even be a woman.
Which might be a big… Big ol oof for you if you find out, like, after you sent a lot of pictures and had fun with someone who'd sent you catfish pi pictures. Can you imagine how fucking bummed you must be if that happened to you? I guess many people have had that happen. A lot of subs have come to me and told me they are surprised that I'm real.
Because they have been scammed and catfished and tricked by so many. Quote unquote femdommes, who seem to be soooo perfect. But then, it turns out they aren't actually real. Because there's no such thing as perfect either, and you have to think, what would a real person say? Is this a real person, or are they just trying to be a honeypot domme?
That is up to you, and try to use your goddamn fucking head! The big one, up on your shoulders. Not the tiny one in your pants! If you do… You'll be fine. Thanks for listening
