How AI Is Reducing Co-Parenting Conflict (For Divorced Parents): Sol Kennedy

If you’re a divorced parent dealing with constant co-parenting conflict, this episode could change everything.

In this episode of the Dad to Dads Podcast, Sol Kennedy, founder of the Best Interest app, talks about how AI is being used to reduce — and in some cases eliminate — co-parenting conflict.

We dive into:

• How AI filters toxic messages from your ex
• Why co-parenting communication triggers stress and anxiety
• The difference between Best Interest and apps like OurFamilyWizard
• How to respond without reacting (even in high-conflict situations)
• Why this can dramatically improve your mental health AND your relationship with your kids

If you’ve ever felt triggered by a message from your co-parent, struggled to control your responses, or just want a healthier way to communicate — this conversation is for you.

💡 The goal isn’t just less conflict… it’s protecting your peace and showing up better for your kids.

👇 Learn more about the Best Interest app:
Website: https://bestinterestapp.com
Available on iOS & Android
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/bestinterest.app/

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🎙 About the Podcast:
The Dad to Dads Podcast is focused on helping fathers become more present, intentional, and impactful in their children’s lives.

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👍 Don’t forget to LIKE, SUBSCRIBE, and COMMENT with your thoughts or experiences with co-parenting.

#coparenting #divorcedads #parentingtips #mentalhealth #ai #relationships #fatherhood #divorce #singleparent #singlefather #singledad

Transcript

Robert Poirier (00:00)
Sol Kennedy. Welcome to the dad to dad's podcast.

Sol (00:03)
Thank you, Robert. Good to be here.

Robert Poirier (00:05)
All right. So reducing co-parenting conflict through using AI. similar to me, you're a divorced dad. And I think the vast majority of people that are parenting, parenting in general know there's that there are grounds for conflicts arising of how you parent kids. And especially when you think about co-parenting, adds its own unique challenges, challenges to that. So

Like most people, me, I just kind of, we just kind of accept it. That's parenting or that's co-parenting and we go along with it and deal with it. But then there's the select few like you that see a problem or an issue and you look at a way, how can we solve this? How can we make it better? And so that's what you've done. That's what you've created. And so I wanted to have you on here and just to talk about that and

Find out more about this app and how you're reducing, and in some cases, eliminating conflict.

Sol (01:10)
Well, yeah, and then just to take you into it a little bit, you this was not a problem that I could not solve. It was such a big issue in my life dealing with co-parenting conflict that ⁓ it was impossible for me not to to jump in. So. I'll just jump right into March 20, 20, when I was getting a divorce, I never thought that I would ever be in this scenario and.

Here we had COVID just kind of getting started and it was a pretty intense time for everyone. And I'm lying in bed early on in my divorce or having finalized divorce. And I'm laying in bed and I hear that familiar ding of our family wizard. Now that was like maybe the 30th ding of the day, but I'm trying to go to sleep. My new girlfriend's lying beside me and she's like, you gotta do something about this.

I don't know if you can recognize that notification is just, it's so challenging for the nervous system. And so, ⁓ it's so hard. because I know what's behind it, I know what's lurking there ⁓ or what could be lurking there. And so that's when it hit me that I need to solve this. I need to solve it for me. I need to solve it for my kids. I need to solve it for, you whatever partner I end up with. ⁓ I need to be able to be in my new life.

Robert Poirier (02:13)
Yeah, it can be paralyzing for some.

Sol (02:33)
⁓ and, and, you know, not constantly in the cycle of conflict. And the first step in this process was actually, I've always been a tech guy. ⁓ and I decided to hire an old employee of mine and, and run customer service on my relationship. So I hired him to kind of sit there and, and respond or not respond, but to receive messages from my ex. Kind of process them knowing that he's not going to be triggered by the same stuff as me, give me his take. And then.

that might allow me to slow down and really consider my responses and maybe be less triggered every day. And it worked. It wasn't a business that could scale or to help really anyone else, but I tried it for a while and I thought it was helpful. And fast forward to, you know, more recently, before I launched Best Interest, I was sitting with my kids one night and I thought, maybe I should try this AI thing and...

see if we'd come up with a story together. And so we came up with a fun bedtime story together using AI and it was great. And that night I was lying in bed and thinking, well, gosh, it seems to understand language so well. Maybe I could apply this to my problem. And I put some of the messages in and it seemed to just really understand my situation. thought, okay, here is the solution for the problem that I've been having and that so many other dads and moms have on a daily basis.

That was the spark that began Best Interest.

Robert Poirier (04:01)
So your background is in tech or not.

Sol (04:05)
It is, yeah, yeah. I've always been an entrepreneur. Ever since I was 14, I started my first tech company. Always been a dev guy.

Robert Poirier (04:14)
Wow. Okay. So, you know, jumping back, you said that about the getting the dings. And I know for some people that can be paralyzing, especially depending on how that relationship is with, ⁓ you know, with, with the person you're co-parenting with how, and I'm just, I'm just going to kind of jump around. How do you, how does someone receive these notifications? Is there a ding now, or do you purposely have to go in and open this app up to get the

get the notifications or to get the message. Yeah.

Sol (04:44)
so about best interest. Yeah,

so, you know, we, from the very beginning, we wanted to do things differently. ⁓ I actually, before I even started writing my first line of code for this app, ⁓ I reached out to one of my ⁓ biggest supports in all of this situation, ⁓ Dr. Ramani. And I cold emailed her and said, this is my idea. And she wrote back and we had a great conversation and

she decided to come on board. And so from the very beginning, best interest has always been about understanding how to reduce the anxiety that comes from these relationships so that it allows the users to heal. And so best interest works by a few different ways, but primarily we're a shield. So the messages that your ex sends to you are filtered through best interests trained AI. And we reduce the amount of conflict in that message.

so that all you're really seeing as a dad or as a mom is what you need to be a good co-parent. So is your co-parent requesting an exchange time? Great, that's super important for you to know so that you can make a good decision. Are they bringing up the past and saying you're whatever, calling you names? Well, that's not important for you. You don't need to know that right now. Maybe you need to know it later, but right now what you need to know is that your ex wants you to pick them up early today.

Right? So that is the message that gets through to you. Later, when you're feeling more resourced, maybe you've already dropped off the kids, maybe you're with a friend or a therapist, you can go in, you can see that original message, you can process the feelings come up, whatever. But in that moment, you don't need all that filth clouding your judgment and causing you to maybe even be angry in response.

Robert Poirier (06:33)
So you receive a message from your ex and it's Sol, You're a horrible dad. You've never amounted. You'll never amount to anything. If you can take time out of your schedule to pick up our daughter today at three, that would be great. But then you receive the message and it says, Hey, do you, is this the way it is? You received the message is like, Hey, would you like to pick up our daughter at 3 p.m. today? Is that basically how it goes?

Sol (06:48)
Yeah.

Yeah,

it'll say Robert would like you to pick the kids up at three o'clock today. And that's it. And it'll say on there, there's more to the message, right? So you can make the decision about whether or not you read the additional bit and when you do.

Robert Poirier (07:05)
Okay. So nothing to trigger you or anything like that. Yeah.

Okay.

Yeah. Yeah. That is amazing.

⁓

Sol (07:19)
Well, and what's

so magical about it too, just to add on, it's helping you show up as a different co-parent, right? So not only are you not facing the same anxiety that you were before, you're not facing the same triggers, you may not even be going into the same anger. So you can respond back to that message that may have originally been, you know, bringing up the past and saying all sorts of things that might cause you to get defensive or attack back. Instead, you're gonna just say, okay, because of course you can drop them off early, not a problem.

Robert Poirier (07:25)
Yeah.

Sol (07:46)
and then your ex receives that and suddenly they're like, okay, well, I don't have anything. I can't do anything with this, right? You're going gray rock without having to do the training to get to the place where you can go gray rock.

Robert Poirier (07:56)
So what about your response back? Does it filter that? If you were like, they actually picked your daughter up at three o'clock and you're like, of course I would love to do that. It's about time you asked me to help out. Will it filter that as well or not?

Sol (08:12)
Yeah, so you're always in control. When you send a message, it is reviewed by the AI and will give you coaching on how to improve that message. So if you're going into bringing up the past, calling names, that sort of thing, that's not going to be helpful for your relationship. So we're going to pop up a message and say, this is what you think we think you should say instead to get your point across in a better way. And we'll explain why. And then you can choose to send that message or if you're just feeling super spicy today and you don't care what the AI thinks.

You can send that, it's fine, it's up to you.

Robert Poirier (08:44)
So how is yours different from, I know a lot of people use my family wizard. How is yours different from that and some of the other ones?

Sol (08:54)
Yeah, so a lot of these apps have things like, ⁓ our family wizard has the tone meter. ⁓ And I think that it really boils down to the differences is a philosophical difference. I really believe in empowering co-parents to protect themselves and not rely on their X and their ability to uphold boundaries to feel better. So our family wizard in their tone meter, as you're writing, it'll show you a little bar at the bottom if you even notice it.

and you can tap it and try to, it'll tell you a little bit about why it thinks that the words that you use in your message might come across as triggering. It gets things wrong, it's not super smart, but if you send that message, you can send no matter what, you can send whatever message you want. With best interest, it doesn't matter what your ex chooses to send to you, it still passes through your filter. So let's say that they're not using the best interest app.

or they use the best interest app and they just want to send off that rejoiner and get back at you. It's still going to pass through the best interest filter and that will allow you to experience peace by setting your own boundaries. So I think that it's a full philosophical difference. And I also mentioned the other differentiator, which is we're the only co-parenting app that allows you to download and experience peace today without needing your co-parent to agree. I know that's a big problem with a lot of co-parents.

Their ex is like, well, I don't see a problem with how I'm talking. So I don't need a co-parenting app to track what I'm doing. And then you have to get a court order, which is expensive and time consuming. And some people just don't want to go down that path. So they live without having that. And with best interest, you can download it today and you can install it and then use the app without your co-parent having to agree. All their messages go through text.

And when you respond, goes back to them through texts so they don't have to change a thing.

Robert Poirier (10:49)
So only I was not aware of that. So my family wizard or whatever it's called and the other ones, both parties have to be using that. Your, yours does not require that.

Sol (10:58)
They have to,

not only do they both have to be using it, but for most of these, both parties have to agree to pay for it. So it's like two extra bars. And that's why most of their users were court ordered to do so. They have to go to the courthouse and say, force them to use this app. And then they both use the app.

Robert Poirier (11:20)
I know one of the things about those apps ⁓ is that there's a log of communication that can easily be turned over to the court if ever needed in the future. Is that similar with you guys? Do you keep a log of all communication?

Sol (11:33)
Yeah.

Yeah, I think it's really important for co-parenting. Again, a philosophical difference though. I don't, from what I have witnessed in the family court system, those records can be helpful, but oftentimes the biggest thing that the court is able to do is alter custody time. And they're so unwilling to do that. Even if your ex is going up into the limit of threatening to murder you, they're not gonna do a lot. So I feel like that,

is giving co-parents a hope that really isn't there. Everything's recorded, you can take it to court. They're not really gonna matter. It's so much better to feel empowered to decide what you're willing to accept or not. And so that's the big difference here.

Robert Poirier (12:20)
You know, the thing about it is it improves your mental health too, right? By using you guys, you don't have that dreaded ding or the, ⁓ you know, if you're one of those that's receiving these emails that are negative emails, the degrading emails, you don't have to receive that. And that in turn, not only improves your mental health, but helps your relationship with your children. And

Sol (12:25)
my gosh.

Robert Poirier (12:47)
It helps your kids, which is the most important part of it, right?

Sol (12:49)
Yeah.

Yeah, I mean, that's the reason why we chose the name best interest is because if anyone's ever gone to ⁓ court in the family court system, they say the word best interest of the kids. And so that's really what we're invoking here is that by using best interest, ⁓ you are helping your kids. They are going to experience your calmness, your groundedness, your ⁓ ability to be present with them without being

distracted by the ongoing conflict that's happening between you and your ex. It just really dials down the conflict and up the piece.

Robert Poirier (13:27)
When now when was this released?

Sol (13:29)
in late 2024, so about a year and a half ago.

Robert Poirier (13:31)
Okay, how has it been received?

Sol (13:34)
really well. ⁓ I just on a personal level, this was a idea that I had a theory based on having gone through my own experience, thinking that maybe AI could help with this. And fast forward to today, I'm every week receiving testimonials from users saying that it's changed their life. I hear that term a lot. And that is just so cathartic to my own healing journey of knowing that I took my own

Personal deep pain and turn it into something that's helping others where I wasn't helped at the time

Robert Poirier (14:10)
Wow, that is wonderful. all right, I am, I'm not very savvy with tech. I'm definitely not very intelligent on the whole thing and with AI and I love using some of the, you know, the chat GBT and Gemini at a very, you know, shallow level. I'll ask it different things and I love the feedback I get from it.

But I also know it's going to spit out to you what it contains, right? So it's pulling from all these sources. It's pulling throughout the internet. It's, guess, not really thinking for itself, but it's pulling from all of its resources and providing you with answers. How did you, how did you create this? Just kind of explained to me, how did you create this with AI? Like, did you take every scenario? Did you try to take every scenario? I guess.

I would imagine it's still learning. Like, can you explain more about that? The process with creating that.

Sol (15:11)
Yeah,

that's a great question. So in the beginning to train our engine, we had a group of 30 active co-parenting relationships that agreed to use us. And based on those relationships, we trained our initial model. And we're learning over time as we get feedback from co-parents on what works and what doesn't.

And really this is an AI that's designed for co-parenting. It understands the nuances, it understands the triggers. And one thing that's really cool about Best Interest is that it learns about your relationship. So if you, ⁓ you can upload your parenting plan and it will help you keep track of the items in your parenting plan. And if you ever try to send a message that would actually go against your parenting plan, it'll let you know so that you're more aware.

in the day-to-day. ⁓ And in the coaching, it'll also reference aspects of your parenting plan. So it's learning over time, it's getting better. And I also want to say too, I love ChatGPT, I love Gemini. I'm a big advocate for it. I use it a lot in this business. And yet also these tools, they have an interesting feature that is just now kind of coming to light, which is they're really trying to get you to like them.

probably because they make money every month by you liking them. And so if it picks up on the fact that you don't like your ex and you think X, Y, and Z about them, well, it's gonna just reinforce that learning. It's gonna say, Robert, yeah, you tell her, right? And it's not gonna talk you out of things. And that can get people in a lot of trouble. In fact, it is getting people in a lot of trouble. So one thing about best interests is that we really try to be...

fact-based about our advice and rooted rather than it being just trying to make you feel better about the situation, we do try to help you navigate what can be a really high conflict and sometimes litigious space so that you are better prepared if there ever is a court battle.

Robert Poirier (17:20)
The whole thing just blows my mind. I think this is just the coolest thing. I really do.

I love people like you, the way your problem solvers and you think so much, so many more steps ahead of ⁓ myself and probably a lot of people out there. And I love how you've really taken AI and have utilized that as a tool to help this. And let me ask you this, is there, you talked about it'll take your parenting plan. And so I just want some clarity on this. let's say I have to return the kids on Sunday night.

And that's in the parenting plan Sunday night at 6 PM. But I write my co-parents and I say, Hey, I'll return the kids to you on Monday. Hope you're good with it. Will it send me a, send me a notification, Hey, that goes against the parenting plan. Is that kind of how it works as well?

Sol (18:17)
Yeah, so I should also caveat that AI is not perfect. So it's not going to catch every single time. By uploading your parenting plan, you're informing your personal AI about the agreements that you made with your co-parent. So it really depends on what your parenting plan says, how clear it is, ⁓ how well it reads. If there is a specific provision that talks about ⁓ parenting time,

then yes, in the review of your message, it will highlight that there might be an issue with that. Also, if you ever have a question about your parenting plan, you can go into the coach feature of the app and you can ask any question you want about your parenting plan to get some clarity.

Robert Poirier (19:04)
And so it will let you know too if the other party is going against what is written in the co-parenting plan.

Sol (19:12)
Yes, so it's not going to necessarily block those things, but in its analysis of the messages that it receives from your co-parent, it will highlight for you concerns that it has about... Yes.

Robert Poirier (19:15)
Right.

This might be a place of concern. That is

so cool. Is there a calendar feature with it as well?

Sol (19:29)
That's coming soon. That's going to be in our next release. And maybe by the time we get this live, this podcast live, it'll be out.

Robert Poirier (19:38)
It's just so, it's so cool. You can download this best interest through all the app stores or.

Sol (19:46)
Yeah, it's available for Android or for iOS. So you can go to the Play Store or the App Store and you can just find it by searching out best interest for co-parents.

Robert Poirier (19:56)
What is, tell me this, what, you know, you create something, you start something like I know with the podcast when I started that, ⁓ there were several things, that shocked me that I never would have thought, ⁓ would happen. One of them was when somebody wrote to me and they were from the UK and then I had somebody from, from, ⁓ Australia and I was like, what, you know, I never was thinking like the internet.

is international, right? Of course it is, but I never was thinking I was thinking very small world. It kind of shocked me with that. Has there been anything and I know you laugh about that, but is there anything with you with creating this that has kind of surprised you like, Whoa, that's, you know, I never thought about that, that this has been able to help this way. Has there been anything

Sol (20:44)
it's always good to express confidence, but I would say when I first envisioned this idea, I had no idea if it was gonna work. It was just a theory. And I wrote to Dr. Ramani, I said, what do you think about this? And she thought, oh, that's a great idea. I think we could do something with that. And then building it out and then see it actually work, like that was the, that was a surprise. It's a surprise every day that people write in telling me that it's had such an impact on their lives. It's like, oh man, that's...

That's amazing.

Robert Poirier (21:14)
Do you keep demographics of the users?

Sol (21:17)
Yes.

Robert Poirier (21:18)
Do you mind sharing? it more female, male, what, that use this?

Sol (21:22)
Yeah,

right now we're about 60 % female. Yeah, so it's a little bit skewed more towards female users.

Robert Poirier (21:31)
That makes sense that actually I would have I would have thought that but that's how and then how are you going out? Obviously podcasts and different things promoting this like how else are you going out getting the word out?

Sol (21:44)
Yeah, this is a small business. ⁓ We don't have the marketing dollars, it's bootstrapped. ⁓ mostly it's through podcasts and word of mouth. Most of our users come in directly through one of their friends posting about it online or telling each other. ⁓ And so that's absolutely what we ask for is people share it out, tell people about it. ⁓ It's a cool new technology and it can really help people.

Robert Poirier (22:10)
Are you in the position yet, we talked about court ordered with My Family Wizard, are you in the position yet where the courts can start ⁓ suggesting your app as well for that? Are you set up?

Sol (22:23)
Yeah, I mean,

the legal system moves very slowly. I, from the very beginning, I knew that that's not something we were going to get out of the gates. It's going to take a while. It's going to take many times for a judge to hear best interest, best interest for them to start, you know, accepting it and approving it, let alone, you know, the AI aspect. But I can tell you, I have had multiple clients write me and cheering because they successfully got

Robert Poirier (22:26)
Yeah.

Sol (22:50)
the best interest app court ordered in their situation so that both co-parents could benefit from the AI. So it's happening. It's ⁓ definitely a battle and ⁓ we're going into it and helping people out.

Robert Poirier (23:06)
I know you've thought about this, but when you were saying that I was thinking about these family law conventions, know, going there and putting up a table or whatever outside of their little banquet and maybe getting people that, and I know you've already thought about that, but.

Sol (23:10)
Yes, yeah.

No, I think

that's a great idea. Yeah, I think that's probably in my future, setting up a shingle at one of those and telling people about it. But yeah, it's just it's word of mouth. You know, whenever I talk to someone about the idea, an attorney, ⁓ especially, they instantly understand it. They just hadn't heard about it yet. So we just need to get the message wider. And I appreciate the venue to share it out. And yeah.

Robert Poirier (23:46)
No,

definitely, definitely. And, I was, I was talking to the attorney the other day and, ⁓ she was on here and she was talking about a client and. know, he's such a great guy and everything else, but just at times he just can't control himself in his response. And, I know his ex is difficult and, know, and she prods and prods and prods him. And then finally he leashes out and I just want to be like, no. And, you know, so that.

I'm thinking like your app for that would be fantastic. You know, that it's.

Sol (24:17)
Yeah, here's the thing.

You know, when you start going down this path and maybe you've experienced divorcing a narcissist and you see how they bait and you see your own responses, you go to anger. Men, we go to anger, right? But anger doesn't look very good in court. It just doesn't ring very true. yeah, it's really just about how do you... ⁓ You can either go down the path of learning how to speak

eloquently and slow down your breathing and control those emotions. But gosh, sometimes that takes years. And one of the cool things about using AI for this is that you don't need to go through those programs. You don't need to learn those tools like BIF. You can instantly start reacting in what's called like a gray rock manner where you're not giving your ex any fodder to react to. You look great in court and you didn't have to do

any training at all. I think it can be real benefit, especially for men that struggle sometimes with how they communicate.

Robert Poirier (25:25)
Absolutely. Absolutely. Because that's the thing you mentioned it with like a narcissist. mean, they will just keep poking the bear and poking the bear and poking the bear. And eventually you're going to, you're going to react. And, ⁓ it's just, it's just such a cool thing that you've created. It definitely is. ⁓ what, what else tell me, tell me what else with your app, like what's in store for the future? What's on the horizon.

Sol (25:50)
Yeah, well, like I mentioned, we're adding Calendar. That is a very requested feature, the ability to split custody automatically generated from your parenting plan. We wanted to do this feature right and in an AI forward way. So it's taken us a while to get it out, but it's coming out soon. Really excited about that. And yeah, just getting more tools in the hands of co-parents, that's...

⁓ Really what I am all about is ensuring that everyone has a really good experience, whether or not they're using it together with their co-parent or if they're using it on their own. I just want to help serve this population because as you know, co-parenting is, I think it's one of the most uniquely challenging human relationships that you can find yourself in. Because here you have this person that for whatever reason, ⁓ you or they decided.

to no longer be in relationship with you. And now your relationship doesn't go away, but it switches gears into a potentially very high conflict, high decision relationship where you have to navigate it. And oftentimes you're doing it while you're still trying to figure out finances and divorce. And this is a population that really needs support. And I'm very happy to be jumping in and helping in the way that I would have really liked to be helped a few years ago.

Robert Poirier (27:15)
Great. You know, when you say that about co-parenting, even parenting in general, when, two parents are under the same house, that's tough. You you know, you have differences of how you were raised, ⁓ and what your ideas are of how to, ⁓ raise your children, how to, whether it's punishment for a certain thing, whether it's allowing them to do something. And then you move those two parties into separate houses where they're not having that

Sol (27:22)
my gosh, yeah.

Robert Poirier (27:44)
day-to-day hourly communication, whatever it may be, It does, it brings up tremendously more challenges with co-parenting, even in the best of situations, it does. And ⁓ I think I love what you're doing, I love it, and I wish you the best of luck with this. ⁓

Sol (27:53)
And no one

Robert Poirier (28:07)
I mean, I'm all for it. That's why when we talked, I was like, yeah, I've got to have him on. I think this is excellent. ⁓

Sol (28:11)
Thank you, Robert. I

appreciate the support. And I was just going to say, too, no one gives you there's no warning label for becoming a parent. But yet it is it's such a unique experience to have a child and then be thrust into what at times can feel like a healing journey. You know, like when my ⁓ son was three, I was noticing stuff was coming up for me that happened when I was three.

Robert Poirier (28:21)
No

Sol (28:40)
Wow, that's the wildest thing. I don't know what causes that, but it's a wild journey being a parent, being a dad.

Robert Poirier (28:47)
No, it is, it is. ⁓ It's a blessing. It's not easy though, is it? It's not easy at all. And you know, it's one of these things like I've never been a parent before. I'm learning, learning just as well. And hopefully you can give me a little bit of grace. But ⁓ I love this.

Sol (28:53)
No.

Yeah.

Yeah, yeah.

Robert Poirier (29:09)
Well, I want to know how people can find you, but before you get off here, want to always ask people, give me some advice for dads parents, you know, whatever drop of knowledge you may have pearl of wisdom, whatever you want to call it, kind of catching you off guard here. But what would you what would you say?

Sol (29:18)
yeah.

No, I'll

caveat to say that I don't know the first thing about what I'm doing. So, you know, I'm learning as I go along. But one of the things that I really strive for with my own kids and it's a constant struggle, but all it takes to love your kid is to be present with them, to be attentive to.

what they're doing. And sometimes that can be really hard. I can feel the mounting pressure of running a startup. I can feel ⁓ that pull of checking my socials and seeing the notifications. ⁓ And yet I feel the tug of my son or my daughter ⁓ wanting me to play a game. And anytime that I have said yes to that,

has been a really important and valuable moment for me, but I know even more for them. And we can't always be present with our kids, but what I like to remind myself is even if I'm not in the mood for the thing they're inviting me to do, like if I just exhausted after a day, remind myself, I can say, well, I'm not available for that. I'm not in the mood to do that, but can I sit with you and be with you?

And honestly, I think that's all that they really want. They just want our attention because attention is love. So.

Robert Poirier (30:54)
So

true. And it's not always about the quantity of time you have together. It's the quality. I've, yeah, I've noticed that and it's, you know, it's putting down the phone. It's, we have a, a download time every week and it literally is, ⁓ you know, the phones, the phones are down, screens are down, TV's off and it is

Sol (31:00)
yeah, definitely. Present moment time is really so good.

Robert Poirier (31:22)
Tell me about your week. Tell me something you're proud of. Tell me something you failed. You you failed at, ⁓ you know, what did you learn from it? How could you do better? What are you excited about in the upcoming week? And, ⁓ just to literally go through that and, know, the first time it was asking them and they're like, okay, dad tell me about you. I'm like, crap, I wasn't prepared for this, but it really is. It's a, it's a fun thing to look forward to.

Sol (31:47)
Ha ha.

Robert Poirier (31:51)
And you learn a lot about them and, just in general, just, you know, I know you're creating an app, right for the phone, but it's putting that down at time. It's being present. It's, ⁓ just listening to them because you know this, I mean, the time is so short. I mean, it is so short with them and, it's

Sol (32:08)
Sure.

Yeah. I feel really

inspired hearing about your family having a set aside time. We've tried that and that's been challenging. ⁓ The one thing that we have tried that's actually worked really well.

is we have a room, the living room, where phones are not allowed. And we had our daughter who is a natural born artist, she loves to draw. She drew us a sign to remind all adults that no phones are allowed in this room. And so the kids know that whenever they are in the room, they are safe from parents trying to record what they're doing, trying to be on their phone.

they know that that's a place where they can receive our attention. Even if we're all doing different stuff, but we're not being on our phones. And that's worked out really well. And it's been easier to do that than it is to like set aside a particular time.

Robert Poirier (32:54)
That's right. Right.

No, yeah. And I just, maybe I'm a little bit more of authoritarian where it will be, you know, Thursday nights and we're kind of winding, you know, I give them time to wind down and it's like, all right guys, in five minutes, we're going to have our download. And, and we do, I mean, we do. And you know, sometimes those take five minutes. Sometimes it goes into an hour.

Sol (33:20)
I like that.

Robert Poirier (33:30)
You know, them, one thing leads to another and leads to another and leads to another. But, um, I, I, I enjoy those two because you kind of are able to connect and reconnect with your kids and see what they're facing. And it also, for me, I see it opens up and let me say this when we have those, that's when it's a family thing, but it also leads to questions I can ask them or conversations that I can have with them one-on-one.

So if there's something I want to check out a little bit further, I can do that in a more safe, enclosed environment where it's just one-on-one.

Sol (34:08)
Yeah. And you're modeling for them having a dad that's willing to talk about the hard stuff. That's good.

Robert Poirier (34:15)
Yeah. Yeah, I guess.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I guess so. And I just, you know, part of why I'm doing this, I think one of the main reasons why I'm doing this and I've said it a hundred times is kids need kids need dads. And I think they need dads into, in today's society more than they ever have. And I truly feel that a lot of the issues in

Sol (34:19)
Good.

Robert Poirier (34:42)
our country and this world that we constantly wrestle with and we face could be solved with more present dads and with dads being involved. And look, I know that there are dads out there that want to be involved and for whatever reason they can't. And sometimes it's the court, sometimes it's whatever it may be and they want to be.

I do believe that that is one of the reasons behind a lot of the issues that we face is because of the lack of present dads. ⁓ And, hopefully, you know, I'm seeing a, so I'm seeing a little bit of a shift there. seems like there's ⁓ more and more dads ⁓ that are wanting to step up and that are realizing this and that even if

Sol (35:18)
I agree.

Robert Poirier (35:33)
they're a dad they've taken on, I always suggest, know, be coach, coach your kids teams, you know, go and join a mentor program. Cause look, there's other kids out there that their father might not be involved, but you can be a positive male influence on them. And this just, this isn't just for people with sons, you know, this for people with daughters. think girls need dads or a father figure in their life just as much as boys do.

Sol (36:02)
Yeah, you know, nine years ago when my daughter was on the way, ⁓ I made a pretty unconventional decision to quit my career. I was at Google at the time ⁓ and left a lot of money on the table, left kind of mid-career, right? And

knowing that I just really wanted to be present with her, ⁓ to be a full-time dad and just really soak in the experience. ⁓ I, gosh, I do not regret those years. ⁓ It was truly incredible to go through that as a dad. And it was really challenging too, and good challenge. As a dad, know, we have these opportunities to show up and to challenge ourselves and to try out new things and to learn more about emotional intelligence.

gosh, we aren't taught that by our dads probably, right? But the more we can show up as fully present with ourselves and fully integrated with being able to handle more than just anger as an emotion, we can just show up as a much better father for our kids.

Robert Poirier (37:06)
100 % agree, 100 % agree. Hey, so again, how can people find you? How can people find the app?

Sol (37:14)
Yeah, you can just go to ⁓ App Store or the Play Store and search out Best Interest for Co-Parents. We're also available at bestinterestapp.com. And I can be reached at founder @ bestinterest.app. If you want to reach out, send me your comments and questions. I would love to hear from you.

Robert Poirier (37:30)
Okay. And I'll put a

link, I'll put a link in the podcast at the bottom. so people can reach out to you as well. What about Instagram, anything like that? Do you guys have? Okay. Okay. All right. Great. So I'll put links to all that. And so people can, ⁓ find you that way. I thank you for what you're doing. I think it is, very, very, very much needed. And, you know,

Sol (37:39)
Yeah, we're on Instagram on best interest. Yeah.

Robert Poirier (37:56)
I thank you again for people like you that see an issue that can identify it and how can we solve this? How can we make it better? And instead of just accepting it and going forward like so many of us do.

Sol (38:09)
Robert,

thank you so much and yes, let this be an inspiration. Let the podcast that you're doing and the app be an inspiration for other men and women to don't just sit with what is, but try to make the world a better place.

Robert Poirier (38:25)
Beautiful. Sol thank you again for coming on and look, thank you all for listening to the dad to dad's podcast. You can find us on Spotify or Apple, as well as most other platforms. You can also find us on Instagram and YouTube. Don't forget to hit the like and subscribe button and please feel free to leave comments. read each and every one of them and I love, I actually love reading those as well as getting, topic suggestions Thank you all again and we will speak with you next time.

Sol (38:53)
Thank you Robert.