Unpacked In Santa Cruz
Mike Howard talking ....
Unpacked In Santa Cruz
Episode 34:Nathan Mendelsohn: Grit, Grace, and Growth: A Santa Cruz Story
What does it take to balance martial arts, water polo, and surfing in a place as complex as Santa Cruz? Join us as we sit down with Nathan, the main instructor at Claudio Franza's gym, to uncover his compelling journey from training behind his house at age four to becoming a pivotal figure in the jiu-jitsu community. Discover how early influences from his father and inspirational UFC VHS tapes shaped his passion for Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu, creating a path that would steer him away from the turbulent waters of his hometown.
Growing up in Santa Cruz was anything but peaceful. In our conversation, Nathan opens up about navigating the gritty realities of his upbringing, from middle school days at Green Acres and Shoreline to the cultural shifts brought on by changing economic tides. Listen as we explore personal stories of friendships, losses, and the power of community in guiding young lives away from potentially destructive paths. The supportive environment within the jiu-jitsu community provided Nathan and many others a positive outlet, emphasizing how essential it is to find your tribe amidst adversity.
The journey doesn’t stop there. We delve into the intense world of water polo under legendary coach Marcelo Adas, and the spiritual and communal aspects of surfing at Pleasure Point. Nathan shares his thoughts on identity, aging, and the mental adjustments required to stay competitive. Through heartfelt reflections and personal anecdotes, we highlight the importance of self-awareness, personal growth, and the joy of belonging to a supportive team. Tune in for an inspiring episode that underscores the transformative power of jiu-jitsu and the enduring bonds formed through shared passions.
Edit it afterward or it goes straight through.
Speaker 2:Well, I don't know, I'm not going to edit what we just said, so it'll be good you have her live baby.
Speaker 1:Had to do it for the culture. You know I like it. I ain't no G in the key. I ain't no G in the key, I ain't no.
Speaker 2:G in the key. I ain't no G in the key. I ain't no G in the key. All that you say is me. I ain't no G in the key. I ain't no G in the key. I ain't no G in the key.
Speaker 1:I ain't no G in the key. I ain't no G in the key. I ain't no G in the key. I ain't no G in the key.
Speaker 2:This is his music, so I don't have to pay for it. Nathan, so much for uh, excuse me. Thank you so much for coming. Thanks for having me appreciate seeing you here. Hey, I just want to thank my sponsors. We're here at the point side beach shack right now. Uh-oh, is that your?
Speaker 1:oh shit, yeah, I got stuff just pointing in my pocket. That's okay. Turn that thing off Silent mode, yeah.
Speaker 2:Anyways, we're here at the Pointside Beach Shack. It's just a great facility. It's your first time in here. What?
Speaker 1:do you think of it? No, this thing is insane.
Speaker 2:This is clutch.
Speaker 1:You'd never think this thing was back here.
Speaker 2:No, no, it's a bitchin' spot and you know it's. You know, if you have a medium-sized event you want to pull off-site at one of your businesses, this is a great spot to have it. They have as many or as little services as you want, but they have catering, all that kind of stuff, but just a really, really great spot. But you know, since we started with your music, let's just jump right in. Yeah, you know, I'll talk a little bit about you know how I know you.
Speaker 2:I don't or didn't, and you are part of my fear package of being 48 and showing up at Jiu-Jitsu and you know, just looking for familiar faces and, of course, recognize you from Master Jin Studio back in the Taekwondo days, and so you've actually watched me morph in a very strange way. So we have a very unique relationship. There's a pretty big age gap. You're my kid's age, but I think you've gotten to know me a little bit and anyways. So, nathan, you are the main instructor here at the Santa Cruz gym for Claudio Franza, and why don't you share just a little bit about that?
Speaker 1:Yeah, so I, uh, I started training martial arts when I was four years old. Um in the, in the Plaza behind my house there. Um Paul, oh, oh, why am I forgetting his last name now? Paulie. Do you know, paulie? The two brothers um paul jr. He got shot in front of the red room a while back ago his son.
Speaker 1:Yeah, but his dad paul I can't remember what his name was now, but he was my original martial arts instructor and it was just because the gym opened up like right behind my house and I was four and my dad's like go try it, and I super got super into it. And then after that I made the jump to master jins over here in the point on on portola there and was super into that too. I trained there from like six to about 12 and then, uh, master claudio's gym, the one that we train at now the old location is in that same place where the original karate gym was and then I ended up starting training there just by that, just because it was so close to my house, and my dad was like, oh, and my dad, he used to be a waiter up at the Chaminade, so he knew Master Claudio from Claudio going there, and Master Claudio was always like, oh, you should bring your son into to try. You know, like try class. And my dad's like, oh, my son's already a black belt.
Speaker 2:Like I was like 10 years old at the time and he's like he's good, he's good.
Speaker 1:And then, uh, and then it opened up right behind the house and then he was like, oh well, you know, my dad's super like that, he's like super like whatever's around, you know, or near, or whatever. And so he's like, oh yeah, maybe, maybe we could do I could see going right there. And so then he brought me in and I just fell in love with it. And then from that I don't know if he was um aware of the UFC before that or if he looked into Brazilian jujitsu after um after that, but pretty soon after I started training we got the VHS. I remember there used to be the um, the little video store in that same little Plaza there where like dollar tree and all that is right now, and we got the VHS tape of the first UFC. And then there was like Taekwondo guys in there and everybody.
Speaker 2:And then Claudia was like or my dad's like oh, I think we had you in the wrong thing.
Speaker 1:I was doing both of them, but I still love the Taekwondo. So I was doing both of them together for about two years, from like 10 to 12. I kept with both of them, but around that same time, when I was 10, I started with Marcelo Otis and water polo too. So I was doing kind of all three of those at the same time, and then kind of got to the point where it was like kind of like something's got to give.
Speaker 2:And then the Taekwondo is a little different no-transcript to you know, people getting to understand me a little bit, you know I've been starting to open up a little bit about about the path that I've on lately, but jujitsu has been a very integral part of things for me and you know, before I get into to that, you know, you, you you stepped into something and that is Santa Cruz and that this is this has been a really key component to my life and and uh, you've watched me working through, letting go of this identity and and and I I want my audience to hear from someone who's in their mid thirties what this town is like was like how gnarly it was.
Speaker 2:Because people think about Santa Cruz as this nice docile little peaceful, liberal town. It's like no you're not from there.
Speaker 1:Like you don't, know.
Speaker 2:Like you know, let's jump right into that. Like, how was it for you growing up in Santa Cruz? Like, how many of your friends are in jail, dad?
Speaker 1:You know like.
Speaker 2:I mean not to be sad, but like this place is kind of gnarly. Yeah, yeah, you know like, and you went to Live Oak like. Live Oak was you know was Shoreline even around.
Speaker 1:Yeah, but I. So I started at Green Acres and then so how did that work? And then Shoreline, cause Del Mar used to be a middle school. Then Shoreline opened up and then they made Del Mar an elementary school. So at that point I switched, cause I live right there on 17. So it was like right, right next to my house, like right next to my house. So then I went to Del Mar and I didn't actually go to Live Oak, I went to Del Mar and then I went to Shoreline. So yeah, by the time I was in middle school, Shoreline was already open.
Speaker 2:Shoreline was there, yeah, but it's kind of hard to re-relate the personality of Santa Cruz at the time, and you happened to grow up in a time where it really shifted. Live Oak was gnarly back then yeah, yeah, pleasure Point neighborhood was hell on earth. If you were on the on the cliff it was great, but like you had to be in the right block, Like it's an old, old gambling establishment. That's where all the mobsters had their spot. That's why it's called pleasure point.
Speaker 1:People Right, I was just thinking that the other day when I saw it on somebody who's like license plate thing, I'm like that's crazy, Like what if you know, like the actual thing and and and I mean you're part of how it changed and I think in a really good way.
Speaker 2:you know that, that you know it was like, you know the, the, your origin story. It lives in a unique moment in the lexicon of what Santa Cruz is becoming and that things were changing and so you're just beginning to have money move into your neighborhood and influence around there. I mean you could get a house at pleasure, point, you know, for a hundred thousand bucks less than anywhere else, like it was, it was. It was crazy.
Speaker 1:That's crazy it was.
Speaker 2:It was dangerous. That's when you were born, you know. That's cause I'm re-relating it. You know I would have been 20 at the time and that was kind of right when it was making that break. So you know what you know about. You know where you grew up. Yeah, it was gnarly when you grew up, you know. So what's it been like for you just seeing the change realizing. You know both the gains and the losses. Yeah, with the friendships. You know like if you went to shoreline, you know there's a lot of talent Like I think of.
Speaker 2:You know like guys like Russ Sinkins, you know these people that have somehow, like, emerged out of the group of friendships. But you know, I've, I've certainly spoken with him a bunch of like how many friends?
Speaker 1:just got lost in the neighborhood. So, yeah well, one of my um close friends actually. He how many friends just got lost in the neighborhood. Yeah well, one of my close friends actually. He just got arrested. He's not my close friend now. He hasn't been my close friend for a long time. He got arrested after that robbery you guys did.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, exactly.
Speaker 1:He was a getaway driver. He was like a real close friend of mine, chris raviello. Um, when we were growing up and he had two older brothers there were two, they're like really well-off family. They lived right there by, right by green acres, and he had a older sister and two older brothers that were twin brothers and like when we were kids they were always trying to get us to like. I remember like vividly them being like, just try a cigarette and I'm like and I was probably already smoking weed by then. I was like 13, 14, smoking weed and I feel like I was. I had a really close relationship with my dad I still do, but I always like he smoked weed. I remember him telling me when I was like seven years old, like you know when I, you know when I disappear off onto the patio and I tell you you're not allowed to go out there, and I'm like seven, I'm like, no, like.
Speaker 2:I did not notice that at all, but he's like.
Speaker 1:Oh well, just so you know, I I'm smoking weed when I'm out there and it's this drug and it's really bad for you and you shouldn't do it and all this stuff and don't tell anybody at school that I do it and I. And so I felt like I was one of like the people, like later than my friends, that started smoking because I didn't want to disappoint my dad or whatever. And then I think back I'm like I started smoking, like 14.
Speaker 2:I'm like it sounds crazy to say that.
Speaker 1:I was like, but they were like. I just remember them so vividly, like being like how do you know you're not going to like cigarettes unless you try cigarettes? And I'm just like, and that was one thing. My dad had smoked cigarettes when he was younger, but when my mom got pregnant with me she told him the one thing for us to get married is you have to stop smoking. And he just stopped from one day to the next. And I was like, if he's saying weed's bad, and then, like you know, he stopped that and like.
Speaker 1:So I always knew I didn't want to smoke cigarettes, but I just remember them being so pushy about that and I was like, whoa, that's so weird. Like, and they ended up being, like you know, the first ones to get us to drink and the and they ended up doing like heroin, crack and like all this different stuff. And then and Chris was, he was like always this, you know, smart kid, like, super like into tinkering with stuff, but he just really looked up to his older brothers and as time went on, he, he started going down that like he used to get, he would be the kid that would get salvia and then he'd try to pressure everybody else into smoking it so he could video you while you're like tripping out super hard on salvia like that was like his thing and and uh.
Speaker 1:But he just like, just like last month or the month before he got arrested for like roofing some girl at um at one of the bars here in town I don't know which one it was, but my cousin who grew up with me he was basically like my brother, he lived with me back then Um, he uh sent me his mugshot. He's like, look at this, and it was like the whole news story about it. I'm like, oh my God, and his brother's same thing. Like they worked at the Shamana with my dad for a while. They got in trouble for like lighting a car on fire and like just going down a super bad path. But that was that was probably my closest friend that ended up really going down the the the bad path.
Speaker 1:But, um, you know a lot of the thing with starting training so young is, by the time I got into like high school, I was like my social circle was mostly like I knew a lot of people, I knew everybody.
Speaker 1:I still got friends that I see and stuff. But my social circle has been like really within jujitsu, like ever since I was young, you know, and and that was a thing too with like surfing, like I used to surf when I was younger. But around that time in high school I kind of stopped surfing for a while because I just you know that in jujitsu it felt like the guys that I really looked up to that were like the black belts, like you know, paul Shriner, and like, uh, mike Weaver, and these guys that were like super high level guys competing on the high level, like like, hey, let's go, like you know, train at this other place, or like we're going to go travel to a tournament together. Or like I stayed when I was 17, I stayed with Paul in Rio for a month and like they were always just like so, like encouraging and everything, and then I'd like go to serve and some dude that's like two years older than me.
Speaker 1:He's like beat it Grom, you fucking suck, you're ugly and your mom's a whore, like I'm just like I'm like and it just turned me off like kind of to the surfing and I wish it didn't because I'm you know. Now I'm back into surfing and I'm just like I'm not a good good surfer.
Speaker 1:That's one of my big like life goals is to one day be able to be at, say, like, confidently, I'm a good surfer, like I feel like I'm like a, an eternal, like blue belt surfer, but um, but I just started going full-on into the jiu-jitsu and like, but ever since I was like 14, 15, I just wanted to train and and so most of my close relationships that I took from that time on into adulthood were mostly from that. So, um, I haven't really kept up too close with too many people from high school, honestly, but but I do see people around and pretty much like pretty much everybody that I know is like doing pretty good, so that's, that's good, that's great, yeah, yeah, it's.
Speaker 2:You know, again, part part of my interest on top of just having you here was was just letting people get an idea. Yeah, because we have people all around listening to this about. You know that there's this, this idea of santa cruz, but, like the reality was is very different.
Speaker 2:It's ever-changing it's not that you know other towns don't have the same kind of thing, but it's weird how santa cruz is such a mash-up of all things. It is. It's a little, it's got a little bit of everything, but those little bits are the real thing. Yeah, it's not kind of I mean. I mean you, you know.
Speaker 2:The gang problem showed up at your age group like yeah, and that was a real part of your life, wasn't a real part of my life. But you know I watched with your you know age group out in the water how that all shifted yeah, yeah you got a lot of drug dealers that are all affiliated you know doing stuff. You see this whole gang culture emerge. Yeah, yeah, santa cruz county, that's just normative, to you like that was weird to watch.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you know that again, it's your age group, it's not you, but you know, have to condition, you know, have to kind of click up with your own groups. Yeah, yeah, offset. You know what was emerging out of town that people would never imagine actually exist here in this town, and and so you know it's. You know I guess I exaggerate in some ways, but it's not an exaggeration to to to just the reality of of being from such a diverse town.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, we a friend of mine in high school, Daniel Cross. He was like a real good basketball player, super cool dude, but he was kind of into that, like you know, cause he had a lot of the kids that I grew up with from like middle school were like a lot of the Mexican kids too, and then a lot of them, as they grew up, ended up becoming like South Siders or whatever and I don't know what, how I'm not going to say that he was affiliated or anything.
Speaker 1:but he did get shot like in the leg during high school and I remember him coming to high school like on crutches and in a cast and everything. And then nowadays he's like a total, like burner, like super, like grateful dead, like he's like just like it turned it around. But there's definitely that like intersection there. My cousin, cody, who lived with me during high school he's basically like my brother, he was from Oakland and um his, his upbringing was totally dead, like I was just at a um family reunion, um like two weeks ago, um, and that my Cody's mom is my dad's sister and that's like the hood side of our family, like she's got like because my dad's from Oakland, so they were they were like up there and he has two older sisters and they all they have like eight kids and now they've been having kids since they were kids and now their kids are all having kids.
Speaker 1:They're only like a little older than me and they're all like their grandmothers now and everything. And it's just like you start hearing the stories of the stuff and one of the you know daughters had just disappeared and crashed a car and you're like I don't like the different things. But Cody, he came from Oakland because of that type some of that type of stuff was happening. He had a bunch of different traumas happen in his life up there but then he ended up coming down and staying with us down here in high school to kind of get him away from that. But he was like thought he was a north sider. So when we were young he would like have like his red shoelaces in and stuff. And then we'd be getting in trouble with like the east side surfer guys like why are you in all red?
Speaker 2:and then like and then like the south siders here in town, or like started.
Speaker 1:It took him for a while, but then he eventually became more of like a stoner surfer kid. So it was a good thing, but there's definitely is that that element for sure.
Speaker 2:And it's just strange, cause you would never imagine it. If you paddle out in the water that you're, you're amongst some dudes sometimes that are, that are that are packing, they're watching everything. And you know I laugh cause I have a friend of mine that was thinking about buying that, that one house on pleasure point, you know, with the really cool decorative doors. It was like 12 million bucks. And so we're talking about it and I'm like dude, like like you don't want that house, like you're not a pleasure point guy, right, right you know, because, like you know the guys that you think are the problem down there, they're holding it down right.
Speaker 2:Like those, those are your good guys yeah bad guys, those are the ones that show up at midnight you know sitting under your house and you'd spent 12 million bucks on it like yeah, no, you know, like don't do it like it's not your lifestyle you're gonna have people pissing in your yard and using your hose and it's a it's a whole different kind of thing dynamic.
Speaker 2:well, you know we traversed a couple little subjects there, but but I do want to talk about water polo a little bit, because you know you brought up Marcelo and you know this will kind of link into the Brazilian connections with Claudia a little bit and we'll get to jujitsu a little bit. But you know you're part of that, those miracle moments with Marcelo, when you know. So, just so you know who, who Marcelo Adas right Is how you pronounce his name Marcelo, I think, is probably in the top five coaches, high school coaches that have ever lived. As it pertains to water polo, SoCal high program of which my boys were part of.
Speaker 2:You know, I mentioned, you know, russ Simpkins, the Chepetti brothers, the Jacobs brothers, they're right before you, right. Yeah, right before me yeah so you're living in this weird legacy Like you were probably the first group to really get abused by Marcelo because he had, like this uber talent that went through and, if you don't know, water polo is an incredibly tough sport. Marcelo is an incredibly tough coach. What was it like? I'm now imagining, God, the world that you lived in like? You know you're doing jujitsu, you don't really like surfers surfing sucks.
Speaker 1:No, I wouldn't say I don't like surfers. Don't put that out. That's not what I'm saying at all. No, like my listeners know, yeah, you know, it's like they don't.
Speaker 2:I don't like myself I'm one of the assholes he's referring to.
Speaker 1:I really I've looked up to a lot of the surfer guys. Honestly, like I always like wanted kind of to be like more in that and everything. It was just like you know, I was a super shy, like kind of timid kid too. So then it just it just got me to the point where I was just like I just noticed myself going to the water less, and then I was just getting so into jiu-jitsu that eventually it was like oh, I hadn't put my wetsuit on and like forever. And then I it wasn't like a conscious thing, like oh, I'm gonna stop surfing or whatever it just I got so into training that it was just like I just moved away from it. And then it actually took my brazilian friends like later in life, like being like, dude, you know how to surf, because they'd all be going surfing and they'd be like you know how to surf. I'm like yeah, and they're like, why don't you ever come with us? I'm like I don't know, and they're like, grab your board, let's go. And then, like I started going.
Speaker 1:And then I'm like man, if I would have just never stopped, I would have, because I started surfing like my dad's got videos of us like on the board and I was like three years old, like I'm, like I could be a good surfer like why to come on the?
Speaker 2:podcast was you don't want to talk about accolades, all that kind of stuff. Yeah, that's not necessarily, you know, anything that I want to involve myself with, but I, I you know the podcast is it really has a deep spiritual component to it and and you know I make references to jujitsu and and and some things but but you were the person that I had in mind to really talk about the subject. That, just just the realities. You know you've shared enough about your story. Being from Santa Cruz, you know you all can do the math that it can be a really great town.
Speaker 2:It can be a really tough town and there are some rabbit holes, but you know, what I'm hearing in here is this little thread of like. You had a desire to be something.
Speaker 2:Jiu Jitsu is a string that you grabbed you know, that's afforded you to travel the world, to do some things you know at an international level. You know that was a saving grace in some way that you got to both be good at something and to belong somewhere. And I want to like kind of touch on a little bit, because the stuff I've been working on, that I've been sharing with people, is like these identities that are sitting out there. Yeah, you know, because you know, at least for me, what I'm listening to, because I have a motivation here, a slight agenda.
Speaker 2:I'll admit to it, you know there is a spiritual component to what we do.
Speaker 1:Yeah, totally.
Speaker 2:And you know I don't want to put words in your mouth, but the nature of how surfers were with each other was just not very kind. But I'm sitting with someone who's been my main instructor. The first thing I noticed on the mat was the mercy that only lives on the mat and it's like actual mercy. Yeah, but you're sitting there trying not to die. Yeah, like you know, I've talked for for hours at this point with the times I've cut your hair about about this like, wow, this, this thing is so spiritual because you're in mercy and it's it's beautiful to me, like, like.
Speaker 2:Do you remember the time when, or if you, it has even hit you? You know how how much more a part of something you are when you're on a jiu-jitsu mat as opposed to being out surfing with all that Santa Cruz has to offer yeah, I mean there's the surf community.
Speaker 1:I'm sure is great too and everything, but definitely, like you know, I'm sure that's feels like being a part of something too, but, um, most definitely, I mean you see so many things happen in the surf community. It's, it's, it's, it's amazing, um. But yeah, I mean the. The thing for jujitsu for me, like the when you say like the identity thing, like that's been like a huge thing for me in my life is like just the gym itself. And you know, master Claudio has been like a really good example to me. You know he's like he's a guy that's like he's super into health, like if he sends something to me, it's always about like, oh, like five things that like Coca-Cola can do, like strip the, like rust off of a nail, or like he's like, oh, he's like you know, and it just like.
Speaker 1:And I've had those times in my life where, like For me, like my, I started training before I started drinking, so and you see this, with like a lot of people that are in like martial arts and fight like that, actually compete a lot because you have that. You know, it's not as much like maybe like a sport where you have like an event every single weekend. You know it tends to be like, okay, you've got this date that you have to be like really on weight at and really prepared for and whatever, and then that's over. And then now, okay, now I got to get ready for the next one. And the more extreme your I call them waves. So I've learned now that like, the smaller you can keep your waves, the closer you can keep your baseline to your ideal, like in training, the better. And then, and the closer you can keep your out of training to your baseline, the better.
Speaker 1:So, but when I was younger, I was just like cut a ton of weight for like three, four months for a tournament and not drink at all, just be. And then I would be like, okay, so that's see, I'm not an alcoholic and I'm not unhealthy. So now I can go for a month and just like drink as much as I want and eat only crap food and whatever, and and and um, I would start to feel out of alignment with that identity that I've created at the gym. You know, and through that community of like and people kind of build you up a little bit too, like they're, like you're such a good example and you know like I've taught the kids since I was like a kid, so the parents like love what you're doing.
Speaker 1:You're such a good example in this and that, and then, like they think about something that happened on the weekend. I'm like, oh, am I really a good example, like, and you feel out of alignment with that. So that's been like huge for me, like, and I think a lot of people lack that, you know, or they're just like people get lost. They don't have like a North star or something that like brings them back to being in alignment with like a purpose. You know, and that's where you see people just kind of drift and floating and, you know, end up down at the bar every single day because they don't really have anywhere else to go and they're seeking that community too, you know. Then they become friends with the bartender and the people down there. And my friend was just telling me about his, um, his uh, roommate, how he's like she knows she has a problem, Like she's literally there at the bar every single day, like all day, and and he's like I didn't have anybody else to house sit my dogs for me while I was traveling, and but I was like worried, so I'm like watching on like the the cameras at home, and sure enough, she's like coming home every night like sitting down in front of the door, like at her own house, like just sitting on the porch, like, and then she's like passed out, face down with her shoes on and the dogs are like hanging around her and stuff and like it's like that. That's the type of person. That and just everybody needs some type of community, you know, something that'll keep you to, to latch onto. So for me that's what it was.
Speaker 1:I've seen other times in my life where I'm like, you know, maybe if I didn't have that community in that jujitsu or if I would have gone into something else just with my personality, the way I am, I'm like, I'm real, like all or nothing, you know. So it's been great to have like jujitsu would be a thing that's healthy to go all into, you know. But I'm like who knows where I could have, like you know, ended up if I didn't have that. So it's been huge for me for that. You know, anytime I think of something that I've done, or times that I've done something, I'm not proud of it, just automatically I'm like, oh, what if my students saw that? Or what if Claudio saw that? So that's definitely been a huge thing for me, for sure.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I mean it's been weird for me. I was involved with church as I was, and doing all the things that I've done too. I hate it when people call surfing church or jujitsu church or whatever.
Speaker 1:It's not. It's not the same thing or therapy. I like to stop it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, go to church if you want to go to church, church is church, church is church.
Speaker 1:Yeah, therapy is therapy.
Speaker 2:But it really was interesting for me to be with such a diverse group of people. You know you got to watch out for the nerds with glasses cause they're going to kick your ass. The smartest ones in the group, you know, the little guys you know and. But just the paradox of, like, you know all the criminals, all the yeah, all the money. You know, that's sitting on that mat all this diversity that is allowed on that mat and the camaraderie was like it blew me away like. I'm barely like wrap myself around this.
Speaker 1:This is just one club yeah, yeah, it's one club in one little town, yeah like holy cow, like this is.
Speaker 2:it's such an amazing thing to be part of because we're all experiencing mercy in a strange way and that's why we're all there. And I don't know that people are as eloquent about putting it or would put it the same way I would, but you know, for me it's like no, you have someone that can kill you. They're choosing.
Speaker 1:if you're willing, to be humble and to learn to potentially be injured by you so that you can learn Right and I can kill you Right At any time.
Speaker 2:It was staggering to me like oh, this is exactly what God's mercy is Right, right, right. I could kill you, but no you know you want to learn here, so Right, there you go. So just to be in that element, you know, because I think there's some similar personality dynamics that we have. You know, I refer to myself as the scared capitola kid that ended up at the point yeah, that never fit in you know and boy you know, like too bad.
Speaker 2:I lived a half mile south of the point because I was a kook for right the first 10 years I was there like dude, I walk here, I ride my bike, it's just there, you know.
Speaker 1:Like no, fuck you dude, like it's gnarly.
Speaker 2:You know he got beat up every time he went out in the water. It was, it was not a fun, no environment to grow up in and you know, as I've shared in podcasts past, just undoing that identity that was given to me by surfing, by being a guy holding it down at sewer peak. Yeah, nate knows what this means. Like it fucking means something that means I've stood up some dudes totally that are fucking terrorists and letting go of that as though any of it even mattered.
Speaker 2:Right like it just doesn't. And and it's nice to be at the club where actually learning is what matters yeah totally. It's not performance, it's whether you're engaged, whether you're moving forward you know it's, and jiu-jitsu frustrates me more than anything, like I've hardly been there the last month, but I'm doing better than I've done in two years and you're like I don't understand, like how, how is it coming to me now? I haven't been watching it, I haven't been doing anything, awesome. Okay, I guess I'm in control this way.
Speaker 2:You know, I guess you just have to keep letting go and just let let the flow happen. But there's. It's so rare to be in a culture where that just just gotta be in the flow, yeah, and you know, you get dividends somehow. And what a what a great place that's been so right.
Speaker 1:Well, it's good that you're at that spot, because some people get too locked into and that's why I just try to tell people it's just like, just just keep doing it. Like people are so like oh you know I'm doing worse than this person or I'm not getting better. Or you know I'm doing worse than this person or I'm not getting better. Or you know that happens with competition a lot too Like if they're not winning a competition, where I'm just like, just give yourself like five years to just like, just do it and just turn the process and just be in that, that flow, and you may not even think like you're feeling like you're trying that much, or you might not feel like you're improving that much, but it'll happen on its own. You know, like people, just like we get too locked into. Like you know, am I, am I improving enough right now? Or how did I perform at this last class when it's really just about being in it and your body just adapts to it, your mind adapts to it, you, you don't even have to know everything that you're doing.
Speaker 1:Like a lot of the stuff that I teach, it goes backwards. It's not like I like learn this thing and then I'm like now, passing it, it's like you'll learn one thing and then you'll try it and the person will react a certain way, and then you learn the reaction to that. And then all of a sudden I'm like, okay, I want to teach this thing. And then I have to go backwards and be like, oh, what am I doing? Oh, why am I doing that? And then like, as I show it over, same the P, the students making the same mistakes over and over again, and I'll be like, oh, so why doesn't it work when you do it that? And then I get to understand the position better and better the more I teach it. And it's like you know, your, your brain's all doing that on its own, without you even thinking of it. You know, you're just in that flow state, you know.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it is. It is strange that way, and you know, as I've expressed to you, I'll express it to the audience that jujitsu is the first thing I haven't competed at. I realized that most of my problem has been my competitive behavior and, as I've shared with my audience, I've shared with you this realization that I came to in January, being in Hawaii, that I've never liked big waves and it's all I've done. Right, that's so fucked up Like.
Speaker 2:I've never liked big waves and it's all I've done, right, right, that's so fucked up Like I've spent so many years in realizing I'm that asshole.
Speaker 2:Like, I just don't want someone to do better than me. Right, like, like, and that was all it was. Yeah, yeah. And now that I can't perform that way, I realized I never liked it. And that's a strange thing to be 54, liked it, and that's a strange thing to be 54, 55 and go, wow, okay.
Speaker 2:So I've done this for you know, 40 years, actually 42 years I've dedicated my life to something and my motivation was wrong the whole time.
Speaker 2:It doesn't matter how good I got or who I was and all that kind of stuff, but like, fuck me, like holy cow, I've spent so much time like, just doing the thing and like my motivation was just off. And you know, for me, on on my life cycle, the journey that I'm on, you know, just being able to come to the gym and like I'm just putting it away. Yeah, I'm not going to compete, I'm just going to learn how I learn. Just be dumb, don't you know? I wasn't not trying, it's just like, yeah, stop doing the thing that you always do. And what a safe place has been to be that. You know that, that that guy, that I don't know if I'm really a hobbyist, but I kind of live in that space. Yeah, yeah, you know, but it's okay for me to be a hobbyist and being that there's like no identity issue happening and, you know, coming from this culture where it's like, who are you bro?
Speaker 2:You know, like you know like realizing that nobody cares that you surf sewer peak every day. Yeah, only the people that surf sewer peak, and it's only like 200 people, like nobody knows who you are. Oh yeah, but you don't understand what I have in Lucadia. You know like they know me there too, like that whole weirdness. Yeah and there's. I think there's a little bit of that and jets. You know, there's that and everything you got it.
Speaker 1:Every, you gotta be doing the thing so that you do. You gotta be doing it because you want to, because then, whether a million people know you forward or zero people know you forward, it doesn't make a difference. You know cause you could be the most famous musician in the world, but if you don't love music, then or you could be somebody that tries to become. You know, do music your whole life and never take off. But you're still going to feel fulfilled because it's what you want to do, you know, it's what you like to do, you know, and that that's the main thing. I had a little thing with Travis before worlds where he was feeling like he was getting all this pressure in his head and stuff, and then and he was like, oh, he like had a little knee injury right before worlds and then he wanted to not do it all of a sudden, and I could just tell that he really just didn't want to do it, you know. And and then he said something that like that was like super eyeopening to me, where he was just like. He was like I'm sorry, like he's like I want. You know, I really want to. I'll see, I'm going to try my best. He's like I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I can't, I want to. I want to be what I'm supposed to be for you guys. And then I was like, dude, you're not supposed to be anything for us. What are you talking about? Like you, like you had this thing. Like he's the next guy that's coming, which he is. You know he's the next guy that's coming up, but that's only worth anything of that that. He's just being him. You know, that's just how good he is and we're just trying to help him be who he is and realize his potential. But you don't have to be anything for us. Like he feels and that's where all that pressure comes from Like if he doesn't go there and win, then he's not fulfilling that like thing that he's supposed to be for us. You know and I'm like it has nothing to do with us Like, like we only do this because you said you wanted to do that. You know we're here to support you in that. But you got to look inside and be like do I really want to be a competitor in jujitsu, do I like this, or whatever.
Speaker 1:And and then he ended up doing it and competed super well and then he ended up. You know, if he would have if he would have backed out at that tournament. It would have really threw him off course and he who knows where his head would be at now. But he went out there and like won the first match, fought with the guy that got second, who was like the number one ranked guy, and it was like just back and forth. And then we watched the match afterward and we're like dude, you easily could have not easily, but you could have definitely beat that guy.
Speaker 1:And he came out of it like energized, you know, but he was able to go into it like feeling like he wanted to do it for him. And then, without that pressure if you fight, with the pressure of like I'm doing this because I'm the guy for my gym and the a lot of instructors to get that to like I, if my, if I lose them, my technique doesn't work and my students aren't going to want to learn from me anymore or whatever it's like you know, it's this extra pressure that we put onto ourselves and you're you're just never going to be able to perform well, like that you know. But the thing that I had did say to him about why I want to like pressure him, not pressure him, but why it's important to have somebody there is like, just know that. What the thing that's not okay is for you to love jujitsu and just because you're scared or because it's hard which is the thing, like you know, it's like I'm not going to let you back out just because it's hard.
Speaker 1:You know, if you really don't want to do it, then you don't have to do it. Like you know, you definitely don't have to do it. You could skip this term and you could skip the nest five tournaments but if it's what you want to. But luckily he went out there and did it and just you know, and I think he's come to more of like feeling more like self-motivated. Now I don't have to the last few tournaments he's just hits me up and like, oh, I'm signing up for this tournament. He's like ready to go and I don't even have to like get on his case about it. So I think that was like a big turning point for so again in the fabric of this conversation.
Speaker 2:You know, there's certainly a theme in my podcast. I'm sure you'll start listening to it at some point. But you know these battles for identity, right, they just kind of live, you know, and you are the Nathan Mendelsohn. You know, it's, you know, as I am the Michael Howard, whatever fiefdoms we have in life, whatever, whatever fiefdoms we have.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, life. And you know I've expressed in 30 podcasts previous to this, you know what is my internal struggle of like, how to identify, like, like, what does it mean? Like you're touching on some really like whopper things. You know that. You know, jujitsu for me, has been letting go of an identity which is has been fantastic, because so much of what I don't want to be is going with this letting go and just being able to be somewhere.
Speaker 2:I get to be with you guys. I get to learn. At this age I get to be an old gray haired dude that for some reason, guys are, some guys are scared of and they shouldn't be, but you know, just it's like you know, I get to live in this persona, that's there. But I get to be myself and there's very few places that I've ever, you know, because of like what you're referring to, with with, with Travis, there, you know it's it's a little bit nuanced, you know, because it lives in jujitsu, in the conversation about competing, about this stuff. You know, and and I do appreciate the club and it's focused on competition as a means to learn a little bit more about yourself I think that's the goal.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you know, it's not not any medals, you know, I mean metal medals are a byproduct it's not the thing that you're going for me being the competitive juggernaut finding, let, letting go of that bullshit. I've involved myself in where people are trying to compete to get this identity. You know you're at a stage in your career where you're getting older. As long as I've known you, you've been pretty fucking injured, you know I. You know it's it's. You know I think a friendship has developed a little bit more between you and I because of those injuries. You know I consider myself an older uncle type of of like. You know you're going to be okay and then there's some things to let go of. You know cause.
Speaker 2:You know helping people age into something is is a hard prospect. You know how is that struggle for you right now about? Like, you are the nathan, nathan meddleson. What does that mean? Now? You know, like, in the face of the injuries that you've had, you know I think we're three knees uh, it's my my second knee surgery that I'm coming back from now.
Speaker 1:But this is just whole deal with my health insurance and not knowing that I was injured for so long and then not showing symptoms. So then them not wanting me to be able to get an mri and then struggling with do I need to do a surgery if I can train and surf and do crossfit and run and jump and do everything, and then ended up losing just way more time out of my career than I should have. But, um, but now I'm back on track. The surgery itself has just been like harder than before, which they said was to be expected to, but, um, yeah, it's been like by the time it's all done. You know, I had one surgery that took put me out for a year in 2018, and then it's been like three years Cause that's right. When I showed up, yeah, you were just gotten surgery. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then I came back and had a good, probably my best run then after that and then this all has happened, but I still got some more in me.
Speaker 1:You know I'm 34 now. You know, you see, like the guys in the ufc, they're all in that 35 to 39 range when they're fighting for the titles and stuff. Rafael Lovato, he's like number 5, 4, 5. He's just turned 41 or 42. So there's still some time for me to still get back out there and get that. I just want to get what I can out of that part of my career while it's still viable and then. But the thing that's also has to do with that is just like, like you're saying, where it's not like fighting for the metal or whatever it's just, it's more just like a lifestyle thing for me. So I really don't see my life ever I mean knock on wood like ideally changing that much. It'll just change the age division. But you know, I feel like for a while I can still compete in the adult division. That's my focus still. But eventually it'll be competing in the master one division or the master two division or the master. Like. I still want to be traveling around, you know, creating content, competing. You know that's a nice thing with jiu-jitsu is you've got these um, and the masters are actually getting a lot more like attention and stuff now too. So it's kind of makes it fun Like people are actually paying attention to it and like watching the master's division.
Speaker 1:So you know that and that that's the thing, like you were saying, like the competition itself is, and that's why I try to encourage all of my students to compete. And knowing that some people it's not in the cards for them, like, or they just don't have the interest, and that's 90% of the students are never going to compete. You know, that's just the reality of it. And so my 90th percentile I mean that's most people they're not going to. You know, and I just, I just believe in how much it's going to help your progression through competition and the experiences that you have through, like coming with us to Vegas to do a tournament and just like the feeling that you get when you do win a match, and there's all these things that I want for everyone else. So I try to encourage them to do it.
Speaker 1:And you know but I've had that with people before like oh, nate, it's going to like be mad at me that I don't compete. It's like I'm not mad. I I assume 90% of the people aren't going to, but if I don't, I know like there's a lot of places that don't really have that culture of like trying to get people to compete and then it's like 1% of the people that compete, if you know. You know. So me trying to encourage everybody, at least we get like 10% maybe that are going to do it, and then you know, and I think that's good for them and good for the gym.
Speaker 1:But you know, it's all. It's all just about the progression that you're going to make and becoming the best black belt that you can be and beyond. It's just another extension of your training really, and so that's why it's something that, for me, even when I'm 40, 50, whatever, I still want to be out there doing the Master Worlds, master 5, 6, 7 division or whatever it is To be in the mix, because it is a core part of who you are yeah, yeah yeah, how do you feel like your mindset has changed from 2018 to now?
Speaker 2:like what? What are maybe some of the details in the way that you think that you're having to recalibrate? You know, knowing that your body's limited now, yeah, you know, not just on the training side, but just, you know, going home and looking in the mirror, yeah, like, like, are there things that you're doing now that you're, you know, maybe not as angsty with yourself?
Speaker 1:I think I get. I mean, I get a little trying to get more like confident with myself just over time, but I I'm still stuck in the rat race of, like you know, comparisons with other people and feeling competition with people all the time. And it was these times when I'm in my head where I'm like you know, like I'm just like, oh, I want this certain thing to happen, just to, like you know, feel like I got, you know, the better of that situation with this person or whatever, and I'm like you know, that's that's, that's, that's the stuff that you got to let go of. You know, as you get older and I definitely feel like I hang on to things less now than I than I used to. You know I, when I was that that's been a big thing in my life is just like my mind to latch onto things, and it can be like a good thing too. I think, like you know, it can be a motivating thing, but there's also usually like some type of negative, like self-esteem thing connected to that.
Speaker 1:Like you know, I lost a tournament or whatever. It's good Like, if you lose a tournament, to use that to motivate you, but not powered by like this, oh, I suck unless I get the flow thing. Yeah, yeah, so I'm trying to learn how to keep cause. I also don't want to be so Zen that I'm like don't have ambition anymore either.
Speaker 1:That's always been a thing that I'm like worried about too, is it's like? But that goes back to the you need to want that thing that you want because you want it, not because you're somebody else has it and you need to have it too, or you have to have more than them or whatever you know and um, but things have gotten like my head just works, like I get latched onto things and I'll just like spin and my. You know, I've had a real hard time with like focus in my life, like not being focused on a thing but just being so in my head about stuff that gets me like self-esteem wise that it'll just distract me. Like it'll distract me Like I'll be literally training and thinking about some like self-esteem thing.
Speaker 2:That's like going in my head and seriously, I'm laughing because I do the same shit. You're sitting there grinding something else out while someone's trying to kill you. Why am I thinking about this? I've literally walked out to compete thinking about I got.
Speaker 1:I had beat him every other time that we fought and not only beat him but submitted him every single time, including that earlier that day in our weight division. And then it was for like the thousand dollar, absolute finals, which is when I should have been the most focused. But I was with my ex and we used to always fight and and we had some fight in between them and I'm like in my head about it, as I'm walking out onto onto the mat and the guy flying triangles and and just highlight, he took the thousand dollars home and I'm just like like it was just so bad but I would take things like you know, taking all the way back to high school or whatever. That's one of the reasons why I kind of one of the things why I stopped surfing was like I just I was so like, just shy and like when somebody would snap at me instead of just being like whatever, like you, just like that's happening to everybody, like I'd like internalize that and then it would just like get and it just pushed me more toward the map where that type of stuff wasn't happening as much, you know, as like more people being like more encouraging, you know, but that it would get me like bad.
Speaker 1:Like I'd be like it's been a month like worried about a certain thing or whatever. You know, and as I've gotten older I've definitely gotten a lot better in that I've like found little strategies to myself of like if I'm like thinking through a thing in my head like I'll be like, okay, just note it down, it's not going anywhere, like we're doing this right now, we can come back to make a list of it and you can go and think about it later or whatever. And most of the time, by the time I come back to it, I'm like oh, I don't even need to think about that, and it's just like that little snag that gets in your head.
Speaker 1:But I a lot of these ego things that you have when you're younger, but but I still got them hardcore, like you know, especially when it comes to relationships and stuff like, I'm like that's a whole other thing Like, and I'm just like I'm trying to get better. So I think as I get older coming back to your question is like that that's where I've seen the most change so far. But you know, I'm I still feel like I'm in, you know, like you think, like what's his name? The Brazilian guy Poitin, the UFC champion light heavyweight.
Speaker 1:He's like you know, he started his career in like I think he was 36 or 37. Or he's like 37 now. I think he was 36 when he started in the ufc, so and he's still doing his thing. So I'm still holding on to the tail end of my, you know, top level competition stuff. But but yeah, it's definitely going to be in a, in a few years.
Speaker 2:There's going to be a transition of like okay, you know you can yeah, yeah, yeah, I mean there are just realities to particular components of athletics. You know you get older and wiser and so on, but but I don't want to move past this particular point that you made Cause, cause you repeated yourself a couple of times that as you've gotten older, um, you know you're, you're realizing that there's some things you need to let go of. I guess my only point of nuance is that I know a lot of 70 year olds that never mature you know, like they.
Speaker 2:They never ask that question of themselves, they don't take a note, just like you know that's your thing, right, let's take a note. This is important. After I'm done doing what I'm doing, then maybe it's important still, you know, to get off that emotional grind. You know, I, I do believe that santa cruz is an incredibly competitive town. Yeah, like it, it's. It doesn't come off that way on the surface, but it's. It's a pretty rough town, like it doesn't matter whether you're mountain bike, whether you're climb, everybody's racing you. Yeah, it's, it's a pretty rough town, like it doesn't matter whether you're mountain bike whether you're climb, everybody's racing you.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's always something and everybody's got the better gear. It's just like everything is a competition, whether it's your house or whatever else has gotten worse and worse as I've gotten older. But the immaturity in that is my point. I don't know that this is happening because you're 34. I more think it's like it's happening because you're choosing to see it.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:With a generation that refuses to look at itself. I do believe that the generation behind you, the Gen Z, is a little bit more introspective.
Speaker 1:that way, I'm not willing to bite on the cultural bombs that are sitting out there If you can't compete you know, then you're nothing or nobody, right, right.
Speaker 2:So I mean I'm not saying it's correct, anything but but like it's just good that you see it. It doesn't matter what age, you know you're seeing it for what it is. You know it is what it is and like well, I might be able to make a run, I might not, but I'm going to do the thing as though I could make a run. You know, that's a very mature outlook, is the best way I can put it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, competitiveness can over, competitiveness can hold you back, even within competition. Like you know, like you talked to, like I talked to a sports psychologist person and like it's all about kind of letting go of that like result-based thinking. It's like you just train really hard to be as to be as prepared as you can be, and then you go out there and you focus on um, his three big things were body language, effort and competitiveness. So, and then, like you, like I would do like a little rating each um, each training session afterward, like what was my competitiveness, like this, this um training session, what was my body language? Like, um, what was my effort and energy output? Like, and just be honest, like, how did you feel and and um? Then when you feel and and um, then when you go to compete, you just try to do the same thing.
Speaker 1:So you just try to make those numbers be tens and the results are either going to come kind of like you were saying, like how the, the, you know the metals are a consequence of, of the consistency and of the performance. But if you're like overly competitive, competitive, you'll kill yourself in competition because you're gonna lose at some point and then, ever since that point forward. Like you'll see, like guys that maybe were like have that competitive drive and they're super talented, they can do really well as long as they're undefeated. But then like a ronda rousey or like, even like connor, after he started having his first few losses, like, um, even like chrome gracie, you know, in jujitsu he had you could tell he was a little different after he lost it because at brown belt he was all undefeated and I'm a huge chrome fan but, he had a real tough first match at black belt was against sergio morais, um big upset and you could tell that kind of got a little chink in his head.
Speaker 1:You know you've seen like a lot of those guys that like and that you know he was able to come back and be an awesome competitor after that as well.
Speaker 1:But like some people like um Rhonda like never recovered from that. You know, once she wasn't undefeated anymore and that's where it's like that compete you're just so competitive that you'll run yourself into the ground, whereas like if you're not on that results based thing, like it seems so counterintuitive but it's like you could win or lose but you're just like it's you're still going to come back and do the same thing afterwards, you know, and that's kind of like where it's gotta be. And but yeah, competitiveness like and I'm that's a big thing that I have is like just feeling a competition and a comparison to other people all the time, like in so many different things, like you know, and just like having a hard time being like, oh, I'm not like the most this or the best that or the whatever you know and and that's maturing and getting older, trying to let go of that more and more and more the comparison chart that we all kind of have in our hearts and our heads Like's it's, it's rough.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you know I, I mean you, like I said you certainly watched me the last six years just really let go. And you know, as you were talking, I was, I was reminded of, you know, last week we were doing the king of the man I think it was like thursday or something like that and and uh, you know that one of the newer white belts wrestler, you know he's like 230, so he's got 20 pounds on me. Yeah, you know, but, but, but I'm but I'm able to, you know, get to set my own benchmarks and, you know, got his back, was on top of him, but didn't get my hooks in. He's like you know. Then then I just stopped, you know, cause he's like wait a minute, you won. I'm like, no, I didn't. You know, there's something I was looking for.
Speaker 1:And I was like totally confused.
Speaker 2:It was like wait, you know again the dynamic of what I'm working on. You know, it's like that freedom just being me like I. I know where I made a mistake. I wasn't sitting back far enough. Yeah, you know when I when I turned the corner and it's like I was sitting too high. Same mistake I always make. Don't beat yourself up for it. I don't care whether the guy thinks I won right didn't win Right, right, right.
Speaker 2:But I lost to myself Totally. But getting into that mindset of like there's the competition again, which is really really good, but I'm not competing with that guy.
Speaker 1:Right, right, right I'm competing with myself.
Speaker 2:Everything that was supposed to happen happened Totally Controlled, the whole thing, until I thought oh, I can finish this. No, actually I can't Right, you know I made a mistake, I was sitting too high.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2:Really really simple stuff. But it's not simple Like if you think about it in life, like this is what we're talking about. It's like man competitions are weird. Yeah, like it draws out really weird stuff and that draws out really weird stuff and that self-awareness that's a hard thing to find and, and you know I love having the mat because it's like, oh, you're gonna find yourself.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you're gonna find yourself wanting.
Speaker 2:Yeah, there's a 68 year old over there on the other end.
Speaker 1:That can kick the crap out of you, and he can barely move it's a beautiful experience.
Speaker 2:Yeah, anyways, you know you know, as, as we're closing out here, I just wanted to share with you just how much I love you and how much I just totally appreciate the space that you and Claudia have made. The person that you are, just let me be a part of your life. It's been such an enjoyable journey to do this thing. Nate's watched me kind of cry.
Speaker 1:I'm not making any crying noises, so he's laughing.
Speaker 2:But it really you know. I just want you to know how grateful I am to have had you in my life, have you in my life, to know that you know tomorrow morning, if you're there, I get to see you again. It's just really been a joy to do this and thanks so much for coming on.
Speaker 1:Thank you, man. I love you too, brother. I'm really grateful for your mentorship and friendship and really glad to have you as a part of the team as well.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah. So anyways, I got to work my gadget here. What's this song? I don't know. We've been playing a bunch of weird stuff.
Speaker 1:Here we go.
Speaker 2:There you go. No Gee and the Gee. Where was it? Where'd it go? I went past it. Oh man, there it is, there it is Well people there's the most disorganized podcast you've had for me so far.
Speaker 1:I'm glad it was.
Speaker 2:Nate Brother, I love you, I love you guys. Have a good time, peeps, we're out.