From Burnout to Breakthrough: Karla’s Journey Through Trauma and Back to Herself

In this powerful episode of Growing Tall Poppies, Dr. Nat Green sits down with Karla Warwick—a woman of incredible resilience, candor, and courage. With a career in journalism, marketing and communications, across numerous areas  (including working with ministers and prime ministers!), Karla opens up about her multifaceted identity: mother, professional, wife, and now, celebrant.

Karla vulnerably shares her unexpected journey from high-functioning burnout and trauma into healing, self-compassion, and ultimately, post-traumatic growth.

They explore her role in parenting children with complex mental health challenges, and navigating a world that often doesn’t understand what’s happening behind closed doors.

🔑 Key Highlights:

• The hidden pain of high-functioning burnout
  Karla reveals how long she ignored the signs that her body and mind were shutting down — and what finally made her pay attention.
• When your identity is tied to giving
  They explore the danger of over-identifying with being the helper, the doer, the one who always has it together — and what happens when that identity starts to unravel.
• Turning toward the pain
  Karla shares the visceral experience of allowing long-buried feelings to surface — and the unexpected physical and emotional pain that came with it.
• The power of space, grace, and support
  The role Karla’s husband and support network played in her healing, simply by holding space without judgment or pressure.
• Using TRE (Tension and Trauma Releasing Exercises) and somatic tools
  How Karla integrated body-based techniques like TRE and meditation to start feeling again and realign her internal systems.
• The trauma archetypes & post-traumatic growth
  Karla discusses how editing the Break Your Trauma Cycle book not only reignited her professional passion but became a lifeline in her personal healing journey.
• Self-worth, compassion & identity transformation
  From not knowing her value to confidently reconnecting with her purpose, Karla shares how she rebuilt her sense of self.

Karla shares the raw, behind-the-scenes reality of what it felt like to "crash" after years of pushing through adversity. She opens up about the personal cost of chronic self-abandonment, the emotional toll of being a high-achiever, and the critical moment that forced her to stop, listen to her body, and truly rebuild from within.

This conversation is a powerful testament to the necessity of slowing down, the importance of nervous system regulation, and the life-changing gift of doing the real inner work — even when it hurts.

Connect with Karla:

Website
LinkedIn
Break Your Trauma Cycle book 

If this episode resonates with you then I'd love for you to hit SUBSCRIBE so you can keep updated with each new episode as soon as it's released and we'd be most grateful if you would give us a RATING as well. You can also find me on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/drnatgreen/ or on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/DrNatalieGreen

Intro and Outro music: Inspired Ambient by Playsound.

Disclaimer: This podcast is intended for educational purposes only. It is not intended to be deemed or treated as psychological treatment or to replace the need for psychological treatment.

Transcript

Dr Nat Green: 0:01

Welcome to the Growing Tall Poppies Podcast. I'm your host, Dr. Nat Green, and I'm so excited to have you join me as we discuss what it means to navigate your way through post-traumatic growth and not just survive, but to thrive after trauma. Through our podcast, we will explore ways for you to create a life filled with greater purpose, self-awareness, and a deep inner peace. Through integrating the many years of knowledge and professional experience, as well as the wisdom of those who have experienced trauma firsthand. We'll combine psychology accelerated approaches. Coaching and personal experience to assist you, to learn, to grow and to thrive. I hope to empower you to create deeper awareness and understanding and stronger connections with yourself and with others, whilst also paving the way for those who have experienced trauma and adversity to reduce their suffering and become the very best versions of themselves. In order to thrive. Thank you so much for joining me on today's episode. I am super excited and grateful today to bring you our next guest on the Growing Tall Poppies podcast. It's my absolute pleasure and privilege to welcome an amazing lady who I have actually had the privilege of knowing since we were in year six at primary school. That's a little while. I know, and as we've gone through the years and life we've. Been'life-ing' together and separately and things have gone on. She has certainly experienced and overcome some huge amounts of trauma and adversity throughout her life and has agreed to come and chat with us today about her personal and professional experience. So let me start by welcoming Karla Warwick

Karla Warwick: 2:14

Thank you. Nat I'm really pleased to be on the show. I'm so excited.

Dr Nat Green: 2:19

So am I. So Karla has a background in marketing and communications and has also recently become a Commonwealth registered marriage celebrant. So let's start with you giving us a brief introduction of who you are and what you do in the world these days.

Karla Warwick: 2:37

Gosh, yeah, that's been the big question I've been asking myself over the last. Especially 12 months now. So who I am, I guess I'm defined in different ways. So yes, I've had a, marketing media and comms background. I've been doing that for quite a long time. If I tell you how long that age us, both won't it. So I won't say too much, but it's been considerable time. I'm the mother of three children and the stepmother of one. And I am enjoying a stage of my life where my children are grown and are amazing adults. And so I get to spend lots of great time with my husband and my dog living in what I consider to be the most amazing part of one of the most amazing parts of the country, which is Brisbane.

Dr Nat Green: 3:17

We might beg to differ on the most amazing parts. I'm glad you clarified one of. I know you've done a huge variety of things throughout your career, so I know that we are not just gonna look today at career, but let's start with the sort of work you've done. Throughout life.

Karla Warwick: 3:40

Yeah, sure. So look I've been a journalist. I've worked as a marketing manager for a local, for a council for TAFE Institute. I've worked in a couple of different departments at the Australian government level. So I've worked for the Department of Defense what used to be called Human Services. And it's been a really privileged role because, both as a journalist and then in my. job With the Australian government. I've worked with ministers and prime ministers. I've organized, national events. I have been at the forefront of some pretty important things for the country's history and. When you're in the middle of something like that, you just, you do what you need to do because that's your job. But when then you look back you realize just how absolutely privileged you are. I've been through, parts of Parliament House that not everybody can see, and it's the most magnificent building. And it's just been the most incredible career. Which was all accidental in a way. I've never been really deliberate about my career. I've just taken opportunities that they've come and I've fallen into the most amazing experiences.

Dr Nat Green: 4:45

Yeah. You certainly had a wide variety of experience and no doubt you've learned lots and lots of things, both good and bad and both challenging and not so challenging along the way. So I'm just wondering how, like you said, you are a Mum of three beautiful children and Step Mum to one beautiful child. They're all adults now. They're not children. And you identified as a wife, a partner, a Mum, and also in the marketing communications side of things. So how have you managed to juggle all of those various roles.

Karla Warwick: 5:31

Yeah, that's a really interesting question because I look back now and I wonder how I did it. I have quite a few postgraduate qualifications. I was working full-time with three children while I was completing those. And my children have all had varying degrees of challenges in their lives. Different to what you would normally expect raising children. So I've got a child who's neurodivergent. I've got we've dealt with a whole range of mental ill health. So there's been eating disorders, cutting suicide ideation. The most incredible challenges. How did I do it? I think it was good. Fortune more than good design. I think it was about staying focused on what had to happen at that time. And so you know whether, and it doesn't matter what your challenges are, if you've got multiple things happening, which happens when you're a working parent. Let's face it. You learn very quickly to focus on what's most important at that time, to cut out as much noise as you possibly can to your time management improves greatly. Your ability to prioritize is sharpened and you learn. You learn to not sweat the small stuff, especially when your children, as I, as mine, were some of the things that other parents might get really worked up about with their children. I'd go, I don't really care. Because you know what? Today they haven't tried to suicide. Today they ate today, they didn't cut themselves. Today, they went to school. And so if my child isn't the best at sport or doesn't get the top of the class. Today my child is happy. And to me that is the most important thing. So I think it's a whole range of different things, but it's about perspective and about maintaining focus on what you think is most important, and then digging really deep. Because there have been some days, especially when my son was really unwell where I had to, at the end of my day say, what are the three things? Today were great about today. And depending on the day, it was really hard to dig, but if it was, I got to eat a chocolate uninterrupted today, that was one of my top three things.

Dr Nat Green: 7:40

And I do know that chocolate is one of your, I think your top thing, to be honest, if I remember correctly.

Karla Warwick: 7:47

Yeah. That hasn't changed.

Dr Nat Green: 7:49

But seriously, thank you so much for sharing that so openly and honestly that. Navigating as a parent, a path that thankfully a lot of parents don't ever have to tread is huge. When you have one neurodivergent child, when you have other illnesses, mental health conditions thrown into the mix as well. I can't even begin to imagine. What that was like for them, obviously, but also for you. So tell me a bit about some of that, if that's okay

Karla Warwick: 8:29

yeah, sure. I am very open about this because I feel like. If people who are going through this can feel validated and gain strength from my experiences, then I'm more than happy to share them. I'm not going to sugarcoat it was really bloody hard and it was one of the reasons my first marriage broke down. I often joked that I think it's like one in three families have a child for who has a disability or a mental illness. And so there are another couple of families out there that should be thanking us for taking on their responsibility. And interestingly, I would like to see what those statistics are like now because I feel like there's more known and understood and it's spoken about more. So I actually think those statistics are probably much greater and Covid hasn't helped either. How did I get through it I I maintained a focus on what was most important. So to me, my children are the most important thing ever, the most important achievement that I've ever made in life. Regardless of what happens professionally, my children are my biggest achievement. And so maintaining that focus, I think being, willing to learn, being open-minded about it, especially when you're talking about mental ill health, because it's not a one size fits all. Even a neurodivergent child. It's not one size fits all.

Dr Nat Green: 9:52

No.

Karla Warwick: 9:52

And we're talking about a time when so my youngest child is 25 this year, and he was diagnosed with A DHD at six. So there was not a lot known even then. And so you were spending a lot of time being your child's advocate. So seeking to understand how they were trying to put yourself in the shoes of a young person who did not feel like they fitted in at all didn't understand what was going on, was scared and under threat, and acted out on that basis. So you seeking to understand that is why things are the way they are for that individual. And then taking an approach to be as educated as you possibly can. And, but then going in and being the voice. I was the mama bear. We would joke quite often about how I would end up putting people in therapy. Which I would never do it deliberately, but. The approaches sometimes, particularly with my son the approaches that people took weren't going to work with him. And, we had so much experience with people saying, he is gotta, we've just gotta make him do it. Or, let's look at exposure therapy, like it's not gonna work because we've tried it and he shuts down and it makes it worse for him. He's so traumatized by everything that has gone on that. None of these approaches are going to work for him anymore. And then within the context, so whilst that might be what he's going through, we had, his sisters were experiencing their own challenges and they were feeding each other and they were not in a positive way, but they were reacting to what was also going on in the family. See, you just had to be completely on top of it all the time. You had to be focused on the individual and who was the bigger priority at that point. I can't say that I did it very well. And I know now based on what I have gone through, there was a lot, there's a lot of trauma that was buried very deeply, which I'm starting to work on, but at the time you don't, you can't afford to afford do anything for yourself because you need to focus on your children. Having said that, I didn't do things super awesome. I have learned in the last little while to be a lot more compassionate. I was young. I had my first child at I think I was 26, so that's very young. There you don't get the book on how to parent?

Dr Nat Green: 12:13

No,

Karla Warwick: 12:13

I didn't. I didn't have any family close by that could support me in that. I had, there were circumstances where we didn't understand what was going on with our children. Others didn't understand the amount of times that I was judged because my child was a naughty little boy.

Dr Nat Green: 12:27

Yes.

Karla Warwick: 12:27

And can't I parent them properly? It's actually, hang on. You come walk in my shoes because it's, these are not, it's not just ADHD. There were other things as well, and. As an adult. Further things have been diagnosed, which I tried to get when he was younger, but couldn't get a diagnosis. It's no wonder he was the way he was. And judging doesn't help, it doesn't help the parent and it certainly doesn't help the young person who's experiencing that.

Dr Nat Green: 12:50

I love that you articulated that, Karla, because honestly, we see that so often and in my role when I was working one-to-one with children and adolescents and families. As a psychologist. Oh my goodness. So often we would hear the story reflected back that, I was at the shopping center and of course, for a child who's autistic or has ADHD, there was so many triggers in a shopping center, but you had no one else to look after them. You take them in and it's no wonder. Their behavior is Yep. Because they're trying to communicate what's going on and the amount of judgment.

Karla Warwick: 13:36

Yep.

Dr Nat Green: 13:38

It's absolutely horrendous and I think, I take my hat off to any parent who advocates beautifully for their child because someone has to do it.

Karla Warwick: 13:50

That's right. You need to be their voice.

Dr Nat Green: 13:52

we just don't Understand it the way that we need to. It's definitely improving, as you said. It's definitely getting better than what it was back then, but we still have so much to learn. So tell us what else you learned in that journey that might help people who are navigating that right now.

Karla Warwick: 14:10

I think, as I said and I learned it late, be kind to yourself. And that is the one thing I wish I had done more of when I was younger because you.don't know you don't know, No one knows. It's just an unknown territory. But yeah, definitely the advocating, definitely seeking to understand, not so that you can have a label for your child, but so that you can help them live in a world that. They might feel quite isn't, that is foreign to them. So what are the skills and what's the opportunities that I can make available to my child to help them function? So my view was I always joked parenting is strategic and it absolutely is. So you gonna have these interactions and children act out at home because that's where they test where things are safe. That's the safe environment for them. And then they take the skills that they learn in the home, out into society. And when you have children who, like my son could, can't cope. There's, they get overwhelmed really easily. They find it difficult to express how they're feeling. They're bullied because they're different. Then you've gotta help them develop the skills that they can then become a functioning adult in society. And you've gotta fight for them because, at the time that, that this was happening, the NDIS didn't exist. Yeah. So a lot of this stuff was left to either the public health system, which was, has never been well resourced. And you would see someone for a couple of weeks and then they'd leave and a new person would come in and you have to keep retelling the story, over and over again. So the other thing I'd say is for anybody who is in an area where they're able to work with families and children who are, experiencing trauma as a result of disability or mental ill health. Be very careful about retraumatizing people because the amount of times my children had to go back and talk again about what's going on and how they're feeling, and I had to go on and do the same thing and people would not without any history, would try and force these treatments on them when I would say it's not gonna work. And then they think I was the overbearing, bossy mother who didn't really care what was going on with the child. Actually, it isn't. I know my child well, and you need to trust that we know what's worked and what hasn't, and start from where the client or the patient, sorry, or whatever the description is, start from where they're yes and where the parent is not from where you think things should be.

Dr Nat Green: 16:33

Gold nugget right there and so many, and who better to ask than the people who've experienced it? Yeah, we need to listen. We need to listen more. And yes, you are navigating that path and advocating for them to the best of your ability. And as you said, you didn't get it right every time. You didn't, certainly didn't get it perfect. There is no rule book, particularly when you have not one, not two, but three. Children with different challenges and varying degrees of challenges. And that takes an impact on you.

Karla Warwick: 17:10

Yeah.

Dr Nat Green: 17:10

On them. Your relationship.

Karla Warwick: 17:13

Yeah.

Dr Nat Green: 17:13

And undoubtedly your work. So how did you navigate the relationship side of things with everyone in your life?

Karla Warwick: 17:25

Some relationships disappeared. I'm very fortunate. That even though it was one of the reasons that my first marriage ended, that we both are still quite close. Good friends. I'm, I'm very fond of my first husband. I just don't wanna be married to him anymore'cause I've got a second husband. And that's not legal in Australia. I think, and I think it's because at that time too, we remained focused on what's most important and for us, For me, I wanted my children to see that just because their mom and dad didn't love each other anymore didn't mean that we didn't care for each other and respect each other. And I think that is especially important when you have children who are already mentally unwell. They don't need to see, they don't need the angst and the trauma that can sometimes happen when a marriage breaks down.

Dr Nat Green: 18:22

Absolutely.

Karla Warwick: 18:24

So I just remained focused on that. And I think what I learned from that in a broader sense with relationships is your first reaction to somebody because of their behavior needs to be checked because you don't know what's going on in their lives. You don't know how they're feeling mentally. You don't know whether they're neurodivergent. So whilst you might respond or behave in a certain way, that is. Different to the way that they're doing. It doesn't mean one's right or wrong, but you need to make the effort to seek to understand the individual and their motivations because that's how you build really good relationships. And I've taken that into my work. Definitely. I've managed people who've had difficult circumstances with their own children or they're they're not well, I've got a couple of people in a team that I work with now who are neurodivergent. So the experiences that I had raising children, like the children that I had has actually made me better at relationships, I think generally. And in the workplace. And I feel like it has actually made me a better leader.

Dr Nat Green: 19:25

Excellent. And I think you also touched a while ago on compassion. So no doubt by going through what you experienced and walking in those shoes and seeing. Other people treading similar paths, but understanding that they will have their own experiences that compassion will have come in.

Karla Warwick: 19:47

Yeah. Yeah. I may not have exactly been where they are, but I've been a lot of places with the things that I have seen and been through with my children. I had to make a decision to put one in an adolescent mental health facility for some time. That's a really tough call to make as a parent. One of the decisions I regret now because it actually, he came out worse. But you do what you think is right at the time, and so having had all those experiences. I think then I can demonstrate that compassion that you've talked about when it comes to just anybody with the challenges that they're facing in their own lives. And I've also learned from my own experiences that if you can just be compassionate towards somebody in the workplace and hold space for them when they need it, when they're not having a great time, you can make such a significant difference to their lives, to their working lives. And to their lives in general. And look, I don't think you can do too much of that in this world.

Dr Nat Green: 20:45

No, I completely agree. So you've touched a couple of times now on having been through your own trauma experiences, so did you want to share whatever you feel comfortable sharing around that as well?

Karla Warwick: 21:00

So I think I think the interesting thing is that with trauma it can sneak up on you, bite you when you least expect it, and that it can be a slow burn over a lifetime.

Dr Nat Green: 21:09

Yes, definitely.

Karla Warwick: 21:09

So whilst you know the experiences that I had with my children. Weren't great at the time. They were not things that I had thought had affected me too badly until very recently. And I had a workplace experience last year where I was clearly burnt out and, the burnout came for a number of different reasons. It was the pace that I'd worked pretty intensive. Environment. High demand. High tempo. And I had been doing it for quite a long time.

Dr Nat Green: 21:40

Yes.

Karla Warwick: 21:40

And we'd undergone significant changes over a number of years. And I also had started having a terrible time with perimenopause. Which is more than hot flushes and. And temper swings, mood swings certainly

Dr Nat Green: 21:54

Isn't it?

Karla Warwick: 21:54

It wasn't, and you name it, and I had it. So I had, fogy, brain joint pain itchiness there was just a whole swag of things, so I was really struggling'cause I didn't I felt like an alien. It was the things that were going on was like, this is not me, what is going on here? And it was really quite difficult. So trying to manage that, get that under control in this very demanding work environment. Then. November, 2023, I had a total hip replacement, so that's major surgery. Coming out of that surgery wasn't good. There were a couple of moments where they pressed the alarm and everybody came in. So it was not the best experience and you literally have to learn to walk again. Yeah. I had been in a situation where I was, I had, I've run half marathons. I was very active at the gym. I certain suddenly couldn't do that anymore and I had to learn to walk again. So all those things was a perfect storm. I was not in the right head space. And then the interaction at the time with my supervisor was not appropriate for the situation that I was in. And I basically went off work for six months. And got to the point where I couldn't get off the lounge. I had I just couldn't, I was mentally and physically totally stuffed, could not function. Couldn't get off the lounge. If I had to leave the house, I would have panic attacks, so I'd have to come back very quickly. I could do a little bit of something around the house and then I was exhausted and I had to go back and sit on the lounge again and have a sleep. And physically and mentally gone, that was it. And I have never ever been in that point in my life. Even when things were difficult with my children, I could still function and I could not function at all last year.

Dr Nat Green: 23:33

So when you look at that, so obviously as you beautifully articulated that perfect storm, so you'd carried this load. The kids, you managed to get through that you kept working, you really continued to achieve amazing things in your career. And your children are beautiful, well adjusted adults, and you've managed to succeed and got them through or helped get them through with community that you've been attached to. So then you get to this point where. Perimenopause is there, plus you've always been highly into exercise. Must have been that lack of exercising as a child that just,

Karla Warwick: 24:21

I saved everything up for being an adult when I could get a medal for crossing the finishing line.

Dr Nat Green: 24:28

Exactly but looking at it as this perfect storm where everything came together, when you look back now six months ago. And you described it perfectly where you were absolutely exhausted and your, the way I would describe it is your nervous system was fried.

Karla Warwick: 24:52

Absolutely. Yeah. Yeah, absolutely.

Dr Nat Green: 24:55

So what did you think was going on at the time?

Karla Warwick: 25:00

Oh, I had absolutely no idea. I was in a total shock. Because I'd never experienced it before, I'd always been able to pick myself up and push ahead and, push past and bury the feelings and just keep going. Just keep going A little bit like Dory, just keep swimming. Yeah. So I was flawed totally because I am look, I'm a high D personality. I focus on achievement, momentum, and outcomes. I. have Always prided myself on being resilient. And I have always been able to get myself out of issues. There's been situations where I, so I took a voluntary redundancy at one point to care for my son. It was an absolute nightmare where I ended up I was on carer payment for a little while, so financially, not in the best situation. Got a job, got made redundant. I had no idea where the next. Paycheck was coming from, but I got myself outta that situation. But last year I sat there and I was like, I have no idea how I'm gonna get outta this. I act. I felt like my career was over. The way that I had received the feedback, I thought, I, look, I must just be. Totally. I'm useless. I completely, and I'm gonna swear I completely suck at what I do. I cannot I have nothing more to give. I felt I was never suicidal. But I felt like if I wasn't here anymore. No one would miss me because I don't bring any value here. There is no place for me in this world. Wow. And that's how bad it felt. Yeah. When you feel like that, you just feel stuck. You, yeah. You just feel this is it. This is my life. This is, I just have to sit here now and wait for nature to take its course. It was horrible. It was the worst feeling. I've. ever had

Dr Nat Green: 26:49

Yeah, so I think, thank you firstly for sharing that. For opening up so vulnerably, because I know as a high achieving professional. It's the complete opposite to what you've always aligned with the whole identity. That you had all these challenges raising kids, yet you persevered and you came through it and got them through it. You've had a marriage breakdown, you got through it, and you moved forward, and suddenly you're on a lounge. Unable to do anything. And I know we chatted a couple of those days and you barely could even speak.

Karla Warwick: 27:27

Yeah,

Dr Nat Green: 27:28

some days. Yeah. So when you look now, what do you think were some of the key components to moving out of that? Or was there a powerful moment or milestone? That stands out for you as to how to, how you got yourself out of that.

Karla Warwick: 27:50

Got out of it. I think it was I guess it sound, it sounded terrible and it was the worst and I would never wish it on anybody, but I'm really grateful that I had that experience because I think that's the magic happens then. Yes, the magic happens when you are. Feeling totally destroyed and you have to rebuild. So it taught me to stop. And all the things that I had been ignoring all these years I had to pay attention to, and I had to go back to basics, and that was listening to my body and my brain because they were fried. They were working in sync and stuff that I had intellectually understood because I've loved this stuff for so long I had not. Internalized or built it into the way that I, into my being. So I had to go back to basics. So that was a really pivotal moment for me because I was forced to face things the way they were for me at that point, and to meet myself where I was and accept it.

Dr Nat Green: 28:55

Interesting. So the advice that you give about professionals when they're working with someone, meeting the parent and the child where they are, was something that you had to take on board for yourself and yeah. Another thing that I just picked up when you were talking then and I'll describe it and see if it feels like it makes sense for you in the work that I do, is around our three brains. So there's the head brain, which is the cognitive stuff, and. Where we make sense of things. There's the heart brain, which is the emotions and where we feel, and there's the gut brain, which is our inner knowing and our intuition. So when someone goes through trauma or adversity, what tends to happen those three brains, at least one, often two of those three brains will shut down. Just so that you can survive and they're disconnected. So we lose the capacity to feel because we wanna protect ourselves. It's too painful to feel. And you said you just quashed those feelings all those years and it was too painful. And too hard because for fear of. Falling apart. Yep. And not being able to do it. So as I say that, does that feel what was going on? That they were disconnected?

Karla Warwick: 30:22

Yeah, absolutely. And again, now that I've started to do the work, I realized how bad I'd gotten. But, and it was definitely, definitely head and heart. Gut as well. I always, I pride myself on my instinct and I'm usually always right. But some of my judgment had gotten really skew if, and I think it's just because these things had all been, I hadn't taken care of myself and they were not in sync anymore. You just had to, you had to just let yourself be there and give it all time to reset. So you know, the check-ins with you, you made such a difference. in my life at that time it was, oh, I'm so grateful for you. And, my husband Simon just let me be, he could see what was going on and he just, ma again, just made space for me to do what I needed to do.

Dr Nat Green: 31:12

And that's important, isn't it? Absolutely. Giving you space and grace, giving yourself permission, but that for him. Yeah. To know that is what you needed and validate that, but allow you to do that when you wouldn't allow yourself to do it.

Karla Warwick: 31:29

Yeah. And in a beautiful way. He would never say, what you should be doing is this ever. He would never do that. He would just, wherever I was, he'd be there and he'd be my support. And if I was a bit grumpy, he wouldn't push me harder. He would. Give me time and accept my apology when I finally offered it up. And yeah, I think it is just about, you just learn so much of yourself and so starting to pay attention to that. So it was things like the TRE exercises that you and I did. It was. The meditation that I was doing where instead of go, being busy all the time, I actually went no. You gotta listen to these feelings. You gotta pay attention to these thoughts. You've gotta start letting that heart open up a little bit and let those feelings out. And they, that was really, it was tricky because, I'm starting to do that a little bit more, but it actually literally hurts my heart to do that. Yes, definitely. I get this. Isn't that incredible? Like it's, and I'm not having a heart attack or anything like that, but it's just when you turn and face those feelings and you start saying, you know what? That was really hard for you. Yes, you did an amazing job. Or go back even further to, an 8-year-old kid bullied chronically by people who were meant to be my friends. That would've been just so hard for you at eight. That was a really unkind thing people did to you then. That's so cruel. You deserve much better than that.

Dr Nat Green: 32:53

Yes.

Karla Warwick: 32:54

And when you start saying that to yourself, my heart literally hurts. Because I had buried it so deep for so long. Even now it's hurting a little bit, but it's much better than it was. Yeah, it's just giving yourself the time and the grace, as you said, to do the work. And I think the other thing that's really important, you did a beautiful job managing me here or saying is it the right time for that? Because you know the High'D' in me or the the

Dr Nat Green: 33:20

perfectionist, oh, did I say that?

Karla Warwick: 33:22

I am a perfectionist and I know it, and I'm working on that. The trauma archetype that I am, which it's, this is the brain, it's escaped me. Who, which is about that. Have to move all the time and get that momentum you don't, because you would say, is that the right time for this? And I'd go, yeah, you're probably right. I need to pause a bit more and not rush. Not rush my healing and not rush to get back feeling like I'm ready to, get back into the workforce and save the world because I wasn't ready.

Dr Nat Green: 33:52

When you look back now, had you done that, where would you be now? Had you pushed yourself back on the lounge yeah. Like you'd done all your life. Yeah. Because that's, and let's be honest, that's what we were shown. That's what we were told. That's what we thought we had to do. Yeah. Growing up, people just pushed through things and kept going. Yeah. And it's only now with things that have been learned and the understanding of our nervous systems and somatic work that we can go, hang on. mmmm we owe it to ourselves, our families, the people that we love and that love us back, that we need to really do the work on ourselves. Yep. To move forward. Yeah. I take my hat off to you because you did the work. It's okay. You needed a little bit of adjustment along the way. But don't we all, none of us are perfect, and I just wanted to do a big shout out. To you here that Karla, for those of you listening, is the amazing editor of the Break Your Trauma Cycle book, and it's thanks to her that this got off the ground and it was really also good in that it worked to help you understand

Karla Warwick: 35:15

Oh, absolutely.

Dr Nat Green: 35:16

Trauma archetypes too, didn't it? And how you can move. From trauma and being not in a great place and accelerate that into post-traumatic growth because we're only talking six months ago and here you are now working and moving towards thriving again, aren't you?

Karla Warwick: 35:36

Yeah, absolutely. And I think you're right. The book, the work that you do taught me so much about myself working on the book with you, saved me. Because it made me realize that I'm actually not totally bad at what I do. I don't completely suck. I actually have some skills. And it was also reconnecting with things that give me passion and joy. And I had lost that in my work. Being able to find that again was the catalyst for me to then just take that little step and then that little step further and be where I am now, which is where I know what my purpose is. I know what my values are. I have a manifesto. I am clear on where I'm heading, but I also know that I still have things that I need to do to care for myself. So that's that self-compassion. I was away last week for work and it completely flawed me so I have to remember that I'm not yet ready to be the person who's gonna go and shove on the Cape and take over the world and save everything.

Dr Nat Green: 36:35

Not today. Not today. Tomorrow, maybe

Karla Warwick: 36:38

I am human and that is beautiful. And that means I need to stop and look after me as well.

Dr Nat Green: 36:44

Oh, I love that so much. And I think there is so much we can all learn from that. As you said, it sounds a bit weird that the trauma taught you so much and there was this gift, but it's what all our guests report. It's what I've noticed myself that as awful as it is, and we don't wish trauma on anyone, but life happens and things happen and we are able to see gifts when we look closely enough. Yeah. That it's given you the capacity to slow down. Yeah. Reconnect with yourself, improve your relationships with other people, and. Get back to working in a way that you are giving to other people but not at your own expense. Would that be right?

Karla Warwick: 37:37

That is absolutely right. And I think I would also say trust in that process. Yes. Because when you're in where I was, you don't see any positive future ahead. But I trusted you and I trusted the support that I was tapping into through work. Trusted that my firm view is always the universe gives you what you need when you need it. Yes, at the exact time that you need it, it'll come. And so I hung onto that view, even though I felt really hopeless at times and helpless, I still trusted that. And so I think trust the process and then know when you do all that work you can bring your whole self to a situation and that includes giving to yourself so you get value out of what you give. But you don't lose yourself in it.

Dr Nat Green: 38:29

And I know you know, most of the people that I have as guests on the podcast and that huge group of listeners are people that are renowned as helpers. Givers. So what Karla has just told us and shared with us is so important. I'd love for you to share that again. What is the key takeaway message for the helpers, the healers, the helping professionals. What did you just share?

Karla Warwick: 39:00

Don't lose yourself when you are giving. Make sure that you give to yourself. And know your value. Know that what you are doing is making a difference to people's lives and make sure that you're making a difference to your own life as well.

Dr Nat Green: 39:16

Oh, gold. Absolutely gold. I absolutely love that. That is priceless. I think once we recognize that, and that is the gift that your awful experiences. Have taught you and enabled you to grow and become the best version of yourself. So could you maybe, do you think there's anything else that you would say is an attribute or something that you'd see as a quality that is key for helping people move from trauma into post-traumatic growth? Any other gems for us?

Karla Warwick: 39:54

Yeah. That's a tricky question. I'm not quite sure I no, I think it's find what works for you? So I really loved your book and I loved exploring the strengths of the different trauma archetypes and then the areas that an archetype can focus on to help them grow. And that it, for me, it held up a mirror. So it was good for me to start taking the time to understand myself better. Okay. And then following on from this year was also, working with a coach and it was a different approach to the one that you did, but it still worked for me. So it's for the person going through that experience. And I think then for someone who's providing that, is knowing that there's no one size fits all and you need to work with an individual on, the things that are interesting to them and that sort of, the little nugget that's going to be the, make the difference in their lives. And you have the different tools in your toolkit, but also accept that sometimes the time has come for them to move on because you've done all you can for them and they can, someone else needs to do it. So I was able to pick up stuff from you. Stuff from the coach that I worked with this year, her name's Therese Toohey. And again, between the work I did with you and the work I've done with her, my life has just changed. Dramatically. And I think that just doing all that and being open to doing the work and open to. Doing things that are a little bit uncomfortable for you and that challenges your personality, so breaks your behaviors and your habits. And then does things like forcing you to have a look at things in a way that you have been trying really hard not to look at for over 30 years. Yeah. But funnily enough, if you do that and you follow that process and you trust in it actually. Is life changing. It is quite remarkable. And all of a sudden a situation where you feel helpless and hopeless and everything is done, you are, that is it that your whole career, your whole sense of who you are is over suddenly becomes, actually, no. I know who I am. I know myself better than I have ever known myself before. I and I know firmly what I bring. And, I know therefore where I want to be and who I wanna be with, what my purpose in life is, how I wanna work, and how I wanna see out the next 30 years of my career in such a way, or maybe not 30, 30 retirement, maybe 15, but whatever it is yeah, you just, that that's how your life changes. I think that, yeah, just being able to really give yourself the time and the space to connect with who you really are and do the work and yeah. I, you won't regret it.

Dr Nat Green: 42:44

I love that. Yeah. Such wise, resilient sage advice that one. Fancy. That

Karla Warwick: 42:54

fancy me being a sage.

Dr Nat Green: 42:57

Yes. And again, working out what you need and being willing to do the work are key. So I know that you've recently got some very exciting news about some additional areas that you are paying things forward with because of. Some of the experiences you've had in your life. So as we move to wrapping this conversation up, tell us a little bit about that and where can our listeners find out more about you and find you online.

Karla Warwick: 43:35

So my purpose is to enrich lives, and that is not through grand gestures, but that's in everyday interactions. So if I can make someone's day and then they can make someone's day, then we can affect change in a really powerful way. And one of, so when I make decisions about where I'm gonna put my energy in, that's what I decide. Is this gonna enrich someone's life? And is that going to then inspire them to do that with someone else? Yeah. So very recently, I became a registered marriage, celebrate because I do, even though things didn't work out as I would've liked the first time, I firmly believe in love and I firmly believe in marriage. So if I can help a couple have a ceremony that reflects their personalities and their journeys and make it a memorable day for them, then for me, that just brings the happiness to my life that I hadn't been getting it in other parts professionally. I am going to start looking at ways that I can use my experience with my children to to recognize what parents are going through, to give them an opportunity to express how they're feeling, and if I can then affect change in a more robust way through policy and even just raising awareness then I'm going to start doing that as well. So in terms of where people can find me My celebrant business is called Celebrant Karla, so it's celebrantkarla.com.au and in terms of whether people would be interested in me speaking about my experience and then drawing learning from that, then just look for me on LinkedIn. Okay. And I'll put all those links and information in the show notes. Yes. So thank you so much. Now I, I do like to often finish with a question, and I'd like to ask you, Karla, what do you think your younger self would think of what you've achieved today? I think she'd be surprised. I don't think my younger self had any idea what life was like. My younger self certainly didn't believe that she was capable of anything. That whole feeling of I'm not worthy.

Dr Nat Green: 46:07

Yeah.

Karla Warwick: 46:10

And I think she would look at it now and she would just be completely blown away by what I've done, where I am. Yeah. And feel hopeful because my younger self felt not very loved and not, not much needed in the world, and I think she would look at me now and go that's turned out really well for you, hasn't it? I'm pretty proud of you.

Dr Nat Green: 46:38

And can I just say that I'm extremely proud of you too?

Karla Warwick: 46:41

oh you are beautiful. Thank you.

Dr Nat Green: 46:43

What you have achieved, particularly in this last six months from where you were only six months ago. Yeah, is phenomenal and it just gives so much hope. So thank you so much for sharing your wisdom, your journey, and everything with all our listeners today. I am really grateful and it's been an absolute pleasure chatting with you today. Thank you.

Karla Warwick: 47:07

Oh, thank you for having me on your show, my beautiful friend. I listen to you all the time. Never thought I'd be here, but hopefully your listeners can gain something from my experience. Oh, you've given a lot of wisdom and a lot of gold nuggets that will help many people as they navigate whatever journeys they're on at the moment. So thank you. You have a great day.

Dr Nat Green: 47:29

You too. Bye for now Thank you for joining me in this episode of Growing Tall Poppies. It is my deepest hope that today's episode may have inspired and empowered you to step fully into your post-traumatic growth, so that you can have absolute clarity around who you are, what matters the most to you, and to assist you to release your negative emotions. And regulate your nervous system so you can fully thrive. New episodes are published every Tuesday, and I hope you'll continue to join us as we explore both the strategies and the personal qualities required to fully live a life of post-traumatic growth and to thrive. So if it feels aligned to you and really resonates. Then I invite you to hit Subscribe and it would mean the world to us if you could share this episode with others who you feel may benefit too. You may also find me on Instagram at Growing Tall Poppies and Facebook, Dr. Natalie Green. Remember, every moment is an opportunity to look for the lessons. And to learn and increase your ability to live the life you desire and deserve. So for now, stay connected. Stay inspired. Stand tall like the tall poppy you are, and keep shining your light brightly in the world. Bye for now.