Why Comfort Creates Suffering

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Welcome to the Dream Nation Breakfast Club. I am your host, Josh Valentine. And if you're new to the Breakfast Club, welcome. We gather together every single Tuesday at 7:00 AM Eastern to cover everything, personal development, life coaching, and so much more. And today we have a really value packed session for you guys and today's topic is going to be why comfort creates suffering. So we have some life hacks and fun facts that we're gonna jump right into. The very first life hack is the two minute reflection trick. So the two minute reflection trick I actually came across this hack recently. I thought it was pretty good. Before bed, the idea is to reflect on one thing you are proud of and one thing you learned. It helps you end the day on a growth focus note and really good. By the way, so one of the things like yesterday I just listed all of the things that I'm proud of. Sometimes I. We beat up on ourselves because we felt like we weren't as productive as we could have been. And when you take some time to really identify all of the things that you're proud of, sometimes it's just showing up for yourself. Sometimes it's that workout, sometimes it's that phone call. Sometimes it's last night for example I read my kids bedtime stories and after what I've been doing lately is just implementing prayer. And it's been a really great opportunity for me to connect with my kids because I'm usually working all throughout the day. Having certain things that you can do throughout the day that you feel proud of. And for those of you who follow my work that I oftentimes bring up the five Fs. And the five Fs is a really great way to compartmentalize your day. So you essentially think of it in five different categories, and that's your faith. I. Your fitness, your family, your fortune and your fun. And your faith of course, is everything spiritual. Your fitness is mentally emotional and physical fitness. Your family and your family is the relationship category. So it can be family and friends. And I know I have some family actually coming to visit us from New York. Really excited. My mom, my sister, and my sister's friend, they're all coming to visit from New York today. So getting ready for that. And we have the fortune, which is everything centered around your work or your career or how you go about your legacy, all of that stuff. And then fun is everything, lifestyle. So yesterday as I was doing this exercise in the evening, just thinking about all of the things that I'm proud of for the day and all of the things that I'm happy that I followed through on. There were tons of things that came about. And it's a really great exercise because it calms your nervous system when you are in a state of gratitude or appreciation. It you have to understand that two thoughts and emotions cannot occupy the body and mind at the same time. So whenever you're in a state of gratitude, of appreciation, of just joy or peace, then it's very difficult to also be in a state of anxiety, worry, overwhelm. So that's one of the benefits of just taking some time to reflect on all of the beautiful aspects of the day. And when I reflected on it, I'm like, man, even though I wasn't as productive as I would've liked to be when it comes to just, let's say business stuff, but when I thought about and reflected on all of the other aspects of my life that I was just proud of, I had like prayer, meditation, I had exercise for the day, I went for a walk for the day. I connected with my kids in the evening. I took some time to do content creation and all of these other aspects. And the idea is. Really reflecting on things that you did throughout the day that your future self would thank you for. So if you're exercising, of course your future self probably would thank you for exercising. It's think of all of the things that you are you're grateful for today. All of the things that you're grateful for today are things that your past life essentially, and when I say past life, I'm talking about maybe you a year ago or you three months ago, or just you even last week. The things that you did that sowed the seeds of the very things that you get to enjoy today. So if, for example, you have a really great physique, chances are you probably paid your dues at some earlier date. If you have an amazing family dynamic, chances are you've paid your dues in sacrifice. If you have really great finances and you're doing well financially. It's probably because of good stewardship. So there are things that you can do today, for example, that your future self would thank you for. And my question for all of you is what are you going to do today? And what's what are some of the things that you can do that your future self will thank you for? Whether that's a workout, whether that's going out on a date with your spouse, or taking some time to eat healthy, whatever it is, but do something today that your future self can benefit from. Okay? So hopefully that's making sense there. Next we have, oh, and by the way just even reflecting on something that you learned, if you know that at the end of the evening you're gonna be, let's say, reflecting on something that you learned and it helps you set your intention. For the day, just looking and probing for things that you could actually learn throughout the course of the day. So that also most certainly helps as well. Alright, the next life hack we have is a body language boost. So before a big meeting or a task hold a power pose for two minutes, it increases confidence and reduces stress. And this is scientifically proven. So a power pose is essentially a pose that puts you in a peak performance state. So there's a really good YouTube video. I believe it was a Ted Talk by, if I'm not mistaken, it's Amy Cudi. You guys can look it up, but it's on power posing. And the idea is if you, let's say stand in a pose, like they call it the superman pose, where you have your hands on your hip and your chest is up, your shoulders are rolled back. Oftentimes what happens is you have a biochemical shift in your body. You have a boost in dopamine. Like even me doing it right now, I could feel the difference just by being in this power pose and just know that your emotional state, oftentimes there are three things that dictate the way you feel at any given moment in time, and those three things are your body or your physiology, what, how your body is moving in the moment. Remember, a body in motion stays in motion. Oftentimes when you find yourself depressed or anxious, look at what your body or observe what your body is doing in that moment. Like yesterday, I started to feel a little bit low and I realized I started to feel low when I was on the couch, just slumped over on the couch, not really being in a peak state. So whenever you have to get yourself motivated or you have to get yourself excited about something, start with your body is one of the best things that you can do. The second thing is your focus. What is it that you're focusing on? Because think about it, o oftentimes, whenever you have negative feelings or negative emotions, chances are it's because of what you're thinking about in that moment. It's almost impossible to, let's just say, feel feelings of joy while thinking the pressing thoughts, right? So if you want to feel a certain way, start with not only your body, but also what you're focusing on in that moment. And remember, two thoughts cannot occupy the mind simultaneously. So if you're thinking things that are uplifting, things that are positive, then chances are it's going to have a direct reflection on the way that you feel in the moment. That's why personal development is so important. Think about it. For those of you who are consistent attendees of the Breakfast Club session. Think about how you feel directly after the Breakfast Club. Chances are you feel a lot more productive. You feel ready to take on the day and a lot more motivated. So the idea more than anything is to flood your mind with as much positivity as possible. Remember, greatness in greatness out garbage and garbage out. So the more you flood your mind with things that are positive, the more you're going to feel a lot better throughout the course of the day. This is why oftentimes I'll recommend staying off of let's just say social media to a certain degree. There. You can work out your social media in such a way where you actually tune into a lot of motivational stuff. So be mindful at what pops up in your algorithm or what pops up on your newsfeed. Like I would highly suggest if you come across something that's negative, lower vibrational, something that's just not positive, I would put there there's a special tab on there where you can just select to not see posts like that anymore. I believe it's on the top right of every post. So you can select and tell the algorithm the type of content that you wanna see. So whenever I jump on my newsfeed today, I'm seeing friends traveling around the world. I'm seeing friends that are. Let's say accomplishing things or just motivational content, inspirational or educational content, all of these things pop up on my timeline. The algorithm knows what you like, but again, if you don't if you aren't intentional about going about your social media by design, then you'll go about your social media by default. And the default settings is always going to let's just say throw things at you that aren't necessarily positive. Because think about it, our brain, naturally, it gets hooked on negativity. That's why on the news, I. Fear sells. Like the news is always talking about the, some of the most horrific things that you could possibly imagine. And there are a lot of amazing things that happen every single day, but you don't hear about it as much because fear sells and the media understands this. So that's why when it comes to just the news, be very mindful at how you consume news. Now, if you need the news for, let's just say staying up with the economy and global politics and things like that for your work, that's a different story. But if you're just consuming the news to see what local homicide took place, then I would highly suggest staying off the news. That way you're constantly flooding your mind with positivity. So next up, we have another life hack, which is. Oh, by the way, I didn't mention the third thing in the triad. So it's body, it's focus, and then it's language. And the language is your self-talk. The way you speak about yourself, your situation, the types of language that you use. It's always important to be mindful at. The way you interpret the way things that the way you interpret the way things mean in your life. So words have power, and you can speak life into your situation. You can speak death into your situation. And it is essential to be very mindful at the fact that your words have power. And that's why in the Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz, really phenomenal book, he talks about being impeccable with your word, not only with your self-talk, but the way you just communicate in the world, how much positivity that you're putting out in the world. And you'd be amazed at how much gossip, lower vibrational conversations, how much this ultimately has an effect on your wellbeing. So it is really essential to, to always speak positively of people like talk, to be the person that talks good about people behind their backs, not the person that's constantly just bringing people down. Okay, so next we have. Talk to yourself in the second person. This is another life hack. So instead of saying, I can do this, say you can do this, because apparently studies have shown that it improves performance and motivation. So yesterday I actually tried that. I was in Starbucks and just getting some work done, and I was just like, okay. I was like, Josh, you got this, Josh, you can do this. And it's almost like. You coaching your inner child that's afraid to put in the work, right? You're like coaching yourself. And think about it. If you go out, if you go throughout the course of the day, and sometimes you may say, I got this, or I'm strong enough, I'm capable. But it also is helpful to just speak to yourself in the second person. If your name is Tom, like Tom, you got this brother. It's you almost as if you're speaking as a coach, as a mentor, as a parent. And you would encourage your child, encourage your mentee, encourage your protege, whoever it is that you're leading in such a way where it's uplifting. So sometimes it is beneficial to talk to ourselves like that and to speak life into our situation. For me, it's almost as if like you're talking to your inner child because there's that part of you that is afraid to take action. That part of you that does feel like he or she isn't enough. So it's almost as if you're speaking directly to that inner child, like separating yourself from that inner child, and it's a beautiful way to connect in a sense back to yourself by speaking in the second person. Next, we have some fun facts, so here we go. People who smile, even when they don't feel like it actually start to feel happier. Your body can trick your brain into a better mood, so it goes back to your physiology. They actually have done studies where they've had people put pencils. And hold pencils with their mouths because it forces your mouth to smile. And they've done studies on just the, I don't wanna call them patients, but the people that they were testing, they did studies on their biochemistry and the way that they felt directly after taking the pencil out of their mouth. So they did a study with people holding the pencil in their mouths, right? And people who didn't have the pencil, people who just frowned, right? So they had two test groups and the test group that literally had the pencil in their mouth were drastically happier. And they felt a lot better after the experiment was done. So it is scientifically proven that if you just smile a lot more, force yourself to smile as much as possible. I had learned this from my mentor. My mentor in a very weird way. Like you always see him smiling, but. He had learned the biochemistry of of smiling, the power of smiling and how it affects your overall mood. And not only that, smiling is contagious. Many people, you're gonna attract a lot more people in your life when you just have a smile on your face and it, it's amazing at how much smiling also affects the mood of other people. Think about it. Whenever you see someone in public and you just give them a smile, they give you a smile back, it always feels really good. So there's power in just making a habit out of smiling. Next we have your brain can't tell the difference between a real experience and one you vividly imagine. So visualization isn't just fluff, it's mental rehearsal for greatness and visualization. Guys, it is everything visualization. Think about it when you mentally rehearse. Pretty much anything in your life. Like before I was speaking on stages around the world I'd be taking a shower and just visualizing myself in a stadium, speaking just to people, thousands of people all around the world. And one day it actually happened. And like I would think of myself, for example the car that I wanted to drive, the very vehicle that I drive today, I visualize myself in that vehicle every single day. Because what happens is many of you have probably heard me bring up the reticular activating system in your brain, your RAS. It's that ingenious part of your brain that filters out all of the thoughts that aren't predominant thoughts in your brain. So its job is to pretty much focus on whatever your predominant thoughts are. So it's if you are becoming obsessed with buying a certain vehicle and now all of a sudden you see that vehicle everywhere you go, or maybe you just bought a handbag. And now you see everybody wearing that handbag. The thing is, tho those vehicles, those handbags were always there. It's just your RAS wasn't locked in on that specific thing. So that's the power of visualization is when you obsess over a specific vision and you mentally rehearse it, then your brain is going to filter out everything else and just focus in on that, and you're going to ultimately attract a lot of circumstances to you. So that's the science behind attraction because think about it. If for example, you now have a love for real estate, now everywhere you go, real estate, real estate developments happening, opportunity and you're naturally going to gravitate to environments with other people in real estate. So those people pretty much are on the same frequency. They're thinking about the same exact thing, and you guys are drawn to each other, and that's how attraction ultimately works. So it's a lot more, more practical and scientific than it is mystical. There's a lot of science behind why attraction is so powerful and how it ultimately works, the science behind it. So next we have another fun fact. Thomas Edison failed over 1000 times before inventing the light bulb. What if your thousand and first try is the one that changes everything? And this is more so encouragement for those of you who've been on the grind. And I know what it's like to just constantly be going after the dream. And I love there's a meme on the internet that goes over the idea of being three feet from gold. And there's a meme with a guy with a pickax and he's just. Over there chipping away, looking for these diamonds and treasures. And there's a guy that literally, there's another one in the same meme of the guy walking away defeated with the pickax. And then you see the other guy that's like going after it, like he is relentless. And the idea of the meme, really the message behind it is you never know when you're just three feet from gold. There's actually a story of a gold miner that stopped digging three feet from gold. That's where the idea comes from. And another guy came in and took over the gold mine and ended up finding the very treasure that the guy before was looking for the entire time. So sometimes we're just three feet away from the treasure that we're looking for, the breakthrough, the miracle. And it is important to just stay chipping away, continue on the path, because you may be a lot closer than you realize. At any moment in time, things can change, but you have to stay diligent. You have to inhale faith, exhale works. That's the idea. Faith in works. They go hand in hand. They work together in, in synchrony, in they're synchronous in a sense, right? If that's even a word, but they work in harmony with one another. That's really what I'm trying to say here. And it is essential to have the faith that you'll eventually get to the final destination, but you have to continue to stay in the work and don't just stop right before the breakthrough occurs. Okay, so next we have, let's see. We have some, a few more shares before we jump into today's meat and potatoes of today's breakfast Club here. The very first share that we have is balance, courage, and consideration. Balance, courage and consideration. And this is from the Seven Habits of Highly Effective People. The flashcards. So they have the book, but they also have the flashcards. That's actually one of the very first books that I read in personal development when I was in college, and I would highly recommend it. How To Win Friends and Influence People. Really great book by Stephen Covey. Next up we have pick an area where you would like to have more courage. Write down your point of view, share your ideas and opinions with confidence. So what's one area that you would like to have more courage. And it's interesting because confidence oftentimes comes as a result of having courage, of being very intentional about just wearing your heart on your sleeve and pressing forward even when you're afraid. Remember, courage isn't the absence of fear. Courage is feeling the fear and moving forward anyway, that's what courage is, just because. You have a little bit of fear, doesn't make you a coward. Having fear is pretty much a prerequisite oftentimes for getting to the next level because the next level requires you in embarking, in unchartered territory, you embarking on the unknown or in the unknown. So you have to almost get very uncomfortable if you're going to progress in life. And that's why oftentimes it you are a bit fearful because it's territory that you've never been in before. So pick an area where you would like to have more courage, whether that's, let's just say asking that person out. So maybe this is a sign for you to ask that person out on a date that you've been just thinking about, but you haven't mustered up the courage. Or maybe it's moving forward with your business, having the courage to just take that great leap forward. I had, I have a client of mine that I recently started working with in fashion, for example, and it was beautiful because he had been working on this idea on bringing this fashion clothing line to life. And he was just stuck in paralysis of over analysis. And for the very first time, he finally put in his first order to for manufacturing. And it was really exciting to just be a part of that process to help coach him through that process. And after years of just putting it on the back burner. So again, what's one area of your life that you could be a little bit more courageous? Okay, now, next we have, pick a situation where you need to demonstrate more consideration. Focus on acknowledging others, not interrupting. Making sure everyone has a chance to be heard, and this is really great advice for those of you who lead other people. So ask yourself, are there relationships in which you lack courage or consideration? What price are you paying? To be highly effective means to be courageous. We are willing and able to speak our thoughts respectfully. It also means being considerate. We are willing and able to seek out and listen to others thoughts and feelings with respect. So the idea is to be confident, be courageous, but also be considerate because the true measure of the power of a king or queen is in their compassion because you have courage, but any anybody can muster up some courage and get the motivation to take action, but to be able to intertwine courage with consideration. That that's a whole different ball game, and that's true leadership at its finest. Here's a really great quote by Stephen Co. Covey. If people can express their feelings and convictions with courage, balance, with consideration for the feelings and conviction of convictions of others, they are mature, particularly if the issue is very important to both parties. And this also applies to, of course, family life. It is essential to, to just be considerate of taking other people's opinions into account. So the other day I had, I'm told my, my, my son one of my sons he wanted to play video games before his brothers finished their homeschooling for the day. And I basically told him like no, you, you wait till your brother's finished. And then he was just going into why can't I just go upstairs in my room and play while they are down here getting their work done? And then I just went into explanation mode. But I remember being a child, and I'm not sure how many of you can relate to this, but being a child and getting scolded by your parents don't ask me any questions or because I said so. How many of us have heard that as children? Because I said so from our authorities. And it's such a terrible way of going about parenting. Like you could very well just. B let's just say open and considerate of your child and their ideas. Like my my, what I've been doing with my children, because they love playing games. So our agreement now is they have to go outside and touch some grass. Like they, they gotta go outside for at least an hour a day if they wanna play for the second half of the day. So they'll play some games, let's say for the first half, then I have them go outside and play for an hour actually to get out in nature, right? And then they can continue to play games once they get back inside. And the reason why I bring that up is because they were asking me like why do we have to do that? And then I literally go on chat GBT, and I'm going over all of the negative side effects of just playing on video games all day. And then I just read it to them to educate them and give them a better understanding. Hey. You need to take care of your health. Health is a major priority in life. And this is, these are the negative repercussions of not focusing on your health or not getting outside to take a break from the games. And I went over all of the data on the benefits of taking a break and going outside and it made sense for them. And now they don't complain about it. They understand the very reason. So rather than me scolding them don't ask questions, just do what I say it's allowing them to be able to open up dialogue and down the road they'll be encouraged with opening up dialogue on their ideas, their opinions their, let's just say maybe even their criticisms on certain things. But we tend to scold children from the time that they're young and just tell them like not to speak up for themselves and all of that. And it essentially carries on throughout life. And I want my children to always feel. Comfortable enough to bring up their ideas no matter how confrontational or uncomfortable it may seem. So next we have often the metaphors we use in one context such as work are inappropriate for another context such as our relationships, and this is coming from the book, giant Steps by Tony Robbins, by the way. So one man I knew was so emotionally detached that his family didn't feel any connection with him at all. He never expressed his true feelings and always seemed to be directing them. Guess what he did for a living? He was an air traffic controller. The very essence of his job was to remain perfectly calm and detached even in an emergency so as not to alarm the pilots he was directing. While that attitude was necessary in the control tower, it didn't work at home. Do any of the, your metaphors need to be replaced with ones more compatible with your situation. Could you help a friend with this knowledge? So this is really great advice. For example, in the business world, it does help many times to just be a certified trigger puller. Like always just go. And impatient sometimes can serve you because you're always in a state of taking action and executing. But in relationships, that mindset just doesn't work. You start to come off as some type of dictator or almost as if you're being your spouse's boss. And no spouse wants to feel as if their spouse's employee. So it is essential to always. Ensure that you're not bringing that same work energy into your relationships. Okay, so I know I always have to switch the roles, for example. So there are four major archetypes, for example, and these archetypes are like roles that are deeply embedded in our subconscious just through patterns of existence throughout generations. And the four archetypes are the sovereign, so the king or the queen, right? And that king or the queen that dwells within you. And that specific archetype is an archetype that you embody whenever you need to exude leadership, whenever you need to be organized, whenever you need to, let's just say lead people in specific obstacles or whatever, lead them out of a storm. And that would be the role of the archetype. When whenever you're taking charge, then you have. The archetype of the magician and the magician. That could be your creative side, that could be your more intuitive side, your spiritual side, or the side that loves to perform. And of course, that's a completely different archetype than being, let's just say the king or queen. Next we have the warrior. And the warrior archetype is when you have to kick ass and take names. Like the warrior is that fighter spirit within you. That warrior archetype may very well come out when you're exercising. For example, you're in beast mode and you need to be savage. Or maybe you're out there just on the hustle and figuring out how you're going to turn things around in your business. But that's that warrior archetype. And then lastly is the lover. And the lover is the compassionate, loving part of you. So oftentimes what tends to happen is we may be the warrior or the sovereign in the workplace, and then we bring that same warrior spirit. To our significant other, and they just ain't having it because you're being too aggressive. You're not being compassionate and considerate towards your significant other. So that's why it is essential to know how to properly transition from role to role and how to take off the hat of one role and properly transition into the hat of another role. Okay? That's the important thing. And think about it, how much of your work life, how much of your personality at work permeates into your household, permeates into the way you go about your relationships? And it's so crazy how, and I had I made this major mistake throughout the course of my entrepreneurial journey and marriage. So I'd be on, on go mode all day and I'd bring that same tense energy at home. How many of you can relate to that? Where you're at work and maybe you're either taking orders or giving orders and you have to be a certain way. Ladies, you may have to be way more masculine in the workplace. And you bring that same masculine energy to the relationships and then wondering why that relationship isn't working so well because there's no polarity. So it is essential to be able to set your intention whenever you go into, let's just say a different environment, set your intention for how you want to show up, who do you wanna be, but also who you don't want to be roll after roll. And many of us fall into self-sabotage in our relationships because we simply don't know how to transition. From one old energy into a new energy. You never wanna bring an old energy into a new situation because the energy that's required at work or with whatever it is it's going to be a different energy that's required when you need to be loving and compassionate. It's for example I have plenty of students that I certify with coaching, and I have many of my students who have children, and oftentimes I have to explain to them that the, your children don't always want the coach, they don't want mommy or daddy to be their coach. It, it doesn't always work so well. I remember when I first started coaching I literally tried to coach my wife and she was like my first Guinea pig. So I'm like practicing all these strategies and how to deliver a coaching session. So I reached out to like family, I. And some friends to provide like just complimentary coaching just to practice. And I remember coaching my wife and man, it was a disaster. It did not work well at all. Like it was super triggering. And again, because sometimes you can't be a prophet in your own land, sometimes it's yeah, you may have the respect, but that's a completely different dynamic. Your significant other wants a significant other. They don't want necessarily a coach. Now you can have moments where you encourage and you motivate, but you have to be very mindful at how you go about it. You have to wear the hat of the spouse, wear the hat of the parents or the brother or the sister before trying to give any type of unsolicited advice. Okay? And I. Be very conscious of the fact that a lot of people do not want your unsolicited advice. Always ask for permission before you start giving someone advice that they didn't ask for, because most of the time, your friend, your family member, they just want you to listen. They're not even looking for advice. They may be venting. And us men, we're terrible at that. We tend to wanna fix things. We tend to want to offer our unsolicited advice, even when it's just not asked for. So be very intentional about asking people in advance before offering that that advice, I had to learn that over and over again. Next, we have discover and take control of your metaphors with the following exercise. Number one, write down a few of the metaphors you have for life. Review your list and ask if life is like this, how would I feel about it? What advantages and disadvantages are created by this metaphor? So many of you, for example would hear me oftentimes say, man, like this life is heaven on earth. And then it wasn't until life started smacking me in the face like, man, this really ain't feeling like much heaven right now. More like hell when I, when you're in the valley. But because I had always explained my life in that way, it really does make a difference. It like, think about how many people, for example, they'll use metaphors like, life is a battlefield, or love is a battlefield. And the more you say this you like you, you turn it into a self-fulfilling prophecy. Remember what you vocalize? You internalize. So you can always say things like that for example, sometimes people are like. How's life going? Same old shit another day, another dollar or just different sayings, different metaphors and things that we probably heard from our parents, right? And it's almost as how's life going? And life is life in, and I even have to catch myself just saying these things because you'll fall into this space of just attracting the way you describe your situation. Remember the emotion, triad, body focus, and language. Your language will ultimately determine the way you feel or the meaning you give to a specific situation. So does it feel like that? Yes. But does it make it any better? Describing it like that? Probably not. Number two is list all the metaphors. You link to one or two important areas of your life, such as your relationships or business. Are these metaphors empowering or disempowering? Just being aware of them can help you change them. Okay. There, again, there's so many different things that, that we can go into, but the main idea is just being a lot more conscious of your vocabulary. Number three is create new, more empowering metaphors for life and for each of the areas you focus on. So it's there, I love people who are super spiritual and you'll ask them how you doing? Blessed and highly favored, right? Happy to be alive. Life is a blessing and you gotta love people like that. And if you notice, I. These types of people tend to have a piece that washes over them, a piece that permeates through them because of the language that they use, because of their metaphors. Okay, number four is decide you are going to live these new metaphors for the next 30 days. Example would be consistently remind yourself that this is what business is like. So what are your new metaphors, if you can give a metaphor for an area of your life that you really want to improve. For example this is great advice. Sometimes I hop onto breakfast club and I give some of these tools and strategies that I'll read from these books or just from my notes and it's like a reminder to myself. So for example, if you had to give a metaphor that was positive, if you guys don't mind, drop a positive metaphor for relationships or marriage that's positive. Okay, so what could be a metaphor for marriage and try to keep it love and light. Try to keep it positive. What would be a beautiful metaphor? If you had to take on some metaphors for what marriage can be like, right? Because there's, there, of course, there's negative aspects, there's storms that you go through. There's challenges and obstacles that you go through with marriage. But what if there were positive aspects that you had metaphors for of the marriage? So marriage could be sacred, marriage can be worth it. Marriage can be beautiful, or relationships can be rewarding. Relationships can also be great contributors to your success can be great contributors to your, the development of your soul your personal evolution and personal growth. So a lot of these things, ma marriage can essentially be emotional support. You understand? So there's a lot of different ways that you can describe marriage that are also truthful. These aren't things that are necessarily just fluff. There's a lot of truth to it, and it's just we tend to focus on the negative and we get more of the negative. Now, what if there were some, let's say let's say some positive metaphors for work or business. So I love some of these descriptions by the way, of marriage. Someone shares marriage is a fun way to do life. Blissful happiness. Absolutely. Now, if you had some metaphors for work in business, I know for some people. Business can be scary, it can be daunting, it could just suck. Having to like they mentioned in, in my line of work, oftentimes you have to pick up the phone and call potential prospects, right? And the thing about it is I hear how the phone can sometimes be like a it, they say the phone can be like this 500 pound gorilla that you wrestle with, right? And it's like a metaphor for just how difficult it is to go through the rejection, how difficult it is to make that phone call. And for a lot of people it is like that. It's this 500 pound gorilla that you now have to wrestle with. But what if you looked at that phone as a doorway for opportunity? You looked at that phone call as a doorway for freedom, as a doorway for fulfillment. As a doorway for joy, for peace, for contribution, for significance, for impact. What if every single phone call, that was your mindset? What if you, you took life as you know what? Life is a game of interest and every inch that I take is a little bit closer to the goal line. And sometimes you get a yard, sometimes you get a foot, sometimes it's just an inch. But even with an inch, it's still closer to the goal line. So yesterday, for example, I didn't do everything that I wanted to do, but I did a few things. And yesterday it was just a game of inches. I didn't get the whole yard, I didn't get 10 yards or 50 yards. It wasn't the big pass down the field, it was just a few inches. But you know what? It's still an inch closer to the goal line, and it is essential to just. Have these metaphors for life that help give you encouragement, help give you the persistence. It's like the idea of three feet from gold. You just keep chipping away. And that gold is a metaphor for whatever it is that you're working towards. And you can have these metaphors that help you in different areas of your life. So business for example, it doesn't necessarily have to be daunting. Business can be a great adventure. It can be how you serve the world, and business could be like a game. So imagine if you, rather than looking at business as war, what if you just looked at it as a game? What if the way you went about business and challenges in life was like the way you would get to the next level in the game? And you start to. Get fascinated with your frustrations and start to genuinely learn a lot more about life. Learn more about yourself. So imagine if it's like being in a video game this avatar or this character that you are in the video game has certain abilities, certain characteristics, certain traits, certain things that it can do where you probably weren't aware of it until you actually studied the character. Maybe you implemented some of these tools, some of these abilities that this character has. But you have to learn about the character. You have to go out there and you have to experiment. And it's the same when you're looking for treasure or you're looking to get to the next level. You may have to go through all of these different obstacles in the game in order to get to the next level. And that's why life can very well be a metaphor. Or a game can be a metaphor for the way life really is. And it's a lot more fun to look at life like a game as opposed to a battlefield, for example. Alright if you're getting value so far, drop a v in the comments for value. Wanna make sure I'm still with you all. And also guys, we are in the second quarter. I just wanna highlight this before we jump into today's main top topic, which is why comfort creates suffering. We are in the second quarter, and my question to you is, where are you right now on your journey? I. Where are you when it comes to your success? Where are you when it comes to your life? Where are you when it comes to your progress? Where are you when it comes to your new year resolutions that you set earlier in the year? Just take some time to really reflect on that. Are you where you wanna be and in order sometimes to get different, you've gotta do different, and this is my call to action. If you have not ever gone out in your life and seek coaching, consulting, if you've never had the time to sit in with a mentor, sit in with someone that can help you get to the next level, getting around the thinking that outthinks you. My suggestion is get some type of mentorship, get some guidance. Oftentimes, I open up the breakfast club to complimentary coaching sessions, and I just wanna make a call to action. For those of you who've been struggling and you just can't seem to get the results that you're looking for have you embarked on the journey of getting coaching and consulting it? It's mind boggling to me. How many people out there. They wanna get to the next level. And success is about modeling success. Many times. You have to find people who have the results that you're looking for and seek counsel for them, seek advice from them, seek mentorship, coaching from them. And you also have to be willing to invest in yourself. There's just no getting to the next level without taking the time to invest in yourself. And I can't. And whether or not you take it as a sales pitch, it really doesn't matter because at the end of the day, facts are the facts. The people who are operating at the highest level, they invest in themselves and they get coaching, they get consulting, they get mentorship. And my recommendation is if you've never done a coaching session with me, or maybe it's been over six months book my Calendly session. I open up a few slots throughout the course of the week. They fill up really fast. So my suggestion would definitely be book it really quick before it goes, I'll drop a comment in the comment threads for you guys. If you don't see it, for whatever reason, just DM me the word coach. And I'm bringing this up because it's one of the things that I was stubborn with for a very long time. I would not like invest.'cause in my mind I'm like I can get all this free mentorship and information and coaching online. But one thing that I can tell you is the power of accountability is a serious thing. Sometimes the things that we need to do are easy to do. Think about it. If you wanna write a book, it's not that difficult to write a few pages of a book if you wanna launch a podcast. It's not. The process of launching it is not rocket science. If you want to, let's just say, get to the next level in your business, reaching out to prospects, the process of actually doing that thing, it's not necessarily arduous hard labor. But it's easy to do and it's easier not to do. And that's why having accountability, having coaching, there's nothing that's more effective than actually getting coaching. That's why it's called coaching, because a coach represents someone who can help you get from where you are to where you wanna be. And it is essential to, to get coaching at some point in time. So my recommendation, and I charge a lot of money for coaching just so that you know my recommendation, even if you don't go through someone like myself, but finding someone out there that you can learn from that will hold you accountable and give you advice, will call out your blind spots and help you get to where you ultimately wanna be. If what you have been doing simply hasn't been working, then try something different. We're an income tax season. A lot of people are gonna go and spend that money on furniture. They're gonna spend that money on going out to restaurants, probably that vacation. But when was the last time you actually took your money and invested it back into you? You are your most portable asset. You take you wherever you go. So an investment in you is always going to be the best investment you could possibly make. Because think about it. If you are your most valuable asset, you always have the ability to generate more revenue for yourself. An asset is something that can build wealth for you. So you are by it's very definition an asset. My thing is, how valuable is your asset? How valuable is your intellectual property? Are your skill sets. That's why it's important to dedicate your time to the personal development, invest in getting the right coaching and mentorship. I've invested over a hundred thousand dollars in my education, my personal development, mentorship, seminars, audio books, all of that. That's the reason. There's no coincidence. This is not like this didn't randomly happen. The thousands of people that I lead today, it didn't just randomly happen. It came through a series of investing in myself, investing in coaching, investing in mentorship. And the thing about it is people who pay more attention. People who pay more attention. You have to invest in yourself because you're gonna take your personal development and your skills to another level because you care more, because you've invested more and there's just something about investing in yourself. There's a power in that. And if I can identify the main thing that separates those who win versus those who don't. Those who win simply had the courage to invest in themselves. So that's my call to action for you guys. Even if you just jump on for a complimentary coaching session, it's definitely worth it. Sometimes you just need that course correction. You need that guidance. But get around the thinking that is currently outthinking you. Whenever I'm in a storm, I reach out I call up I call on people who are doing better, people who've navigated through storms in life, who in whether it's marriage, whether it's business related, whether it's health related, find people who've already gotten to that destination. That's one of the fastest ways you can essentially collapse timeframes and you can go and get a degree. For example, I, it's funny because I think about my journey. I went to school for international business. I. I had all of these professors that had this employee mindset and they're like teaching me on business with an employee mindset. And I thank God that I wasn't an entrepreneur, like a real entrepreneur. I always had side hustles, but I thank God I wasn't a real entrepreneur when I was in college because I probably would've disregarded a lot of just the employee mindset thinking. And it wasn't until I started getting around entrepreneurs and investing in mentorship and investing in my personal development that I realized oh, this is the real education. Remember, formal education will make you a living. Self-education will make you a fortune. So you have to actively go out there and get the education that is applicable to your line of work, whatever it is that you wanna excel in. It's crazy how much knowledge is actually out there, but people don't apply themselves. If, for example, you know that social media is important today, like social media is the modern day resume. Your brand your digital blueprint, all of that stuff, your brand is your net worth. How valuable is your brand today? If you don't really have a valuable brand? My question is why is that the case? Maybe oh, social media isn't my thing. Entrepreneurship probably also isn't going to be your thing. You have to be willing to adapt. You have to be willing to evolve. You have to be willing to invest in people that can help get you to the next level. I say all that to say whatever area you need to thrive in, whether it's taking your brand to the next level, social media you wanna get into, podcasting, speaking, coaching, all of that stuff hit me up. I'll be more than happy to at least guide you in the right direction. Even if it's a voice note of me giving you some tips, just reach out because I'm fully dedicated not only to just coaching the Breakfast Club community but actively helping you guys get to the next level. I don't want people who are just jumping on consuming information and not applying the information because. Knowledge isn't power. The application of knowledge is power. You have to get the information, but actually apply and execute the information. The worst thing is for you guys to be on here five years straight, 10 years straight, and you're not seeing a drastic difference in your life. So sometimes it is going to be important to really get in the game and actually apply some of these teaching points. Okay. And today it's perfect because we're talking about why comfort creates suffering. Why does comfort create suffering? And I'm excited to jump in today's topic because oftentimes people are just living in their comfort zone, and you think that because you're comfortable that you're in a really good space. But in fact, it's like the analogy of the frog in the boiling water. I'm not sure how many of you guys have heard of this analogy, so before I even jump into that, but if you have any questions, anything like that, whatever it is that you're working on, just hit me up in my dms. Whatever, wherever I am on the internet, you guys know where to find me. Hit me up in my dms. I'll be more than happy to at least give you guidance in the right direction. So I say all that to say there's a frog and boiling water analogy. And the way this analogy works, the story is this. If you throw a frog into water that's boiling, then the frog is immediately gonna jump out of the water, right? If you put it in a pot, in a boiling pot. However, if you put a frog in water that just starts off slightly warm the frog will just coast there and relax in that water and chill. And let's just say you start to heat up the water slightly and the water just continues to incrementally warm up and warm up. Eventually, what will happen is you'll cook that frog. That frog doesn't even notice that it's being cooked because it did not go into boiling hot water. It went into comfortable water, and it was very comfortable in this soothing water, not realizing that the temperature is getting hotter and hotter to the point where the frog ends up getting cooked. And life works a lot like that. Sometimes we don't realize that, oh, we're comfortable, but being very comfortable has a price. You can be there like in, in warm water and things seem nice and you're not putting in the work, you're not sowing seeds for the next winter season, and let's be real. Winter is inevitable. It is bound to come, and you're just like allowing life to kind of fester. And next thing you know, you get smacked out of nowhere and you're like, man, where did this come from? It's because you weren't putting in the work, you weren't training. Remember, you guys hear me oftentimes say in, there's a military saying, the more you sweat in times of peace, the less you bleed in times of war. So whenever times are good, you still need to be working. You can't just be chilling and coasting because you'll end up like that frog and end up cooked because you're allowing these things to just fester and continue to incrementally get worse. So whenever you identify. Certain negative aspects in your life. The best time to kill a monster is before it grows. You don't want to let that monster grow to the point where it ends up consuming you. You have to kill it before it grows. So the main thing is to catch things before they grow. Whenever you have these small little issues there, they may be small in nature, they may be small in that moment, but they start to compound. They start to pick up momentum and eventually it ends up getting to the point where it consumes you because it just, out of nowhere it's like you're, you not taking care of your health. You may think you're getting away with not exercising, right? And not realizing that there's this ease that is growing within your body. You're going day after day, stressing yourself out, not taking care of your health, eating like crap, not taking care of your sleep, and then all of a sudden you get hit with a health diagnosis. And now it's too late. It's too late, the damage has been done. So don't wait for things to get worse. Always train for life. Train for life all the time. Sharpen your mind. Take care of your emotions. Take care of your self-care. And every day be very intentional and adamant about parenting yourself. Sometimes it's just the simple things. Taking care of your sleep, taking care of your hydration, taking care of your diet, those types of things. But also dealing with your stress in a very manageable way. I know some people don't like to use the term manage stress, right? But it's crazy. We live in a generation where even the idea of managing stress is a thing. Imagine telling our ancestors that they had to manage their stress. There was no concept of just being consistently stressed out The way we experience it today, because we live in a modern world, but like we get stressed out over bills and work obligations and things like that. Back in the day it was like many years ago. Yet you may have been stressed out. Our ancestors were probably stressed out in the moment because it was a fight or flight situation. But these days stress is like a dripping faucet. And if you don't tend to that dripping faucet, you're gonna get hit with a water bill out of this world. You don't wanna see that water bill. So you have to do the work necessary to stop that dripping faucet. And that dripping faucet is a metaphor for stress in your life. You're constantly having that drip dripping faucet, and then you get hit with that medical bill 10 years later. Because of that little dripping faucet that's been dripping for years upon years. And those drips may be the daily stress that you feel, those drips may be the alcohol that you consume. Those drips may very well be just the food that you eat. You understand? So hopefully you guys are getting the point here. The biggest thing is to identify whenever you have these small problems and take'em head on. Don't wait. Don't procrastinate on any of these things. Take it head on before it's too late. Okay? And that was a message for someone next. Let's see here. So let's jump right into it. A lot of value shared here today so far, and why comfort creates suffering. We all crave comfort, but what if the very thing we crave is the reason we feel stuck, unfulfilled. Or even anxious. So in today's session, we're gonna dive deep into the hidden dangers of a comfortable life and how it can quietly create suffering in your life. If you're ready to break free from the trap of comfort and step into your power, this session is gonna be for you. So here we go. Most people are chasing a life of ease, of convenience, of comfort. But what if I told you that comfort is one of the biggest traps there is that in trying to avoid pain, we often create more pain in our lives. So today we're gonna explore why comfort actually leads the suffering and what you can actually do about it. Okay, so number one is going to be the illusion of comfort. The illusion of comfort. My question is, what does comfort look like for you? Maybe comfort is Netflix and chilling after a long day of work. Maybe comfort for you is. Watching the football game on the weekends and barbecuing and just hanging out with friends and maybe that's comfort for you. Maybe comfort is staying in that job that you absolutely hate because it's secure and it's safe and you have the benefits and the pension and all that stuff, and very comfortable situation, right? But is that really comfort or is it the illusion of comfort? Think about that. Is your job really secure? I know people who work for government who recently have been laid off thousands. Thousands and thousands of people who thought they had the most secure government job. And guess what? We're still laid off. So is it really security, right? So here's gonna be some of the key points. So Comfort first and foremost feels very safe. It feels familiar, but it's often just a disguise for fear. The sky is for fear. I know I, I coach so many people in this area alone. And I'm gonna explain exactly how it works because I've also been through it. I remember a season of my life when I was first considering retiring for the, from the workforce. Do you wanna know what was preventing me from actually taking that leap of faith? One of the main things that was preventing me from retiring from the workforce was literally my thought that benefits were like everything. So I was like I got these health benefits and I have this pension and I'll be vested in five years. Listen, those are all traps. To have you forget your dreams, benefits, pension, retirement, like I'm all for it. And by the way, if you really enjoy your job, this is not discouragement. This is not for you to leave your job if you actually enjoy it. That can be a beautiful thing. I know many people who many of my friends, they do very well. They have high six figure incomes. They vacation, they have a great quality of life. They take care of their families. So this is not to downplay that, this is to downplay those of you who absolutely dread what it is that you do for work. You don't like your boss, you don't like what it is that you don't feel fulfilled, you don't feel significant, and you are giving away your one precious life because someone at some point in time told you need to have benefits. You need to have a pension. Listen, I have health benefits. My entire family has benefits. We have life insurance policies. We have things that we put in place for down the road. And guess what? We're not relying on a company to provide us for that. Many of you are still paying for your benefits. You still pay a portion of your check for those benefits. Do you know that? In entrepreneurship, you could also pay for your benefits. If you want health insurance, you can pay for your health insurance. There's so many different options out there for you, so don't feel as if you need a company to determine that for you. You can also set up a retirement account, like many of you may have a 401k with your job, but you have things like self-directed Roth IRAs where you can run your entire retirement as an entrepreneur. So don't clinging to this idea. Oh, I have benefits. Listen, that is a trap to. Get you to forget your dreams. And I know so many people who will never leave their job even though they despise their job, but they simply won't leave because of all of the secure benefits that they get. Another thing is people stay in these toxic jobs, unhealthy relationships or even bad habits. Not because they're happy, but because they are comfortable. How many of you have been in a relationship where you simply were in a relationship just because it's what you knew? You were in a relationship Just because it was comfortable. It was just like, yeah. I don't feel like dealing with all that. I don't feel like dealing with a divorce. I don't feel like dealing with a separation. I don't feel like dealing with family and friends asking me what happened? What happened to, to Billy? What happened to Susan? You don't feel like dealing with that. It's just much more comfortable being in that relationship. How many of people drop a one if you know of people? That would prefer to live in a very toxic relationship or live with a toxic person than to leave because they're comfortable. Because it's familiar. I wouldn't even say it's comfortable. Many times it's not comfortable, but it's familiar. And people fear the unknown. People fear the unknown. That's really what it comes down to. So they'd rather settle for the devil They know than the devil. They don't. They'd rather settle for that toxic relationship than to settle for what if I end up being lonely? What if? What if I don't end up having a partner? Or I don't have anyone to take care of me, or I don't have anyone to love me or anyone to be? What if I'm what if I'm alone? Come on. Hello. Who we talking to? Y'all know exactly what I'm talking about. Or even those bad habits that are very familiar, very comfortable. Okay. So that's another idea. It's like I had to give up a lot of things that are comfortable. Like I, I have I, I always I live right next door to a major golf course and I could walk to our golf course here and I drive by the golf course all the time and it's like sometimes I drive by these guys and I'm like, man it's gotta be nice to just not do anything for a couple of hours and just chill and have fun playing golf. And the thing about it is that's cool and all, but I have my path. And my path wasn't necessarily a path that just chose comfort. There will be a time and day for that. If I wanna play golf, yeah, I can, but is it worth it? Not at the expense of my financial security if I'm out here working, building businesses and taking care of things. So again it is important to make sure that you don't necessarily compare yourself to other people's lives. Because you may see them living comfortable, you may see them living secure, but at the end of the day, at what expense is it at the expense of their significance, at the expense of their fulfillment, at the expense of their purpose, of their meaning in life. So do you really envy someone who's living in comfort and security? Something to definitely consider. Now, it's not to say that a life of being uncomfortable, for example, the entrepreneur path, it's not to say that you'll never experience any type of security, but oftentimes discomfort is a prerequisite for getting to the freedom, getting to the security and comfort. So here's a great quote by Joseph Campbell, the Cave you fear to enter holds the treasure you seek. It reminds me of another saying that I had came across on the internet a couple of months ago that. The magic you are looking for is in the work that you're avoiding. Think about that. So the unknown, you have to embark on the unknown. Life begins at the edge of your comfort zone. So going back to my journey when I was 24 years young, and there was a lot of things. So I was a brother that came out of the hood. Like I grew up in the hood. No one in my family had ever worked a high, like six figure job or had ever gone off to college or anything like that. And I grew up very humble beginnings. And for me, going off to college, I was in a space where, okay, I graduated, I had this, I had these, the college degrees, I had a Coast Guard license and I was working, making a high six-figure income. I had the benefits, I had the pension, all of that. And the idea of letting that go was like, man I had transcended poverty. And I had gotten myself out of the hood and made something of myself. So to let it go, it was a big deal for me at the time. But and then to grow up around people that praised benefits. It was like, if you grew up, for example, for those of you who grew up in the city you probably have heard people like get your get a city job because the city jobs always had the very best benefits they had, like all the best retirement packages and the best benefits, but at what expense? It's like they give you all of that to justify that the crap pay that you're gonna be making that little salary, that baby salary that you're gonna be making, paying the majority of it towards taxes. So they keep you in and reel you in with these benefits and with these pensions and all of these different things that they have in place for you. So it's, again, it's not to say that it isn't a viable path, but at what expense, if you wanna live a life of greatness. You have to embark into the unknown. And it, that's why it's so important to get the mentorship, because the mentor is someone that's going to say, Hey, I've been here. I know how to navigate through this, take this way, do this, study this right? Implement this. And it's someone that can help you navigate through the dark. Sometimes the mentor is the greatest compass that you could possibly have because the mentor will show you the way. It's like being a, it is like the mentor being a guiding light, navigating through the darkness, navigating through the unknown, right? That's the power of mentorship. Okay, so the next segment is going to be on how growth demands discomfort. It. It just doesn't it, it doesn't recommend discomfort, growth demands, discomfort, so every form of personal growth. Whether it's physical, think about it, whether it's physical, mental, emotional, or financial. All of these things require discomfort in order to thrive in any of these areas, how could you possibly thrive without being a little uncomfortable? For example, physical, you may have to if you want the six pack abs, if you want to be shredded, if you want the small waist, if you want the big muscles, you're going to have to get very uncomfortable. You're going to have to really break down that muscle and you're gonna have to put in that sweat equity to get the results that you're looking for. If it's physical, if it's mental, then think about it. Sometimes like college for example, for me, getting a formal education, getting a college degree, I. I really had to stress. I stretch myself and stress myself. I can remember countless nights that I stayed up all throughout the night just writing assignments, and it was a mental marathon, if you will, emotional. Think about it many times to get to the next level emotionally, you have to heal certain traumas that you had from childhood, and it's very uncomfortable sometimes you go through the dark night of the soul, you go through spiritual warfare, you go through all of these different things to break through to the next level. What about financial? Sometimes when you wanna get your financial household in order, you have to commit to a budget, and it's uncomfortable saying, no, it's uncomfortable not buying the things that you wanna buy, not going out to the restaurant, not being able to splurge on yourself. It's very uncomfortable to really break through financially. But all of these things require discomfort. There's just no getting around it. So whether you're an entrepreneur, whether you're an athlete, an artist, every last one of these professions have to push through pain in order to grow. So pray pain is a prerequisite for growth there. There's no way I wish I could dress it up and tell you some, like new age you can manifest all positive vibes and all of this and attract all of this. And listen, every great person I know has gone through a lot of discomfort. They're gonna have to break through a lot of discomfort. Now, does positive thinking help? Does visualization help? Does affirmations help? Yeah, it works until it doesn't work. It works until you're in a space where you're going through the dark night of the soul, you're in the valley and you're down and out, and all of these things go out the window. And then you have to reintroduce yourself to these concepts to help get yourself back on an upward spiral. So just know that. The path that you want to get through. Like there, there's just going to require a lot of resistance along the way. And it's a good thing because that's what cultivates your character. That's what builds the resilience in your life. So understand that discomfort is a signal that you are stretching your identity, you are breaking through to the next level. And the beautiful thing about discomfort is the hard is what makes your opportunity and opportunity. Because if it were easy, everybody would have it. It's what makes you appreciate and value the everything that you have. Think about everything that you value. Like for example, one of the things that I've been reflecting on recently is how difficult it is to sustain a family, especially in today's economy. How difficult it is to sustain not only a family financially, but also a family with love, a family that everybody actually loves each other. You have to nurture that. You have to dedicate time and put in time, for example, with your children and put in the time necessary in order to build a great family. Everybody sees, oh the husband and the wife and the beautiful kids, and they have such a beautiful family. They don't realize, oh, that's work. How many of you have families? And can relate that, oh, it is work. You have to have a lot of hard conversations. Most of the marriages or the families that you guys admire. I can assure you it requires a lot of work, a lot of dedication, a lot of sacrifice. So it's again, one of those things where it is beautiful, but it's beautiful because of the sacrifice. It's beautiful because of the resistance you have to go through in order to get it to where it needs to be. Okay, so remember, you can't transform and stay the same, and comfort wants you to stay the same. That's just what it is. And it's, there's nothing necessarily wrong with that, but just know that staying the same, it's like you could very well stayed there, but which life would you be more proud of? The life where you just lived in comfort and security or the life of service and adventure. When you're 90 years old and you're there at the tail end of your life, which life are you genuinely going to be more proud of? You have to push yourself. You have to push the boundaries and this is nothing more than your survival mechanism trying to keep you alive. That's really what it comes down to. Your brain isn't designed to make you happy. Your brain is designed to keep you alive. That's what it's, that's what it's designed for. So when you find yourself in a space where. You're wanting to be the same as really just your body. Just okay, that's unfamiliar. Let me not go there. I may run into some damn saber two tiger or something in the unknown. So it's doing, its very best to keep you from it. So it's not necessarily a bad thing it's you genuinely wanting to stay alive. However, you're soul is calling for the next level. Your soul is calling for greater expansion. Your soul is call calling for greater alignment with who you were meant to be. Next, we have comfort breeds, complacency and regret. So remember, comfort makes you passive. And it kills ambition. It kills ambition. So think about this, when you think about. For example one of my businesses brought in significant residual income being income that would come in whether or not I even worked the business. So if I decided to take a four week sabbatical and not do any work, the business still brought in revenue. And one thing that I can tell you is there was nothing that made me softer than that residual income. No disrespect it's a beautiful thing. It was freedom. Like my wife, we were able to have our three kids in about a four year window. We had the three kids and none of us had to report to a job because we had residual income, right? My, my wife never, there was no concept of maternity leave when my wife got pregnant. Like the concept of her having to go back to work right after our child, that wasn't a thing for us because of residual income. However, that residual income ended up being a double-edged sword because I found myself years later not putting in the work necessary to get to the next level. So sometimes I believe that God sees us in this beautiful, comfortable boat and we're just like sailing off into, at least we think we're sailing off into the horizon, but we're just coasting, right? And you're there and you're enjoying the beautiful sun, the beautiful day. Maybe you're fishing and you're just chilling and that very boat, you don't realize that boat doesn't have a sail on it. That boat doesn't have a rudder. That boat doesn't have a propeller. That boat ain't taking you nowhere. It's just subjected to the elements, whether that's the wind or the storms or the whatever. And I just firmly believe that sometimes we see that other boat and that other boat is like a work boat. You may be on this fancy like leisure vacation type of boat. But then you see another boat, and that boat is actually there's major work. It's a work boat, right? Like when many of you sailed on cruise ships I actually sailed on like tugboats and training ships and things like that, like commercial vessels and its work. But that boat is very intentional on its destination, right? It has propulsion. And I believe that sometimes God sees us on our comfortable boat that just is there floating. And he pushes us off the damn boat, and sometimes we don't know how to swim. He pushes us in order to force us to learn how to swim. It's like the crazy parent that throws their child in the ocean. And I believe my wife learned how to swim that way, like in The Bahamas, like her dad just threw her in the ocean, or our uncles or something like that, threw her in the ocean. And she was forced to learn how to swim in that moment. And I just believe that sometimes God will do that in our life. He'll shake things up, he'll ruffle our feathers. He'll put us into these storms intentionally because that was the only thing that was going to get you out of your comfort zone. And not only that, sometimes he'll push us off the boat and then take the boat. The boat will go drifting somewhere else. And all you got is the ability to swim to the work boat, and you have to fight and swim to that work boat in order to save your life, in order to get to the next destination. So embrace these seasons of discomfort because you're obviously being pushed in a direction that could possibly lead you to your destiny. So remember, comfort kills ambition. The moral of the story is as I was making residual, what ended up happening is when our company just came crashing down because we were in travel and we hit a pandemic. And now I was forced to start, for example, getting deeper into my work, coaching, consulting, speaking, podcasting. All of these things came about from adversity. Like I went through some of the most challenging seasons of my life when these things were born. The Journey podcast, my company, dream Nation Media, all of these things came during adversity. I built up my entire coaching practice during adversity, during the whole pandemic because I was forced to. And sometimes we need to, we, unfortunately, we need to be fueled by pain rather than pleasure, because if pleasure were enough, we'd be where we wanna be. And unfortunately, the way the human condition works is. We will do far more to avoid pain than to gain pleasure. So allow the pain to drive you forward. That's the idea. Next, over time, comfort leads to regret. And regret is one of the heaviest forms of suffering. Think about that. Will your comfort potentially lead to your regret? I'd rather the pain of discipline than the pain of regret. That's just what it is for me. I'd rather the temporary pain of discomfort than a prolonged feeling of regret. So it comes at a price. It may feel comfortable in the moment, but it comes at a price. And I feel that most people who are actually comfortable and secure there's this deep calling of the soul and this knowing, this internal knowing that, you know what? This actually, I. This isn't it. There's a lack of fulfillment. There's a void there because you know that you're not living up to your potential. And the way we are as human beings as even spiritual beings, having a human experience as we are eternal souls. There's always this calling to be the most that we could possibly be to make the most of this life that we've been gifted. So that's why it is essential to always, like I believe it's David Goggins. He says, you don't wanna, you don't wanna stay domesticated. You have to get very uncivilized as a person. Go out there, take some chances, get very uncomfortable, and that's how you know you're on the right track. Also, many people realized too late that they were comfortable while their dreams slowly died. Talk about something that's potent, right? The idea of that. Are your dreams slowly dying because you're realizing too late that you are way too comfortable? Okay, so next we have choosing purpose over pleasure. So true and joy, true joy and fulfillment come from purpose, not pleasure. So they say pleasure and happiness is they're like the leaves of the tree. They just leave, right? They come and go. And you want purpose. Purpose, deep. Purpose is like the roots of a tree. When storms come, that purpose still remains okay. The leaves, even the branches will go. But if you want true purpose, then it requires you being very uncomfortable. Next is purpose often requires sacrifice, pain, and yes, lots of discomfort. That's the path to purpose. There's just no getting around it. Okay, but the reward, remember, is freedom, alignment, and true power. True power, not power in the sense of ruling over people. I'm talking about personal power. I'm talking about significance in the sense where you're making major impact in the world. So think about that. If the reward is freedom, how is the reward freedom for getting out of your comfort zone? If you want financial freedom, oftentimes it's going to come from, let's just say, being a good financial steward or running a successful business. And both of those things require discomfort. If it's alignment, for example, like when I chose the neighborhood that I wanted to live in, the vehicle that I wanted to drive is like they, they just weren't cheap. It was very costly. But you know what? I never felt more aligned in my life. Just feeling like I was in alignment with the way that I saw myself, the way that I saw my family, the vision that I had. But you know what? The rent is due every single day. Every single day, to live in the kingdom of success and alignment and fulfillment and purpose, and deep meaning. The rent is due every day. It, it's no oh, I'm just gonna chill and coast. No you have to continuously put in the work. And then personal power. Personal power. What does that look like for you? What does it look like for you? And in your case, if personal power looks like you being able to take action and execute and get results, then that requires skill. And skill requires repetition. And repetition is not so comfortable. It's not so comfortable doing things over and over. Sometimes it's the mundane, sometimes it's the things that don't seem so glamorous. Remember, we are praised in public for what we do in private. So oftentimes you'll see somebody who looks like a major success. And I always give the analogy of it's like a skyscraper building. You look at that beautiful skyscraper, or you look at that person who's massively successful and glorified, and everybody loves this person, but you don't realize the ugly part, you don't realize the foundation, which was the most arduous, difficult, and the longest part was the foundation. There was no building there. 90% of the build was the foundation process. And then within a few weeks you see the building being erected into the sky. And it's the same for people who are massively successful. You didn't necessarily see the work that went behind the scenes. The work, the germination process, the arduous process that took place the entire time for them to be a quote unquote, overnight success. It's funny you oftentimes hear people mention man, they were overnight success, not realizing all the work that went into them becoming a success. I'll say, so here's some encouragement. Your next level is on the other side of what you are avoiding. Lean into the de discomfort. It's the compass. When was the last time you looked at discomfort as a compass? As like a great measure of whether or not you're on the right track. So here are some practical tools to escape the comfort trap. By the way if you guys are still getting some value, okay drop a y drop a YI wanna make sure y'all are with me now. As you can only imagine, I'm I sit here for up to two hours speaking to a camera, so it's not like the typical engagement. So my engagement is when I see you guys comment. So I appreciate the comments, I appreciate the love. Thank you. And don't forget to tag someone who can get value from this comment, share it, all of that good stuff. It always helps get the message out. Thank you. Thank you. Appreciate you guys. I see you guys with me still. Awesome. Good stuff. So I wanna, as we get ready to bring the plane in for a landing here, I wanna share five practical tools to escape the comfort trap. Okay, so here's some tips. Number one, I'm gonna give you five tips. The first one is, do something uncomfortable. Daily. Daily. Build your resilience. Build your resilience. There's this ingenious part of your brain refers to as the mid cingulate cortex. And the way the mid cingulate cortex works is it's the part of your brain that is that some neuroscientists will refer to it as like your the seed of willpower. It's like your will to live. And apparently it's bigger in athletes, it's bigger in like entrepreneurs and it's smaller in people who are obese, people who tend to be a little bit on the lazy side. Because what happens is that mid, the mid singulate cortex, that willpower that will to live, that, that hunger it, it will grow as you do harder things in life. So the more you do difficult things, the more of a capacity you have to do difficult things, if that makes sense. So if you go and work out. And you do the difficult process, or you go through the difficult process of working out or reaching out to that prospect or doing something that's productive that you don't feel like doing. It's essentially helping the development of that mid singlet cortex. It's growing your willpower. Growing your hunger, okay? So that's why it is essential to do something uncomfortable daily and build that resilience over time. Next, number two is question your patterns. Are they driven by growth or by fear? So question your patterns. Think about just things that you do throughout the course of the week. Are you doing those things just out of fear, just wanting to stay comfortable or secure? Or is it truly driven by you growing and it's so much better to take action out of inspiration than desperation? I've noticed that in my own life over and over again. It's unfortunately, as human beings, we tend to wait till we get desperate before we start taking action. But it doesn't have to be that way, right? So that's why it is important to, again you have to discipline your disappointments, get fascinated with your frustrations, but you also have to do something uncomfortable daily and question your patterns and how you navigate through life. Number three is surround yourself with people who challenge you, not just those who validate you. I love the saying that you need a corner man, not a yes man. You don't need someone there who's going to just always build you up and not call you out on your bs. Someone who's not going to challenge you. That's why I love, like my friends, because these are guys that will 100% draw out the very best in me. Like we push each other, we challenge each other, we'll call each other out, and it's very uplifting. But you have to get around people that are going to push you. That's why when I coach my clients, I always tell them,'cause I'm a little bit rootless. My, me as a coach is very different than me on the Breakfast Club. I will say that when I'm coaching one-on-one and those of you who've you've experienced coaching with me, you know exactly what I'm talking about. It can be very rootless. And I do that because I I always stress the fact that I coach people on what they need to hear, not on what they want to hear. I'm not here as a hype man just looking to motivate you. No, I'm looking to help you go through breakthrough in your life. I'm here to help you get to the next level. And sometimes you gotta get up in their chest. You gotta tell someone how it is in order for them to really break through because their entire life. Has been other people validating them, not enough people, just calling them out. And also I love to be the guy that's gonna call out a lot of quote unquote alpha men because sometimes people are fearful of challenging alphas, whether it's alpha men or alpha female or challenging someone who's really successful and they don't have someone to call them out. I love when people give me constructive feedback because when I get that constructive feedback, it's wow, it's refreshing. Because sometimes people are a little intimidated like, Hey Josh, you actually said something on the Breakfast Club that it probably wasn't the best thing to say, right? Or Did you consider this? Or was it politically correct or whatever. You have these things that come about and sometimes I have my blind spots as well. So it is good to have someone there, like a corner man, not a yes man. The corner man will tell you like, look, I. Come on, champ. You're, you gotta put your arms up, block your face strike back like that. Cornerman will be able to identify those blind spots that fighter is having. And they're not gonna just sit there and just encourage you. No, they're gonna give you practical strategies and call you out. Let's go fight. Get back in the game telling the fighter what they essentially need to hear next. We have set stretch goals, not goals that just keep you coasting, not goals that just keep you coasting. Set stretch goals for yourself. So what's a goal that you can set for yourself to push you a little bit beyond what you normally do? So maybe if you're running your business and you reach out to, maybe you probably have reached out to one prospect this past week. What about if you reached out to 10 prospects for the day? I. What if, rather than you just working out for 15 minutes, you actually push yourself to lift the heavy, the heaviest weight that you've lifted in a while or do the most repetitions, but challenge yourself beyond what you normally do, and you'd be amazed at what you find. So I, I tend to do this with my productivity. For example I'll challenge myself, especially when it comes to content creation. Sometimes it may be a bit daunting for me, and again, I'm using the language, so I probably should change that language. But cha, content creation, it does require discipline, consistency, all of that. And sometimes it requires you being creative. And whenever I have a good content creation day is typically when I'm posting across all social media platforms. So it's that stretch goal for the day. What's something you can do today to stretch yourself a little bit further than what you normally do? And number five is get accountability. So it's easier to stay comfortable when no one's watching. And that's why I can't. Preach it enough, you've gotta have some kind of a coach, some kind of a mentor and when you do have that accountability is everything. Think about it. Would I be doing the breakfast club if there was no accountability? It's the accountability of showing up because there are so many people from all around the world who look forward to this every single week, and that's why it's on time every single time. If for whatever reason the Breakfast Club is not on time, it's probably some technical difficulty. But I can assure you, I've been doing this for years upon years, and I can count with one hand the amount of Breakfast club sessions that I've missed. And even if I have to, it's probably because I'm on vacation somewhere. But that's the biggest takeaway more than anything is getting accountability, right? That will most certainly help you get a running buddy. Someone that you can probably work out with, someone that you can build business with. And this will most certainly help you take action more than just about anything. So just to recap those five tips, number one, do something uncomfortable daily. Number two, question your patterns. Number three, surround yourself with people who challenge you. Number four, set stretch goals. Number five, get accountability. And here are some departing words. Comfort might feel good today, but it often costs you tomorrow. Choose the path that grows you, not the one that soothes you. Really great. Okay with that being said, guys today, choose something that can stretch you a little bit further. Choose something that will force you to be a little bit uncomfortable. And in order to break through to the next level, you have to get comfortable with being uncomfortable. And I can't say that word more, more than I already have here today. So breakfast is officially served. God bless every last one of you. I hope you guys got value. Once again, if you did comment, share, tag, follow me on pretty much all social media platforms. You can find me, hop over to the Journey podcast, leave a review as a thank you, if you can let people know how valuable this has been. And till next time, I'll be seeing you guys next week Tuesday. Take care. God bless. Have a wonderful rest of your day. Breakfast is served.