The Importance of Mental Health: Tools and Insights for Personal Wellbeing

In this episode, we dive into the importance of mental health, sharing valuable insights and practical tools to help protect and nurture your mind. After speaking at a mental health symposium hosted by a friend, the discussion includes transformational vocabulary, the significance of boundaries, the impact of gratitude, and how to cultivate an abundance mentality. Additionally, we explore common mental health challenges such as anxiety, depression, burnout, and imposter syndrome, and provide seven actionable steps to take care of your mental health. Whether you're an entrepreneur, parent, or simply looking to improve your mental wellbeing, this episode offers essential strategies and support. Join us for a comprehensive session on safeguarding your mental health and achieving balance in a high-paced world.

00:00 Introduction and Importance of Mental Health
00:35 Engaging with the Community
01:03 Transformational Vocabulary
04:06 Metaphors and Their Impact
06:36 Cultivating an Abundance Mentality
14:53 Modern Struggles and Mental Health
19:30 Personal Mental Health Journey
24:03 The Importance of Self-Care
35:03 Practical Tips for Better Sleep
40:58 Mental Health and Decision Making
43:16 High Achievers and Mental Health
45:36 Daily Mental Health Practices
47:58 Common Mental Health Challenges
48:14 Gratitude for the Community
50:14 Understanding Anxiety
52:53 Dealing with Depression
54:08 Imposter Syndrome Insights
01:10:23 The Importance of Rest and Boundaries
01:14:12 Seven Steps to Mental Health
01:25:35 Breathing and Tapping Techniques
01:30:05 Final Thoughts and Encouragement

Transcript

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This week I'm excited because we're gonna be covering something that, super, super important for me. and it is, the importance of mental health and how to protect it. And the reason why I wanted to specifically talk about this topic in particular is because I just, wrapped up a, uh, mental health. Symposium. Uh, a really good friend of mine, Pamela, she hosted her mental health symposium I spoke on the panel and there were a lot of really great topics that were brought up around mental health, and I figured that, today we'd be able to add a lot of value for you guys. So excited to jump into that. And by the way if you would like to engage with me live every single week, you can do so@dnbreakfastclub.com. So, uh, you can actually engage with me live, I can read all the comments, uh, live as well. So feel free to hop over to dn breakfast club.com for those of you who would like to engage, on there as well. so let's jump right into it, guys I'm going to get us kickstarted with a few personal development shares, before we jump into everything else, okay. So to get us kickstarted, we have the very first share, which is, uh, transformational vocabulary. And this is from the book, giant Steps by Anthony Robbins, by the way., so transformational vocabulary not only helps us eliminate patterns of pain, but can also increase our pleasure. Start intensifying your experience of positive emotions by doing this exercise. Number one, write down three words or phrases you regularly use to describe your positive states. Are they somewhat uninspiring? So really, really great point there. And again, you, you, the key is to write down three words or phrases you regularly use to describe your positive states. And are they somewhat inspiring? How do you explain or how do you describe. Those positive, emotions that you're in or, or just moments in your life where, uh, you may have some, positivity but you don't really have words that can kind of magnify it. So I used to, uh, for a long period of time, uh, I would say when people would, would ask me, you know, what certain, experiences were like, I would, I would reference that it was like heaven on earth, right? And these are essentially metaphors or, descriptions of your experience to, to intensify because words have a direct effect on the way you feel or the meaning you give to specific situations. Okay? So number two is come up with three new words or phrases that will absolutely thrill you. So what are three new words or phrases that will absolute, absolutely thrill you when it comes to describing a specific experience? Really good to, uh, go over. Number three is enlisting the aid of three of your friends in holding you to your new higher standard. For example, are you interested or are you absolutely unstoppable? Does that make you feel happy or exuberant and impassioned? If you get leverage on yourself in the next 10 days, you can begin to use these new words effectively. So again, it's the power of vocabulary. There is power and, uh, life and death in the tongue. And, uh, you see it work, uh, against people a lot of the times as well when it, when it comes to describing, uh, whatever it is that they're going through. Like, some people may just very well explain what they're going through as hell on earth, right? Um, every, every person is different. So, uh, it is something to definitely take into account whenever you're describing your situation. I always share how, uh, in the book. Uh, in the book, you know, uh, what is it? What's it say? When you talk to yourself, one of the things that they mention is you never wanna say something about yourself that you don't want to be true. And, uh, so, so important when it comes to just, um, you know, overall, um, whatever it is that, uh, you're, you're involved in, you wanna be very mindful the way you describe it. So, next up, we have not only do words have a powerful impact on our emotions, but particular set of words, those we use as metaphors have an extraordinary, uh, an extraordinarily explosive effect. For example, you might say, I'm angry with John, or you could use a metaphor, John stabbed me in the back. Which description is more intense? Really interesting. Uh, without a doubt, the thought of being stabbed will affect you more deeply. When you use a metaphor. You're not describing your actual experience, but how it's like something else. Often our metaphors are far more intense than the reality. What did John really do? He may have broken a promise, but there's a big difference between that and being stabbed in the back, isn't there? What metaphors do you consistently use to describe painful or frustrating experiences? This actually, uh, brings me to a, a coaching session I had with one of my clients yesterday, and my client had described their, their, their battle with resistance or their obstacles that they were facing as a tug of war and. When you think about the metaphor of a tug of war, I mean, you're thinking about like just pulling and how difficult it is, especially if you have someone on the other side who's super strong and you're just battling and you're getting dragged. Right? So one of the things that I asked her, I, I was like, well, who's on the other side? Like, if what you're going through is a tug of war, who's on the other side? I was genuinely curious because, um, that's a very strong description of just navigating through resistance. And the, i the idea was really to break down the way she explained what it was that she was going through. Right? It may very well have felt like that, but that, that very vocabulary kind of, uh, it, it intensifies. The overall experience. So that's something that's important to understand when it comes to uh, just kind of navigating through whatever it is that you're going through. Be very, very mindful of the way you explain it. All right, we have a few more shares here, and, uh, by the way, drop a comment. Let us know what part of the world you are tuning in from. I see we got Brooklyn, New York in the house. We have Florida in the house. We've got Jamaica. Welcome. Welcome. Uh, we got Maryland. We have Texas. Welcome everyone. Happy to have you all, uh, with us here today. Okay, next we have cultivate an abundance mentality. Describe what you could do to think more abundantly. Celebrate, celebrate the strengths of yourself and others. Stop comparing and share resources. So really, really good. And I know, uh, for me, uh, you know, it's interesting because, uh, growing up when, when you don't really grow up with, with money, uh, what tends to happen is you, you adopt a, a scarcity mentality. And, you know, I, I never was, uh, aware of how much of a scarcity mentality I had. And it's not that it was a. A negative thing. Some people have a scarcity mentality because of survival. You know, just having to live in survival for so long, you have to, you know, ha essentially have that scarcity mentality, uh, in order to survive for a lot of people, right? Um, but, uh, when you wanna get to the highest levels, especially when it comes to building wealth, it is important to, uh, be very mindful of when you're adopting that scarcity mentality and, and when it's appropriate to let it go and adopt the mentality that more so, um, is an abundance mentality and there's a huge, huge, huge difference. So, um, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, uh, share a little bit more in, in terms of that. So, uh, and this is from the Seven Habits of Highly Effective People. Uh, there, there's actually flashcards for the book. The book is really good. I definitely recommend it. But Stephen Covey says, describe what you could do. To think more abundantly, celebrate the strengths of yourself and others, stop comparing and share resources. So it's interesting, um, I was talking to some of the panelists and, uh, one of the things that I was mentioning to a lot of the panelists, uh, at the mental health symposium, uh, that I spoke at, um, a lot of the panelists I was mentioning how. There's, there's room in the marketplace for, for every single person. And the individuality that they bring to the table, their very uniqueness and gifts and their story that they bring to the table. And it's interesting because, uh, sometimes you'll have people who have such a scarcity mentality that they feel like there's not enough to go around, there's not enough opportunity. Or they adopt a crabs in a barrel mentality where you're, you know, every, every crab is trying to pull the other crabs that are trying to get out of the barrel. Every single crab is like pulling the other crabs down. And we tend to, uh, fall into that as a, as a society. And, um, it's, it's super, super, IM important to, again, have the awareness that you have this scarcity mentality and adopt more of an abundance mentality where it's not all about competition, it's, it's also about. Collaboration. It's also about, you know, being the very best that you could possibly be and having an understanding that, hey, there's more than enough opportunity to go around. I, I find so many people falling into scarcity. And really the underlying root of it is just fear. You know, it's, it's, it's fear. That, fear. If, if you accomplish this, then there's not enough for me, right? Or if by you winning, I have to lose. But oftentimes, success isn't a zero sum game for most people. Uh, there's, there's a lot of room for opportunity, opportunity, a lot of room, uh, for you to thrive and grow. So, uh, he, he also says, ask yourself. Do I truly believe that there, there is more than enough for everyone when we have an abundance mentality, we are not threatened by others' success because we are secure in our own self-worth. Sometimes, uh, you end up having this imposter syndrome, and I'm gonna be talking a little bit about that here today, but you end up falling into this state of imposter syndrome where you feel as if you're not enough. And a lot of that honestly is, is rooted in, uh, childhood trauma. And, uh, that's why awareness. I always say that awareness is the first step to healing. Because in order for you to truly transform and evolve as a person, you have to have the awareness that you even have this issue. Or, uh, maybe it's not even an issue. Maybe it's just you having something that's, that's blocking you from getting to the next level. And that very thing may be the feeling of not feeling like you're enough. Here's a really great, great quote by Stephen Covey. The abundance mentality flows out of a deep inner sense of personal worth and security. It is the paradigm that there is plenty out there and enough for everybody. Imagine if you adopted this mindset, like, honestly, how different would your life look if you adopted this mindset that there's enough for everybody with everything that you do. And it's, it's super, super valuable. Um, when, when you can take on this, this mental model of the world that it's not like, you know, super limited and, and, uh, there's, there's so many people. I mean, you think about it, we have almost 8 billion people on the planet. There's most, certainly more than enough room and opportunity for everyone. Uh, so it is good because if you don't feel as if there's enough opportunity for everyone to go around, what'll happen is you'll, you won't even bother to try. You won't even put in the extra effort to, to, to, to try simply because you're like, why try if so and so already succeeded, so and so is already thriving in that area? No, you have your own individuality. You have your own swag. You have something to bring to the table and you have to embrace your uniqueness and know that there's a place for you in the marketplace with whatever it is that you're doing. It's interesting because I think about. The, the recent invention of just chat GBT and how it's affecting our world, I'm sure that there was a generation of people who probably felt as if, you know, Google essentially there was, there was no room for search engines, for example, because Google had, you know, basically created this monopoly over search engine and, and looking up research, right? Like the first thing people would typically do is go on Google. But who would've thought in a million years that someone would actually choose another search engine outside of Google? And I don't even know whether to label chat GBT as a search engine, but there are a lot of people today that rather than going on Google, they'll go on chat, GBT. It's organized and structured and it adds a lot of value and it's a really, really great service for, for a lot of people. And it integrates AI and Google also has an AI feature, right? But the way chat, GBT structures it and personalizes the information, it's, it's definitely, I would say, superior, uh, than, uh, far more superior, uh, for a lot of people. Um, and it's just a, it's a, it's a better way to organize information and, and knowledge and who would have thought, right? Like a company like Google that has been around for a long time, and I mean, people, people don't even say, I'm gonna search something. They say I'm gonna Google something. And now it's like, well, I'm gonna chat GPT something and, and look it up that way. So, uh, it's fascinating how I. Even. Even with things that exist, like social media platforms, I can assure you at some point in time there's gonna be more social media platform. And there there are, like you look at social media platforms like Twitch, it's live streaming. I. Like just people who livestream throughout the course of the day, right? Who would've thought that we would've gone in that direction? So there's always room for creativity, for innovation, for, uh, just whatever it is that you're doing. There's always room in the marketplace for your ideas and what you bring to the table, and it's always important to adopt that mental model of the world. Okay. So really, really great shares. I have some more, I think we're about to jump into today's, uh, main topic, which is the importance of mental health, the importance of mental health, and it, I think it is appropriate talking about this, this scarcity mentality and abundance mentality because oftentimes, um, in, in today's modern day age, you know, it's interesting because one of the things that we're faced with, even though I. Life is technically easier in a lot of ways compared to our ancestors, right? Our ancestors didn't have access to the technology or didn't have as much opportunity as we have today. But when you think about it, uh, today's struggles are very different than the struggles of our ancestors. Today's struggles are things like relative deprivation, where people are comparing themselves to other people on social media, not realizing those people are living a facade, not realizing that that's, that's not the full story, that most people just post up their highlights and not what they actually go through. You understand? And that's the struggle that this generation battles with. Another struggle that this generation battles with is there's so much information, and information is so accessible that there's more distraction now than ever before. Back then when you ate with your family, you ate with your family. It wasn't 10 people in the family texting on their phones and glued to their phones the entire time. Back then, people were more present. They were more in tune with the, with the planet, with nature, and with their spirituality, and they were a lot more focused. You look at, uh, times in humanity like the Renaissance for example, in the 15 hundreds, if you read material from that era, you'll see people who were very, very sophisticated. In fact, it may even come off like we went backwards intellectually because they were so advanced. And a big reason for that is because they didn't have as much distraction as we have today, even though they probably would've killed to be able to get access to things like Google and Chat GBT, the world's knowledge at their fingertips. But no. They were able to read the material that they had, the existing knowledge of the time and, and become enlightened beings in a sense. You know, they were, they were able to advance consciousness as we know it. Um, and further, uh, just the evolution of humanity. And this was hundreds of years ago, but today it's like, you look at most, most people in today's generation, it's just like there's so many distractions and people aren't really thriving at the levels that they can thrive because they're just so inundated with all of this information and it's affecting our mental health. It, it really, really is. If you are addicted to social media and you're constantly comparing yourself to other people, it will affect your mental health. Sometimes you're comparing people, um, or other people's success to your journey. And, um, again, I. It's, it's very difficult to cultivate that abundance mentality. You see all these people winning and you're just like, man, I'm, I'm so late to the game. And it's actually not truth. So it is essential to really analyze where you are in terms of your mental health. And, uh, I'm, I'm really happy to talk about this topic in particular because, um, especially for men, like, I know a lot of men, for those of you brothers who are hopping on to the breakfast club and, and maybe you have families, maybe you have the weight on your shoulders, maybe you're a single mom and you also have a lot of pressure, um, in your household. Right? Um, I know men tend to, uh, they men, a lot of men derive their sense of self-worth by their ability to provide and protect for their family. And that's just the way men have historically been wired. Right. And unfortunately for a lot of women in today's generation, a lot of women have had to become the protectors and providers of their families. Right? And a lot of men can't really take care of their families the way they used to. And, uh, it, it has a major, major effect on the mental health of both women and men. And when you think about just even a lot of, a lot of teenagers, for example, and the battles that they go through, and many, many of you have probably been through mental health battles and you didn't even know how to navigate through it. It's interesting because today I was reflecting on my journey through college, and I, I remember a season in college where I, I was getting ready to graduate and. You would think that someone like myself, I was the first person in my family to really go off to college and, and, and graduate from a college. And I was at the tail end. I probably was in the last semester and I remember for the very first time in my life, like I didn't even wanna be alive. Not to say that I wanted to take my life or anything like that, but I, I was just so exhausted. And so tired and just dealing with so much pressure. Um, I went to a military college, so I was a platoon commander. I was a resident advisor. I was the, um, senior president of, um, student government. You know, I was a football guy. Um, I ran a barbershop out of my dorm room. I was taking about 25 credits ju just so I can finish on time, uh, with my degree, I had all of this uncertainty in terms of the direction that my life was gonna go in. I had an idea of where I was gonna be working, but there was just so much that I was battling with and I had no concept. I, I didn't understand self-care per se. I mean, I worked out, thankfully, I worked out during college, but I remember staying up all through the night. All through the night writing assignments, not really being organized and waiting till the very last minute to do assignments and just doing my best to keep it all together. And I, I, I, I didn't really have, I. A, a, a close, close relationship with God the way that I have today. I didn't, I, I wasn't meditating during those days. I didn't understand breathing, exercising, or the tapping solution and all these different modalities of taking care of yourself. And I, I had hit a brick wall. I, I encountered burnout. I was tired, I was depleted. And I got to a state where I was just not even wanting to be alive. And that was a sign of, again, uh, going through battles with mental health. And during those days. That wasn't even a topic. People didn't really talk about mental health back when I was in college, so there was just no understanding. So my, my goal here for today's breakfast club session is really just a way raise more awareness around mental health, because it is kind of like the trendy thing, but how do you truly navigate through mental health and just kind of where you are in this season of your life. And if you guys don't mind, uh, drop a comment, right? Drop a y in the comment thread. If you've ever had a season of your life where you've battled with any mental health issues, if you guys don't mind, drop a comment. If you've ever had any season of your life where you were at war with yourself, many of you know exactly what I'm talking about. In, in fact, there, there's a, a study that says one out of very five Americans. One out of five adults in the United States of America experience mental illness every single year. So we all can relate to it to some degree. Whether you're a father, a mother, a leader in your community, or, um, you know, you have different responsibilities. This is inevitable. You know, for most people today is to encounter, uh, some season of their life where they're battling with their mental health. So we're gonna dive into that and, uh, let's jump into it. Okay. So, um, the importance of taking care of your mental health, especially in a high paced, success driven world, that's the biggest difference between, uh, today. And, you know, let's just say, you know, the time period with our ancestors is just today everything is about accomplishment. It's about success, it's about accolades, it's about all of that stuff. And how do you navigate in that world? Okay. So, um, again, I've personally gone through it. I've gone through it as a father, as a husband, um, as just the, you know, paying the bills and keeping up with the hustle and bustle. And a business owner, especially for those of you who are entrepreneurs, uh, it can, it can be very, very daunting and, um, just a lot of load that you carry. Um, it can take a toll on you. So let's jump into it. Okay. Um, today we're talking about something that not only affects every single one of us, but most of us don't give it enough a attention. And of course, that's your mental health. So if you've ever felt overwhelmed. Anxious, unmotivated, or just plain tired of life like I was. You are definitely not alone. Uh, in today's session, we're gonna dive deep into why mental, uh, wellbeing is just as important as your physical health. And I'm gonna give you guys some powerful tools you can use to protect and strengthen your mind. So it's interesting because, uh, there's, there's a strong emphasis placed on physical health, right? Everybody's just caught up in, in the physical health, and, and a lot of that is because of vanity. You know, people wanna look good. I think that there's, there's an overemphasis on physical, physical health, and that's a good thing, right? It is good to take care of your physical body. But let me ask you this. Is your physical body or your physical health more important than your mental health, or more important than your emotional health? Is it, I mean, is one more important than the other? I would say that the, the most important thing that you can do is focus on the wellbeing of your whole being. Your mental health is just as important as your physical health, but physical health tends to get a lot more attention because again, people love the significance of looking good, right? You, you have more self-esteem, you have more confidence, but we don't really take the time to, to nurture and take care of our mental health. So we're gonna be, uh, talking about all of that. Alright? Now, when it comes to why mental health matters and take notes, I always say, uh, we're a note taking community. So take notes as if you're gonna have to teach this to someone. There's someone in your family, someone in your community. Uh, maybe it's your children, but someone that can truly benefit from the content that we're gonna be sharing here today. Alright? So why does mental health matter in the first place? Um, now you wanna define mental health. In simple terms, right? So the, the best way that I can describe mental health is emotional, psychological, and social wellbeing. Okay? So we have emotional, psychological, and social wellbeing. Uh, like I mentioned, one out of every five adults in America experience some degree of mental illness. Every single year it's about 20% of people, right? And that's probably just people who are recorded. There are a lot of people that they, they go through it, but they don't even realize that they're in it. So, um, understand that poor mental health not only affects your work, but it's also going to affect your relationships. It's going to affect the quality of your sleep, the quality of your decision making, and even your physical health. Because remember, you guys oftentimes hear me say that your mind and body are interconnected. They, they, they both influence each other simultaneously. So, prime example, if you're not getting, one of the, the pieces of advice that I had gave on the panel that I spoke on is that if you're not getting enough sleep, people don't realize how much being the pride, the sleep actually affects the quality of your emotions. For those of you who are emotional throughout the day, ask yourself, how much sleep did you get the night before? How much sleep did you get the night before? How, how many hours of sleep do you average a day? If you guys don't mind if you're open to it, if you don't mind, drop a comment on how many hours on average. Do you get, uh, sleep? And there's nothing to be shameful about. I know for a lot of people, they're averaging like four or five hours. You'd be surprised at how many people average four or five hours. If you're one of those people. I'm curious, uh, drop a comment because, um, you know, everybody's circumstances are different. You have some people that, for example, they may work the graveyard shift or they're working two to three jobs just to make ends meet, and all they can get is a, is a solid four or five hours. But understand that that comes with a price. That comes with a price. There's a consequence to that. And that consequence could very well be not only burnout, but that consequence could just be you constantly going through e emotional and mental battles because again, you are just exhausted. So I know for me, uh, you know, I see we have people five hours, seven hours. I, I know for me, I average, I do my best to do at or get at least seven hours. Usually the night before the breakfast club, I'm up through the night, uh, just kind of preparing for, for my talk and things like that. And I, the night of the breakfast club, I, I don't typically average seven. Usually it's a lot less. Uh, last night I, I crashed out pretty early, so I did get my seven. But, um, it, this is super, super important to understand that your sleep will have a direct effect on your emotional wellbeing. It's all connected. Okay. Now you have psychological, uh, aspects. One of the things that, uh, was spoken a a lot about, uh, during the, the mental health symposium was just the power of gratitude. And expressing gratitude. Now, remember, two thoughts cannot occupy the mind simultaneously. So why is gratitude so important? First and foremost, when you're grateful, gratitude triggers the happy chemical of serotonin. Serotonin is a mood stabilizer When you feel the, the, the feeling of gratitude and self-esteem and, and, and just social belonging. Um, while social belonging could be oxytocin, which is the love chemical. And, and that's when you feel in love or you feel connected with people. But, but serotonin is when you're just at peace, right? And oftentimes when you're in a state of gratitude, what's happening is your, your serotonin levels are essentially being triggered. So. Two thoughts cannot occupy the mind simultaneously. You cannot be in a state of gratitude and a state of anxiety and a state of anxiety simultaneously. You can't be in a state of gratitude and a state of fear simultaneously. So that's why gratitude is so powerful. So when you wake up. You count your blessing, blessings. I had mentioned that every single day I wake up, I'm just counting my blessings. Things that I'm grateful for, having a roof over my head, having my family, having good health, having a business, having just, uh, being, living in the wealthiest country in the world, United States of America. Um, and, uh, I know for some of you that may be up for debate, but it's still a great country. And how do I know I've been, I've been all around the world. I know. Trust me, this is a great place to be alive. For those of you who, uh, tune in from the United States of America. We're very blessed to live where it is that we live. So, um, always expressing gratitude for that. Like we could very well be living in a war zone. We could very well be living in a place where, um, you know, there's massive genocide, but we don't, we could live in a region of the world where there's, there's massive, uh, levels of, of famine, right? And you see starvation, most people who are hopping onto the Breakfast club right now have never witnessed anyone starve in their lifetime, like starve to death, right? Like, that's not a reality. But you couldn't really say that a few decades ago. Or in, in many places of the world. It still exists today, especially with, uh, remember, uh, with, with Russia and, and Ukraine being at war. There's, there are shortages of food. A lot of famine has taken place because of that very war. Um, you know, uh, Russia is a, is like a bread basket for a lot of, uh, regions on the planet. So, uh, people don't really take notice to these things. And there are, uh, a significant amount of people like the star, the rate of starvation has been on the climb, um, over recent years because of this. So it is important to express gratitude, even just having a meal and when you live in a state of gratitude, it definitely helps bring down the anxiety. It helps bring down the stress and the overwhelm. Okay. Now, um, how does poor mental health affect just relationships? Think about it, you can't feel from an empty cup and your relationships. Oftentimes what happens is if you're so overwhelmed and having so much anxiety with everything that you're dealing with, you're not going to have the bandwidth to be able to put time into that relationship or be the very best parent you can be, be the very best spouse that you can be because you're dealing with your own mental, you know, issues. That's why, um, oftentimes I'll, I'll share men. Uh, you know, self-care is the best care. It's my good friend. Blanca always mentions and self-care is the best care because again, if you fill your cup, you have more of a capacity to give to your loved ones. Okay? So that, that's why you have to absolutely take care of yourself. It's like the idea of the oxygen mass on planes. When, and I always share this analogy, when you're on a plane, they always explain to you that if those oxygen mass drop. To put yours on before you put your child's oxygen mask on, because they understand that if you put the child's oxygen mask on, you may be in a panic and a frenzy and not thinking clearly, right? And it, it's going to affect you and your ability to, to essentially save yourself. So you always wanna put your own oxygen mask on. That way you have more of a capacity to help that child that you're with. So it's, it's the same with with life. You have to make sure you are good. It's okay to go into a season of spiritual selfishness just so that you can take care of your family even better, right? That's where boundaries come into play. And we'll talk a little bit about b boundaries today. And it was a major, major topic at the mental health event because boundaries are essential for just having more of a capacity for responsibility. If, if you don't set boundaries and you just say, yes, you become a, a, a people pleaser and you have this disease to please. What what'll happen is, uh, you're not going to have the bandwidth for the important things in your life because you're constantly helping other people and you're depleting yourself, and then eventually you hit burnout. Eventually you hit that brick wall. Okay, so how does poor mental health affect your, your sleep? Listen, when you're stressed out, anybody ever like just can't get good sleep because there's so much on their mind. There's so much on your mind that, that it's affecting the quality of your sleep. This is my recommendation, if that's the case for you, before you wind down for the night, first and foremost, make sure that you use the bathroom. That way you aren't getting up through the night to pee, right? Because sometimes that happens like, you know, you, you drink so much water that you end up having to use the bathroom Also. Don't eat right before you go to sleep. Give yourself at least two to three hours to digest your food before going to bed. Another thing is do your best to not watch any screens. Don't have any screen time. Don't, don't be on social media, right. And being all stimulated right before you wind down, open up a hard book, you know? Right. Like read through an actual paperback instead of reading a book through a screen. And, uh, there, there's tons of studies that show how screen time affect the quality, quality of your sleep. Another thing is make sure your room, the temperature is cold. I mean, you can put a blanket on to keep yourself warm, but if the, if the room is too warm, then like, I know for example, in order for me to get a good, deep sleep, I need to have not only my air conditioning, uh, my, we have sent air conditioning and it needs to be set at a specific number. That number is 75. But not only do I have to set it on 75, I have to put a ceiling fan over our bed that is on all throughout the night. So it needs to be on 75 with a ceiling fan on in order to have optimal sleep. Now, for you, it may be something different, but find out whatever temperature it is where you can get that deep sleep. Another thing is you want your room to have absolute darkness. I don't know how in the world some of y'all sleep with your TV on. Listen, do not sleep with your TV on, especially if there's sound coming from your tv. Why would you want all of these words to be entering your subconscious while you sleep? You ever, you ever take a nap while you're watching something and you notice you have dreams and the dreams are about what you're listening to. Hello. I mean, how many of us have been through that? How many of you can relate to that? You've taken a nap while having the TV on and you're actually dreaming about what they're saying on the tv. Listen, do not. You don't know what that TV or what words are being shared while you're sleeping and what your subconscious is taking on. I would not have my TV on while I sleep, so shut it down. And you want the room to be pitch black if possible. Invest in a sleep mask. It'll be one of the best investments you ever make. But these are just some of the things that you can do to calm yourself down. Another thing is I, I remember I'd go to sleep and I'd have a lot on my mind and I just, it would affect my sleep all throughout the night. Make sure that, like, for example, if you're having anxiety about waking up in the morning because you have something super important, have a backup alarm clock. I. Just so you don't have the anxiety of what if my phone doesn't go off right? You have two alarm clocks so that you have peace of mind knowing like, okay, if my phone alarm for whatever reason, and the likelihood of it not going off is very slim, but for whatever reason, if it doesn't go off, I have another backup. So that you bring yourself peace.'cause sometimes you just have anxiety about something that you're working on. Another thing is, uh, just before you go to bed, have some form of prayer or meditation, and maybe your prayer can be for a good night's rest and remind yourself like, Hey, tonight you're gonna get a good night rest. I remember I, I used to have a lot of nightmares and the nightmares would wake me up through the night and I literally would set my intention before going to bed. On the, the type of sleep that I want. And I'd pray about not having nightmares and, and not putting too much focus on just the negative aspects of life. Okay? Um, also remember, um, uh, apparently, I mean, you guys can do the research. Um, I always say, whatever you learn on the Breakfast Club, go and do your own research. Uh, you can always validate, uh, verify certain things, uh, not, we're not always gonna get it right. You know, even if you hop on the New York Times, if you hop on the New York Times, uh, or you read the, the newspaper, the New York Times, you're gonna have sections of the New York Times where they're making corrections from past articles. And that is the New York Times, right? So you could always research this, but apparently, um, the, the majority of your dreams happen during REM sleep. And REM sleep is like that light sleep. When you're kind of like in a trance, it's typically like right after you close your eyes. Uh, like that first hour or maybe right before you wake up, you're in that rem sleep cycle, and that's where most of your dreams happen. So it does help to just get into a deep sleep. You wanna be knocked out where you don't even remember what you were dreaming about. That's a good place to be. Um, and it's going to help to, again, not sleep or not eat right before you sleep. Make sure that you're, you're, you're not drinking fluids right before you go to sleep. You want, you don't wanna be waking up through the night because you have to pee, right? All of these different things, uh, will most certainly help you with your mental health because you'll wake up refreshed, you'll wake up ready to go. You won't wake up in a state of anxiety and, and perhaps you can wake up without a snooze and get your day going without hitting the snooze. Okay? So that's how it essentially affects your sleep. And also. Decision making. Think about it, the quality of your decisions. Oftentimes when emotion is high, logic is low, and if you're battling with mental health issues, it will affect your ability to make really good decisions. Okay, so another thing to take into account, and lastly is your physical health. Think about how much mental illness affects your physical health. I mean, your body, it like stress will age you. Like you, you ever look at people in their thirties and they're already starting to look old because they've been beat down by life. You know, they've been stressed the hell out. And stress will take you out faster than just about anything because when you're stressed, when your stress levels are high, your immune system is compromised, your cortisol levels are are, are high. Your adrenal, your adrenals are, are firing off, right? Your body's in a state of fight or flight. And you, there's no need for your immune system when you're in a state of fight or flight because your body is signaling danger and it's just looking to get out of that danger. But people have that prolonged state of being, uh, because of just daily stresses. And that's why you oftentimes hear the term stress management. Right. Could you imagine like our ancestors never had to talk about how to manage stress per se. It's like when you went through something, it was like, in the moment, fight or flight only lasted a few minutes, but for us, we live in a state of just stress and it, it can carry out all day long, all week long, and it is killing you. It really is. And like you have to be more mindful of your stress, I would say is it's, it's just as important as being mindful of your diet. Like, just as important of eliminating, drinking, smoking, all of these different things that are detrimental to your health. Stress is up there. If it, it is probably even more important to put the focus on the stress, uh, simply because again, it is compromising your body's immune system, uh, whenever you're, you're in that state of stress. Okay. So moving forward, um, you know, it's interesting because, um, oftentimes high achievers are the people that ignore mental health until we burn out. Isn't that interesting? Can any of you relate that to that? Like, you identify as someone who's a high achiever and most people on the breakfast club are high achievers. That's why you guys are so into, uh, personal development. You're kind of like personal development nerds like me. And, um, you know, you, you kind of ignore. Mental health. Why is that? Because you're so busy, you're always on the go and you may not notice it. Because remember, two thoughts cannot occupy the mind simultaneously. So for you, you're just like, I'm gonna work through, I'm gonna push through. But that can only take you so far and eventually you will hit a period of burnout. It will, it will collapse on you that taking that approach you will muscle through. So that, that was the case for me because in college I was just like someone who pushed through and just worked, worked, worked. And the way that I solve my problems was just with more work. But what happens when you don't even have the capacity to put in the work? Have you ever worked so damn hard and you reach a roadblock in your life where you don't even have it in you to put in work? That's a very scary place to be. It's when you know work has to get done, but you don't even have it in you to get work done. You haven't prioritized your mental health. And a lot of high achievers, a lot of people who are go-getters, ambitious hustlers end up encountering this. So I, I know what it's like to go through that and, um, check on your strong people. Some of you may identify you may be the strong one in your family, and it is important to check on the strong people because they're going through it. They may be better at hiding it. But trust me, I can assure you that the strong people in your life, they're, they're, they're carrying a heavy load and they're strong because they have to be strong, but they're very survival, but it doesn't exempt them from the, the battles of mental health illness. Okay? Now, uh, here's the interesting thing. Think about this. We spend hours in the gym working on our body every single week, but. Most of us don't take 10 minutes a day just to check in on our mind. And that is a dangerous place to be. Don't be the person that's in the gym every day, 30 minutes, an hour, two hours, but not even taking time for your mind. And what does it mean to just take time for your mind? So you have to work your mind just as hard as you work your body. And when I say work your body, I'm talking about just as much time and energy you put into your physical. You have to put the same amount of time and energy, if not even more for your mental, because your your mental power, your your mental capacity is going to affect every aspect of your life. You can get away with going weeks on end without working out your physical body. But if you go weeks on end without taking care of your mental health. It's going to show in a major way. So how do you even take 10 minutes for your mental health? Listen, that could be going for a walk. That could be your early morning time with your cup of coffee. Maybe you take 10 minutes, 15 minutes for yourself. That can be time of prayer, meditation. That could be time for journaling, that can be time for gratitude exercises, whatever it is. Breathing exercises. There's so many things that you can do to just put the time to, to take care of your mental health. I remember hearing, uh, the analogy of, you know, your men, your, your mind, your mental health is like a garden, and the garden is the beauty of the garden. And the health of the garden is determined by the amount of nurturing you provide that garden. So if you want your mind to flourish like a beautiful oasis, a beautiful garden, then you have to nurture it. And you have to nurture it with, again, mindfulness. It could be meditation, it could be prayer, it could be gratitude. But you have to make sure that you water it, you take care of it, uh, because if you take care of your mind, it will for sure take care of you and it'll help you become more successful in whatever it is that you're doing. Okay, so I wanna share a few common mental health challenges. And by the way, if you guys are getting value so far, uh, drop a v in the common threads for value. Okay? Drop a v if you guys are getting value from this. And, uh, shout out to everybody tuning into the podcast. I know some of you're probably gonna watch this years later or months later, but, uh, shout out to all of you who are tuning into the Journey podcast. Josh Valentine. And uh, by the way, like follow, comment, share tag, someone who can get value from this. Thank you for all of you who share the Breakfast Club every single week. It is greatly appreciated. I take notice to every last one of you who share it. Trust me when I tell you, I, I know every last one of you who share it, and thank you, thank you. There's been people who've been rocking with this community for years and, um, you guys are the reason why the Breakfast Club is still going strong after all these years. For those of you who support, whether it's, you know, subscribing, leaving a review, uh, all of that good stuff. I mean, hop over to the podcast, leave a review. Uh, but it most certainly helps and I'm truly grateful. And, and we have, you know, people like Tammy and, um, you know, thank you. Uh, you know, Elba, a lot of our, our frequent people, joy, you know, joy always shares stars on, on Facebook. Um, but, but thank you for all of you who consistently come on, Oscar, Anita. Um, you guys are greatly appreciated. Dei. Um, you know, I, I can't thank you enough for those who are consistently on. See, we got Princess on. So, uh, thank you, uh, Pamela, all of you. Um, I, I don't wanna leave anybody out, but I don't really get to mention people from our community oftentimes, but, uh, it's such a beautiful, uh, community of people who've been with me since day one and, uh, it's been years. Some of you were attending Breakfast Club sessions 10 years ago when I was doing it in person at coffee shops, right? So, uh, I, I am so grateful and so appreciative and it's an honor, uh, to even be able to serve this community at, at the capacity that I do. So, uh, thank you for those of you who dropped the V by the way. Alright, enough of that rabbit hole. Here we go. Next, we have common mental health challenges. Uh, first and foremost, anxiety. Anxiety. There's, uh, uh, Doche, I believe is her name, uh, recently came out with the song Anxiety and such a good song, and it's, it's so timely, right? Uh, because we could all relate to some degree of anxiety. And I know for me, anxiety it, man, when it hits, it's, it's tough. It's, it's a tough one to, to deal with. And a lot of the time, uh, a lot of the times we, we get anxiety because we're overwhelmed. We get anxiety because of uncertainty. We get anxiety because we set unrealistic expectations sometimes, and whenever you're in a state of anxiety, it, it is really, really good to just slow down, slow down, take some time to really process what's going on. What helps me as well is actually writing down my thoughts. It is an absolute game changer when it comes to just dealing with anxiety. Sometimes it, there's just so much going on and you're so overwhelmed and stressed out, and you don't know where to start. You, you, you have paralysis of over analysis because you're thinking about doing this and thinking about doing that, and your brain is like on overload and you need to slow the hell down. Take some time to really process your thoughts. Focus on one thing, focus on the next important thing, something that's manageable. Focus on the micro goal, something small to help you build that momentum. So, for example, if you know that you have to, let's just say handle your taxes because you're, you're late on your taxes, well take some time during the day to just focus on that and nothing else. If you know you have to clean up your home. Screw everything else and just put your focus on cleaning your home one thing at a time, no matter how big, or no matter how small, but just focus on one thing because this will help you. Like when you have 27 things on your to-do list of, of course you're gonna have some degree of anxiety because there's just so much and you're stressed out. And sometimes what, again, if you're in fight or flight mode, it's actually not just fight or flight, it's fight, flight or freeze. One of three things are gonna happen. You're either gonna fight and press forward, you're gonna run from the problem or just freeze and not do anything because you're so debilitated, right? So this is something that is essential, um, to understand. Now, another thing is depression. Sometimes when you're not taking care of your mental health, you'll encounter depression. Depression oftentimes is because you, you'll encounter depression because your life isn't going the way that you would like for it to go. And that could be with your relationships, right? Oftentimes, you people will get depressed with their relationships or they're just not happy with their work. They're, they're not passionate, they're not excited about their work, and maybe they're not fulfilled. And whenever you're, you find yourself in a state of depression, also, ask yourself, am I hydrated? Sometimes you find yourself depressed. Like in college, I didn't realize that the reason why I was in a state of not even wanting to be alive was because I was sleep deprived. Like when I think about it now, I'm like, man, you were really sleep deprived and overwhelmed, and you were just dealing with a lot. You had uncertainty. You were navigating through, you had all these different things, and, and you were not, you were burnt out. You encountered burn burnout, and you were depressed about it. Because it's like, there, there's, there's just so much going on and, and there's a lot of overlap with anxiety, with depression, with burnout. Here's another sign of, uh, mental health challenge that you may be encountering and not even aware of, and that's imposter syndrome. Imposter syndrome is that feeling of you're not good enough. That imposter syndrome may show up at work. Have any of you ever encountered imposter syndrome? You know, it's so funny. I actually recently encountered imposter syndrome. I thought I was over those imposter syndrome days. I remember feeling like you have those feelings where you may, may feel a little bit like a fraud because you're new to something and you want to, let's just say be somebody, right? Or you want to embark on something. Maybe it's coaching, speaking, podcasting, content creation. Maybe you talk to a camera for the first time and you're like cringing because you hate your voice, but uh, maybe you feel like you're not qualified. You may potentially feel as if you're not qualified to do whatever it is that you're doing. You know how many people I know that get into coaching and they end up just quitting because they're battling with imposter syndrome and they just don't know how to get over themselves. They're like, well, I don't have my life together. Who am I to coach somebody? Listen. 90% of the people you guys call mentors do not have all their shit together. And that's okay. Like none of us got it all together. We're all in this trying to figure it out. I mean, I would love to meet any of you in the Dream Nation Breakfast Club community that have it all together. I would love to meet and I mean, you are, uh, if you're like me and you're still trying to figure yourself out, drop a one in the comment. Like, if you're still figuring things out, you're still a work in progress. But here's the thing, imagine if I told myself, well, who am I to hop on here at 7:00 AM every single Tuesday and talk about, you know, coaching and, and making your life better in per, and I'm dealing with my shit. Every week I'm dealing with something. Every week I, I'm carrying my cross and battling with something like it's a daily, it's, and I, I shouldn't use the word battle'cause I was talking to you guys about just vocabulary. So it's interesting that I mentioned that sometimes these breakfast club sessions are for me, like I, I'm like building myself up because I'm just dealing with so much and just even me using the word battling, it's like that's an intense word to describe what it is that you're going through. So oftentimes I'll reframe it as navigating through it, because we're all navigating through different challenges in life and it's so much better to navigate through something than it is to battle with something because some things aren't really meant to be battled with. Some things require integration, some things require reflection and deep introspection. And it is okay to essentially fight your battles, if you will, with, with a, with a better, softer approach and just getting to a place of processing your emotions. That's one of the things that I had mentioned during the mental health symposium was allowing yourself to feel what you need to feel, not not wrestling with your emotions, not battling your emotions, but allowing your emotions to wash through you, to really flow through you and not take on those emotions and bottle them up where they end up manifesting themselves into tumors, into this disease, into chronic ailments and, and illnesses and all of these different things. Because that's essentially what happens when you bottle up emotions. So I had came to the realization while navigating through mental health. Allow myself to feel what it is that I need to feel. Sometimes the best solution to navigating through your emotions is sleeping, just taking a nap, sleeping it off. Any of you ever are going through something so difficult where all you have left is to sleep? You're like, I, you know, this is way too much and I need to sleep this off. And then you wake up and you feel so much better sometimes you, your, your inability to really navigate through what you're dealing. It may just be your dehydrated, you'd be surprised. So that's why I always say do a check-in with yourself. Are, are you hydrated? Are you hangry? Sometimes we're on, we're on such an, uh, adrenaline high that we don't even realize that we haven't eaten all day. Like we've gone 10 hours without eating, and our adrenaline is, is going and you forget like you have low blood sugar and you don't, you forgot that you completely did not eat lunch or breakfast for the day. So again, check in with yourself. Find out why you are feeling the way that you are feeling and allow yourself to really process it. Because sometimes that's just what it is. You just have to allow yourself to feel what you feel. And one of the things that I mentioned as well is questioning why you feel the way that you feel. Why am I processing this feeling? Why was I triggered by that? And the vast majority of of the time, you'll, you'll end up discovering that there's still some unresolved trauma, that you have something that you are still battling with. From childhood, maybe that imposter syndrome is a manifestation of one of your parents or a family member or a friend and or an authority figure telling you that you weren't enough, telling you that you weren't going to amount to anything telling you that, you know, you're either going to end up in, in jail or in prison. Like you hear these crazy things that young children go through, right? Are, are, they're, they're heavily judged by, by the people that are supposed to be providing them the most love, and they go through their entire life dealing with this imposter syndrome. And you have to heal from that because if you don't, you'll consistently run up against triggers. You'll, you'll have things that trigger you, and you'll have things that you'll battle with emotionally and not realize that these are wounds that you have that still have not been properly healed. How do you heal from them? The first step to healing is awareness. Having the awareness that, oh, the reason why I felt that way when they said that the reason why I was triggered was because of what I went through at this season of my life. And, uh, this is a big reason why I oftentimes, I talk a lot about, uh, inner child healing, right? And, and healing that inner child. Because most of the things that we battle with today, again, they're, they're just manifestations of, of unresolved trauma. And you have to continuously work on yourself. It's, it's a never ending cycle. And it's interesting because I recently went through a little bit of imposter syndrome and I was shocked. I was like, man, I didn't expect to get hit. With imposter syndrome out of all things.'cause I worked a lot on it over the years, but, um, I had been learning from, from really high level entrepreneurs recently and learning a little bit about how they operate and some of the stuff that they know and are educated on. And I, I realized like, man, there's, there's way higher levels than where I currently am. Like, there are people that are way more sophisticated, way more knowledgeable, way more just, um, on top of their game than I am. And, you know, there was that little, little scared little boy trying to creep in there. And, you know, and, and that's really what happens. It's like that scared little boy or that scared little girl that'll, that'll kind of creep in and, you know, say, who am I? Or I'm not enough, or who am I to, you know, be qualified in this and, and look at this person, right? And you start to compare. Here's the thing, there's an audience for you. There are people that will resonate with you. I, I, I was sharing with a really good friend of mine who was on the panel this past week as well. I was sharing that there are people that will relate to him far more than they can relate to me. So you indivi your individuality and your authenticity. What you bring to the table is valuable. Yeah. You may have people who are far more knowledgeable or far more experienced in one particular area. However, that doesn't mean that they'll be able to reach the people that you can reach. Some people, they, they, they process information better from a teacher simply because they relate to the teacher a lot more. You know how many people I coach today that went and, and sought out therapy for years and the therapist. Just because they couldn't really relate and connect to the therapist that it, it's like coaching was a far more effective approach than traditional therapy. And it wasn't necessarily the therapy, but it was just the relatability that they had with the therapist. And that's why if you seek therapy and not all therapists are created equal, you may have to try a few different therapists before you find the right one. But there are a lot of people I coach today, for example, they relate to me simply because I can empathize with what they're going through as a father, as a husband, as as an entrepreneur. There, there are people that will come to me as opposed to a therapist. Um, not, not that it's an alternative to therapy, um, even though some may, some people may look at it like that. But some people come to me because I have an entrepreneurial background. It's like they love, they love the idea of therapy, but they can't really relate to the therapist from an entrepreneurial standpoint. Like, I understand the struggles and I understand the burden of, of the weight that, that someone will carry as a business owner, right? Or I understand the weight of marriage, the weight of parenthood, and a lot of people love to connect with that. Someone who, who understands them from their context of the world, from their lens. Okay? Hopefully this is making sense. So the reason why I mention that is because for those of you who are currently struggling with imposter syndrome, let it go and understand that there is an audience for you. Understand that you'll be able to reach the people that even the people that you look up to cannot reach. I love Tony Robbins. There are a lot of people that just don't connect with him. They don't really resonate with his style. It's not that he's not good, they just don't resonate with his style. You understand? Or, or just even who he is. Like some people, they'd rather hear from a brother or sister than a older white dude. You know what I mean? And vice versa, right? So again, there is an audience for you. There are people who, who will appreciate and love you for exactly who you are. So that's why authenticity is the highest expression of self-love. Being authentically you. You don't have to be nobody else but you. And there are people out there that will connect with you. You don't have to be perfect, right? Just be you and the best version of you. Of course. Alright, here we go. Uh, moving forward. Um, now I. Uh, for entrepreneurs, fathers, leaders, mothers, uh, understand there's always going to be this pressure to keep it all together, but the truth is, acknowledging the pressure is the first step to mastering the pressure. Pressure. You have to acknowledge that you're even going through it, okay? And understand that whether it's anxiety, depression, burnout, imposter syndrome, or even isolation, because isolation could also be another sign of mental health illness. When you, when you find yourself isolated, it is not healthy. I actually, I came across a podcast interview and I, I don't know, you guys can look up the research, but I had found a, a, um, an expert in this field had apparently mentioned how isolation could actually actually be far more detrimental to your health and alcohol consumption. Think about that. There are people who, who died during the COVID Pandemic because like, they were so isolated and their immune system was so compromised that whenever they did catch COVID, it's like they, they didn't have the capacity to fight through they, and, and so, so many like suicide rates were on the climb simply because of isolation. And even with social media today, it's so easy to, uh, get caught up in the world of social media, uh, to the point where I have this light shining right on my forehead. We may just have to rock out with that. But it's, it's interesting because, you know, there, there are people that, um, when it comes to just overall, uh, social media, they'll be so glued into social media that they just forget to connect with people in person. And I, I'm a firm believer that we are gonna go into a world where people are gonna seek out more and more community, more and more. Uh, togetherness and opportunities to get together in person with people. Concerts are here to stay. There are tons of concerts right now. These concerts are packed out. Even movie theaters, even malls still have people walking through these malls. Why is that? Because people crave being around other people, and that will always be the case. Okay? So, um, whether you're going through anxiety, depression, burnout, imposter syndrome, isolation, just know that, um, you know, this is this, this is all, these are, these are things that you encounter, right? These, these are things that you encounter when you're going through it. And we have to normalize the fact that these are common and not signs of weakness. Just because you're going through imposter syndrome, it's not a sign of weakness, isolation, burnout, depression, getting to the point where you realize like, yo, I do not got it right now. Like even for me as a man, like I, I've, I've reached seasons of my life where as, as a provider, as a protector. Just getting to the point where I realize I don't got it right now. It's like I don't have the capacity at this moment to continue to press forward. And, and there are times where you have to acknowledge that and accept that and, and in those moments of surrender, sometimes those are your greatest breakthroughs in life. When you get to the place of a deep surrender and you just let go of this notion of having to control everything, we tend to fall into this trap of wanting to control everything. Sometimes the solution to what it is that you're dealing with is not going to be solved with control. There, there are times where your solution is surrender and you have to open yourself up to that, that, you know what, maybe my solution is surrender in this season. Surrendering, and it's not surrendering in the sense where you're just giving up. Or giving in. It's surrendering to the fact that these things are outside of my control. And right now, my capacity to take action is outside of my control right now. Like, I, I don't feel at this moment, like I, I have the ability to just control where I'm at and maybe just taking some time to take a break and catch yourself for a moment. And this is a big reason why I always encourage rest days. And I'm, I'm a huge proponent for rest days. Many of, you know, Sundays I just do not work. I, I, I realized a long time ago, not even that long ago, just a few short years ago, that I was like grinding seven days a week nonstop. Like there was no boundaries for when I worked and when I didn't work, I'd work at 1:00 AM I'd work at 6:00 AM I'd work on three hours of sleep, I'd work on, you know, just no hours of sleep. And I had zero boundaries when it came to my, my own personal wellness, right? I just prioritized work. And even with my kids, there was a point in time where, um, I didn't even feel like I was raising my own kids. Like my in-laws were just, my in-laws were helping so much. They were so involved. And I just didn't even feel connected with my kids because all I did was work. And I remember there was one night where, uh, Kia Kia's also a hustle holic like me. So my wife, uh, you know, not that she, um, has to work, right? Like, I don't ever rely on her to pay any bills. Um, but she does help with not only our, our business overall, but she has her own businesses that she focuses on. And, uh, I remember there was one night, it was like 11:00 PM. We hadn't really checked in with our kids all day. They were just kind of there with my in-laws and you know, Kia's there working on the computer and you know, I'm there taking calls and things like that. And I just came to the realization like, man, like what are we doing here? What are we doing? We always talk a good game about freedom, but ain't nothing free about what we're doing right now. This is not freedom because all we do is work. And if like all we do is work just to be able to say we have freedom, it's not real freedom. And, and I had came to the realization that if I did not set any proper boundaries with myself and my family, then I was not going to be able to say in my lifetime that I raised my kids. I was not going to be able to say that like I was a part of, or being a real parent, right? Where I actually teach my kids my values, my principles, and, and they learn from me and they're raised by me. So it was, it was one of the best things that we did, and I just wanna encourage you all, if you prioritize, work over everything else, listen to do anything great, it's gonna require you being obsessive. It's gonna require you putting in a lot of work. However, if you, if you get to the point where you're prioritizing work over everything else, it, it goes back to the saying, what's the point of gaining the whole world? If you lose your soul in the process, what's, what's the point of, of just becoming massively financially successful, but you're not happy, you're not fulfilled? And that's why Tony Robbins oftentimes says that success without fulfillment is the ultimate failure for you to get to the top of the mountain and realize. Everybody else that was, that, that you were with are, are laying alongside the mountain, like, and you were the only one who made it to the side. What good is that, right? If you sabotage every relationship you had, you, you sabotage your health in the process. What's a, what's a, what's a billion dollars to a cancer patient? Let's be real, right? Health is wealth. You have to take care of your health, but you also have to take care of your relationships. And this is a big, big part of just overall mental wellness. Okay, so next up. Um. Here we go. We have how to take care of your mental health. I'm gonna share, uh, a few different steps. We have seven different, uh, tools to take care of your mental health. So again, take some notes as if you're gonna have to share this later on. Okay. So I'm gonna break it into practical, relatable tips. Okay? So the seven simple ways, uh, to take care of your mental health today. Number one, daily check-in. Ask yourself, how am I really feeling today? A daily check-in, just like, take time to really ask yourself, how am I really feeling today? When was the last time you did that? Like, you, you, you woke up and you said, man, how am I feeling? And don't even ask just you how you're feeling, ask your loved ones. I have, I have a habit of asking people like, how are you feeling? You know, how are you feeling? Like, where are you? Like, when I talk to clients, a lot of the times I'm, I'm asking them like, where are you mentally and emotionally? What's on your mind? So what's on your heart? It, it, it's so, so helpful to just ask people like, how are you? Like, how, how are you, like yesterday I was talking to a business partner of mine and we, we hadn't spoken in, in a, you know, in a couple of weeks and we were just talking about some business stuff and at the end, wem sure, she probably expected from me to get off the call, but I was just like, like, Hey, how, how, how are you doing? Right? And for those of you who are leaders, for those of you, if you're leaders in, in your business, if you're leaders in your community, take some time to just take the business out of it. Take the, the work out of it and just check in on the person. Like, hey, like, how, how are you doing? And it goes a long way. If there's anything that I would say that has been the biggest breakthrough for me, going through a lot of adversity and, and business and life, it's been the power of relationships. Just really being vulnerable and open with my friends. Being open and v vulnerable and not feeling like I have to just wear this mask all the time, and being like just super vulnerable with where I'm at, emotionally, what I'm dealing with, what I'm battling with. And one thing that I can tell you, especially for those of you brothers who are on, you know, sometimes us men, we, we don't do the best with expressing ourselves. We don't do the best with just opening up about our emotions. There's no, there's no weakness in that, you know, it's just smart, honestly. It's just smart to open up about your emotions and where you are. And if you don't feel like you have a capacity to open up to a woman, find some other men that you can open up, like men that can foster a safe space for you to come and, and not feel as if you're being judged. Because sometimes it's like, it is, it isn't helpful going to certain people. Certain people are not like, you know, you'll have some men that'll tell another man, like, you know, just suck it up, you know? Um, stop, stop being a little, you know, you guys know what I'm talking about, right? So it, it is helpful to find some other men in your life for, um, other people in your life. If you're a woman, like finding other people that, that can create a safe space. And maybe you're the one to create a safe space for other people to come to and vent to. Uh, but it'll be one of the most helpful things that you do whenever you're just going through it mentally, emotionally, finding people that you can talk to about it. Do not do life alone. Do not suffer in silence. Now, number two, exercise and sleep. As I mentioned earlier, your brain needs rest and movements. Don't underestimate a good night's sleep. So major, major number three, set boundaries. As I also mentioned earlier, protect your energy. Learn to say no. You guys oftentimes hear me mention on the Breakfast Club that one of the best philosophies that I've ever adopted is if it ain't a hell yes, it is a hell no. It's okay to build your no muscle and go into a season of spiritual selfishness. Remember, sometimes you have to love family at a distance. Sometimes you have to raise the rent on the people who've been occupying your mental space rent free. There have been too many people squatting up in your mind, rent free, and it is time to go through your eviction season. Nothing wrong with setting boundaries because again, you cannot feel from an empty cup. Nothing wrong with, let's just say loving family at a distance or creating a limited association that you have with certain people. It's the idea of you're either going to change your friends or change your friends, and there's nothing wrong with that, okay? Some friends, honestly, they're just going to be in your life for a season. They're gonna be some friends that maybe they're like the roots of a of a tree, and they'll be there with you through the storms. But if you find yourself with a friend that is leading you towards self-sabotage, that is leading you towards toxicity, that's leading you towards gossip. A friend that's a Debbie Downer, Janie a Johnny Raincloud type of person, listen, you may have to create a limited association and love that friend at a distance. Nothing wrong with that. There are some family and friends that you ain't getting more than 15 minutes of my time. And I'm like, and I'll, and I'll stick to that because again, you have so much that you're already dealing with and you, the last thing you need are friends and family that are energy vampires and they're depleting you of your energy. After a conversation with a really, really solid friend, you should be full of energy, not depleted. When was the last time you jumped on the phone with a family member and friend and you feel exhausted? Any, any of that ever happened to you? You feel exhausted after talking to certain family and friends because it's just so much negativity. Your, your friends should be filling you up where the moment you get off that phone, you are ready to take on the world because you've been able to vent and express yourself and, and, and, you know, just talk about, uh, life and, and be open and vulnerable and all of this stuff, but it's not rooted in gossip and drama and all these different things. I mean, who the hell has time for that? I, I hope that you are not giving your time to, uh, friends that are just talking about other people as, as opposed to talking about dreams, goals, aspirations, self-care, things that actually matter in the world. Okay? Number four is practice mindfulness. So mindfulness could also be, it could be prayer, meditation, things like that. You know, maybe reading scripture, but it could be meditation, journaling, all that stuff. But just 10 minutes of quiet time can go a long way. So have some form of mindfulness. And mindfulness is really just connecting with yourself, okay? And eliminating all the distractions. Number five is talk to someone. It could be a friend, it could be a mentor, it can be a coach, it can be a therapist. But do not bottle up what you are going through. Allow your, your, your, your weapons, your spiritual weapons, your spiritual armor. The things that you utilize to kind of navigate through life's challenges. Uh, the, you can have these relationships, these people that you talk to as sort of like your spiritual armor, to protect yourself from all of the negativity of the world. Okay? So that's why it is super important to talk to someone about it. Seek therapy if you need therapy. Sometimes it's, it's clinical. Uh, some, some your, your depression may be clinical depression and there may be medication that you may very well need, but you have to get the right help, uh, that you need. And having, having coaching, like I'm a huge proponent for coaching. Obviously. It's why I became a coach because I know the value of having someone there on your, in your corner and, and to help give you guidance to help give you counsel, someone that you can just have an ear to listen, right? Super helpful. Number six is reduce social media. Listen, I delete social media many times throughout the week. I'm actually started deleting it right before I go to bed. That way I don't wake up and immediately go into doom scrolling because social media strips you of your dopamine. It strips you of just everything, like all the, all the life force that you have. Just, you know, you're giving your dopamine away. So be very mindful at at how much you consume social media and delete the app if you need to. Now, some of you may utilize it for business and if you're utilizing it for business and get in and get out, but if you find yourself constantly doom scrolling, and then you're wondering why you have no energy, no motivation, no ambition for anything else, that's probably a big reason why. So reduce it. It can be a beautiful thing, but it could also lead you into great self-sabotage. Number seven, find meaningful connection. So remember, isolation. Feeds anxiety, communi community, nourishes the soul. So very, very important thing to understand, if you are going through mental health challenges, do not keep yourself isolated. Get around people. It'll be one of the best things that you, you do. This is a big reason why there's so many studies that show how, um, children who, uh, eat with their families, like they actually have family dinners, uh, end up doing a lot better in, in, in society. Uh, they end up, uh, thriving a lot more because they have such a strong foundation. They have a family unit, they can talk to their family about different things that they're navigating through. So, uh, take some time to eat with your family if you can create that environment. All right, next. So just to kind of recap the seven ways to take care of your mental health, remember number one, daily check-in. Number two, exercise and sleep. Number three, set boundaries. Number four, practice mindfulness. Number five, talk to someone. Number six, reduce social media. Number seven, find meaningful connection. Okay, so, um, last but not least, um, again, I, I like talking about mental health in particular because of like my challenges with it and understand that some of the best people in the world like are go through their mental health stuff. Like we all, we all do. And at some point in time, maybe you have not encountered it, but listen, I can assure you, there'll be moments of your life where you'll go through different challenges and not even realize that you need healing in specific areas. But when those moments arise, I just wanna encourage you guys first and foremost to cultivate a, an awareness around it. Process, whatever it is that you're feeling and reflect on why you're feeling the way that you're feeling. Journal about it. Get outside, get in nature, nature heals. Go for a walk, take care of your breathing. So many different things that you can do these days, like whenever I'm really, really in a tough position, right? And I know I mentioned tough positions because I, I'm a, I'm a business owner. Like I, I, I have many different businesses, uh, many things that I do, podcasting, all of this stuff. So I need to really armor myself like every single day to kind of deal with whatever it is that I'm dealing with. Uh, so there are times where I'll do, uh, like box breathing, for example. And box breathing is the idea of inhaling for four seconds, holding your breath for four seconds, exhaling for four seconds, and holding empty lungs for four seconds and doing that for times. Okay, so I'll, I'll do that as a breathing exercise. There's also another, uh, breathing modality where, uh, it's two inhales. So you, you take two inhales, one, like long one, and then a, a, a rapid fire burst one inside, and then you have a deep exhale where you just let it all out and empty all of your lungs like, so you inhale and then exhale. And when you think about it. There's tons of research on this recently, I, I've been, uh, following a, uh, Stanford professor, uh, who's a researcher in this area and a neuroscientist, and he mentions that that's actually our natural, uh, defense mechanism. Like, if you notice when you cry, you ever notice as a cry. You're like, you know, you're like, uh, you have this, this, this, uh, strong inhale where you're inhaling and then you're just having a sigh, like a, like a, a deep, deep exhale. And the reason why that's the case is'cause you're, you're filling your body with that oxygen and releasing a lot of that, that, that energy, if you will, and that specific breathing exercise, it helps reduce anxiety really fast. So whether it's box breathing or it's the two inhales and one, you know, big exhale, uh, they're very effective breathing modality, modalities. There's tons of different ones that you can implement. But remember, your, your breathing is directly correlated or linked to the way you feel in the moment many times. So if you have like very shallow breathing, it's going to affect like the quality of your thinking, because remember, your body and brain are interconnected. Okay, so another thing is the tapping exercise. You guys have heard me talk about tapping. So whenever you find your, you find yourself stressed out, there are specific meridians in the body, like just like Chinese acupuncture, you know, they put the little pins throughout your body and, uh, it, it is very, uh, healing, right? Uh, it works really, really well. A lot of people have been doing Chinese acupuncture for years, and uh, there are specific meridians that if you just tap on them on the body, it helps reduce anxiety. Literally and look it up online. You guys can look up the tapping solution or the tapping method, and you'll find the specific parts of your body. It's like you have parts like underneath your armpit right here by your collarbone, uh, at the brim of your eyebrows, and under the side, underneath your eyes, underneath your nose, underneath your lip. And I know for a lot of you, you're like, what in the hell is he talking about? Listen, I, I kind of geek out about all of these different modalities. But they work, they work really, really well. And these are science backed modalities that can really be helpful when you're going through different, uh, mental health challenges. Okay? Um, and again. Prayer, meditation, all of that stuff most certainly helps. And journaling, like I find myself now doing journal entries. Whenever I'm just in a, in a challenging season, I'll, I'll just journal about it because sometimes you need to reframe what something means to you. So if you're going through a very difficult circumstance, imagine if you reframe your obstacles as you know, what one day this is gonna make for an incredible story. And I recently have been doing this. I've been doing it with just the different obstacles that I'm going through. I'm like, man, this is gonna make for a really great book one day. And I'm like taking journal entries of what, what's on my mind, how I'm feeling in the moment. And I've been doing this for years. For journal entries of when I wanted to retire from the workforce. And I was just kind of, you know, so overworking for other people. And it, it's so helpful to just journal about it and reframe the way you look at what it is that you're going through. Never let a good suffering go to waste. Never let a good suffering go to waste. Whatever you're going through, journal about it, you never know. It may be, you know, journal entries that go into your memoir one day. Right. Um, so super helpful. All right, so as we wrap up, I just wanted to share one last, uh, one last thing. And that's basically, um, you know, the, they they're gonna are gonna be seasons where you are financially successful. There are gonna be seasons where a lot of things are going right in your life. Right. And, um, and thank you Anita. Uh, affirmations. I didn't mention affirmations enough. On this session, but affirmations go a long way. Having affirmations like this too shall pass, right? Affirmations. I'm blessed and highly favored. I'm, I'm good enough, I'm strong enough, I'm capable. All of these different affirmations, most certainly help, and that can be one of your weapons for navigating through these, uh, challenges. But, um, remember there there'll be seasons where, um, you know, everything is kind of working out, but there's an emptiness there and understand that that emptiness really is the realization that success without peace is just stress in disguise. Success without peace is just stress in disguise. So you may be financially successful, you may be successful with your status or your position, or whatever the case may be, but if you are not taking care of the wellbeing of your whole being. You'll hit a brick wall of emptiness. And that brick wall of emptiness again, is oftentimes just stress in disguise. It may, your relationships are in turmoil or maybe you don't have a, a connection with your kid or your creator or whatever it is. Uh, so make sure that you're, again, nurturing the, the main areas of your life. And this is why you guys oftentimes hear me talk about the five F's. And it's a way to compartmentalize your life, your faith, your fitness, your family, your fortune and your fun, and give your t to those things, your t being an acronym for your time, your energy, and your attention. So what are you giving your time, energy, and attention to? And are you basically nurturing the garden of your mind? Are you nurturing these important areas of your life? And that's what I mean when I reference hustle harmony. It's not to like, not hustle. It's not to not work hard, but it's, it's to work a lot smarter. It's not just work harder, it's also working smarter. It's understanding that you know what rest doesn't mean. Laziness. Rest means that I have more of a capacity to work hard. I have more of a capacity for responsibility. Responsibility being nothing more than your ability to respond, your ability to respond to all of the obstacles that you encounter throughout the course of your life. So my challenge to you is to do one thing today for your mental health. One thing today, whatever it is, whether it's going for a walk, whether it's journaling, whether it's affirmations, whatever it is, and implement it today. And if this session was valuable for you, drop a comment, like, comment, share, tag, all of that good stuff. Breakfast is officially served and I hope you guys, uh, got something out of this. And uh, again. Uh, you know, pause this episode once you finish, or even if you're watching it right now, go, go outside. Take deep, uh, three deep breaths. You know, get some stretching in, whatever you gotta do. Uh, but my hope is that you can take some of the tools that we shared here today and implement it in your own life. And, uh, you know, thank you so much for those of you who tune in. Uh, by the way, if you guys would like to, uh, book a complimentary coaching session, maybe you're navigating through, uh, your own mental health challenges, you could DM me the word coach. Uh, every week I have a certain amount of slots that I allocate. Some weeks I don't have any slots available. Um, but this week I believe I do. So, uh, you guys can dm me the word, uh, coach, and I'll be more than happy to send you my Calendly link. I may even share it in the description tab or the comments later on. So just keep an eye out for that. Um, but, uh, yeah, feel free to hit me up. Uh, if you have any questions or, uh, you even just need some guidance on anything that you're. Dealing with, you know, it could be, uh, just a voice note that I send, but I, I interact with our Breakfast Club community all throughout the week. There are a lot of you guys that reach out to me for different advice and listen, do not suffer in silence. There are people out here willing to help you with navigate through what it is that you're going through, even if it's just a, a text or a voice note. Doesn't always just have to be like the capacity of a coaching session, but, um, you know, it, it is helpful to just check in with someone. Do not do life alone. There are people out here willing to help you navigate through it, and I'm one of those people. So God bless you all. Take care. Breakfast is officially served. I'll be seeing you all next week.