Finding Peace in the Midst of a Storm

Finding Peace in the Midst of Life's Storms – Stoic Wisdom and Practical Strategies

In this empowering session of the Breakfast Club, host Josh Valentin discusses how to find peace amidst life's inevitable challenges. Drawing inspiration from stoic philosophy, Josh shares insights from Marcus Aurelius, Epictetus, and the Daily Stoic by Ryan Holiday. He emphasizes the importance of training, mindfulness, faith, and community. The episode covers practical tips like breathing exercises, journaling, and staying grounded with one's support system. Josh also recounts a personal story of training with a Shaolin monk and the lessons learned about resilience. Tune in to discover strategies for navigating storms and emerging stronger and wiser.

00:00 Introduction to Finding Peace in the Storm
01:19 Personal Development and Stoic Philosophy
05:24 The Importance of Consistent Practice
08:37 Lessons from a Shaolin Monk
15:05 Navigating Life's Storms
25:13 Principles for Finding Peace
32:05 Faith Over Fear
34:21 Embracing Gratitude and Past Victories
36:51 Community Over Isolation
48:02 Practical Anchors for Peace
53:49 Real-Life Applications and Final Thoughts

Transcript

0:00

today's topic is going to be finding peace in the midst of a storm, finding peace in the midst of a storm. And I was inspired to do a breakfast club session specifically on this because for those of you who don't know, I'm an expert contributor for an NBC network out here in my city. And I oftentimes share different topics around life coaching and personal development. And the topic that they brought me to speak on last week was centered around finding peace and different ways that people around the world find peace, right when they're navigating through different challenges. So I feel like today a lot of you are gonna be able to get value and yeah, take notes as if you're gonna have to teach this to someone treat this like you're sitting in a lecture hall or you're taking a class from a professor. And that's the best way that you're gonna get the very most value out of the Breakfast Club session. With that being said, guys let's get ready to jump right into it. I know we have people tuning in on different platforms, and by the way, we also stream on platforms like LinkedIn, YouTube, Instagram Facebook. You can catch the recording of the Breakfast Club and also just hop over to the Journey podcast wherever podcasts are streamed. Let's get this show on the road. With that being said, all right we actually, the first 20 to 30 minutes, we typically share different things centered around personal development. Sometimes it's life hacks, fun facts, different personal development shares. Today I am going to be covering a a snippet from the Daily Stoic really good book on stoic philosophy, which is definitely one of my favorite types of philosophy and love learning from the ancient stoics. And this is a really good book by Ryan Holiday, which is Ryan is one of the foremost thought leaders on stoic philosophy. So he has a lot of great content on that. And let's jump into it. The share for this book is going to be how you do anything is how you do everything. One of my favorite quotes. And basically it says, pay attention to what's in front of you, the principle, the task, or what's being portrayed. And this is from Marcus Aurelius from his book Meditations. Now, if you've never read meditations by Marcus Aurelius was an emperor in Rome. And he actually lived and walked on this planet. And during his time as an emperor, he actually journaled king David in the Bible. And he journaled about what he was going through and he shared a lot of wisdom on stoic philosophy. So the book meditations are a lot of his journal entries, which is pretty cool. And he lived a very interesting life. During those times it was absolutely brutal. But but a really great read if you've never checked it out. So Marcus Aurelius is considered as like one of the great stoics. You have other stoics, philosophers like Epictetus and Seneca, but really great read. Now it's fun to think about the future. It's easy to ruminate on the past. It's harder to put that energy into what's in front of us right at this moment, especially if it's something we don't want to do. We think this is just the job. It isn't who I am. It doesn't matter, but it does. Who knows? It might be the last thing you ever do. Here lies Dave buried alive under a mountain of unfinished business. There is an old saying, how you do anything is how you do everything. It's true. How you handle today is how you'll handle every day. How you handle this minute is how you'll handle. Every minute. And I always gotta remind myself of that. It's important no matter what it is that you do, it's always gonna be important to not half-ass. Like whatever it is that you do, to do everything with at your very best. Because the macro is a direct reflection of the micro. Typically, your outer world is gonna be a direction, a direct reflection of your inner world. And this is a big reason. If you guys jump on my Breakfast Club sessions, and I oftentimes talk about just getting your household in order. Whenever you're in a space of your, in, in your life or a season in your life where you're looking to get back on track, get your household in order, right? Clean your space. And a cluttered mine is a cluttered a cluttered home is a cluttered mine is a cluttered life. And that's typically one of the very first places that I start, is just like my inner world, right? Like your home is just one aspect, but it's also getting your mind getting your body getting in tune, spiritually, emotionally, physically, mentally, all of that good stuff. And you'll notice a significant difference. And it's important to treat the little things right? The little nuances, the little things that seem mundane and to treat them with care because you're, again, your outer world is always gonna be a direct reflection of your inner world. That may seem minuscule at the moment, but when you treat these things with care and you go about them with excellence you'll see a direct reflection in a lot of other areas of your life. Okay, so here's another share from the daily stoic. Learn, practice, train. That's why the philosophers warn us not to be satisfied with mere learning, but to add practice and then training for as time passes. We forget that we learned and end up doing the opposite and hold opinions the opposite of what we should Epictetus. And this is from his book Discourses. And a lot of the times, like I noticed the ancients they're not necessarily books, but they're like journal entries. They're notes that have been. Translated or converted into books. It's like the Bible, right? The Bible isn't necessarily a book, it is a library of many different books. And those books are historical documents, right? They're just words from great prophets and prophecies and all kinds of stuff that are in actual scripture. But it's not like one solid book, per se. It's many different books, over 40 books that are in scripture. And they were written over the course of a thousand years or so, right? So that's the fascinating thing a about it. And a lot of these ancient authors, it's like the same thing. You'll see just fragments of many of their teachings. And then it was essentially put into a book. So this page continues. Very few people can simply watch an instructional video or hear something explained and then know backward and forward how to do it. Most of us actually have to do something several times in order to truly learn. One of the hallmarks of the martial arts, military training and athletic training of almost any kind is the hours upon hours of monotonous practice. An athlete at the highest level will train for years to perform movements that can last mere seconds or less. The two minute drill, how to escape from a choke hold, the perfect jumper simply knowing isn't enough. It must be absorbed into the muscles and the body. It must become part of us, or we risk losing it. The second that we experience stress or difficulty. It is true with philosophical principles as well. You can't just hear something once and expect to rely on it when the world is crashing down around us. Remember, Marcus Aurelius wasn't writing his meditations for other people. He was actively meditating for himself, even as a successful, wise and experienced man he was until the last days of his life practicing and training himself to do the right thing like a black belt. He was still showing up to the dojo every day to roll like a professional athlete. He still showed up to practice each week, even though other players thought it wa it was unnecessary. So many of you who followed my work over the years I spent some time training with a shall shalin monk, a 36 generation warrior Shalin monk, actually trained kung fu Tai Chi Qigong with this monk. Lived with him and a bunch of other of his students, and got to train with him. And a lot of the training that we did were essentially the same moves over and over and over again. And throughout the course of your life, if you wanna master anything, that's essentially what it looks like. They say you get praised in public for what you do in private and oftentimes. What you're doing in private isn't so glorious typically. Like it looks glorious when people win and you see the finished product. But the foundation, the process where you're actually doing the practice, doing the training, it's not so glorious. It's the same moves over and over. Wax on, wax off, wax on, wax off. And it's interesting, I remember hearing this story of this great warrior monk, and he had many disciples. And I remember and I shared this story from time to time, but I remember hearing that there was a group of his disciples, one time training and they were training specifically in archery. One of the disciples were like very talented, like super gifted. And it was amazing because out of all the different disciples that were working under this monk this one student really stood out, but he started to get a bit cocky and arrogant. He started to get full. He was getting full of himself. And one day the monk takes the group of disciples out to this great mountain and up this great mountain. They spend hours and hours climbing this mountain. And they finally get to like this this high part of the mountain with this crevice that dropped down like hundreds of feet and there was a tree that actually was like a natural bridge in between this gap, right? The monk walks on the tree, and it was this massive tree that, that was like a bridge there. And the monk basically walks to the middle of the tree. Now imagine that there was a drop below hundreds of feet. And then he starts telling the disciples that they were gonna have to walk across and they thought he was crazy. Just even him walking there, right? Walking across the tree. It was just like, wow. That's super intimidating. There's no way in the world I'm gonna walk over that tree. So he goes and calls out the cocky disciple, and he tells him to come walk to him like in the middle of the tree. The arrogant disciple was just like, you know what? Like he his pride was shot a little bit and all of the other disciples were like laughing at him. So he mu up the courage to walk to the tree and he looks below and sees this drop. So then he starts crawling, right? He doesn't have the ability to just walk like the shalin monk. And he's crawling on the tree, barely inching forward, scared out of his mind, right? And then the monk tells the disciple to stand up in the middle, right? Remember there's a drop below and he tells him to pull out his bow and arrow and to shoot this other tree that was like really far in the distance, over a hundred feet away. So the. The shallen monk takes an arrow and shoots exactly where he wants the disciple to shoot. And the disciple, essentially what he tells him I want you to shoot that arrow. Shoot exactly where it is. And the disciple like, is so scared that he picks up the bow and arrow and he's trembling and he pulls back the arrow and he's like barely opening up his eyes and shoots in that direction. And he misses it by a hundred feet. Like he had, he was nowhere near where he was supposed to shoot his target. And he was trembling and scared and all of the other disciples were laughing at him, and then the master takes out another arrow and stands up right in the middle of this tree and shoots the original arrow and splits. The original arrow that he shot splits it in half, right? And then he tells the student try again. And he pulls back his arrow and he's so scared and terrified at falling that he ends up like just not being able to hit the target. And what the master told the disciple in that moment is that no matter how talented and gifted you are, right? No matter how much you train, that training means nothing if you can't use it in your moments of fear. That training, that personal development, all of that stuff that you learn means nothing if you can't use it when you need it the most. And that's the thing is that there's a saying in the military that you want to, the more you sweat in times of peace, the less you bleed in times of war. It always is important to, again stay ready so you don't have to get ready. And there's another saying that I love that it's much better to be a warrior in a garden than a gardener in a war, right? And that's why the personal development is so important. That's why the training is so important, because when you're in the midst of a storm, you're going to need something to keep you anchored. You're gonna need an anchor to go back to. So the storm doesn't knock you off track. You're gonna need something to count on something solid that you can fall back on. And one of the things that I've learned that has become my anchor is to trust my training. Trust my training. You do all the personal development, you develop yourself and you read the books, you listen to the audios. You hop on the breakfast club you go on the podcast, all of these different things. You invest in the seminars. It's for the storms. The more you sweat in times of peace, the less you bleed in times of war. So you are really fortifying your mind, your emotions, your knowledge, your experience, all of these different things so that you can properly navigate through the storms of life. That's what you're training for. Because the one thing about life is that storms are inevitable. There's absolutely nothing you can do to avoid the storms, like storms happen to all of us. But how do you find peace in the midst of the storm? How do you calm your nervous system? How do you cultivate your faith so that your faith also becomes an anchor? Not just your training, right? But your faith, your perspective, all of these different things. Your self care, right? So that you can properly navigate through the storm. And the beautiful thing about storms is that they have an interesting way of humbling you. Also building you up in a major way, making you stronger, making you more resilient, making you wiser, making you more compassionate and empathetic, giving you some something that allows you to appreciate your journey even more. The storms are actually like blessings in disguise in a sense. And they also don't last, they don't last. The very nature of a storm is that they eventually fade away and you will get through. The question is, how do you navigate through the storm? How do you find peace in the midst of the storm? And that's what we're gonna be covering here today on this Breakfast Club session. Let's get this party started. Life has a way of throwing storms at us. Some are small, like unexpected bills or work stress. Others are life changing, like losing a job, health battles, broken relationships, and grief. That's the thing about life is that the storms they take, they, they take many different forms. Sometimes it's gonna be a financial storm, sometimes it's gonna be your personal health, or you go through a breakup or a divorce or something like that. And the thing about it is you can have something to keep you anchored, keep you grounded whenever you are going through these things. Okay. One thing about about my journey is that I've encountered a lot of storms, right? I I'm a father of three children. I lead a community, I'm a serial entrepreneur. And one of the storms that always pop up in entrepreneurship are like different challenges, financial storms, you go through challenges in business. Sometimes businesses are thriving, and then other times you're getting rocked by business. So how do you when shit hits the fan how do you really get yourself anchored? And that's what I'm really excited to cover. And I think that the analogy of storms are quite appropriate. I actually I was thinking about like this talk here today about storms and the fact that I worked at, I worked as a maritime captain for quite some time. I actually went to a military college and got my Coast Guard license to operate ships and worked as a merchant marine piloting cargo as a merchant, marine captain, licensed captain by the Coast Guard. And actually still actively keep it keep my license active. So the reason why I bring that up is because there have been times where I've been out at sea and legit, almost lost my life out at sea because of storms. And the one thing that we've always learned to do when the storms hit is to trust your training. So there's certain protocol that you take whenever you're in the middle of a storm, and for example, on the main deck of the boat, whenever you're on a boat, like you have to they say you dog the hatches, right? So all of the doors on the main deck, you have to make sure they're closed because the thing about storms is that ships don't sink because of the water around the ship, ships and boats sink because of the water that gets in the boat or the ship. So it's the same with life. It's like we're always going to be navigating through this vast ocean of life, and you're not going to crumble because of the vast ocean. You're going to crumble if you allow the water to get within you. And the water being symbolic for whatever life's obstacles are. You have to make sure that you can still maneuver through those storms and not allow the water to get in and sink you. So there's certain protocol, and that's why it's important to trust your training. When you're out in, in, in a storm you have certain protocols, certain things that you do so that you can properly navigate through them, like dogging the hatchets, right? Making sure that everything is secure on deck, everything is secure in inside that vessel, okay? And when it comes to life, it's like when you're encountering a storm what are certain things that you can do to properly navigate? And that's what a lot of what we're gonna be covering here today. Okay? So here we go. Now today I want you guys to walk with. Or walk with you through how to find peace, not after the storm is over, but in the very middle of it. Because peace isn't found in calm waters. It's built in chaos, okay? It's built in chaos. Now, part one of what we're gonna be covering is understanding the nature of storms. Okay? So again, take notes as if you're gonna have to teach this. All right? As I always share, the weakest ink is stronger than the strongest memory. So take notes because the vast majority of this stuff, you will forget. Now, the very first aspect of the nature of a storm is storms are inevitable. Nobody escapes from storms, okay? And it could be success, money, health storms do not discriminate. And it's always important to remember that storms do not discriminate. They will take many different forms. Another aspect of storms, as I mentioned earlier, is that storms are temporary. So even the worst hurricane eventually passes that perspective shifts how we experience them. I remember sitting through in The Bahamas, we got rocked with a category five, I think it was hurricane Matthew, if I'm not mistaken, a couple years ago. And man, it, it was brutal. It was brutal. I remember one of the hurricanes, one of our shipmates from college actually lost his life with his children, right? And storms. Storms can be very unforgiving and it was just like very unfortunate. But the thing about it is as much damage that the storm did. Eventually you find your way back and you do damage control, but you also, you recover and you clean up what needs to be cleaned up. The storm will subside no matter how big, whether it's a category one or category five, it will subside. Okay. Another aspect of storms are that storms reveal character. Just like pressure reveals cracks in a foundation, storms expose what we're leaning on. Okay? And that's the good thing about storms is that storms reveal a lot about yourself, reveal a lot about the people you're doing life with. You'll find out real quick who's really down for you and who's not, when times are really tough. So it's a truth telling season Whenever you're going through storms, now ask yourself, what do you anchor to? Because if your peace depends on circumstances, you'll always be at the mercy of life. If your peace. Relies on circumstances you'll always be at the mercy of life. Your peace has to be in something greater, okay? Because there's always going to be something happening. In fact, I'm a firm believer that we always say that there's 3, 3, 3 seasons. You're in life. You're either in a storm or you just got out of a storm, or you're getting ready to go into a storm, and that's just the way the world works, right? You may be getting out of a financial storm in one season, and now you're in a relationship storm or getting out of a relationship storm, and now you're in a health storm. Or maybe it's calm, right? And that's the case. But understand that at some point in time, you will end up back in a storm. Okay? So remember, water outside won't sink aship. It's only when it gets inside. It's always gonna be the same with us. Peace comes from what we allow inside. Next up, we have principles for finding peace. Okay? The first is the perspective over problems. Having perspective over the problems that you're currently facing. So what you wanna do is shift from why is this happening? To what can I learn from this? Why is this happening? To, what can I learn from this? Every setback, every obstacle can be a great teacher. And imagine if you approach your challenges like that. That's how you end up wiser is when you look for the treasure and the trash, when you look for the inspiring message in that mess you're currently in. Okay? So an example would be a failed business deal might actually read direct you to better opportunity. A failed business. They like I remember when my business the business that I was associated with during COVID end up going bankrupt, right? A business that I had been a part of for years. But, you know what, if that had not happened, there probably would be no Journey podcast. There probably would be no Dream Nation media. My, my recent company that we launched back in October in 60 plus countries worldwide, we, that would've never have happened there. There's so many blessings that came out of it. I probably would not be living where I'm living today because the people that encouraged me to even move out to my city legit, like these were people that I got closer to after that storm. So it, it's just interesting how life works in that way, and that's why one of the best things to anchor yourself with is that. You, you can very well just trust the process. Trust the process that God is working out. Whatever you're going through for something greater, right? There's something happening, something cultivating, there's a germination process in that storm that you're in. And you if you stay diligent and you extract the good out of it you typically end up better. Okay? So super important to understand, and here's a great quote. Pain that isn't transformed is transmitted. Pain that isn't transformed is transmitted. You wanna channel that pain and use it for something that's actually constructive. Next is presence over panic. Presence over panic. So panic beco panic comes from focusing on the future, imagining worst case scenarios. That's when you have anxiety, when you have overwhelm. There's a saying that fear is an acronym for false expectations appearing real. 90% of the things that we worry about, isn't it true that they typically don't happen? Over 90% of the things that we worry about don't happen, and we waste all this time, all of this emotional bandwidth that is being wasted on worrying on things that never even happen. So that's why you have to take back control over your mind, okay? And peace also comes from being fully present in this moment. Because if you don't have peace, chances are you're worried about the future. Sometimes people are having anxiety because of the past, right? So you have to continue to move forward. No stinking thinking. That's the idea. Now, there are certain things that you can do to calm your nervous system, because typically what's happening is when you're experiencing panic. Typically you're experiencing panic because your nervous system is compromised, your body is signaling that it's in danger. And when that sympathetic nervous system kicks in, your body is either fight, flight, or freeze. How many of you can relate to that where you're so debilitated, like you're either gonna go hard and fight your way through the problems, and sometimes you don't even have it in you to fight and you're more so freezing or just running altogether away from the problems. You, you have what they call the ostrich effect that takes over you. The ostrich effect is when an ostrich is in great danger, typically what it does is it buries its head in the sand like that. That's its strategy for going against its predators, right? It buries its head in the sand. And a lot of us tend to do that in life. When things get really difficult, like we don't take on these challenges head on, sometimes we don't even run. We just freeze. We put our heads in the sand and don't do anything. But one thing that I can tell you is sometimes that is not the best approach. You have to do what you can to figure your situation out. Sometimes you just have to calm your nervous system, and there's a lot of effective ways that you can do that. So the other week I spoke about the tapping method. Really great, a tool and strategy for calming down your nervous system. I oftentimes talk about breathing techniques like box breathing, for example. So the tapping method is tapping on specific meridians in your body. And this comes from the world of Chinese acupuncture. There's certain meridians in the body that if you just tap on them lightly. There, there are about nine that I know about. You have right here by that hands width underneath your armpit, you have on the side of your hand, you can just tap on it for a few seconds. You have right here by your the brim of your eyebrow on the side, underneath your eyes, underneath your nose, underneath your lip, right on your collarbone and on the top of your head, just lightly tapping on them. And it's a really great tool for just calming your nervous system. Give it a shot like Google Tapping Method. There's also apps for it, but it's a really great strategy just to calm yourself down. Sometimes it's just breathing, deep breathing. And I like box breathing. Very simple, straight to the point. You inhale for about four seconds. Hold your breath for four seconds, exhale for four seconds, and hold your breath on empty lungs for four seconds, and you do it four times, right? Very simple. But this is also a really great tool for calming your nervous system. Okay. If you guys are getting value so far, drop a v in the comments. I wanna make sure that you are all with me. Drop a V for value. All right, let's keep this show on the road. Next up we have faith over fear. Okay, faith over fear. Fear multiplies in storms, but faith stabilizes. Okay, so fear mobilizes. Fear multiplies, right? It grows in, in the midst of a storm. So if you allow fear to seep in, it will eventually grow. It'll make the storm even worse. But when you have faith will allow you to stabilize, right? The storm, and it's again, it's like. When you trust your training, you drop the anchor in the middle of the storm. Depending on the storm, sometimes it's most effective to not push forward, but drop the anchor and point the vessel in the direction of where the waves are coming, right? Your training will tell you, don't allow those storms to hit you broadside and capsize your ship. And the reason why I bring that up is because sometimes in life you have to recalibrate. You have to ground yourself. You have to say, okay, what's going on here? What am I missing? Am I doing something wrong? Do I need to grow my faith where I'm at right now? Sometimes. Sometimes being still is the most effective approach. Sometimes surrender is the most effective approach. Not all the time, but sometimes it is. Sometimes when you've exhausted all of your options, all you've got is your faith. All you've got is your surrender. But part of your anchor should always be doing all that you can do. And that's why I cover a lot of stoic philosophy in my teachings because stoicism is all about cultivating the courage to change what you can and accepting what you can't control and being okay with that. And that's where faith kicks in when you're at that point where if all you've got is surrender, having the faith that something is going to really end up leading to that situation, being a blessing, that God is going to take care of the rest. Okay, so faith over fear now there's things that help when you are going through these storms. Again, having those anchors. So gratitude is another one, right? Gratitude is another one, but sometimes. You've gotta remind yourself who the hell you are. You gotta remind yourself of things that you've overcome. So it is important sometimes to revisit past victories, revisit times you've overcome storms in the past and remind yourself that you've survived a hundred percent of your hardest days so far. You've survived all of them, right? You and remind yourself there. There's a I remember hearing this story of the enemy getting into this warrior's ear. And this warrior was this one of the greatest warriors of all time. And the, and the story talks about the enemy seeping in his ear saying that you won't be able to get through this storm. And the warrior whispered back to the enemy. I am the storm. I am the storm. That's attitude. That's reminding yourself of your greatness, not allowing that inner voice to consume you, that voice that's trying to devour you, not allowing it to devour you because you serve a greater God, right? You have to take back control over your power and remind yourself of your power. Remind yourself of your greatness. Remind yourself of those past victories. Remind yourself that you're a winner, that you're a champion, that you came into this world born a winner, right? We all did. You don't come into this world without being a winner. It's actually a prerequisite for being a human being, because they're about a half a billion sperm cell that were going for that one egg, and you just so happen to be the one that, that, that survived and made it right. So every single person, it is our human nature, right? To be born a winner. We all won the first race of life. And throughout your entire life, you're constantly going to go through these different storms and you have survived a hundred percent of everything that you've gone through. And we need those reminders from time to time. Next, we have community over isolation. Storms push us to isolate, but isolation, magnifies fear. I had saw a I heard in a podcast the other day from a health expert, and you guys are more than welcome to look up the research on it, but one of the things that this health expert mentioned is that isolation can be even more detrimental to your health than alcohol, like legit people. Think about COVID. How many people were drastically affected during COVID because of the isolation. Isolation will really debilitate you, and in fact. On my TV segment this past week, one of the things that I spoke about is in Spain. When I went to Spain the other week, I was out in Barcelona. And I learned a lot about Spanish culture. And what I learned also is that Spain is ranked as one of the healthiest nations in the world, and they're one of the healthiest nations in the world. Not necessarily just because of their Mediterranean diet or anything like that. They're or even they have health programs in terms of Medicare not Medicare, but good healthcare systems. But a big contributor to the wellbeing of people in Spain are their lifestyle, their, the way their lifestyle is designed. So Spain has two things in their lifestyle that's embedded in their culture. They have what you call a siesta, and they have what you call a esa. Now a siesta is during the afternoon times in Spain, everything shuts down like around two o'clock from two to five, like legit, the streets get empty. A lot of businesses shut down and people are like, if you're a tourist, you're like, where the hell did everybody go? And that's because in Spain, they have rest and relaxation during the middle of the day, and they have these csta. Remember, our bodies weren't really designed for the nine to five system. You have a circadian rhythm and you have a specific way your body is designed and many of like what it's like to eat lunch and then feel super tired. You get lethargic, right? You don't really have any motivation after lunch. And in Spain, they actually. Have about a three hour break to do whatever the hell they want. It can be going for a walk with friends, it can be taking a nap, right? But rest is a big part of the culture. And when you think about it, for us here on the other side of the pond, in the Americas like hustle culture is a big part of the way that we live. It's all about grinding. It's all about maximizing the hours and efficiency, right? And Spanish, just the complete opposite. They also have the, where the idea is that for most of us in the states, we eat at restaurants for an hour to two hours, and then that waiter is bringing that bill or bringing the check and you know it's time to go, right? They're trying to give you the signal like, Hey, we got some more people that we want to fill up these seats with. Now in Spain, the idea of the ESSA is once you eat, then you start the process of. Having conversation with your loved ones, having conversation with family and friends for hours, sometimes, like it's very common to sit at a restaurant table for five hours in Spain. No joke. And the reason why I bring that up is because it fosters social bonding. It fosters people being able to talk about different things that they're going through in life. And the beautiful thing about bonding with family and friends is you have the oxytocin benefits. Oxytocin is the hormone in your body. It's the love hormone. It's what makes you feel those warm and fuzzy feelings, and that is deeply embedded in their culture. And that's a great contributor to why they're such a healthy society. So why do we bring this up? Is because the idea should be community over isolation. When you're going through a storm, get plugged into your community, tap with your tribe. Every Sunday, I just shut everything down and we go to church, we hang out with our family, with our friends. We're getting together. And my wife and I, we've been more intentional about just sitting down with our kids for dinner. No technology, no phones, none of that sitting down just to have conversations. And it's funny, my kids, they, we played this game what is it called? You have to, I spy it's like I spy something red and we have to look around the room and find out like what's that specific color, right? But we'll have different games like that, right? Or never have I ever, like things that we talk about. We talk about just their what they have going on, things that they wanna do, and funny stuff. And and the reason why that's so important is because again you're stabilizing your nervous system. You have the oxytocin benefits. It's you're able to express your emotions, whatever it's you're going through, and it truly does help navigating through storms do not suffer in silence. People are out there living lives of quiet desperation with no one to talk to. It's crazy. We have over 8 billion people on this planet and all of this technology to keep us connected, but never have human beings been as lonely as they are throughout the entire humanity. Isn't that something? We have all this technology to keep us close, keep us bonded together, but humans are desperately alone. So it is important to build your tribe, build your community. Your community is a part of your health. Don't think of community as something that's separate from your fitness, separate from your overall health. Your community plays a major contributing factor in, in your overall wellbeing. So spend time nurturing that community because when your cup is depleted, your community will be there to fill your cup and pick a community that's actually positive. And they don't talk about just negative stuff all the time. They're not sitting there gossiping about other people. Get a community or get into a community of people who are actually very supportive and they talk about dreams, goals, and aspirations. And not just, they're talking about toxic shit, right? Or talk, talking about things that aren't positive, aren't helpful, super important. Okay. Now leaning on friends, mentors, coaches, or even just supportive online communities can go really far. Okay, get a part. If you don't have a community directly, like in your neighborhood, find online communities. That's what the Breakfast Club is. People hop on every single week, and it's a community. Sometimes we travel together. Sometimes you guys will see me at business conventions. Like we have our Creators conference coming up in the fall. Many of you guys will be there, right? And if you want information on that DM me creators conference, I'll be more than happy to send you information. You can actually hop over to doug creators conference.com and find information on it. But we foster and curate these experiences so that we can all get together because it's not always about high tech. It's high touch, right? It's getting belly to belly with your community. Okay. And I always I love doing complimentary coaching sessions for our community. It's one of my way of serving this community. And by the way, if you haven't done a complimentary coaching session with me in the past just DM me the word coach. I open up a certain amount of slots every single week. For complimentary coaching sessions for this community, or if it's been over six months since you've last spoken with me. And maybe you just need someone to talk to. You need someone to be able to vent and express yourself. And maybe you need some clarity on this specific season. Just DM me the word coach. I'd be more than happy to touch base with you. And this has been one of my greatest contributions to this community has been just offering these complimentary coaching sessions because I get it sometimes it's expensive for someone to be able to afford especially when life is life and then Bills a billing. It's tough for people to be able to invest in masterminds and seminars and coaches and all of that. I always just love being a blessing and this is what has blessed my life, honestly. I'm a firm believer in that. One of the things that come to mind is when I've been at my lowest I have some of my closest friends. I've been able to be vulnerable with, and you wanna be able specialist, especially US men, we have to find somebody that, that is a safe space for us to be vulnerable with. And sometimes not all people are, it's not good to be vulnerable with anybody.'cause some people like they, they'll be quick to tell your business right quick to put your stuff on blast. And my recommendation is if someone gossips a lot about other people, that's not your person. That's not your go-to person to talk about your problems and be vulnerable with, because who you think they're talking about when you're not around? Like they're probably talking about you. So be very mindful of that. You don't wanna be like too open, too vulnerable all the time with people who are gossipers. Unless you're cool with them telling your business, right? That's something that you always have to be mindful of. So I know one of the people that come to mind is my best friend, my suit and I got, I have a handful of best friends that I can go to and just talk about anything in life. Like my boy, Darryl, he he's out in Louisiana and I always talk to him about different aspects of life, different things that we go through as men, right? My boy Masu when we're working out in the gym, we're talking about business challenges and everything. And one thing that I've learned is I always feel better after a really good conversation. Sometimes you're in a space in your life where you can't feel from that empty cup that you have to fill your cup. And having community, having people that you can count on that's one of the best ways you can fill your cup in life. Okay, so next we have practical anchors for peace, practical anchors for peace. Here we go. Next we have breathing and stillness. So I'm big on meditation. I meditate every single day. Meditation is a big part of my life. And I remember years ago it was very difficult for me to meditate because in eastern tradition they refer to it as monkey mind. So for me, prayer, meditation, like they, they go hand in hand. So I look at prayer, speaking to God. Meditation is listening to God. And meditation is always just a great way for me to calm my nervous system, for me to get in tune spiritually. I actually have a meditation cushion, like in my closet that I go to. It's one of the best things for self-care, I can assure you that right now. Now, if you find meditation a bit challenging for you my recommendation is you could even have guided meditations. There's like mindfulness meditations where you can just take deep breaths and have someone like guide you. And I actually like playing the sounds of nature. So there's playlist on apple music, and I'm sure you could find that on YouTube. Just different sounds in nature and it definitely is like very soothing for me. I used to play different times. So Solfeggio frequencies, which are these frequencies or these sounds that are really amazing as well that help calm your nervous system, but different things that you can do to help assist you on your journey of meditation. But remember, breathing and stillness are definitely great forms of. Great anchors for peace, okay? And you could have whether it's a short breathing exercise or a tapping method, all of these things definitely help. Secondly is journal journaling and reflection journaling. I always talk about journaling. I'm a huge proponent for journaling. Even if it's on your phone, if you find that getting a paper and pen is just adding one more step to the process and you're not do whatever, whatever encourages you to journal more, just take that approach. So me writing it on my phone notepad is way more effective for me than actually taking a pen and pat, and it helps tremendously getting your thoughts written down. Now, preferably it's always gonna be better, to do pen and paper, but at a minimum, if you're just not getting around to the pen and paper, at least try it on your phone, okay? And remember, writing clears the storm inside your. It just helps you feel as if you have more control over the storm. Okay. Sometimes just laying out a good game plan. Sometimes that anxiety is just coming from confusion, it's coming from overwhelm. It just seems like you're being inundated with all of these different obstacles and you don't know where to go. Okay. Next we have number three focus on controllables. And this is again, goes back to the idea of stoicism, focusing on what you can control. So the idea is to list three things that you can do today and release what's out of your hands. So three things, whether that's, let's just say you have to call the IRS. That may be the one thing that has been a burden for you. Or maybe you have to call your insurance, or maybe you have to reach out to that prospect or whatever. It's, but list three things that you can actually do today, and I always refer to it as your three to thrive or your big three, right? Have three top priorities that if you don't accomplish anything for the day, but those three, then you know that the day was a win. Okay? But focus on the controllables. What's within the parameters of your control? Number four is spiritual practices. Okay? So that could be prayer, meditation, affirmations, scripture, gratitude. Gratitude is a big one, right? But what do you do? What are your spiritual practices? It may be going to whether it's a church, synagogue, MAs, temple, whatever it is, but have some type of spiritual practice as an anchor. Number five is movement and environment. This is a big one. I oftentimes share on the breakfast club that I walk about three miles a day right around my neighborhood because walking, getting out in the sun, not only do you get the vitamin D benefits from the sun, but also the serotonin benefits from sunlight. So serotonin is a mood stabilizer. It's the hormone that makes you feel good, and that's one of the biggest benefits of walking outside, getting around nature. Allow nature to heal you and restore you. Okay? Change your scenery. Remember, nature calms storms in the mind, okay? It helps you be more present. Number six is lean on your people. So call someone you trust. Sometimes hearing a different voice is the breakthrough. I know some of my friends they gave me one piece of encouragement and it shifted my perspective. And this happens all the time. Just a great conversation will lead to a different perspective. That helps. Okay? There's so many different things that you can do this week. Whatever storm you're navigating through, whether again, it's financial, whether it's your relationship, whether it's your health, okay? There, there are certain things that you can do to get yourself anchored, right? Get your perspective back, all of these different things, okay? And part four of this is just real life applications, right? So for example, you may be an entrepreneur and you're having the stress of uncertainty. You may have had a failed business, you may be going through a financial storm, and you're anchor for entrepre. Can specifically be focusing on the controllables and trusting the process, having faith, right? That could perhaps be your anchor for those of you who are entrepreneurs, just focusing on what you can control, okay? Now, if it's family or relationships, you may have misunderstandings. Maybe you haven't heard from your children in a while, right? There's distance or conflict, and perhaps your anchor can be presence and communication. Reaching out to that family member, just being more patient and considerate and empathetic, right? Working on the communication, maybe forgiveness, right? Maybe just apologizing for 1, 1, 1 mistake that you made, but there's so many different ways you can go about having that anchor during relational storms. Maybe your storm might be personal help or inner battle. Sometimes it's your mental health. You got fear, anxiety, burnout, and your anchor could very well be stillness, fate, self-compassion. Sometimes we just need to be kind to ourselves, right? And remember, storms don't define you. They refine you. Storms don't define you. They refine you. They are there to help you grow into becoming the person God intended you to be. Okay? So remember the main points, okay? Is perspective. Having perspective over what it is that you're going through, the perspective. And these are incontrovertible facts. So that perspective is this storm will pass, right? The other perspective is this storm will help me grow into becoming the person that I want to become. It'll make me wiser, it'll make me stronger, it'll make me more patient, more resilient. It'll make me appreciate the journey. That's all a part of the perspective. This storm could be a learning lesson. It's all a part of the perspective. Also, having faith, cultivating your faith, leaning on your faith, you'll grow a much stronger connection with God if you grow in your faith community, right? Getting closer to your family. Go getting closer to your friends. Maybe you have to go through that eviction process and raise the rent on people who've been squatting in your mind. Rent free for a long time, and you may have to put a doorman at the door at the doorway of your mind. That is, is intentionally there to keep certain people out. It's called boundaries. Setting boundaries. Maybe you have to love some of your family at a distance. Maybe you have to create limited associations. With some of your family and friends because they're just bringing too much negativity or maybe they're engaged in too many bad habits, and those bad habits are rubbing off on you now you have to know what's right for you and what's no longer right for you. And acknowledging that and being okay with making those changes, being okay with letting go. Sometimes there are just certain relationships that have not been conducive to your overall wellbeing, and you have to go into that eviction process. Okay? So that's when it comes to community, some of the things that you can do, and just having very practical anchors. So if you're in a storm, like some of my practical anchors, having faith, having gratitude, prayer, meditation, getting connected with my community, going to church, all of these different things are super helpful. Have these anchors focusing on what I can control, focusing on, on, on my mindset. Because sometimes again, you'll have that, that scared little boy, scared little girl whispering in your ear, fearful, terrified, telling you that you're not enough, telling you it's not gonna happen, right? But those are lies from the pit of hell. Again, the enemy will tell you're not gonna get through the storm and your job is to whisper back. I am the storm. I am the storm. I've gotten through over a hundred percent of the storms that I've gone through and you will get through this one. So ladies and gentlemen, remember, peace doesn't mean the storm isn't there. It simply means the storm doesn't control you, it doesn't define you, right? It's there to make you who God intended you to become. And my hope is that you guys got some value out of today's session. You got some tools, you got some strategies. But don't just keep these tools and strategies for yourself. Go out in the world and reach those who desperately need this, right? Reach those who, who need just some encouragement, who need some strategies, who need some tools. You'll be surprised at who's suffering in silence. You'd be surprised at who's living a life of quiet desperation. And we could be a blessing to so many people if we just go out there and reach people. Give someone a call. Maybe there's someone you haven't spoken to in a while and maybe they've been a bit distant, you haven't been seeing them on social media, and there are people going through some really difficult seasons. And you can be that guardian angel for them. You could be that blessing. And I can assure you when you approach life like that, someone will show up for you at your lowest. And be a blessing to those with no expectation no, nothing that you're expecting in return from that person. Just to check in, just to tap in, see how you can be the person to pour into someone's empty cup. Okay? So my recommendation is go out learn, practice, teach, and all in all, thank you guys so much. If you got value from today's segment, drop a like, comment, share, tag, someone who can get value. It's greatly appreciated. Thank you for all of you who are always willing to share this blessing, subscribe. If you can sub subscribe, that'll be great. As well. I just dropped a new podcast episode this week, so go check that out. I had a psychologist that I interviewed recently, Dr. Sarah, a phenomenal light to this world and there's so many other interviews on there, so go check it out at the Journey Podcast. And make sure you follow me on Instagram at the World Traveler and wherever you can find Josh Valentine. So thank you. God bless. Breakfast is served and I'll be seeing you guys next week. Take care.