Your Story is Your Superpower

Transcript

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Your story is your superpower and why your story is your superpower. today we're gonna be covering a lot of great topics around that. Just really, making the most out of your story. I think that it's safe to say that we've all have gone through different things in life and, throughout my entrepreneurial journey, most certainly have. Had a lot of moments where I've had to leverage my story and there's so many benefits to just really crafting your story no matter what you've gone through. And I remember hearing years ago, a wise person say that there's treasure in that trash. There's an inspiring message in your mess no matter what you've gone through in life. Today I want to go into how you guys can really maximize and benefit from your story. And, there's so many different ways to go about this and I'm about to get this show on the road before I do, so I have some shares for you all. And typically the first 20 to 30 minutes or so, we cover different shares on personal development, life coaching, all that good stuff. And if you're new. Drop a comment by the way, if you're tuning in from a specific city, drop your city in the comments. If you're watching the replay, drop an R in the comments if you're watching the replay. But if you're new, welcome. I know a lot of people, they jump on for the very first time and they're like, okay, what is this all about? Every single week is something different. We cover a lot of different topics around personal development, life coaching, anything that could essentially make your life better. The Breakfast Club is also streamed from many different platforms, so you can find it at times, even on LinkedIn but YouTube, Facebook, and also wherever podcasts are streamed. So hop over to the Journey podcast. I also have a lot of phenomenal interviews that I have with so many incredible. Dynamic people. Everything from pro athletes to industry experts to celebrities and more. So hop over to the Journey podcast. Make sure you guys take a listen and show some love, drop a comment, leave a review, all that good stuff. So let's jump right into it. The very first share that we have is from the book giant Steps by Tony Robbins and. We're on day 1, 35 here, and the share is to create a new pattern of thinking, feeling, or behaving. You must first interrupt the old pattern to visualize this. Think of a compact disc. Why does it play the same music every time? Because there's an invisible pattern cut into it. Just as it's futile to insert a new CD while another one is still playing, it's a waste of time trying to establish a new behavioral emotional pattern with the old pattern still entrenched. Instead, the minute you indulge in this pattern, interrupt it with as many crazy, bizarre and fun things you can. It's like hearing a song you don't ever want to listen. To, again, ejecting the disc and vigorously scratching its surface until you are certain you'll never be able to hear this song again. Really interesting. It reminds me of the biblical statement that you can't put new wine and old skins and sometimes you get caught up in. Situations where you have these repetitive cycles of self-sabotage, you have these repetitive cycles of things that you probably engage in that aren't necessarily beneficial for you. And it is important to make sure that you break those patterns because there are certain things that you do. For example, if you ever find yourself in a space of self-sabotage, there's a certain breathing pattern that typically happens, right? So what he's describing here is essentially. Breaking whatever patterns are connected. So it may be your very breathing patterns. It may be the way you move your body. It may be certain environments that you go to, but think about it, whenever you are in, let's just say for those of you who experience negative emotions throughout the course of the week, which is pretty much every human being. What leads to that? Especially if you notice that it's an ongoing thing. Sometimes we get anxiety around certain situations or specific environments or whatever, but it is really important to just analyze what leads to you feeling the way that you feel. Sometimes it's a specific person that may trigger you, right? Or certain environments that you're in that may trigger you. But having a really good understanding of. What are those patterns and breaking those patterns by doing the most ridiculous things. And I know my wife and I, we oftentimes talk about this, like, whenever you have that stinking thinking, whenever you have those thoughts that are self-sabotaging, just immediately scrambling it up in your mind and saying, erase, right? Just get it out. I know there, there are tons of times where I have to check my own thoughts because again, some of those thoughts will put you on a downward spiral. So next we have, the reason it's often difficult to change a pattern, emotional or behavioral is that it's literally wired into you. One researcher approved this by moving a monkey's finger back and forth and monitoring the resulting connections between nerve cells. The brain as they were made with repeated movement, he noted that the thread of connection strengthened. And after he'd moved the animal's finger hundreds of times, they bound together to form an irresistible pathway now wired for this behavior. The monkey continued flexing its finger of its own accord, even after the conditioning stopped. Many of us, through overuse, have trained ourselves to fly off the handle, worry ourselves, sick, feel insecure, abuse, alcohol. What positive reflexes can you strengthen through repetition. So it could actually work on the contrary. Like you may have certain things that you repeat that are, let's just say bad habits, but you could also work it out in your favor for really positive things, whether that's going to the gym or maybe you stack certain behaviors that are very beneficial. For example whenever I go to work out I work out in my local community and. It is super beneficial for me to just go on a walk right before my workout and it's linked to that actual behavior. There are times where you can stack really good habits on top of each other, right? So for example, if you do journal entries, let's just say you do journal entries right before you go to bed, journal entries can be very therapeutic. They can help you just unwind. Calm yourself down, and that's a really good habit to stack. Or maybe it's gratitude right before a meal. So it is important to have that understanding that, yeah, there are patterns that lead to self-sabotage, patterns that lead to negative behavior or negative thinking, but there are also patterns that lead to really good habits, really good behavior really good. Just lifestyle choices that, that are overall beneficial to you. Okay, so it's think about like moments where you probably went down the biggest self-sabotage. Oftentimes it's maybe drinking or maybe you're around a certain maybe it's cer certain friends that you hang out with. And the, these are things that ultimately lead like a domino effect to things that aren't necessarily conducive to your overall wellbeing. Okay, so the next share is from Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, and that is take down barriers. So think about a goal that you are currently working on, no matter what it is. Now, for some of you, it may be exercising. For some of you, it may be a financial goal, it may be a relational goal, but think about that for a second. Then next is identify the obstacles that you are currently facing. So with that goal, let's say you're working on getting to the next level with your business, what are some obstacles that get in the way? I know for me, oftentimes the biggest obstacle is really distractions or not scheduling it in. Typically if I don't schedule something in the likelihood of me actually executing on that very thing, especially if it's things that aren't lifestyle choices. So me going to the gym is already embedded in my way of life. So it's not something that I have to necessarily schedule. But let's just say content creation, for example. If I really want to ensure that I follow through with my content creation, I have to schedule it in. So that could very well be an obstacle. Maybe the obstacle is you, maybe it can be financial, it can be just certain things that you're going through with your family, but identify what those obstacles are. Next is find someone to help you brainstorm ways to overcome those obstacles. I remember a mentor of mine would always say, you have to surround yourself with the thinking that outthinks you. It is super beneficial to talk with people who also have had to navigate through very similar obstacles. Maybe you've got a bunch of kids and you feel like it is just so difficult to operate your business or so difficult to just pursue your dreams and perhaps talking to someone who has done it with kids or who has done it married can be the something that can help you on that journey. Ask yourself what obstacle currently seems insurmountable. If I face it alone, when you approach a problem with a willingness to synergize, you can come up with new ways to overcome challenges. And I know time and time again, like whenever I find myself going through different challenges whether it's business, whether it's just family stuff, it always helps to get different perspectives because sometimes we have blind spots. We, we have certain things, maybe we have a cognitive bias on something, or there's blind spots that we have that other people can recognize that we just simply can't. So it is very beneficial to have people in your corner that there's a saying, you don't want a yes man, you want a corner man, right? A yes man is gonna just tell you like yeah, you're amazing, this, that, and the third. Tell you what you want to hear, not what you need to hear. That's the difference between a yes man and a corner man. A corner man is gonna tell you like, Hey, you gotta get your shit together like this ain't it. This is not in alignment. This is not what you should be doing. And it is so beneficial to have people in your corner like that. But you gotta also know the difference between someone who's just flat out judgmental or hating right on you, versus someone who genuinely cares about you and has your best interest at heart. They have, their underlying intention is your overall wellbeing, and it is very beneficial to have people in your life like that Now there's a really great quote here by Stephen Covey, and that is when you introduce synergy. If you unfreeze restraining forces, loosen them up and create new insights and. It is definitely true. 100% synergy is everything. Your vibe attracts your tribe and make sure that you are out there getting around really solid people that can offer you counsel and be very mindful that who you take advice from. I always say you shouldn't take advice from someone you wouldn't be willing to trade places with in that specific area. Why in the world are you gonna take fitness advice from someone who doesn't have it together with their fitness or with their relationships, or with their business or finances, things like that. So seek advice from people you would actually trade places with, or people you wouldn't mind trading places with if it came down to it. All right, let's keep this show going. Now, today we're gonna be talking about your story is your superpower, and a little bit about. How you can, let's say, leverage your story, monetize your story, how you can use whatever you've gone through and extract, like I said, extract that treasure from that trash, or whatever you may have perceived of as something that was detrimental to your success or detrimental to where you wanna be in. And it's all about reframing, right? In the world of coaching. And for those of you who don't know if maybe you're new to the Breakfast Club I am a holistic life coach. I speak on many different platforms, on different topics around things like this. And reframing tends to pop up a lot. And really what reframing is changing the way you look at something. So you may look at, for example, life is happening to you, but you could also reframe it and look at life as happening for you. That's a reframe. Maybe you look at what you've gone through in your childhood as something that is holding you back. Or maybe you could look back at your childhood and say, that's the reason why I am who I am. That's the reason why I am so strong. I am so wise. I am so resilient because of what I've gone through, and I know a thing or two about this because. For many years I grew up in the hood, in East New York, Brooklyn, at the height of the murder epidemic. The crime epidemic in late eighties, early nineties. It was definitely one of the worst places you could have possibly lived in. But the thing about it is initially it was like, yeah, there were a lot of obstacles along the way, but I'm so grateful that I got to experience that. I'm so grateful of. Just where you know and proud of where I come from because I do feel like it ultimately led to who I am as a man. I remember going off to college, I was the first person in my family to go off and do the college thing, and for me, I had a chip on my shoulder because. I didn't really have the silver spoon. I didn't have the parents driving me to the dorm to help me unpack and set up my dorm room and all of that. That wasn't the reality for me. The realities for me, I had to survive. I had to hustle. I had to work like three different jobs, put myself through college, and I was barbering in my dorm room and doing whatever it was that I could do to ensure that I survived. And the thing about that is that I noticed a significant difference in terms of how much I valued my education versus my peers. For me, it wasn't a game. Like I had to always make sure I was on top of my my, my schoolwork because there was no turning back for me. I had no safety net to go to. It was sink or swim, and that is essentially what laid the foundation for even my journey through entrepreneurship, the resilience and all of that came from. My story. It, and not only that, as I started to progress through my career, a lot of people resonated with my story. A lot of people connected with that. Sometimes when people are too perfect. People don't really connect with that. And it's hard for other people to resonate with you. When everything is perfect. If you got the perfect marriage, perfect help, perfect family upbringing, and you come from wealth and all of that stuff, you're not really that relatable because that's just not the reality for so many people. And there've been a lot of people that, for example, jump on the breakfast club every single week because. They feel that there's that relatability in a sense, right? I can speak from the lens of being a parent. I can speak from the lens of being someone who's married and someone who's gone through different business challenges and it is a beautiful thing no matter what you've gone through. And you may look at it as the worst thing in the world, but what would that look like for you if you actually reframed it? Said, you know what? I went through what I went through, but what if I can be a blessing to so many people? Think about this. How much how much more valuable are you in the marketplace because of what you've gone through? Some of you want to write books. Some of you want to start podcasts, some of you want to become public speakers. Some of you may want to start a business and think about it. How much more valuable are you because of what you've gone through? Super important to understand that. Okay, think about this. Have you ever had a point in your life, have you ever been in at a point where you felt like your past disqualified you? Like some people genuinely feel that, right? And the thing about it is your past can actually be your greatest asset. If you reframe it, I know I went to a men's mental health panel discussion a couple days ago and it was super valuable because a lot of the guys who were speaking on the panel were guys who served time in prison, some of them over 10 years. And it was just so powerful to hear how they transcended that. Some of them went on to become motivational speakers. All of them were sp speaking on mental health. They were a blessing to so many people. And the crazy thing about it, one of the gentlemen that I was listening to, he actually said that going to prison was the best thing that could have ever happened to him. I heard another brother say that going to prison, and this is not to justify going to prison, of course, but he said like with every the way he was living, he finally had a sense of calm. Just wash over his life because of how he was living. And things were just so chaotic. And for the first time he could just, okay, I'm here. I'm gonna serve my time, learn my lesson, and I'm gonna move on with my life. And think about that reframe, right? And the fact that these guys didn't just sit there and say, oh, because of my prison record, that I have to go the rest of my life being a victim, or go the rest of my life. Just not being able to work or anything. And that is the reality for a lot of people. What's also the reality is like you can go and become an author and write about your story. You can become an activist, you can become a podcaster, you can become a motivational speaker, you can start that business and there are a lot of people that genuinely will support you because of your past. So always remember that. Super important. Okay. So for me, for example, like. Again when I first started in entrepreneurship I noticed a significant difference when I started being vulnerable with just my story because I had built myself up while I was in college and I I left the hood and I was really doing my best to just be a better person. But I started to lose myself in the process. I started to. Wear this persona and just do my best to be like super polished and professional and all this stuff. And I realized that when I was Brooklyn version of Josh and and I just kicked it with people at that level. A lot of the people that I led just started to get closer to me in a sense. Like they, they started to open up about their lives. They started to connect in on a deeper level. And it was the best thing that I ever did. I remember when I was speaking at Toastmasters International which is a speaking organization. Really great speaking organization for those of you who wanna get into public speaking. But I remember the first time I shared like my story for the first time, and I was just so nervous because I was afraid of being judged, honestly. I was afraid of what people would think, like if they heard, okay, this is where this brother comes from. And the truth is, after that talk I remember shaking I was just I can't believe I just said all this stuff that I've done in the past or things that I've lived through and I remember like just shaking in my seat. But then I a feeling of. Just wow, I got it out. This is who I am. And because I've gone through that doesn't really determine who I am. Like people still, of course, they value your character. So if you have a past, it's like a lot of people are just gonna judge you based off of who you are now. And you are who you say you are until you prove otherwise. As my mentor would always say. So it's about the here and now, right? If you have a past, if anything, it's like beautiful for people to see your growth. They're like, wow, you came from that. That's how you used to be. Look at you now. Look at, look how far you've come. And over time it was like I, I was winning a lot of awards in Toastmasters, and it was because a lot of people just connected with the struggle. For whatever reason, they preferred that version of Josh. They preferred the version that was open and authentic and transparent and just human in a sense. And that's a beautiful thing. Embrace your story no matter how much you may feel like you've messed up your life. Maybe you've had to go through several divorces. Maybe you've gone bankrupt, maybe you've lost it all and had to bounce back or whatever. Or you've been through things as a child. There are so many people out there that will connect with your story because they've you'd be amazed at how many people have gone through what you've gone through, and they need someone to connect with. Remember, your story is your superpower, and from a business standpoint, it builds trust faster than any marketing tactic out there. Honestly, there are a lot of people that support small businesses because of the business owner. Sometimes it ain't even the business, it's just they are captivated by that business owner. Have had to go through, and that's why they wanna support that business. Okay, so why your story matters. Remember, people don't connect to products. They connect to people. People don't necessarily connect to products. They're connecting to people. So sometimes the people. That created the products are really what enhanced the perception of the product, right? It is like when you buy an Apple device, a lot of people resonate or support a apple or just love Apple. Many people love the story of Steve Jobs. They absolutely loved the story of Steve Jobs and Steve Jobs, for those of you who don't know, apparently he was adopted, if I'm not mistaken, and he had to go through a lot of adversity, but his creative process and how he went about getting apple off the ground, a lot of people resonate with that. Okay? So remember, people don't necessarily connect to products. They connect to people. In the early days of me just selling travel, for example, a lot of people. They heard the value of the travel. But I remember learning years ago that facts tell, stories sell. Some people will say facts, tell, stories, compel. And it's true. You can share all the facts and figures and all the details about a specific product, but when it's all said and done, nothing will sell that product more than you just sharing your story. And I remember even from a business standpoint, when I had people joining me in business in the early days, I would share the fact that, hey, I was working this job and this job required me to be away all the time. I would miss the birthday celebrations, I would miss the anniversaries, I would miss the baby showers, and I was just over it. And I really wanted time freedom. That's what led to me going all in with entrepreneurship. And not only did I want time freedom, but I also wanted significance. I wanted to be great and I shared that part of my journey and a lot of people, they connected with that story as well. They're like, man, I also want time freedom. I also want to be able to travel around the world and live this life and start a family and all of that. People connect with that, or some people, again, they just want the significance. They want to feel great, they wanna feel special, they wanna feel like they're doing something impactful, and that's what it's all about. Okay? Remember this stories also trigger emotions and memory, which is how humans make decisions. Stories trigger emotions. People connect with stories. We've been telling stories throughout our entire ancestry, our entire lineage throughout humanity. Stories have always transcended throughout generations, and they're super important to us as human beings, like we love a good story. Now, another thing is your story builds the know and trust factor. Clients and audiences need. So I remember learning this years ago in entrepreneurship that people buy from people that they know and trust. And if people don't trust you, chances are they're probably not gonna buy from you, right? A lot of the times people will support someone also because they're like, man, I like something about this person. I see something in this person that I also see in myself. Think about how many times you've bought. From people maybe you met a salesperson, and you just really connected with that salesperson right away, and then hundreds of dollars later or thousands of dollars later, you're like, man, they got me. Because they was such a great person and they connected and you just wanted to support them, right? Sometimes it's like that. So again, people buy from people they know and trust. Now remember, there are brands that tell stories. Brands that don't. So you think of the big names, whether it's Nike, whether it's Apple, or some big names like Oprah, right? People know those stories. People have heard the stories of a Michael Jordan, they've heard the stories of these people who've had these great setbacks. Or maybe the story of the specific brand like Phil Knight there's a movie on Nike, and if I'm not mistaken, it might be Shoe Dog. Or that might be the book, but there's an entire, there's movies, there's books on it, and a lot of people connect to brands because of the story. So next is how to find your story. Okay. How to find your specific story or even how to tell your story. Okay? The first thing, and these are there, there are four S's that we're gonna go over when it comes to just. Crafting your overall story. So the first s is the struggle. What challenge has shaped you in your life? Was it poverty? Was it failure? Was it doubt? Was it rejection? But what was the struggle? What was it that actually shaped you as a person? And I know for me there, there's been a lot of business challenges that I've gone through over the years that have cultivated my character. That, that's part of my story today, right? Me growing up in the hood and going off to college and making something of myself or not growing up with my biological father. And now the role that I play as a father and feeling as if I have a moral obligation to be a great father. That's also part of my story. So what is your struggle? What have you gone through? Okay. Number two is the second S is the shift. What moment? Or decision turned things around. So in the case of me growing up in East New York, Brooklyn, what turned things around, I got recruited to play football and had my shot to go off to college. And that was the major shift. And I went to a military college and I got disciplined. I got disciplined. Like I didn't go to a traditional college, like my college was wearing uniform, having to shave every single day, having to have pretty much close to bald haircut every single day, having to be in just going through inspections and all that. Having to clean my room and square my my, my bed and all this stuff. There was so much that went into my specific college journey saluting a flag every day and all of that. I had to, my, my freshman year, we were called mugs and mugs. The mugs was an acronym for mid shipment on the guidance. And the journey literally was like squaring corners e everywhere around campus you went, you had to run to every single classroom. So the mugs in their first year, in our first year, you had to run to every single classroom all around campus. You couldn't walk, you had to run. And not only did you have to run, you had to square your corners and run around the perimeter of the campus. You had to take the long route. That was my journey. It wasn't like the turn up fraternity. Like I wish it could have been that. Lemme not say I wish because that, all of that kinda led to who I am today, but. That shift right from turning chaos into structure, into discipline. And I knew that I needed that. And again, all of that has led to like, when people, it's funny, I had one of my, one of my best friends mentioned the other day is like, man you are really consistent. It is just like you've been doing this for a long time. It is like, where did that consistency come from? Where did that discipline come from? It came from that journey, right? A lot of it came from that. So the shift is a big part of your specific story. When did it shift for you, whether it was the divorce or the breakup or a toxic tendencies or the healing process or whatever. It's the third thing is the success. So whatever that looks like for you, maybe you went through struggle. Then you shifted out of that struggle and then finally found some success or maybe a breakthrough or maybe things just turned around for you and what was it that changed as a result of whatever it is that you went through? What changed? Was it that relationship? Was it the health? Was it you just getting the right mentor? Maybe you went through coaching, whatever it is, but it's about the struggle, the shift. The success. And lastly, it's about the lesson. The lesson. Okay, so what wisdom do you want others to take away? That's the biggest thing. So it's interesting because I name my podcast the Journey podcast, for those of you who know, and the reason why I named it The Journey is because I wanted it to. Not only, of course be a twist on the whole world traveler thing, but also the journey through, through life and life's journey and what comes with it. I wanted people to share their story and how they overcame whatever it is that they went through, and a lot of the life lessons that came along the way. So that's really the lesson. What and what wisdom. Do you really want to teach or to have people walk away with? Okay, so remember your struggle could be you, let's just say growing up where you grew up. Or maybe it could have been that divorce that you went through. Then the shift could have literally been, maybe you had the courage to end that relationship, or you said, you know what, enough is enough. I'm gonna get my financial household in order. And then the success could have. Literally been in, in my case, it was going off to college and then finishing college and landing a six figure career, and that was the breakthrough. But then it's crazy because life has a cyclical nature, and it's like you're constantly going through this hero, hero's journey, because then I found myself in a space where, all right, I made it right. I had this shift. I went through the struggle, had this shift, then had the success, went to school, got what I wanted out of it. Then I find myself in a space where, man, this is not really it. This is not what I wanna do for the rest of my life. And now I was in a struggle where, how do I go into full-time entrepreneurship? I was spending about 70% of my life working on the water, and I had to embark on this entrepreneurial journey and figure it out as I went. So that was the struggle. And I remember when I took that great leap of faith and retired from the workforce. And yeah, in the early days it was like you're going off of faith, like faith and hustle. That was that. That was what it looked like. But you go through the struggle and then eventually what ended up happening is there was that shift. There was that breakthrough and there was that success. But then again, you go back through the hero's journey and it's this ongoing cycle. Like they say, for every level there's a new devil, there's always some obstacle along the way that you're going to have to face. And the higher you go, the bigger the obstacles. So I remember the company that I was partnered with, I built a multimillion dollar line of business. I had thousands of sales reps in my organization. I helped that company scale to a billion dollars a year. To then see it all come crashing down during the pandemic. And then now it's like I'm back on this hero's journey. However, the difference is I'm stronger, I'm wiser, I'm more resilient. I have more patience. And that's what it looks like throughout your life. As I always mention the cliche analogy of in life, you're always gonna be in one of three phases. You're either in a storm. Or you're, you just came out of a storm or you're getting ready to go into a storm, and that's the reality. So for me, it's yeah, the pandemic rolled around and then there was a whole new wave of obstacles, right? And there was a whole new shift. There were new lessons to to learn. And you go and it's a continuous journey. It's like you reach the mountain peak. To then encounter that there's another peak and you never quite get there. It's like my mentor would always share the metaphor of success is like sailing off into a horizon, and then you get to that horizon to then discover there's another horizon. And you it's never really a destination. It is about the journey when it's all said and done, because 99% of your journey is going to be the journey, not the destination. The destination, the success. It only accounts for less than a percent of the overall experience. Okay? So how do you continue on and how do you take all that you've learned and anything that you've gone through and transcend it and reframe it so that it's a value to you for the next part of your chapter? The next journey along the way. Okay. Now remember. The lesson is possibly, maybe your lesson is your past doesn't define you, it prepares you. Maybe the lesson is on patience. Maybe the lesson is on compassion. Maybe the lesson is just learning how to let go of what no longer serves you. Take away the lesson, find a gift in whatever it is that you're going through. So write down these s's, right? You got the struggle, you got the shift, you got the success lesson starts with an L, but it's got two S's in it. So you could rock out with the lesson at the end. Now turning your story into a brand, which is super powerful and transformative in so many ways. A big part of my brand, like if you, for example, go on my speaker reel. My speaker reel is a compilation of a lot of different. Aspects of my journey, my speaking and all that stuff. And you'll find my personal story embedded in that speaker reel, right? And the speaker reel is short video that kind of shows you it's like a marketing asset that you have for speaking gigs as a public speaker. So that, that struggle, all of those struggles were a big part of my overall brand. You understand? And that's the thing is. Is it possible for you to be able to take your story and even utilize it as a brand that can serve you? All right, so the first thing is you wanna have clarity, so be specific about who your story is for. And in the world of coaching, we refer to this as your avatar. Your avatar is your ideal client. Your avatar is your audience, right? Who's your audience? And. I know for me it was like my audience initially were people that grew up the way that I grew up, right? And today it's a little bit, it's a little bit different today, like I'm speaking to the father, I'm speaking to the husband, I'm speaking to the entrepreneurs, people that, that can connect with my specific story. The next is consistency. So you have to share your story over and over. Get good at telling your story. Because that's also a big part of the process, and that was one of the things that Toastmasters International had done for me is by me going to Toastmasters and refining my public speaking skills, it also helped me refine my story and it taught me how to tell my story. And I, I probably have shared my testimonial, I'd say. Over 10,000 times in my lifetime. Just little 30 seconds to a minute every time I meet people, things like that. Okay. Now, if it's all doom and gloom, of course you don't wanna just always mention that, that part of it. But in my line of work, our stories are just a big part of our brands. Our stories are a big part of how we go about business and connect with people. Okay? And that's the third C, which is connection. So it's clarity, consistency, and connection. So the connection is focus on how your audience sees themselves in your story. That's how you connect with people. How do people see themselves in your specific story? I remember with one of my businesses, I went through a major getting ostracized and not to call any names or anything, but I went through a lot of really challenging stuff. In terms of like rejection or being ostracized and humiliated at one point in time. And I remember when I shared my story of that aspect of my journey, there were a lot of people, I was in an arena when I first shared that part of my journey for the very first time and I had so many people walk up to me after wow, like I can't believe you went through that. Like I went through a similar situation and thank you for sharing that part of your story. It's a beautiful thing to be able to connect with people and empathize with people in a sense, because of your story and what you've gone through. And the last C is call to action. So tie your story to what you offer, whether it's a specific product or service, maybe it's coaching or speaking or whatever, right? But tie your story to whatever it is that you offer. Maybe you share. Maybe you sell vacuum cleaners and you share your story of how you got into selling vacuum cleaners. There are a lot of people, again, that will support you because they're like, man, like I really admire that. You're really going after it and this allows you to provide for your family and all of that. Okay. And it's not like a manipulation tactic, it's just being very honest and sharing aspects of not only the product but yourself. Okay, so on social media there, there's different ways to go about obviously sharing your story. So on social media, for example, you can create different posts, whether it's a reel, whether it's going live. In my case, I do a lot of long form content. So I'll come on here, I'll speak for an hour to two hours and just share different aspects of my journey, and that's how I've gone about it via social media. Sometimes it's on stage. So I've shared my story in front of as big as 22,000 people at Dallas Cowboys Stadium, sharing my specific story, and sometimes it's on stage, sometimes it's. And small little miniature or not miniature, but like small gatherings. I was at this men's mental health panel discussion, and honestly it was just a room of about 25 to 30 brothers all talking about different aspects of their journey and what they're going through. Sometimes I'm at my men's business leaders group at my church, and I'm talking with a group of four or five guys. We're just sharing different aspects of what it is that we're going through. So there's many different platforms, many different opportunities to share your story and talk about your story. And it's so therapeutic to be able to talk to other people who can relate to what you've gone through. So another thing is in business, so during sales calls, for example, sharing your why. I remember in the early days my why was I just wanted to be free. I was tired of working all the time. I wanted to be able to have a family, wanted to be able to travel around the world, and that was a big part of my why. And you guys hear me mention this all the time. Why can be an acronym for what hurts you? Why are you doing what you're doing in business? Why did you embark on entrepreneurship? Why are you writing that book? Why are you launching that podcast? Maybe you're launching the podcast because you feel like there are a lot of women who can benefit from your wisdom or benefit from your knowledge. Maybe you're writing that book because there's a problem you can solve in business, right? Maybe you feel like you have a story to tell, and that's the reason why you're doing it. But share that. Why? Be open, be vulnerable, and you'd be amazed at how many people will genuinely connect with you. But also want to support you. Okay. By the way on the topic of podcasting, coaching, all that stuff. I typically offer one-on-one complimentary coaching sessions to our community, and there are a few slots that I get throughout the course of the year to work with people intimately, specifically, like on podcasting, speaking, coaching people who want to learn how to make some part-time income to full-time income. And if you are someone who genuinely just. Maybe you love what you do. Maybe you don't plan on leaving what it is that you do. You wanna stay with your job, but you just wanna make an extra$2,000 a month from coaching on the side or speaking on the side. If that is the case for you. I have a few slots left for the rest of this year. We're just now starting September. There's literally only a couple of months left for the rest of the year. So I always love to open up a few slots to close out the year strong. And if that's the case for you, I'm gonna be taking a handful of people from our community and personally mentoring them to help them earn at least$2,000 extra a month from coaching, consulting, speaking if that. Interest you at all or maybe you just want information on it. Maybe you're not ready right now, but maybe sometime next year you may wanna embark on something like this. Hit me up. Just DM me the word coach. I'd be more than happy to give you more information on that. Okay, so back to our content now. How to tell your story without over sharing. How to tell your story without oversharing. So remember, not every detail is for everyone. There's so many aspects of my journey that I could share, but sometimes it's not always appropriate to share every single detail for every single crowd. So you have to know how to customize your story as well and be able to tailor it to the specific environment that you're in. Remember, share the scars, not the open wounds. It's not about just venting, about just everything that you're currently going through. People wanna hear about the full circle, right? Not the half circle, where you're still in it. They wanna hear the full circle. Remember people they wanna buy from people that aren't necessarily desperate, right? You never wanna give off a des desperate vibe. I always say always hungry, never thirsty. So go about your business, like you wanna be hungry for success, you wanna be hungry for results and all of that, but never thirsty in the sense where you're building from a place of, or building your business or growing your business from a place of desperation as opposed to inspiration. Okay? So that's why it is important to. Share the scars, not the open wounds, the moments of your life where things came full circle. Okay? You want the shift, you want the lesson learned or all of that stuff. Okay? Now keep your story audience focused. What is in it for them? People could give a damn about what's in it for you. They wanna know what's in it for them. So for those of you who are entrepreneurs, for those of you who want to launch podcasts, speak to audiences. Always remember it's about the audience, it's about the listener, it's about the person that you are speaking to. Okay, or speaking with. Now, real quick, call to action. I want you guys to take 15 minutes this week. Write out your four S's, and remember the L is quote unquote s right? I shared that with you guys earlier. Different aspects of your journey. The struggle the shift, right? The lesson learned, all of that stuff, the success and the lesson learned. So what is your, or what are your four S's? Okay. Which is a big part of the process now. That's a big one, and you can in terms of your story, just start sharing it, whether it's through social media. Sometimes I'll just do a post, it may be a past photo, and I'll share aspects of my journey. I remember posting up years ago, me cutting hair in my dorm room, and that was a part of my journey, like those were the early days of my entrepreneurial. Journey was me cutting hair like kids on campus coming and me providing for myself. And I did a post, like a little blog post, talking about that aspect of my journey. And again, people connect. That's how you build a brand. That's how you build a community when people connect with you and on on that note. So next, just to wrap up here, remember this, your story doesn't just belong to you. It's the gift that could unlock someone else's breakthrough. Your story is everybody else's story. That's what it's about. Don't just keep it to yourself. Don't deprive the world of your story. Don't deprive the world of your struggle. I always say, never let a good suffering go to waste. Get something out of the suffering. Okay, so remember, your story is your bridge to build trust. You also have the four S's, which is the framework for cultivating your story, struggle, shift success, and then the lesson you have consistency, turned your story into a brand. So you constantly have to get it out there, whether it's on stages, whether it's on social media, whether it's in small groups or big stages, whatever, it's, and your story is the magnet that attracts the right people to your life. So I hope that today was valuable for you all. I just wanted to share how you can take your story and get something out of it. And I hope that today was a blessing for you and breakfast is officially served. God bless. Every last one of you have a wonderful rest of your week, and remember to DM me the word coach. We have a lot of exciting things going on within our community as well. We have our Creators Conference happening in the fall, so if you want information on our Creators conference, go to d creators conference.com. You can get more info on our creatives conference, which is happening the weekend of, it's like right before my birthday, so it is happening, if I'm not mistaken, October 11th, that weekend, the 10th, 11th, 12th. It's gonna be a phenomenal weekend in Tampa, Florida. So make sure you join us at the Creatives Conference and I'll be seeing you guys soon. Take care. God bless, and I'll be seeing you all next week.