Growing Patience: Tools, Stories, and the Calm in the Waiting

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today's episode is titled Growing Patience. Tools, stories, and the calm in the waiting tool stories and the calm in the waiting. So I can tell you right now, patience is definitely one of the aspects of my life that I've been working on for a very, very long time. And I did some, uh, extensive research for you all. Uh, and I'm, I'm excited to kind of share some of the stuff that I came up with. And I know that a lot of you are going to get a lot of takeaways from today's segment. So let's get ready to jump into it if you're new. Typically, the first couple of minutes we're sharing different life hack, fun facts, different personal development shares. Uh, today's share. This morning we're gonna be covering a share from the Daily Stoic, and this is. On protecting our inner fortress from fear. So, uh, this book is by Ryan Holiday, by the way. It's all on stoic philosophy. One of my favorite reads and every single day is a different share on stoic philosophy. So, uh, here we go. Protecting our inner fortress from fear. No, it is events that give rise to fear. Um, no. It is events that give rise to fear When another has power over them or can prevent them, that person becomes able to inspire fear. How is the fortress destroyed? Not by iron or fire, but by judgments. Here is where we must begin, and it is from this front that we must seize the fortress and throw out the tyrants Epictetus from his discourses. So the stoics give us a marvelous concept, the inner citadel. Is this fortress. They believe that protects our soul. Though we might be physically vulnerable, though we might be at the mercy of fate. In many ways our inner domain is impenetrable, as Marcus Aurelius put it repeatedly. In fact, stuff cannot touch the soul. But history teaches us that impenetrable forces, uh, fortresses can still be breached if betrayed from the inside, the citizens inside the walls, if they fall prey to fear or greed or avarice can open the gates and let the enemy in. This is what many of us do when we lose our nerve and give into fear. You've been granted a strong fortress. Don't betray it. So really good share. And in short, it's basically telling us to, to make sure that we manage our fear. I remember hearing John F. Kennedy say that the only thing that we should fear is fear itself. And why is that? Because when you have fear, when you think about it, typically you're operating from a place of survival. You're operating from a place of desperation instead of inspiration. And I know I most certainly have been there, where when emotion is high, logic is low and it's very difficult to make really great decisions when you're in that state of survival. When your sympathetic nervous system is kicking in and that that fight, flight, or freeze state is activated, it is essential to get yourself back on an even keel, get yourself back emotionally stable so that you can make critical decisions. So remember, as the African proverb states that there is no enemy within the enemy outside can do us no harm. So really, really great share. And uh, just a heads up. So we have some exciting things always happening within our community and I know that, uh, we're actually putting together some group trips for 2026, so we'll be keeping you guys in the loop with that. Also, I've been mentioning to you all that, um, I have a, um, actual masterclass coming up this Saturday. So this Saturday at 12:00 PM Eastern, I'm going to be doing a free masterclass for our community. We're getting ready to go into the last quarter of 2025, and it's crazy to think that so much time has gone by. I feel like we were just starting the year and here we are approaching the very last quarter of 2025. So I've been getting a lot of people asking me about. Coaching, consulting, speaking, podcasting, this, you know, um, this, this whole world. And, um, I felt like it was really, really timely to release some type of a podcast on how people can monetize their mission. So, uh, basically, uh, for those who are still like working on reaching their financial goals, a lot of people can use like an extra. You know,$2,000 a month, for example. Uh, if you're working your full-time job and it just ain't cutting it, chances are you need some additional source of income. So, um, what I did was I put together a program and offered a bunch of scholarships to our Breakfast Club community. And basically with this program, we're going to be showing you guys and teaching you, uh, it's going to be three months long, uh, for the entire quarter, last quarter of 2025. And we're going to be teaching you guys how to monetize your mission, how to be able to get paid for what, you know, and we all specialize in something. We all have experience in something or knowledge in something, and it is super valuable to be able to know how you can package that knowledge and be able to bring in revenue for yourself. So, uh, this week I'm really excited on Saturday, make sure that. You guys are tuning in. It's gonna be a free masterclass for everyone. Lot of great information shared on here and just DM me the word masterclass and I can always send you the registration link and we can take it from there. And also, we have our creator's conference happening, uh, October 11th in St. Pete, Florida. So this is for people who are looking to scale and build their brands and businesses online. And if that's you, if you wanna learn from our creators, we have, uh, an entire panel and lineup of amazing creators. And business owners, entrepreneurs, coaches, all that good stuff, who are gonna be coming to the, the James Museum in St. Pete, Pete, Florida. So it's our second annual one. Super excited about that. Um, if you would like info on how you can get registered for that, hit me up, um, as soon as possible because tickets will sell out. So with that being said, let's keep this show going on today's segment, which is Growing Patience Tools, stories, and the Calm in the waiting. So these's a really cool intro. Now we all live in a culture of speed, instant access. Think about it to information fast food next day, delivery, rapid replies. We all got some kind of Amazon Prime set up where everything is fast and we're so accustomed to this microwave. Mentality or just this, we, we've adopted a microwave mentality in this generation, and it is important to acknowledge that because along with that, speed comes frustration when life doesn't move as fast as we want. I'm not sure how many of you can relate to it, but I'm most certainly can. A lot of things throughout the course of my life. Um, I I can honestly say that it rarely happens at the time that I want it to happen. So, uh, today's episode we're gonna be diving deep into, uh, something many of us overlook, and that is patience. What it really means, why it can feel so hard to be patient, and more importantly, practical tools and mindset shifts for cultivating more patients in your life. So again, make sure that you're taking some notes and I know whether you've, uh, fallen short with loved ones or maybe you're, uh, simply anxious while waiting or frustrated by delays with setbacks. This definitely, uh, this episode is going to be for you. So let's slow down today and process everything that we're gonna be sharing with you. Uh, you'll hear some really, really great concepts, and I'm excited for you guys. So let's get ready to jump right into it and cover what is patience and why it matters. What is patience like? When you think about patience, what do you think about? If you had to explain or describe what it means to have patience, what would you say? I know the first thing that comes to mind for me, at least when I think of patience, I think of just being. Being calm, right when things are, are taking a lot longer than you would like, not reacting so easily. And I know throughout the course of my life, especially in my early years, I was super, super impatient. Like everything had to happen very, very fast. I'm one of those people when I want something, I want it. I don't wanna wait, I want, I want that thing asap. So, um, it, it can be very, very frustrating, uh, when you, you're, you're wanting something so bad and it's taking a lot longer. And sometimes it's like borderline discouraging, right? Because it's just taking so long. And I know many, many times throughout the course of my entrepreneurial journey, for example, a lot of my goals, they rarely happened on the date that I set them to happen. Typically, it took a lot longer and you're gonna have to create this internal compass for navigating through. The the seasons where you have to wait, where you have no option but to wait, because not everything is always going to be within your control. Sometimes the, the things that you want the most are dependent on outside factors. So how do you kind of orient yourself so that you can properly navigate in those waiting seasons? And that's what we're gonna be covering. So in psychological terms, waiting calmly in the face of frustration, adversity or delay tolerating discomfort without reacting impulsively. That's what it basically means from a psychological standpoint. So remember, there are different types of patients as well, so I'll cover some of those. For example, number one, uh, daily hassles. So think of all the small inconveniences that you face throughout. That could be traffic, that could be lines slow internet. I actually came across a study years ago. I don't know how true it is, but I'm sure there, it's, it's pretty close to accurate. And the article said that we will spend up to a quarter of our lives just waiting, waiting in traffic, waiting in lines, waiting for something about a quarter of our lives. Think about that. So for those of you who drive through traffic every morning, I mean, some people I know drive through over two hours worth of traffic. And then there's just certain things that you're just waiting on throughout the course of the day. So, uh, this is something that, uh, you, you're gonna have to get a grip on because it's like, okay, well if you know that you're going to spend a significant amount, even if it's not a quarter of your life, even if it was just 10 or 15% of your life waiting, what do you do during those moments of waiting? Like, what exactly do you have going on? I know a prime example would be just certain financial goals that I have. I may have not always reached those financial goals, but what I would do in the process is just continue to develop my skills, continue to grow myself, build my brand, things like that, and, and read the books, go to the seminars, listen to the audios, and, and that's what I would do in those waiting seasons because all of those things essentially stack in value. So it is good to always, uh, just ensure that you're not staying there just waiting like, like a, like a helpless victim, right. You, you're, you're being proactive and you're also telling your brain that better days are ahead. You're, you're anticipating better days ahead because you're actively putting things in place so that when the time does come, remember you're prepared. So they say luck is when preparation meets opportunity. And the harder you work, the luckier you get that, that's just the way it's worked out for me as well. So in that waiting season, what are you doing for the meantime? To continue to develop yourself, to continue to prepare yourself for when opportunity does present itself. The second type of patience is interpersonal patience. And this is specifically with people. This is probably my, my number one flaw, uh, when it comes to patience especially, is interpersonal patience. I know with my wife, for example, like there's so, there's just so many times patience has been, I would say the number one issue in marriage for me personally has been patience. And, um, I know sometimes not, not all women, but many women like to take their time just getting ready, fixing their hair up, getting all dolled up and everything like that. And of course as men we love it, but. There are times where you have to get things done or you have to catch a reservation or maybe there's an excursion happening on your vacation and it can be super frustrating. So this has been a lifelong journey for me personally, but interpersonal patients, uh, definitely something that I've worked on a lot over the years. And I'm curious for you guys, like which form of patience do you struggle with? Okay. The third is long-term or hardship, patience. So waiting out bigger life challenges. And this is a big one because life really does be life lifeing for a lot of us. And um, for most people that's the human experience, right? And it can be super frustrating when you've been working on something for so long and you just do not see the breakthrough. And one of the things that I found encouraging over the years has been just looking up the. The stories of very influential and successful people, and oftentimes you'll find a lot of commonalities, you'll find a lot of similarities with the journey like Fort Fortifying themselves with, with just resilience. Think about it. A lot of people who've accomplished some significant things, it took a long time to finally get there and reading their their stories or reading about their stories. It's always reassuring because for me, I always have to remind myself like, Josh, what makes you think you're so special that you're gonna be exempt from all of those struggles that the greatest people had to endure? So this is just a big part of the process, and learning about those who came before you really, really does help. So why it matters? Okay. There's tons of mental health benefits when it comes to just dealing with when patients, because. Again, when you are just waiting and waiting and waiting, sometimes you can find yourself getting very discouraged. You could find yourself just getting down and out, or sometimes you just lose your will to continue fighting because it's just taking so long. I see this happen all the time. You'll see people pursuing their dream. Let's say they wanted to be an, an entertainer, maybe an actor, a singer, or something like that, and they're, they're just riding the struggle bus for so many years, living that start artist's life. And sometimes you can grow resentment with the very thing that you once love so dearly. So it is important to make sure that you, again, properly orient yourself so you have the right perspective throughout your journey. So there's tons of mental health benefits, like, um, reduce negative emotion, more satisfaction, less stress. There's actually an article on the calm publication or the calm app, and it's on, uh, patient. Patience notes, um, that it improves self-control, self-compassion, and helps with long-term goals and wellbeing. So really, really a great article for those of you who have the CALM app. And when it comes to relationships, patience also improves empathy. It reduces misunderstanding, and you have less reactivity. And this is actually from the skill of patient's article. And, uh, I, I could, I couldn't agree anymore. I know, uh, for example, when, whenever I put myself in my wife's shoes and do my best to like, empathize on, okay, this is taking a lot longer. And I remember moving to The Bahamas and understanding like the island culture and you know, you have island time, which is a real thing. So I'm from New York City and everything is time is money. But when you go to the islands. It's just very different. It's a different pace of life, and you have to get yourself acclimated and, and empathize by having a better understanding of, of what that life is like. And it's not to say that one is better than the other, right? It's not to say that one is more valid. It, it's really just getting accustomed to your environment and, uh, empathizing by having a better understanding of how the culture works. Or, for example, if a woman is taken super long to get beautiful many times, like you're gonna benefit from that if you're going on a date. Right? Like, that's, that's a, that's an amazing thing. Uh, she's taken the time, it shows that she actually cares and, uh, not only about, you know, herself, but maybe she cares about her appearance going out, looking nice with you, or, um, all of that. So there, there's, and then it's like if your partner feels more confident because they took the time to really get themselves all dolled up, like. It's a really good thing, but you have to have the right perspective because if in your mind you don't care about any of that, you just want to be on time, of course, it's gonna be super frustrating sometimes also setting your intention if you, if you know you're with someone that takes a little longer to get ready, and sometimes it's us fellas, like I, I have plenty of friends who these brothers are, are very just, uh, they take their time getting, getting themselves ready, and, um, sometimes it is the men that take longer. And the thing about it is, uh, if you, if you're with someone that does take longer, you have to set your intention in advance and put things in place. Maybe like one of the, one of the, the strategies that I've used over the years is if I know I have to be at an appointment at seven o'clock, like I'm getting up an hour earlier or I'm gonna mention to my wife, Hey, we have to be there at six. Not that it starts at six, but we have to be there at six just in case we go over. It's like we're still on time. So there's little things that you can do here and there, uh, to kinda work with these, these relationships and, and just kind of work through your, your impatience. So, um, now when it comes to, uh, life satisfaction, being able to accept what you can't control, right? Uh, this is a big part of it because if you truly wanna be satisfied with your life, you have to let go of what you can't control. That's the premise of stoic philosophy. That's why I cover it so much, because it's very practical way of living. When you just have the perspective of, you know what, I'm gonna focus on what I can control, and I'm gonna let go of what I can, what I can't. Okay. Another thing is responding rather than reacting. So many times when we're impatient, we're just quick to react. But you could also just respond properly based on the circumstances, and you also have the ability to enjoy the present more. I know when I let go of impatience, whenever I just go with the flow and just let it rock, like I realize that I have a much better time. And that's one of the, the biggest benefits to, to all of this. So, um, there's, there's common obstacles to patients that I wanted to share as well. So one of the things is instant gratification culture. This is a big, big part of our culture today, and there's expectations of speed. It's interesting because if you're doing in business in the Americas sometimes like time is, is money, right? And I should say North America specifically, because if you go to, let's say parts of South America or through the Caribbean business is done very different. It's not like super, super fast. In, in North America we have these expectations of speed and it just doesn't work like that all around the world. So it is important to be mindful of that. Another thing when it comes to obstacles is just stress fatigue. Your just overall mood. When you're tired or depleted, you're more likely to lose patience. So sometimes it's like you may just be hangry. It's not that you are impatient at your core. You know, you, you may just be a little moody. Maybe you're a little stressed out. And that's why it is always essential to, to kind of get yourself back to equilibrium Now, um, over control. It is a big one. And I, I know for me, uh, when I, when I was growing up, like my mom was kind of like OCD, you know, she had all these kids in the house and she had to make sure that she was on it to keep the order. And I, I feel like a lot of my OCD ways when I was just starting out in life kind of came from that, like just being exposed to that way of life. And, um, over control was a big, big part of just my development. I had to like, let go of a lot of control because sometimes we, we clinging to control a lot. We want more certainty, so we tend to micromanage and, and want to control every facet of life. And you're gonna drive yourself crazy like that. So you might as well get to a place where you can let go of trying to control everything. Another thing is unresolved past experiences or impulses. Sometimes your impulses. Due to things that you've gone, you know, you've, you may have gone through in the past. So it is good to have the awareness of that. Okay. Now, different, uh, aspects of my life where impatience has cost me. I know, uh, throughout my journey, just navigating through impatience has been a big, big part of the process. And, uh, man, I can tell you, like there, I remember when I first got started in business and I remember thinking to myself, like, I, I, I, I remember a story of, um, when I first started in business, like I was in travel and, you know, we were, we were essentially, um, selling, you know, travel memberships in the marketplace. And I remember a mentor of mine, she had, uh, printed out some flyers and I remember thinking to myself, man, if I just hand out a bunch of these flyers. I'm going to, um, you know, get a lot of customers. And I remember just thinking that like, okay, like logically speaking, if I just buy a bunch of flyers and people see the, the, the benefit of what I have, then I'm gonna get a lot of calls. And I remember getting up, uh, this was probably like my first two weeks in business and I get up, I, I bought like thousands and thousands of, of these flyers. So I, I, I get up like at three 30 in the morning, uh, with my boy, uh, Miguel at the time, and he was like my business partner just starting out on that first endeavor. And I get these flyers and what we do is we, we walk all throughout the Bronx in New York, and we put the flyers on these cars. So we are like, you know, and the reason why we got up so early is because we didn't want people to know that the flyer boy was also the business owner, right? So it, it ain't a good look if that's your business. And you're also the one just putting the flyers on all the, uh, on all the cars. So, long story short. We're putting the flyers, we spent like hours and hours. Finally, it was morning time and we were done. Like we were tired. We had put, loaded up all the cars in the neighborhood with these flyers and we say, you know what? Let's, let's catch up on some sleep and then get up and just get ready for, I guess, this overflow of calls that were gonna be coming in. So anyway, the next morning, uh, we, well, we get up probably like around 11:30 AM and then we look out, we come out, uh, where we were staying and we look outside and it had rained. And the reason why I bring up it had rained is because there were literally, we could see people trying to scrape the flyer off the windshield, literally, like trying to just scrape because the, the, the flyer got stuck on the, the windshield and all of those cars that we pretty much put flyers on. Got stuck on these wins. So you saw a bunch of like stuck flyers on these cars. And the reason why I bring that up is because handing out flyers wasn't even the most effective way to go about my business. But I was impatient and I wanted it to happen super fast and I was taking shortcuts. And those shortcuts cost me a lot of frustration. So more love the story is be mindful of when you're trying to take shortcuts because you may think it's a shortcut, but it actually prolongs the process. I end up spending all this money more time on something that wasn't even affected. Okay. And I, I had learned, I hadn't gone to a training event at that point in time, so I didn't really know any better. I was just kind of following my lead and it was a mentor that had just started out in that business as well. So. She didn't really know exactly how to go about the business in the best way. But again, the biggest takeaway is be mindful of when you're trying to take shortcuts and also understand that those shortcuts may very well be the one thing that prolong the entire process. So that's a big one. Okay. Now there's a story from an article on Psychology Today that, uh, there was a piece about a person trying to stream the Super Bowl, but dealing with technical difficulties, right? And the patience required, plus how gratitude shifted perception. So really, really great article and having technical difficulties is something that we could probably all relate to. I remember we, we started adopting this, this term, uh, or this phrase where when we were having technical difficulties setting up presentations and things like that, we just say, champions adjust. And we remind the audience, you know, or everybody's shuffling around like, okay, teamwork makes the dream, dream work. Champions adjust and reminding our audience that like, Hey, we are, we're gonna do our best to just figure this thing out. And them seeing a lot of people just seeing how we kind of navigate through different challenges. A lot of people wanted to be, uh, business partners with us for that reason, because they see like, okay, these are people who are very resourceful. They're, they're gonna figure it out. They're gonna come together. So sometimes having the right perspective can go a long way if there's delays, technical delays. It's funny, I was watching The Bad Bunny concert and I was, it was live streaming on Amazon, and I was just hoping to God, uh, that the live stream did not screw up because it was such a phenomenal performance. I'm not sure how many of you caught it, but man, it was such a beautiful moment in time. And especially for me, my heritage is Puerto Rican heritage. I come from a Puerto Rican family. To see the magnitude of what he put together was absolutely amazing. Make sure you go check it out if you haven't done so. But yes, technical difficulties, whether it's live streaming, presentations, all that stuff, it happens. And the, the thing about it is just acknowledge it. Uh, you know, you can even call it out if you're planning an event and things aren't working out, let people know, Hey, you know, we're human too. And, uh, these things happen. Okay? But always own up to your mistakes. Now, sometimes patience really comes from even going through health challenges. Sometimes you have health challenges and, uh, that, that patience plays a major role in your overall recovery or resilience, right? So, um, there's so much that you can take away from different seasons of your life that require different aspects of patience, whether it's your health, whether it's relationships or business and career, finances, all that stuff. There will be moments in your life where it's just. Going to take longer than you expect. And I just choose to believe that God is cooking up something even better, right? He's not rushing, he's not rushing whatever it is that he's cooking up for me. So sometimes just being, being calm during the storm, being calm, and just knowing that this too shall pass and there's something great brewing up on the other side, that perspective alone will bring you the hope that you need to get through. Okay, so the next segment is going to be on tools and practices to cultivate patients. All right, so here's where the how really comes in Now. The first tool is mindfulness and present moment awareness, mindfulness and present moment awareness. So tons of exercises that you can do. You guys hear me all the time, talk about different breathing exercises. So I love box breathing, for example. Inhale for four seconds. Hold on, full lungs for empty, uh, four seconds, empty the lungs four seconds, and then hold those lungs on, empty lungs for four seconds. And I do this four times. So great easy breathing technique that you can follow. But there's a lot of different ones. Sometimes when it comes to mindfulness, uh, you can have mindfulness exercise, like eating a fruit, right? And focusing on different sensations, being out in nature, focusing on on the, on nature and, and things like that. But there's so many different ways that you can go about mindfulness exercises, and this helps you kind of get your mind off of what's stressing you out. Okay? The second thing is reframing and perspective shifts. So sometimes it's just a matter of. Just reframing whatever it is that you're going through, changing the way that you're looking at whatever it is that you're going through. So in the storm, I like to just kind of reframe my, that season of being in a storm, like, you know what? This is my comeback season. Or maybe you just got out of a storm and you're doing all this damage control, or you're just rebuilding. You're in the process of rebuilding your life. Just reframing it as a comeback season. As you know what? I built a very solid foundation and now I'm gonna bounce back even bigger and stronger than before. Okay? And remember when impatient stripes, just take some time to breathe. Observe what you're feeling without judgment. Uh, and that can be just, you know, going within and focusing on your breath, focusing on, uh, the brighter side of things. Okay? Now remember to see the lay or waiting, not as a waste of time, but as opportunity to reflect, to reset. For observation. So it's always gonna be a great opportunity for these things, introspection. Now, recognize also what's out of your control and focus on what you can influence what's within the parameters of your control. And there's tons of really, really great articles and resources on this that I would definitely recommend checking out. Um, the third is a self-compassion, which is a huge one. Sometimes we just have to be kind to ourselves. So being kind to yourself when you feel impatient, understanding that this is also part of the human experience, you're going to have to have tons of moments where you're navigating through life and it's taking longer than you expect. And it is good to reduce self-criticism, acknowledging that impatience doesn't make you a bad person. Impatience, like we all kind of struggle with that from time to time. And, uh, it doesn't mean that you know, you, you have this major character flaw sometimes. Impatience could actually work in your favor because you have some pepper in your stat, right? Like you're, you're taking action. You're very, uh, you're, you're, you're urgent when it comes to things that have to get done. And I've actually have seen this work very well, um, in, in the business world. I remember even talking to my wife about it. I said, when I asked her, I said, Hey, would you rather me like just be super laid back? And I remember just having a heart to heart with her. Like, look, I know this has got to be annoying me just always on top of things and like, Hey, let's go, let's go. Like it's, you know, but when I asked her, I had a heart to heart moment with her, like, would you rather me not be like this? And to my surprise, she actually values the fact that I'm like that. You can't have two laid back people in a household. It just, ain't it. The kids are gonna walk all over you and you're never gonna get things done. How are you gonna lead your family if you have two nonchalant people that have no concept of time? So she actually values that aspect of, of it. But there's one, it's one thing to be impatient, but it's another thing to be impatient and also mean Right. To be an asshole. Like when, whenever, like, and, and I've had plenty of moments like that. Like, yeah. Like I can just say, Hey, we gotta go. We gotta go. But then I could just also be mean, like, Hey, why are you always late? Or whatever. Like, so it, it, it is important to be mindful of how you communicate during times of impatience and doing your best to speak from a place of logic and not necessarily get emotionally charged up about it and understand that it's you. Your partner versus the problem, not you versus your partner. So if your partner, again, takes a little longer, right? And you have to be on time, then work with your partner. You know, don't just sit there and, and, uh, complain about it the entire time. Number four is small practice moments. So using everyday minor delays to train, waiting in lines, letting traffic not ruin your mood and et cetera. So, uh, tons of small moments where you can just kind of practice how you navigate through your patients. Okay? Another thing is purposeful discomfort. So choose to delay small gratifications. Resist checking phone immediately and things like that. So there's so many things throughout the course of the day that are stripping us of our dopamine. And one thing I can tell you is scrolling through social media definitely is one of the biggest ones I know, especially for me. The average person a day spends over two hours a day on social media. So there's so many things that we do for instant gratification. But what if you can be intentional about subjecting yourself to purposeful discomfort because you know it's better for you? Okay. And think about all the things that you do throughout the day where you do it for instant gratification. Now, how many of those things can you just pause on? Okay. And this will be one of the most valuable skills in life. I remember learning about the marshmallow experiment and they had two test groups of children. One children, one set of children. They said, Hey, uh, if you do this, you can get the marshmallow right away. And then another, the other test group was, uh, they had the kids practice, um, you know, just, uh, letting go of instant gratification. And they said, Hey, if you actually wait, we'll give you, we'll reward you with, with more marshmallows if you just wait. So the first test group got the marshmallows right away. The second test group were forced to just wait to receive even more marshmallows. And they studied them throughout the course of their lives. Crazy actual study. Look it up. And what they discovered is the ones that went on to live better lives, better quality lives were the young children that were able to subject themselves to, uh, not having instant gratification, the ones that were able to prolong the gratification. And it's a super valuable skill in life if you can learn how to prolong gratification. And, and just wait it out. Like it'll, it'll help you with so many aspects of life. So really, really great, uh, study to look up, uh, if you ever, if you ever wanna geek out about these different concepts. Okay, so small practice moments, big one. Now, stress and fatigue management. Big, big part of the process. Chances are if you're, if you're moody, you're gonna be a lot more impatient. If you're hangry, you're gonna be a lot more impatient. Now, if you want more patience, if this is an area that you really wanna work on, ensure good sleep. So whenever you're tired, understand that emotions are gonna be more reactive. That should, that's, that comes with it. So sleep is a big part of it. Stress reduction is also another one. And how do you reduce stress? Exercise, meditation, relaxation, breathing, all that good stuff. Short walks. You guys hear me talk about it all the time. So there's a, a really great article on the Cleveland Clinic strategy, um, where there's a Cleveland Clinic strategy and it's all these different strategies for stress management. So, um, I always recommend exercise, like that's always been therapy, gym therapy, super valuable. Meditation is a big part. I actually meditate even the mornings of the breakfast club. I'm up at 5:00 AM but I still take time to meditate because it just calms your nervous system. And sometimes just taking some time to relax. Like you, you may need to even decompress. Maybe you, you can watch a good show that'll make you laugh. All of this stuff most certainly helps, and I know Sundays are beautiful days for me because I take time to just, you know, kick it with my family and just relax and not do much. And it's always a great way to reset. So this is a big part of the process. Number six is empathy and listening. So in interpersonal. Uh, patients trying to see another person's point of view, letting them finish speaking. I know I had to work on that big time in my early years and holding back quick judgements. So, um, in the Cleveland Clinic's tips, they talk a lot about this and, uh, this is a big, big part of interpersonal patience and many times we lose patience with people. Think about it, like you may have some coworkers or maybe some, some, uh, employees that you're working with, team members that you're working with, where you get super, super impatient and just remember, not everybody's like you, not everybody's like me. And sometimes we have to remind ourselves like that. Like we, we just expect the world to be like us, the world to operate the way we operate. If you are someone that is a go-getter, self-starter, can get things done really, really quick. Understand that that is a gift that, that, that is not applicable to every person on the planet. People have different gifts and skill sets and, and all that stuff. And it is important to remind yourself like, Hey, not everybody's like that. I am rare. I'm, I'm paid in the marketplace for that characteristic that I bring to the table possibly. So having empathy on, on, on this is super important. Number seven is gratitude. So regular practice of gratitude shifts focus from what you don't have and what's delayed to what's present and positive. Okay? So there's a really great article on Psychology Today, um, on patients. Uh, and it mentions all things gratitude. Super important. I mean, I, I take time every single day to just count my blessing. Starting out your day like that is going to be one of the most valuable things that you can do because sometimes when you're stressed out and life is life, and the very first thing on your mind is how are you gonna pay them bills? How are you gonna deal with this? How you're gonna deal with that, that relationship, the health challenges that you're currently facing. And if you start immediately with gratitude, just know that two thoughts cannot occupy the mind simultaneously. So you're not going to be in a state of overwhelming anxiety stress if you're also in a state of gratitude. It just doesn't work that way. So that's the power of gratitude. And lastly, number eight, creating calming routines for impatient moments. So maybe you have go-to strategies, whether it's breathing, stepping away, visualization, journaling, but there's so many go-to calming routine ideas that you can implement. And just to recap, tools and practices to cultivate patients. Number one was mindfulness and present moment awareness. Number two, reframing and perspective shifts. Number three, self-compassion. Number four, small practice moments. Number five, stress and fatigue management. Number six, empathy and listening. Number seven, gratitude. And number eight, creating calming routines for impatient moments. All really, really great tools. Now there's tons of research. I like being a nerd when it comes to a lot of these personal development tactics. Uh, one of the, the pieces of research that I came across yesterday was the, the SCH snickers research showing how patients in various domains, whether it's daily hassles, interpersonal, or even hardship that you're dealing with, it correlates with greater wellbeing. So cultivating that spirit of patience, sometimes I believe that God puts us through these challenges. To cultivate more patience in life, right? Have more empathy. Sometimes that's all you you've got is the ability to just wait it out and be resilient, okay? But, uh, there, there are studies that show that just having, uh, patients are showing patients, whenever you're dealing with these different things, it does correlate to greater wellbeing. Okay? Now there's, uh, there's, so, uh, ma many, like just short trainings as well that identify triggers, uh, or even regulating emotions. Meditation, uh, all of these things in patients, uh, resulted in measurable increases during these trainings. So, um, having more emotional intelligence, whenever you're getting riled up, it goes a long way. And here's some, uh, psychological mechanisms as well. So how are brain responds to waiting and delay? Um, which is huge because you have reward systems, dopamine, and, uh, defaults to discomfort so many different aspects. So if you have an understanding of how your brain works and how it navigates, uh, to just having to wait. I know there are people, for example, um, that I know some of my friends, like, they can't be in silence. They can't just sit there and wait with like nothing going on. They always have to be stimulated by some kind of music or some noise and, and some people operate like that. And it is, it is essential to kind of like do that self-inventory of how do you show up when there's nothing going on and you just have to sit there with yourself, with your emotions. Some people who are, uh, very afraid of, of, of dealing with their emotions are some of the very people that can't be by themselves alone in a quiet space. Okay? So how can you work on that aspect of your life? Okay. There's also a role of cognitive and emotional flexibility. So how meditation or d automization helps shift habitual reactivity, similar to finding in research, like increasing cognitive emotional flexibility with meditation and hypnosis. And this is from the r uh, XIV notions. Uh, you know, tons of really great resources out there. And also when it comes to research, uh, there's a balance between patients and passivity. So it's important to not misunderstand patients as resigning or giving up. That's a big one because I know throughout the course of my journey sometimes when you realize like something is just not for you. And some people can look at it as just giving up on whatever it is that you're going through, but sometimes it's just good to acknowledge when. You know what this season is, it's over for this season, and this no longer serves me. This season is, is definitely not the most conducive for where I wanna go. And it doesn't mean that you're giving up sometimes if you need to take a break from something, right? It, it doesn't mean that you're resigning, it's just you need to take some time for yourself, take some time for your self-care to really catch yourself. Sometimes you have to go into that season of spiritual selfishness so that you can fill your cup and get back to doing what you know best. So be unapologetic about that. We all have our different ways of processing things, and the biggest thing is really just to have that self, self-compassion for yourself and, and understand that you know what, we're all a work in progress. We're all doing our best here, and it's okay to take some time to really catch yourself and reset. Take some time to regroup with everything. Okay? It's an active stance. So responding overreacting, choosing acceptance verse resentment. Major, major takeaway. Now as we get ready to bring the plan in for a landing, here's some also, um, some practical exercises and reflection. So, um, these are just a few simple exercises that you can take away. The very first one is impatience, trigger mapping. So think about this, think about the last time you felt really impatient the last time. I know for me, I, when I was out in, uh, we went to Barcelona and, and Lisbon, Portugal over the summer and you know, we're on, um, some of it was like on a itinerary and like we have to catch trains and, and buses and all this different stuff. So I'm already like getting super antsy and typically that, like when I go on vacation, I kind of get like that and I always have to set my inten and my intention before I go on vacation to say, okay, hey, like, it's okay if you miss the bus and you have to catch the next one. It's all good. Right? Reminding, um, ourselves of that. And, um, so you asked yourself what triggered it? What triggered you feeling super impatient? What were you expecting? How did you respond? And what thoughts were running during that time? So you can do all kinds of stuff, whether it's pause, write, or reflect for a moment when these things do arise. And I know for me, uh, one of the things that that really has been helpful has been being intentional with how I respond, being kind with my response, right? Being more articulate, being just a better communicator, whether it's dealing with, uh, my wife or my children or people that I lead, right. Employees, things like that. So, uh, being mindful of the communication when I'm in those spaces.'cause sometimes you don't have the luxury of being patient. You just don't. Okay. So that's a big part of it. Exercise two is a short mindfulness, a short mindfulness breathing. So it could be honestly a two minute breathing exercise, inhale and exhale, uh, whether it's the box breathing, things like that. Um, noticing that you're having tension. Where in your body do you experience tension? When you are feeling very impatient or you're losing your patience? Okay. And taking two minutes to just catch yourself and breathe and release that tension can go a long, long way. The third is gratitude shift. Okay? So you can have a gratitude shift. So immediately, whenever you find yourself in a space of impatience, think of three to five things in your life right now or in that moment that are going well or that you even appreciate and encourage, right? Um, or you should, you should be encouraged to just journal about it. It does absolutely help to, to journal about whatever it is that you're going through. I can't tell you, like, I can't speak more of the benefits of, of journaling and I hope that you guys are implementing it in some shape or fashion with, with your life. And lastly, uh, a reframing practice. So you can take a scenario of waiting or delay that you dread, right? And what might be another way to see it, whatever it is that you're dealing with. How could this waiting bring something positive or even give you space for other things? So perhaps it's like you're sitting in traffic, you know you're gonna be in traffic. You hate waiting while the traffic comes, but what if you could just tune into a podcast and learn something? What if you can develop an entirely new skill? What if you can learn a language? There's so much that you can do in the process of waiting. So that, that has most certainly helped me throughout my journey or sometimes. You're just inundated with life and you're, you don't even have time to spend with your thoughts. And those moments could be those, those times during the day where you can just like, spend time with your thoughts. That's why I love driving. I love driving because while I'm driving, if it's a 25 minute drive, it's also not just a 25 minute drive, but a time to spend time with my thoughts, right? And really just reflect. Or maybe you just wanna listen to some music, boost your mood a little bit, and all of that stuff definitely helps. So before we wrap up, uh, remember, um, there's so much that you can do here. Okay. Um, it's also important to acknowledge. Maybe your self-talk around your patients. So I had to tell myself for years that I have patience, right? Because I, I had really struggled with it for, for so long that I had to have like these affirmations or just reframe the way that I was going about my, my language around it. Okay? So instead of saying, for example, I try, but I always snap, you could even ask, how do I stop reactive behavior with this, right? And really just take some time to really process that. Okay? And does being patient mean letting people take advantage of me or you, or you not standing up for yourself, right? Having that shift in perspective and remember, patience is not passivity. It's about choosing your response, not letting emotions control your actions. You can still have boundaries and a certain needs and patience helps you do that with clarity. Okay. Sometimes you have to use timeouts self-talk. I will wait. This will pass. Practice. Putting a pause between stimulus and reaction. I know my wife and I, one of the things that we had implemented, like whenever we started getting all route up about something, we would just come back to it a little later. Like, we'll give ourselves some time to relax and catch ourselves and then address it later. And nine out of 10 times, you're gonna be in a much better mood and you're gonna deal with it in a much better way. Okay, some of you may believe you don't have time for meditation, right? Or long practices. Um, or are, you know, are short things useful? Think about it from that standpoint, right? So even the small moments do matter. The daily brief breathing, many pauses, micro, micro, mindfulness exercises, all of those things definitely help. So it doesn't have to be 20 minutes. And by the way, if you don't have about 10 minutes with just some prayer, meditation, you definitely need to reevaluate some things because it's not about just prayer, meditation. Listen, it's, it's about just tapping in with yourself. It's about priming yourself for the day ahead and being the very best version of, of, of you, and showing up for your loved ones the way that you need to. Okay? Um, sometimes you're asking how long until I see change, and it really just depends. Some shifts you might notice quickly where you're feeling calmer or in small weights, right? Others take, you know, consistent work at it. Like it just takes a long period of time. But be kind to yourself and understand that it, it, it is a gradual process. So putting it all together, here's a suggested seven day plan for you guys. Um, and you can, you can just implement these things in a seven day period for, uh, more patients. Okay, so here, here they are, day one. You can identify your biggest impatience triggers, whatever that is for you and general about one situation every time you feel it. Okay? And the second, the second day. Day two, could be practice mindfulness, breathing, two minutes in the morning and evening, just taking some time to connect, taking yourself to time to just really reflect. Day three is when waiting, whether it's in a line or in traffic, try reframing it. See it as a moment to pause. Don't look at it as a waste of time. I know for me, I used to look at it like I was wasting my life, right? Like I, I'd be so impatient that like, I, I just would feel like I'm wasting time, right? Like, I'm losing time. But what if you're not losing time, but really finding yourself in the process. What if that's really what's happening, right? Again, it's just a simple reframe. Day four is gratitude practice. So listing three small things that you can be grateful for. I always say out of the three things, one of, one of the things should be something so insignificant that you really don't express gratitude for, but think about one, one thing every single day. That's probably insignificant to most, but it's something that you can be grateful for. That can be the beautiful tree outside of your home that provides your home with shade or just more beauty or whatever. It can be the small breeze on your face, but it, it, it programs you to. Essentially think of things that you're grateful for and you'd be surprised at what you find. Day five can be an empathy practice. So in a conversation, you slow down your responses and listen fully. Do not think about what you're gonna say right after the person finishes or don't cut them off, but just listen fully and deeply. Day six can be purposeful discomfort, so delay small gratification and see how you can put it off. And lastly, day seven is a reflection, uh, exercise that you can take, and that's basically looking back at your progress, whether it's the last 24 hours, the last week, the last month, or even just the year or even the last five to 10 years, but taking some time to really reflect on your progress and note where patients improve, set intentions for moving forward. So I know for me. I've had to learn the hard way, but I, I can proudly say that I've been getting better at communicating whenever I do get impatient. And again, it's a work in progress. Okay. Um, so keeping a journal remember is gonna be super valuable. Whether it's just journaling about those small wins or just journaling about how you're feeling, maybe you're in a whole mood and the journaling could be the one thing that helps you throughout the course of the day. All right. So thank you guys for slowing down with me today and really taking some time to process what exactly Patience is all about, different tools. I hope that this session was valuable for you and, uh, maybe you thought about patience in a way that you haven't in the past. And remember that patience isn't a destination. It's a journey. And you'll have those moments of frustration, of waiting, of discomfort. Sometimes you'll revert back to your old ways, but. It doesn't mean that you failed, right? They're just opportunities to grow even more to learn and to choose your response. That's really what it's about. So even if you just try, one of the tools that we discuss here today, um, you know, even if it's, let's say, mapping your triggers or doing some breathing exercises. You're going to feel some type of a shift, you're gonna feel some difference, okay? When it comes to just navigating through impatience. So if this was valuable for you, make sure you like, comment, share, tag, subscribe if you can. Uh, it's greatly appreciated. Thank you for all of you, uh, who do share the Breakfast Club consistently on your social media, uh, platforms. Thank you for those who share stars and all that good stuff on, on Facebook. You know, we stream everywhere, so it's truly appreciated. Make sure you guys tap into this week's masterclass on Saturday. It's free for everyone, and it's basically going to be me showing you guys how to essentially, uh, earn an extra$2,000 a month, um, with your expertise. So whatever it is that you specialize in, uh. On your mission. So looking forward to going deeper with that. And, uh, if you wanna hear a little bit more about the program and the scholarships that we have for our Breakfast Club community, just DM me the word coach. I'll be more than happy to send some information over to you. So take care. God bless you all. Breakfast is officially served and the goal for today is have more patience. Take care, and I'll be seeing you guys next week.