Why Most People Don't Actually Change, Even When They Want To

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Today we're going to be talking about why most people don't actually change even when they want to. So hope you guys are having a great start to your week, and for those who are new to the Breakfast Club, welcome. Happy to have you all here. As always, we're about to get this show on the road, so if you guys don't mind drop a like. Comment, share, tag, someone who can get value from this morning's Breakfast Club session. And if this is your very first time hopping on, uh, welcome. We have people who tune in from all over the world. I've been hosting the Breakfast Club Community, which is brought to you by the Journey Podcast. And, uh, really excited because uh, this week I'm actually going to be speaking at. The number one podcasting conference in the world. So really excited about that because as you guys know, the Breakfast Club community really is an extension of the Journey podcast. The Breakfast Club is where we gather together every single Tuesday at 7:00 AM Eastern Standard Time, and I've been doing this for many years now, but the Journey Podcast is where I also get to interview some incredible people from all around the world. And, uh, this, this weekend I'm going to be representing the Journey Podcast. At podcast. I'll be speaking at the event on how to monetize a podcast. So really excited. I know some of you guys will be there in attendance as well. So welcome everyone. And to get us kickstarted, we're going to start off with three life hacks and fun facts. And I always like just sharing these before we get into the, the main topic of the morning. And I'm going to get us kickstarted with the very first life hack, which is change the environment. Before you try to change yourself. So as you guys know, we're obviously kicking off the new year and I actually just wrapped up a mastermind in Mimosas event this past weekend, uh, where I was speaking at my really good friends event and, uh, absolutely amazing. And I spoke a lot about goal setting, a lot about making changes. I know some of you were in attendance there as well, so nice seeing you guys. But, uh, we're going to be talking a lot about change. Why? Because this is the time of the year where, I mean, change is kind of like the theme, right? When you kick off the year, and unfortunately for a lot of people, you guys hear me talk about this all the time. There's actually like a national quitters day in January. It's the day that most people put their dreams, their new year resolutions on the back burner and just kind of go back into their. Old habits, they revert back to their old ways. So with our community, I'm very, very big on just making sure that we're staying accountable and we're, we're moving forward week over week. So if you're looking for a community that is essentially going to keep you motivated, keep you inspired. Be a part of this amazing community. We also have challenges that we run throughout the course of the year, and right now I'm doing five day challenges with our community. It's, this challenge is very unique because it's one-on-one challenge. Uh, it's a one-on-one challenge where I work with you for five days over the course of a week, and there's so many people who've been, uh, taking advantage of the challenge. We started. In early December, and we're still going forward with the challenge. So if you guys would like more information on it, just DM me the word challenge and I can send you a little bit more information on how it works. And no matter if you're launching a business or maybe you're looking to, uh, just, you know, take your, your life to the next level, you're looking to accomplish specific goals for this year, it is a great way to get those goals kickstarted. So looking forward to working with more of you throughout the month. And let's jump right into it. The very first life hack that we're going to cover is change your environment before you try to change yourself. Most people rely on willpower, however, high performers rely on design. Rely on design. I remember I read a book called Willpower years ago, and the, the book was all about how willpower works, the science of willpower. And one thing that I had learned from that book was the idea of willpower depletion. So willpower is a lot like a muscle. Right. You have, uh, you have a certain amount of willpower when you start the day, and usually it's kind of like in direct proportion to like your glucose levels, your energy levels throughout the day, your motivation, dopamine, all of that stuff. But you have a certain amount of willpower when you first start the day. Think of it like a gas tank, and you may start the day completely on a. Full gas tank. But as you're making decisions throughout the day, whether it's answering emails or dealing with difficult circumstances or having difficult conversations, your willpower starts to deplete more and more and more. This is a big reason why oftentimes people in the fitness world recommend. Starting the day with your workout, because when you start your day with your workout, you're a lot more likely to stay consistent because most people, by the end of the day, they've, they've had so much life, life in that there's zero willpower left to actually get themselves in the gym. So it's super, super essential to always ensure that you, you knock out. The very important task. I remember I read a book called Eat That Frog, and it was by Brian Tracy, and the concept of eating that frog really is. Eating, eating that, that, that frog, when you think about eating a frog, is like disgusting. Right? But when the, the, the analogy was really doing the difficult thing right from the beginning. So he mentions how when, when you have to eat a frog, if you prolong it, let's say you, you say, you know what? I really don't want to eat this frog. I'm gonna eat it in the, in the evening. I know it's a kind of a crazy visual there, but the thought of having to eat a frog is going to. Permeate your mind all throughout the day. So it's much better to just get it over with right from the beginning. That way it's not lingering. And it, it works a lot like that in our lives with doing difficult things. If you know that there's something that you have to do later on in the day that's arduous, that's, that's daunting, you might as well just get it over with when you have the most willpower. Right. And. You also can put yourself in a position where you're not having to think about it all day long. I remember that was the case for me when I used to have to write assignments in college. I'd have an assignment due and there's something called Parkinson's. Effect and Parkinson's effect is when we use a certain amount of time allotted to us for a specific task. And even though the task may not require that much time, let's say you're given three weeks to write a paper. How many of you can relate to waiting to the very, very end, maybe the last three hours? To actually write that paper you had the entire three weeks. But the way human nature works is we typically wait till the very end or use an entire amount of time before we do a difficult task that's Parkinson's effect, that its finest. So when it comes to doing very difficult things, knock out those things very early on in in the day. One of the things that I spoke about at this Mastermind and Mimosas event last weekend was. The idea of having a big three, you should always know what are your three biggest tasks. I mentioned how Warren Buffet once said that if you have more than three priorities, you don't have any. So you wanna have your three to thrive, your big three. And those are the three essential tasks that you have to do for the day that are super important. And think of it like, for example, if you're looking to lose weight. Then you probably shouldn't prolong on getting on that treadmill or burning those calories or whatever the case may be. That may be. One of your big three, or maybe you're working on writing a book, you probably should spend some time writing, let's say a, a chapter or writing a, a paragraph, whatever. Just getting some momentum with what it is that you should be doing, and every day is a little bit different, so maybe. You haven't spent much, you haven't spent much time with your kids, and your big three for the day is taking your kids to the park or spending some quality time with your significant other. But identify what is your big three before rolling into the day. And if you do that, remember if you fail to plan, you plan to fail. So if you do that, you're far more likely to actually follow through on doing the important things. Now, moving forward, we have some more shares. Once again, if you guys don't mind, let us know where in the world you are tuning in from. I see we have people tuning in from New York, from Florida. We have Trinidad and Tobago in the Baha in the house. We've got Canada, we've got The Bahamas. Welcome. Welcome everyone. Happy to have you all here. And by the way, you can catch the live stream of the Breakfast Club on multiple platforms. It's live streamed on Facebook, Instagram, YouTube. Sometimes we may even have it on LinkedIn from time to time, but you can pretty much catch it live from multiple platforms. Whichever one works best for you, make sure you subscribe to whichever one you're on by the way, or at least follow. Next up, we have. This life hack, uh, this next life hack is remove friction from the good habits and add friction to the bad ones. So let's say if you wanna read more, for example, put the book on your pillow. Pillow. If you have the book on your pillow, or maybe, I know a lot of people put the book right by their toilet and they're like toilet readers. But if you, if you put the book nearby, if it's, if it's obvious, right, you're far more likely to actually follow through. And let's say you wanna scroll less on social media, you can charge your phone outside. Maybe in the bathroom you can charge your phone or if, if getting up in the morning and maybe you have a habit of snoozing, put your phone outside of your room, but where you can actually hear the alarm. There's a lot of things you can do. I, I actually delete my social media every night so that, so that I'm not waking up in the morning doom scrolling. But there's a lot of things that you can do to stack value on top of habits and also. Increase the friction or reduce the friction. So that's the idea. Whatever it is that you're looking to do low. If you're looking to lose weight, for example, you probably shouldn't have a bunch of sweets in front of your face all throughout the day while you're home. If you're looking to gain muscle, for example, maybe you have to get into the gym and perhaps having your gym close. Or sleep in your gym clothes if you have to. Just make sure they're clean, of course, but you may have to sleep in your gym clothes. That way when you wake up, it's already, again, minimal friction to to get that done. Remember, this behavior follows environment faster than motivation. Behavior follows environment faster than motivation. One of the things that I had learned from James Clear on the, the book Atomic Habits is a really good book. He actually has a ma a masterclass on the platform masterclass and a lot of different teachings on it. But whenever you're looking to improve habits, you, you're looking to improve certain things in your life. There's a few things that you have to. Have kind of dialed in when you're looking to make something a, a good habit in your life. So for example, one of the things he talks about is making something obvious. Making it obvious. So if you're looking to work out, it should be obvious that you're going to be working out throughout the day, and that may be putting it on your calendar. It may be having your gym closed, ready to go, or your bottle of water, all of that stuff, making it obvious. Okay. Another thing that he talks about is making it easy. So this goes back to the idea of. Minimizing the amount of, uh, mini, mini, minimizing the amount of resistance, right? He also talks about making it attractive. So how can you make, let's say, working out attractive? Maybe if you work out with a workout buddy and you enjoy hanging out with that workout buddy, that can be one way. Maybe if you put on ladies, if you have a really, you know, nice gym outfit that you wanna put on. That could also make it more attractive. Maybe it's doing something that you actually enjoy, like a Zumba class, salsa class, yoga, whatever it is. But making it attractive is, is very important. Okay. And just making the process satisfying as well. So when you actually do it. Do everything you can to make it satisfying. I always talk about the idea of pleasure stacking, so let's just, let's just say you don't like washing dishes. Washing dishes is a very daunting task for you. How can you make it more satisfying? How can you make it a little bit more attractive? And for most of you, you're probably like, there's no way that. Washing dishes could ever be attractive for me. However, what if you like drinking a glass of wine and you just kind of intertwined the two? Or maybe you like having a cup of coffee or lis listening to a certain podcast. Listen, listening to specific music or watching a show. And perhaps that's what you can do to make it more attractive. That's the idea of pleasure stacking, stacking things that actually brings you pleasure with things that aren't necessarily so attractive. Next up, we have ask better questions when you feel stuck. Remember, your brain is a problem solving machine, but it answers whatever question you ask it. So the quality of your life will be determined by the quality of questions. You consistently ask yourself, ask yourself better questions. So rather than just, let's just say falling into victimhood where you're like, life is just happening to me and everything, how about you just ask yourself, how can I make my circumstances better? What if there was a way, what if there was an answer to this? What would that answer be? Sometimes we just don't ask ourselves enough questions and we're, we're up against certain things and we just kind of accept our circumstances as, oh, it's just the way it is. Where we don't really challenge ourselves to say, you know what, how can I get myself out of this situation? How can I make these circumstances better? How can I make my relationship better? How can I deepen the, the, the relationship with my children? Asking yourself better questions. So instead of asking, for example, why can't I change? Ask what part of me is afraid to change, it's a deeper question. What part of me. Is a phrase to change. Sometimes we fear change because it's a little bit uncomfortable because we're navigating in uncharted waters. Maybe it's something that we've never done before, and the human brain doesn't necessarily like change. It likes predictability because our, our, our ancient brain is, is not necessarily designed to make us happy. It's designed to keep us alive. So you have to really identify some of the reasons why you, you don't like change. Okay? That single shift moves you from frustration to awareness instantly, because I, I, it's like whenever, whenever I get triggered by something l lately, over the last year or so, I, I asked myself, well, why, why did I get triggered by that? What part of me felt triggered? What, what was it that really rubbed me off the wrong way? And when was the last time you asked yourself, why did I feel, why did I snap on that person? Why do I feel the way that I feel? When, why? Why is this person just always making me feel triggered? Right? And it could be someone that you work with. There's a lot of circumstances like that, but when was the last time you asked yourself, why do I feel the way that I feel? Why? Why is this even bothering me again? Ask yourself better quality questions. Next is. Anchor new habits to identity, not outcomes. It's another really great life hack. Um, goals expire, identity compounds. So the life hack is, I'm trying to, so you wanna replace, I'm trying to be more disciplined with, I'm the kind of person who follows through. It's not as rigid, right? I'm the kind of person who follows through. So when identity shifts, behavior becomes more automatic. Identity is a big, big part of change. I always use my mentors quote that you are who you say you are until you prove otherwise. Your identity is your identity until you prove otherwise. So identity is going to play a big, big part of your entire life. Self-image. I always recommend the book Psycho Cybernetics by Maxwell Moss, a really great book that specifically talks about identity and self-image and identity is going to play a major, major part when it comes to. Your, your life. So if you identify as a healthy person, for example, a lot of the things that you do are going to be to be in alignment with your identity as a healthy person. If you identify as a go-getter, as a hustler, a lot of the times when it comes to be productivity, you're gonna be doing a lot more than the average person who doesn't identify as a go-getter. Okay. But how do you identify? Next. We have three fun facts for you guys. The very first one is, your brain is wired to resist change, even positive change. As I mentioned, it's not designed to keep you happy. It's designed to keep you alive so it's not wired again to resist change. The brain's primary job is safety, not happiness. That's why even good change can feel uncomfortable. Familiar pain often feels safer. Than unfamiliar growth because you're, you're, whenever you navigate in unchartered territory, when you think about how our ancestors lived, they were very nomadic, so they. Travel from region to region, and the brain is kind of like looking for danger, whether it's wildlife or it's an invading tribe, but your, your brain is naturally wired to look for the problem, look for whatever can be going wrong, and, and that's why it is essential to, to know how to channel your focus. So this explains why people self-sabotage right before breakthroughs. Because they fear change or their brain, their body is resisting that change. So you have to get very comfortable with being uncomfortable, as we oftentimes hear. Number two is 95% of daily decisions are made subconsciously. So most people think that they're logical, but they're actually pattern driven. So again, 95% of daily decisions are made subconsciously. It's like the idea of unconscious competence. We navigate through life, and the way our brain is wired is it's designed to not process so much energy. So if it had to think of every single action you're gonna be on brain overload all the time. So your brain is naturally designed to operate sort of unconsciously in a sense. And that's the idea of unconscious competence. You can do a lot of things competently and not even think about it. It's like the process of driving. You don't really have to think about every single turn you ever drive. You ever you ever drive somewhere. You intend to drive somewhere, but you actually make the wrong turn because your body is so programmed to make that specific turn. It reminds me the other day of. I was, uh, my, my trash, my, my trash. We had some, some food that was, um, in the, in the trash bag. So I, I tie up the trash bag and I closed the lid. And then I remember opening up the lid and I, and I just threw a banana peel. And the, the banana peel didn't fall in the trash bag because it was tied up in there. And I saw my son do the same thing, and I had to explain to him like, Hey, buddy, like, pay attention to what you're doing. But also it was the same for me unconsciously. Because we're so wired to just open up the trash can and just dump stuff in there. It, it was like we were, we were already programmed to do that, and that's kind of like how we go through life. We unconsciously do things over and over and over without really thinking about them. Okay. So everything is is pattern driven when it comes to your mind. So what does this mean? This means real transformation happens below the surface. It's a combination of habits, it's beliefs, and it's also emotional conditioning. Habits, beliefs and emotional conditioning beliefs are, are very, very important because beliefs will drive you to do a lot of things. When I think about my overall life, for example. I remember when I started playing football, I was like a hundred pounds soaking wet. I was 13 years old when I first stepped on a, on a football field. I was the size of the average football player's leg. But there was a part of me that genuinely believed that I could play the game. I, I had zero doubt. I, I believed that I, I could play and not have any issues. I remember my mom telling me, I had a mark, a heart murmur when I was a kid as well, and, and she was just so f. Frightened affected in a negative way when it came to that heart murmur. But I had the belief and, and some people are probably like, oh, that's not the best approach, because truth is truth. Well, how many things that you thought were true were actually not. You see belief? Belief is essential because when it comes to. Uh, certain things that are true. Some, some things are true for you, but not necessarily true for other people. Like you may have limitations based on where you are, but that's not somebody else's truth. You may have a certain perspective of the world, but that's not necessarily someone else's truth. So beliefs are very important and, and your beliefs are ultimately gonna shape, shape your model of the world and the way you navigate through the world. So it's always important to question your beliefs. Why do you believe what it is that you believe? Belief doesn't necessarily equate to truth. Belief is what's true for you. And the thing about belief is you always have to question, is it valuable to believe what I believe? Is it valuable? Does it have utility? Is it useful? So I always explain to people as well if I'm, if I'm having a conversation with someone who doesn't believe in God. And I'm like, okay, well, you don't believe in God. And, and that's, that's fine, right? That that's what you choose to believe. But how useful is that navigating through life, just not believing in God. I know from my personal experience, even though I may not be able to necessarily prove the existence, but I can prove the value. You can judge a tree by the fruit that it bears. And my belief in a creator has been very useful throughout the course of my life. So it's beyond belief. Is it useful? Is it valuable? Right? And maybe for you, you're, you don't necessarily believe in, in that, in that framing of it. But I know for me, like when it comes to beliefs, you always have to question whether or not it's making your life better. Or whether it's making it worse. Like you can believe that the world is coming to an end and you have all these reasons to, to justify it. And I can believe that the world is actually getting better. And I also have a lot of justifications and, and explanations of why it's getting better. And the question is, are you a hundred percent sure that you are right? Am I a hundred percent sure that I'm right? And probably not because none of us are fortune tellers. We may have a bunch of reasons that give us that belief. However, whose belief is going to serve them better? Is your belief that the world is coming to an end in your generation going to serve you. Or is it going to have you living in a life of living, a life of fear? You know, over the last 2000 years, every generation thought that the world was going to end in their generation, every single generation for the last 2000 plus years. However, right, for me, I, I don't choose to believe that that's happening in my generation. Even with all the craziness with AI and living in a time of the singularity where we don't even know what's going to happen on the other side of ai. Right. We don't know if it's going to take over humanity. There's a lot of reasons why. It shows that it can be the case and there's a lot of reasons that show that it, it won't happen. But what do you choose to believe? So for me, I know, I, I just choose to believe that, that we're going in, in a better direction. I do have my, uh, my faith and my creator, and at the end of the day, if I'm wrong, and let's just say I depart from this earth, listen, it is what it is. I'm still, I believe that I'm going to a better place after. Right. So again, is your belief adding value to your life? Does it have utility? Is does it bring you more peace? Does it bring you more comfort? That, that's how you should go about your beliefs and always be on a quest for truth. Because when it's all said and done, truth is truth. Now, there are certain things that you can't quantify. There's certain things that you can't measure. However, truth is truth. So you always want to be on a quest for truth, but there's going to be roadblocks along the way where. You, you reach a point where it's like you can't really measure it. It's like the spiritual realm. You can't really measure the spiritual realm. You can't measure trauma. We have different manifestations of, of things that happen as, as a result of, of trauma. However, these are things that you can't necessarily quantify or measure. So what do you choose to believe? What makes the most sense, common sense will take you a very long way. So remember this information alone. Almost never. Creates change. There's a saying that ignorance on fire is much better than intellect on ice, ignorance on fire. If the how-tos were enough, we'd all be rich, sexy, and famous. It's not the how-tos, it's having that burning. Why it's, it's having that, that motivation, that, that inspiration that'll push you. Okay. Um, and the next life hack we have here. Your brain can't tell the difference between real and rehearsed experience. Visualization activates the same neural pathways as real action. That's why elite performers mentally rehearse success. It literally trains the nervous system for execution. So mental rehearsal, it's a big, big part of, of the journey. I know whenever I have to speak on, on stages around the world, and maybe I'm a little bit nervous, I'll, I'll do a mental rehearsal and I'll envision myself executing a dynamic speech. I mean, I used to visualize myself giving speeches. All the time I'd be in the shower, bathing, visualizing myself in an arena with thousands of people hearing me talk. And that process of mental rehearsal is, is super powerful. And you can do this honestly with every area of your life. Remember, the brain doesn't know the difference between what's real and what's not real, okay? And remember, you don't rise to your goals. You rise to what your mind has already practiced. Mental rehearsal visualization is essential and you can spend time every single morning. Imagine you spend 10 minutes a day just visualizing your future. I did this for an entire year. I had a community called the Dream Year Circle, and we did visualization every single morning for an entire year, and it was, it was profound, like a lot of people had. Incredible results just from the process of visualizing these things because it, it makes the dream more, more tangible in a sense. It's like you relive this moment over and over and over, and then you find that. Through throughout your day, throughout your week, throughout your month, a lot of the decisions that you make are decisions that are congruent with that very thing that you're visualizing. So it's very powerful. Over the weekend, we also did vision boards and vision boards are are powerful. I always encourage people at the beginning of the year to create a vision board, and it's essentially a board with pictures of things that you want to bring into fruition in your life. It could be a car, it could be a home, it could be. Your dream family or whatever, your dream body, but pictures of things that you want to make real in your life. Very powerful. All right, so let's jump into the meat and potatoes of this morning's Breakfast Club, and we're going to cover a few things. Uh, few. A few why's. So the first why is, why motivation is overrated. That's gonna be something that we cover, why information doesn't equal transformation and why people keep repeating the same year of life. Now you guys hear me mention all the time that we're a note taking community. You wanna take notes as if you're going to have to teach this information. That's how you're gonna get the most value if you're hopping on every single Tuesday with us. Make sure you're taking notes. I have people, one thing that that brings joy to my heart is when I have people show me their notes from the Breakfast Club and they've got these books. That are stacked with lots and lots of notes. I've had people come to me at my events or at somewhere where I'm speaking and they're showing me notebooks from four or five years ago. And I love that because when when you take notes, you're far more likely to retain the information. So treat it like you're going to school. This is a school of life now. Here's a really great quote. Most people aren't failing because they lack discipline. They're failing because they're operating on an outdated internal operating system. Okay, so it's not the idea of lacking discipline. It's your operating system. It's, it's the, the way you kind of, your, your mental model of the world, the way you think about the world, the way that you operate your habits. These things are all internal. So you want to orient your, your, your body and your brain so that it is conducive for what it is that you wanna bring into fruition Now. The real reason people don't change. So there's a few. One of the things is identity versus goals. So some people, for example, they'll set a, a goal to lose weight and. All the time, they'll lose the weight and then they'll pack the weight right back on. And many times it's due to the fact that they haven't really changed their identity. So they may not identify as someone who's very in shape, someone who's super fit, and they end up taking on the weight all. And there's a lot of other reasons. It could have been water weight, it could have been maybe they, they hit a stressful season of their life and they're kind of like. Eating to bring themselves comfort. I have a client right now who I'm working with specifically on, on their, on their, uh, you know, their weight loss goals. And, uh, again, a lot of it comes down to identity. It, it's, it's identity. It's, it's so many different things. It's like if you identify as someone who's a world class person, someone who is, let's say a professional, someone who's, who's a, a person of high merit, high value. Then you're gonna move very different than the, than the person who just settles, okay? The person who looks at themselves as just average. So you always wanna ensure that you do the identity work. And a lot of the ways that you can work on your identity also is the way that you dress your affirmations, words that you say to yourself on a consistent basis. So when I was working on my procrastination, I, I would always just tell myself that I'm always on time. I'm always on time, every time, and I always, I always execute. I'm a certified trigger puller. I, I used to love saying that I'm a certified trigger puller. I don't, I don't wait. I don't procrastinate. I'm not that. It was also like with my confidence. I, I used to tell myself thousands of times a day, I'm the most confident person I know. I'm the most confident person I know, just to reinforce my subconscious as, as, as that, that's a part of my identity, if that makes sense. Another thing is emotional attachment to the familiar emotional attachment to the familiar and law of familiarity is a serious thing because what happens is when something is familiar, even if it's a toxic environment or a toxic relationship that you're in, you'd much rather settle for the devil that you know than the devil you don't. Because you're in your mind, you're like, well, what if it's worse or what, what if, what if I, I self-sabotage. And it, it's amazing how sometimes people don't necessarily fear change. Right? Or, or they don't, they don't fear, um, the rejection. They, they fear success. Because the success is going to require them being a different person. They don't know if they're, they're even able to handle, handle it right, have the capacity for the success. I've had people that I've mentored over the years that were just fearful of. Leadership because they, they, they were afraid that because they would be, uh, in the spotlight, right? People would, you know, they may have imposter syndrome and people would see them for who they really are. And this is a, this is an important part to understand because when you're setting these goals, if you don't do the identity work, many times, you're not gonna follow through. You're not gonna stay consistent and follow through on those specific goals. So emotional attachment to the familiar is a big thing as well. Now, secondary benefits to staying stuck. A lot of people don't think about this there. There's secondary benefits to staying stuck. Now you may be wondering, well, what, what? What are the benefits of staying stuck? Well, staying stuck. Sometimes the benefit is, let's just say comfort. You may have temporary comfort and you're like. You're not being productive, but you can just Netflix and chill and you can just relax at home. You can eat the ice cream and have that temporary comfort, and there's, there's different benefits. Maybe the benefit of being accepted within your community is a secondary benefit that's in a way, keeping you stuck. I always talk about going into a season of spiritual selfishness, going into a season of who you raise the rent on. Sometimes we have to raise the rent on who's been occupying our mind rent free, and there's a lot of secondary benefits. Sometimes in relationships you may, you may love the fact that a person. Is always keeping you company, for example, but this person does not wanna do anything with their lives, and they're a really good friend of yours and they're always there. You have the companionship, but you also want the next level. And in a way, they're kind of bringing you down, right? You're wasting time. In, in some, some of your relationships. So it is important to do that, that personal inventory and just analyze your, your relationships, go into that season of spiritual selfishness where you make you a priority because you cannot feel from an empty cup. You have to take care of you if you're going to take care of those that you love. Another idea on why people don't change is the fear of losing belonging, and this is a super underrated topic. Losing belonging. Belonging is a big part of our human nature. We wanna feel like we're accepted, not rejected in our community, and that fear of losing that belonging is, is something that holds a lot of people back. But here's the thing, I I, I remember when, when I was, uh, you know, when I was growing up and I, I, I became a teenager. I had an idea that I was gonna be like the savior of my family and like get'em out the hood and, and do all these things. And, and I had this, this grand vision of being the one in my family to, to get everybody out the hood. And, and I remember. Encountering a lot of resistance during that time, and there were a lot of people that just weren't ready for that change. And I remember having a really good conversation with my uncle and, and he was just like, Josh, you have to go and you gotta, you gotta do, you, you gotta go out there and make yourself successful and, and accomplish things and, and you be the person. And once you arrive, you'll inspire those who are ready for change to do the same. And that's exactly the advice I took, and it was the best thing that I could have ever done with, with my life because a lot of people genuinely weren't ready for change. It's, it's scary. Not everybody has it in them to move to a different city, move to a different country, and I, I did, I did that, you know, I remember just moving and changing my environment and it made the biggest difference. Okay, so next we have. Some frameworks for change. So you, you want to, uh, kind of like look at different frameworks. Frameworks are like tools. Tools that you can use or strategies that you can have in place when you're looking to make change. Okay? So there's four layers. Of real change. Four layers, and I'm gonna go over them right now. The first one is awareness. Awareness. I always say the the first step to healing is awareness. Most people unfortunately though, stop there. They stop just at awareness. They don't actually execute, but you have to have awareness that you even need change in the first place or that you can change. The second thing is emotional ownership. Taking full responsibility. There's a really good book by, I think it's Jocko who wrote the book. It's a Navy Seal who wrote the book, extreme Ownership, and it's taking ownership of everything in your life and and also ownership for the way that you feel. When was the last time you took ownership of your emotions saying, you know what? My emotions don't happen outside of me. They happen inside of me. No one has the ability to steal your joy. You allow people to steal your joy, but no one that is your free will. No one could ever steal or, or your joy or make you feel some type of way you allow these things, so it is essential to take full ownership of your emotions. The third is environmental alignment. You have to engineer your environment, position yourself in a winner's world. So that your environment is conducive for the goals that you want to obtain. So let's just say for example, you're in an environment of people who are always drinking. If you're in an environment of people who are always drinking, you're far more likely to drink or you're going to be in an environment where people eat unhealthy all the time, you're naturally going to gravitate towards the people that you spend the most time with. It's like the good old saying, if you hang around nine broke people, you're bound to be the 10th. It's just the way it is. Law of association is a serious thing, so you want to engineer your environment so that it's optimal for what it is that you wanna accomplish. It's like, let's just say you wanna write a book. Well, how does your workspace look? The place that you work every single day, is it inspiring? Is there anything that you can do to engineer that environment to make it even better? The idea of pleasure stacking again, so you may have certain backdrop music that plays, you may wanna put a plant or something like that. But really being intentional about your environment, fostering a really great environment. And that's just not aesthetics. That's also the people in the environment. Number four is consistent identity based action. Consistent identity based action. So I'm really big on being in environments of opulence, of abundance. I like to go to very high vibrational. Areas. And most of the time I'm spending time in, in coffee shops. Like, that's kind of like my winner's world. Uh, for whatever reason. Uh, whenever I'm in coffee shops, I, I find myself being a lot more productive, a lot more focused, just being around other people who are working on things. It's super helpful. And when it comes to my. Identity hang around. I'm not going to be hanging around environments where people are just complacent and comfortable and let's just say doing things that are destructive. Okay. So that's a big part of, again, identity work. And your identity based action could also be, let's just say you, you identify as a fit person. Well always doing things that are in alignment with that, or you identify as. Now I'm, I'm a, I'm a podcaster, right? So because I, I do podcasting, a lot of my life is centered around just the podcasting space, networking, right? Doing things that are in alignment with that. So get very clear on what your identity is. Now the last thing that I wanna cover is the cost of not changing, and this is probably going to be the most important aspect of today's Breakfast Club session. The cost. Not changing. Think about this. There's a few things that, that it's costing you by not becoming the person who God intended you to be. The very first thing is the years lost. The years lost. How many years have gone by that you feel like we're just not fruitful? We're not in alignment. Years that are lost. Time is your most precious commodity is the most important thing that you have in this lifetime. Is, is your time, right? Because time we, we all have a limited amount of time, and how many years are you losing, right? Even this year, even, not even just years lost, but just days lost even. Why? Why would you continue to lose more and more days of living in alignment with who you were called to be? So that's, that's a big one. Losing the time. Another thing is relationships strained by not changing. There are very precious relationships in your life that you could potentially lose because you're not making the changes necessary. So relationships strained. It could be your children. Over time, you're losing time and you're, you're losing that, that precious time. Do you know by the time your children are 18 years old? I once saw a study that said, by the time your children are 18 years old, you would have exhausted over 90% of the in-person time. You'll leverage spend with them. Think about that. So it's, it's, it is a really good time to make those changes, especially when you have that excitement in the beginning of the year. This is a great time to get after it. Another thing is dreams delayed. Some of you think you have time. Listen, with the speed of technology, ai, all these different things, what are you waiting for? If you've wanted to launch that podcast, if you wanted to start that business, things are happening at a very fast pace. You need to get the ball rolling. Do not wait, because that opportunity may not be available a year from now, two years from now. There are a lot of people will, well, let me wait until the circumstances are right. Let me wait until like, no, it, it's not the right mindset to have time is moving and it's not, it's, it's father time is not very forgiving. You don't want to be that person that's just like, man, I wish I would have taken advantage of this when I did. I was just telling one of my mentees yesterday that I wish I had started my YouTube journey a lot earlier. For those of you who have aspirations to get on YouTube, listen, start your YouTube channel now. Now, I mean, if, if you need the, the inspiration, you need the coaching through it, like hop on a five day challenge with me, we'll get that thing going because. Now is the time to start. There are so many creators that like, if you're starting now, you're years and years kind of behind in a sense. You may think that you have time, but even like starting on social media now, it's not the same as starting on social media five years ago. You've gotta get on it and you, you, you have to speed up the process. The beautiful, the beautiful thing is this, I remember learning about Einstein's theory of relativity. Years and years ago, I, I probably was in the seventh grade the first time I had heard a gentleman talk about it, and he says, according to Einstein's theory of relativity, when it comes to time, there's, there's no way to really slow down time per se, like here on earth. But in, in a way, the, the only way you could technically kind of slow down time, and I shouldn't even say say technically, but, but think about this, if you move faster. You can kind of slow down time. What, what do I mean by that? If you wanna, if you wanna slow down time, simply move faster. Do you know that if you move at the speed of light, like away from the earth, there's this concept called, uh, time dilation and, and it's all relative. So when life is just happening, think about it. If you just move faster. It's the only way you can kind of slow down time. And when we say slow down time, we're talking about just kind of catching up with the world in a sense. So you just move faster. It's like the idea that it's not about the years in your life, it's the life in your years. You can live in entire lifetime in five years because you just moved a lot faster. Okay, so everything is is relative when it comes to time in a sense. So again, the only way you can kind of slow down time is, is moving faster. So in your case it may be all out, massive action on whatever it is that you wanna do. All out, massive action. And you may, for example, want to lose 20 pounds. Well, do you have to wait an entire year or is it true that some people lose 20 pounds in one month? Now, some of you health experts are probably saying, well, that's not the healthiest thing in the world. Well. The reality is some people, they, they speed up the process. And I'm not talking about ozempic or anything like that. I'm talking about like, for example, if you put on a sweatsuit, like a, something that makes you sweat. One of my clients right now, I'm working with him on, on weight loss and we have him just sweating a lot more. Right? And that can be a way that you speed up the process limiting certain foods and, and doing everything in your power to speed the process up. Having some urgency, having some pep in your step, and that can be the case for so many things. You don't have to wait an entire year to write a book. You can write a book technically, I mean, in just a few days. So it's about moving faster if you wanna slow down the time. So if you feel like you're late to the game, it's all good. Just move faster. Move faster because you got some catching up to do. Next is kids watching patterns. Repeat. Right, and we're talking about your kids, or maybe you, you, you're an uncle or a grand father or, or, you know, auntie, uncle. You may be someone's godparent, but think about these young children that are constantly watching you repeat these patterns and they're learning from those, from those patterns, right? So if you wanna be a positive influence on the world, you, you have to make that change. You have to make that change because the apple doesn't fall far from the tree as we oftentimes hear. Your children, they're gonna be a, a direct extension of you nine outta 10 times. So being the best that you can be for the sake of them. It's, it's, it's interesting how there, there are people that they want the best for their kids, but they're not willing to change themselves. It's like, how could you possibly want the best for your children, but you're not willing to just be the very best version of you. I would say that if you truly wanna serve your children and raise good children, then focus on being the best version of you because they're gonna follow your lead, they're gonna follow your example. Okay. And it's, it's like whenever I see obese children, for example, and I know this is a bit of a touchy subject, but it, it breaks my heart because it doesn't have to be that way. And of course there's sometimes these children may have a certain disease or something that's a completely different ball game, but nine outta 10 times when I see an obese child, I look at their parent and their parent is obese and their parent is probably allowing the child to just eat whatever the child wants. So again, the child is a direct extension of that parent. So it is, it is important to lead by example, right? You should be okay. You should focus so much on your personal development that you are okay with your child even ending up very similar to you. I always oftentimes hear people say, well, I don't want, I want my kid to be better than me. Why does that have to be the case? Yeah. I think, yeah, it's great for your kid to be better than you, but what if your kid ended up like you? Would you be okay with that? If your child ended up being very similar to you, would you be okay with that? And if the answer is no. Then you've got some work to do and that's okay. And if you feel like you're a little bit behind, just move faster. Have some pepper in your step. Have some urgency in 2026. Because Father time waits on no man. Ladies and gentlemen, or no woman. Ladies and gentlemen, breakfast is officially served. If you got value from today's session, drop a v in the comments, drop any comment in the, in the comments. I, I always read through all of the comments, so I appreciate, for those of you who like comments, share, tag, subscribe. All of that good stuff. I really appreciate it and uh, looking forward to seeing some of you guys this weekend and I know we have all kinds of events happening over the course of the weekend, so looking forward to seeing many of you. Next week, we'll be back at the Breakfast Club. Also, if you want more information, again on the Five Day Challenge where you get to work with me one-on-one for five days over the co over the course of a week, just DM me the word challenge. I'll be more than happy to send you more information on that. Take Care, breakfast is served and I'll be seeing you all next week. God bless everyone.