Why Most People Never Become Who They're Capable of Being

Transcript

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Welcome to the Dream Nation Breakfast Club, brought to you by The Journey Podcast. I'm your host, Josh Valentine. Excited to be here with you all as always, and we're about to get this thing kickstarted. Welcome. Welcome. It was really nice seeing a lot of you guys. I had two events this past week back to back. One of them I was speaking at, which was Pod Fest. It's, one of the leading podcasting conferences in the world. And it was out in Orlando. So I got to see a lot of you, phenomenal people over there. And then I had another conference in Arizona, that I got to see a lot of you guys from our business community as well. And I am finally back home. Happy to be back with the family, of course. And, we're about to get this thing started here. So today we're going to be covering why most people never become who they are capable of being. So it's gonna be a really great topic. And, I think that we can all relate at some point in time in our lives with being in a place where, we're not really living up to our potential. We don't feel like we're, maximizing on who we can truly become as people. And, I felt like this topic would be appropriate for today, especially as we're in the beginning of the year. I know, if I'm not mistaken, I think we officially passed. The National Quitters Day. So I always talk about National Quitters Day, how, most people around the world, they set these new year resolutions and, the National Quitters Day is the day of the month in January where the vast majority of the population pretty much have put all of those dreams on the back burner and went about their lives, the way they've been doing the last several years. Hopefully that's not the case for any of you in this community, of course. And, we're big on just keeping each other accountable. We have a lot of challenges that we do throughout the year just for accountability and, this is just a phenomenal community. So if you guys don't mind, drop a light comment, share, tag someone who can get value from this. the Breakfast Club is streamed on many platforms. So whether you're on Facebook, Instagram, or YouTube, or maybe you're tuning into the audio podcast welcome. If this is your very first time this is where we gather together. Every single week. And it was interesting. I was at one of the pod fest meetings that, that was going on, or the one of the sessions that was going on. It had us talk about, or think about our specific tribe, like the people that we typically attract with our communities. And if there's a specific type of person I would say that we attract here on the Breakfast Club is definitely people who are like personal development nerds, people who are really into self-improvement, personal development people who do not want to conform to the status quo. People who are not just wanting to live the typical nine to five life. They wanna pursue their dreams, they want to go about. Life on their terms, right? And that's typically who we attract on the Breakfast Club. It's people who really want to live a life of freedom, people who are into entrepreneurship, personal development. And if that's the case for you, then welcome. You're definitely a part of the right family here. So let's get this show on the road. We're going to get this thing kickstarted with again, why most people never become who they're truly capable of being. Most people die with unrealized potential, not because they weren't talented, but because they never became the person required to use that talent. Now, think for a second, for those of you who are on live with us right now. If you had a talent, drop a comment on what you think is your talent. Many of us have many different talents, but if you have any particular talent that comes to mind what is that? Now, it may be for you, maybe you have a talent with your voice. It may be a talent with having really great organizational skills or you may be talented with a specific craft, right? But we all have talents and for those of you who are probably thinking maybe I don't have any talents, it's probably not that you don't have any talents, it's probably just you haven't tried enough things. I find that a lot of people. They simply just don't try enough things. I had one of my really good friends who I was with over the weekend in Arizona. He had mentioned how his son had become a horse trainer. Now, keep in mind, his son, my, my friend is originally from the hood in New York City, right? And he moved his family to Ocala. And Ocala is like one of the capitals for everything. Horses and his son, just because they were living in Ocala eventually had an opportunity to work with horses and become a horse trainer. And he loves that job. Now, the reason why I bring up this story is because if my friend had not moved this family to Ocala, his son would never have been introduced to something that he's really passionate about today. And I find that's the case for most people. Most people just live lives where they don't explore enough, they don't see enough do enough try enough. And it's a big reason why they haven't discovered their purpose. So I always recommend do things that you typically wouldn't do. Let's just say you grew up in the city. You're probably not thinking to do anything in the countryside, right? You're probably not thinking to do things that aren't really familiar with the environment that you grew up in. So it is really great to just go out there and explore and just find different things that you're passionate in. And you, you'd be surprised, like for my friend's son who was a city boy to now being a horse trainer. Who would've thought, right? So go out there, explore. If you haven't really discovered what your talents are or what you're really passionate about in life, or what your purpose is it may simply be that you just have not tried enough. Things. So when it comes to talent, I know for me, talent was, a few things that come to mind was sports. So I always had a gift for competing athletically. That was a big part of my life. However, sometimes you utilize your talents for a chapter of your life or a season of your life. And for me, that was definitely the ca the case. I played football. I wrestled, I ran track and pole vaulted in high school. Then I went to college, played some football in college, but eventually that chapter came to an end and I had to utilize different talents. And that's when I discovered just my gift for speaking, right? My gift for educating people, coaching people. And if I had never. Just went out there and explored and experimented with different things. I never would have encountered that part of my life, because I wasn't really coaching and speaking back in my early days, right? Eventually I got into entrepreneurship and that's what led me to it. So that's why I encouraged so many young people, especially, go out there and explore and try different things, and you'd be amazed at the talents that you end up discovering that are within you. Now, this episode isn't gonna be about motivation. It's simply about truth. It's about the invisible forces that quietly keep people stuck for years. Okay, so here's some powerful questions. How much of your potential are you actually using? If you had to put a percentage on the your potential. Think about that for a second here in the Breakfast Club, we like to reflect, we like to just challenge people's thinking. And this is a really good question to ponder, right? How much of your potential, if you had to put a percentage on it, are you using 50%? Are you using 80%, 90%? How much are you genuinely using? I was reflecting on this earlier this morning man, how much of my potential am I actually using? And I do a lot of different things, but I wouldn't say I'm using a hundred percent. I don't think anybody is. I think we always have another level. Now here's another question. If nothing changes, who will you be in five years? It's a great question. If nothing changes. Who will you be in five years? And I remember learning years ago on my entrepreneurial journey, there was a saying that if basically you wanna look at the last five years of your life and when you look at the last five years of your life, and if you don't really change anything, it's probably what the next five years are going to look like. Okay. So it is important to do that self inventory. Take self inventory to really assess where you are in your life, what's working, what's not working, and just try something different In order to get different, sometimes you have to do different. Now the next thing I'm wanna cover is the illusion of potential. The illusion of potential. Why people think they are on the way, but they actually aren't. Sometimes we know we have potential, right? So you're on the come up and you know that you're talented, but there's a how can I explain it? There's a lot of people in the world that have so much potential, so much talent, but end up wasting that potential and wasting that talent because in their mind they have all this potential and they think, oh yeah, one day, right? I'm going to utilize this potential. And it just never happens. They're just head in the clouds thinking that the potential is enough and it's just not. You have to follow that potential with execution. So the one thing you have to understand is that potential feels good because it requires no action. It's just potential, right? Potential really means nothing until you actually put it into practice. So it, it feels good knowing, okay, I got a lot of potential, a lot of talent. I'm gifted. However, it doesn't require any action. Now people oftentimes confuse knowing with doing so in your mind again you're head in the clouds, you're wrapped up in the idea of knowing, but you're actually not doing okay Or you get caught up in the idea of I could be, it becomes a psychological comfort blanket, right? I could be this and you never, ever follow through. So remember, this potential is the most dangerous drug in the world because it lets you feel special without being disciplined. You have everybody in your family or your friends growing up, and they're like, you have so much potential. They're so gifted, they're so talented and your head gets bigger than it should be, and it requires no discipline. You're just validated based off the potential. But you've gotta be careful with that because you can just sit there and bask in the idea of having all of this potential, but do nothing about it. So think about the talented people, for example, who never commit. I know playing football I played football with a lot of guys who were absolutely remarkable, super, super talented. But we'd go to the gym and they'd just be sitting down, right? Thinking to themselves, oh I don't need a workout, right? I'm already good. I don't need a workout. I see that happen all the time where they're lazy. They don't feel like they have to run the extra laps or they don't have to put in the extra work because the talent is enough. And it's unfortunate. I see a lot of young guys stifle their potential simply because they think that it's enough. And for those of you who are in the sporting world, you know exactly what I'm talking about. You'll have someone with the ITC syndrome, the I'm too Cool syndrome and think that, oh, I don't have to do any of that. So it, you gotta be careful when it comes to that, especially for those of you who are athletes. Maybe you're starting out on your journey and or you have children who are athletes and they think that they don't have to put in the extra work because their talent is enough and it's super important to call them out on that. Next we have, you have smart people who also never execute. I remember my. One of my mentors, he would always talk about how a lot of people have more degrees than a thermometer, but ignorance on fire is better than intellect on ice, ignorance on fire. And you oftentimes hear in the entrepreneurial world that the C and D students oftentimes are the ones who hire the A and B students because the C and D students tend to be the more entrepreneurial types, right? Your intellect, your logic, it's great, but it's simply not enough. You have to be someone who executes. So there are tons of people out there who think that they're smarts will get them to where they are, and they end up being disappointed in a major way. Now, another set of people are people who are waiting to feel ready, waiting to feel ready. And one thing that I can tell you is that the time is never going to be right. It's never gonna be optimal or ideal to just take massive action. Don't wait for the perfect moment. If you wait for the perfect moment, you're gonna get passed up by the people who are just getting after it. I can assure you that a lot of people are waiting. It's I'll hear people come up to me these days and Josh I wanna start a podcast as well. I wanna get into speaking. And in my mind I'm like what are you waiting for? You wanna get into it? Do you understand that technology, ai, all of these different enhancements in modern day society, it's happening super, super fast and it's not gonna wait on you. This is the time to take all out. Massive action. For those of you who have considered getting into entrepreneurship, you do not wanna wait another year, two years, three years. The best time to start would've been yesterday or five years ago. Or 10 years ago. So you have to get the ball rolling. Do not just wait for when all of the circumstances are optimal. Next is fear disguised as logic. This is big fear disguised as logic. And I remember I had a mentor a life coach that I had hired in the beginning of my entrepreneurial journey. I was in my early twenties, and I remember I always talk about this on the Breakfast Club. One of the things that my life coach at that time had mentioned to me was I was hiding behind the personal development. And she was right. I was hiding behind the personal development because in my mind I'm like I'm learning all of these amazing things. I'm personally developed, I'm reading all these books, and it felt like progress. But really I was hiding behind the real work that was going to get me to where I wanted to be in business. And that was going through the rejection. So you don't want to be that person that is hiding behind your logic. Telling yourself, oh you have paralysis of overanalysis. I had met with a gentleman probably about a year ago, and man, this guy was super smart. He was an engineer and he had all of these ideas, all of these smart things that could have been implemented in business and all of that. But he just was caught up in paralysis of overanalysis. He was in his head so much that it was preventing him from actually making things happen in business. So again, ignorance on fire is better than intellect on ice. You have to really go out there and make things happen. Oftentimes, when you see people who are very wealthy, they're not necessarily the most sophisticated people. They're not they're scrappy. They're go-getters. They're people who are hustlers, people who are gonna go out there and make it happen. Not people who are just there reading every instruction or every handbook. So this is very important now. This is these are some of the ways that fear hides. Okay? Now the first one is I'm waiting for the right time. As we just mentioned, I'm waiting for the right time, and you can sit there and wait for the right time. I'm gonna let you know right now and I want you to know that this is a simple reminder that it's never going to be the right time, or rarely I should say. Let me not say never, but it's rarely going to be the right time. The next is I need more clarity. So in your mind, you need more information, you need more clarity, you need a sign or whatever. And really, it's, again, hiding behind the fear. Next is, once things settle down, I hear this a lot. I got a lot going on right now. Listen, I don't know about y'all, but life always has things going on. There's always something going on. It's always, if it's not this, it's another thing. How many of you can relate to that? You, throughout your life, there's always something going on. One minute it's, you gotta move to another place. The next minute you're going through job changes. The next minute someone's having a baby. The next minute there's the loss of a loved one. The next minute it's a health crisis. There's always something. So don't just wait until things settle down because that's just life. It may settle down, but it may not. Another thing is, oh, I'm just being real realistic. Realistic. Now, what does that, what does realistic even mean? Because you may feel, for example I don't have a supportive spouse and I have three children, or I'm a single mom or I have this going on or that going on. But listen, I can tell you countless stories of people who were in your shoes, who are figuring it out, who have no excuses. So that's why it's really good to. Go to events, go to or look up online people who are figuring it out at all costs. I was watching a documentary is really good. It was on the story of Noble. So for those of you who are familiar with Noble restaurants, it's like a luxurious Japanese sort of fusion restaurant. And it was named after the Chef Noble, a guy from Japan who went to Peru and fused a lot of Peruvian cuisine, which is Peruvian food. Is one of my favorite. Cuisines is Peruvian food. And I absolutely love it. Very versatile. And the thing about the Noble's journey is he infused a lot of Peruvian cuisine with Japanese cuisine and the aesthetics and everything like that. And this brother went through so many different challenges, so many different challenges from bad business relationships. He had one of his restaurants, he ended up having to move back to Japan. And all of his friends or all of his friends, his family, none of them would even take his calls because they thought that he was going to ask them for money, right? How crazy is that? You leave your country, you take a chance, right? And move to another country to establish. Your traditions from your home country. He starts getting some success. Ends up having a bit, a bad business relationship, moves back to Japan. Now, nobody wants to mess with you. Nobody, people are thinking you're asking him for a handout. And he was struggling. He had a family and he had to figure things out. Eventually, he gets another opportunity to go to Alaska. And in Alaska his restaurant burns down. His restaurant burns down like he was at the point of contemplating suicide. That's how bad things had gotten. And he had to make another move and ended up moving to California, if I'm not mistaken. And finally he had his breakaway success. But this brother, him and his wife were like literally sleeping in the back room of the restaurant and running the restaurant. And he was just going after it. And he had every reason. To talk about what was realistic or waiting until things settled down. But the brother kept pressing forward and just trying different things and adapting to whatever circumstances he was dealt with. And eventually he had his breakaway success, but he had every reason to quit. Every re reason to give in, and throw in the towel. But he continued to persevere. And there's a big reason. That's a big reason why Noble is the restaurant that it is today. It's world renowned. It's in all the major cities around the world, and it's a luxurious brand, and now they're venturing into hotels and all kinds of stuff. So it's incredible. But it starts with a decision. You've gotta be relentless. You have to continue to persevere, and you can't give in to any excuses. It's never gonna be the right time. It's never necessarily going to be a realistic dream. If the dream isn't, if the dream doesn't scare you, it's simply not big enough. The dream is supposed to scare you. It's supposed to not seem realistic. Me retiring from the workforce when I was 24 years old for my six figure career was not realistic. It was not it didn't make sense logically, like I had to take a major pay cut. I don't even think I was making$500 a month consistently with my business when I had first. Left the workforce. But I took a chance and I had the faith and it, nothing about it was realistic. So the moral of the story is whatever dream you have, just know that it's never gonna be the right time. You're never gonna have a hundred percent clarity. The, you don't wanna wait until you settle down. And you definitely don't want to move forward just because it's realistic. So understand this fear doesn't scream, it whispers. It's those subtle whispers, those whispers on the wind, those little things. It's not something that, it's like you're fearful in the moment. No it's living a life of fear. Okay. And you oftentimes hear that fear is an acronym for false expectations appearing real. You may have all this fear in your head of what can actually happen if you do move forward, but again, it's just you. You have all of these reasons to, to think that's the reason why this is going to happen. I'm gonna go bankrupt. Why do you think you're gonna go bankrupt? You're probably thinking that because of all the reasons why you're gonna go bankrupt, but how about all the reasons why you're going to be successful? What you focus on tends to expand in your life, so you have to put your focus on something. Why not put it towards things that are actually conducive to the result that you're looking for? Now fear also pretends to be responsibility. Sometimes you think that you're being responsible. So again, I could have looked at my journey with my six figure career. I could have said, you know what? Let me be responsible and hold onto these benefits. I may need this health coverage, I may need this pension, right? And all of this. And I remember the company that I was working for had this package that if you worked a certain amount of years, I think you had to work five years to get vested. And I think I was like year four or something like that. So I could have stuck it out to get vested in their whole pension. But again. I let go of this idea of being responsible and for me it was a big deal leaving college as a brother from the hood who went to college, first person in his family to go off and do the college thing. And now I was making six figures. I had the benefits, the pension, the security, all of that stuff. Everything was set right? Imagine being a young 20 something year old or in your early twenties and you're making what doctors and lawyers would make at that age. And I had every reason to say let me be responsible and lemme not screw this up. But success oftentimes doesn't look like that. It's a little messy, right? It's a little, it's a little uncertain. It just know that fear also pretends to be patients. Sometimes you're like let me be patient. Let me just, let me wait. Let me wait on God. You oftentimes hear spiritual people say that, and nothing wrong with that, but just make sure that you're not hiding behind that. Make sure that's not a justification for not taking action. Like you have this justification in your head let me just wait for a sign. Let me wait for confirmation. And you tend to live your life like that. You've gotta be careful because again, you can be hiding behind all of these different reasons and justifications for not taking action. Now, most people aren't afraid of failure. They're afraid of becoming visible. They're afraid of the success. It's not always the fear of failure. Sometimes it's just like I, I always share when I started doing the Breakfast Club originally, I was just sharing this in a private group. It was in a private group because I was fearful of being trolled like online. I would always see people's comments and I don't know why, but in the beginning stages of my journey, it freaked me out. The idea of having people put some crazy, reckless comments on my posts. And if someone has taken the time today to actually listen and taking time out of their day to leave a comment, by all means go for it. You are more than welcome to. But that's a part of the process. And it is very scary sometimes when you're just putting yourself at the forefront. You're wearing your heart on your sleeve. And I remember hearing a commencement addressed by this world renowned artist, and he said, when you get to the point in your life. Where you're performing or you're doing something, you're creating. And when you get to that point where you feel absolutely naked and vulnerable and exposed, you said that's when you're getting it right. That's when you're getting it right. If you wanna put out great work, understand that you will have to put that work and your reputation on the line that comes with the territory. And I can't tell you time and time again, like there's so many moments where I've had to go and speak on stages. Even at pod. This was a brand new community I had, I've never, these people have never met me. I've never met them. And I'm over here having to be on stage for 30 minutes and just teaching them. And in the beginning it was a bit nerve wracking because I'm like. And I was already on the last day of the event, so this was a a 3 0 4 day event. And I'm literally on the last day, late afternoon, and everybody was already depleted of their energy after being there for so many days. And I had to really engage the audience. And I was super, nervous just getting ready. I was trying to, I'm over here setting up my clicker and I'm trying to not have the audience see my hands shaking a little bit because I'm just like, oh gosh, this damn clicker's not working and I have to go up here and I have to calm myself and remind myself like, Hey you, you're not new to this. You at the end of the day. You just, you have to understand that you have value, and there's nothing about being nervous that serves the world. You just being fearful of performing, fearful of delivering your work. It does nothing for anybody. So you have to put yourself in a place of service. It's not about you. Sometimes we get caught up about the way we're gonna look, right? Embarrassing ourselves. But really the work is not for you. It's for those that you serve. And sometimes it is helpful to remind yourself of that. Okay? It's about the people that you serve more than anything. And you have to put your reputation on the line. And sometimes guess what? You're gonna, you're gonna, I saw some speakers, man. They were delivering their talk. And they, some of them would blank out and forget what they were going to say. And you know what? That's humble pie. But that's a part of the journey. Sometimes you will have those moments where you just freeze up and you don't even know. You you don't even, you can't even remember your name. That's how damn nervous you are. It's like Jim Rowan would oftentimes say you'll walk to the podium and you'll get out your seat, and it's like your mind stayed in the seat you left your mind behind because you're so nervous. I remember my very first keynote speech was at a at my old high school and I had given a keynote speech to my football team. And I was I was, this was years after I graduated and I was giving a talk to the football team and I was so nervous throughout the day. I literally hired my friend to be my chauffeur for the day so that I can drink a bottle of wine before going to the I didn't wanna drink and drive of course. So I had my friend literally drive me to the event and that way I can drink a bottle of wine because of how nervous I was. It was so nerve wracking. That was the beginning of my journey. And people look today like, man, you're so confident, but you have no idea. There's so many moments where I'd be super nervous before and still to this day it happens, but eventually it turns into nervous excitement. You, you get good and you know you're gonna deliver. You might be a little bit nervous, but the nervousness and the excitement go hand in hand. And I think that's when you reach the point where you're getting it right. I think it's good to be nervous sometimes because it means that you care if you're a little bit nervous about speaking on stage or following through, or creating art and having the art on display, it shows that you give a damn. So it's, it is actually a good thing. Okay. Now next we're gonna talk about why comfort is the real enemy. Comfort. And I remember a mentor of mine would oftentimes say, your comfort zone is your broke zone. You gotta be real careful if you're in a position of being comfortable, because sometimes, and I see this all the time you'll have people who become massively successful and they end up self-sabotaging because of the success. The success makes them comfortable. I coach people all the time that they were rock stars when they first started their journey. And then over the years they get very complacent, very comfortable, and it they're not as scrappy as they used to be. They don't have as much grit as they used to. So comfort can be a very dangerous thing. Now understand that we're not talking about laziness, we're just talking about comfort. Oftentimes you'll have people who are comfortable, where they're not naturally lazy. They're not lazy people. They probably have had a lot of success, but the success brought comfort. Comfort could be a major trap. So just know this. Comfort numbs, urgency, comfort, numbs, urgency. Oftentimes, you ain't gonna have that pep in your step, you're not gonna have that sense of urgency because you're comfortable. You're like, you know what? I'll get around to it tomorrow. How many of you can relate drop a one in the comments. If you can relate to a point in your life where you got comfortable and that comfort prevented you from taking action or preventing you from having urgency, it's like there's nothing more frustrating when you have children, for example, and your child, you understand that they need to have more pep in their step, and they're not just, they're not on top of it. They're not being go-getters, and you know that's what it's, that's what's required, especially in today's marketplace. You've gotta be a go-getter. Okay? And comfort also creates false safety. False safety, and I've been through this too. I'd have a few clients, and these clients are spending more than on me than their mortgage. And then guess what? Those contracts come to an end and you end up being in a position where you're very uncomfortable, okay? And you have this false safety because you think that these clients are gonna last forever. But oftentimes that's just not the case. In fact, if you're really good, you shouldn't have clients that are with you for a lifetime if you're coaching them, right? The idea should be coaching people so that they are self-reliant so that they are really good. It's like you don't wanna be the, for example, a lot of therapists they'll give a client therapy with the intention of that client being with them for years upon years, right? And it's like they're getting paid. It's good for the therapist, but not necessarily the best thing for the client. You want to. Train and coach people to be independent, to have to be independent from, let's say, relying or being dependent on a coach or therapist, for example, right? If you're really good, the intention should be to train up whoever it is that you're mentoring so that they can do it themselves. There's, it's like the saying I remember hearing this years ago that when the student is ready, the teacher will appear, right? Many of you have heard of that. However, there's a second part of that I once heard that I thought was phenomenal. It said, when the student is ready, the teacher will appear. But when the student is really ready, the teacher will disappear. And why is that so profound? Because the teacher, if the teacher's really good, they understand that the student, the mentee could end up becoming dependent on the mentor or the teacher. So you want to be the teacher that mentors people and helps them on their journey on becoming independent from you. Okay? Next. Comfort also keeps people busy, but not growing busy in your mind. You've got all these things going on, but busy doesn't mean productive. Sometimes we get caught up in busy work, but not productive work. And you always have to really analyze, okay what am I doing? And identify those lead or lag indicators that will tell you whether or not you're making progress, whether or not what you're doing is moving the needle for where you need to be Now. When it comes to growth oftentimes feel, feels chaotic. Okay? It's not pretty. Growth is oftentimes messy. You have growing pains. It's very uncomfortable. Why is that? Because you're probably navigating in unchartered waters. You're probably having to become a person that you never were before. Some, sometimes it's gonna require a lot of discipline, and you're probably not used to that level of discipline. So it gets very chaotic at times. And comfort oftentimes feels controlled, right? Comfort feels controlled. It, it has, you have this false sense of controlling your mind. When you're comfortable potential lives on the other side of discomfort, it lives on the other side of discomfort. So that's why you oftentimes hear that your dreams begin at the edge of your comfort zone at the edge. And if you had to rate I'm curious, for those of you who are on right now, if you had to rate your level of comfortability, right? And one of the speakers at the event in Arizona I attended she, she spoke about choosing your heart, right? Because the reality is life is pretty damn hard. Let's call it for what it is. I know some of you're like, oh, you gotta be careful with your words or Right. Life is what you make it. Listen, I've been all around the world and life is pretty damn hard for most people. Okay? The vast majority. And the thing about it is whether you work a nine to five or you're pursuing your dream or you're single or you're married or whatever, right? Like you're a celebrity, you're an average Joe. Life is going to be hard either way. The question is, what are you going to, what hard are you going to choose? That's really what it comes down to. What heart are you going to choose? You have to choose your heart. I understand that my, my path, for example, I'm a father, I'm a community leader. I have so many different aspects of my life. I have entrepreneurial journey. I don't work for anyone else, and it's very hard. Sustaining all of that. Preserving all of that is very difficult. However, I also understand that subjecting yourself to a job that you hate is also hard. Living a life where you have no meaning. Living a life where you feel like you're not living up to your potential. Having the drive through traffic every day, only getting two weeks vacation a year, that's also hard. Having to deal with a boss that you despise, that's also very hard. So you have to choose your hard. Which one is it going to be? Is it the hard of uncertainty? Is it the hard of monotony? Is it the heart of. Lack of purpose. You have to make a decision one day on which hard are you going to choose and which one is worth it for you. The one thing that I do know is that on this journey, when it comes to doing hard things, sometimes the hard is bearable when you have meaning attached to it. So if you do, if you're doing what you love, for example, with the story of Noble, right? When I spoke about Noble just a few minutes ago one of the things that he was very intentional about was delivering a world-class experience for the customer. He was very adamant about the customer having a great experience. However, most days he just broke even. He wasn't killing it in terms of profit. However, he spoke about how he was still happy. He was still happy because he was doing what he was born to do. It was not necessarily about the money. It was about making customers happy. And oftentimes that, that it looks like that in life. It's, you may not be killing it financially, but you have happiness because you're doing what you were born to do and you understand that it is a journey, and at some point in time, the pendulum is going to swing. At some point in time, you will reach abundance. But being happy is going to be one of the biggest things for you on your journey to success. Because it's you know what, you may not have so much certainty, but at least you're doing what you were born to do. You're living your God-given purpose. Next we have identity. We're gonna talk a little bit about identity here and the invisible ceiling. Okay. Identity is oftentimes an invisible ceiling because. It drives you subconsciously and unconsciously. It drives you in a lot of ways that you probably wouldn't even recognize. Okay? And this is probably going to be the deepest part of today's session. So here's the core truth. People don't fail because of lack of ability, okay? People do not fail because of a lack of ability. Oftentimes, they fail because their identity can't hold the next level. Think about that. Let that marinate for a bit. What if you're not failing because of your ability? What if you're simply failing because your identity cannot hold the next level of your life? So for example, when I started coaching, initially I was coaching a lot of people on my level. People who probably were where I was just a few short years ago. And at some point in time I realized that if I'm gonna coach the world's top performers, like I have to do a lot of identity work. I have to make sure that I'm worthy of providing this value or I'm worthy of charging what it is that I would charge. And a lot of it was identity. And I'm telling you, identity is going to drive you and propel you to heights that you could never you never thought would be possible. You have to do the identity work. You have to believe that you're worthy of the next level. And a lot of people sabotage that sabotage themselves because they're so caught up in who they were, and it prevents them from getting to where they want to be. So an example could be wanting wealth, but identifying as simple. I remember years ago I used to identify as more like a minimalist, right? Or an essentialist. I learned the concepts of minimalism, essentialism, mini minimalism, more so being, living on very minimal things like just very minimalist lifestyle where you don't require any excess or anything like that. And then essentialism is really living a life. I evolved into essentialism, where you have the essentials for what it is that, that you're working on in your life. However, I realized that. These mental models of the world. This paradigm that I was living in was preventing a lot of the abundance from flowing in. And I can tell by the environments, like I look back at pictures of my journey and I see a lot of environments that I would be in, or my standards were a lot lower than they are today. You couldn't catch me you, you wouldn't catch me at all. Like entertaining a lot of the environments that I would be in back in the day, or even the people that I would be around. And I remember when I made that shift, when I started to understand the power of your paradigm and the way you see the world and your standards for your life. If there's anything in fact that I would wanna leave behind for my children, it would be the idea of raising their standards, having very high standards. Because you are not getting your wants. You're simply getting your standards. Think about it, what is a should for you and what is a must for you? There's certain things like, yeah, I sh probably should hang around more people like that or be in those environments, but what if it's, I must be in those en environments or I must be around people that have this MI mindset. Okay. And when you should become a must, that's when you take action. Okay. You have to make it a must. Nex is wanting leadership, but identifying as nice, right? Nice. And I had came across a a post the other day on social media that said, you wanna be a good man, not a nice man. The goal should be to be a good man, not a nice man, a good woman. Not a nice woman per se. And what does that even mean? It means not getting caught up in the disease to please not being someone who's just so wrapped up on. Pleasing people being a people pleaser, being a yes man, yes, woman, where you're always just wanting to live on other people's terms. Okay? You have to focus on being a great leader, not just a nice person. Okay? Now, does it help to be nice as a leader? Yeah, it can. However, sometimes people take your kindness for weakness and it could actually affect your organization if you're not firm, and I see this happen all the time. In fact I'll have organizations that bring me on simply because you can't be a prophet in your own land, and they need someone from the outside to basically make things happen within the company. Happens all the time. So you want to be mindful of that. Hey, leadership is not always about being nice. If you look at some of the greatest leaders on earth, whether it was an Elon Musk and maybe it's debatable for you or a Steve Jobs, right? These aren't necessarily the nicest people. However they make things happen. Okay. Now, do you have to be an a-hole or a douche bag to be a leader? No, not necessarily. You have a phenomenal leaders like Richard Branson who are great with people, right? But it just depends. Sometimes leadership is situational, depending on the organization that you're leading. If you talk to a lot of the industrialists during their time, they probably were not the nicest men that were building the nation at that time. Okay. Sometimes you may have to, as a woman, be a certain way in the marketplace, right? Because you don't want anybody to walk all over you. And there are some phenomenal leaders that are women that, guess what? They're not the nicest because it's WW with the organization that they're leading. Maybe it is male dominated. They have to be a little bit more masculine. They can't be as nice. They have to be firm and strong in order to be taken seriously. And now thankfully we live in a world that is being more and more accepting of female leadership, which is great because some of the greatest leaders in the world are females, right? Some of the heads of nations today are females, and they're phenomenal, right? But it's not because they're just super nice. Okay? So understanding that part of the equation is essential as well. Now, wanting confidence, but identifying as quiet, right? Being a quiet person, being a timid person, being a passive person. How in the world are you going to become confident if you're holding onto this identity of being super nice, super quiet, right? So confidence. Sometimes, like I remember my mentor would say, if you want to just. Give off a more confident aura. Sometimes it's just helpful speaking louder, speaking faster, speaking louder and faster, just to force the confidence out of you. Okay? So that also helps from time to time. Now, you can't outperform the story you believe about yourself. You're not going to outperform the story you believe about yourself. So having the right story, the right narrative about who you are is essential. So here's a shift. New results require a new identity altogether. My question to you is, who do you have to become in this next season of your life when it comes to identity? If you're gonna lead the people that you're gonna lead, who do you have to become? What has to shift when it comes to your identity? This isn't necessarily being a different you. You don't wanna lose that sense of authenticity or originality. However, this is being the best version of you, and the best version of you may very well be that new identity. So identity changes through action, not just affirmations. You're not gonna talk yourself into a new identity. You have to take action, and after a while of taking action, your identity naturally starts to change. Next, we're gonna cover environment and standards. Who you are around quietly decides who you become. Who you are around quietly decides who you become. Law of association, we talk about it all the time. You're gonna be the average of the top five to 10 people you spend the most time with. So that's why it is important to hang around people who have what you want out of life. If you're the smartest one in the room, you're probably in the wrong room. That's one of the best pieces of one of the best pieces of advice I had gotten. Next is normalize mediocrity. Normalized mediocrity is a big part of it. You have to make sure that you're not in an environment that mediocrity is like the standard because that's naturally going to rub off on you. The moment you're, you find yourself in an environment where people are okay with being average. People are okay with being mediocre, but you want the next level. You have to change your environment. Also on your journey. Your environment oftentimes is like echo chambers, right? You have to be mindful of the language in the environment that you're around. The sometimes you find yourself in environments where people are just gossiping or complaining, or you have that one person that's like a cancer in the organization. So the people that are in the organizations oftentimes it's like an echo chamber. The words that are being spoken about the. Just the attitude in general, right? Oftentimes is going to reflect back. Nex is friends who love you, but don't challenge you. It's a big part of your environment. The friends who love you, but they don't challenge you. Your friends should be constantly challenge you. My friends, like if there's anything I love about my friends is they'll be quick to just call things out. You want those friends that'll call you out on your bs, okay? And you wanna be that friend for other people. This is not to give unsolicited advice, but sometimes it's worth asking your friend Hey, are you open to some feedback? I've been noticing that you've been falling off lately. Come on, this isn't you. Sometimes we need those reminders. They go a long way. You don't need a yes man. You need a corner man. That's the idea. Now, understand, if everyone around you is comfortable, your growth will always feel extreme. I remember a really good friend of mine, he had a lot of business success, and he would oftentimes say that if you're comfortable, you're gonna feel very uncomfortable around me because he was just so adamant about growing and getting to the next level. And if he believed that, if he wasn't around people who had that same mentality, then they're gonna feel very uncomfortable around him. And he was okay with that, right? Because do you really want to stay stagnant? Let's be honest, no one truly wants to stay stagnant. In fact, if you're grow, if you're not growing, you're dying. You, you're either in a state of growth or in a state of decay. So you wanna be around people who have that mentality Hey, let's grow. Let's encourage each other. Let's get to the next level. Okay? I don't know about y'all, but I love when my friends are becoming successful or succeeding in different things or accomplish huge milestones. I love that. In my mind, I'm like, man, keep me on my toes. Keep going. Succeed. Don't be a hater. Be inspired. If you have people in your circle who are thriving and getting to the next level, if you are being triggered by that, then there's some insecurities that you have to get worked out. There's some trauma that you probably have to get worked out. You should be inspired by your friend's success, okay? So that's how my friends and I roll. Like we're always pushing each other to get to the next level. So remember, raising your standards is a big part of it, okay? Changing inputs, meaning the work that you put in. Taking some self inventory of your inputs. How much work are you putting in to what it is that you want? And always being adamant about protecting your vision. You have to protect the dream. The dream is to be nurtured because you have a lot of people on the outside that tell you that you're not being realistic. That'll tell you it can't happen. Oh, that doesn't work for, you know us, right? Oh, that only works for a certain type of people. Oh my, my broke brother-in-law failed at that back in the nineties, right? You've gotta protect the vision from all the naysayers out there, from the people who are going to get in your ear and just know that those people are also a part of the journey. It's just the way it works, okay? That's what makes you appreciate the outcome when you finally get it now, how people actually become who they're capable of being. That's what this next portion is gonna be about. How people actually become who they are capable of being. Now, here's a five step framework. Really good to becoming who you are meant to be. The first thing is radical honesty. You gotta stop lying to yourself. You have to even know that you are lying to yourself in the first place. Awareness is always gonna be the first step. So radical honesty, getting real with yourself. I had to get real with myself one time too. Josh, you are not as good as you think. If you were as good as you think you are, like you would be getting the result. Like you're and sometimes it's good to have those conversations with yourself. Just call yourself out on your bs. Okay, so radical honesty. The second is decision. You gotta decide not interest, not hope, right? A decision that this is what it's going to be no matter what. It's no longer gonna be a should. It's gonna be a must in my life. Making that decision is essential. If you follow some of the greats, you'll oftentimes find a moment in their life that was pivotal because that was the moment they made a decision. That never again decision. Sometimes that's what the decision looks like. It's never again. Never again will I subject myself to how I've been living. Never again will I tolerate that from anybody else. Those never again, moments are truly defining moments in your life because they are moments of decision. The third is discomfort reps. I love the idea of that. Discomfort reps daily intentional growth. Okay, so doing stuff that's uncomfortable. Me getting up this morning on the breakfast club after traveling for days upon days and doing two conferences back to back, like it was a lot and it super uncomfortable getting up on a Tuesday morning when you don't feel like it and you're super tired. But that's a discomfort rep. That's what it takes. And what can you do today? What can you do throughout the week that's a discomfort rep? Maybe it's going into the gym, maybe it's writing that page for that new book that you wanna create. Maybe it's reaching out to that prospect. But you've gotta get your discomfort reps in daily intentional growth. Next is number four, environment upgrade. That could be people, content standards, all of it. But you have to go through an environment upgrade. I always say engineer your environment so that it's conducive for success. You have to put yourself in a winner's world, an environment that is optimal for you, getting to where you wanna be. And number five is guidance. No one does this alone. You've gotta get the right mentorship, you gotta get the right coaches, you gotta get the right guidance. I always suggest this. And by the way, on the topic of guidance we are doing five day challenges. So all year long, I am opening up a certain amount of slots every single month where you get to do a five day challenge with me one-on-one. If you like more information on that and the one-on-one challenge is working on something that you're currently. Building in your life. If you're launching a podcast, if you wanna get into public speaking, or maybe you're launching that next business, or you need some support, you need some coaching, you need some guidance, and you would like to embark on a one-on-one challenge working with me for five days, I would highly recommend you send me a dm, write the word challenge. That way I know that you're, that's what you're inquiring about. And I can send you more information on how you can be a part of the challenge. I've done this with so many of you guys over the last two months. It's been a lot of fun working alongside a lot of you and helping you get that momentum that you need to get this year kick started next. So just to recap the five step framework. For where you wanna be when it comes to hope, direction, all of that. Again, number one is radical honesty. Number two is decision number three is discomfort reps. Number four is environment upgrade. Number five is guidance. Now here's a really great line. Becoming who you are capable of being isn't about intensity. It's about consistency under discomfort. I love that. Becoming who you are capable of being isn't about intensity. It's about consistency under discomfort. Now, I always say like, when it comes to discipline, anybody can be disciplined. Anybody, however, not all people can be consistent. Discipline is cool, but if you can't sustain it, if you can't be consistent with the discipline. Doesn't really serve much. It's not very helpful to just be disciplined when you feel like it. You have to do what you know, not what you feel. So it's prolonged discipline. That's what it's about. It's about consistency under discomfort. And as we get ready to close out I wanna recommend this for you guys over the next seven days till the next breakfast club session. Next Tuesday. For the next seven days, do one thing daily that your old self would avoid One thing daily. Think about something that you've been avoiding for a long time, or just things that you typically avoid that you know you should be doing. That could be going to the gym, that could be reading the book. That can be making sure that you spend time with your kids, but what have you been avoiding? Maybe it's building that business and for the next seven days, do one thing daily that your old self would avoid. Okay? And ask. What are you pretending not to know? What are you pretending not to know? For example, you may know deep down inside that you have to do this specific work to get the result that you're looking for, but it requires rejection, it requires discomfort. I remember hearing on social media about two years ago that the magic that you are looking for is on the other side of doing the thing that you've been avoiding the most. The magic that you are looking for is on the other side of doing the thing that you've been avoiding the most. And what is that thing? What are you pretending not to know? You know that you need to do that thing, but you're dressing it up with all this stuff so that you can avoid it. So next is what would change if you stopped negotiating with yourself? It's powerful. What would change in your life? If you really stop negotiating with yourself for once you said, you know what, this is what it's gonna be. I was watching an interview by Tony Robbins the other day, and he mentioned how he starts his day with a cold plunge no matter what the weather is, he jumps in that cold plunge. And the reason why he does that is because number one, of course, he's shocking his nervous system. There's health benefits, but number two is he wants to make his body understand his body and his brain. Understand that my soul is running the show like you, when I say jump, you jump it, I'm in control, right? Your body and brain doesn't necessarily have to be in control, okay? So he doesn't negotiate with himself. It's no, this is what is going to happen. And that's just an attitude that he brings into the day. And I thought it was really powerful, right? When you, what if you told yourself like, you know what? You may feel tired, but you're not negotiating with your body today. And of course, there are those moments where you have to genuinely listen to your body because you're going through burnout. But when it comes to comfort, don't negotiate because you're that comfort over a prolonged period of time is gonna be the biggest detriment to your success. Okay? If today's session was valuable, drop a v in the comments. Do me a favor, drop a comment. It doesn't have to be a V for value. It could be anything. I read through all the comments, by the way comments, share tag someone who can get value from this. If you don't follow me on Instagram, look up the world traveler. You can follow me on there. Subscribe to the YouTube channel, all of that good stuff. And breakfast is officially served. Remember, potential is not a gift. It is a responsibility. You have a moral obligation to live out your potential. Do not be like. The most abundant, don't, do not fall into the category of where the most abundant place on earth lies. It's in the cemetery. The most abundant place in the world is in the cemetery as Dr. Miles Monroe once said, because dare you will find unlived potential there. You will find all these dreams, all these hopes, all these aspirations that died with the person who held them. And don't be like those people. Don't be like the vast majority of people that leave in the part from this earth without living their God-given potential. You have greatness within you, and I'm so blessed and appreciative of being on this journey with you. Thank you so much. God bless you all. Breakfast is served. Make sure you hit me up for that five day challenge and I'll be seeing you next week. Take care everyone.