You Don't Need a New Plan, You Need a New Standard

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this week we're gonna be covering. You don't need a new plan, you need a new standard. So this is for the people who, constantly find themselves just creating new plans, having paralysis of over analysis every, month or so, every year or so, like, it's always a new plan and you may feel like the new plan is essentially what's going to make the biggest difference. But today I am gonna show you how just setting a new standard for your life can really make the biggest difference. So let's get this thing kicked off. Uh, I have some fun facts in life hacks that I'll be sharing throughout this session. Uh, the very first fun fact is studies show 80% of New Year's resolutions fail by February. So here we are, uh, at the end of January. One thing that I can tell you is that these years go super fast. It, it always feels like we're starting the breakfast club. In, in the beginning of the year and the years go by so fast that, you know, those new year resolutions just kind of get put on the back burner. We've already passed National Quitter Quitters Day as well, where people typically tend to give up on the goals that they set early in the new year. So, uh, my goal for you is that you keep it going, you know, keep those new year resolutions going, keep those goals that you set going all throughout the year, and that's what the Breakfast Club is here for, to, you know, hold each other accountable and provide you with that support. So, um, 80% of New Year's resolutions fail by February. Again, not because of bad goals, but because standards never changed. Now your brain loves familiar pain over unfamiliar growth. That's why people stay stuck even when they know better. It's a really great point because sometimes when we're navigating in unchartered waters, it, it can feel very uncertain. It could feel a bit scary because we're not. We're not used to it, right? It's like the, the good old saying that we'd rather settle for the devil we know than the devil. We don't because it's, it's familiar, the, the life of comfortability. The life of security is very familiar. And when you're going into unchartered territory, your brain is signaling danger because it's unfamiliar. So, um, that, that's a really great point that the brain loves familiar pain over unfamiliar growth, even though the growth is ultimately what will lead to, to your happiness and fulfillment. Again, it's unfamiliar, so that's a big reason why a lot of people are held back. Now, motivation spikes are chemically similar to sugar highs, fast, exciting, and short-lived. So motivation is interesting. When it comes to dopamine, you know, you gotta be mindful that a lot of your dopamine is being stripped by social media. It's being stripped by just things that grab your attention on a day-to-day basis. So when you're doom scrolling on social media, you're sort of giving away your dopamine. And the way dopamine works is there's a, there's a baseline, right? So whenever you have a dopamine spike, let's just say you are doing something that is bringing an adrenaline rush, or you're, you're doom scrolling and you're getting these hits of dopamine. And the more, the more you use up that dopamine, the more you get those spikes. What happens is your baseline sort of raises and it becomes more and more difficult. It becomes more and more difficult to, to get that dopamine. And this is why a lot of people oftentimes who are addicted to drugs, they oftentimes go to even more extreme drugs because in order to get that high, they have to essentially. You know, do things that are far more extreme. So you've gotta be mindful of how the dopamine works in your body and your brain and all of that. Um, because it, it will affect your energy levels, it will affect your motivation. And again, motivation. It's like that, that sugar high. So it ends up coming, crashing down. And sometimes when we set these goals, we, we, we get all excited, we get motivated. And the thing about it is eventually it, it just kind of comes down. And what do you have in place? Right? What guardrails do you have in your life to, in ensure that you still follow through? And this is a big reason why whenever you set goals, you wanna reinforce those goals with as many things as possible that can help support them and help you even push forward on the days you don't feel like it. So for example, with the Breakfast Club, the Breakfast Club. For me, I've been very consistent over the last, over five years now online. So I've been doing the breakfast club now, uh, for around 10 years, uh, because I used to do it in person and it was like almost every single day. And then when I transitioned to online almost six years ago, you know, we still stayed consistent every single Tuesday. But a big reason for that is because the, the community, the accountability showing up for you guys is a big motivating factor, right? I don't wanna let the community down by having everybody expect that I'm gonna be on on Tuesday and then I don't show up, or you guys are logging in at 7:00 AM like, where the hell is Josh? So, uh, that accountability is, is sort of that, that, that guardrail in a sense to make sure that I follow through. And it's the same, like if, if you have, for example, a workout partner, you're far more likely to do those workouts because you don't wanna leave your workout partner hanging, right? Your, your workout partner's like, like, Hey, where are you? It's eight o'clock. And you know, I got, I got things I got, I've got to do. So you're far more likely to follow through, or even if you invest in something, people who pay pay attention. So if you're investing, whether it's in, in coaching or mastermind programs or even your own fitness, you're far more likely to take advantage of it because people will do far more to avoid pain than to gain pleasure. And the, the, the pain of letting your money go to waste is gonna be the very thing that pushes you forward. So once you have an understanding of this, then you can put those guardrails in place to ensure that you follow through. And one of the best guardrails that I can think of are your standards. Your standards, your standards for your life, things that are an absolute must. You see, you don't get your shoulds in life. You get your must. And this is important to understand because when, when you have things that are should, a lot of those shoulds are easy to do, right? Like, I, I should get to the gym. It's not very difficult to just drive to the gym and get in there, maybe psychologically, but in theory if, if you're just driving there, it's not very difficult. Like if you're writing a book too. If you're writing a book, writing a, a, a page, right? The, the, the act of doing the very thing is oftentimes not very difficult, but it's easier not to do. That's the issue. It's easier not to do. So we, we find ourselves in a space where we, we should do these things, but they're not a must. And that's the very reason why we don't, those should become a must when. You, you ultimately, you, you, you create an identity for yourself. Like for, for me, I identify as someone who's always been fit, right? And you could probably say, oh, well you've got a good metabolism, or it's genetics, right. That, that, that could be part of it. But I can assure you that if I never went into the gym, I would look very different than I do right now. So it's not all genetics. 100%. And I know because I've gone, like during COVID, it was a, there was a long stretch of time where I didn't exercise and I was not very happy with the way that I was looking. So it's, it's because me being in shape is a must. I can go three days without working out and I feel off. I feel I, and I'm not sure how many of you can relate to that when you're so accustomed to exercising and then you go three or four days and, and fitness is such a big part of your identity, where you start to feel off, and that's the guardrail, right? Because you start to deviate off track and maybe you have that north star, you're in alignment, you're on track, but then you, you, you kind of dance in the dark a little bit and you deviate off track and, and naturally you're gonna feel that pull back to getting on track because it's such a big part of your identity. I remember my mentor would oftentimes say that one of the most powerful forces in the universe is a human's personality's desire to be congruent with who it believes it is. So who do you believe you are? If your identity is being a really great mom, for example, then a lot of your behavior is gonna center around that a lot of your actions, right? So you have to do the identity work, you have to go through a paradigm shift if you're gonna ensure that these new goals are, are actually executed on. Okay? So next we have a really great life hack, and that is instead of asking what should I do, start asking, what do I no longer tolerate? This shifts your brain from planning to identity. You see, you've gotta get, so like if there's a, if there's a habit in your life that it is destructive to your life, it is destructive to your health, it is destructive to your work. If there's a specific habit, you have to get to a place where you're so disgusted. With going back to that habit where the very disgust is what propels you to stay on track with your new identity, you have to get so turned off. And I'm not sure how many of you can relate to being in a relationship and that relationship was so toxic that the pain of going back to a situation like that is the very thing that, that it keeps those guardrails from you ever going back to any other alternative, it's just like, no, I've, I've wore that shirt and it was so painful that I refuse to ever go back. It's those never again moments and many of you can probably relate to even a time in your life where you went through financial hardship and you remember the pain of going through financial hardship and that is your never again moment where you're just like, there is no way in hell I'm ever going back to that. Some people need that never again moment. When it comes to even, let's just say you wanna make that great leap into entrepreneurship and you wanna let go of that nine to five that you hate and you need that never again moment. Maybe it's your boss disrespecting you, or maybe it's your coworker, right? Just doing something or saying something, uh, that, that, that harms you. Or, or saying something that is disrespectful or whatever and you're just like, I'm not putting up with this. Never again. Maybe it's them not giving you time off and you had a loved one pass away. I remember my job. I literally, uh, you know, I worked on the water and uh, my grandfather had passed away and I had obligations to work on the water and, uh. On that, the fat in the way is just, is mind boggling to me. Right. The, the, your loved one. And, and it, it wasn't like I worked a job that I went home every day. I, I spent about 70% of my life working on the water back in the day and, you know, it wasn't a, a job that I can just up and leave. Right? So that's something that you have to take into account. What is gonna be your never again moment. What do you need a never again moment to, to ensure that you never, you never go back to, you know, where you were. I, I remember hearing about a, um, a Fortune 500 executive who was a woman, and they were asking her about her journey to success. And she had mentioned how she used to be a stay at home mom, and she was dependent on her husband. And there was a moment in time where her girlfriends were going out for some Starbucks and she needed some cash. So she went to her husband and she was like, you know, Hey babe, I I need$10. I'm going out with the, with the, I'm going out with the girls. And the husband was like, what do you need$10 for? And the, the disgust that she had in that moment, the fact that he would even question, what does she need$10 for? Was her never again moment. And that was the very thing that pushed her to become independent and get her job and start her a whole new career and put herself in a position where she never had to rely on anyone ever again because of the disgust of having to even feel so low. Right? How she felt in that moment. That was her never again moment. And sometimes it's like that in relationships. You went through such a toxic relationship and you say, you know what? I'm never going back to feeling the way that I felt. Or you oftentimes see people start, they, they get, they start getting on the treadmill, right? They start exercising after a breakup. Because maybe, maybe the person that they were with left them for somebody else, and they're like, you know, they felt so low that they're just like, never again will I allow myself to lose myself or to not feel my confidence or to feel the way that I feel. So whenever you're in those seasons, embrace them because they can be very useful when it, it may feel like despair, it may feel like, like loss, but if you channel it the right way, it could be the very thing that propels you to becoming the person that you were born to become. So next we have goals versus standards. Okay, so remember this. Goals are temporary. Standards are permanent. Goals are temporary. Standards are permanent, and standards are essentially the very thing that's in alignment with your identity. And by the way, if you guys aren't taking notes classes in session, y'all make sure you take some notes. We're a notetaking community, as we oftentimes say. And, um, it is important to take notes because you're gonna retain a lot of the information so much more, right? The likelihood of you retaining 90% of this is slim to none if you do not write it down. So make sure that you, you take notes. And one of the, the biggest joys of my life is whenever I come across someone that I, that I meet and they show me notes that they, they have taken on their breakfast club sessions that they've been on, and they've got these stick books of just notes that they've taken for year after year after year. And, and I always, it, it, it brings a big smile to my face because it just, you know, it shows how serious someone is, uh, about their personal development, about changing their lives. Okay? So, um, here we go. Goals are what you want. Standards are what you accept. Goals are what you want. Standards are what you accept. So good and so true because think about it, you may have a goal to lose 20 pounds, but you may have a standard that you're never going to be over 20 pounds. Which one do you think you're much more likely to stick to? Right when you, when you have that standard where it's a must, that there's no way in the world that I'm going below that this is my threshold, you're gonna be far more likely to preserve that than just to have a ordinary goal where it's just what you want. So this is the difference between shoulds and must mentor of mine would oftentimes say that people, they, they fall into the habit of just. Having things be a should in their life and they end up shoulding on their life because everything is a should and it's not a must and, and you have to make that distinction. What is a should in your life and what is a must in your life? And those must become your standards. Now, remember this, you don't try to brush your teeth. Brushing your teeth is a standard in your life. You don't have to think about it. It's sort of like unconscious competence. You can wake up and you're naturally gonna brush your teeth. Why is that? Because having a stink breath and yellow teeth, that, I mean that that's just not a part of your identity, right? It's a standard like, no, I'm not about to be walking around with a stink breath and yellow teeth. So brushing your teeth is a standard. Having a fresh breath, clean mouth is a standard in your life. Think about this. You don't try to show up to work. It's expected. You just go to work. You don't, there's no like, ah, do I really feel like going to work today? Unless you got some PTO or something like that, or sick days, maybe you're like, okay, I, I'll take today off. But at some point in time, if you keep taking too many days off, you're probably gonna get let go. So it's, it's expected that you just go to work no matter how you're feeling. You can literally be on three hours of sleep, but you're gonna get your butt up to work because you know you gotta pay them bills. You, you've gotta take care of your family. So you just show up to work. It's, it's a standard, right? And think about this. When was the last time your dreams were a standard in your life? When was the last time your dreams or you putting in work towards what you're looking to create? When was the last time? That is an expectation. It's like, no, I'm not compromising here. I'm gonna do a little something today to get myself closer to my dreams and. Why don't we do it? Because these things are easier not to do, right? It's so much easier not to do. There's no consequence to not following through. You see the things that oftentimes are standards in our lives, the things that are a must in our lives. Oftentimes there's a consequence to not following through. So, for example, there's a consequence. If you don't brush your teeth, it's gonna be a pretty bad consequence. You don't want everybody walking around talking about how bad your breath is, right? There's a consequence to that. There's a consequence to, let's just say, even eating unhealthy. You do it long enough. The consequences, the way that you feel about yourself, right? Not feeling confident. So there's a consequence also, if you don't show up to work, it's like you're gonna get let go eventually, and then you're gonna be in a position where you can't pay your bills. So the thing about dreams, the thing about goals, oftentimes there's not a enough of a, there's not a strong enough consequence to not following through. So this is a big reason why with my line of work and coaching, I, I oftentimes put an accountability fine for clients not following through. And that's a reason why 99% of my clients who put goals in place, they follow through on them because the pain of having to pay that fine is far greater than the pain of executing on what they have to do. Hopefully that's making sense, y'all. If this is, uh, if this is making sense, if you're getting value so far, drop a v for value in the comments. Now, high performers don't rely on mood. They rely on standards. It's not doing what you feel, it's doing what you know now. Yeah. You may sometimes feel extra motivated and inspired. And in the words of Jim Rohn, you wanna act when the idea is hot and the emotion is strong, you wanna maximize on those moments where you feel fired up. Maybe you just drink some coffee and you're like, you're ready to go. And yeah, it's great to double down, double down or triple down in those moments. But how do you show up when you don't feel like it? That's the difference between doing what you know and doing what you feel. So my mentor would oftentimes say that you'd say, do what you know, not what you feel. Okay. So, and you're never gonna feel like going through resistance. If you're chasing your dreams. If you're building a business, you're never gonna feel like just getting rejected. It's not something that comes natural to us. In fact, it's the opposite. We do everything in our power to avoid rejection. To avoid resistance. So the path. To greatness requires the obstacle. The obstacle is the way the heart is. What makes it an opportunity? Because if everybody had your dream, would it even be worth it for you? So you actually have to go through the resistance, you have to go through the heart, and, and that's what makes it an opportunity. So when it's all said and done, you have to get to a point where you can do what you know, not just what you feel in that moment where you say, you know what? I know that there are gonna be a lot of days that I don't really feel like showing up, but what guardrails do I have in place? Well, think about a, a bowling ball, and you're in a bowling alley, and I don't know if you guys remember, but if you were young or maybe you sucked at bowling, they'd have these guardrails that you can put up and. No matter how you throw that ball, as long as you throw it in the lane right, that that ball is eventually is going to get to those pins, there's no opportunity for it to go into the, the, you know, the edge of the, the, the, the, the, the bowling lane. So it's going to reach destination, but you need to put those guardrails in your life to ensure that you reach the destination. And, and that's why having a plan in place whenever you don't feel like it, we call it obstacle mapping in the coaching space. So whenever I do new year resolutions, or whenever I'm setting goals with clients, a lot of the times what I'm doing is I'm, I'm going through this process of obstacle mapping. Obstacle mapping is identifying what are all the things that are going to come into place that are going to prevent me to not following through. Now, many of you, your obstacle mapping may very well be, uh, distractions that are in there. So distractions, like my number one obstacle is distractions. Sometimes I just have things kind of pull my attention and, and, and that's the very thing that hinders me from getting to where I wanna be or putting in more work. Sometimes the obstacle, it can be people that you associate with, it can be the very company that you keep and the company that you keep can be a distraction or it, that, that company could very well be promoting small thinking, right? And it, it sort of rubs off on you, right? Birds of a feather flock together. So that's something that you also have to identify what are the obstacles in the ways. Sometimes your biggest obstacle is social media. Social media becomes a distraction, limiting beliefs. But what do you put in place to ensure that you still move forward? So this is why having a plan in place, having, having those things that you know you need to do, have'em on your calendar because studies show that you're far more likely to follow through on something if you actually have it scheduled out like drastically, more likely. And it, it can be the same for just, just planning for, let's say exercising or planning for writing that next book or creating that content or whatever it is that you're working on. But you, you put that guardrail of getting it on your calendar, scheduling it. Another thing is making it easier for yourself. To follow through. So for example, if you know that you gotta get in the gym, the process of having to look for gym clothes adds more resistance to it. So what can you do to minimize the resistance? Now that can be getting out your gym clothes or even sleeping in fresh, clean gym clothes to go to sleep, so that when you wake up, you're ready to go. Maybe you struggle with getting up in the morning and you constantly hit the snooze. Well, that may be your obstacle. If you were going through an obstacle mapping exercise, then maybe the strategy that, that you put in place is putting your phone on the other side of the room so that you're forced to get up. Maybe you put a, a bottle of water there so it could help you wake up if you're not spending enough time with your kids. Well, when was the last time that you scheduled. Spending time with your kids. Like for me, my, my Sabbath for the week is on Sundays, I make sure that I'm not working on Sundays so that I can spend time with my family because I know I'm a hustle holic. So all week long I'm out there, I'm grinding, I'm putting in the work. And I'm not taking that as a badge of honor per se, but, you know, I'm, I'm the breadwinner in my household. I make sure that I pay the bills and I do what I have to do. My, my wife homeschools and she has her businesses and stuff like that, but my, my household is my responsibility. So I don't have the luxury of not putting in work. I have to go out there and make things happen. I have to hunt. So six days out of the week I'm putting in work, and on the seventh day I rest. And, and that is a guardrail to ensure that I'm spending time with my family, that I don't gain the whole world and lose my soul in the process. It's, it's a, it's the day that we spend time for our spirituality. Uh, you know, spend time with God. We spend time, relaxing, rest, relaxation, taking my kids to the park, making sure that we spend time. We may go to a restaurant, things like that, that, that ensure that we're following through. Next. Here's a fun fact. Olympic athletes focus more on standards of execution than outcomes. Gold medals come after standards are met daily, so good. Think about that. Olympic athletes focus more on standards of execution than outcomes. Now, what do all Olympic athletes have in common? What, what, what's something that they have in common? It's oftentimes discipline. But what ensures that discipline? What? What optimizes that discipline? If you follow every Olympic athlete, they all have coaches. They all have coaches, and it's the same with high performers. You talk with corporate executive, fortune 500 executives, right? They have coaches, they have consultants or, or, or coaches who come in to ensure that they follow through and they're operating at their very best. Okay? And, and, and this, this is why coaching, mentoring, all of that is so important. And the, the coaching is the very guardrail. So if you're an Olympic athlete, think about it. Yeah. Can they get up at five in the morning? Absolutely. But if they let, if, if, if it were up to them, right? There probably would be a lot of days that they don't get up at 5:00 AM So guess what? They hire a coach to make sure that they follow through. And there's a consequence, like when I played sports in college, what would happen? Like if we didn't, if we didn't follow through on stuff, there would be a consequence. To, to, to not following through. If we showed up late to practice, guess what? They had us doing all kinds of crazy workouts directly after there was a consequence to, to missing practice or not showing up to practice, right? That may have been extra lapse that we had to run after practice after we were already tired, right? We used to do these, these, these bear crawls and crab walks and all, all kinds of crazy exercises that we had to do as a consequence, okay? But those are essentially guardrails to make sure that we're doing what we're supposed to be doing. So here's another great life hack. Create minimum standards, not maximum expectations. So for example, your minimum standard may very well be working out 20 minutes, minimum 20 minutes. So I, I love this, this, this hack here because, um, it makes me think of just my personal life. So my, my standard, my minimum standard, for example, going to the gym is like, I need to get in there at least three to four days out of the week. However, I'm not in there two hours, three hours, like most of the time it can be as little as 25 minutes, right? I'm in and I'm out. However, I still meet that minimum standard for myself of just ensuring that I still get into the gym, right? I also go for walks. So my walks are an average of three miles a day. Like I'll just go out and, and me going out for walks is another way that I just keep myself healthy. So I may not get much weightlifting in, but I at least stay mobile and I stay, stay active. Another minimum standard may be reading a minimum of five pages a day, so there may be some audio books that you can listen to. It can be 10 pages a day, five pages a day. But what's your minimum standard for your personal development? What's your minimum standard when it comes to your spiritual life? So for me it's connecting, praying, meditating every single day. That's a big part of my life. Or praying before meals. It's anchored in, in my daily schedule or I, I don't even look at praying a meditation as like something that is a schedule at this point, or it has to be scheduled because it's so in, in, in ingrained in my, my day-to-day life. And it's the same with praying before meals. At least if you pray before meals, it's always anchored in. So even if you get caught up in the busyness of life, anyone can take a few seconds to just pray before a meal. So what are those anchors when it comes to business? It can be one uncomfortable action per day. So I remember in one of my businesses it was making sure that I reached out to a minimum amount of people. I remember we would have these nine by nine challenges where we would reach out to nine people by 9:00 PM every single day. Like that was our minimum standard throughout my, my sales organization. And then I remembered like there were seasons where we weren't going so aggressive, but at a minimum, at a minimum, I'd ensure that I would at least reach out to one person. I'd do something every single day to get me an inch closer to the goal line. But what is your minimum standard? You see for some of you, you may be in a relationship and maybe you don't have a minimum standard. For example, what if your minimum standard was going out for a date or spending quality time with your significant other every single week? What if that was the minimum standard? What if the minimum standard was just showing your appreciation every single day? Just something like that. So there has to be some kind of a baseline to, to ensure that you're not neglecting any of the important areas of your life. So it may be the important areas, like I love compartmentalizing the important areas by the five Fs. You guys hear me talk about this all the time. Faith, fitness, family, fortune, fun. So a minimum standard for your faith, like I mentioned earlier, may be prayer, meditation, scripture, going out in nature. Whatever's your thing, a minimum standard for your fitness may very well be working out three to four times a week or going for a walk. Or maybe it's something with your, with going into Asana, right? For your mental health or whatever. That may be a minimum standard. Now, when it comes to your family, your minimum standard may be. Taking a Sabbath once a week where it's a day off, where you spend that quality time with your family, okay. Or taking your kids to the park once a week, whatever it is, then for your fortune, that's how you go about building your wealth. Your minimum standard could be, let's just say paying yourself first after every paycheck, okay? Or maybe tithing is a part of your, your wealth building minimum standard, okay? When it comes to your fortune and then your fun, right? Because let's be honest, we got this one beautiful life and you, you gotta have fun. You have to enjoy your life. You have to enjoy your wealth and. If you don't have any fun, I mean, do you really wanna go about life in that way? Right? So what's your minimum standard for your fun? And for me, it's making sure that I travel at least once a year. I travel somewhere, I do something that's fun for me. Okay. And for you, fun may look very different. It may be going out to the movies or going out to eat or whatever, but what, what can you do that that's fun in your life and set it as a minimum standard? Okay. This removes perfection paralysis. So a lot of people get caught up in perfection paralysis because they have not necessarily those minimum standards, it's maximum expectations. So they're setting unrealistic expectations for themselves. Like, well, I'm gonna reach out to a hundred people a day in my business, and then they get burnout. Or they're like, I'm gonna make sure that I'm running six miles a day. Right. And it's not sustainable. Okay. Um, or, or they, you know, they have these just crazy ridiculous expectations that are not sustainable. But what can you have as a minimum baseline standard? Okay, so drop a one. If this is, if this is resonating with you so far, drop a one in the comments. All right, let's keep this party going next. We have why most people keep starting over, why most people keep starting over. People don't fail because they lack information. Remember that people don't fail because they lack information. Um, they don't fail because they lack opportunity. It's a big thing. You have to understand. It's not the information. I mean, we have chat, GBT, we have Google, we have all these different things. There's, there's no shortage of information, and there's also no shortage of opportunity. Right. There's a saying that we don't lack resources, we lack resourcefulness. That's that's the real shortage is, is resourcefulness. And most people are failing because their standards drop under pressure, their standards drop under pressures. So good. Okay. And another thing is most people fail because they negotiate with themselves too often. And, and this is, this is really important to understand. You may have just something that was a standard in your life. Think about it. And then you open up Pandora's box and you allowed room for just life to kind of creep in and the resistance to creep in. And you've fallen back into old habits. And this is why it is important. To really assess your life. E every week, just kind of reflect back and do, uh, a self-assessment like, what am I doing? Where am I going? If I keep doing what I'm doing, what am I going to, what can I expect to receive? Right? Your standards sometimes are dropping under pressure, and you have to get yourself back. You know, you have to get yourself back on an even keel, back on track with everything. And then oftentimes people negotiate with themselves too often that that's, again, the difference between a should and a must. There's no negotiating. This is my standard, this is what it's going to be. Okay. And, and for me, for example, my, my integrity as a man is everything. To me, my, my word, like my word is, is a hundred percent. Like, it's, it's, it's bond for me. Like, I don't, I don't negotiate with myself. I don't negotiate with my integrity. Whenever I'm doing business with someone, it's like. It has to be like, integrity has to be at the core of it because that's, that's how I identify as a man. So there's no negotiating when it comes to any business. Like, it's like there's no, oh, well, you know, there's a lot of gray area. No, it's like we're doing good business or we're doing bad business. There's no fine line. Right? So there, there's no negotiating. For example, when it comes to my integrity and, and there's a lot of things like just every day, like things that are important, things that I value, like whether it's family life or my health or whatever, there's just certain things that are non-negotiables, right? It's like my children going to church on Sundays. It's a non-negotiable. I, I don't care if you guys don't wanna get up in the morning and not go like, no, that's, this is, this is what we do. Right? And until you move out of here, right? When you become older and you have your own family, you can do your own thing. But like, it's a non-negotiable in, in our household. It's just important. It's, it's part of our value system. So you have to set those non-negotiables in your life, okay? And the, the key teaching point in this is the moment you negotiate with your standards, you train yourself to break trust with yourself. Think about that powerful. The moment you negotiate with your standards, you train yourself to break trust with yourself. How many, how many of you have been through that? I, I, I don't think you've lived enough life. If you haven't gotten to a point where you felt like you couldn't trust yourself. Like, I think if you, if you live, if you've lived enough life and you've danced in the dark enough, you've gotten at some point in your life, you've gotten to a point where I don't know if I could trust myself in following through, right? And it that you have to have those hard conversations with yourself. Okay? And because we, we all fall into that from time to time, sometimes you're, you're doing good and life just starts life, and you revert back to old ways. And the big thing is not to beat up on yourself like we're human. You're not a machine. You, we are human beings and we all fall short from time to time. And you have to give yourself some grace. Okay? And here's a really great fun fact. Your brain releases dopamine. Not when you succeed, but when you keep promises to yourself, when you keep promises to yourself, when you do the hard thing. That's, that's what it's all about. And remember, there's a baseline to dopamine. So whenever you do the hard thing, it, it sort of lowers that baseline so that you can experience dopamine even more. Right? And that, that's the power of doing hard things, is you get this surge of motivation. You ever do something that you know is good for you and you have this, this surge of energy, it's because you're, you're doing the hard thing. It's like now you have dopamine and you're encouraged to do more hard things. That's why the obstacle is the way, the obstacle is the way, because the more you do hard things, the more you tell yourself, I can trust myself. I can do hard things. I can do another, I can do another. But the more you fall short and you, you fall into comfortability, then again, it, it's, it's harder to break out of that. Because you don't have that dopamine to help you. Okay? So super important to understand. It's like whenever you do things that are shallow, whenever you do things that are not good for you, like just doom scrolling an hour, two hours, three hours. Now if you're doom scrolling for comedy and, and that's part of your self-care, just laughing, right? For, for an hour for the day. Like, I'm not talking about that. I'm talking about just a doom scrolling where you're sitting there like a zombie going through brain rot. Not, you know, not, not really living life. You're just consuming social media, right? For, for just whatever, whatever you're consuming it for. Well, think about it, you oftentimes know how, how bad something is for you by how, by how shallow you feel after you've done it. I don't know about y'all, but sometimes I. I get annoyed with myself if I'm doom scrolling too long. And it's a big reason why I constantly delete my social media apps multiple times throughout the day when I find myself in that pattern. Because you know, you could be spending your time doing things that are a lot more useful, okay? So you have to keep those promises to yourself. You have to. You have to ensure that you're not doing things that are stripping you of your dopamine and then leaving you feeling shallow, leaving you feeling worse off. It may feel good in the moment, right? But then you feel worse off because you know that you're not doing the hard things, the things that are ultimately going to get you to where you wanna be in life. Okay? So here's some identity based language that you can use. Okay? So instead of saying, I'm trying to eat better, you can switch it to, I don't eat like that anymore. A lot of your life is going to be dictated by the language that you use. Words have power. There is power in the tongue, and your tongue is like the rudder of a ship, right? Your language, it guides the direction you're going in. So you have to be very mindful at the words that you use and how you speak about yourself. This is why I oftentimes, I reference the book, what to Say when you Talk to yourself by Dr. Shot Helmstetter. Because in that book he says, you never wanna say something about yourself that you don't want to be true. And I always go as far to say, you never want to say something about yourself or your situation that you don't wanna be true because words become a self-fulfilling prophecy. Or you have to be very mindful at how you speak about your situation and how you frame words. So again, instead of saying, I'm trying to eat better, or I'm trying to exercise more, it's no, I don't eat like that. Anymore, or I always go to the gym or I or I, oh, I'm always intentional about my health. Right? Language creates identity and identity enforces standards. That's the big takeaway from all of this. Language creates identity and identity enforces standards. It's like if your language around money is, oh, well, money is root of all evil or money, uh, doesn't grow on trees and all this, listen, well, you can keep your language and that may very well be true for you, but it's not true for everyone. It's just what you have, you've accepted as true for you. It's like the old quote, right? That says whether you say you can or you can't. You're right. So if, if you say that you can't do something, yeah. That, that's your reality, that that becomes true for you, that becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy for you. But the, the man or the woman that says, no, I can, I can do this very thing. And that could also be true for you. So language is shaping your identity, okay? And your identity is enforcing those standards in your life. So if my standard, for example, like in my household, we, we make it very clear to my, my boys, I got three, three young boys. And it's like, Valentine's aren't quitters, we don't quit. That's like, God didn't put that quit bone in us, right? And most people have a quick bone where a backbone ought to be, as my mentor would oftentimes say. So you have to identify as someone who's not a quitter, but if you constantly give up on things. You justify it with saying, oh, it's just that wasn't right for me, or, ah, you know, I just decided not to do it. That, that becomes a habit in your life. So who do you identify as when it comes to your resilience? Right. So for me, for example, I, I believe that my faith in God is ultimately what, what helps when it comes to my resilience, I believe that, that my relationship with God is the very thing that, that helps me during very difficult times. It helps me navigate through suffering. It, it helps me not let a good suffering go to waste and derive a sense of meaning in the, the obstacles, in the challenges of life and whether or not you believe in that. One thing that is an incontrovertible fact is that it works. It works. Makes no difference to me whether you believe in it or not. Does it work? Does it have utility? Does it have value? That's the bigger question. So faith goes far beyond whether or not you can scientifically prove it. One thing that's an incontrovertible fact is that it works for many, many people. There are millions and millions of people where it just simply works, right? And the people that you oftentimes see that fall into nihilism or this mental model of the world, that what's the point? Right? Of course, you're gonna fall into that, that perspective. If you don't believe in anything higher than yourself, it's, it's so much easier to fall into that and to give in, right? Or just determine that, you know, life is pointless. However, when you believe in something greater, a higher force, that your life is guided, that life is happening for you, not to you, then it helps you become more resilient. It helps you go through those challenges with grace. Okay, so the next part that we're gonna be covering is self-respect, is the real strategy. Self-respect is the real strategy. I love this self-respect. This is where it gets a little deeper. Okay? This is where the true wisdom lies, because one thing that I can tell you is, for example, um, it always boggles my mind when people tell me about how disrespected they get. Like, like the the, when, when I see people who are constantly disrespected. Or constantly, you know, just spoken to a certain way. It boggles my mind because in like, there's no way in hell that I'm going to allow someone to talk to me a certain way. Like, you have to teach people how to treat you. You have to stand for something or fall for anything. Where's your dignity? Where's your self respect? Now, of course, you also have to reciprocate that as well. You can't expect to receive respect from other people, and you're not respecting people. Okay? You reap what you sow. It's as simple as that. So you have to have that, that dignity. You have to have that self-respect if you want to receive that respect. So whenever I'm, I'm just navigating through life and, and navigating with people, it's like I, I can't tell you a lot of situations where people are just super disrespectful. Now, you can't control what other people do. Of course. But I believe that if you have dignity and you have have self-respect and you treat others with respect, then that's naturally going to reflect back to you. Okay? Now remember this. Standards are not about discipline. They're about self-respect. That's what standards really are. So if you set a standard to be in shape, it's about self-respect. If you set a standard for your spiritual life, again, it's about self-respect or your family life. It's about self-respect. That that's what it's about. Like for me, a lot of people, I've, I've done a lot of great business with people over the years, and many times people will, will invest in, in my business. Over the years, I, I'd get people who would invest really good friends of mine, people who've known me for a lot of years, because my asset, right? Was self-respect for a lot of years. It's the discipline, it's following through. It's being a person of integrity. You're not gonna be seeing me out there, you know, drunk and acting a fool, um, in front of other people because there's that self-respect. I don't want to shame my family by acting a certain way in public or making a fool out of myself. It's about self-respect, that that's where the standards really kick in. So, uh, think about this. Think about the relationships, for example, that just drain you. When you truly have self-respect for yourself and your life and you truly treasure, treasure your life, then you're not going to allow people to consume your life. You're not going to allow those energy vampires to get into your life'cause you just have too much self-respect or undercharging for your skills. Listen, y'all, I am unapologetic. About. I tell people all the time when people reach out to me about coaching and consulting, I let them know right from the beginning. I'm not cheap. I'm just letting you know. Like I have people all the time reach out, and that's one of the first things that I say is like, look, the moment they ask for my pricing, I'm not cheap. But you know what? You're getting the best. You're getting the very best and, and I'm going to be able to deliver on whatever it is that we're working on, right? Whatever I say that I'm gonna do, I'm gonna follow through. And that's why I charge what it is that I charge. I'm unapologetic about it, right? Because I know that I can solve the problem. I know I have that self-respect in myself that I'm going to show up on time every time, and I'm going to overdeliver on what I promise on. Okay? That's self-respect. So there's no undercharging, no. You see, when it comes to a lot of the top brands in the world, Rolex is not giving you a discount. You're not gonna find a Lamborghini on a black sale, black Friday sale. You're not going to find Apple products on Black Friday sales right there. There's no, there's no discount. There's no walking into those stores asking for 10% off. No. They know their value. Right? There's, there's a high standard for, for those specific brands, there's a certain brands you're not even gonna find on a commercial. Why is that? Because the people who purchase those products ain't on tv. They're not watching tv. Why? Because they have a lot of self-respect. And not to say that people who watch TV don't have, I'm not saying that they don't have self-respect now, but if you're watching TV for over three hours a day, eh, I don't know. Unless everything else in your work, your life is working out exactly how you want it to, but you probably shouldn't be consuming that much television or that much social media all day long. Lot of the people who purchase. The luxury goods. They're out there working. They're out there grinding. There's no time to just be sitting around lounging on a couch, binge watching television all day. Okay? So the ads that you're watching on television are for people who typically are couch potatoes who are just sitting there all day. Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not gonna sit here and tell you like, I don't watch Netflix from time to time. I have a Netflix account. But guess what? That's more of a reward. Like I, I wa I watch Netflix after the job has been done. Not, not as a lifestyle, okay? Because there's, there's work that needs to be done. Okay? Another thing is avoiding hard conversations. A lot of people are passive aggressive. A lot of people fall into just not willing to have those hard conversations. And guess what? Those are like cuts that continue bleeding out. There may, it may not be a gaping wound, but it's a cut that continues to bleed. And if you do not heal that cut, you will bleed out. And hard conversations are, are like that, you know, you have to get around to the hard conversations. And the more you prolong it, the more you bleed and the more you bleed out. That's what, that's what it is. So you have to be willing to have those hard conversations. Whenever I have like any kind of confrontation in business or anything like that, I, I'm, I'm one of those people, I'll knock on your front door. I, I, I'll go straight to your house and it's on site. It's like, what's up? What we got going on? I, I don't know, like, I, not everybody's built like that, but how many of you can relate to that if you have problems, you're not trying to let it linger in your mind. You're not trying to wait till next week. You like going straight for the kill, knocking on that front door, like, what's going on here? What we, what, what, what we gotta talk about? Right. I'm one of those people and I find that it's so much better to just kill the monster before it grows. Do not let it fester and grow over time. Get straight to it. Next, we have letting emotions run your day. Living by your emotions and not by your logic. You're like an emotional rollercoaster. It's just you don't, you know, people like that in your life where they're just so emotional, emotionally volatile, you, you don't really know which direction they're gonna go, okay? You have to get your emotions under control. That has to be a standard in your life that you're not going to allow emotions to run you. Now, here's a powerful reframe. What you tolerate becomes your normal. What you tolerate becomes your normal. There's just certain things that you need to make sure that not only you don't tolerate from other people. You don't tolerate from yourself. Super important. So here's another great life hack. Do a tolerance audit and ask these three, these three questions here. Number one, what am I allowing that cost me energy? What am I allowing that costs me energy? I know for me, one of the things that come to mind immediately is too much social media. Sometimes I do pretty good, but sometimes like I catch myself again being sucked into the vortex of social media and it takes my energy, okay? Sometimes it's conversations with loved ones or friends that are just too damn long, and by the end of the conversation you have no energy. You guys know exactly the type of people that I'm talking about, those energy vampires, right? Costing you too much energy. But what are you allowing that costs you too much energy? Sometimes it's just going back and forth with people who are toxic and you have no energy after that. Okay, so that's another big one. The second question is, what am I pretending doesn't bother me. What am I pretending doesn't bother me. That's so good. Sometimes it's the environment that you're in. Sometimes it's working that job that you despise and you're, you're like, oh yeah, you know, it's fine. It's not that bad and it's bothering you working a job that you're not unfulfilled in or, or working under a boss that you just don't like working under their leadership. Right? Yeah. It's a paycheck, right? But it's bothering you and, and you probably should put a plan in place to move forward with your life and have the courage. Don't justify it with, oh, well it's, it's paying the bills. Like, no, start the process of changing your circumstances if you don't like it. And the third question is, what would my future self stop tolerating immediately? What would my future self stop tolerating immediately is so good. So the three questions, once again, for those of you in the back of the classroom who didn't take notes, what am I allowing that cost me energy? Number two is what am I pretending doesn't bother me? And number three is, what would my future self stop tolerating immediately? So good. If you guys are getting value, drop a comment in the comment thread or drop a V for value if you're still getting value here. Okay. By the way, quick pit stop. I've been running these five day challenges with our community. Uh, they're one-on-one challenges where you get to work with me for an entire week, okay? One-on-one with me personally. And we pretty much work on whatever project that you're currently working on. So again, some of you have these big projects, these big goals, and they're easy to do, but they're easy or not to do. And you need that extra accountability. You need that guidance. You need that cornerman, right? Not a yes man, a cornerman, someone that's gonna be there to help you get from where you are to where you want to be. And you probably have never. Worked with a, with a personal one-on-one coach. In fact, 99% of the people that I know have never worked with a coach, and one thing that I can tell you is that the world's elite performers have a coach for the very reason that they get a lot more done. And their, their performance is so much better, okay? And that's why they, they invest in coaching. Um, so the reason why I mention that is because I've been running these five day challenges for the last two months, and I've gotten to work with a lot of you guys, and it's been such a joy working with you. It's 5 45 minutes sessions over the course of a week, and we're working on whatever project you're working on. So whether it's losing weight or whether it's, let's just say, uh, working on that podcast or becoming a public speaker, or working on your business, growing your business, whatever it is, I'm going to be there coaching you one-on-one. For an entire week and really great value. And if you want more information on that, just DM me the word challenge right now. Like, don't wait, because I have a, a standby list of people that, that want to work one-on-one. I can't, there's only one of me, so I only have a limited amount of hours that I can dedicate to this. But every month, uh, for this year, I've committed to opening up a few slots. So you may not get a round to it for this week or next week, or even a couple of weeks, but at least if you're on the standby list, we can get you on the lineup for some time throughout the year to do it. So, uh, it's been really, really fun. Uh, working with so many of you is the very first time I've ever done this, uh, since starting out with, with coaching. I've never worked with people on a five day challenge, one-on-one before. So, uh, it's been, it's been really great and it's been nice seeing a lot of your transformation. So, uh, with that being said, let's get ready to bring the plan in for a landing here. The next part is. How to raise your standards without burning out how to raise your standards without burning out. Okay, so here we go. Rule number one, raise standards in one area at a time. Don't stretch yourself in just doing the most and having information overload or brain overload and overwhelming yourself with so many different things. Focus on one area at a time, so maybe you raise your standard with your health. What, what is the new standard for you? So, my, one of my standards and my, my kids always reference it. Like, I don't eat desserts, I don't eat, uh, sweets. It's just been my standard and not, because I don't necessarily like sweets. I don't know, it's just at, at some point in time. I realized that yeah, this, this isn't like real food and it's not healthy or whatever. And I understood how sugar basically, you know, creates fat in your body and all of that. And I don't know, it just at some point in time it just became very dissatisfying. The, the idea of eating sweets and desserts and all of that, and I get it for some of you, you're like, there's no way in hell I'm ever giving up sweets. And that's okay. It doesn't necessarily have to be the sweetss. Maybe it's smoking cigarettes, maybe it's doing drugs, whatever it is. But what is a standard one area of your life? And if it's health, what can you implement? I know one of the things about me as well is I'm very intentional about my sleep. So I'm not one of those people that are burning the midnight oil and neglecting my health and living off of three hours of sleep. I, there's just no way, uh, I, I believe in the power of rest. I believe that sleep can be a superpower, right? If you go about it in the right way. So sleep is a priority for me as well when it comes to my health. Okay, so that, that's, that can be a standard that you raise. Let's say it's money. What if your new standard is paying yourself first? What if your new standard is tithing? What if your new standard is diversifying your income or always being on time with your taxes, or always insuring that you have adequate health insurance or life insurance? What if that's the new money standard for yourself? Or what about relationships? What if the new standard is you always, let's say, kiss your spouse or whatever before you leave to work, or maybe the standard is connecting with your spouse once a day. Or your significant other, or maybe it's, it's celibacy right up until marriage, which, which can be super valuable as well, uh, for a lot of people. Right. Maybe, maybe you don't believe in the idea of shacking up with someone and waiting till marriage till you move in with someone. Maybe that's a new standard that you set for yourself or the, the idea of like, you know, what if I'm not gonna be engaged for 10 years, like if, if that man wants to marry me, like he needs to get to it because Right. That, that's a standard for your life. It's always interesting to me, like when people are engaged for like 10 plus years, like, what are you waiting for? Right. Um, why, like, what was the point of getting engaged? Like, you know, if, if you're, you're putting the ring with the intent or giving the ring with the intention of like, Hey, we're gonna get married, right? So, um, what is that standard? What is that standard for you? Okay? And I get it, marriage is not everybody's thing, right? But, um, when it comes to your relationships in general, uh, what is going to be that standard? Maybe it's the way someone treats you that becomes your new standard for your relationship. Maybe your standard is making sure that you have a man that opens up the door for you when you're going on dates. Maybe that's your standard, but you have to, you have to stand for something. Maybe you have some standards on personal growth. What is it going to be for you? Investing in yourself, taking the time to read or listen to the audio books, but what's one area this week that you can raise the standard on? If you guys don't mind, drop a comment on one area that you, that you plan, not that you like, but one area that you plan on raising the standard in this week. Okay? Rule number two, attach standards. To systems, not emotions. Attach standards to systems, not emotions. It's so good. So I always refer to the daily method of operation, your DMO. That's how you go about your day every single day. And what about your day clearly indicates that you have standards in these important areas of your life. So for example, before I get my day started, there's always some kind of prayer, meditation that's part of like my system. Okay? Me putting in work for my business or my businesses, that's part of my system. Me exercising for the day, that's part of my system. So for you, you have to, you have to ensure that you update your software. If you are running on outdated software that's no longer conducive to your overall wellbeing, then you may have to upgrade your system for how you operate. Okay? So it could be the same wake up time. It could be the same morning routine, same weekly reflection. But what is your system? Now, here's a fun fact. People with consistent routines report 40% lower decision fatigue, which equals higher performance. This is the idea of turning something into unconscious competence. It's like when you drive, when you first drive, you're probably stressed the hell out because you're having to think about every single turn and looking to your left, looking to your right, like it's, it's overwhelming. But over time, you get so good at driving where it becomes unconscious competence. And the brain. That's the way the brain works. The brain is designed to not overwhelm itself and preserve its energy. So there are a lot of things that, again, they go deep into your subconscious, so you don't have to have it running through your prefrontal cortex. And just like, I have to think about this and think about that. No, it, it becomes autopilot for you. And what can you have a part of your day-to-day regimen that's on autopilot where you don't have to even think about it because it's such a part of your routine or your lifestyle? Here's another life hack. Build non-negotiable anchors. Build non-negotiable anchors. So the morning, for example, could be your body and mind and Tony Robbins, he has this hour of power where he's doing breathing exercises, gratitude exercises, he is doing a cold plunge and all these different things. But what is your hour of power? The first thing in the morning. I know for me, social, not consuming social media first thing in the morning, super important. That's a big reason why I actually delete my apps before going to bed. I don't always nail it every single time, but most days I'm deleting the apps that I don't wake up and start doom scrolling. Okay? The midday could be all on execution. That's when you're all out, massive action on whatever work things you have going on, and then the evening time can be for reflection or rest or whatever. So remember, anchors are greater than motivation because anchors are things that you don't, you do because you just know it's like, this is what I do. You're not doing it because you feel like doing it. No, you do it because it's just a part of your DMO, your daily method of operation, and it's far greater than motivation. Motivation, I feel like motivation, the way you should use motivation is like fanning the flame. You wanna, when you wanna get a little bit more heat, a little bit more energy going, right, A little bit more fire, then you fan the flame, right? You give it some oxygen and motivation kind of works like that. You don't wanna just rely on fanning the flame in order to have that fire burning, right? But sometimes you wanna just take all out massive action. And that's where motivation kicks in for me. When I, when, whenever I need to get fired up, sometimes I'm putting on certain types of music or I'm getting my body moving, right? Or I, I'm, I'm reading something or watching something inspiring and, and that fan's the flame. Okay? But you don't wanna have to rely on those external factors in order to take action. That's why it's important to have those anchors, things that are non-negotiables. So as we wrap up here, I have some reflection questions for you guys. First is, where have I lowered my standards to feel comfortable? That's the first question you wanna ask yourself. Where have I lowered my standards to feel comfortable? And that may be just going after your dreams and you've lowered your standards because you're allowing yourself to just play games or Netflix and chill or just hang out and not put any time. Maybe you're justifying it with, oh yeah, I'm doing this for my mental health, or I'm doing this for bonding with my my loved ones. And really it's just a justification. It's an an excuse for not following through on what you know you should be doing. Second question is, what standard if I raised, which changed my life the fastest? So good. These are really great questions. What standard, if I raised, would change my life the fastest? And last question is, who do I become if I stop negotiating with myself? Really, really powerful. So to wrap up those reflection questions, where have I lowered my standards to feel comfortable? What standard, if I raised, would change my life the fastest? And who do I become if I stop negotiating with myself and to close out? Remember this, you don't need another planner. You need a version of yourself that refuses to go backward. Ladies and gentlemen, breakfast is officially served. I'll mic drop right there and I hope that you got value outta this. If you got a value from this segment, like comment, share, tag someone who can get value, subscribe to the YouTube channel. If you guys haven't, you could also follow me on Instagram at the World Traveler. Thank you so much for tuning in. Always a blessing serving you guys. Breakfast is officially served. See you all next Tuesday, and do not forget to DM me the word challenge right now. If you want more information on how you can be a part of the five day challenge with me, take care. God bless. See you all next week.