Your Life Isn't Stuck - Your Standards Are

Your Life Isn’t Stuck—Your Standards Are | Raise Your Baseline, Raise Your Life (Breakfast Club)

This Breakfast Club personal development session focuses on the idea that people don’t get what they want in life—they get what they tolerate—and that feeling stuck is often the result of low standards tied to identity. The speaker explains the difference between goals (outcomes) and standards (minimum conditions you accept), showing how finances, health, relationships, and emotional peace reflect underlying standards. They outline how low standards create hidden resentment, quiet regret, identity erosion, and internal conflict, and emphasize that standards operate subconsciously and are identity-driven. Practical frameworks include identifying what you consistently allow, excuse, and postpone; understanding Parkinson’s Effect and the importance of reframing language from “have to” to “get to”; and adopting non-negotiables that remove options rather than relying on motivation. Three “life hacks” to raise standards are presented: the no-negotiation rule, environmental elevation (upgrading who you spend time with and what you consume), and raising the floor rather than the ceiling by setting minimums you can maintain on your worst days. The speaker shares personal examples involving workplace respect, personal presentation, valuing time, fitness routines, travel as a yearly standard, and how exposure to different environments and cultures can upgrade standards. The episode closes by distinguishing high standards from ego, framing them as self-respect and dignity, and invites viewers to choose one standard to raise today. The speaker also offers complimentary coaching sessions via DM with the word “coach,” and a five-day one-on-one challenge via DM with the word “challenge,” and asks viewers to like, share, and comment.

00:00 Your Life Isn’t Stuck—Your Standards Are (Intro + What to Expect)
01:47 Standards vs. Goals: The Minimum You Accept
03:56 Your Real Standards: What You Allow, Excuse & Postpone
05:09 Stop Procrastinating: Parkinson’s Law + “Have To” vs “Get To”
08:37 The Hidden Cost of Low Standards (Resentment, Regret, Identity Erosion)
09:45 Raising Standards at Home: Parenting, Health, Faith & Daily Habits
13:55 Standards Carry You: Non‑Negotiables, Boundaries & Personal Examples
18:49 Shoulds vs Musts: Why People Change Only at the Last Minute
20:52 Quick Pit Stop: Free Coaching Sessions + 5‑Day Challenge Invite
23:46 Standards = Identity (Not Effort): Remove Options, Eliminate Negotiation
26:57 You Don’t Rise to Goals—You Fall to Standards (Remember Your Worth)
29:12 Find Your Joy: Values, Alignment, and Clarity
29:42 The Core Principle: You Fall to Your Standards (Worst-Day You)
30:20 Life Hack #1: The No-Negotiation Rule (Consistency = New Software)
31:44 Life Hack #2: Environmental Elevation (People, Food, Media, Workspace)
37:46 Life Hack #3: Raise the Floor, Not the Ceiling (Standards for Worst Days)
42:30 High Standards Aren’t Perfection: Refusing to Collapse + Personal Story
43:55 Identity-Based Habits & Financial Self-Image (What You Believe You Deserve)
47:11 Exposure Upgrades Standards: High Performers, Culture, Travel, Manners
52:26 High Standards Without Ego: Self-Respect, Boundaries, Quiet Elevation
53:29 Final Baseline Reset: Raise Your Standards, Raise Your Life (Call to Action)

Transcript

0:00

today we're going to be covering a really great. Topic and it is going to be on. Your life isn't stuck. Your standards are. So today's topic is everything, standards and identity. And if you're new to the Breakfast Club, typically, uh, what we do here on the Breakfast Club is pretty much share everything around personal development, life coaching, things that could essentially make your life. Better. Every single week is something different. And welcome. If this is your first time, let's jump right into it. So, um, again, today's topic is going to be on everything standards. Your life isn't stuck, your standards are now. Most people don't get what they want in life. They get what they tolerate, they get what they tolerate. And, uh, really, really great share, uh, for so many reasons, and I'm gonna talk a lot about standards here today because I think that. Um, throughout the course of my life, one thing that I've noticed, oh, um, it throughout my life is that the, the more I raised my standards year after year, the better life just got, you know, the, the better results I got also. So, um, now think about this, right? Your bank account reflects your financial standards. Your body reflects your health standards. Your circle reflects your relational standards, and your piece reflects your emotional standards. So we pretty much have standards for everything that we do throughout our lives, and the question is, what are your standards when it comes to your overall life? In terms of what you're willing to tolerate, what are your standards when it comes to your money? What are your standards when it comes to your health? Right? So the idea is that it, it's not about hustle, it's about identity requirements. That's really what we're talking about, identity requirements. What are the, what are, what is the bare minimum when it comes to your standards. Now, the first part of today's topic, we're going to be talking about, uh, what standards actually are, just so that we're clear, okay? So just know this. Um, and if you guys have something to take notes with, you're definitely gonna wanna take notes. We're gonna be sharing a lot of great value here today. And, uh, the first thing is standards are not goals. Just to be clear. Standards aren't goals. Goals are outcomes. However, standards are the minimum conditions you accept. Okay? So think about it like this. If you're looking to lose weight, right? Your goal may be to lose 20 pounds, and that's the goal that you set, let's say at the beginning of the year. However, your standards are when you're like, I'm going to make sure that I never eat unhealthy. I'm gonna make sure that, or maybe not never, but on most days, you eat pretty healthy. Maybe your standard is you work out a minimum three to four days out of the week, and that is the bare minimum, right? You may have this goal, but think about how oftentimes we set goals and they just don't stick. You kind of put them on the back burner and you end up just going about life. So this happens all the time. So again, the bigger question is what are your standards when it comes to things that you really want in your life? So if you want financial prosperity for example, then what are your standards for your, your wealth in terms of the minimum you have to make to maintain that standard of your quality of life? Now, if someone's standard is, I'll work out when I feel like it. It's gonna lead to an inconsistent body. If your standards are, I'll save when there's extra, it's pretty much gonna lead to no wealth. Or if your standard is i'll tolerate disrespect to keep the peace, then it's gonna lead to low quality relationships. So this applies pretty much to every area of your life. And the thing about standards is that they operate subconsciously, they're identity driven. When it comes to your standard, it's all about identity. Okay? Who do you identify as a, as a person. Okay, and here's some really great questions to follow. What do you consistently allow in your life? What do you consistently allowing when it comes to how someone treats you? Maybe it's within a relationship. Maybe it's in in the workplace. Okay? What do you consistently allow? The next thing is also, what do you consistently excuse? What do you consistently excuse? Okay. Sometimes you may, you may let yourself off the hook or let your children off the hook. I know when it comes to, I got three boys and, um, I don't let them off the hook for nothing. Like, um, I always ensure, because I, I know that I'm raising young men, right? So you can't be too lenient and, you know, end up getting walked all over. So, uh, what do you consistently excuse. When it comes to not only your own personal life, but within your household also, what do you consistently postpone? What do you consistently postpone? Think about that. How many times we have things that we know that we should be doing for the day, but we end up saying, well, I'll get around to it tomorrow, even though you know it's important. Right. There's something called the Parkinson's Effect, and I had, uh, I had learned about this years ago. And when it comes to the Parkinson's effect, the way that it typically works is say you're given, you're given an, an allotted amount of time to accomplish a task, right? So I always think about my college days when I was given, uh, let's say a 10 or 20 page paper, and you may be given the entire semester. Now think about the amount of time it actually takes to do the work. Typically, it's not gonna take weeks upon weeks to get the work done. However, the way the human mind works is we'll use an entire span of time, the entire allotted time, rather than knocking it out at the very beginning. We'll wait till the very end to be working and completing that task. And I remember like. Breaking night, multiple nights, just staying up till four or 5:00 AM getting those papers done, even though I was given weeks and sometimes months to complete it, right? So that's how Parkinson's effect works, where usually using up the entire amount of time and imagine if you can get to a point in your life where you just knock things out as soon as they arise. Because when the, the, the, the thing that most people don't realize is that when, whenever you're, you're, let's say, putting things on the back burner, what happens is it's, it's like death by a thousand cuts. You're thinking about it day after day, after day, week after week, and why not just rip the damn bandaid off and get to exactly what it is that you need to be doing, right? Rather than thinking about it and knowing that, damn, I have to get this thing done. Okay. But again, the way we're naturally wired, we, we typically avoid pain and, and gain pleasure. Like that's, that's the way we're wired. We're doing everything in our power to gain as much pleasure as possible and minimize the amount of pain possible. So what we typically do is we, we sort of attach things that we have to do. And, and even the terminology or, or the way that we word it is important because there are certain things that you have to do, but there are certain things that you may feel like you have to do, but you also get to do. Right? So it's, think about what's more empowering, something that you have to do or something that you get to do. It's like, like work, right? You don't have to go to work. You may, you may be saying, well, I have to go because I have to pay the bills. Well, technically no one is holding you hostage saying if you don't go, you don't go to work, you're gonna be off. Right? Like that's not the case. You make a conscious decision every single day to go to work. So something you get to do, not that you have to do it, you don't have to do anything. Okay. So, uh, now is there a con, a consequence to not showing up to work? Absolutely. But when it's all said and done, we have a lot more freedom than we realize, and it's important that you're mindful of the way that you word things, because words have power, and typically those words are going to dictate the way you feel about what it is that you need to do or have to do or want to do. Okay. So that's your real standard. Okay. What do you consistently allow? What do you consistently excuse? What do you consistently postpone? That's your real standard. Next, the cost of low standards. The cost of low standards. Low standards. If you don't know, there's a few consequences to having very low standards. Low standards create hidden resentment, quiet regret, identity erosion, internal conflict. Think about that for a second. Hidden resentment, like, have you ever had moments in your life where you had just resentment because you allowed yourself to have very low standards? Or maybe you regret just agreeing to something because you wanna keep the peace and now you're regretting your decision because you, you've allowed people to cross your boundaries, or you had no p personal boundaries for yourself. Identity erosion. Just your identity, like you don't even know who you are because you're just agreeing with what everybody else wants for your life. I mean, think about it. How many of us can relate to that at some point in time in our lives or internal conflict where you feel conflicted, right? With the way that you're going about your life? So that's what low standards does, and I always tell people like if there's anything, especially for those, uh, looking to become parents, right? Or maybe you're, you're a parent for the second or third time you're in your second or third child and you're looking to just kind of go about it in a different way. One of the things that I always talk about is just raising kids that have very high standards in life. If you raise children that have very high standards in life, those standards that they set for themselves or that you, that you sort of cultivate in them, those standards will, will help guide them and sort of be like guardrails throughout the course of their lives. So think about it, if they have a standard for how clean they keep their home right, or their, their room. If, if that's a standard being organized. Is being organized and living in a clean environment going to have an effect on your life? I would, I would argue to say yes. It, it will have an effect on your life because I, I'm a firm believer that a cluttered home is a cluttered mine, a cluttered mine is a cluttered life. You, you're probably going to thrive a lot more, be a lot more organized and feel like you have a sense of control of your life if you have a clean environment. So that can become a standard. Now, what if your child's standard is to always be healthy? Like my children, you know, not to say I'm all perfect here, but, um, I don't eat like sweets and stuff like that, and my children know that about me, so they don't even ask. And you know, I, they, they eat, they're kids, so we let them eat sweetss. Um, not every day, but they do eat sweets from time to time. And, you know, I, I once ate sweetss as a, as a child. But one thing that is important for me is for them to see, like my standards as I got older in life. Like I let go of the sweets and I explain to them why, you know, when it comes to just overall health. And that became sort of a standard in my life and, and I have certain health standards. So I explained to them the reason why I work out and the importance of just looking your best and feeling your best and, and having a health standard. Are your children going to be better just by having a health standard for what they eat and the amount of exercise that they get? Or even a spiritual standard if it's, let's say, going to a church or a synagogue, a mosque, whatever's their thing every single week or prayer and meditation. Is, is that a standard? I know in my household, prayer before meals is, is a standard that we had set for ourselves. Okay, so what are the standards when it comes to just every dimension of life? If you can have that in a child, it, it sort of like becomes unconscious competence. That child doesn't even have to think about those very things because it's just such a part of who they are, such a part of their identity. And I remember learning from, uh, my mentor years ago, he, he always says that one of the most powerful forces in, in the universe is a human's personality's desire to be congruent with who it believes it is. So you're oftentimes going to do things that are in alignment with your identity identity. Think about this. How many people you know that when, when you went to school with them way back in the day, it may have been high school and they were known for dressing really nice and you meet them, you know, 10, 20, 30 years later. And they still have that same standard, right? They still dress really, really nice. The same standard that, that they've had from the very beginning. We all know women who are, who are divas, or you have guys who are GQs and they like to, you know, have, uh, always a clean beard, a clean shave, and, and dress really nice. And that becomes a standard. And that one standard will carry you. It's like, it's like flowing with a river. When you have standards in your life, the river will carry you and the river is symbolic for your standards. Your standards will carry you. When motivation can no longer push you, your standards will pull you that. That's essentially the way it works, and when you don't have any standards, it's like going against the river. You have so much more resistance. Okay, so remember people feel stuck, not because they lack talent, but because they keep negotiating with their lower self. They keep negotiating. So what's a non-negotiable for you? It's like in relationships. Your relationship, you're gonna, you're gonna thrive a lot more in that relationship. If your relationship has clear boundaries. What's a non-negotiable? In fact, you could spare yourself from a lot of heartache. If you go into a relationship making those boundaries very clear, like, look, this is what I'm willing to tolerate. This is what I'm not right. This is a non-negotiable for me, and we all have them. Okay? The question is, are those non-negotiables really serving you throughout your life? Now, one of the things that I will say when it, when it came to just the way, like certain things that I, I kind of like tolerated. Um, like in the, in the early stages when you're on the come up, you know, I may have tolerated just allowing people to speak to me a certain way. I remember, I, I used to work as a, as a, you know, as a merchant Mariner on the water. And there was a point in time where I was training under certain captains. And these captains were super disrespectful, right. And there was some times I would, I would just tolerate it because I was looking to get a promotion, I was looking to be trained by them, and I just kind of, you know, ate it. It was just like, well, it is what it is. And. One thing that I can tell you is as I got older and I, I became more mature, there was just less and less that I was willing to tolerate in terms of the way people communicated with me. I made it very clear like, you're not going to talk to me any type of way. So I, I developed a, a standard for what I was willing to tolerate or, or teaching people how to treat me, in other words, okay. That became a standard. Now I remember there was a standard even for the way that I dressed. I remember I was a lot more hippie back in the day, and sometimes I look at my pictures and I, and I cringe because I was just like, how the hell did people, so many people still follow me in business, even though I had more of a hippie vibe. Right. Um, and, and now I would say I'm a little bit more polished and it definitely does help to be a little bit more polished if you wanna attract more sophisticated people to you. Um, so that was a standard at one point in time, just the way that I carried myself. I just was a lot more scrappy in those early days. A lot, a lot more, uh, just lenient or, you know, just willing to wear whatever. So that, that was a standard. And then eventually I had to raise my standard. I also had. A standard for, um, I remember in the early days, I, I would pay, um, or I would avoid all tolls. Like I just had this thing, I had more of a scarcity mindset where I would always take the longer route, especially like I lived in New York at the time and in New York, the tolls are ridiculous. I mean, these bridges and tolls, uh, they, they're absolutely ridiculous. You know, there's a lot of alternative routes that will probably add another 30 minutes, 40 minutes sometimes to your journey. And I would literally just to save six bucks, I, I would go and take the longer route. And it's because I had like my, I didn't value my time as, as much, right? My, my standard, I lived in a, in a much more scarcity, uh, frame of mind. Where I was willing to just say, you know what? Let me just save the money these days. I'll pay whatever just to save the time, just to avoid traffic, because that's like a new standard that I set for myself. So you have to reflect and do some self inventory of certain standards in your life, whether it's your faith, your fitness, your family, your fortune standards for even your fun. I know one of the things that have served me really well was, um, I had a standard for the amount of travel that I would do every year, like I had to go to a new country every single year that, that became a minimum standard for me, and honestly, it was one of the best things that I could have done. Reason being is because when I reflected back on my life, I, I never felt like I wasted any years because every single year. There was something different, somewhere different that I went or some, some, some new experience that I had developed. Right? So that became a standard, um, throughout my life and it kind of forced me to actually, uh, go out and travel. Think about how many times people will say, well, this year I'm gonna go on vacation, or this year I'm gonna travel. And they ended up just putting it on the back burner because it's not a must. And if there's anything that I learned throughout the course of my life that has served me really well. Is that people don't get their shoulds, they get their must. A mentor of mine, he would always say that people, they, they have so many things that are shoulds that should be must, where they get to the point where they end up shoulding on themselves. Right? Because it's, it's like everything is a should. It's like, oh yeah, I should go and work out. Right? But when it's a must, you're, you're going to get into that gym. Oh, I should eat healthier. But when it's a must, and oftentimes people wait till the, till the very last minute. Again, it's this idea of the Parkinson's effect. People wait till the very last minute to finally make a change. And my my recommendation is don't allow that to be you. Don't, don't wait for life to put you in a position where you're operating out of desperation instead of inspiration. Oftentimes that's what's, that's what's happening because people, biologically speaking, people will do far more to avoid pain than to gain pleasure. So that's why we wait to the very last minute, because think about it, it's like the pain of the repercussions and the consequences far outweighs the pain of the discipline. Think about how people all around the world, people who aren't even punctual people, but still show up to that job every single day. People who absolutely despise their job, but they still show up every single day. Why is that? Because of the pain of poverty. The pain of not being able to pay them their bills far exceeds the pain of discipline of getting up. There are people who will party all night and maybe have gotten two hours of sleep. And they still find themselves getting up even through that temporary discomfort just to ensure that they get to work. How many of us can relate to that? Okay. So that's something that's super important to understand. Now, before we get into the next segment, I just wanna make a, a quick pit stop here. So, uh, a lot of people that tune into the the Breakfast Club, tune into my podcast every single week. Um, you guys have something that you're working on, right? We all set different types of new year resolutions at the beginning of the year, or maybe you just have goals. Maybe they're not New Year resolutions, but they just have goals that you wanna accomplish this week. Now, think about this. What is going to be the main thing that stops you from actually accomplishing that goal? I can tell you right now as a coach, as someone who's worked with many people, many high performance over the years, typically it's either clarity, it's direction, you may have distractions or you struggle with discipline. Okay, and this is the reason why I'm such a huge advocate for coaching. I think that every single person in the world should have some type of a coach, someone that's going to help guide them from where they are to where they wanna be. So with our community, my gift to you guys always is from time to time, I offer complimentary coaching sessions, strategy calls, just to help you on your journey, whatever it is that you're working on. And, um, I, I have a certain amount of slots every single week that I dedicate to this. This has been my life's work, you know, just paying it forward to the community. So, um, if you would like a complimentary coaching session, DM me, whether it's Facebook, Instagram, wherever, DM me on social media, uh, the word coach and I can send you, um, my, my. Calendar so that you can get booked for a complimentary coaching session, especially if it's been a while for you. So some of you guys have met with me in the past. It may have been, let's say, at least six months since we last, you know, got together. So, uh, send me a direct message, uh, with the word coach and I'll be more than happy, uh, to, you know, provide you with a complimentary coaching session. Another thing is, um, what I've been doing is I've been, uh, opening a certain amount of. Slots in my schedule for these five day challenges, and it's really working with you guys one-on-one, right? You work with me one-on-one on a specific goal that you set for this year. So that may be a business goal. That may be you wanting to write a book or launch a podcast or, uh, just take your life to the next level. It could be health related, and it's you working with me one-on-one for an entire week. For five days and, uh, I have been getting, uh, booked out weeks in advance. So, uh, if you have interest in, uh, participating in that, just dm me the word challenge and I'll send you more information on how you can be a part of that. Okay? So, uh, again. Uh, when it comes to just your overall goals, sometimes you do need that coaching to help you, right? With clarity, with direction, with execution. It really has been a blessing in my life, having tons of coaches, mentors, mastermind communities, and accountability groups, just to ensure that I follow through on these things. All right, let's keep the show on the road. Next up, we have standards are identity, not effort. Standards are identity. Not effort. High performers don't rely on motivation. They remove options. Okay? So for example, a man or a woman who sometimes works out has a goal, right? But a man or a woman who does not miss workouts has a standard. It's a huge difference. Okay? So, uh, again, one is a should, one is a must. There are just some people that are absolutely crazy when it comes to their, their fitness regimens. Now, I'm one of those people that I'm like a three to four time a week workout guy on average. Now, there's some weeks that I may be cranking it up or maybe I have a workout buddy for the week, and I may be working, let's say six out of the seven days of the week. But on most days, I would say at a minimum it's like three to four days. Now that's become a standard, and the reason why I bring that up is because. That standard, just, just me being so conditioned to work out at least three to four times out of the week has, has allowed me to get to a point where if I go, let's just say too many days out of the week without exercising, I start to feel off and that standard will naturally reel me back in to staying on track. Even though I, I may even have a bad week. Let's say life is life in and I have a really bad week, or maybe I'm traveling and I just don't have the ability to work out as much, that standard will naturally reel me back. And that's the importance of having standards. There's sort of like anchors to keep you on track with, with your overall identity and your North Star for your life. So it can be the same with. Let's just say your, your standards for your, your faith. You, you probably have a specific faith or you have specific values that are, are such a strong standard and think about your overall life. Are, are you gonna be better off in relationships by having a standard for that relationship or just strictly having boundaries? You're gonna have a much better outcome, having those standards and boundaries. So again, standards will carry you throughout your life. It's not about discipline, it's about self definition. How do you define your values? Okay. Standards, eliminate negotiation. Standards are, are like the idea that we're not negotiating here. This is, this is who I am, this is what I'm about, this is what I represent. It's like, for me, my integrity is a standard. There's just certain things that I'm not willing to compromise on when it comes to my integrity. It's just, there's just no way in hell there. There's so many moments throughout my life where I could have taken shortcuts and it's just, it's, it's not a standard. Shortcuts just aren't a part of, of my, my paradigm. So, uh, for me, um, standards, again have, have helped put those boundaries, those guardrails in place to ensure that I don't deviate too far off track. Now remember this, you don't rise to your goals, you fall to your standards. You don't rise to your goals, you fall to your standards. So. It's the difference between, let's just say, saying, well, this year I wanna work on my credit. Right? Well, what if your standard is, I don't care what's going on in the world, I'm never gonna ruin my credit. Right. Or I'm always going to be on top of my taxes. Okay. And sometimes throughout the course of the, of your life, you may, you may have hit a rough patch, you may have hit a winter season, and sometimes we lower our standards and we forget who we are. We forget how far we've come and, and we, we sort of get a, a bit cloudy, and that's when we feel off. Think about it when, when there are those seasons where you're feeling depressed or you feel like you're in a funk, or you feel, you feel like you just can't move forward. Sometimes it's, it's those seasons where you've lowered your standards and you just forget who you are. You forget what you stand for. Sometimes we need those subtle reminders, and I hope that if there's anything that this session today does for you is that it reminds you of your standards. It reminds you of your self worth. Sometimes we need that reminder. Sometimes we may be in a relationship that's so damn toxic that that relationship makes us forget who we are. How many of you can relate to that? Drop a. Drop a one in the comments. If you can relate to a moment in time in your life. Where a relationship may have made you cloudy or that relationship may have distorted just your, your overall views of yourself to the point where you've lowered your standards. I know I've had many moments in my life where I've lowered my standards. Right. Maybe you're, you're just so engaged with, with. That toxic relationship and, and you, you kind of deviate off of your path of what you stand for as a person. So we've all had those moments, but the main thing is really to find our way back, right? To, to sort of un fog the mirror and get more clarity on, on who we are and what, what, what was unique about those moments in our lives that brought us the most joy. Brought us the most contentment. And oftentimes though, those were the seasons where we were living in alignment with our values. Those were the seasons where you were living in alignment with who you believed you, you were as a person, you were growing, you were flourishing. So remember again, you don't rise to your goals, you fall to your standards. That's the important part of this entire session to understand. You wanna let that line breathe, let it marinate, right? You're not rising to your goals, you're falling to your standards. Okay? So think about it. What? What? How do you show up on your very worst day? That's the idea. Who are you on your very worst day when you no longer feel like doing something, but you do it anyway because you're doing what you know, not what you feel, and you wanna get to that point. Now, here are three practical life hacks to raise your standards. Number one is the no negotiation rule. The no negotiation rule. So choose one area of life and remove the option to skip. So for an, an example would be, um, I don't miss Tuesday workouts. Okay. Or I don't go to bed without reading, or I don't tolerate disrespect. That's a big one for me. Okay. So choose one area of life, okay? And it, it could be, again, your fitness, it can be your intellectual life. It can be just your relations or relationships. And start with one non-negotiable. What's going to be a new standard, a new non-negotiable in your life? Now remember this standards scale through consistency. Standards scale through consistency. So it's not about just doing it once or twice. It's about these standards becoming a way of life. They become a way of life. They become what you represent. They become your, your software, if you will, and you have to upgrade your software from time to time. You may be operating in outdated software and you're wondering why you aren't getting new results. It's because the software that you're operating on is outdated software. So when was the last time you've upgraded your software? Second life hack Environmental elevation. Remember this, your standards drop to the level of your environment, so you may have to upgrade who you spend time with. Law of association. We hear it all the time. Birds of the feather flock together. You are the company. You keep, show me your friends, I'll show you your future. That's the idea. If you're hanging around nine broke people, you're bound to be the 10th. If you're hanging around nine unhealthy be people, you're probably going to be the 10th. So, so it is important to be mindful of hanging around people who have what you want out of life. Also, you may have to upgrade what you consume. So again, my, my, my standard for what I put in my body, there's just certain things that I don't like. I'm big on like fried food. I don't, I very seldom eat fried food or a bunch of, uh, food that like, I, I don't do the, I used to eat back in the day a lot of microwavable food and it's crazy to even think like. That I was subjecting myself to eating like food that wasn't even real food, right? We'd all ate those, those hungry mans back in the day and pop'em in the microwave. They'll be ready in just a few minutes and highly processed, right? Not, not very nutritious, and that that was just something that I had very low standards on, was what I was putting in my body and sometimes. Awareness really helps you raise your standards. Sometimes we just don't have the awareness. There was no one who taught us these things. Right? Do y'all remember like how we used to eat back in the day in the nineties? Like there was no, I don't know about y'all, but I, there was no boundaries in my household for how we ate, like we ate whatever, whenever, right? Had no type of awareness around plant-based foods or what was nutritious. You just ate what you ate. You, you, you, you'd have skittles for breakfast. You'd have orange soda and replacement of water every day. You'd have, you know, um, you'd be eating Doritos and ice cream right before going to bed at night at 2:00 AM There was just no type of awareness around self-care that that wasn't really a thing. Think about even mental health. There was, I, I don't remember once ever hearing the concept mental health. Or vegan or anything like that, like that, that just wasn't a thing growing up. So sometimes having more awareness is really what helps you elevate your standard. When I started to understand like how detrimental eating certain foods was to my overall life, yeah, it just, it, it just naturally fell off. I was like, never again. Like, I'm, I'm good on that, right? So what you consume is a big part of it. Also, you may have to upgrade where you work. And sometimes it may be not be necessarily switching companies. Sometimes it's just switching the, the, the environment. Maybe working from home is not very productive for you. I know for me, I can't work from home very long. I have to bounce around. I have to be in a coffee shop. I have to be around just energy and, and motion be around other people. So where you work plays a big part. Okay? So you may have to upgrade that or sometimes is what you look at daily. I know I, I mentioned here on the Breakfast Club all the time, as much as I be on social media posting content, like I delete my app multiple, multiple times throughout the course of the week, sometimes multiple times throughout the day, if I find myself doom scrolling, you know, I immediately, I like, I'll delete the app and then just redownload it when I need to post something. So what you consume, what you look at daily. Sometimes it's just what you're listening to on the radio. It's what you're looking at on television or even watching television at all. I, I had went years and years where, um, I remember like I was super obsessed with personal development. I, I, I was in, in an environment where personal development. Was like religion, right? People were so adamant about how many pages you read every, every day. How, how many audio books, like it was a beautiful time because people were growing, they were elevating, but sometimes it was a bit extreme like. Oh, you, you gotta throw away your television. Right? And it wasn't until like years later I started to understand that the value of just decompressing the value of taking your mind off of certain things, uh, you know, and just, just enjoying a good show, right? The, the value of even watching a good comedy sitting down with your significant other and being human. Right. So this is not to downplay the, the value of watching television from time to time. I, these days, I actually, I, I schedule those things in. I actually enjoy watching a good show, right? But you have to put boundaries on certain things, right? You have to have a standard for how much television you watch. You can't just be there watching TV for four hours a day, or scrolling through social media three hours a day expecting to thrive when it comes to your dreams. So what you look at daily is super important. Now, here's a big takeaway. Your nervous system adapts to your surroundings. So if you normalize mediocrity, you'll perform at mediocrity. Think about your, your environment. Think about the, the friends that you keep, the company that you keep. Is mediocrity a standard? Is mediocrity the norm? Because if it is, you may have to upgrade your circle, okay? It's not to say that you have to cut off everybody you've, you know, hung out with. However, sometimes you have to love friends at a distance because you wanna get to the next level in your life. And if you're around nine comfortable people, you're probably going to be the 10th. It's just the way it works. So next is raise the floor, not the ceiling. Raise the floor and not the ceiling. That's the idea. So most people focus, for example, on peak performance, right? Just, just taking as much action as possible instead of focusing instead on their worst days. So for example, uh, when, whenever I set goals with clients that I'm working with, I always set goals for things that you can do on your very worst day. Things that you can do when you don't feel like showing up. Things that you can do when life is life in. What can you do on your worst day? What does that look like? Maybe your business requires you to reach out to a certain amount of prospects every single day. Well, it probably would be wise to not set this ridiculous goal for yourself that you're not going to be able to achieve. Think of the, the idea of smart goals, right? There's specific, they're measurable. The A stands for attainable. The smart acronym specific, measurable, attainable, maybe results oriented right and time sensitive. And there's a few variations of it, but the attainable part is the biggest takeaway. You want to set goals that are attainable even on your worst days. So rather than saying, well, I'm gonna go to the gym for two hours every single day, how about if your floor now became, okay, I'm gonna make sure I go into the gym for at least 30 minutes. I'm going to do at least five different workouts. So for me, I, I no longer go to the gym and set like a time for me, it's a certain amount of workouts, right? So I'll, I'll do, for example, 10 minutes on, 10 minute cardio, just cycling, like that's, that's my, my typical cardio. And I'll just walk around the neighborhood for like 30 to 45 minutes. That's kind of like my, my daily cardio. But then while I'm working out. Let's say I'm doing arms or, or, or arms or, or shoulders or chest and back. I'll do a combination of four to five workouts. It'll be eight to 12 reps, four sets, and that's kind of like the standard. And as long as I meet that standard, sometimes I'm super setting so that I'm not in the gym for an hour, right? I can be in and out within 30 minutes because it's very intentional. There's a certain standard. For me, it's always ensuring that, okay, I don't neglect this part of my health, and I get into the gym at least three to four times a week, and these are the amount of workouts that I do, and that becomes a standard. Now, there are days where you do far more than that. Again, you may be working out with somebody and they push you, and that's a beautiful thing. But what is your floor? What is your floor? So what's the minimum? You wanna ask yourself, what is the minimum version of me that still performs? The minimum version of you that still performs. And we all have different areas of our lives that we still perform even on our worst days. So it's like if you, if you're a parent, right? You have a standard of, as a parent. If you're a good parent, you're probably not gonna leave your child waiting for three hours for you until you finally pick them up from school without any type of communication, right? That's a standard. Making sure that you pick your kids up every single day, making sure that you're not late to work. That's a standard. We have standards pretty much for all kinds of stuff now. The goal is really to raise the standard for the things that you wanna improve in your life. So if you wanna improve your finances, you have to. Develop a new standard for your life. Maybe the standard is you budgeting every week. Maybe the standard is how much money you spend every single day, ensuring that you never go beneath that floor. Maybe your standard is avoiding all impulsive spending. Okay, so if you guys are getting value so far, drop a v in the comments for value. Just wanna make sure y'all are still with me here. And again, if you don't mind, drop a like, comment, share, tag someone who can get value from today's session. So far, it most certainly helps, uh, get the word out. There's so many people who can use this. Tuesday, motivation every single week. I know the Breakfast Club has been a blessing to a lot of people every single week, but before, you know, they get their, their week rolling or their day rolling. They're tuning into a breakfast club. Episode or session that we've done, you know, over the, the last several years. And, uh, there's no way that people would know about it, of course, if they're not exposed to it or introduced to it. So, so many of you guys who tune in today, you probably found out about it because it was shared on someone else's social media. So I appreciate those of you who consistently share the Breakfast Club. Now, high standards aren't about being perfect. They're about refusing to collapse. That's so good. That's so good. I'll, I'll share, I'll share like just some real life stuff with y'all. Uh, yesterday I was having a very off day. It was just one of those days. I don't know if you guys randomly, every, every once in a blue, even though you may be a disciplined person, every once in a blue you're gonna have those days where you, you just don't feel like getting out of bed. And yesterday I was just having a off day and I was there. Laying in my bed, just kind of watching some, uh, YouTube videos on some, some stuff that I was learning. I was actually studying, uh, ancient Greek philosophy. Uh, so like Plato and Aristotle, I kind of geek out sometimes about these things. And um, you know, I was just laying there and I knew that I had to get work done, but I just was not feeling like it. And then at some point in time, something just clicked and I was like, nah, bro, get yourself dressed. Go to the coffee shop, it's go time, you know, and, and it's because it's such a part of my identity to always be productive. Even on my worst day, it's like I'll still find my way back to the light, find my way back to the, the, the, the very anchor of my standards. Okay, so here are a few fun facts. Now, uh, your brain hates inconsistency. Remember that studies and behavioral psychology show that identity-based habits are far more sustainable than outcome-based habits. So that's the idea. Identity-based habits so much more powerful and your identity remember, will pull you when motivation will no longer push you. Okay? Motivation is good. There are gonna be a lot of days where you just have zero motivation, but your identity will say, you know what? You're still gonna get out of bed because this is a part of who you are. Now when you say, um, I am someone who trains, instead of I'm trying to work out. Huge difference. Okay? That's the idea. Now compliance increases dramatically when you have that mindset, okay? When that becomes a standard. Here's another fun fact. People subconsciously earn close to what they believe they deserve. How powerful is that? So my question to you is, if you're not currently earning what it is that you wanna earn, what do you believe you deserve? Because chances are, if you don't believe you deserve, you know what it is that, uh, you want or what it is that, that you have. How are you ultimately going to continue to, you know, have that very thing? You have to believe that you're worthy of it. Okay. So it, it's, it's, it's, it's a lot more subconscious than it is conscious. It's, it's a big part of who you are. Now, behavioral economics research shows income tends to hover around a person's internal financial self-image. I remember this reminds me of when I first started, uh, coaching, when I first started coaching. I, I, I remember feeling a little bit of that imposter syndrome, like, who am I to charge, you know, these high rates? And then I, I remember coming across people in this mastermind that I was a part of, um, who are making a lot of money from coaching and consulting with half the talent, half the talent, half the skill, half the reputation. And they were doing very well. And the biggest difference was that they believed that they could. They believed that, that their value was worth what it was that they were charging. So it was, it was really reframing the way that I looked at the, the, the value that I had. Okay, so it's your financial self image. Now raise your standard of what you deserve and that will lead to those behavioral shifts. You have to not only, not, not only what you deserve from a financial standpoint, but even in terms of relationships. Do you deserve that you're worthy of a high value woman or a high value man? Do, do you believe that you're, you're worthy of that six figure job or that seven figure business? Do you believe that you're worthy of, of being a leader in your household or a leader in your community? It all starts with worth. And here's the last fun fact. We adapt to higher environments faster than we think. So psychologists call this the contrast effect, and basically the way it works is when you place yourself around high performers, your perception of normal changes quickly. How? How often are you around high performers? People who are just operating at a very high level? And I, I can tell you right now, whenever I'm around go-getters, like I just naturally get more inspired sometimes in life. It, it, it's, it's not that you're not productive, it's not that you're not capable, it's just you're not around people or you're not in an environment that fosters high performance. You're not around enough people that are go-getters that are hustlers. I know for me, a, a lot of my hustle comes from just growing up in New York City, growing up in Brooklyn, growing up around people who every day they hustled every day. You, you were doing something and, and it's, it's interesting when I, when I reflect back on my life, um, just even in my environment, New York, if there's anything that it had done to me in terms of my standard, is it. It created a standard for the way that I dressed because when you were a kid growing up in, in Brooklyn or growing up in the boroughs of New York. You, you would get roasted, like they, you would get roasted, um, you know, for, or, or, uh, back in the day they would say, you know, um, you, you know, they would cut your ass, right? In other words, uh, if you're from New York, you could appreciate it. So, you know, that was the, that was the, the terminology. Like we didn't really use roasted. We are a little bit more, more descriptive with it. But, uh, all in all. Like kids made fun of you if you didn't dress a certain way or you didn't wear, uh, you know, a certain outfit. But, you know, when I look at the positive side of that, one of the things that, that I think was a, was a, was a positive was it sort of raised your standard for the way you carried yourself. It was very different from a lot of different parts of. The, the country, like, you know, you may go to certain parts of the country and like in, in New York, if you were in the ghetto, right? If you lived in the hood, you still dressed really nice oftentimes, like you, you didn't let yourself go completely go, right? Like, because fashion is so embedded in the culture, right? Like dressing nice is a, is so embedded in the culture. It it's a very fashion based, fashion based culture in, in New York City. Right. So that's a big part of it. Um, now also I think of hustle. It's like hustle became a standard for growing up in, in the city. Now there are certain values that I don't necessarily agree with anymore. And you kind of adapt your values, but you take away some of the good parts. So I love the fact that I, I still have that hustle. I still have that standard for the way that I dress and everything like that. Or, you know, certain, uh, women the way they, they put their hair together or guys having a fresh cut, uh, fresh haircut or a fresh, you know, beard not letting themselves get washed up, right. As we would oftentimes say. So that becomes a standard. So what are some of the good standards that maybe you've adopted from your parents or from your childhood or from your environment that you can take and then create some new ones? Maybe there's certain standards that you raise or certain things that you no longer tolerate, right? Certain values that you, you may take on because you're getting older and you, you have different priorities, different things that you value as as you get older. So that's a big part of it. Now, um, exposure upgrades, standards. So you've gotta get more exposure. You have to become more culture. That's the beautiful thing about travel. That's the beautiful thing about just elevating your circle is as you get around a lot more sophisticated people, you tend to, um, upgrade your, your standards because of that exposure. So your very etiquette, your manners, all of these different things. And, and that's the beautiful thing about getting around different cultures. You start to see and, and you start to get exposed to different ways of living and there are different ways of living that just makes sense to you. Right? Like living in The Bahamas for close to 10 years, I had, I had worked a lot on my manners, right? And manners weren't really a big thing in New York, but you go to the islands and you live in the Caribbean for a period of time, like manners is a big, big part of your everyday experience. Right. When you walk into a room, you're gonna say, you know, good morning, good afternoon, good day, goodnight, whatever. It, it's a big part of the culture, right? And I, and I love that part of the culture, and I adopted those standards and passed them on to my kids, right? So again, sometimes you evolve your standards, sometimes you raise your standards, sometimes you take on new values, you know, and the goal should never be to stay the same. The goal should be to become a more valuable person over time. A person of high value, a person of high standards. High, high, high worth. Okay, next we have raising standards without becoming arrogant because I mean, let's be honest, some people, uh, get too damn bougie for their own good, right? Um, so this is an important nuance. Um, so high standards understand this don't necessarily have to equal ego. High standards isn't about ego. High standards is about self-respect. It's about dignity, having self-respect and valuing, valuing yourself, okay? So you can be kind, but also be firm. You can be patient while also being decisive and you can be loving and also boundaried. So the real flex is quiet elevation. It's not about being a person that, that's all high acidity, feeling like you're better than everybody else. No, it's confidence. Over cockiness, right? It's competence as well, right? It's it's character. That's what it's about. So as we close out, remember this, you don't need a new year. You don't need a new plan. You need a new baseline. We've gotta raise the floor for what you're willing to tolerate in your life, what you're willing to accept, raising your standards. Because when you raise your standards. You raise your life, right? A rising tide raises all ships. Allow that rising tide in this season to be the standards for you set, you, set for yourself. Whether it's the standards for your, again, your family life, your fitness, your, your fortune, your faith, all of these different things. Your fun, right? Raise your standards and those standards will, again carry you like a river. You don't have to work as hard because your standards are always going to be there as guardrails. They, they, they cultivate this unconscious competence where you no longer even have to think about these things because there's such a part of who you are. So what is one standard you are going to decide to raise today in your life? Not tomorrow. Today. Okay. Drop a comment in the comments if you, you can think of one standard you're willing to raise today and work on that and see how it goes. Okay? So ladies and gentlemen, breakfast is officially served. I hope that you got value from this. If you got value, drop a V for value, drop a comment. I read through all the comments, by the way. So it's definitely greatly appreciated. Uh, like the YouTube. Video or subscribe to the channel if you, you've been enjoying these sessions. Thank you so much. Uh, for those of you who tune in and share the Breakfast Club every single week, it's definitely appreciated. And once again, uh, if you want a complimentary coaching session, just dm me the word coach right now, even if you're watching the replay. It's all good. Um, I get a certain amount of slots, so it may not even be this week or next week, but we'll get you on the schedule at some point in time and I definitely look forward to catching up with many of you throughout the week. Take care. God bless breakfast to served guys.