How to Rebuild Confidence After Letting Yourself Down

https://calendly.com/javalentin/30min

Transcript

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today we are going to be covering how to rebuild confidence after letting yourself down. Okay, here we go. So to get us kick started, um, a lot of people are not stuck because they lack talent, intelligence, or opportunity. People are typically stuck because somewhere along the way they stop trusting themselves. Think about that for a second. Have you ever gotten to a place in your life where you just genuinely stop trusting yourself, whether it's with your dreams, whether it is with temptations, whether it is with just being disciplined and and lack of follow through or whatever it is, but have you ever gotten to a place where you genuinely couldn't trust yourself? I think that for, for a lot of people, um, if you haven't gotten to a place where you genuinely feel like you can't trust yourself, I don't think you've lived enough, because I know I most certainly, uh, have gone through many different seasons where you just kind of question yourself. You doubt yourself, and there's a reason for that. So I know that today is gonna add a lot of value to so many of you all, and let's jump into it. Okay? So understand this, once self-trust is broken. Everything gets harder. Decision making, confidence, discipline, relationships, business and growth gets a lot harder. So it's really about keeping those little promises to yourself along the way. Now. Um, somewhere along the way, a lot of people stop building trust, uh, within themselves. Not because they're weak, not because they're incapable, but because life hit them, disappointment wore them down, and now every decision feels heavier than it should. Today I want to talk about how to trust yourself Again, that's what the entire Breakfast Club session is going to be about this morning. Once again, uh, if you know of anyone who can get value from this, feel free to tag them, uh, in the posts. And I definitely appreciate all of you guys who always constantly show love, uh, by, you know, engaging with our content while I deliver it. So let's jump into it. Now, um, self-trust is one of the most important things a person can have because when you trust yourself, you move with more peace, more power, and more clarity. But when you don't trust yourself, you second guess everything. You hesitate, you overthink, you look outside of yourself or answers that should be built. And that's the thing, oftentimes when we, we stop trusting ourselves, our intuition, our own discernment, we end up just kind of going with other people's opinions and no one really knows what's best for you. Like you. Like we, I, I believe at our core, we genuinely know what's, what's in our best interest. Sometimes we may want an outsider's perspective just for confirmation or whatever the case may be, but, um, I do think that it's always important to just start within yourself, have a, have a genuine talk with yourself on what it is that you should be doing. Okay, so the main talk, the main talking points today, we're gonna be covering how self-trust gets broken. Signs you are no longer trusting yourself. Why self-trust matters so much. How to rebuild self-trust, right? And a lot of other things, uh, forgiving yourself for who you were, right. And learning to listen to yourself again. So let's get to it. Alright. How does, how self-trust gets broken? Self-trust usually doesn't break all at once. It breaks slowly. So, for example, think about this. We keep breaking promises, uh, to ourselves. How many of us have broken promises to ourselves? We may have set new year resolutions, or maybe we said we were in a toxic relationship and we were just like, you know what? Never again, never will I subject myself to being treated this way. And what ends up happening? You end up reverting back and then you kind of beat up on yourself. You have that sense of guilt or shame or you don't even know how to go to your friends who you told that you would never deal with that person again. But we've all had these moments, right? It's just called being a human being and that's okay, but how do you get out of that? Another, uh, example would be when we ignore what we know deep down. That ever happen to you, like, you know, something deep down at your core, but some inclination still lead you to doing that thing that you know you shouldn't be doing. And you go, you go against your deep instinct and then you kind of, again, beat up, beat up on yourself with, with guilt and shame because you didn't trust that instinct. Another example is we stay in situations that betray our values. Think about that hanging around certain environments or engaging in certain activities that are completely against our values and all of it leads to more guilt, more shame. We let fear make too many decisions. Think about that for a second. Think about how, how much fear actually drives your life or how, how much it can drive your life if you allow it to. And this is a big, big part of the equation. When whenever you're pursuing anything, understand that there's going to be resistance that you have to navigate through. There's going to be resistance every single day. The obstacle is the way when it comes to your dreams. But the thing about it is we get caught up with distractions. We get up, we get caught up with procrastination and really distractions, procrastination. These things are sort of like overalls. They're, they're, they're there covering up the inner fear that we have. The inner fear that, well, maybe what if, what if I don't become successful? What if I become successful and I can't handle it? And then it's covered up with procrastination. It's covered up with, with all of these different things that prevent you from doing the work. So you have to be mindful of that. You have to really get to the core of what's preventing you from doing what you need to do. It's, it's not necessarily that you struggle with procrastination. It may very well be your nervous system signaling to your body and your mind that this is dangerous. Going into uncharted territory is not safe. You have to go to the core of it. Another example is when we fail a few times and start identifying with failure. Think about that, how easy it is to fall into the trap of identifying with your failure because you've let yourself down so many times. Now, here's a great point. Every time you tell yourself you're going to do something and you don't do it, you weaken your relationship with yourself. So it's important to make sure that you follow through no matter how small, no matter how subtle you are, impeccable with your word. There's a really good book that I love. I always recommend it. It's The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz, and one of the agreements from the Toltech Wisdom is being in impeccable with your word. Your word is so, so powerful, and. Even though it's, it's super important to honor your integrity and your word with other people is even more important to honor your integrity with yourself, honor your word with yourself. Because if you can't trust you, think about it. Are you really gonna be trustworthy to anyone? You, you have to first start by being able to trust yourself, and it starts with those small victories. It starts with following through on what you said you would do, following through on those promises you made to yourself. So that's major, because eventually your mind will start saying, why should I believe you now? Why should I believe you? Now, how do I know that this isn't like every other time where your words just kind of are, are very shallow. They fall on deaf ears. They don't have any weight. So it is essential right to, to get those wins because those winds are are reinforcement for decisions later down the road. Now, here's a really great fun fact. Your brain builds confidence through repetition. And proof, not positive thinking alone. Repeated follow through teaches your mind that you are safe to trust. How powerful is that now moving forward? Signs you are no longer trusting yourself. Here's a few signs. First, you overthink simple decisions, the simplest decisions. You need everybody else's advice rather than just taking your own advice, right? It's, it's like you have to always consult with other people just to make simple decisions. Okay? Here's another one. You constantly ask other people what you should do. Right. Same idea. You feel anxious. Every time you need to make a move. You start things but struggle to finish. How many of us can relate to that? You start it, but then the moment distractions kick in the moment too much resistance kicks, kicks in. We don't follow through. You doubt your instincts. You hesitate when opportunities are right in front of you. Or you need outside validation before taking action. These are all signs, right, that you are no longer trusting yourself. Here, here's a powerful takeaway. When self-trust is low, even small decision, decision decisions can feel overwhelming. Okay, so that's why it is important to build that self-trust so that you can make even the most subtle decisions, especially for those of you who run households, could you imagine not being able to trust in your own decisions and you're responsible for other people? So it's super, super important. Now, why self-trust matters so much? Understand that self-trust affects everything. When you trust yourself, you recover from setbacks faster. When you trust yourself, you make decisions with more peace, you stop living with, uh, you stop living so reactively, you become more consistent and you stop needing everybody to approve your life. Now, I can tell you right now as an entrepreneur, one of the things that I've learned on my journey that has been super helpful to understand is there are really two. People are, not people but beings or two forces that I have to trust. The first is God. I, I just believe that if you have a trust that God is gonna work it out. If you just surrender to his will for your life, things naturally become better. And it also calms your nervous system. It, there's a piece that comes with surrender and just knowing that God is gonna work itself out, but. I believe faith without Works is dead. I believe that faith is sort of amplified when you also have that trust in yourself that you're going to do what it is that you need to do to make things happen. It's a, it's a powerful force when you bring those two together. Trust in God and trust in yourself. And every time I reflect back on my life, when I got through very difficult circumstances. It was that combination. It was me having the faith that God was gonna get me through, but also having the faith and the trust in myself that I would do the work necessary. Listen, you know, you're in bad shape when you get to a, a, a point in your life where you genuinely don't believe you're gonna do what, what it takes to participate in your own rescue. It's a very dark place to be, and I've been there. I know what that's like and when that moment comes. You have to reinforce your belief, and one of the ways that you reinforce your belief is understanding that you have a history with God. You have a history with your creator who has gotten you through every obstacle you could possibly imagine. You also have history with your own self following through a lot of things. Think about it. You've already gotten to the other side of every storm you've encountered. Throughout your life, maybe you're in the middle of a storm, because as you know, the old cliche saying states that you're either in a storm or you're coming out of a storm or you're getting ready to go into a storm. They're just one of three phases that you're going to be in this lifetime. But the reality is you've gotten through many storms throughout the course of your life. When I think about my own personal journey, uh, I always have to reflect on those wins In fact. I always suggest my my life hack of having a, a highlight reel, things that you've overcome in your life, a list of things, some of your greatest challenges, some of the greatest battles that you've won, some of the, the greatest obstacles God has gotten you through. And I like to read these things as a reminder to myself of how much I've actually done, how much I've overcome. And sometimes those are the legs to the table of belief that you need to hold that belief up. I'm going to get through. I can trust myself because you probably have gone through a lot of different circumstances and have had to put in a lot of work over the years to get to where you are today. So there's many reasons why you can trust yourself. Right, but they're also reinforcing ideas that strip us of that trust. Maybe you've had a lot of little moments where you've let yourself down or you've let a, a lot of other people down, but you can't let that define you. You can't stay there. Okay? So that's why it is important to go back and remind yourself from time to time that you've gotten through the worst circumstances. Like whenever, whenever I go through very difficult entrepreneurial seasons, for example. I have to remind myself, there was a point in time where I was working a job, working to build other people's dreams, and I was scared shitless of going all in on my dream, on going all in on myself. It takes a lot of courage, especially when you have children, especially when you have people depending on you, especially when you built your life up so much to the point where you have so much to lose your dignity, your, your, your pride. It almost feels sometimes. Like, man, I've got a lot to lose. However, that, that fear, although it can cripple you, you also have the ability to reflect on all the things you've gone through. And, and for me that's, that's, that's what it does for me. It's like it calms my nervous system knowing like, Hey, I've been through so much and I've gotten through every single time. This ain't gonna be nothing different. This is this, it may look different in terms of the circumstance, but in terms of the me overcoming it, that that will still remain, I will get through and, um, it's, it's powerful to, to have the right perspective, to really orient yourself during times where you're navigating through the valley and you're in those darkest moments. Maybe you're in the storm and you don't really know how to get through, but there's this unshakeable fate that you have. And the other week I was at an event. I had spoke to you guys about, I, I spoke at the Innovation Summit. Myron Golden was one of the speakers. He's been a great mentor from afar, uh, for many years now. And one of the things that he spoke about that I really took away in a major way was the idea of belief. And if you truly believe something, you can, you can tell your level of belief by your actions. Because if you truly believe what you say you believe, it's not about what you say, it's about what you actually do, because the action is really the fruit of, of that belief that you have. So think about it. If you knew you could succeed in your business because you had a, a clear path ahead, and you knew that if you just do the work, you will succeed. Why aren't you doing the work? Deep down, you may have this, this limiting belief that you can't trust yourself with. With it, you're not gonna follow through because you've let yourself down so many different times so that that belief sort of creeps in. And if you really wanna question your belief, look at your actions. It's like if you believe at your at with, with your heart and soul, at your core, that God is gonna get you through a very difficult circumstance. Why are you worried? Why are you worried? Why do we worry? And I had to, I had to really reevaluate my beliefs because I'm like, why am I stressed out and anxious or worried knowing that God is gonna get me through? And if I truly believe that, then it, it has to reflect in my actions. So it is good to do that, that self-inventory, take that, take that assessment on yourself, right? And question your, your actions and are those actions in alignment with what you truly believe. Okay? So if this is making sense, drop a one in the comments. I wanna make sure you guys are still with me across all social media platforms. Drop a one if this is making sense so far. Awesome, awesome. Appreciate you guys, and once again, drop a light, comment, share, tag, all of it. Most certainly helps. Appreciate you guys, for all of you who do show love consistently to the Breakfast Club, and for those of you who comment, I read through all the comments, so I truly appreciate it. Now remember this, confidence helps you look strong on the outside. Self-trust helps you stay strong on the inside. How powerful is that? Oftentimes we hear a lot about confidence, but we don't really hear that much about self-trust. Even, even now. I was, I was going through my notes yesterday and I was thinking to myself like, what can I talk about? And when the topic of self-trust came up, I was doing some research online and just different topics, and when the topic of self-trust came up, I'm like, man, I actually have never spoken about, like gone deep down the rabbit hole of self-trust and it's so, so important. I. Because the reality is success for a lot of people is a lonely journey. Many times it's just gonna be you out there and it feels like it's you against the world. And again, it's, it's not very glorious when you're by yourself and you're dealing with the, with the mundane and the nuance and you're, you're living a life sometimes of monotony where it's the same thing every day and you have to get up and motivate yourself. There's no boss. Telling you what you can and can't do. There's no one there to fire you. You have to employ yourself. You have to trust yourself. And I find that a lot of people, they can't take that great leap into entrepreneurship for the simple fact that they've been so indoctrinated with being told what to do by somebody else and losing that sense of self trust. And that's why it is essential to build that. For those of you especially who want to pursue your dream of, let's say, going full-time as an entrepreneur or being your own boss, you can't be your own boss without self-trust. It's just the reality of it. Okay, so how do you go about rebuilding that self trusts? And that's what I'm gonna get into right now. Now, this is gonna be the heart of today's session, so take notes as if you're gonna have to teach this. As you guys hear me say all the time, I take a lot of pride in the fact that we are a note-taking community. I like to treat this like, uh, a, a lecture hall, right? I, and maybe one day with ai, um, I can do these breakfast club sessions in a, in an actual lecture hall, uh, for you guys, a virtual lecture hall, but I. This, this right here, this is the real knowledge. Like I, I went to school for a lot of years. And one thing that I can tell you is I wish I had access to this information in my early, you know, teens and, and early twenties. Uh, I would've been a lot further ahead. So for those of you who are hopping on, it is truly a blessing to be able to get access to like free resources like this and take advantage of it by taking notes and actually processing what, what it is that you learn and teaching it. If, if there's anything that has been such a blessing for me, it's, it's everything that I learn. I teach, yesterday I was reading a book and I'm there like repeating the exact thing that I just read to my wife as we're going for a walk. And the reason why I do that partly is because. I know I'm helping her. She's busy homeschooling, busy cooking and just taking care of the household. And it is very difficult, uh, for her to spend as much time, let's say, like reading through this content. And I can kind of give her the simplified version of it. And the, the benefit for me is I also learn better. So by me repeating it, remember what you vocalize, you internalize. So it's so, so good to teach these concepts so that you can truly integrate them into your subconscious. You can integrate them into your lifestyle because learning is not just accumulating knowledge, right? True wisdom is when you can take that knowledge and actually apply it. That's how you know you've learned something. Is when you can process it. You can take it all in, but also apply it in the real world. And, and this is one of the best things that you can do. And I, I do this all the time, like with my clients. One of the things that I'm big on when I'm doing coaching sessions with clients, oftentimes I'm teaching them different frameworks and I'll have them repeat the frameworks to me and actually show me that they've, they've learned it because. Most people, when you teach'em something, it just kind of goes in one ear and leaves through the other. But if, if they have to teach it now, it shows that they're actually integrating that, that knowledge, right? So that's the biggest thing is whenever you learn something is do your best to just teach it to someone and it'll help you retain the information a lot better. Now when it comes to start, um, starting to make smaller promises, you don't wanna start with huge declarations. Start with small commitments. You can actually keep, what does that look like? Well, maybe you say, you know what, I wanna get healthy again. And that's not two hours in the gym. That may be a 20 minute walk. And then from that 20 minute walk, you may go to a 20 minute jog. And then from that 20 minute jog, you may very well start going into the gym. But small commitments. If you're running a business and the idea of reaching out to prospects freaks you out, and it's very scary. Well start with one prospect. If you're writing a book and it's very daunting, do not do something that's going to just really discourage you, right? You're setting these big, crazy goals for the day, and then you don't follow through, and then you lose that sense of self trusts and get discouraged. Set small goals, those micro wins for the day. And when you do that, it stacks and it builds momentum so that you can do those bigger tasks. So small commitments that you can actually keep. Now, here are a few other examples. Waking up when you say you will, waking up, when you say you will, people don't realize how detrimental it is to break those promises to yourself. Over and over and over, and we just kind of sweep'em under the rug because they don't seem very significant when they're small, however, they build momentum and that momentum leads to a lack of self-trust in yourself. Like I mentioned earlier, it could be going for a walk. It can be posting that piece of content. Maybe you've been putting off that piece of content for a while. And you can do something today. It could be a picture, it could be a video, whatever it is. Maybe it's sharing the breakfast club, but post some content, if that's your thing. Maybe it's making that call, reading for 10 minutes or sticking to one important task. Now, one of the things that have been beneficial for me as well has been I, I would have this productivity app. I think it's called productive, if I'm not mistaken, but you can have some equivalent to that where you track your progress for the day. And one thing that I've learned is when you get those small wins, you get that rush of dopamine and that rush of dopamine really it motivates you to do even bigger task. So what's one hard thing that you can do today that can help build that momentum? Now, here's a great takeaway. Self-trust is rebuilt through evidence. Self-trust is built or rebuilt. I should say through evidence, you build it by proving to yourself, I do what I say I'm going to do. Some of you guys will hear me joke and say, I'm a certified trigger puller. Like I'm not going to just beat around the bush or just like. Uh, I don't wanna use certain words on the Breakfast Club. I know we got some young folks on, but anyway, I don't wanna be the, the person that's just kind of like saying, I'm gonna do some and, and one foot in, one foot out, and it's like playing double Dutch. For those of you from New York, you know exactly what I'm talking about. Maybe you in your neighborhood, wherever you are or grew up. You had some form of double Dutch where you'd play and you're like waiting to jump in the rope for the perfect moment. And I remember there would be those kids that would just be there for like two or three minutes rather than just jumping in, right? They'd be there for two to three minutes, or it's like going into a cold pool. You can sit there and tippy toe, put your toe and toe dip in the pool, or you can just jump in and and go out with a bang with a big cannonball, right? There's two different postures that you're going into it with, so if you know you're gonna go into it, why not go in with that confidence and just go in full force? So I had to reprogram my mind to really remind myself that, you know what? I am a certified trigger puller. I do what I say I'm gonna do. I follow through on it. If I say I'm gonna do something, I do it. And that's where accountability kicks in. Having a community, it's like with the Breakfast Club, the Breakfast Club. I'll share a, a really great life hack for those of you who aspire to be content creators one day or full-time entrepreneurs or coaches. Here's a really, really great hack that that has been so effective. The reason why I'm still in this game, there's a lot of people, um, back in, during the pandemic, um, we had. I mean hundreds of thousands of people in our community, in our business community and, um, hundreds of thousands of people just kind of lost opportunity overnight. During the pandemic, we were in the travel business and everything kind of came crashing down. Now. During that time, I adapted. I pivoted. I'm a survivor. I grew up in the hood, and if there's anything that I learned and developed growing up in the hood is how to survive, how to adapt, and basically what I did was I just adapted and got heavy into coaching and consulting. It was the next best natural thing to do for myself because I was already mentoring and coaching people. I just wasn't really doing it on a full-time basis. So I hopped on and started providing content with our Breakfast Club community every single week. Same time, same day, every single week. Now, anybody could have done that. We had tons of certified trainers who were speaking all around the world, summon stadiums, stadiums around the world, and why didn't they pivot? Right? It could have been, oh, well, maybe they didn't think about it. Some actually started the process but just didn't stick it out. And my secret sauce honestly, was the accountability from the community. I had the same time, same day, and the community was expecting for me to show up every single week. And that accountability is the reason why I would get up, because I did not want that person going off to work. At 7:00 AM in the morning and they're looking forward to their breakfast club session and they're riding the train or they're sitting through traffic. I didn't wanna let them down. I didn't wanna let them down. And the human condition is this. We will do far more to avoid pain than to gain pleasure. And yeah, it is pleasurable to put out value, but sometimes you just genuinely don't wanna let people down. The pain of letting people down is significant enough where you actually do the work necessary. So accountability has been everything is, and that has allowed me to stay consistent after so many years. For those of you who have been following my work, you know. It's pretty damn consistent. It's very rare that I'll ever miss a Tuesday, and, and that consistency has paid off. That consistency has built a full-time coaching practice, right, with clients from all around the world. I can live in any city around the world and still produce revenue from my coaching and consulting. So, uh, accountability is something that you can leverage in your life to ensure that you follow through and you follow through long enough. You're gonna build a lot of trust in yourself, but set up those guardrails to ensure that you follow through, because sometimes left to our own demise like. We don't have the, the willpower to just muster up the strength to just do the things that we know that we should be doing. A great mentor of mine would always say, do what you know, not what you feel. And that's easier said than done because sometimes life is life in, sometimes you may be going through a breakup and all you wanna do is curl in a ball and cry, and it is very difficult to get yourself up. Sometimes you're going through challenges with, with, with finances. You just want to go in the closet and just sit there and hide from the world. How do you show up? How do you figure out a way where you can do things even on your worst day? Okay. And for me, having coaching, having accountability groups, mastermind communities, things to help be those guardrails for my life, to make sure that I follow through, and this is what builds the self-trust. Okay, so I just wanted to mention quick pit stop. Um, for those of you who've never done a coaching session with me, part of my gift to this community every single week, I offer a certain amount of coaching sessions complimentary, um, where we jump on and if you've ever had aspirations to. Be a full-time entrepreneur. Get into coaching, speaking, consulting. Get paid for your expertise. Learn how to monetize your community, your followers, social media, all of that stuff. If you ever wanted that and just didn't know where to start, book a session with me. Um, I love paying it forward to the next generation of people. There's so many people out there that have. So much knowledge, but you haven't figured out how to monetize your knowledge. I don't know why you haven't gone down this path, but it's a very lucrative path. Many of you guys follow me and my family over the years, and you see, we travel around the world. We homeschool our kids and when we're not homeschooling them. We're world schooling them. And, um, it's a beautiful thing and I just really want to pay it forward to the next generation, generation by helping you guys with that knowledge because, um, one thing that allowed me to get this far was having the right knowledge, specialized knowledge on how to create high ticket offers, whether it's coaching, speaking, or whatever, brand partnerships and all of that, and learning just from people who've done it before me. Has made the biggest difference. So you'd be amazed by just what One Call can do in your life. And if that's the case for you, let's hop on a call. I'll be, uh, you can dm me the word coach. I could always send you my Calendly link or, um, I may drop it in the de the description or the comment. So just take a look on there, um, as well, uh, directly after this. Okay? So next up we have stop abandoning yourself. Stop abandoning your yourself. Sometimes people know what's right, but they keep overriding their inner voice. Has that ever been the case for you? So some example examples would be saying yes, when you mean no. I always say, you gotta build your no muscle. You gotta get really, really good at saying no. I've learned that sometimes saying no is far more valuable than saying yes. There's a lot of, there's a lot of talk about just saying yes to opportunities, saying yes to certain things, but sometimes saying yes to a lot of things can end up turning you into a people pleaser. You could end up getting the disease to please and being a yes man, yes woman, and you do not wanna box yourself into that. Because again, you break that trust with yourself. Another thing is staying too long in draining relationships. Hello. I mean, how many of us have been through that staying too long in relationships that drain you? And it doesn't have to be intimate relationships. It could just be in friendships. Friendships that have served their season. Another thing is tolerating disrespect. I always say you have to teach people how to treat you. You have to be very, very particular about how you allow other people to talk with you or talk to you. Another thing is shrinking to keep others comfortable. Listen, you, you are not going to make an impact. Dimming your light. Shine that thing as scripture says, you gotta shine that thing thing for the world to see, right? Like that. That's, that's the thing. You can judge a tree by the fruit that it bears. But people have to be able to see some of the incredible things that you're doing. So don't just shrink yourself because you feel like you're being humble. Humility can be another form of ego as well, because you're trapped in people pleasing. So here's a powerful takeaway. Every time you betray what you know, deep down, you teach yourself not to trust your own voice. Powerful. Next up, let action repair what? Doubt damaged. Let action repair what? Doubt. Damage. A lot of people are waiting to feel confident first, but confidence often comes after movement. That's the thing. So rather than having paralysis of analysis, get yourself moving, take one small step and build that confidence as opposed to trying to get motivated and then take action. Okay? So you do not think your way into self-trust. You act your way into it. That's the big takeaway, man. These are some bars. Every aligned action becomes proof. Every aligned action becomes proof. Super important. Now, here's a great fun fact. Indecision often creates more stress than making an imperfect decision because the brain stays stuck in unresolved tension. Yeah, this is really, really important. The other day I was talking about the nervous system. I, I've been spending a lot of time on, on how the nervous system works, and one thing that I had shared is it's, it's really good to accomplish as much as possible before the day is out, especially clear in your inbox if you've got some pending emails or pending direct messages or whatever, text messages, clear your inbox if possible. Clear out a lot of those tasks because when you go to bed and you have all these unfinished tasks in your mind, sometimes that's gonna affect your sleep. And you're, you're, you're not getting a good quality of sleep because you have this inner tension, this unresolved tension in your mind of so many things that you have to do the next day. Right? So it also helps to even just write those things down. If you get your, if you, if you find yourself being super overwhelmed, write these things down, and that way you put it on paper, you put it to rest, and you, you put a plan of action the next day because if you fail to plan, you plan to fail. You have to plan it out like, okay, tomorrow I'm gonna dedicate this amount of time, or this specific time to that task. The next step is forgive yourself for who you were. Forgive yourself for who you were. If you wanna build that self-trust back with yourself, this is a big part of the equation. A lot of people don't trust themselves simply because they're angry at themselves, just disappointed, frustrated with not being where, with, where they want to be, frustrated with themselves for constantly, constantly letting themselves down, letting other people down. And I see this happen all the time. You may be angry for missed opportunities, bad decisions, wasted time. Staying too long, how many people they get to their forties, and now it's a whole midlife crisis because they've lived a life where they just have waited, waited for the perfect moment, or maybe they didn't trust themselves and waited to the moment that they did have the confidence. And it just doesn't work that way. So you have to start taking action. The best time to start is now. Now it could be not speaking up sooner. Just letting things fester too long. Right? And understand that shame keeps people stuck. Shame keeps people stuck. So you gotta forgive yourself. Give yourself some grace. We're all human beings, right? We're, we're, we're spiritual beings having a human experience, you understand? And the human experience is, it is challenging. It is challenging. Life really does life for a lot of people, and, and you can't. Judge, someone's chapter 20 to your chapter one. It it's not fair to comp to make that comparison because who knows, you may have gone through some childhood trauma that has affected you throughout your life, or you may have started out having children at a very young age, so maybe it's slowed you down a bit, having to take care of a family, right? But everybody has different circumstances. Maybe you had obligations to take care of other people, and that slowed you down a bit. Maybe there's cer certain wounds that you haven't healed yet, and you're just on that journey, but respect your journey because you can accomplish a lot in a five year window, a whole lot, a lifetime of work in a five year window. Understand that even if you're 60 years old, Colonel Sanders did not get it popping with KFC until his sixties. So your brother was in his mid sixties before KFC became a thing. So you gotta give yourself some grace. Okay, next we have, the more you act in alignment with your values, the more internal peace you tend to feel because your actions and identity stop fighting each other. So powerful. I'll say that again. For those of you in the back, back of the classroom, the more you act in alignment with your values, the more internal peace you tend to feel because your actions and identity stopped fighting each other. Have you ever like moved in a way that was against your identity or against, against your values and you feel just kind of conflicted, even if it's pleasurable? In that moment, I always say that you typically know how bad something is for you by how shallow you feel right after you've done it. It's a really powerful takeaway and it is important to reevaluate these things, right? Because it's about building that trust with yourself. If you're getting value so far, by the way, drop a V in the comments. Let me know that you are still with me. Just wanna make sure you guys are still getting value here and we're about to bring it in for a landing. Before we do, uh, here's some great takeaways on learning to listen to yourself again, learning to listen to yourself again, so that might look like, right? And, and this is the thing. Um, you have to slow down enough to hear yourself. And the way that may look, may honestly be journaling. You may journal and just take time to reflect. Journaling has been a big part of my life, and journaling doesn't have to be paper and pad. I find that I'm oftentimes not carrying around a paper and pad, so I like to journal right on my smartphone. I have tons and tons of journal entries right on my smartphone. You don't even have to text it. You can just talk to text, and most phones have that feature. You can just talk and it'll text it for you. So journaling can take many forms, but really the biggest idea is to take whatever's in your mind and put it down on some type of paper or some type of notepad. Okay, next is Quiet Walks, spending time with you. Spending time alone, this is super, super important, especially on your healing journey because sometimes what happens is we, we just get so caught up in our emotions where we end up fearing being alone. We fear spending time with those emotions because we have to process that pain and it's very uncomfortable. But in order to truly heal. You've got to let that emotion flow through you. You have to feel the feelings and, and that's where those quiet walks go a long way. Those moments where you're just in solitude, praying, reflecting are also different ways. Time away from noise and opinions. You have to silence the noise of man so you can hear the voice of God. That's the idea. Just genuinely taking time to reflect on where you are. Listen, I, I, I don't know about y'all, but how many of you can relate to, and I, I most certainly live like this, but I absolutely love spending that quality time with just me. I love me, some, me time where it is, just, especially when you start having kids. You really do enjoy that. Me, like my wife, she loves getting her me time and usually it's after midnight so she can just kind of get work done and, and work on her projects. And I, I respect it because it's, it's tough when your whole life, it just centered around doing things for other people. And sometimes those other people are your children and you don't get enough of that me time. But there are other people. Who are not getting enough me time, simply because they can't deal with the weight of their emotions. They can't deal with that silence. Silence actually scares them. But sometimes silence is the way, and you really have to process what you've been feeling. And the best thing that you can do is honestly just take some self inventory of, of where you are in life. Write things down. Right, and, and just go into deep introspection. Ask yourself the powerful questions. Remember this, your inner voice gets drowned out when everybody else is louder than your own truth. So powerful. So here's some life hacks that you guys can take away. First one is keep one promise to yourself every day, even if it's small, whatever that is. This creates daily evidence that you are dependable. Second life hack. Make decisions faster on low risk things. Doesn't always have to be life altering. So practice trusting your judgment on smaller decisions you can strengthen, so you can strengthen that muscle. I was mentioning the other day to, uh, one of my mentees how if there's anything my parents were really, really good at it was giving me the autonomy to make my own choices. Like I, I didn't have to ask my parents. My parents didn't encourage me to play sports. I just wanted to play football. I wanted to wrestle, I wanted to run track, and I wanted to do it in that order every single year for four years of high school. They didn't tell me to go off to college. I just went off to college and they didn't tell me to play football in college or what to study in college or what to do for work or what to do with my life. I'm not saying that this is necessarily the right way, but one thing that I will tell you is it build, it built my self trust over the years as a young child, and especially for those of you who wanna raise strong men, I would encourage you to allow that, that little boy, to make decisions for him himself, to think critically, to really think through his decisions, and you can just more so give guidance. As opposed to making those decision, those decisions for himself or making those those decisions for him. Super important. Okay. Now the third hack is journal this question. Where in my life have I been abandoning myself? Where in my life have I been abandoning myself? Super, super important. Last few takeaways. The issue is not always that you don't know what to do. Sometimes the issue is that you no longer trust yourself enough to do it. Another one. Every broken promise to yourself weakens your self image, so that's why you have to be impeccable with your word. And start with the small things and keep rebuilding and reinforcing that trust, reinforcing that belief. Because remember, if you truly believe it, it's gonna reflect in your actions. Okay? So it's like reverse engineering. How do you get more belief? Well go to those actions and you'll see it things that you believe. Oftentimes there were actions to reinforce that belief. The brain loves concrete evidence. Another thing is self-trust is built in private before it ever shows up in public. It's built in private in those little insignificant moments, or maybe they seem insignificant in that moment, but they're not. It's those moments when nobody's looking at what you're doing, but you have integrity with your word. You wanna prove to yourself that you can trust yourself. Another one is you don't rebuild trusting yourself through hype. You rebuild it through honesty and follow through. And last but not least, when you trust yourself, you stop asking the world for constant permission. So as I bring this plane in for a landing, remember this, some of you don't need more information. You need to rebuild your relationship with yourself. You need to become someone you can count on. Again, not perfectly, but honestly not loudly, but consist consistency or consistently self-trust changes everything because when you trust yourself, you stop moving through life like a stranger to your own soul. You move with clarity, you move with peace, you move with power, and maybe just maybe the next level of your life is not waiting on more talent. Maybe it's waiting on you to trust yourself again. Ladies and gentlemen, breakfast is served. I hope that this was valuable for you. If it was, again, drop a like, comment, share, tag someone who can get value, follow me on Instagram. If you don't subscribe to the YouTube channel, please do. It definitely helps. And, um, if you know somebody who's been struggling with doubt, they've been struggling with just trusting themselves or believing in themselves and that this spoke to you. Tag them, share it because there are so many people that genuinely will never know about the Breakfast Club because someone never in like invited them to be on or shared it with them. But so many of you have found out about this simply because. You are being nosy on someone's social media or maybe they shared it with you, however it happens. I appreciate you guys for always hopping on and I would not be here today if it weren't for you, and I look forward to connecting with many of you who are going to be jumping on with me one-on-one. Uh, remember, my gift to you guys is the complimentary coaching sessions. A few every week. You may not get, you know, this week or next, but I'll do my best to get you on my calendar. Would love to connect with you guys and hear what you're up to these days. Till next time, take care. God bless. Breakfast is served.