Why Your Life Hasn't Caught Up to Your Vision Yet

https://calendly.com/javalentin/30min

Transcript

0:00

Today's topic is going to be centered on why your life hasn't caught up to your vision yet. And it is going to be on identity, everything identity. And I love this topic, uh, for a lot of reasons. I know I had to do a lot of identity work over the years just, um, building my, my entrepreneurial career. And, uh, identity work has been a big, big part of my personal development journey. And I know that many of you're gonna be able to take away a lot of, uh, really valuable notes from this. So, uh, take notes if you have the ability to take notes wherever you are. Some of you I know, are on your commute to work. Some of you are just getting your day rolling. Maybe some of you're even in the shower as you get ready for work. But, uh, if you have the ability to take notes, definitely do so. Uh, you guys know we're a note taking community, So, uh, let's get this show on the road now, the identity gap, why your life hasn't caught up to your vision yet. A lot of people have a clear vision for the future. But they are still thinking, acting, choosing, and carrying themselves like the older version of themselves. The gap is not always talent, it's often identity. Your life can only rise to the level of the self you consistently embody. Now a great mentor of mine, uh, who I had the opportunity, uh, to build a billion dollar company with, he would always say that, uh, you know, you are who you say you are until you prove otherwise. And, uh, till this day, I still repeat that all the time because it's so true. If you say that for example, you're a disciplined person, then well, you are that person until you prove otherwise. Your actions typically reflect how you identify as a person. So if you say you're a go-getter, if you say that you're a person of integrity, again, you are who you say you are until you prove otherwise. So identity is a big part of the game and. I always say like, identity is kind of like being in a river, but you're going with the current. A lot of people, uh, they go through life and it's sort of like going against the, the, the current, uh, with the river, right? But when you are in alignment with your identity, identity can help carry you through. It's like if you're in a boat and you have the current in your favor, you're gonna go a lot faster. And it, a lot of success works like that. It's, it's all on how you identify as a person and that identity will carry you through. Another mentor of mine would oftentimes say that one of the most powerful forces in the universe is a human's personality's desire to be congruent with who it believes it is. You see, your personality determines your personal reality. A lot of people. Their personal reality is really just a reflection of how they see themselves. And this is why it's super important to do a lot of work specifically on your identity. Now there's a really good book that I wanna recommend on Identity and Self-Image, and it's Psycho-Cybernetics by Maxwell Maltz. Really, really great book I had read early on in my entrepreneurial journey, and I know that for those of you who read it, uh, it's a really profound book. A lot of great takeaways on how identity works in your life and really how to maximize on it now. Some people think their life hasn't changed because they need more time or luck or more opportunity, but sometimes the real reason your life hasn't caught up to your vision is simply because your identity hasn't caught up yet. It's a big, big a part of this whole process. Now, understand this as I get ready to go live as well on, um, ig. By the way, for those of you who don't know, we, we live stream on multiple social media channels across the internet. So from Facebook, Instagram, YouTube, LinkedIn, uh, wherever live, uh, wherever podcasts are streamed, there's a lot of ways you can hop on to, uh, the Breakfast Club. So definitely however you're tuning in with us this morning or throughout the week. Uh, welcome to all of you guys. Shout out to everybody tuning in on all the different platforms now. The core message of today's message is your future is not built by vision alone. It is built by becoming the kind of person who can hold that vision, sustain it, and live in alignment with it. So think about your vision for a second and whatever that that vision is. And when you think about your vision, I always refer to your vision as sort of like your north star. What is your North Star? And I look at your North Star as how you wanna live, who you want to be as a person. How do you wanna live and who do you want to be as a person? So when you think about all of the different dimensions of your life, many of you, if you follow my work, you know that I oftentimes talk about the five F's. And the five F's are the five main categories of your life. There's a lot more, but these are the five main categories that I look at life, um, you know, from that lens. So it's faith, fitness, family, fortune, and fun, faith, fitness, family, fortune, and fun. And I usually go about it in that order. Right. So when you think of your identity, when you think of your vision for your life, what is your identity as it pertains to all those different areas? So if you're looking at, for example, your faith, how do you identify when it comes to your spirituality or your relationship with your creator or with nature or whatever is your thing, but what is your identity? When it comes to that. Right. And I, I know for me, I, I definitely identify as someone who's very, very spiritual, right. And I, I'm accepting of all. People of different faiths or whatever, whatever it is that you believe in, even if you're not quite spiritual, but you're on your way. Like I'm a, I'm a huge advocate for, you know, my faith, my specific beliefs, but I'm also very accepting of a lot of people's beliefs. Um, and, uh, when it's all said and done, I do think that we can live in harmony and, and live in mutual respect with one another. But, um, at the end of the day, I have a specific identity when it comes to, um, my, my specific walk right with, with spirituality. And not only do I have that, but it also permeates through my children, my family. Um, if you don't know, I have a family of five. It's, you know, my household. Uh, we pretty much are all very spiritual people, and that is a collective identity that we share as a family. So secondly is fitness. So think about this. Think about how many people, you know. Or how many people you know of that have been on their fitness journey and for whatever reason, they may lose weight from time to time and they, they, they'll lose the weight, but then they pack it right back on. And oftentimes the reason for that is because it's an identity thing. If you identity identify as someone who's overweight, someone who's always been overweight, oftentimes your actions are gonna reflect that. You'll, you'll kind of self-sabotage because that's the identity that you've been living with for, for quite some time. So when you're looking to make a major transformation, identity's always going to be at the root of that. So fitness, it's, it's super, super important. Like, and, and I'm talking mental, emotional, and physical fitness. So how do you identify in terms of the way that you look? How do you identify? Like, do you identify as someone also who's a very healthy person, someone who eats healthy, someone who always exercises big part of the equation. Now, when it comes to your family life, how do you identify when it comes to your family life? Do you even value family in the first place? And when I'm talking family, I, I'm also talking just your relationships in general, family and friends. What is your identity when it comes to that? Do you identify as a super loyal person when it comes to your friends, someone who's very giving and compassionate, and someone who loves to serve other people? But you have to have some kind of identity, um, around that. And then when it comes to fortune and, and money in general, this is a, a, a super, super important part of just how successful you'll become financially throughout the course of your life. A lot of people do not get to where they wanna be financially, for example, simply because they have limiting beliefs around money, or they just have some kind of. Um, you know, some type of paradigm that prevents them from obtaining wealth. I have a really good friend of mine, super intellectual, and, you know, he, he struggles with building wealth because he also struggles with the idea of capitalism and he, you know, just wrestles with what he thinks about it and, and everything like that. And, um, and, and just how people build wealth and has a lot of these beliefs around money. And, you know, the thing about it is that actually, uh, in many cases repels the wealth from coming to you. So you've gotta have, uh, proper psychology when it comes to just building wealth and understanding, um, really good money psychology. Now the last one is fun. When it comes to identity, a lot of people, it's, a lot of people are having too much fun and then they're wondering why they may not be where they want to be because they identify as like the party person, right? Um, they're, they're always out and, and turning up or whatever the case may be. And there's no, there's no concentrated focus on one thing because a lot of their life and a lot of their identity is around, you know, life. And it's not to, to judge or anything like that. Everybody has their, their own way of going about life. And it's not to say one perspective is better than the other, but sometimes we have these conflicting beliefs. Sometimes we have these conflicting identities as well, and we're wondering why aren't we getting to the next level? Why is it so hard to be disciplined and consistent and avoid distraction? And you're looking at all of the motivational stuff, not realizing intrinsically, like you have to do some identity work. So that's what we're gonna be talking about here today. Everything identity. So let's get a kickstarted. First and foremost, vision is easy. Embodiment. Harder. Anybody can visualize stuff, but how do you embody these very concepts? So a lot of people, for example, love to dream. They love to journal plan, speak things into existence and imagine a better future. But imagination without embodiment creates frustration. You have to embody it. And this is the difference between, for example, affirmations and incantations. Affirmations is when you sort of vocalize these things, right? Like you can speak these affirmations all you want, but an incantation is when you embody the very thing that you're saying. You're getting, you're getting your physiology involved. It's a, it's a different type of affirmation. It's, it's an affirmation on steroids because you are not only speaking these things, but you are, you are internalizing them. Okay, now think about this. People love the idea of the next level. Love the idea of the next level. Everybody's always talking about leveling up and getting to the next level, but think about how often people resist the internal changes require to live there. That's a big part of the equation. You can't put new wine into old skins as scripture states. So you have to be transformed by the renewing of your mind if you're looking to get to the next level in your life. Think about how many people want the results of growth without the identity shift that produces it. So we, we, we talk a lot about, let's say for example, a lot of people have aspirations to be millionaires, but you don't realize the person that you have to be, the capacity that you have to have for that level of responsibility. That's a big part of it. It's like, think about, think about success like climbing a, a skyscraper building, right? Or just any building in general. And you're start, you're starting out at the ground floor. Now imagine, and I had learned this from a mentor of mine. Imagine if you're, you're navigating through the first floor of a building, you've never been in this building before. But imagine this, imagine if you've never been in an elevator, right? And the goal is to get to the top of the building, and every level comes with new challenges. And your job is to learn every aspect of that level before you finally get to the point where you can get to the, the next floor. And imagine going into the elevator and not really knowing that elevators are even a thing, right? Let's say, let's say you were from 300 years ago, you have no idea that these elevators exist. So you're going in and you're just kind of learning and navigating on that, on that very floor. And until you learn everything you need to learn, you can't get to the next level. So this is kind of like how identity works. You may be wondering, why am I not getting to the next level? And it's been year after year, but guess what? You probably have not learned all of the essential skills, all of the knowledge that you have to learn. You probably haven't learned how to work on your identity. And, and this is, this is so essential when it comes to just leveling up in your life. You have to. Sort of past that first level before you get to the next one. It's like a lot of action movies, you think about those action movies, they're like going through these buildings and they have to get to the top guy right on the top floor and every single time they're going on a different floor, there's new challenges that present themselves and, and success works like that, right? It initially, for example. You may just be starting out and you're learning new concepts about wealth for the very first time. Like I remember reading Rich Dad, poor Dad by Robert Kiyosaki early on in my, in my journey, and I didn't really know how net worth works. I didn't know about assets and liabilities and all these different things, and it was just like, wow, I can't believe all of this information. Like this is my first time hearing about it and nobody had taught me. Right? So it was getting an understanding of how assets and liabilities and, and all these things work, right? And, and passive residual income and leverage income had no idea about these things. But once I, once I had learned it, now, it was like life was qualifying me to get to the next level and the next level was, okay, well I have an understanding of how to build wealth. I understand that a traditional nine to five route is probably not gonna be the best route or the fastest route in order to get to where I wanna be. So I started looking up different business models, and now that I learned this information, now I can get to the next level, which is selecting which financial vehicle was best for me. And as I'm learning those financial vehicles, there were essential skills along the way. Just like whatever it is that you're doing, whatever business you get involved in, you've gotta learn all the different aspects of that business before you get to the next level. Now some people are like ignorance on fire, and what I've learned is ignorance on fire is better than intellect on ice. Some people have that paralysis of analysis where they're just thinking themselves out of taking action. And sometimes the best way to learn is really through just taking massive action. Because that's the difference between knowledge and wisdom. Wisdom is applied knowledge. Wisdom is when you're actually out and you're experiencing these things. And because you experience them, you embody them. You can read about things and try to intellectualize your way to success. But think about the people who actually win at the highest levels. They're people who are, who are tinkering, people who are practicing, people who are trying different things and, and they're learning along the way. So they're truly processing the, the knowledge and, and not only processing it like they're applying it, and that's what qualifies them to get to the next level. So it's like here on the Breakfast Club, I think a lot of people. And they started listening and tuning in every single week, years ago because they had saw my business success. And usually people, they wanna hear from people and learn from people who've done it right. And over the years, I, I spent a lot of time learning different things, getting really deep into personal development, but I also spent a lot of time just applying these things. So when I got into the entrepreneurial space, for example, I had to learn sales, I had to learn marketing, I had to learn communication. I had to learn team building, I had to learn leadership, all of these different things, how to network. And until I learned these things, I couldn't unlock the next level. So there are so many skills, for example, today that I developed, not in that initial stage, it was like level 3, 4, 5, level one was the foundation and, and the essentials. But I could not get to the next level and get promoted to the next level until I had unlocked everything I had to unlock. So think about this, if you want to, for example, get into podcasting or you wanna get into public speaking, what don't you know that you have to know in order to get to the next level in that very thing? So with podcasting, I didn't know how to get into podcasting when I first got started. Like getting on all the major platforms, apple, Spotify, our iHeartRadio, all these different things. Well, what did I do? YouTube University went right on YouTube learning different things. These days you've got all kinds of AI platforms that you can just learn things relatively quickly. However, I didn't just. Let it sit in my brain. I actually did the work necessary to apply myself and, and, uh, integrate these things. And as I, as I applied them, you know, I started to get to the next level. Even when it comes to content creation, I didn't really understand content creation. However, you learn the essentials and once you learn to the essentials, you can graduate to the next level. So now I find myself in a space where like, like when it comes to coaching and consulting, a lot of people, they have no idea how much income you could actually make or how to go about coaching and consulting and public speaking. They don't really know how to turn it into a profession. However, they haven't really taken the time to learn it or to even apply it. So you have to learn it and apply it. And these days I built an entire career helping people do that. Like, because I learned the valuable skills, I applied them and I actually, I got the success when it was all said and done. And what happens is when you get the success, now people are reaching out to you to learn from you. Right? And you can make a living just doing that. That's, that's the, the expert industry at, at its finest. It's learning, applying and teaching. And then you create an offer around the very things that you teach on. Okay, so remember, vision is easy. Embodiment is harder. Now, um, remember people love the idea of the next level. They want the results of growth without the identity that shifts that, uh, the identity shift that produces it. Now, think about this. Everybody wants the next chapter, but not everybody is willing to become the next version of themselves. Why? Because sometimes it's a little scary. The unknown is scary. Sometimes you, you even have this imposter syndrome. Like, I remember when I first started charging high ticket, um, for a lot of my, my coaching offers, it was very uncomfortable, very weird. I didn't even know people would be willing to pay. Right until I saw other people doing it, and I shifted my mindset, I, I realized that, oh, people are not necessarily paying me for my time. People are paying me for a transformation. People are paying me for a specific result that they're looking for, and that result is worth the money that they are paying 100% or the money that they're paying is absolutely worth it to get that result. Think about this. If you're on a weight loss journey, right, and you've been struggling with weight loss for so many years, what would you pay to guarantee that you would lose the weight to ensure that you know, without a shadow of a doubt, that you will lose the weight and you'll have your dream body. What is your dream body worth? Like what if you can pay for it and instantly you get that dream body? How much would someone pay for a result like that? Like, imagine if there was a service, and I, some of you're probably like, yeah, there's all kinds of ozempic and things like that these days, but think about if you could just do it naturally and with the snap of a button, uh, snap of a finger, you could instantly like just get that result. It, people would pay crazy amounts of money if they can do it in a very natural way and do it instantly. Right? And think about this. Even for people like I, I certify life coaches, um, and coaches in general. I teach people the business of coaching. Like I teach people podcasting, public speaking, and how to do it for a living. In fact, today, especially for those of you who are in the Tampa area, I'm gonna be doing a talk specifically on how I built a, a full-time career out of podcasting. This is podcasting, right? And how I built a career around that. But it took learning from other people and paying those other people to learn from them, and then from there, applying it, and then applying it, and then teaching it, right? And, but, but the thing about that is I, I had to learn all of the critical steps along the way. It's a big, big part of it. And not only that, I had to have the belief that it was even possible. And that's why it is great to just learn from people who have the results, because when you see that it's possible. Then that gives you the, the encouragement to continue on, right? Because what happens is sometimes people, they embark on these, these dreams that they have, and then they feel like the dream is just so distant, so far away, and they get discouraged and they end up just not moving forward. Or some people just genuinely don't believe that they can do it, or they have what it takes. So that's where the identity work kicks in, is believing that you're worthy of the very thing that you want to obtain, believing that you have the faculties in you to be able to, to, to make it real for yourself. Now, next is your identity drives your habits. Your identity drives your habits. So most people try to change their life by changing goals, but goals alone are weak when identity remains the same. So it's not just the goal, it's like the example I used earlier, if you wanna lose weight. But your identity is still as someone who's an unhealthy person or someone who's an obese person or a big bone person, right? How many people say, oh, Pia, you know, people in my family are big bone. Like that's actually a thing. There's no such thing as big bone people. Like, look up the science, you'll see exactly what I'm talking about. But people have these, these sayings and those sayings become identity over time, right? It's like if your family constantly told you as a child that, oh, you know, the Johnsons or the Joneses, like, we have bad luck in this family. Imagine over time you'll take that on as an identity because your family said that and you have no idea that that identity has been driving the bad luck in your life the whole time, because that's what you're focused on, right? So it is good to strip the layers and get to the core. Now. Another example is think about this. If someone still sees themselves as inconsistent, they will struggle to become disciplined. And this is why I always say never say something about yourself that you don't want to be true. Because what you vocalize, you internalize. And if you constantly are saying how undisciplined you are or how much you're struggling, right? It is like, yeah, you may be going through a very difficult time, but don't just continuously speak these things because words become self-fulfilling prophecies. It's like the more you say these things, the more they become a reality for you. So be very mindful at what you say about yourself, what you say about your children, because again, your children may take this on as an identity just because you're saying these things. It's like parents who say, oh, you're so clumsy. Telling your child they're so clumsy does not help them. With the clumsiness, you have to build up their self-esteem. You have to reinforce their, their identity. So for my wife and I, like, we're always speaking life into our kids. We're always telling them just how amazing they are. And, and Valentine's are hard workers, but we're also smart workers. Like we work hard, but we also work smart because we don't wanna correlate hard work with success. It's not just hard work, it's also working smarter. It's like you can be a hardworking construction worker and be broke your whole life, but you can work smarter and maybe you become a developer, right? And now you've got leverage. That's a smarter way to go about building wealth. So we, we emphasize the importance of, yeah, you wanna work hard, but you also wanna work smart. It's like the left hand that washes the right hand. You also can't think that, oh, just working smart without working hard is gonna get it done too. It's, it's both. I've never met a very successful person that wasn't a hard worker. You, you're not going to manifest your way into billions of dollars. It's like, no, you've gotta put in the work. That's just the way it works. So another example would be if someone still sees themselves as overlooked, they may shrink in rooms they're supposed to lead in. So there's some people that, you know, due to, let's say their childhood, they may have always been overlooked or passed up on opportunities and later on in life it's the same thing. They don't feel worthy. They don't feel like people are going to want them on their team. Maybe you were the kid that got picked last on the basketball team, right? Or, or the baseball game. Like people always selected you last and you took this on as an identity throughout your entire life. So again, it's like how many of these things can you trace back to childhood and really do the internal work necessary? Another example would be if someone still sees themselves as broken, they may sabotage healthy opportunities. Think about that. How many people always say, man, I always manage to screw things up. And as they, they'll say this over and over and over. So my recommendation, if you know of someone and you hear them just speaking down on themselves, give them a reminder like, Hey, you don't wanna say anything about yourself, that you don't wanna be true, because you are going to reinforce that as a reality for yourself. Think about this. You will always feel tension trying to live a life. Your identity is not prepared to support. How valuable is that? Now, I know some of you in the back of the classroom, like Josh, repeat that one more time. Here it is. You'll always feel tension trying to live a life. Your identity is not prepared to support. In order to get to the next level, you're going to have to do the work necessary. So what does that next level look like for you? Maybe you wanna be a full-time entrepreneur and you wanna be a full-time entrepreneur, but in your mind, you're like always repeating to yourself. Well, you know, I struggle with discipline. Right. How do you expect to really sustain yourself as an entrepreneur, if that's your limiting belief, that you struggle with discipline? It's gonna be very difficult because with entrepreneurship it's different than having a traditional job. There's no boss telling you what to do, there's no, there's no accountability coming from other people per se. It's like you have to get up and be self-motivated. Maybe you identify as someone that's not very motivated, right? Or someone that's very comfortable, or someone that's very lazy and you're not, you're not even aware that that belief is the very thing holding you back. So how do you change that? And that's what we're gonna go a little deep into today's here, shortly. Now, your self image may also be outdated. So think about it like upgrading your software. Sometimes in order to unlock new potential, unlock the next level. You have to update your software. And that software are those limiting beliefs. That software is your identity, that self-image. So your self-image may just genuinely be outdated, and you've gotta do some work on that. Now, a lot of people are living from an old story, old pain, old failure, old labels, old insecurities. Old survival mode. Like that's, that's the case for so many people. They're, they're, they're looking to get to that next level, but they're so stuck on how they've been operating for, for such a long time. Meanwhile, their vision is asking them to become someone new. Who do you have to become to get that very thing that you want? So it's like, if you wanna become a wealthy person, you probably should learn about money. You probably should learn about the psychology of money. How do wealthy people, wealthy people think, right? How do entrepreneurs think it? You know, it's, it's like I, I oftentimes, one of the things that I think about. And I actually spoke to my wife about this recently. We go on these walks and I always, my poor wife, like I always, uh, just am, am, am inundating her with my crazy thoughts. Like I, I'm, I'm always in my mind just thinking different thoughts and, and sometimes they're like far out there, right? But one of the things that I was talking to her recently about is for people who are embarking on things that are entrepreneurial in nature. So even if you're an entertainer, right? The other day I was watching the Oscars, which was phenomenal. By the way. Shout out to Michael B. Jordan on winning his Oscar. Just a beautiful, beautiful, um, you know, thing to witness. And I was reflecting on a lot of these actors and how many actors probably weren't even invited to the Oscars because they just faded out. They weren't irrelevant, they weren't relevant anymore. These, these actors that, you know, had a nice run, but they didn't stand a test of time in terms of continue to put out more work. And oftentimes what happens is, you know, these very things, if you're pursuing a career for example, that's not a steady nine to five check if it's not a traditional job. It's very entrepreneurial in nature. Meaning that you've gotta take a risk, you've gotta take a chance on yourself and believe and have faith that you're gonna get to the other side. And it is not easy all the time. Navigating through that uncertainty, especially if you're someone who clings to certainty and security, if you clinging to certainty and security, that very clinging is gonna be the thing that prevents you from getting to the next level. And I was talking to my wife about that, like. If there's anything that you probably should be learning as an entrepreneur is how to navigate through uncertainty. And I remember my mentor would oftentimes say that your success is dependent on how much uncertainty you can comfortably live with. Think about that. Think about how many people never pursue their dreams simply because they have not figured out how to navigate through uncertainty. This is the reason why I'm such an advocate for faith I like, I think that having some type of belief in a higher power, some type of belief that that, that God or your creator or the universe, whatever the hell it is, that you believe. I believe in God and I just genuinely believe that, that God wants me to succeed. I believe that, yeah, I'm gonna go through struggle, um, from time to time, but at least I don't have to do it alone. And God is the source and I'm the resource. And he has all of the abundance, all of the resources. So at any point in time with the push of a button, he can make it happen for me. But there's, there's a, a cultivation process. There's a germination process, there's a forging process that has to be sort of like forged in the fire, if you will. And, and I'm re I'm respectful of that process. Like I, I respect that process because that very process is what makes me worthy of the very things that I want to obtain. The hard is what makes it an opportunity. So you may have to very well do some identity work and, and rewire your psychology so that it's primed to get to the next level. And that may very well just learning how to navigate through uncertainty. You don't have that guaranteed paycheck. My mentor would always say that a paycheck is the drug they give you to forget your dreams. That's a bar. Like think about that. The paycheck is the drug they give you to forget your dreams. You know how many people clinging to jobs simply because they got some benefits just because they got like some kind of 401k. And you, you've been indoctrinated to think that like this is the way right, and that very thing, that very indoctrination is why you can't get to that next level because you are freaked out by uncertainty and, and I think that this is the great separator. This is going to be what determines whether or not you take that great leap or whether you just stay back with the land of the common man. In the land of the common man where people are just fearful of taking chances because they don't have any faith, they don't have any faith in, um, I don't wanna say in their creator, but they, they may just genuinely not have faith in their financial vehicle or their dream or simply themselves, themselves because they're operating on an old software, on an old programming. They're, they're operating based off of all the fears that they had throughout their lives or how many times they've let themselves down. And what I'm saying to you is it's time to update that software if you're looking to get to the next level. So here's a really, uh, great point. Sometimes your life is the lie delayed. Sometimes your life is delayed because you are still emotionally loyal to a former version of yourself. How powerful is that? Still emotional, emotionally loyal to a former version of yourself. Some of us clinging to that old version of ourselves because that old version of ourselves, it's like you'd rather settle for the w, you know, than the W don't. It's that idea. It's like this is safe, this is comfortable, this is familiar. The, the, the next version of me. I, I don't know if I wanna go through public scrutiny. I wanna go through rejection. I don't know if I'm going to be able to, to, to have that level of leadership or that level of accountability. Sometimes that freaks people out. I remember, um, for me, I used to be freaked out by the idea of so many people just judging me. So many people just possibly rid, ridiculing me. Even the Breakfast Club, I share it all the time. I, I used to not go public because I was afraid of being trolled. And, and I knew deep down inside that people at the highest levels, they all take that chance of, you know what, I'm probably gonna have my work ridiculed. I'm probably gonna have people say crazy things about me. Yeah, I'm, I'm probably gonna be in the limelight a lot more. And it can be very scary because it's the unknown, it's unfamiliar, and the brain correlates the unknown with danger. And you have to understand this in order to unlock that next level and be willing to go through that process. Okay. Now quick pit stop. For those of you who are looking to embark on whatever dream it is that you're working on, um, I offer complimentary coaching sessions to our community. This is my gift to you. Um, if you've never done a complimentary coaching session, I've done hundreds of them for our community over the years. Um, it's, it's, it's a great way to connect, to network, to uh, see how I can just help you get to the next level, even if it's just with some. Wisdom from my personal journey, or maybe it's a strategy, a tool that you can walk away with. Uh, DM me the word coach. Um, I can send you my Calendly link. I may have it in the description, but if you don't see it there or in the comments, just DM me the word coach and I'll be more than happy. Even if you're listening to the recording on, on the podcasting platforms, hop over to my ig, just send me a direct message and I'll be more than happy to send you my calendar so that we can connect. Um, but this is really great for, uh, those of you who are launching a specific business. Maybe you're stuck in your business. Maybe you're stuck with taking that great leap and you don't really know where to begin, or you're just kind of like undecided on your purpose. Um, this is really where you're gonna get the most value. So, uh, bring it all to the table. I look forward to connecting with a lot of you guys, and let's continue this show. Next, we have sometimes your, your life is delayed again because you are still emotionally loyal to a former version of yourself. I love that, that line. But, uh, here's another great takeaway. Some people are asking God for a new season while staying psychologically committed to an old identity, right? So you may be emotionally or psychology, uh, psychologically committed to that old identity. And for a lot of reasons, as I mentioned. Next we have the identity gap shows up in everyday behavior. This is a really great way to know where your identity lies, is look at your everyday behavior. Okay? So, um, think about this. The identity gap is not just philosophical. It shows up every single day. So an example would be procrastinating on important work. Think about that. I know I'm guilty of this. Just procrastinating on things that you know you should be doing. There's a really good book called The War of Art that I always recommend, not The Art of War by Sun Tsu. That's a good one too. But The War of Art, specifically by Stephen Pressfield, who talks about this power of resistance that shows up for the entrepreneur, for the creator. And it, it's, it's something that you have to learn how to navigate through. That's the difference between being an amateur and being a professional is your ability to navigate through the resistance. And the resistance is inevitable because the resistance, again, is what makes it a worthy opportunity. That's, that's the idea. And the resistance is also what cultivates your character to become the person necessary to be worthy of that. So you're going to go through it, and it shows up in a lot of different ways. Oftentimes just procrastination. You may just do other things. Other things will occupy your mental space, and this is why it's so essential to schedule things out. Schedule your work, have a calendar, get yourself organized. If you fail to plan, you plan to fail, as the old cliche saying, states, another example would be not taking care of your body. If you're not taking care of your body. It's a, it's a clear indication of where your identity lies when it comes to your personal health. I know for me, I like, I sometimes I make a joke out of it. Like I identify as a, as a Greek statue. Like I always, if there's any physical goal I want for myself in terms of the way that I look, it's always like a shredded physique. And I've, I've identified like that, um, for a very long time. And the reason why I mention that this is not to blow my own trumpet here. The reason why I mentioned that is because think about it. If you identify as someone who has amazing abs, for example, then you're naturally going to do a lot of ab workouts. You're gonna go to the gym, you're gonna make sure that you don't eat as much sugar and things that will eliminate the abs. And it, it's funny because my kids, whenever uh, my kids, uh, there was, there's a tradition we have in my household where, uh, every kid on their birthday, they give their first piece of cake to someone special in their life. And it may be their friend, it may be one of their parents. My kids never give me the piece of cake. They never give me that first piece of cake is not because they don't love me. They don't gimme the first piece of cake because they know I don't eat sweets. That's just what it is. Um, and. Uh, you know, I, I had built this identity for myself, so I don't, I don't have those struggles of avoiding sweets because it has been embedded in my identity and it's rooted in me identifying as a person who looks a certain way physically, right, and just someone who maintains good health. Many of you who know my, my story, you know, that I was, uh, an athlete. I, I played football, I wrestled, I ran, you know, track and field. I was a pole vaulter in, in high school and, and in college I played football. And throughout my entire life, I've always been involved in different sports, uh, whether it's Spartan races or kung fu and martial arts and all kinds of stuff. And it's, it, my identity as an athlete has been the very thing that has drove my behavior when it comes to just staying in shape. So the moment I go, let's just say four days without working out. I'm gonna have this natural inclination, it's almost like painful. You're like, nah, I gotta get up in the gym. Where are all my gym heads at? I mean, how many of you who are gym heads or gym rats, whatever you wanna call it, drop a one in the comments. If that's you, like after like three or four days, you're starting to have anxiety. You're like, I need to get into the gym. Right? And it's not very difficult to get back into the gym because your identity is pulling you. And this is why I oftentimes say, when motivation can no longer push you, a strong identity will pull you. It'll get you to do the things that you need to do. That's the powerful thing. That's the river analogy where, where the current will carry you. Even if you don't have the strength to row the boat, you don't have the strength. The current will naturally still carry you. That's the beautiful thing about it. Identity work is essential. Next. Another example is speaking negatively about yourself. It's, it's, it's huge. If there's any words of wisdom that I would give you, if there's anything that has been absolutely just critical throughout my journey is, is learning how to speak to myself. There's a really good book I always recommend is What's to Say when You Talk to yourself by Dr. Shot Helms did a really great book. He was a psychologist way back in the, in the day, I think in the eighties, if I'm not mistaken. Um, but a, a phenomenal book, all on self-talk, and it's probably like my top five recommendations. Really good book. And you have to be very, very mindful at how you talk about yourself. Some of you are just constantly, and you may not verbally be saying these things, but you're thinking them, right? You have these thoughts and you're just constantly just beating up on yourself. If there's any ancient wisdom that I can share and bestow upon you here this morning is be kind to yourself. Be kind to yourself. Speak, speak to yourself as you would want to. Speak to a, a young five-year-old. Speak to yourself like you're a, you're a precious five-year-old and you're trying to build that five-year-old's confidence. You're really trying to do your best to help that five-year-old set themselves up for success. That's how you should be speaking about yourself. Be kind to yourself. We all have that wounded little boy or little girl inside of us, right? That is there. And every time you talk bad about yourself, it's like you don't realize how much you're wounding that that inner child even more. Lift yourself up, get in that mirror, do some mirror work. I'm, I'm a huge advocate for, for mirror work. Mirror work is like you go in the mirror and just speak life into yourself for, for like five minutes. Just say all the positive things about yourself, how beautiful, how amazing you are, how much of a badass you are, how, how confident you are, right? And, and speak it as I am, right? I am, or, and directly. I'm beautiful. I'm bold, I'm confident, I'm strong. You, you have to speak life into yourself, right? And that mirror work is just so profound. Even, even if you have to put little sticky notes on, on your mirror, like get yourself legit some sticky notes and stick them things on your mirror with positive affirmations that you could just constantly repeat to yourself. It, it, it sounds corny, but it goes a long way. How many of you, if you guys don't mind, drop a comment? How many of you have some type of like affirmations that you, you say to each other, drop your affirmations? Like what affirmations have, have you developed throughout your life or integrated into your life that have been super helpful? Drop your top affirmations. I'll share mine. One. One of them I have, I have tons of them, but one of them is I'm the most confident person I know. Oftentimes, I'll, I'll get a lot of compliments on my confidence and it's not because I just always had this confidence. In fact, I had to work on it a lot. But I used to say to myself thousands of times, I'm the most confident person I know. I'm the most confident per, and I would just repeat it to myself over and over and over. Another affirmation that I love is I'm a certified trigger puller. I'm a certified trigger puller. Like, what do I mean by that? I mean that like, I'm gonna take action. I'm not gonna sit there and beat around the bush and just contemplate whether or not I'm gonna pull the trigger. No, I'm going to move forward. Right? And another thing I I say is, consistency is my superpower. Integrity is my superpower, right? Like I, I, integrity is a, is a non-negotiable. Like I don't play when it comes to my integrity. I don't play when it comes to my character. And again, you have to speak these things into existence, even if you're not quite there. Doesn't matter why, because the subconscious does not know the difference between what's a truth and what's a lie. It's just a faithful servant. So when you speak these things, this is why you start to internalize what you vocalize. The subconscious has no idea the difference between a truth and a lie. Okay. Another example is shrinking around bigger opportunities. As I mentioned earlier, you just start to feel small. You've gotta, the other day I was talking to a gentleman, I had met a gentleman, very successful. His business is doing millions of dollars. Some of his clients are like Michael Jordan and Disney and all these phenomenal clients. He invented this amazing, this amazing, uh, technology. And, and he sells this technology to, to many different companies. And I noticed, like when I was starting to talk to him, I was having a little imposter syndrome kick in, and I was like, immediately I caught it. And I'm like, nah, bro, you need to, you need to remind yourself of your worth. Like snap out of that, that is a lie from the pits of hell. Like you are worthy to be in this conversation. And you gotta, you gotta remind yourself of that. Build yourself up. Okay, listen, you sometimes you gotta be your biggest cheerleader before you have any cheerleaders. You gotta be the person to cheer you on because ain't nobody that's gonna be able to cheer you on like you. Okay, so another thing is avoiding hard conversations, right? Are you avoiding those hard conversations? Sometimes people identify as someone who's passive, someone who doesn't like confrontation. Don't let that be you because those hard conversations are necessary in leadership. Okay? Another one is, uh, staying inconsistent with routines. So you may have specific routines that, you know, could be super beneficial, but you're not consistent with it, and that's another way that you may be able to kind of identify where those I identity gaps are. And last but not least, is staying attached to people who only fit your past. How profound is that? Sometimes in order to get to the next level, you gotta raise the rent. You gotta raise the rent. If you really wanna know where you're going in life, show me your friends and I'll show you your future. As my mentor would oftentimes say, show me your friends and I'll show you your future. If you're hanging around nine broke, miserable, unhealthy people, guess who's gonna be number 10? It's probably gonna be you. It's law of association. There's no getting around this. You have to be very mindful of the company that you keep. And a lot of people are staying attached to people in the past because again, that's the way the land of the common man works. You got a lot of people who are just caught up in their misery and they don't want their friends going to the next level because by their friends going to the next level, it's putting a big mirror in front of their face, like, Hey. You've been slacking and you've been, you've been living too comfortable and, and you need to level up too, right? Because it's like, if you truly wanna be happy, you, you've gotta go and take that great leap. And a lot of misery truly does love company. They're like basking in their cessful of mediocrity. They, they want you to just be chilling and, and, and not doing anything. Drinking beers and wasting time and not being productive and not going after their dreams. Like get around people who are in motion, people who have dreams and goals and big aspirations. And that's what they're talking about. They're not talking about other people, usually people who are just living in resistance. They're just talking about other people, hating on other people. But when you wanna level up, one of the best ways to do that is just by getting around a lot of people who are in alignment with their purpose. A lot of people who are just, they're, they're busy, they're working. Right? I, I was mentoring a, a young man the other day and he, he asked me the question like, what do I do when I have, you know, all of these friends I'm looking to get to the next level, but I have all these friends who just kind of wanna hang out. And I had to tell him, like, what I did was, I got good at saying no. So there, there's so much talk and praise about saying yes to everything. Sometimes that's not the best advice. Sometimes the best advice is learn how to say no. Build your no muscle. Genuinely get good at just telling people no, I, I I can't make it. Because if you're constantly saying yes, you're gonna build, you're gonna lose that sense of trust in yourself. You're, you're, you're, you're not going to truly believe that you have the willpower to just go and do your own thing, and you're gonna become a yes man, a yes woman. You, you do not want that when it's time to get to the next level. You have to have healthy boundaries for what's for you and what's not. And it's not to judge those who are still living like that. It's not that, it's not to think that you're better than, it's just you want better for your life, okay? Because there's this part of you that's nudging on your soul that's like this way of living is not it. Like I'm tired of this way of living. You may be comfortable in the moment, but usually those things that we engage in are band-aids on gaping wounds, and it's time to rip the damn band-aid and do the stitching necessary to get to that next level. Okay. Now here's a really great, great quote. The identity gap is what happens when your mouth says one thing about your future, but your habits keep voting for your past. Really great takeaway. Next, we have you do not rise to your intentions. You rise to your identity. You do not rise to your intentions. You rise to your identity. People often think their intentions should be enough, but intentions do not carry a life. Identity does. Again, it goes back to the river analogy right now. Think about this. Intentions inspire systems support, but identity sustains. Identity sustains. Anybody could be disciplined for a week, two weeks, even a month, even a year. But when it comes to sustaining success over years and decades, that's an identity thing. Okay? Now, uh, this is a big reason why temporary motivation doesn't change everything. Real transformation comes when your identity changes. Okay? Next, we have closing the identity gap. Req requires evidence. This is a big takeaway for those of you who are genuinely looking to just make that upgrade, okay? You do not close the gap just by saying affirmations. You close it by building proof. You need, you need the proof to reinforce this new identity. So an example would be keeping promises to yourself. Start off small. Don't go for the big moonshots right away. Build that momentum before going to the big, big goals and dreams and aspirations. Because what happens is people set these. Big, ridiculous goals, and it, it's like these goals are so far out there, and then they're not even 10% closer to them and they just get discouraged and they give up altogether. Set the small goals, goals that you could actually accomplish for the day and build your confidence from there. Another thing is doing hard things, consistently, doing hard things. I think that a lot of my discipline was laid early in my life because when I was in high school, for example, like I played football, I wrestled, I ran track all four years. I never took a break. I just constantly, and it sucked. I, I, I could not stand practice. I love the winning, but I did not like practice and it sucked Every single day I subjected myself to that pain, but doing those hard things set me up for later on in life for the ability to do even harder things. Because there's a lot of parallels between sports and business as well, right? So do as many hard things as you possibly can. 1, 1, 1 thing you can do, I mean, take a cold shower. There's, there's a, a direct correlation between your baseline dopamine levels and hard things. Like when you do something that's very, very difficult, it, it improves your baseline to get that dopamine hit. Right. So if you take a cold shower, for example, or you get a really intense workout, and when you didn't feel like getting that workout in, what happens is it improves your baseline for you being able to experience dopamine and, and what, for, for most people, they, they actually sabotage their baseline for their dopamine because they're constantly doom scrolling and they're getting these little leaks of dopamine. And it's like, it's like being a, a drug addict, right? You do drugs enough, eventually you need to go to more and more extreme drugs in order to scratch that itch. You see it happen all the time. You need bigger hits, more extreme things just to get that hit of dopamine. So it's because of their baseline. Right? And in order to improve that baseline, biologically speaking, you, you have to do hard things. That's what actually helps. It's, it's like it fluctuates. It fluctuates with this. And there's, there's so many studies around this. It's fascinating how to improve your ability to experience more and more dopamine. Okay. Another thing is just changing your standards. Okay? Changing your standards is a big one. I remember, you know, I, there's times where I look at my, my photo album from pictures like 10 years ago, five year, and you know, the pictures from like 10 plus years ago. Sometimes I cringe at them. I'm like, God damn. I didn't realize my, my standards were just kind of so low. Like the way that I carried myself. I always say that I had more of a hippie vibe, right? And even like. The way I was living. Like, there were just certain things that I was just like nonchalant about it. It wasn't really important, but when I really was looking to level up and shift my paradigm, it, it required just elevating those standards. Another thing, this was a big, big takeaway for me. It was speaking differently. Speaking differently. So I even cringe. I, I was looking at one of my speeches at Toastmasters years ago, it's probably, you know, 10 plus years ago, and I was just cringing at the way that I even spoke. I was like, oh my goodness. I couldn't, like, I, I just can't believe I sounded like that and I had to refine the way that I spoke and I expanded my vocabulary and, and the way you speak is a clear indication of the identity work. It's like if you wanna sound more sophisticated or be more sophisticated, you probably should sound more sophisticated. If you wanna get around high value people, there are two things that they're gonna judge you off of, and that is the moment they see you and your appearance and the moment you open up your mouth. Those are the, the, the top or primary two things people are gonna judge you off of the moment you meet them. And if you're a master networker, you're gonna know to work and refine those specific areas. Okay? So again, it goes back to the, your appearance. You have to raise your standards for the way you dress, the way you carry yourself, but also you have to raise your standards for your vocabulary, the way that you speak. I believe that those two things are the reason why I speak on television today. Because I would not have qualified for television if I was looking scrappy as hell. And I also would not have qualified if I had spoke the way that I spoke 10 plus years ago. Okay. So speaking differently is a big part of it. Another thing is carrying yourself differently. Carrying yourself differently. Just your swag, your confidence. I, I always believe that if you really wanna build your confidence, walk into a building like you own the place. I had learned that from my mentor years ago. He is like, when you walk into a building, walk into it like you own the place. It's not from a place of cockiness, it's a from a place of confidence. Okay. Cockiness is when you know, you think you're saying something, but you don't have the competence to back it, right? Like, that's co, that's cockiness confidence is when you know, like you can back up like all the stuff that you're talking. That's true confidence. And you walk and you permeate that, and people can sense that. Okay? Now another thing is making choices your future self with respect. I love this, this, this idea of doing something every day that your future self would thank you for. What can you do today that your future self would thank you for the version of you 10 years out? And the and, and success is like, it's a compounded thing. It compounds over time. So these little actions, they may seem little in the moment, but they compound over time. There's a really good book called The Compound Effect and um, really phenomenal book. I think the author is Jeff Olson, if I'm not mistaken. Uh, but the compound effect. Uh, or slide edge is that one. Uh, the Compound Effect is by Darren Hardy. They're both very similar in nature. Uh, both books are amazing, but it's this idea of success compounding over time. Those little, those little actions just go a long way. And, and it, it's like the snowball effect. You, you take that snowball and you roll it down the hill and eventually that snowball becomes an avalanche. And success works like that. You have to make those daily choices, those daily disciplines, um, every single day that your future self would thank you for. There. There are things today that I'm still reaping the benefits of work that I put in 15 years ago, 20 years ago, and that's the idea every single day doing that work Now confidence grows when your behavior starts, giving your mind new evidence about who you are. New evidence. What do you have to show? Okay, so I'm gonna give you guys three main takeaways. Uh, these are the three main pillars for today's talk. The number one is your vision can only expand as far as your identity allows. So a bigger future requires a bigger self concept. Number two, your habits reveal what version of you is actually in charge. Not your dreams, not your captions, not your intentions, your habits. And thirdly is you have to practice becoming who you say you want to be. Transformation is not a one-time decision. It is a repeated embodiment. Good reflection. Uh, questions for today are these, um, and take notes. These are really great questions and that I want you guys to basically take away with you. Journal on them, write, write them down. And just reflect on them. Okay, so here's these reflection questions for you guys. What kind of life am I asking for? What kind of life am I asking for? Think about that. Are you asking for a life of abundance, a life of peak life experiences, a life filled with love and service. Next is, what kind of identity does that life require? What kind of identity? For most people who are successful, it's an identity around being disciplined, being consistent, being healthy, thinking big, dreaming big, taking chances, right? What kind of identity does that life require? Next is where am I still acting like an old version of myself? I had to check myself, because what happened is on my business journey, I had built a substantial passive residual income. And one thing that had basically backfired on me is I had built that passive residual income, and it made me soft. It made me comfortable, it made me just not take as much action. And you've gotta be very careful with that because the reality is you have to constantly be taking action. You, you can't just get comfortable because the moment you get comfortable, the moment you get soft, you are on your way backwards. Growth is uncomfortable in its very nature. If, if you start feeling like you're, you're too comfortable, listen. That is a sign that you're in a state of decay because universal law states that you're either in a state of growth or you're in a state of decay. There is no such thing as a plateau. We live in a universe of entropy. Like everything is always changing, always evolving. Nothing stays the same. So you have to be very careful when you find yourself being comfortable. And for me, that old version, from time to time, I'll catch myself slipping into that very comfortable residual lifestyle where I'm not out there hunting, looking for new opportunity hungry. Okay, next. What habits are keeping me connected to who I used to be? What habits? It may be drinking like alcohol, drugs, whatever it may be, hanging around the wrong crowd. It may be self-sabotage, it may be snacking on unhealthy food after midnight. But what habits are keeping you connected to who you used to be? And next last, but not least, we have, what would the future version of me do differently starting today? What would the future version of me do differently? Starting today is so good. So as we bring this plane in for an official landing, and by the way, if you got value today, drop a V for value, drop a comment. Sh uh, I, I read through all the comments by the way, so I truly appreciate. For those of you like, comment, share, subscribe, tag someone who can get value from today's session. If you got value, and I'll close out with this, your life may not be behind. Because your dream is too big. It may be be behind because your identity is still catching up. The question is not just what do you want next? The question is, who do you need to become to hold it? Your future's not waiting on more vision. It may be waiting on more alignment. Ladies and gentlemen, breakfast is served. If you got value from today's session, uh, you know, definitely like I said, drop a comment. Appreciate all the love, all the shares and all that good stuff. And again, uh, if you are long overdue to meet one-on-one, if you need some help with whatever journey you're on, business speaking, podcasting, whatever it is, um, and listen, we are in an age of ai. You should be thinking about, you know, what, what your future holds for you. Like what does your next career look like for you If your specific career is going to be replaced, like so many jobs are going to be, um, not even in existence here in the next few years. So you should be spending time every single day thinking about your next move. And if that's the case for you and you need some guidance around that, because I'm currently doing it, um, then I am more than happy to meet with a lot of you guys. And, uh, till next week, God bless you all. Breakfast is served. I'll be seeing you next Tuesday. Take care.