The Journey with Josh Valentin

The War Between Who You Are and Who You' re Becoming

The Holistic Life Project

Use Left/Right to seek, Home/End to jump to start or end. Hold shift to jump forward or backward.

0:00 | 55:14

today's topic is going to be the war between who you are and who you are becoming. Now, have you ever felt like you are in a fight, but the fight is actually with yourself? I know throughout the course of my life, for those of you who have followed my journey, you know I've been in entrepreneurship for a lot of years, and I always say, especially when I'm talking about the, the, the topic of building wealth, the greatest enemy to your wealth will always be yourself. It's always going to be yourself, and I would say even when it comes to anything that you're pursuing in life, you're always going to be your greatest enemy. Sometimes the biggest enemy is the inner me. It's you battling with yourself. So think about it. There probably have been parts of your life or seasons of your life where part of you knows exactly who you are supposed to become, but another part of you keeps pulling you back into old habits, old thoughts, and old comfort zones. So that's not confusion. It's not lack of discipline. It's simply a war between yourself, okay? The old version of you and the version of you that is trying to come to life. So, uh, today we're gonna be talking about the war between who you are and who you are becoming, and to get us started, let's talk about the two versions of you. Okay? The two versions of you. So at any moment in time, we're constantly at war in, in a sense with two identities. The first identity is the current self. So the current self is conditioned, it's comfortable, it's familiar, it's, it's the version of you that you probably have been for a very long time. And then you have the future self, which is a more elevated version of you, a more disciplined version of you that is essentially going into the unknown. And the, the idea of today's topic really isn't to change who you are at your core. It's really just helping you become the very best version of yourself. Because sometimes our dreams are so big to the point where we, we need an expanded capacity for what we can be responsible for. And responsibility, you guys hear me mention it all the time, is nothing more than your ability to respond. How do you respond to setbacks, to obstacles, to a crisis? How do you respond to just all kinds of roadblocks when they do present themselves? And if you're gonna bring any big dream to life, it's going to require a much more expanded version of yourself. Okay? So your current identity, keep in mind, was built through repetition. Your environment, your habits, and your past decisions are ultimately what have built your current identity. So think about that for a second. Think about who you are today and think about, you know, in terms of who you are today, think about, you know, what has led to, to who you are, right? When you think about yourself as well, if you had to describe yourself in three words, what would those three words be? Would those three words be discipline? Would they be consistent? Would they be just committed, right? And, uh, think about who you're gonna have to become in order to get to the next level. So that version of you requires a completely different standard. There's gonna be a different standard required in order to bring those dreams into fruition. It's gonna be a different standard required in order to get to the next level in your life. I know for me, it's interesting- Because I've been an entrepreneur for so many years. I, I got started in entrepreneurship, um, when I was 22 years old, and I'm talking big business with, like, leverage, systems, all of that stuff. I, I, I've been an entrepreneur my entire life, but when I really, really got started with big business, I was 22 years young, and there was a certain standard that, that had to come to life within myself in order for me to go full time. And for example, when I was, uh, when I first retired from the workforce, you know, I had to be committed every single morning, getting myself up and committing to whatever the task was for the day. Um, I had to be committed and, and do stuff that I didn't necessarily feel like doing in the early days and even to this day, right? When you're in business, oftentimes we're glorified in public for the work that we do in private, and the work that we do in private isn't necessar- n- isn't necessarily so glorious. It isn't, it isn't sexy all the time to do the work that is ultimately navigating through, through resistance, right? When you're building a business, for example, sometimes you, you don't wanna have to deal with, with customers. You don't wanna have to deal with the paperwork associated, administrative work or legal issues and all these different things, but it's what's required to bring this to life, right? So there's a different standard that has to come about. And I know in this season of my life, one thing that I realized is that standard is a standard where I'm fully committed to whatever task I have to do for the day, and I'm eliminating all distractions. And in, in order to... For example, uh, let's just say you have a, a really, really big dream, and you know that if you're gonna bring that dream into fruition, it's gonna re- require a lot of hours worth of work. Well, how in the world are you gonna get a lot of hours of work done if you're constantly distracted? So I, I've, you know, s- kinda gotten into a season where I, I've had to get really, really good at eliminating distractions because oftentimes the distractions is really what prevents you from putting in the work necessary, right? But that's a different standard. So what standard do you need in this new season of your life to really bring to life what it is that you're working on? Now, your brain, keep in mind, is wired to protect the current identity Right? The brain, your brain loves what's familiar. Your brain loves essentially what, what it knows. And, uh, whenever you, you go into uncharted territory, it's, it's like signaling to your brain danger in a sense because, uh, your brain wasn't designed to keep you alive. Your brain was designed to... Well, your brain wasn't designed to keep you happy. It was designed to keep you alive. You always have to keep that in mind. That's why whenever you're embarking on a new dream, oftentimes it comes with a lot of resistance. You know, there's the unknown that you have to embark on, and it feels very, very uncomfortable. But that resistance is what makes it an opportunity. That resistance is what allows you to really, uh, thrive once you get to the other side. Most people aren't going to be willing to go through that resistance, and, and that's why the greatest opportunities in the world typically, uh, come after navigating through the resistance. So even with, with my business career, you know, I had to navigate through a lot of rejection, a lot of rejection, and the average person just is not willing to sign up for that. It's like even in business, when you think about it, business is ultimately a, the act of selling a product or service, but the act of selling a product or service requires you to go through rejection, and it requires you to have to sell. And over 90% of the population simply do not like to sell. Why d- don't they like to sell? Because they don't wanna get rejected. When you think about even the number one fear in the world, it's not death, it's not getting ravaged by, by a lion or anything like that. The number one fear is the fear of public speaking. But when you look at the root of why people fear public speaking, it's ultimately because they fear social judgment. They fear being ridiculed. They fear making a fool out of themselves. We have this deep inherent fear of being rejected, and when you think about it, for thousands and thousands of years, we were very tribal, and you had to be accepted, accepted within your tribe if you were going to survive. So it's, it's deeply embedded in, in our, in our DNA to have fear in a sense of, of rejection, fear of s- social judgment. So if you can learn how to navigate through, through going through the rejection of going through the, the fear of what other people are gonna think about you, then you have a better shot at navigating through resi- the resistance. Okay? So your current identity, think about it. How, how well do you navigate through the fear of what other people think? Because any dream that you're gonna bring to life, it doesn't matter if you wanna be an athlete, it doesn't matter if you want to be a dancer or a singer or an entrepreneur or whatever, all of those things are going to require you having to navigate through so- uh, the fear of social judgment. And the sooner you can overcome that, the, the, the sooner you can get to the other side. If there's any advice that I would have given to my 20-year-old self, it would've been get over what other people think a lot quicker. That was the old identity. And then you get to a certain place in your life, you talk to people who are, like, over 60 years old, they don't give a damn what other people think. They've, like, out- outgrown that, and you, you gotta love our, our, our fellow senior citizens, our, our fellow 60-plus generation because they really get to a place in their lives where they just don't give a damn, and that's a beautiful place to be. And my recommendation is get there a lot sooner. You'll get to a place in your life at some point in time where you really don't care what other people think and, and it's liberating, right? I remember I didn't want to do the, The Breakfast Club. I used to do it in a, in a private Facebook group for, for many years before I opened it up to the public. And the reason why I did-- I didn't open up it up to the public for, for a long time was simply because I didn't wanna be trolled. I knew how savage people were on social media and, you know, how they would troll people. However, is there really getting any around that? Like, is, is there getting around that when it comes to just this type of work? No. Like, you're going to have to deal with that. You know, you look at the most successful people in the world like a LeBron James. LeBron James is one of the most loved individuals in the world, but also simultaneously probably the most hated on individual. At l- top 10 in the world. Like, people constantly love to hate on him, and it comes with the territory. So you've gotta get good at learning how to navigate through the noise, okay? And keep in mind, even if your current life isn't ideal, it's familiar, so you're navigating through familiarity, okay? And your mind would rather keep you safe than let you grow. That's a big part of this, this whole process. Your mind is always finding ways to keep you safe, even if the very thing that you, you, quote-unquote,"think is safe," like for example- Not working out. Your body and your mind is going to prevent you from working out because the idea of working out, sometimes it-- you associate pain to it. So you're gonna do everything in your power to not work out. So this is going to always be the case. Throughout your entire life, you're going to be navigating through that resistance, and I wanna give a book recommendation. Uh, for many of you, it's probably top five books that I recommend, and it's"The War of Art" by Steven Pressfield. Not"The Art of War" by, um, I think Lao Tzu, uh, or Sun Tzu, which-whichever one wrote that. It's, it's"The War of Art" by Steven Pressfield, and it's a really good book on how to navigate through the resistance, and the resistance oftentimes is the noise, whether it's the noise in your own head because let's be honest, a lot of the times when, when you're navigating through this resistance, it's your own internal battle. You have the noise of the outside world, but you also have the noise in your own head, and you have to get really good at silencing the noise. Okay? Now, why does growth feel so uncomfortable? Growth, remember this, is breaking patterns. Whenever you're growing, you're breaking old patterns that you've been living with for a very long time. Your nervous system interprets unfamiliar as danger. So whenever you go into anything that's unfamiliar, that amygdala, that, that part of your brain that's like your, um, your emotional, um, alarm system in a sense, right? It's, it's, it's what triggers that, that fight or flight, that sympathetic nervous state. And wh-when anytime you're going into unfamiliar, it's like you're going to have that feeling. But how do you silence the noise? How do you calm your nervous system and still continue to press forward? That's where discipline kicks in. When you do what you know, not what you feel. You know that you have to get up and do the work every single day. You have to sit with the work. There's no getting around it. But what if you can get really, really good at silencing the noise, calming your nervous system, sitting down with the work? I, this season of my life, that's what it's about. It's eliminating all the distractions and learning how to silence that noise, and there's so many different ways you can go about it. One of my favorite ways is through meditation, and for those of you who have studied, uh, Phil Jackson, who won 11 rings in the NBA, he's, he's famous for being the coach of the, the Bulls when they were at their prime with Michael Jordan and also the Lakers with, with Kobe Bryant and Shaquille O'Neal. And one of the things he was famous for was teaching his, his team the idea of mindfulness. And mindfulness, like when you think about meditation in, in, in general, meditation essentially is calming the mind. When, when you're, when you're going through mindfulness, right, uh, uh, initially you may go through, uh, what Eastern tradition calls monkey mind, where you have all these different thoughts. And the human brain thinks anywhere from 30 to 60,000 thoughts a day. Right? Now, how do you get really good at quieting the noise, silencing the noise? And practices like meditation or mindfulness is a really great way because ultimately what you're doing is calming your nervous system. Rather than focusing on what's not working... Because let's be honest, if you leave your, your brain in default mode, if you just let it do its thing, it's always going to look for what's dangerous, what's not working, what's going wrong in your life. Why does it do that? Because it's designed to keep you alive, not to keep you happy. It's designed to keep you alive. Happiness is a luxury, right? Like, just to- the idea of being happy is, is really a, a, a luxury because, uh, you know, when you, when you're going through life, let's, let's be real, like, life is very, very challenging. And although, you know, happiness is, is a luxury, meaning is a moral obligation. How do you navigate through, through suffering? How do you navigate through, through challenges? You, you extract meaning, and meaning will get you through that resistance when you have that compelling why. Why do you do what you do? Why do you... Why does your dream even matter to you? And the reason why it's so important to understand that is because when you need to navigate through the resistance on those days where you really don't feel like doing the work, the meaning you associate to that work is what'll carry you through. Okay, now remember this: discomfort is not a bad sign, it's a signal. Right? Discomfort is a signal. It's not necessarily a bad thing whenever you feel that discomfort because, again, that discomfort is the resistance and the obstacle is the way There's just no getting to the top of anything. If you wanna do anything great, it is going to require you going through discomfort. You think LeBron James, after 21 seasons or 23 seasons do you, do you feel like he's more comfortable now today than he was when he first got started? No. He, he still has to go through very uncomfortable practices. He still has to wake up and do what he doesn't feel like doing, right? But that's, that's what leads to greatness. It is navigating through those obstacles. Do you think that anyone who's ever won an Oscar or a Grammy or a, a championship or anyone who has built a billion-dollar company, do you think that they got there by just being comfortable? Absolutely not. So how well can you navigate through the uncomfortable? How well can you navigate through the uncertainty? And your success is going to be predicated on how well you deal with uncertainty and h- how well do you navigate through doing the work even when you don't feel like doing it. That's really what it takes, and that's why it's so important to eliminate those distractions in your life. Because in order to bring anything great into fruition, you're going to have to sit down with the work and do the work and show up, but that's what leads to the path of greatness. Now, when you start leveling up, you don't feel powerful at first. It's not the way it works. You feel uncertain, you feel inconsistent, and you feel like you're losing control. It's like really, really shaking up your whole world when you're stepping into this new version of yourself. And just know that if you've been feeling like that, that's a clear indication that you're probably on the right track because this comes with the territory. Any time you're leveling up, er- any time you're getting to this next level in your life and this next version of yourself, it is going to feel uncomfortable because you're not used to, used to it. But that's a, that's a, that's a good thing. It's not necessarily a bad thing if you feel that sense of being uncomfortable. Now, some of the other things that you'll go through emotionally is doubt. Like,"Is this really for me? Is this really what I want?" You'll start to have that inner noise, that inner me start to creep in telling you that,"Hey, maybe you don't wanna do this. Maybe this isn't for you." And if you're going through doubt, just know that that comes with the territory. You're on the right track. Sometimes it's the fear of judgment."Well, what, what is my family gonna think? What are my friends are g- what, what are my friends gonna think? What is my family gonna think? What, what are my peers gonna think? My coworkers?" You're gonna go through that fear of judgment. It's like I, I certify a lot of coaches these days, and I've been doing this for years. And the coaches that I certify, one of the things that I always have to help them navigate through is stepping into a new identity as a coach. Because sometimes you have that imposter syndrome. Who am I to say that I coach people or I mentor people? Who am I? I don't even have all of my, my my stuff together, and I'm over here trying to give advice, right? And there is that fear of judgment. It comes with the territory. The imposter syndrome comes with the territory, and that's with a lot of things, right? I, I remember when I first got started in business, I had a huge sales team, thousands and thousands of people on my sales team, and one of the things that, you know, they would struggle with is just casting vision to family and friends. Telling family and friends how they can help them change their lives and meanwhile, you know, they, they've been struggling with their own lives for, for so many years. And, and you, you have that imposter syndrome creep in from time to time, but again, you've gotta get really good at silencing the noise. For those of you who've heard me speak on stages around the world, you probably have heard me at some point in time do a sonic boom chant, and the sonic boom chant really for me is symbolic for silencing the noise. Because when something, let's say, goes through the process of a sonic boom, it's breaking the sound barrier. That's where that boom, that's what's happening. You're like over 700 miles per hour and you're officially moving past the speed of sound. And think about that. When you're moving so fast, faster than the speed of sound, like you can't even hear the noise anymore, right? And for me, that's, that's always been symbolic for silencing the noise of not only the noise of what other people are saying, but the inner noise. When you're moving, when you're so wired, so, so dialed in where you don't even hear all of the mental chatter because you're so laser focused. Okay, now, uh, remember, growth feels like you're losing yourself because you are. You're losing the version of you that can't go where you're trying to go. In order to bring that dream to life, that old version of you is probably not going to be the version of you that, that is the most conducive to getting to that next level. It's a big part of the process. Now, the internal battle. The internal battle. The battle shows up as things like procrastination, self-sabotage, overthinking, and comfort seeking. So think about this. Um, I, I remember when I first got started in business, it was, it was so challenging. There were a lot of days where- Um, I just did not feel like reaching out to people to, like, talk to my-- talk to them about my product or my service. And why is that? Because of the re- the resistance of, of rejection. You didn't wanna have to put yourself out there, and you have that sense of procrastination. And you'll justify, uh... For example, like I remember I got really, really good at procrastination at one, one, uh, season of my life. I was a procrastinator, so really, really good. And I'm not sure how many of y'all have been procrastinators at some point in time, but, you know, I was so good at procrastination to the point where I would justify not putting in work because I was, like, learning something new. So I'd be doing all this personal development, reading all these books, listening to the audio programs and the podcasts and all that stuff, telling myself, selling myself on,"Oh, well, I gotta learn all this stuff first." Meanwhile, I knew in my heart of hearts that I needed to be putting in the work. I remember my life coach at the time, she had mentioned to me, like, that I was hiding behind the personal development. And it was true. I was justifying all of my, uh, you know, like the, the, the, the tuning in to every call and, and every audio and, and doing that constantly just so that I didn't have to put in the work. And one thing that I've learned over the years is ignorance on fire is better than intellect on ice. Sometimes, like, the people who do the best are just, like, ignorance on fire. They're, they're going out there, they're putting in the work, and they're not even giving themselves enough time to get in their own inner dialogue in their, in their head. So procrastination is a big part of this in- internal battle. You, you will have those moments where you go through it. Sometimes it's doom scrolling on social media. Sometimes it's, like, you talking to family members over the phone and you, you done spent two hours out of your day talking with a family member or friend, right? And you're really just procrastinating. Another thing is self-sabotage. Sometimes we self-sabotage. We'll get caught up in vices that aren't necessarily helpful, right? And we end up sabotaging our success, and that's a big, that's a big part of it as well. Overthinking, paralysis of overanalysis. How many of you can relate to that? For, for those of you analytical people, if you're like me, you're, you're probably very analytical and you think through a lot of different things. Like, I think so much, like I-- it takes me sometimes, like, two hours before I get my day rolling because I'm always thinking about something, planning or thinking or strategizing. So I'm one of those overthinkers, so I can definitely relate to that. But you don't want to be the person that gets caught up In paralysis of analysis. You've gotta be a certified trigger puller if you're gonna make things happen. Act and then think. Sometimes that's the, that's a better, better option. It's not, it's not aim, you know, and fire. It's, it's fire and then aim as you fire. That's the idea. Another thing is comfort seeking. So comfort seeking comes in all kinds of forms, and my recommendation, especially if you're an entrepreneur, stay off the couch. Stay off the couch. Stay off of Netflix. Cancel your s- subscriptions if you have to because you're probably getting caught up binge-watching. Now, if you get control over it, that's a different thing. Like, I, I love binge-watching from time to time, and for me it's, it's one of the ways that I unwind. I like catching, uh, different shows. My wife and I, we were just watching, uh, this show. It's a Korean series called When Life Gives You Tangerines. It's so good. If you guys haven't seen it, I definitely recommend it. Have no association to them, but it was a really, really good series. And we like binge-watching, but it's more of a celebration than it is a li- a lifestyle. Like, we're not doing that every day, right? Because if you're doing it every day, it could end up being a form of self-sabotage or comfort seeking. Now, you'll, you'll have days where you know what to do, but you still don't do it. How many of you can relate to that? Okay, and by the way, When Life Gives You Tangerines, yeah, I believe it's on Netflix, if I'm not mistaken. Now, think about this, right? You'll have days when you know what to do, but you still can't do it. You still can't get around doing it. Why is that? Well, here's what, uh, some of my solutions to that. One of my recommendations is schedule in that thing, and be very clear on what that, that target is. You can't hit a target that you can't see, right? So for example, if you're looking to bring in new business, what is your target for that day? What is your big three or your three to thrive, the three things that you absolutely have to get done for the day? I find that a lot of people who struggle with results and they struggle with their productivity is simply because they don't know what to do. They're just going with emotions. And remember, if you fail to plan, you plan to fail. As cliche as that sounds, it's true. So you have to schedule in the, the, the main things that you have to get done for the day. That's how you do what you know and not what you feel because if you just leave it up to the way that you feel, think about it. Motivation doesn't last. It's like you may feel motivated from time to time, but what do you do? How do you show up when you're just not motivated to do the work? Okay, now this is not laziness, right? That's your old identity fighting for survival. That's really what it comes down to. Your old identity trying to preserve itself. At any moment in time, your old identity is constantly trying to, you know, fight you to come back. Come back to the land of the common man. Come, come back to this, this world of mediocrity, right? But if, if you really want to, again, get to the next level in your life, you're going to have to navigate through that, okay? Now, you wanna normalize, uh, the struggle. And when I say normalize the struggle, essentially what we're talking about is the idea that, uh, for example, high performers deal with this too, the best in the world. Every single day, us high performers, we have to show up. Like, there are so many weeks-- You guys hear me talk about this all the time. There are so many weeks where I just did not feel like waking up to do this damn Breakfast Club. And there, there were many times where I was on two or three hours of sleep, but I still had to show up. That's the idea. Doing what you know, not necessarily what you feel, right? It's, it's not going to go away. The resistance doesn't go away. You just get stronger. In the words of Jim Rohn,"Don't wish times were easier. Wish you were better." Don't, don't wish for easier-- Why would you wish for easier times? Why would you w-wish for no resistance? Think about this. If your dream required no resistance, everybody would have that dream, and would you really value it the same? It's like the idea that if, if, if you love, let's say, sports cars, maybe you want a Lamborghini. But imagine if everybody on your block had a Lamborghini. Would you really value it, right? It's the exclusivity that people love. It's, it's the fact that there's only one champion, one championship, right? If everybody had a championship, it-- you would not value it the same. So that's a big thing to understand. You, you don't want to wish for easier times. The struggle, the resistance, the obstacles, all of those things are essential. The hard is what makes it an opportunity. So the best in the world deal with it every single day, and it's never gonna go away. You just have to become stronger in the process. Okay? So, uh, quick pit stop. For those of you in the month of May, um, I'm opening up-- I'm gonna be sending out an email campaign on this. I'm opening up 20 coaching sessions for the month of May, first come, first served. They're complimentary coaching sessions to help you navigate through this, this season of your life, whatever it is that you wanna do. If you wanna launch a podcast, if you wanna write a book, if you want to get to the next level with your business, if you need to get started in business or come up with a business idea. Whatever it is, whatever you need support in. Maybe you wanna lose weight and you need some guidance, you need some advice, um, you need some coaching. Uh, you guys know that I offer complimentary coaching sessions to my community. I've been doing it for years with hundreds and hundreds of attendees, and if you wanna take advantage of that, it's first come, first serve in the month of May. Um, take it while you can. I, I made the-- I'm making the first announcement here in The Breakfast Club, but I'm going to be putting out the message, uh, later on to our overall community. So, um, if you want, um, access to that complimentary session, I'm gonna drop my Calendly link at the end of this session. Um, I'll drop it in the comments, in the description, or you can just DM me the word coach and I'll send you over my Calendly so that you can get booked. I look forward to connecting with a lot of you guys. It's pretty much getting together with me, and I'm gonna help you through whatever it is that you're navigating through in this season. Take advantage of it. It doesn't come around all the time, but when it does, it's definitely helpful and, um, it's always great connecting with you guys one on one. So, uh, let's keep this show on the road. Next, we have some life hacks and fun facts for you guys. The very next life hack, or the very first life hack is act before you feel ready. Act before you feel ready. Your future self is built through action, not emotion. It's through action. That's really what it's gonna take, okay? Now, you don't wanna wait for confidence. Build it through repetition. That's how you build confidence, is you doing the work over and over and over, and eventually you get used to it. You get used to it. I initially, like, I remember when I first got started in business, one of the, the things that would always kind of freak me out was the idea of closing in sales. So it was, it was very uncomfortable for me to ask people, you know,"Are you ready to get started?" or,"Would you like to make a purchase?" It was super, super uncomfortable, and the more I did it, the more it just became like second nature. In fact, I started to get to a point where I looked forward to that moment, because I knew that in that moment, that was the moment of truth. That was, that was ultimately what led to what it was I was looking to do or accomplish. It was in those moments, that awkward silence when you-- after you ask someone are they ready to get started or are they ready to make a purchase and so on and so forth. Right? So sales is, is one thing, but closing is, is really what leads to the result, okay? So you don't wanna wait for confidence, you just get your repetitions in. That's the biggest thing. Whenever I'm working with, with coaches, uh, one of the things that I tell them is just coach your ass off. Like, just, just do it a lot. Get a lot of reps in. You have to get your reps in as much as possible, uh, s- for you to get good. Like, you've gotta get your 10,000 hours in. And today when, when people, uh, tune into just coaching sessions with me, oftentimes, you know, they'll, they'll ask me, like,"How did, how did you get to this point where you just know what to say or what to do?" And it just really has come from repetition, doing it over and over and over, and that's just anything that you wanna get good at. You've gotta master your craft. You've gotta do the work. You've gotta get those repetitions in, okay? The next life hack is shrink the gap. Shrink the gap. So instead of trying to become someone new overnight, focus on daily alignment. On daily alignment. So what... You, you could ask yourself,"What would my higher self do in this moment?" So think about today, for example. When it comes to just, you know, whatever it is that you wanna bring into fruition or this new, this new version of you t- what can you do today, something small? Like, what if you just focus on getting 1% better? Think about how much better you, you'd be over the course of a year just if, just by focusing on getting 1% better or 1% more in alignment. Now, there's so many ways you can do it. For example, if your north star, who you wanna be, how you wanna live, if your north star is one where you wanna be a certain weight, right, then what can you do today to showcase excellence, to showcase alignment? And perhaps it's going for that walk. Perhaps it's stretching yourself out or eating properly, right? Th- because that's in alignment with your north star. Maybe your north star is a certain amount of income that you're going after, and perhaps what you can do for the day is set a budget and stick to the budget, and if you stick to that budget, that's a win for the day. How many wins can you gather up for the day, wins that ultimately lead to who you wanna be, whether it's in your body, whether it's in your relationships, whether it's as a parent, whether it's as a business professional? What, what can you do today to be more in alignment with your higher self? Now, the third life hack is control your environment. I always like to say engineer your environment. You wanna position yourself and put yourself in a winner's world. You, you'd be amazed at how much your environment actually dictates where you go in this lifetime. So think about it. Think about who you are around, the types of people who you are around. Law of association is a serious thing. Your vibe attracts your tribe, right? If you hang around nine broke people, you're bound to be the 10th. This is a old cliche saying in the world of personal development, but it couldn't be further from the truth. Think about the income of the top five to 10 people that you're around. Now think of your own income. Is it right around the same? If it is, that's the reason. You're- you need to level up your, your community. You need to level up your association. Sometimes you've gotta love your friends at a distance. Sometimes you gotta love family at a distance. Sometimes you have to create limited associations, right? And it's not to say that you can't be someone's friend, but you have to be mindful at who you are around. Show me your friends and I'll show you your future. You have to get around people who are, who are always shooting to get to the next level, because success has a way of permeating in, in the environment. It, it rubs off on you. When you're around people who are thriving, when you are around people who are where you ultimately wanna be in life, it just has a way of rubbing off on you, okay? And this is a big, big part of the equation. Now, also think about what you consume. What is it that you're consuming on a day-to-day basis? Are you consuming just content that is not necessarily... Like, like maybe you're watching content that isn't inspirational or motivational or educational, and it's just, it's just content that's clickbait type of content, right? What are you consuming on a day-to-day basis? Are you watching the news all the time, and it's just negative news all the time? What you consume is a big, big part of it. Garbage in, garbage out, greatness in, greatness out, okay? And think about this. What do you tolerate when it comes to your environment? You wanna go where you're, you know, you're appreciated, not tolerated, where you're celebrated, okay? Your environment will either reinforce your old identity or accelerate your new one. I've had, I've had clients of mine, honestly, and you know, I've, I've worked with clients on all kinds of stuff. I've had clients of mine, people that I've coached, and I've coached them out of a relationship. Like, that was what we focused on because that relationship was so damn toxic that it was the very thing that was holding them back Sometimes you have to really evaluate your, your, your inner circle, and you guys hear me talk about this all the time. You've gotta raise the rent. You may have to go into your seas- your eviction season, where you've gotta evict people that have been occupying your mind rent-free. You may have to raise the rent. You may have to put a little doorman at the, at the doorway of your mind, protecting it from all of the negativity of the world, right? So you, you have to evaluate your relationships. If there's anything that I would say that has been one of the greatest contributors to, to where I am today, it's been my circle. It's been the people that I chose to be around. They all have a, a, either a, a massive positive impact on your life, or it could also lead you to self-sabotage. You know, are, are the people in your life, the people that you're doing the most life with, are they constantly leading you into destructive habits? It's a big, big part of the whole process. This will, this will ultimately, you know, help you on your journey in, in so many ways. I always like to think of my environment as kinda like a river. If, if you were on, let's just say, a boat, right? If you're on a boat and the boat is in a lake, then there's nothing to propel that boat, right? An object at rest will stay at rest. There's, there's nothing propelling it. However, if that same boat was in a river, even if there was no propulsion, the river would naturally carry that boat, and that's how your environment works. Your environment, right, will push you, or your environment will pull you when motivation can no longer push you, and it's the same with identity. It's the same with the people that you're around. It's, it's literally like being in a river as opposed to being in a lake because the river will naturally carry you to the destination. Of course, if you're going to, uh, you know, southbound or whatever, or wherever the river's going, right? And if you, if you put on the, the propeller, if you put on the sail, if you put on some, some type of propulsion, right, you go even faster. And the, the, the sail, the propeller, all of these different things are, are things that ultimately help you on your journey, so that's, that is the discipline. That is, that is the good habits. That is planning out your day. That is being very intentional about what you should be doing for the day. All of these things are there to support you on your journey. But the environment, the environment is one of the best things. I used to work on the Mississippi River, and, uh, many of you know that I am a, a licensed-- I'm licensed by the Coast Guard as a, as a maritime captain, merchant marine captain, and I still maintain my license to this day. And one of the, the, the regions of this country where I learned how to pilot cargo was on the Mississippi River. And the thing about the Mississippi River is when you're navigating through it, you always have to take into account the current. You have to take into account the flow of the river because the very flow of the, the river also is one of the elements that, that help you or hinder you when it comes to navigating, right, or piloting cargo. Sometimes you allow the river to help you with your maneuvers, right? Because... And, and there are times where the river, the river, a lot of people don't know this, but the, the speed of the river is dependent on how much the, the, the, the water is melting, like in the Great Lakes. So the Great Lakes up north, that water, that, that frozen water, it melts throughout the course of the year, or sometimes it's rainwater, and all of this stuff leads to how fast that river is flowing. And the reason why I bring that up is because your environment, right, the very people that you're around, the environment like your home, your space, I always say a cluttered home is a cluttered mind, a cluttered mind is a cluttered life, right? All of these different things are there to support you on your journey. And if you're intentional about your environment, it can be the very thing that helps carry you to your destination, just like the river. The river will help carry you to your destination if you understand how to u-use it properly. All right? Now, fun fact. If this is making sense, by the way, drop a V in the comments for value. I'm gonna make sure that this is all making sense and you guys are getting value so far. Appreciate the comments. Appreciate for those of you who engage. Uh, don't forget, if you don't mind, like, comment, share, tag someone who can get value, and we'll be bringing it in for a landing right now. Now, fun fact. Your brain uses about 20% of your energy, and it prefers efficiency, which is why it resists change. Think about this, this three-pound flesh of matter, right? Like, this, this, this three-pound, like, sponge in our, in our body, in our, in our head, it takes 20% of our energy. That's a lot of, that's a lot of power that, that it consumes, and that's why it prefers efficiency, and this is a big part of why it ultimately resists change, right? Because change requires a lot of effort. You have to put in the work. It's like working out. You have to put in extra energy in order to work out. Now, fun fact number two is it takes an average of 66 days to form a new habit A lot of people think it's 21 days. 21 days will just kinda get the ball rolling. For those of you who've been in our community for a lot of years, you know that I would launch these 21 days to transformation challenges really just to get the ball rolling when it comes to coaching. Um, you know, you coach someone on at least 21 days with, to, to instill these new habits, but really 66 days is when that habit really gets embedded in, in your brain, and now it becomes a lifestyle, okay? So if you have anything in your life that you're looking to become a habit, whether it's your exercise or whether it's some- maybe it's writing because you wanna be an author or whatever, tr- do your best to go at least 66 days doing that very thing because that's what it takes, okay? It's not gonna happen overnight. Now, fun fact number three is your subconscious mind runs about 95% of your daily actions, meaning most of your life is automated. Think about how powerful that is. Your subconscious mind runs about 95% of your daily actions. That's a lot. And that's how the, the, the brain ultimately preserves its, its energy. It's through the subconscious mind. It, it's... You have to get to a place where these things are unconscious competence. That's why scheduling things are so powerful because when you schedule it, it sort of takes it out of your mind. Now, if you don't reprogram it, it will keep replaying the same exact life. You have to learn how to re- like, I, I, I like to refer to it as upgrading your software. You have to break the habit of being yourself, as Dr. Joe Dispenza would oftentimes say, because we have a habit of being ourselves. And when I say being ourselves, it doesn't necessarily mean your authentic self. That may be a persona that you, you put on or that you've created throughout the course of your life to be accepted, right? But how do you get to a place of authenticity? How do you break the habit of living that, that persona or that facade that you've been clinging to? And let's be honest, when you're not living an authentic life, living a life that's just being someone to cater to everybody else, it's exhausting. There's nothing more liberating than living a life of authenticity because authenticity is the highest expression of self-love. How can you live a life that's more true to you? It's a lot less exhausting, I can tell you that. Now, how to win the war, and this is what we'll close out with. When it comes to winning the war, understand this: you don't eliminate the old you. You outgrow it You outgrow it. I don't know about y'all, but I've, I've had moments in my life where I just got tired. Like, sometimes even to the point of disgust. Like, have you ever gotten to a point in your life where you've just been disgusted with how you've been living or what you've been accepting or tolerating, not only from other people from, but from yourself? You're just like,"Nah, this ain't it. This is not me." Like, and, and it, it, it's like when I catch myself, for example, if I spend too many days, like, drinking alcohol, and I'm not an alcoholic, but, you know, sometimes you'll go a string of days if you're, if you're hanging out with friends or you're constantly out, you know, you may catch yourself, you know, having a drink or two and, and you go many days. And it's like, yeah, that's not, that's not what I want for my life. Like, my body, my body is not operating at its best because of this. And you just get to a place where you let it g- let it go. You outgrow it. Sometimes it's, it's the relationships you keep, right? The, the old you may have entertained certain relationships, and these relationships are... Let's be honest. They, they may be relationships with people just gossiping, talking about other people. And whenever you find yourself in an environment where people are constantly talking about other people, it's time for a new environment. Get in, get in an, in an environment where people are talking about dreams, goals, aspirations, not talking about other people. Right? Now, another thing is consistency is greater than intensity. Intensity is not sustainable. Like, you can be intense from time to time, but consistency is more important. Sometimes just getting really good at doing the small thing, right? Get really, really good at that as opposed to having a, a, a bunch of discipline for a short burst of energy, a, a, a short period of time, and then it's like a week later you're not keeping up with it, right? It's so much better to be consistent with, with something small than to just have these short bursts of discipline. Discipline means nothing if you can't be consistent with that discipline, and this is why it is essential to have these micro goals, small goals that are attainable throughout the day, goals that you can do on your very worst day. It's like working out. I don't really care to be in the gym for two hours. Like, or even an hour. For me, I like to be in, I like to be out. So I, I like a little 25 to 45 minutes max. 25 minutes on the low end, 45 minutes on the high end. That's, like, my threshold. But preferably closer to 25 minutes, and I get in, and I get out, right? And that's what has allowed me to just stay consistent. Maybe for you it's just going for a walk, but something that you can do on your worst day. If it's, let's just say, writing a book. Maybe you're working on writing a book. Well, maybe you just sit down and write a paragraph for the day. And that's what you do because you... That's something that you can do even when you don't feel like it, just sitting down. I, I love the advice that Rick Rubin would give to his artists. You know, he would send them home and just tell them to write down one word, and that's typically how he would go about helping them gain momentum with, with writing a new song, right? Write down one word. What can you do on your worst day? So consistency, remember, is greater than intensity. Now, identity is built through proof, right? It's built through proof. So if you wanna become a person that is a disciplined person, well, you have to have consistent acts of discipline, and that's what ultimately will lead to identity. Like today, I, I identify as a disciplined and consistent person because I've just proved to myself over and over and over again that I can do this. And, and this can be the case with anything. What is the identity that you're looking to fulfill, and how can you build more proof, right? So that you reinforce it, and it becomes a part of who you are. Now, you win this war, this war that you're battling between the old version of you and the version you wanna bring to life. The way you win this war is by showing up, especially when you don't feel like it. Just show up. I remember a mentor of mine would always say that over half the battle is just showing up. If you can just show up, that's, that's literally over half the battle is showing up and doing the work, whatever that looks like. Sometimes it's just going to the gym. Maybe all you got in you is to do 10 push-ups, but just show up to the gym, and what you'll find is just the act of showing up will help you get some momentum. Okay? Remember, you win by choosing your future self over and over and over again until it becomes who you are. You want to-- Even if you have to act, right? Like act as if you have that thing. Move the way that you move. Who, who do you wanna become in 10 years? Now, how can you live that version today, right? You don't have to buy a bunch of expensive clothes or anything like that, but how close can you get to your future self today? And how can you act like that person as much as possible every single day, and what can you do every single day to align yourself with that version of yourself? Maybe it's the way you carry yourself. Maybe it's the company that you keep. Maybe it's the type of food that you put in your body. Maybe it's, it's your lifestyle choices. But what can you do today to align yourself with that version that you're looking to become? Now, as we close out here, there's nothing wrong with you- If this feels hard, it's supposed to feel hard because you're not just changing your habits, you're changing your identity. And the version of you that's waiting on the other side of this, that version of you is worth the fight. Ladies and gentlemen, breakfast is officially served. I hope that today's session was valuable for you. If it was, you know, drop a, drop a one in the comment threads. I definitely appreciate for those of you who engage, who comment, I, I appreciate it. Like, comment, share, tag someone who can get value. Uh, subscribe if you're on the YouTube channel tuning in. Uh, and yes, definitely appreciate all the love, and don't forget to DM me the word coach if you want my, uh, my booking link, I can send it to you for a complimentary coaching session. I only have 20 for this month, so once they're gone, they are gone. And, uh, all in all, have a wonderful rest of your week. Do something today to align yourself with your future self, and I'll be seeing you next week. Take care. God bless.