Why You Keep Waiting for Permission

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why you keep waiting for permission. This Breakfast Club session is pretty much going to be, for, those of you who probably have been putting things off. Maybe you've been waiting for the green light on something that you've been waiting to do for quite some time. Maybe you're waiting for, permission from people that you do life with. Maybe it can be everything from your spouse to your children to people that you probably work with to, uh, just even feeling qualified to do whatever it is that you wanna do. I know I've definitely been here, so, uh, you guys are gonna get a lot of value from this morning's session. And, think about this. Some of the doors that you are waiting, for someone to open were never locked Right? Think about how profound that is. Like, a lot of the doors that you're waiting on are literally just one door handle away from you getting through that door to where you ultimately wanna be. Think about also the fact that a lot of people are not stuck because they lack talent, vision, or opportunity. They're simply stuck because they are waiting for someone to validate them first. So that's gonna be the premise of today's, uh, Breakfast Club session. It's, it's pretty much going to be, uh, being in a space in your life where, you know, you feel in a sense that, uh, there's something that, that has to be validated. There's something that has to give you the green light to, uh, do the things that you wanna do, things that you've probably been putting off because you've been sort of waiting for everything to, uh, be the way that you want it to be. And from my personal experience, especially navigating through entrepreneurship, I most certainly have had those seasons in my life where I kind of like held off, or I've had paralysis of analysis because you're thinking about what other people are thinking, right? And, uh, there are gonna be moments in your life where you just have to get to the conclusion that, you know what? I have to pull the trigger on what I ultimately wanna do. I don't need permission from anyone. And, uh, you need that reassurance from time to time. So, uh, there are a lot of people stuck simply because they are waiting for someone to validate them, right? Waiting to be chosen, to be approved, waiting to feel ready, waiting for the perfect timing, you know, waiting for someone to say that you're finally qualified to do whatever it is that you wanna do. Think about that. How many moments in your life have you had any of those things happen to you, right? But remember this, leadership doesn't begin the moment you stop waiting for permission. Uh, well, leadership begins the moment you stop waiting for permission and start moving with conviction. That's the name of the game, not needing anyone's approval or validation to be able to do what you ultimately wanna do. So welcome. For those of you who are tuning in, welcome, welcome. I see we have, uh, everybody from, uh, tuning in from YouTube. Uh, drop a subscribe. Hit the subscribe button if you're tuning in via YouTube, by the way. And, uh, appreciate all the love and the engagement, um, as always. So let's jump into it. Now, think about this. How many dreams are sitting on the shelf because people simply are waiting to feel ready? Right? I've, I've had people, you know, just kind of like, uh, especially me being in the coaching space, I've, I've worked with a lot of people that simply have had moments throughout, uh, you know, their lives where they're just kind of waiting on, on the little things that I know in my heart of hearts that they really don't have to wait on, right? But sometimes you just need that, that reassurance, I guess, for, for some people. And I know for me, um, it was interesting, uh, when I had got into the, the podcasting space, um, and even the coaching space, I remember just feeling as if, you know... Um, I was a bit concerned, right? Because I had, uh, been so accustomed to doing business with one specific business, one specific community, and it was very uncomfortable to branch out and kind of do my own thing. And, you know, I was just so caught up in what other people, what my colleagues would think, what my business partners would think, and so caught up in that, right? Or, or just even the identity BS that we kinda tell ourselves. And it wasn't until I just, you know, ripped the damn Band-Aid off and was like, "You know what? I'm gonna do what I feel is right for me, no matter what they think." Like, who gives a damn about the opinions of people who don't pay your bills, right? It's crazy how we get so caught up in what everybody else thinks, and these are people that, you know, don't have to be in the trenches with you m- in most cases. The people that aren't paying your bills, people who are, are just there and, and, and their opinion just holds so much weight, um, on your life. And, and it is important to liberate yourself, right, of the opinions of other people. So think about how many businesses, how many podcasts, books, ideas, and callings are delayed because someone is waiting to be picked And sometimes it's that. You're waiting for a seat at the table. And from my personal experience, there are many moments where you have to build your own table. I remember when I got into the speaking world, uh, for example, it was, uh, you know, the w- the, the, the fees that I charge, you know, for a one-hour keynote I charge $25,000 for one hour. And the, the reality is there aren't many organizations, uh, many companies that can afford, you know, to pay a speaker that rate. And I, you know, I just refuse to settle for just what every other speaker was charging. So for me, one of the things that I've been adamant about is just building my own table, building my own platforms. As opposed to just waiting for speaking opportunities to arrive, I just, you know, created my own events. This is why, uh, the Creators Conference was ultimately created. Not only to have my own platform to speak at, but to also have a platform for other people, right? To be able to build a table so that you can have chairs for other people who are on the come-up. So again, it's not about just waiting for a seat at the table. It's not waiting for that door to be open. Sometimes it's important to just build the very thing that you're waiting for. Now, think about how most of the time, you know, nobody is coming to officially give you permission. It's just not the way it works. It's not like you're gonna have this stroke of luck every single time where someone's gonna say, "Hey, you know, here you go." It's not, it's not always gonna be handed to you on a silver platter, and, and that's why it is important to just blaze a trail. Blaze your own trail. If you don't see a path to follow, you- there, there are gonna be many moments where you have to blaze your own trail, and that's where some of the greatest opportunities lie. So you have to authorize yourself in, in many, many cases. Um, and I can just tell you time and time again throughout my personal experience- There have been so many moments where, um, I've had to authorize myself when it comes to the prices that I set in the marketplace, when it comes to what services I provide or what, what platforms or what business opportunities I decide to create for myself. So the main thought really is permission is often just fear wearing a professional outfit. How, how profound is that, right? Uh, we're waiting for permission, and I think that a lot of it is rooted in just us kinda clinging to that little boy or little girl that dwells within us. You know, when you think about just being a, a young child, oftentimes you're waiting for permission from an authority figure to, to tell you, "Hey, it's okay. Hey, you can do this," or maybe to validate you. And there, there's a saying that sometimes you have to, you have to silence that little boy, silence that little girl, you know, in order to really blossom to your fullest potential because we do have that tendency, especially if you haven't fell, um, into many, uh, if, if you haven't fallen into many leadership roles. It's very normal to get into a tendency of waiting for, for other people to give you the, the permission, give you the green light to do what it is that you ultimately need to do. But leadership, it is 100% like grabbing the bull by the horns and, and really taking control over your destiny and doing what it is that you know in your heart of hearts you should be doing. So let's get us kick-started with three life hacks here. Our very first life hack is, number one, start before you feel fully ready. Readiness usually comes after action, not before. So the idea is shoot, aim, and then fire, right? Or it's, it's not... Or, um, fire. Fire and then aim. It's not, it's not aim and just kinda wait for the moment to be right. You know, there are many moments where you just have to shoot and then kinda aim as you go. And, and it's a lot like that when it comes to just your overall dreams and things that you ultimately, uh, wanna pursue in your life. And, and remember, confidence is built by doing the thing. It's not gonna come in advance. It's not like confidence is a prerequisite for accomplishing great things. Many times the confidence is built as you're out there in the field, in the trenches doing the work. And remember, you do not need the full staircase, just the next step. Right? You don't need to know every single step of the way. If the why is strong enough, the how is irrelevant because the how will figure itself out if you have the why. So that's the biggest takeaway more than anything. Now, um, think about this. Most people want confidence before they move, but confidence is usually the reward for moving. Okay? So get out there, put in the work. And I, I remember even, um, in the world of entrepreneurship, it's not like you're just born with the ability to sale, uh, to sell and negotiate and to lead. No, you just kinda learn these things as you go. My, my confidence when I first got started was nothing in comparison to what it was 10 years after just doing the work. So get out there. No matter how ugly it looks, no matter, you know, how refined you are, it really doesn't matter. It's just about, you know, just getting the ball rolling. It's like the old cliche saying that you don't have to be great to start, but you have to start to be great. Now, next thing is stop asking everyone for approval. That's the second life hack. Feedback is helpful, but approval can become a trap. Not everyone has the vision, courage, or experience to understand your next move. And that's the thing. Sometimes when it comes to a vision that you have, you gotta understand that a lot of people aren't gonna see things the way that you see them, and that's okay. And another thing is you have to be mindful that not everybody's even qualified to have an opinion on what it is that you're doing with your life, e- especially if they've never done the thing. So, uh, they don't know, right, your, your potential all the time. They don't know your willingness to, to get up and do the work. They don't know what you're going through in terms of your mental health. They don't know all of the variables, but you do, and you're always going to be the most qualified person to dictate, you know, how you should go about your life because really no one, no one truly knows what you go through like you, right? No one lives in your head. So it is important to, to have that understanding. I remember- You know, when it came to, uh, my own life, I was, I was taking a lot of opinions and, you know, what everybody else w- who was quote unquote "qualified" to speak on and, and just holding them on a pedestal to the point where, you know, I wasn't trusting my own judgment. And I, I had to get to a point in my life where I was just like, "You know what? You're qualified to, to, to have an opinion on this." Especially, you know, when I think about even, even in terms of matters of, of spirituality, like I remember, um, like there, there'd be certain spiritual teachers, for example, where they have one dimension of understanding spirituality. But I remember really coming to the conclusion that, you know, I've, I've traveled all around the world. I've explored many different religions, many different ways of life, many tr- many traditions, cultures, and, and I've interviewed a lot of people and I've, I've, I've read many different scriptures and I came to the conclusion that, you know, I need to trust my own judgment on this, right? It's not about what somebody else says. That's their experience. That's from their point of reference, and it is okay to trust your own judgment, especially if you have a wide range of, of knowledge on many different things. So, um, I've, I've had this happen, uh, not only with spiritual matters, but, um, even from a, from a business standpoint or how you should go about your family. Not, not all families, it's not like a, a, a one size fits all approach when it comes to going about your family life. It's like we, we homeschool our kids, right? For some people, they may feel like, oh, well, you know, your kids are not going to get the social development that kids who go to school get, right? Just ridiculous things like that, but they don't really understand and it's like why would I really value, put so much value and weight on the opinions of people who've never even gone through the process? Meanwhile, I've got other people who had homeschooled their kids, and they said it was the best thing they could have ever done, and they would have done it over and over again if they had the choice to repeat it. So You know, you have to get to a place in your life where, again, you can take people's opinions and, you know, what they say and their ideas with a grain of salt, but you ultimately have to make th- the decision for what's right for you. Okay? Especially when it comes to relationships, for example. Everybody's got an opinion of how you should raise your, raise your children, how you should go about relationships. It's funny when I have people, for example, uh, they're, they're giving relationship advice, but they've never been in a, in a serious long-term relationship. Meanwhile, they have an opinion, but they don't know the, the, all of the things that you have to go through behind the scenes. It's like, it's so easy to give relationship advice or ch- or advice on how to raise your, your child if you've never raised a child, if you've never had to deal with all of the things that, that come with, with being a parent, right? Being a spouse. There's so many dimensions of it that other people just will never understand until they actually go through it themselves, right? So again, it is super, super important to trust your own judgment with certain things in your life, with most things in your life. Okay, next. Um, sometimes you keep asking because deep down you want someone to talk you out of it. Think about that. How, how diabolical is that, right? Like, you'll, you'll have this, this part of you deep down that, that has this fear, right? You act as if you want that thing, but deep down inside you want someone to just, like, tell you, "Oh, you know, it's okay. You know, like, it's not that deep. Oh, don't put in the work. Oh, you know, it's like..." Or, or they'll, they'll, they'll kinda tell you, um, they'll, they'll convince you that, you know, hard work, it's, it's like, like, success is not everything in life, or winning isn't everything in life. You'll hear these things, right? But oftentimes they're from people that are living mediocre lives. And let's call it for what it is. If you talk to someone who's won in their life, they'll tell you, like, it's, it's been, it's been a, a, a joy. Like, I can tell you for, for my own life, you know, accomplishing things have been some of the greatest joys of my life, have been ref- the ability to reflect on past wins, past accomplishments, uh, beautiful experiences that I've had throughout the course of my life. And I mean, it's been absolutely worth the hard work. All of the hard work, all of the, the, the, the nights where you're burning the midnight oil, all of that stuff has been absolutely worth it. The pursuit of success has been worth it because of the person you become in the process, and because of the appreciation you have for what it is that, that you obtain in your life. Super, super valuable to understand. Okay? Next we have- Be careful who you ask for permission. Some people will only approve the version of you they are comfortable with. Think about that. The person that you're seeking advice from, the person that you're sharing your ideas. Think about this. What does that person have to, to gain by you staying the same? It's like the old saying that misery loves company. Think about the person that you're seeking counsel from, the people that you're seeking advice from. Sometimes people have some, uh, secondary gain or, or benefit from, from you being average, you being stuck in mediocrity, you living a life where, let's just say you're turning up on the weekends, or maybe that sh- that was your drinking buddy, right? And you guys always hang out, or you party together, you hang out together, and you're always kumbaya-ing together. And now you wanna go and pursue a path of greatness, something that's going to require you to sacrifice, and they lose their drinking partner. They lose their, their friend that they would turn up with. And think about that. Why would you go to that person to talk about you changing your life? Now, you know, sometimes it's like, yeah, you can share ideas, and if they're ambitious, they're gonna be like, "Hey, let's do it together. Like, maybe we can hold each other accountable." But you always have to be mindful, like, who is the source that you're going to, right? Is this the best person? Do they have any gain by me remain- remaining the same, by me staying comfortable? Okay? A lot of people who are just stuck in their mediocrity, they're, they're stuck with, with just living an average life because they, they're too fearful of embarking on their dreams, the things that they ultimately wanna do. Sometimes by you putting in the work and you really changing your circumstances is like putting a mirror in front of their face and, and that's, that's a tough pill to swallow for a lot of people. So you always wanna be mindful at who you're seeking counsel from. My, my recommendation is go to people who are already successful and talk to them, right? People who don't have anything to gain by or anything to lose in a sense, right? People who have an unbiased opinion about you progressing in your life Next, the last life hack is make one brave move today. Make one brave move today. What does it look like for you? Maybe it's sending the email, posting the video, launching the offer, making the call, apply for the opportunity, or just start the conversation. Whatever it looks like for you, what if you could just make one brave move today? Not next week. It's always best to take action, especially when the iron is hot and the emotion is strong, or the idea is hot and the emotion is strong, as Jim Rohn would, would say. Now, you do-- you don't need to change your whole life today. You just need to make one move that proves you are no longer waiting. That's the biggest thing. I see so many people waiting for circumstances to be right, and it's, it's unfortunate, right? Because this is, this is the hard truth. I-it-it reminds me of when, when I was having my first child, uh, with my wife, uh, my son Z. And I was 25 years old. And the truth is, I did not feel ready to have a child. I was just like, I mean, damn, does this come with like a manual? Like, what is it? Like, I have no idea what to do. And I remember uh, reaching out to my, my, my parents at the time just like, like, "What do I do here?" You know? Like, "How, how did you figure this out?" My mom had six of her own children that came out of her womb and, you know, she seemed to do all right. And uh, what, what I didn't realize is like with parenting, you kinda naturally learn as you go. And there's, there's no like rule book per se. Like yeah, you can get educated and things like that, but you kinda learn as you go. And it was, it was very nerve-wracking. And the thing about it is imagine if I was like, "You know what? I have to wait for all of the conditions to be perfect before I finally have a child." I see people even, you know, uh, you'll hear this a lot, you know, "I wanna wait till I'm financially stable." Well, what if you don't become financially stable till you're like 50, right? I mean, nothing wrong per se. I mean, if you're a man and you're 50, I mean, you could have children for a very long time, but like are... is that gonna be the one thing that holds you back? I know people who refuse to have more children simply because they're fear- fearful of not being able to provide. And it's like, yeah, that's one way of going about life, but I feel like there are moments in your life where you have to stretch yourself. You have to really push yourself. And it's not to be irresponsible and just say, "You know what? Let me pop out all of these babies," but don't let fear be the number one thing that determines whether or not you have children, right? Or if you feel ready or feel like you're mature enough. Sometimes you just have to go and, and develop yourself as you go. It's like the, the old saying of taking that leap of faith and growing your wings on the way down. Now I'm gonna share three fun facts Or thought starters, if you will, uh, before we jump into the main topic. Number one is many major companies start before they look official So if you're an entrepreneur or you're, you're starting your own business, understand it ain't gonna look pretty, guys. Like, when I first started The Breakfast Club session, uh, or these Breakfast Club sessions, before I even started The Journey podcast, like, it was not pretty at all. Like, I was, I was doing The Breakfast Club. I didn't have, like, no fancy equipment, fancy lighting, cameras, fancy microphones, nothing like that. I was doing it right off of a laptop, scrappy background. I would look scrappy. I'd wake up literally 20 minutes before The Breakfast Club session, and I'd have my host at the time just kinda getting it kick-started, and I would just wing it. I didn't have any notes. There was no, there, there was no AI to kinda help me structure my, my research or notes or anything like that, and I just went for it. I went for it, and I just kind of figured it out as I went. And even with my podcast, when I, when I got started, it was just like, "Hey," like, "what do we have to do?" I didn't wait for a fancy studio. I literally, uh, started a traveling show where I could shoot from anywhere because I didn't wanna l- limit myself to any budget or anything like that. So again, you don't have to look official to get started. It doesn't have to be perfect. There's so many people that get caught up in perfectionism, and perfectionism is the enemy to execution. So many times, I, I, I can't tell you time and time again the amount of people that I've mentored over, over my life who just want everything to be perfect, and it is a trap. Now, some of the biggest brands began in garages. Think Google. Think Facebook in the dorm room. Small apartments. I remember hearing the story of, I believe it was Grey Goose, the gentleman that started Grey Goose, the, the, the, the liquor, the vodka, and, uh, if I'm not mistaken, he had put together the formula, like, in his bathtub, right? Like, even, even side hustles. Lot- a lot of big companies start off as side hustles. So it's important to understand that it doesn't have to be all fancy, and most entrepreneurs, right, they didn't wait until everything looked polished. It's, it's not about that. It's just, again, just getting the ball rolling, right? The w- the world often rewards people who start messy but stay committed. That's the biggest takeaway. Next, we have number two: most people overestimate how much others are watching This is a big one. It's called the spotlight effect in the world of psychology, where you tend to think that the world is just, like, there's this huge spotlight on you, and everybody's talking about you. Everybody's thinking about you. Listen- Let me spare you of the, the agony. People are so caught up in their own world. There's so many distractions out there. There's so many companies that strategically set up algorithms just to grab people's attention. I can assure you that no one is so caught up and immersed in your life that that's all they're thinking about. Get over this idea that everybody's thinking about you because they're not. Okay? And we really do have this tendency to overestimate how much others are actually watching and tuning in, right? We think everyone is judging us, but most people, again, are just focused on their own lives, so caught up in their own... Think about how self-centered people naturally are, especially in this generation. So what makes you think that they're so just consumed with your own life? It may seem like that, but it's just not the case, and the fear of being seen is often bigger than the actual criticism. I remember Jim Rohn said, "They ain't that..." He said something along the lines, and I'm paraphrasing here. He said something along the lines of like, you know, in terms of the haters, there's not that many of them. You know, just about, about a dozen or so. It's just they move around a lot. You know? Like, there's not s- like a ridiculous plethora of, of haters out there that are just like attacking you. No, usually it's just a handful of them that, that, that kinda linger around, and that's it. I remember my mentor would always say that if you wanna be admired by thousands, you must be willing to take ridicule from a few dozen ignorant ones Just comes with the territory, but it's not that many, okay? So that, that's a big one. I, I remember I w- and I share this all the time on, on the Breakfast Club. I didn't want to put my, uh, Breakfast Club out there to the general public. I, for, for a long time, I had it in a private Facebook group, and I didn't wanna put it out to the general public because I was fearful of being trolled. I would see comments of other influencers and, and people who would share content online, and I was just, like, fearful of someone trolling me. And I, I would always, like, just felt like I had to remind people, like, "Hey, if there's something that's not accurate, like, make sure you do your own research, or take it with a grain of salt," or all these things just to kind of, um, avoid myself from being trolled about being wrong or something like that. And eventually, you know, I just realized that people are-- they're, they're not that obsessed to the point where they're all up in your DMs, and at the end, uh, or, or all up in your comments trolling. And at the end of the day, you do have a block button on all social media platforms. There is the ability to block someone, right? So, I mean, block and move on. It's as simple as that. Next, um, the, the-- you may-- the really great point here. You may be hiding from an audience that is not even paying attention yet. How crazy is that? Really great takeaway. Last but not least, number three is leadership often starts without a title. Leadership often starts without a title. You do not need a title to lead. You lead by taking responsibility. You lead by going first. You lead by embodying the message. It's like I always share the saying of my mentor, "You are who you say you are until you prove otherwise." You have to embody the very thing that you're spreading out there, okay? And the main point is authority is not always given. Sometimes it is demonstrated, okay? So let's jump into it. The main talking points of today. Uh, the first thing is, uh, self-doubt and validation. Self-doubt of validation. So there are gonna be a few talking points. The first one is gonna be on self-doubt and validation. We're gonna be covering the fear of being seen, owning your authority, taking action before you feel ready. Okay? Permissionless leadership as well. So a lot of different topics we'll be, uh, covering around this. Make sure you guys are taking notes. We are a note-taking community, and, uh, as corny as it sounds, note-takers are history makers as I oftentimes share here. So, uh, definitely take notes as if you will someday teach this. That's the best way to learn, by the way, um, is not to only, uh, listen, right, but also take notes, and then most importantly, teach it to someone. Because when you share it, what you vocalize, you internalize, you wanna be able to embody this information. Most of the times, think about how much you learned in school back in the day that you really don't remember, right? Because you probably didn't have to teach it or you didn't assimilate the information. Probably just learned it long enough to pass that multiple ch-choice que- uh, that most-mult- multiple choice question or, or test that you had to take. So if you really want to learn this material, like study it, learn it, write it down, teach it. That's the best way. Now, self-doubt and validation. A lot of people are not waiting on opportunity, they are waiting on validation. Very powerful takeaway, okay? So wanting people, for example, to believe in you before you believe in yourself is a big one. Listen, you have to be the first person to believe in yourself. That's just the way it is. You're not always gonna have the luxury of people just there being your cheerleader clapping for you. It's not the way it works. You have to have that belief in yourself first, and you can't expect for other people to believe in you if you don't even have belief in yourself. Next is needing reassurance before making a move. That's a big one. Lot of people need many people to reassure them, "Hey, this is the right path." Like, yeah, that's helpful, but you can't not move forward and follow your heart simply because nobody's there reassuring you. Okay, the next is confusing support with permission. Right? Confusing support with permission. Lot of people, again, waiting for permission and, like, support and permission, two different things. And why validation, uh, feels good but can become addictive is a big one, right? Think about that. Validation is like you're getting a sense of significance when you're validating- when you're validated, and that can ultimately become a, a, a feeling of addic- like you're, you're, you're now addicted to the approval of other people, and that is a major trap. Because the reality is there are gonna be many moments, many seasons where you don't have that validation, and there is nobody there to cheer you on, root you on, and you have to be the one to encourage yourself, okay? And there's a-- there's also the idea of, you know, how waiting for approval weakens self-trust. That's a big one, right? You have to be able to trust yourself, trust your ability to execute, your ability to stay disciplined, stay consistent, and do things when they need to be done, right? Not when you feel like doing it. You, you do what you know, not what you feel. So every time you wait for someone else to validate your vision, you quietly train yourself not to trust your own It's a big one. So you have to, again, let go of the approval of other people, waiting for other people to validate you. You validate yourself, okay? And, and it's as simple as sometimes you just have to remind yourself why you're qualified, remind yourself why you can do it, why you can do the thing that you probably are scared to do. So here's some really great questions to, to, to ask yourself. Number one is, what are you waiting for someone else to approve? In your life right now, think about that for a second. Is it the book? Is it the podcast? Is it to become a speaker, a coach, or whatever? What are you waiting for? I know a lot of people who get fearful of getting into the coaching space. I've certified a lot of my own coaches over the years and, and helped a lot of people get into coaching, consulting, speaking, and what I find in most cases is people are waiting for the right moment, or they're waiting to, let's just say, have success in something else before they feel like they're qualified to be able to do it, and the truth is, it doesn't work that way. It's like you have to trust in your ability to be able to help s- get someone from where they are to where they wanna be. That's ultimately what it comes down to. So the next question is, who are you hoping finally sees your potential? Are you waiting on a parent? Are you waiting on a mentor to see your potential? Are you waiting on a business partner or your spouse to see your potential? Who are you hoping finally sees your potential? It's a big one Next is what would you do if you already believed you were chosen? How powerful is that? I know throughout the course of my life, I'm not sure how many of you can relate to this, right? But have you ever had moments in your life where you just felt like you were chosen, chosen for your path? Drop a one if you can relate to that. I know I've had, I mean, tons of moments, and it's like when you have a history with God, you have a history with your creator, right? There are those moments where you realize, like you're not being picked on, you simply have been picked. You are chosen for your path, right? You were destined to do the very thing that, that you're doing, right? If you can relate to that, drop a one in the comments. And I, I don't know, I, I, I have been blessed enough to feel or to, to, to have so much conviction on what it is that I'm doing, and I, I feel like you get to that point of feeling like you were chosen for your path when you just kinda connect the dots. You look back on your life and you realize, like, "Wow, like I, I went through all of those things to finally get me to this point." And you start to realize that it was a lot of divine intervention. All of those things are what ultimately led to where you are today Okay? The next, uh, aspect of this is the fear of being seen. The fear of being seen. Sometimes it's not the, the fear of failure, sometimes it is the fear of success. Sometimes it is people just fearful of what that looks like for them, putting themselves out there. And I, I know this was very uncomfortable for me, uh, for a while too, and I think it's something you kinda grow a muscle for. Like, you get used to it after a while. I don't know if speaking comes natural to most people, for example. It's kinda one of those things you have to just get out there and do it, and over time you start to get a little bit more comfortable with being seen. I remember when I first started doing public speaking, it's, it's funny because I, I get compliments all the time on my, my confidence as a speaker and just how natural it is for me, and it did not start like that. I remember when I went to college, that was the very first time I started speaking in front of other people, and I was scared shitless. When I tell you I was so fearful. I remember I, I did a, a presentation in front of the c- the, the, the classroom in college, and I literally was so nervous that I sat on a desk that was in the front row, and I faced the screen the entire time so I didn't have to look at the audience. And the entire time I'm presenting I'm shaking my leg back and forth underneath the table. Like, like, the audience couldn't see it, but I was just so terrified of delivering this presentation that I didn't even bother to look at the audience. Like, one of my boys at the end, he was like, "Bro, you didn't even look at us," right? Like, "You didn't even face us." Uh, that's how nervous I was. Like, my very first keynote- I share this story from time to time, and maybe, uh, some of you get some hope and encouragement from this story. But my very first keynote was to a sports team, and I, I literally... And it w- it was actually my, my high school that I played football f- for. I got invited years after playing for them to come back and deliver a speech to, like, the next generation of football players. So, um, I, I remember I was so terrified that I literally, um, I, I... Well, first and foremost, I dressed up in, like, a full-blown out, like, prom-looking tuxedo. I can't believe, even to this day, I can't believe I did that. I would never speak to a group of, like, high school athletes in some, you know, Three Piece looking suit. Secondly, I was so nervous that I literally drank a bottle of wine before going to speak because I was just so nervous and needed to calm myself down. Thirdly, I hired my friend for the day to be my chauffeur and drive me so that I could drink on the way to the speaking engagement. That's how nervous I was delivering my very first keynote. So I promise you, I can reassure you that there is hope for you. Do not worry about it. Uh, you will eventually get to the other side. Okay? Now- When it comes to the fear of being seen, sometimes you are not afraid of failing, you are afraid of being visible while trying. Let's call it for what it is. You don't wanna make a damn fool out of yourself. That's really what it comes down to. And I would say your willingness to make a fool out of yourself is one of the best things that you could possibly do. For those of you who have followed my journey, you know that one of the ways that I put myself through college, I didn't, I didn't have any help from parents, from anybody whatsoever. Um, I mean, I had half of my education covered, thankfully. I was one of those kids that excelled academically but was so, like, broke and, and came from a family that didn't have any money that the government, like, helped fund half of my education, uh, through the programs that they had at the time. And, uh, you know, I got recruited to play football. Uh, so half of my education was, was covered. The other half I had to come up with myself, and I went to a university, so it was, it was expensive, uh, at the time for me. And one of the ways that I put myself through college was learning how to cut hair and, and barber. And when I tell you, I had jacked so many haircuts up. In fact, the way my wife and I met was my best friend, sh- my, my wife had a short haircut at the time, and she needed to, like, clean up her, her hairline, and my friend had referred her to me. And I had literally gave her, like, a shape up. For those of you, you know, who are not familiar with shape ups, you just kinda trim, you know, the outer line of the haircut. And I literally pushed my wife's hairline back and did not even know until, like, years later she had told me, um, that she looked in the mirror and she, you know, she didn't wanna discourage me, but she had pretended as if she liked it, and she really didn't. And the reason why I share that story is because she wasn't the first and only one. Like, I had jacked up a lot of haircuts in those early years. But I had to go through that process. I didn't have formal education on barbering. I, like, literally just was like, "Yeah, let me practice on my friends, on my teammates, and, you know, my nephews and things like that." And until I, I developed my skills. I even went into my very first barbershop and lied to them. I was in the Bronx- And my very first barbershop and I'm almost embarrassed to say this, but, um, I mean, it is what it is. I mean, screw it. It, it's been years and years, but I remember my very first barbershop, I needed to make some money and during the summertime, and I went to a barbershop, and this was like a well-known bar- like Usher, the, the singer Usher would go to this barbershop. Like, that's how popular this barbershop was. There was a music studio in the barbershop, and this was in Throgs Neck in the Bronx. So like you had these bougie, like, dudes that would... Like, their haircut was everything to them. So anyway, why do I mention that? Because in this barbershop, I, I told them that I worked at a barbershop in Brooklyn, and because it was a different borough, I knew they weren't gonna phone up the barbershop like, "Hey, did he actually work here?" And man, when I tell you, I jacked up so many haircuts. It was to the point where I would have anxiety in class. Like, while I was going to college, I would have anxiety about the haircuts that I jacked up. And I'd have people coming back, like parents just furious. And, uh, it got to the point where it was so bad that my, my, the, the owner of the shop, God bless his soul, uh, he, he was like, "Look, brother, we love you here. You know, you're great, um, but you, you, you c- I can't have you here just messing up hair. It doesn't look good on the barbershop. Like, we need you to get a little bit more experience and then come back," right? And I never went back. I ended up going to another barbershop, uh, you know, a while ba- uh, afterwards, but this was after I just trial and error, trial and error, trial and error. And, uh, why do I even mention that, right? Because I was willing to make a damn fool out of myself. I was willing to fail. I was willing to suck and to be ridiculed. And that wasn't only with barbering, that was with a lot of things. Putting myself out there and wearing my heart on my sleeve, and that's, that's the big thing, is you have to be willing to make a fool out of yourself. A lot of people are freaked out by that, and that's one of the, the, the, the best things that you could possibly do, okay? Um, I, I remember, sometimes I share this story in entrepreneurship. I, I remember I w- I, I was starting out in my entrepreneurial journey and I was, you know, in the travel business and I remember there was some, uh, business partners I, I had just brought on some business partners and, uh, these were guys that I went to college with So I was out in Long Island and I didn't really-- I wasn't the most coachable in a sense. I would just try all different ways to get new business. So one of my, one of my new business partners, which was one of my teammates from back in the day in college, you know, they wanted to do it in a lounge. They wanted to do a presentation in a lounge because they figured, hey, people are already there. They're, you know, chilling, smoking their little hookah. And, uh, I, I go to do a presentation in a lounge, and literally, I remember as I was doing the presentation, nobody was listening. And I just felt like the ultimate salesperson. And, and it was almost em- it was even embarrassing for my f- my, my teammates who came, like, and they were hoping that I'd be able to, like, land them some new business by doing this presentation at the lounge. And knowing what I know today, there's no way in hell I would've just presented to just random people at a lounge. And, uh, anyway, long story short, my, my, my teammates, like, they were literally acting like they were th- they weren't even there with me. It, it was that bad. And I was so embarrassed to the point where I-- like, I probably finished a presentation in less than 10 minutes. Like, I just flew through it. And I remember at the end just packing up, like, my projector and everything, and this one brother comes up to me and he was like, "Man, I don't really know what you were talking about up there." He's like, "But one thing I do know," he's like, "I know you're gonna be crazy successful." And that was the biggest takeaway for me in that moment, because I was willing to make a damn fool out of myself, and I think that he recognized that. Just the fact that I was willing-- I was so bold to be willing to be embarrassed in that moment, right? Willing to put myself out there. And that, that's literally like, I, I, I remember in that moment it-- that was reassuring for me in that moment because I was like, "Yeah, you know what?" It, you, you gotta pay the cost to be the boss. You, you have to eat your humble pie on the journey and I had, I had studied a lot of successful people on the come up and, and I realized, like, a lot of them had to go through what it was that I was going through. So, uh, again, I mention all of this because there are gonna be so many moments in your life where you have to put yourself out there. You have to risk being embarrassed and making a fool out of yourself, but this is a part of the process. Okay? So there's the fear of judgment, there's the fear of people from your past watching you grow. I've seen this happen with a lot of people. They're, they're like, "Man, what is, what are, what are my friends gonna think?" You know, "What are my family gonna think?" They're gonna... Or, like, I, I, I've had people that I've coached that- They, they justified in their mind that, you know, they, they didn't wanna grow too fast or too much because they felt bad for, you know, their loved ones and, and what their loved ones were gonna think, right? Like, "Oh, they're too bougie now," right? Like, isn't that, like, just crazy to think? And, uh, some people have the fear of looking like a beginner, fear of being misunderstood, or fear of outgrowing the identity people know you by. That's a big one, right? Sometimes you've had this identity that you've clung to for so long that you're fearful of outgrowing that identity. But remember, you cannot build a public purpose while hiding from public opinion. Very, very important to understand, okay? So being seen is part of leadership. You will not be everyone's cup of coffee. Let's call it for what it is. Some people will criticize what they do not have the courage to attempt. That's a big one. Visibility is not vanity when it is connected to service. Powerful takeaway. Again, visibility is not vanity when it is connected to service. Sometimes I, I, I see that happen a lot too. That's always, like, a, a strange one. You know, people are like, you know, they're fearful of their family just perceiving them as, "Oh, they're too good now," or, "They're too bougie," right? Like, listen, if you're around people that feel like you're getting too bougie or you think you're better, like, that's not your tribe. Like, have love those people at a distance, have limited association to those family and friends because that is just not it. You do not wanna be around people that feel uncomfortable by you growing. If anything, they should be rooting you on because a rising tide raises all ships. I love when my friends accomplish great things. I love when they're succeeding in their respective fields. It's not competing with your friends. Like, that's just weird, right? You should be rooting for your friends and wanting them to become successful because you understand that, you know what? Success rubs off on people, and if you're around someone who's winning, chances are it's gonna have an effect on you as well in a positive way. Now, questions to ask yourself. Where are you hiding? Where are you hiding? Think about in your life right now. What areas are you hiding? Also, what would you post, launch, or say if you were not afraid of being judged? There are a lot of people that, especially when it comes to content creation, they're afraid of sharing, for example, motivational videos because they're, they're just so worried about what this one person will think. It's like they're a prisoner to that one opinion. But think about all the people that can be blessed, that can be touched in a positive way by your message, by your knowledge, by your wisdom. Another question is, are you protecting your peace or are you protecting your fear? It's a good one. Are you protecting your peace or are you protecting your fear? It's a valuable, valuable takeaway. Next, we have owning your authority. Owning your authority. Remember, you do not need to pretend to be more than you are, but you do not- but you do need to stop shrinking from what you know. So you do not need to pretend to be more than you are, but you do need to stop shrinking from what you know. So think about this. Your lived experience has value. Your lived experience has value. I, I constantly have to reassure people, especially people that I'm working with from a coaching capacity, I always have to reassure them, like, think about all of the life lessons that you've learned along the way, all of the things. Sometimes it's not even like the things that you've done that have gone right. Sometimes it is the fact that you've messed up your life and you've learned a thousand ways to not do something. Th-th-a thousand ways to not go about life. Sometimes it's that, right? And think about this. Your story can help somebody. Sometimes even if you were born with a silver spoon in your mouth, like you may have grown up in the burbs and silver spoon, just a very coddled existence, and you grew up in a two-parent household, and you had the house in behind the white picket fence, guess what? There's an audience for you. There are millions of people out there that can relate to that. You know, I'm a brother. I grew up in the hood. Like, I grew up around a lot of violence, and not everybody can relate to that. And I, I've found my tribe over the years. I've found people who just genuinely connected with my story, but not a lot of people can relate to that story. So it's okay if you grew up entitled. It's okay if you've messed up your life. It's okay if you've gone through divorce. It's okay if you've put on a bunch of weight and then you lost the weight and then you put it back on. A lot of people can relate to all kinds of stories. So understand that there is an audience for you. Your story can genuinely help someone. Also, your lessons are not just for you They're not just for you. You can use those lessons to really have an impact on someone's life, okay? So don't, don't feel like you have to have everybody's story. I remember I had entered this, this competition with the greatest speakers in America, and it was like America's Got Talent, but for the best motivational speakers in, in the country. And every single story like was a traumatizing story. Everybody was like, "Who can outdo someone with their suffering," right? It was all around that. And the truth is, not everybody has that, right? Like, but you have valuable lessons. Maybe you know what? You grew up with a silver spoon in your mouth, and your story simply is you had all these expectations on how you should live your life, and you came to the conclusion that, "You know what? I don't wanna live my life based on what everybody else wants me to do." Maybe that's your story, right? When you- if you, if you even study like the Buddha, for example. The Buddha came from royalty. Many people don't know that. He came from royalty, and he f- he had actually went out of his palace that he was living in and discovered poverty for the very first time. His family tried to shelter him from all of the suffering in the world, and that's what led to him becoming the Buddha. It's, it's a interesting story of how that panned out, but he came from royalty. Okay, another thing is you do not need to be the world's top expert to serve the person who is one step behind you. I remember when I was on the come up with my speaking career, I would oftentimes hear the saying that you are most powerfully positioned to serve the person you once were. You are most powerfully positioned to serve the person you once were. Think about who you were five years ago. You can reach people who fall into that category. Maybe five years ago you were struggling with addiction. Maybe five years ago you were obese. Maybe five years ago you were going through a divorce, or you went bankrupt. Like, I, I honestly, I don't... I, I stopped fearing screwing my life up because at the end of the day, the, the fact that, like, when... if I screw my life up, so many more people can relate to that. I had... I, it, it's interesting w- with my specific journey, right? So my, my, my trajectory was this: I grew up in the hood, very humble beginnings, right? Didn't grow up with my biological father. Grew up sleeping head to toe with my siblings. Like, very humble beginnings. Growing up on welfare, all of that stuff. Seeing it all, gang violence, all of that, drug abuse, you know, seeing, uh, you know, overdoses, all of these different things, growing up in a, in a AIDS epidemic, all of these crazy things. And then I go off to college, right? I left the hood, go off to college, change my life, and it almost as-- it was like I went through all the really difficult stuff that, that people could re- a lot of people could relate to, but then I went through this season of just winning and succeeding and, and thriving in everything that I did. And then it got to a point where I didn't really feel that relatable to a lot of people. And, and then I-- and then things came back full circle where, yeah, I was going through a lot of challenges. I was going through a lot of obstacles. It didn't look pretty. I was going through financial challenges. And then for the first time again in my adult life, I became relatable again, and it was almost like a badge of honor. Like, yeah, it sucked going through all of these different challenges, especially in entrepreneurship, and it was a sense of, of pride in a sense because I also understood that I've never met someone who's had a long entrepreneurial career that didn't go through hardship. And it was almost like, "Wow, it finally came." I had all of this success. I... Like, I built a multimillion-dollar line of business in my 20s. I had retired from my six-figure job at 24 years young, had, you know, had all these children, got married, was traveling around the world leading tons of people, and it was just like not that many people could relate to that. And I-- it, it, it truly was Uh, a badge of honor to be able to say like, "You know what? I know what it's like to go through bankruptcies in business. I know what it's like to have to rebuild again. I know what it's like to have to, you know, rely on family and friends. I know, I know what it's like to be crying my eyes out," because it's just that, that tough, right? In terms of the valley that I was going through. And it made me more relatable. It made me more empathetic. It made me more human So be okay with things not looking so pretty because I can assure you there are people out there that will be able to relate to that. So for me, it was like that struggle was the greatest thing that could have ever happened to me. It was the greatest gift that life could have offered me because it allowed me to connect to more people. It allowed me to have, have more power as a speaker because relatability is power. Empathy is power. When people genuinely can connect with your story, with your struggles. And let's be honest, most people are going through a lot of life. Life is life and for most people. So why do you want it all perfect? Especially for those of you who aspire to impact thousands of lives, right? Like my mentor-- Like one of my mentors literally w- w- was, was showering in a, in a church parking lot, like from a gutter that w- with rainwater. Like that was his story. Like l- sleeping out of his car. Like I don't know too many people that have had to go through that in entrepreneurship. You understand? Like I've, I've heard stories of some of my mentors literally going fishing for their food to feed like the, the-- what they were gonna feed their family for the night was what they caught. Like they went fishing. Most people go out fishing for sport. Like it's, it's very rare in the twenty-first century to hear about people who genuinely like they're going fishing so that they can feed their family for dinner that night. Like we're not in the hunter-gatherer age. You don't really see that very often. It's like, yeah, go to, go to Walmart, spend ten dollars on some fish, right? You're not going out there intentionally trying to get some fish, right? Like I've, I've heard time and time again so many crazy stories from, from my mentors, and it's v- it's reassuring, right, to know that people who have become massively successful have gone through that. You hear stories like Dwayne The Rock Johnson. The Rock had seven dollars to his name at his lowest point when, when he was on the come up, right? And there are tons and tons of, of stories like this where people were just down and out, and they found a way. They persevered through. Okay? So your lived experience has value. Your story can help somebody. Your lessons are not just for you, and you do not need to be the world's top expert to serve the person who is one step behind you. And lastly, authority grows when you consistently show up with truth, value, and integrity. Again, authenticity is the highest expression of self-love. You, you have to be authentic. That's what people connect with, just authenticity, being real. I, I just threw out this idea. Like, I, I had this idea. It's, it's so sh- crazy. I, I, I felt like I had to, like, validate myself so much on the come up to the point where it's almost like I had to be Mr. Perfect for a long time, and it was so liberating to throw away being Mr. Perfect, throw away being the winner all the time, like the person who was always succeeding. Like, it is so liberating to just be okay with not being okay. To be finally at a place in your life where it's like, "Yeah, I don't really got all my shit together. Like, I don't got all my ducks in a row, but it's all good. Like, I'm okay here. I'm, I'm perfectly imperfect." And, and to get to that place, I'm telling you, it's one of the best things that you can do, not only for yourself but for the people that you ultimately lead. So the key takeaway is you do not, you do not own your authority by acting superior. You own it by accepting responsibility for the value you carry. So good. I'll say that one more time for the students in the back. You do not own your authority by acting superior. You own it by accepting responsibility for the value you carry. It's like the old cliche saying, "To whom much is given, much is required." With great power comes great responsibility, as it's stated in the movie Spider-Man. It's, it's, it's so true, right? You, you have to be mindful of what God has blessed you with, the dream that you steward. You are a steward of, of all of the gifts, talents, and passions that God bestowed upon you, okay? So if you have survived something, you can speak to someone still in it. If you have built something, you can help someone starting. If you have learned a lesson the hard way, you can save someone time. If you have a gift, hiding it is not humility Do, do not dim your light because you don't want others around you to feel inferior or to feel insecure. Do not dim your light. Shine your light as scripture states on top of the hill for the world to see. Show people that you are a child of God, and look at what's possible through your life. There's th- you don't serve the world by dimming your light. I can reassure you that. Yeah, there will be some people that may feel a little insecure. There'll be some people that probably think you're a little bougie, probably think that, oh, you think that you're, you're too good. It is what it is. Let them, let them dwell in their cesspool of mediocrity. It's okay. Right? But there are tons of people. You will impact far more people than the haters, than the people who are just sitting there criticizing everybody else. Okay? So that's a big, big part to understand. And some really powerful questions you can ask yourself is what do people natur- uh, what do people naturally come to you for? Think about that. Is it advice on marriage, on parenting, on weight loss, on business, on financial budgeting? What do people naturally come to you for? Maybe it's just venting. Maybe people just come to you to share all their problems. That's how I got into life coaching. There are just a lot of people come to me, coming to me, and I, I realized one day that I, yeah, I'm, I'm kind of good at listening to people and giving some decent advice, and I made a career out of it. So what do people naturally come to you for? Another question to ask is, what have you overcome that could become someone else's roadmap? That's a really, really good one. So I love talking to young brothers from the hood because that's the world that I come from. So it, it is very rewarding for me to go and speak to at-risk youth. Um, it's one of my favorite aspects of, of like one of my favorite, uh, groups of people to, to speak to is, is the youth. Like, get them before they go through, you know, the, the prison system or, or drug addiction and things like that. And to be able to reach them because I've gone through that. It's also powerful for me to reach people who are just starting out as parents, or maybe they want to be parents. Maybe they're just starting out with their relationship, right? And being able to help them. But I love, love, love also helping people who are just starting out in business because I know how difficult it can be. I know how daunting it can be, uh, just going through business, how lonely it can be at times. And, and that's why I do the Breakfast Club and I do coaching, consulting, and speaking because it, it, it is rewarding being able to help people on their hero's journey. Uh, and the last question is: where are you downplaying your wisdom? Where are you downplaying your wisdom? Maybe you feel like, "You know what? I'm, I'm, I'm sharp, but I'm not like that. I'm not, I'm not a, I'm not a Tony Robbins, or I'm not a Oprah Winfrey," or something like that. And listen, you don't have to be all that. Sometimes, like I realize, like, and, and you know, Tony Robbins has been a, a great mentor of mine. I've learned so much fr- uh, from him over the years, but one thing I realize is there's a lot of brothers that don't relate to him, a lot of, lot of people in the world that just don't relate to him. They relate to me, and like, you will find your audience, and there's tons of people who do not relate to me. Some of you are like, "Yeah, Josh, you know, he does that Breakfast Club stuff. Like, that ain't my thing." Listen, there are a lot of people that w- they wouldn't necessarily resonate with me, and they'll resonate with you, okay? So you don't have to be all polished. You don't have to sound like a scholar. You don't have to just have it all together. There are tons of people that will genuinely relate to you as you are, okay? So moving forward, we have taking action before you feel ready. Okay, you are not supposed to feel ready for the next level. The next level is what develops you. So again, it goes back to that cliche saying, "You don't have to be great to start, but you have to start to be great." Okay, so a lot of people fall into waiting for perfect timing, waiting for more confidence, waiting for more money, and that's a big one, waiting for more money. I remember, uh, that, that was something that was holding me back with when, when I... Before I got into the podcasting space, I was just like, "Man, I, I ne- I m- I need to wait till y- you know, I, I, I have a certain amount of money coming in." And sometimes that strips you of your resourcefulness. Sometimes that strips you of your creativity. It's so much more powerful to ask yourself, "How can I afford it? How can I figure it out?" You may not have the money that you need, but isn't it true that you could probably find a solution to it if you really dug deep enough? And that's what it looked like for me. I had raised capital for, for my company. I was waiting so damn long, and I was just like, "Man, I need to pull the trigger on this because I'm gonna be waiting possibly for a long time." What if you're waiting for the money, and what if it takes another 10 years? Do you have the luxury of waiting another 10 years? Think about that. So that's why it's so important to just figure out how you can do it now. Ask yourself the powerful questions that are gonna lead to you finding that solution. Some people are waiting for the perfect logo, website, right? The, the perfect camera. I, I hear that all the time. A certification or plan. Especially with certification is always a funny one because people feel like, "Oh, well I need this certification or that certification for like, to become a coach." No, you don't. I've never had anyone ever like, "Hey, which certification do you hold?" And I have certifications, but it never comes up in conversation because people are not signing up for your coaching program because you- you're cert- Like that don- That doesn't mean squat. Anybody can read something in a book. Anybody can answer some multiple choice questions or whatever. Like it's, it's not about that, okay? Um, so don't get wrapped up in this idea where you need the right certification or, or whatever. Like even me with a college degree, I've never had to use my college degree. And like there's so many people going for all of the degrees, like more degrees than a thermometer, and it doesn't mean anything. Like now are there certain career paths that you do need a degree? Yes. And I know it's so interesting that there are some jobs that literally are not even gonna l- do their due diligence with reaching out to the school. I had a friend of mine and I, I don't wanna share any, like I don't wanna share any advice, like give any wrong advice here. But I've had friends of mine, uh, well, one friend that comes to mind that literally worked his way up a bank and put on his resume that he attended this college, this, this prestigious college that he really didn't attend. I mean, he's probably on The Breakfast Club right now. Don't say that that was you, by the way. But, um, it worked for him. Like they did not do their due diligence with looking up like his background or anything like that, and he ended up being like a really top performer in that company. How crazy is that? And I know he doesn't mind me sharing this 'cause he, he actually shared it, uh, with a bunch, uh, a bunch of people on a, on a training call one time and I, I just thought that that was so mind-boggling. The fact that these companies, like you, you get so caught up all these years, you know, studying this degree and getting all these credentials and it's not even the most important part. It's like the greatest opportunities these days are not even from the piece of paper, it's from the, the, the relationships. It's from the, the connections that you have. Crazy to think that, okay? Sometimes it's just who you are as a person, your skillset, the way you carry yourself and conduct yourself. That's what it's about, okay? So moving forward- Remember, you are not supposed to feel ready for the next level. The next level is what develops you and, you know, when you're waiting for more money or waiting for, again, all of these other things and also just think about why action creates clarity Why does action create clarity? And I know for me it, it, it's always been good to just take the action, execute, and then you just kind of get the clarity as you go. Sometimes you realize that, you know what? I had the, the wrong plan altogether. Like, but you don't really see it until you're actually in it. Okay? So the simple idea is to move, learn, adjust, repeat Move, learn, adjust, repeat. That's the idea, okay? That is how confidence is built. So the first version will not be perfect. The first episode, offer, speech, posts or ev- or event may be a little rough around the edges if you, if you wanna call it out for what it is. Like, our first event was definitely a lot more scrappy than our last event, and, like, this, this has been the case for everything that I've done. It, like, if-- I... My first breakfast clubs, like, they were, they were so rough around the edges. Like, I don't even post them. I, I don't-- I, I would never post my, the first, like, two years of me doing the breakfast club online. I don't even post it up because I was looking so-- Like, I think I probably even did some in, like, tank top shirts, like, like, n- like, looking really scruffy. I was way more hippie back in the day. I didn't look polished or anything like that. But you know what? People gravitated towards the value. The value was the value. You understand? And the main takeaway is, again, it just didn't have to be perfect, right? Rough action beats perfect procrastination all day, every day. Procrastination, the assassination of your dreams. You, you have to be mindful of when you're becoming a procrastinator, as my mentor would oftentimes say. Another thing is you cannot improve what you never release. You cannot improve what you never release. These days, I love listening to past episodes of the Journey podcast because it's a great opportunity for me to see what I need to develop. Some of you will probably listen, and you're like, "Wow, how can he be there for..." You know, like, b- uh, y- you know, I would say a little over a year ago, uh, for, for the first several years of my breakfast club sessions, I was averaging two hours every single brea-- It, it was actually standard for me to go two hours and finish exactly at 9:00 AM Eastern Standard Time after starting at 7:00 AM. And I don't, I don't, you know, do that anymore. For me, it's more so about the value, and once it's done, it's done. But the biggest thing is, you know, I, I was just there and, and putting out the value, uh, more than anything and As I released the content, I was able to improve over time, being able to listen and just realize, okay, that made me cringe, or maybe I used a little bit too many ums, too many uhs. Even today, as I'm speaking to you guys, I can hear myself saying "like" a lot. And I, I know when I listen to it, I'm like, "All right. I need to set my intention for the next one to make sure that I'm not saying it as much." So it doesn't have to be perfect. That's the biggest takeaway that I want you guys to walk away with, and the biggest thing is you also have to release the, the, the value and then just tweak it as you go. So the big questions to ask is what are you overpreparing for? What are you overpreparing for? Another thing is what is one thing you could launch imperfectly? One thing you could launch imperfectly. I've helped a lot of people, uh, get into the podcasting space as well, and I always tell them, like, "Look, do not wait for the fancy camera, the, the videographer. Like, just get yourself... If you gotta do it from a phone, do it from a phone and just put it out there." It's so much better to just get the ball rolling. And the last question is, what next step would create momentum? What next step would create momentum? No matter what it is that you're looking to do. Now, as we get ready to bring it in for a landing, the last point was permissionless leadership. Permissionless leadership. That was actually, uh, this was the first time I came across this term, and the main idea is permissionless leadership means you stop waiting to be chosen and start choosing responsibility. Just take responsibility. That's really what leadership comes down to, right? Leading your ship. And remember, leaders go first, leaders create movement, leaders take ownership, leaders serve before they are celebrated, and leaders do not need a room full of applause to take the next right step. And the key takeaway is permissionless leadership is not arrogance, it is ownership. Okay? So definitely get out there and exercise this idea of permissionless leadership. Do not wait for someone to assign you your, your role. Now, I'm not telling you to just act like you're the CEO of your job that you've been working at, you know? Uh, but take, take responsibility, take ownership, and oftentimes when you step into that, a l- a lot of people will start to notice. Like, you, you will have people take notice, and if you're a, a really good leader, there will be opportunities to progress and elevate yourself or possibly get a promotion. Okay? So remember, you can start the group, you can host the event, you can build the brand, you can write the book, you can speak the message, you can create the opportunity, and you can become the example. Okay? So permissionless does not mean reckless, so that we're being, you know, just clear here. It's not about being reckless. It means that you move with integrity, that you prepare as you go, you stay teachable, you take responsibility, and you do not wait for perfect conditions. Okay, so some really great questions to ask yourself is, where are you waiting to be chosen? What responsibility are you avoiding and what would leadership look like in your life this week? It may be leading your family, it may be leading your church, it may be leading your nonprofit, your community, at your job, your department, whatever it is Okay? And I can tell you time and time again, for me, permissionless leadership, it, it looked like, for example, I, I, I'm, I'm one of those people that you can put me in any environment, and for whatever reason, I'm just wired to naturally fall into a leadership role. Like, I, I don't know what it is. I, I've always been like... I, I don't know if how many of you have ha- can relate to this, like you've done the group assignments, and you always kinda have to be the leader of the group. Maybe it's a form of OCD or you have to control everything, but I just naturally fall into those roles where I have to be the one just kinda setting the tone and leading. And I... You know what I think it really is? Have any of you been in this situation where you trusted in someone else's leadership, and you're so annoyed that you agreed to have them as the leader? Like, I can't stand being in that situation where I'm just like, you... And then it looks bad on you because you're a part of the group. Some of y'all know exactly what I'm talking about. Maybe you were that, that leader, uh, that messed things up or, or... But I've, I've had those moments where I've allowed other people to lead, and I didn't like their leadership, and I'm just like, "Nah, this ain't it." Like, and I gotta take responsibility for their screw-up? Yeah. And I just have learned to get to a place where, say, "You know what? If I don't like dealing with that, I'm gonna take the responsibility." And that, that's happened, you know, in college. That's happened just with leadership in general. If sometimes you're, you're a part of an organization and the leaders aren't really rising, and you have to be the one to make that decision where if it is to be, it is up to me. And, uh, that's important. Even with your family, how are you going to just take responsibility? That, that's the biggest thing, owning the responsibility. Oftentimes you don't need someone to validate or to confirm or to reassure you that you're the leader. Just take responsibility. Take ownership in whatever it is. And my recommendation is if, if you've never had leadership roles, just volunteer to be a leader. Get, get as much opportunity to lead as possible. And this is one of the best things that you can do because leadership starts to become like a muscle. The more you lead, the better you get at it, right? So, uh, for, for me, once again, you know, when it, when it has come to anything, anything that I'm doing, like I, I always am the, you know, I'm gonna grab the bull by the horns. I'm gonna get behind the helm and, and take over because at the end of the day, at least if we screw up, I know it's because of me. Like there's nothing worse than having to take responsibility for somebody else's screw-up, okay? So, uh, be the person to take that responsibility, even as a, as a father, as a husband, as a community leader. Uh, either, you know, you have to get out there. So, uh, men, please, I mean, by all means, right? Remember this, women do not wanna be ruled, women do want to be led, right? And, and, and ladies, I mean, you can disagree with this if you want. You're more than welcome to comment, but let me know if you agree with that statement as well. Like y'all ain't... You're not, you're not trying to be ruled by somebody, but you are okay with being led as long as they are a competent leader, as long as they are re- a responsible leader and a good leader, right? Nothing wrong with being led. I mean, I would hope, I would hope that you would want someone that is willing to take a leadership role in the household because think about it. God forbid anything ever happened to you, who are you gonna rely on? If you're the one that always has to lead, it's, it's not gonna be a good situation if you have to rely on someone else to take the responsibilities. So yeah, for the, for the men who are on, and the women, like take responsibility and put yourself in position to lead as much as possible. Okay, so as we close out, some of the biggest takeaways, stop waiting to be discovered. Start being undeniable I, I love the saying that you have to be so good that they can't ignore you. Like, when was the last time you thought about going about your life in that way, where you're so good they... I, I... Like, they can't ignore you. I love the idea of that. It's, it's almost as if you, you, you focus on your craft so much where it's undeniable. Like, you know that people are gonna have great things to say the moment they experience your value. And, and what if you focused on your craft in that way, where it's like, "You know what? I'm not trying to compete with everybody else. I want to be the very best." The very best. Today, like for example, if someone brings me out to speak, I've worked on my speaking so mu- when I talk about working on my speaking, I'm talking about, like, the 10,000 hours, like dozens of times over. Just from Toastmasters International, thousands of presentations, tens of thousands of people, speaking in front of tens of thousands of people in person, and millions of people online. And then even with The Breakfast Club, every single week for years just doing this. And, and that's why there's so much th- there's so much assurance that when I go and deliver the value, it is going to be delivered, right? And it's because of how much time has gone into the craft. Studying, reading from the best, learning from the best, going to the seminars, investing in myself. Like, go about your craft in that way, where it's undeniable. That's how good you are as a leader or whatever it is that you want to embark on. I was looking at videos yesterday, last night actually, of LeBron James. He's in the off-season getting ready for the next season. Your boy is out there in his 40s getting it done, and I, I respect that. I love people who really treat their craft with a great deal of reverence and, and respect. Okay? Another thing is nobody can give you authority over a life you refuse to take ownership of. Big, big takeaway, right? Another, your calling does not need everybody's cosign. That is between you and your creator. Uh, you don't need nobody cosigning your calling. That's what your creator is there for, okay? And remember, the next version of you is not waiting for applause. He or she is waiting for action. Do not be the person waiting for the applause, waiting to be validated, and that's the biggest takeaway here. So ask yourself, what have I been waiting to start? Who am I secretly hoping gives me permission? What am I afraid people will say? What would I do if I trusted myself more? Where am I confusing fear with wisdom? What is one move I can make this week that proves I am done waiting? Really, really great takeaway, and here's my permission-less action plan for you all as we wrap up here. Step one is to name the door. Whatever door of opportunity you are looking for, what opportunity, dream, or decision have you been waiting on, right? So an example could be starting the business, launching the podcast, posting the content, writing the book, applying for the role, having the conversation, hosting the event, making the offer, whatever it is, right? But name the door. The second step is identify the fake requirement. So you may feel like you need to launch that website to, uh, get into that, or you may have to have the business success before you start speaking. Like, what is that fake requirement that you've convinced or sold yourself on, right? What do you think you need before starting? That's really what it is. So you may feel it's internally, like more confidence. Maybe you feel like you need more followers, more money, more approval, a better camera, right? The perfect website certification, someone to invite you. What do you feel like you need? The next thing is make the first move. Make the first move. Not next week, not next month, we're talking today. Choose one action within the next 24 hours that you can take. So it could be recording the video, sending the message, creating the outline, book the room, whatever it is. Ask for the sale, reach out to that potential client, whatever it is, but make the first move. Something you can do today. Write it down really quick. For those of you who are on with me right now, write down something that you can do today, and just pull the trigger on that. Step four is repeat until you identify-- or until your identity catches up. So repeat until identity catches up. Your identity changes through evidence. It's a big one. Your identity changes through evidence. Every brave action tells your nervous system, "I am the kind of person who moves." You guys hear me say it all the time. I kinda joke about it, you know, being a certified trigger puller. There was a point in time in my life where I said, "You know what? If I'm gonna be known for anything, it's gonna be execution." I'm not gonna be twiddling my thumbs. I'm not gonna be there shaking-- You know, in the movie scenes, you see the guy shaking wi- wi- with, with a gun in his hand, like afraid to pull the trigger because he doesn't have the balls to get it done. And for me, I said, "You know what? I am going to be a certified trigger. Whatever it is that I wanna do, I am just gonna go and charge forward." Be that kind of person. Fortune favors the bold So as we close out this week, remember, stop waiting for m- per- for permission in one area of your life. Do one thing that your future self would respect. Think about that. You in 10 years, wh- what would you in 10 years... Imagine something you can do today where you in 10 years would be like, "Man, like they, they, they, they got it. They got some big cojones," right? Or ladies, whatever yo- you wanna call it, right? Ladies got some big cojones metaphorically speaking too, right? But like, do something today that your future self is like, "Wow, I give them major props. They, they are getting it done." Do one thing that your future self would respect, but not the perfect thing, not the biggest thing, and definitely not the thing that impresses everybody. Just the next brave thing. That's it. Nothing more, nothing less. So my closing words are, some of the doors you are waiting for someone to open were never locked in the first place. Maybe the real question is not whether the door is open. Maybe the real question is whether you are finally ready to turn the handle. Ladies and gentlemen, breakfast is served. God bless every last one of you. If you got value from today's Breakfast Club session, drop a V in the comments for value. I always appreciate those of you who like, comment, share, tag, subscribe, wherever you are tuning in, definitely appreciate it. And if you are able to leave a review on the podcast, leave it. I, my podcast is streamed all over from, uh, Spotify, iHeart, Apple Podcasts, everywhere, YouTube. You can find it everywhere. So, uh, definitely show love if you can. Appreciate every last one of you, and definitely share this with someone who can get value. Take care. God bless. Breakfast is served. I'll be seeing you guys next week.