Unshackled

Finding The Knight Within; Rising From Abuse To Power

• Chantelle Dodd • Season 2 • Episode 1

Share episode
SPEAKER_00:

Welcome to Uncheckled the Podcast. The space where healing meets truth, spirituality meets common sense, and transformation meets the part of you that's finally ready to rise. I'm Chantel Dodd, a coach survivor, and a guide for women breaking free from the grips of toxic cycles, domestic abuse, trauma, and that savage dating society that we have going on right now. This podcast is formed from lived experience, trauma-informed practice, thematic wisdom, and a deep belief that your body, mind and spirit already know the way home. Sometimes you just need someone to walk with you until the path feels safe again. And that is why Unshackled is here. Here we've done mindset work with nervous system healing, soul-led intuition with grounded strategy, and the comfort with the kind of blunt truth that wakes you up, not knocks you down. This isn't a space for spiritual bypassing. Sugarcoating or pretending healing is linear. It is the space where rural women reclaim their power. One breath, one boundary, one breakthrough at a time. Every episode is created to support your journey, to help you understand what happened, reconnect with yourself, rebuild the inner strength, and unlearn the stories that never belonged with you in the first place. So if you're ready to reconnect with the woman you were always meant to be, then please subscribe to this podcast. Let's become the brave one, the intuitive one, and the powerful one. Here you are in the right place. So settle in, breathe deep, and allow yourself to receive what you needed today. Because healing isn't just possible, it's your birthright. Welcome to Unshackled, and let's begin. Welcome to the very first episode of the Unshackled podcast, part of Let's Find You, a space dedicated to healing, empowerment, education, and breaking generational cycles for women who had lived through domestic abuse and men. So I'm your host, Chantel, and today I want to start at the beginning of my story and the birth of Unshackled and the why behind everything I do. So for a long time I lived in a space where I didn't recognise myself. I didn't actually even know who I was. I lived through domestic abuse and it didn't just happen once, it happened several times because I wasn't aware of the cycle that I was continuing and what my boundaries were and what I was tolerating. I didn't know any different. So I would jump from relationship to relationship where there would always be some form of domestic abuse in them. So, you know, when this happens and you're going through different relationships like that, it ends up just chipping away at who you are until one day you're like, I don't want to do this anymore. This isn't me, this doesn't make me happy, this isn't what I want. So from a very young age, I was abused, and that I think set the precedent for me on you know what was normality because you always there is always somewhere in your childhood that will set, you know, the pace, the tone, you know, how your life will mirror out until you realize that this isn't for you, it isn't the belief system that you want, this doesn't feel right, and it needs to change and you need to heal. So, yes, from a very young age I was abused sexually, and that is what I feel set precedent along my journey of doing all the therapy and healing that I have done. This is where the core wound was set in. And then from there, it's you know, where my primary caregivers, you know, were came into play and how they, you know, handled that situation. I was told, you know, when I finally admitted it as it chipped away at me as a child, when I did finally come out with it, you know, I was told by my one of my parents that this is something that just happens, it is what it is basically. And I think that from that point, telling a child so young, that's like a belief system that's instilled in within the the mind. So then you go through life thinking that that is normal and that is something that you have to tolerate because it just happens. So from there, I went into my teens, I met my first boyfriend who became my husband and father to my three children, and he really was the first learning for me. So I we met at a very young age, I was only 12 at the time, and you know, I was so in love, he was my everything. You know, I'd get in trouble with my parents for seeing him, they didn't want us to see each other, and there I was, you know, off doing my thing, seeing him. And I got to the age of 14, and my mother got really poorly really quickly. She was diagnosed with cancer and died quite quickly quickly. So this was within a two-month period that we lost her. I then fell pregnant and quite soon after that, and then miscarried. I then went on to have another pregnancy, and that's where my firstborn came into the world. So, you know, that pregnancy was something that I hid for seven months. I didn't tell anyone. It wasn't until I was working in my little part-time job as a 15-year-old in a sandwich shop in my local town. And it was there that my boss's wife, who was a nurse at the time, had recognized that I was pregnant. And from there is where it all came out, and I was able to tell my father, and he wasn't too happy at first, but then accepted it. We then had my firstborn, and from there the relationship turned quite differently. He became quite controlling, including with his family. I ended up not having contact with my family and moving in with him and being told that this is your life now, you're a parent, and this is where your focus needs to be. I wanted to go after college and study business, and you know, I had all these inspirations that I wanted to do, and that was like no. I had my my secondborn in that time as well, and life was really hard. Like, I was really young, I was only like 17, and I had two children under the age of two, and as you can imagine, any parent that was hard, really hard. I then went through this relationship. I started being able to, I got a little part-time job, which he was very unsupportive of. I ended up having to leave the job. So anything that he would try, whether I tried to go to college, I wanted to train as to be a midwife. You know, anything that I wanted to do would always get stopped. I have no contact with my family. He was really controlling, like financially, he would just spunk all the money. So there was no way of us, you know, progressing anywhere because he had all these addictions and gambling addictions. I then went on to have my third child within that marriage. And by the time I'd had my second, that's when we got married when I was 18, because I was legally able to do it. So we got married, had my third child. At this point, I'm still a baby. Do you know what I mean? I'm under, I'm 20 years old. I don't know any different. I don't have the right guidance in place. So I'm just very young, going with a lot on my shoulders, trying to navigate life as best I can with all these restrictions in place by him and his family. I got to a point where I was like, this isn't for me. I don't want to do this. So I started seeking how I can get out of this relationship. I tried several times, he wouldn't leave. You know, I wouldn't get a break from being mum, I would just be mum, and I would be tired, really, really tired. I then seeked a knight in shining armor. This was my thing. I'm going to find a knight in shining armor who is going to save me and get me out of this. So that's where I found my second husband. He was known to us, he was a he was a friend of the family, and I thought, yeah, he looks like a good person. He seems good, like he will be able to save me from this. And we then got together. I left my first husband, but it was like jumping out of one fire into another. So I literally went from one fire basically into boiling water, thinking that it was something safe, but it wasn't. He was also very similar, quite controlling, a lot of coercive control, physically abusive. He just wasn't good at all. I stayed with him because he put the fear of God in me, and I couldn't leave. I wanted to leave and I couldn't leave. We then went on to have my fourth child, and I married him. The marriage lasted less just I think about a year. It lasted just over a year. Not less than a year, just over a year. And I again seeked a knight in shining armour, uh met someone, and I thought that was my safety. And again, it wasn't. I went from the fire to boiling water to basically acid. This this person held full not full-on narcissist with sociopathic, a lot of sociopathic traits where that relationship was just it drained the life out of me. So I had already suffered with depression and anxiety, and I had that in the more so it kicked in in the second marriage where I just couldn't cope. And I think going back to that second marriage before moving on to the third relationship, within that second marriage, what I learned is where I this is where I embarked on spirituality and healing. And from there, what I learned was when you hold on to something that isn't good for you, you know, the universe is going to show you that it's not for you in different ways. I ended up going through bankruptcy. I ended up my mental health plummeting, you know. I ended up with, you know, not the greatest of health. As on top of that, physically, you know, I ended up homeless. Like financially was it was just ruined. I had problems within my career. Like it just wasn't a peaceful time, and it was the universe's way of showing you that this is not what's right for you. But if you keep holding on and not not leaving and finding that strength to leave, nothing is going to get better, it's just going to get worse because this is not for you. So, yeah, so I started doing the healing work from there, and that was what got me the strength to leave. So I went into a deep healing process where you know I was able to really start connecting the dots and then finding that empowerment, finding that strength within me to be able to leave. And I did leave, and then I met someone new at the same time. So, as much as I found the strength to leave, which was absolutely amazing, I also still had that belief inside of me of I'm going to find my knight in shining armor and he's going to come and save me. So I went into that relationship, and that relationship was awful. Again, my mental health plummeted, nothing was going right. He was a complete block to everything. And by this time, I was already had that awareness, but it was I ended up being trauma bonded quite quickly to him. And that was was a massive lesson to learn how to break that trauma bond and how you know powerful it is to be, you know, have a trauma bond in place, and really having to go really deep with the healing. So I had to go even layers upon layers deeper to be able to really break that trauma bond, you know, that cycle of meeting that same human being that just isn't good for you, and sitting in those relationships and understanding where that's coming from. You know, it came from different places, like insecurity, not wanting to be on my own, what I had been taught as a child, you know, what I had learned to tolerate, you know, it was a lot of ancestral healing as well that needed to come in. Like, very simple example to that is from my parents saying to me, This is something that just happens, that is an accepted thing with you know, ancestrally that we have done over and over again. But I'm not willing to do that. I'm willing, I don't want that. I want to break that, I don't want this cycle to continue. And that's what brought me to creating unsackled, to be able to create impact and help other people understand, you know, themselves. So to help them find who they are to start off with, find their power, understand the bigger picture, understand ancestrally what's gone on, to understand how we are in this day and age and our you know generation, and being able to make the change that this doesn't continue, and people just live happy, fulfilling lives and are not stuck in something that isn't good for them. So I then did all the healing work, as I said, and this is how I created Unshackled. So from my own journey and my own training and understanding how all of this works, I've created my own program to help as many people as I can to get them to a place where they're free and they are thriving, and things have changed, and they are creating the life that they want. They're not stuck in something that isn't good for them, and they can go on from there and find the right person for them that values them and loves them and cares for them. That's why I'm that is why I have created and shackled. So there are so many women and men right now who, you know, are in relationships where they're confused, they're hurting, they're second-guessing themselves, they feel alone in situations that they never asked for, and you know, they're just expected to just get over it, you know, you know, get or deal with it, or you know, just accept it, and that's not the way it should be. So I've created unshackled. So the healing journey that you embark on, it doesn't matter what stage you're at, you could still be in the relationship, you could have left the relationship, you could be, you know, either of those places, but the healing work needs to be done so you break that cycle. So one is either getting out of that relationship and finding that strength and breaking the cycle so you don't go on to meet someone else like I did, or you have left that relationship and you are now left with the lump of pain in your stomach, in any area of your body, and you're not, and you're every day you're trying to cope with that, and you're not able to cope with it, but you need something to support you and help you heal to be able to heal that so you're not feeling that way anymore, put changing you to get you into a new version of yourself and breaking those cycles so it doesn't continue. Because when you start doing this work, not only does it it work for you, it creates an impact for everybody else. So it's really important that we do do this work. So unshackled is created because healing is not a journey that should be done on your own. It's not a journey that should feel lonely. You should have support. So it was born from my own journey of survival and rebuilding. My belief that education is a form of power, my understanding that trauma-informed support changes lives, my commitment to helping people break generational patterns. This is the massive one for me. You know, once we start looking at selves, we're able to then look at the wider picture and understand what's going on. So where you're able to help yourself and you are able to heal yourself and you've you're educated, you're empowered, you have that knowledge behind you, you're then able to help others at the same time. So my passion is to give any domestic abuse survivor their voice back. And that is what Unshackled is there for. So it's not just a program, it's a movement, it's a community, it's a safe space, and it's a brilliant way forward. So Unshackled is a 12-week trauma-informed group. It's a coaching experience with myself. So it would support you or anyone who's experienced domestic abuse as they, you know, rebuild their lives, or they may even be in the relationship and need to rebuild themselves to be able to get out. The reason why I have explained my story is because there were different stages to it. So I needed help at different stages. So where I was very young and I was in the first relationship, I didn't know any better. I wasn't aware of healing, spirituality, I wasn't very, you know, aware of anything like this. So I was looking for that knight in shining armor. I then went into the second relationship, and that's where I embarked on this healing journey. And I became empowered because I had the knowledge, I was able to educate myself and start implementing that with the program that I had invested in. I then went into the third relationship with that knowing, but wasn't able to fully put it into place because there was still more for me to learn. So now I'm at this place where I have really gone so deep with it, I fully understand it. Now, you know, I'm completely different. What I learned from this was instead of looking for that knight in shining armor that I was looking for, that knight in shining armor was always within me. So I found that knight in shining armor in me, and that's my power, that's my strength. So I don't go searching now, looking For that, because I know I have it in me. So it's a completely different outlook I have on what I want and how I want a you know, if how I would want a relationship and what it is I need. So I'm not looking from a place of lack. My table is set, so I'm looking for a relationship, you know, that brings to the table, doesn't take from the table. So the unshackled program will help you rebuild your life, rebuild how you feel inside, you know, emotionally, physically, you know, what you're able to take steps in life with what it is that you want to do, goals, all those types of things. So it offers healing. So we understand trauma, managing the triggers that we leave with and reconnecting with ourselves. We I educate you. So you I teach you about learning about cycles of abuse, understanding how to implement boundaries, emotional safety, and empowerment. I help you with your transformation. So giving you practical tools for rebuilding your confidence, your identity, your independence. And I've also created a community with a group of people who understand, who listen, and who want to rise together. So this isn't about reliving the past, it isn't about sitting in the past, it's about rewriting the future. So, yes, this has happened, but this is your power now. You've gone through that. This is what you make your power to be able to go forward, and you don't go and relive that, you go and create what it is that you actually want out of your life. So, my mission is simple. So it is to help anyone become everything that they were meant to be: unshackled, unapologetic, and unstoppable. I want you to know you're not broken, you are not alone, you are not your past, and you can rebuild with support, knowledge, and with a community that has your back. So this program is created online but also has in-person events as well. So, you know, we have times where we set up, where we are able to meet as a community together, doing something that just ignites our spirit. So thank you for joining me on the first episode. Me sharing my story and the heart behind unshackled is important because healing begins with the truth, and that is mine. So, you know, going forward, there are going to be so many episodes in this unshackled, you know, part of the podcast. So, you know, it was birthed with Let's Find You. Let's Find You is my baby, and I have developed it into Unshackled. So going forward, I will be adding weekly meditations, there'll be weekly teachings, there'll be weekly going deeper with my story, there will be, you know, more tools on to be able to how to, you know, really help you get you to a place where you need to be lots of education and guests as well. I'll be bringing on to the podcast. So we will definitely be diving deeper and really going deep with like trauma, rebuilding our identity, breaking patterns, empowering yourself, you know, to move into the life that you want and you deserve. So remember this your story isn't over, this is just the beginning. So all I can say is welcome to the unshackled podcast. And please, you know, reach out, let me know what you think. Let me know if there's anything you would like to hear. Feedback is always good. I'm then able to create content and you know episodes that can really help on what it is that you need help with, and thank you for listening. So go on and have a beautiful day. Thank you for being here today, for choosing yourself, for choosing your healing, and for choosing a path that not everyone is brave enough to walk. Remember, your nervous system learns safety through repetition. Your mind expands through truth, and your spirit rises every time you honour what's real for you. If today's episode spoke to you, stay connected with me. Let this be a space you return to. To feel understood, supported, challenged, and reminded of who you're becoming. Every conversation here is another step towards reclaiming your power, your peace and your sense of self. And if there's a woman in your world who needs this message to you, share it with her. Healing travels fastest when we pass it on. Before we close, I want to remind you that the doors to my Unshackled program are open. So if you're ready to break the cycles, reconnect with your inner strength and rebuild your life with support that's trauma-informed, somatic, spiritual, and rooted in lived experience, this is where your next chapter begins. By joining Unshackled, not only do you have a community of women, in-person events, and the online programme, this gives you space where you do not have to heal alone and you don't have to figure it out in the dark. You deserve structure, sisterhood, guidance, and a roadmap that actually honours your nervous system. You can find all the details in the show notes below. Now remember, you are not broken, you are not behind, you are unraveling the lies you were told and rising into the woman you were always meant to be. So, until next time, trust your body, honour your truth, and keep moving gently and unapologetically towards your freedom. This is Unshackled, and I'll see you in the next episode. All my love, Chantel.