From Toxic Standards To Healthier Feeds: What Social Media Is Really Doing To Us

Ever feel your feed is steering your life more than you are? We dig into the hidden mechanics and visible fallout of today’s social platforms—how cyberbullying, harassment, and cancel culture thrive in systems designed for engagement, not wellness. With clear examples and plain language, we trace how outrage, anonymity, and frictionless sharing collide to create lasting harm, from reputational hits to real-world violence, and why slowing down our judgment might be the boldest move we can make.

From there, we turn to the comparison trap and what it does to self-worth, especially for teens finding their voice. We talk idols versus identity, the difference between inspiration and imitation, and how echo chambers keep us locked in narrow loops. You’ll hear practical ways to push back: setting time boundaries, curating calmer feeds, and replacing doomscrolling with habits that return energy. We also unpack body image pressure on women and men, the marketing of insecurity, and the health risks that get edited out of perfect posts.

Parents and mentors get a roadmap too—co-viewing strategies, simple media literacy drills, and family norms that make phones less of a battlefield. Throughout, we keep the focus on empathy, accountability, and small daily choices that compound into a healthier digital life. This conversation is an invitation to choose people over platforms, reality over filters, and purpose over performative noise.

If this resonated, follow the show, share it with someone who needs a reset, and leave a quick review to help others find us. Tell us one change you’ll make to your digital routine—we’re reading every note.

We take apart the toxic standards that shape social media and offer practical ways to protect mental health, rebuild attention, and guide kids through a filtered world. From cyberbullying and cancel culture to echo chambers and body image, we map the harms and chart a path to healthier use.

• cyberbullying, harassment, and hate speech online
• cancel culture’s speed and lack of nuance
• misinformation, hoaxes, and conspiracy loops
• comparison traps, idols, and mental health impacts
• echo chambers, targeted feeds, and polarization
• trolling, clout chasing, and real-world harm
• addiction to scrolling and time distortion
• family time, offline habits, and attention resets
• kids’ identity, unrealistic beauty and body ideals
• digital literacy, empathy, and healthier norms

I appreciate your time. I appreciate the day or the night you took the time to listen to me talk. I appreciate that.

for more information on social media please click on the link below:

To Break the Standstill of Social Media Governance, We Need Industry Standards | The Belfer Center for Science and International Affairs

Transcript

Welcome And Topic Overview

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Good morning, good afternoon, good evening, and good night, wherever you are and however you are listening. Welcome to Fruit Blender's Podcast. And on today's episode, we will discuss about social media, the pros and the cons, the good and the bad, and what you can gain from it.

Cyberbullying And Harassment

SPEAKER_00 0:24

But on our first section, we will discuss the toxic standards of social media. So the toxic side basically. However, the issue of toxic behavior on social media has become a significant concern in recent years. And the facts that I have here are what has caused us to all be who we are, who we're gonna become, or who we are acting like. So all these toxic traits is what social media is causing for people to break down. For example, cyberbullying. One of the most disturbing aspects of social media is cyberbullying. People can hide behind anonymity of engaged in a harassing, humiliating, or threatening behavior towards others. This can lead to serious emotional distress and even tragic consequences. For example, someone can suicide, right? Someone can actually commit suicide. That's the tragic side of it. Someone can do time for cyberbullying, scams, any of that. The other one is harassment and hate speech. So, like, for example, I mean social media platforms often become breeding grounds for hate speech, racism, sexism, and other forms of discrimination. Disinhabitation and ease of sharing options can lead to the spread of harmful ideologies and targeting of certain individuals or groups. Um there's a lot of ways that people are so rude towards others on social media. For example, if somebody is doing something like celebrating a religion, a holiday, or um some sort of events, some people are on there on social media taunting people and making fun of them, what they wear, what they eat, and uh all that other negative stuff that carries harassment and hate speech. And when some people are out there taking a stand for something, others don't like it. And that brings us to cancel culture.

Cancel Culture And Misinformation

SPEAKER_00 3:10

Cancel culture. So social media has given rise to cancel culture, right? Where people are quickly judged and condemned based on alleged missteps or unpopular opinions. It can result in public shaming, character assassinations, and destruction of careers and reputations without allowing for growth, forgiveness, or open dialogue. And when I say open dialogue, I mean like they don't really give you the time to explain yourself, your mistakes, um, your career path, or what your story, how the ending of the story is. They don't give you the chance to explain yourself or give them the information that they need to know about you, your business, your show, your career, or your life. They just don't know nothing about you, so they just you know, cancel it. Cancel that. That's all they care about. That's all they want to do is to cancel you, cancel your success and everything that comes within life. And when I when I was saying misinformation is because they don't have the information that they need to even, you know, cancel you. That's where the cancel culture comes in. And misinformation and fake news follows that because social media platforms have become hotbeds for misinformation and fake news, viral hoaxes, right, conspiracy theories, and misleading information can spread rapidly, leading to confusion, polarization, and real-world consequences. For example, the news when somebody dies, a celebrity fakes death, or they're saying this and that, a car crash happened, and someone died that was famous, or you know, they just make about something about something. Um, Illuminati, they talk about you know the Mandela effect and all this other stuff that they don't really have the information to. Um, and if a celebrity or a well-known person figure has um they're sick or they are in bed and or they're just traveling, and then the news comes out, blah blah blah blah blah, and the world or the fans, the group of people that were the followers of that person is misled, and then that causes others to take a stand or get online and write about this and that, or keep spreading that word, or that negative hoax, or viral um conspiracy theories, or you know, misled information, they just let it go and it affects everybody that was the follower of that person.

Comparison, Idols, And Mental Health

SPEAKER_00 6:02

And um, the other thing I want to talk about is comparison and inadequacy. So, for example, um, when you're on social media, it often creates a culture of comparisons where users constantly compare their lives, achievements, appearances to others, this can lead to feelings of inadequacy, low self-esteem, and mental health issues. I mean, come on, I mean, there's there's pros and cons to that because sometimes we all idolize somebody here on the planet Earth, we all idolize somebody that we want to be or become one day, or maybe follow the right path on how they were disciplined or how they were um how they carried themselves, and we want to carry ourselves the right way the right way. So, for example, let's take um LeBron James, Kobe Bryant, Michael Jordan, you know, and these other great leaders um who became successful on what they're doing, they just followed their hobby, they were consistent with it. That's what they mean by comparison and inadequacy, because you are imitating somebody that you're not, but you want to follow the same right path. But even though your life is gonna be different, you want to do what they did. Mamba mentality. That's what a lot of us say all the time, Mamba mentality. That means to never give up, put the work in. So that's what they mean. That's the example I'm gonna give you guys. And the bad the the negative side to that is like if you got um, like let's say, if you want to imitate or follow the shadow of a serial killer, or um a pedophile, or just somebody who's just a negative vibe to the community and the world, you want to follow your path after them, and you want to kill like these, you know what I mean? Like serial killers, you want to follow their path and you want to imitate yourself, like yes, I am this and that, and I'm gonna dominate, you know, people, and I'm gonna, you know, control the world, I'm gonna dictate. That's what they mean by the mental health issue part. You don't want to follow somebody who is against you know, population. Nobody wants that type of person. Nobody wants to be that type of person. The one who's out there to kill, destroy, dominate, control. Nobody wants to imitate that shadow. The other thing I want to discuss is eco chambers and polarization. For example, social media algorithms tend to show users content that aligns with their existing beliefs and preferences. So, for example, let's just say you're um with your friends or family members and you're discussing something that that you like, or you're gonna go do an activity that you looking forward to and you're talking about it. Your phone might be listening, or other devices around you are listening, right? Or let's just say somebody went on your Facebook account, or you went on somebody else's YouTube account and you were searching for something, and then that just pops up out of nowhere the next day. Even ads work like that, right? Ads always pop up, you know, new headphones, new shoes, grab them now, this and that. That's what they're talking about. And then that creates eco chambers where individuals are exposed to a limited range of perspectives, it can reinforce biases, deepen divisions, and hinder constructive dialogue and understanding. So that's what they mean by if you're talking about something the day before that and it just pops out of nowhere on your feed, yeah, that's that's it. That's what they're talking about. And um, so the other thing I want to discuss is about online trolling.

Echo Chambers And Targeted Feeds

SPEAKER_00 10:20

When we get to this part, is like it's it's a little, it's understanding, it's so much understanding, and it is the reason why a lot of negative things are happening. Okay, online trolling refers to intentionally provoking or harassing others online for amusement. Trolls often use offensive language, engage in personal attacks, and seek to incite emotional responses. Their behavior can create a hostile and toxic environment on social media platforms. Let me give you a great example. Rappers. Right? Especially drill rappers. Rappers, some actors, not not a lot, but rappers tend to do this a lot. Everyone has heard of what a beef is. If you have beef with somebody, why go online, troll them, harass them, provoke them, just so you can get a reaction from them. You should not have time for that as a person, as a human being, as an individual. You should not have the time to be doing that. Because that results in negative actions from the other side of that person. There's been a lot of stories where that person is gonna diss the other person on the other side, they call them oppositions, aka ops for short. You should not have the time to be doing that online because that side is gonna react to the way you diss them and embarrass them and then um provoke them, harass them online,

Trolling, Clout, And Real-World Harm

SPEAKER_00 12:12

just for your entertainment or your amusement, which is not okay. This day of age, like to diss back and forth. I mean, rappers back then, they'll diss you, right? They'll diss somebody online or in a song, but when they're there together in in in the groups, or there's no beef, it's just entertainment, right? But the rappers in this generation, they really get in the smoke in, you know, they are really out there to kill. I'm not gonna say no names, but we all know these drill rappers, we all know what goes on and on and on, what keeps repeating, and it's gonna never stop. It's like dominoes falling one by one. One rapper is gonna diss the other side. That rapper is gonna react to that chain, and he's gonna diss somebody from the outside, or he's gonna take a body from the other side because of what he has heard or she has heard online, and it's mostly within us men. If you're a rapper, you know, you want to, you know, not me in general, but you know, rappers are mainly men who are out there attacking the other men on the other side, which are the ops. Somebody wants a body-for-body, which is like non-stop, it's just gonna keep going. So the trolling, the harassing, the provoking, all that stuff just for clout or amusement, entertainment is not okay, it is not welcomed in my book. Because there's been a lot of young people who have lost their lives just because of multiple beefs online, and there's no we're never gonna get peace with that. There will never be peace unless people wanna grow up, be mature, act mature, and get together and start a positive movement. And there's just a lot of sometimes you can have beef with somebody, but it doesn't have to be real, you know, just for entertainment, just to bring money in. Like, for example, take boxing, for example. Take boxing in sports, right? When someone's barking on this side, you barking on that side, man, they are gonna deal with that in the boxing ring on the field or on the court. It's not that serious. At the end of the day, you're entertaining your fans, you're bringing some profit in, remember that, and you're paying yourself too. And you got publicity. We should look at it that way instead of you know talking trash to the other side, you know, like saying this and then saying that, and then spinning it right back and dropping another body and another man. It is just non-stop. Right? It is non-stop, and this this topic, this section goes for men and women. We have females who are out there dissing this one, dissing that one. That becomes drama, toxic. It's all about gossi gossiping and the tea and all that other basic and crazy languages and offenses, and it's just it's nonstop. You want to handle somebody, handle them the right way. Either solve it or end it, or make some money together, right? Make it let it be an entertainment, nothing serious. And one thing we should all consider doing is never diss the dead of the other person's side. Because that is disrespectful, and that what what do you what will what will you get out of that? Does that make sense? What are you gonna get out of dissing the dead? I mean, they're gonna diss your dead too. You're your dead people too. So there is nothing that's gonna stop the trolling, the beef, the online dissing, and dropping bodies after bodies, this side, that side. When is it gonna stop? Never. If we just keep going, it'll it'll never stop. It will never stop. When it doesn't stop, that's when it's called addiction

Addiction, Time Drain, And Reclaiming Life

SPEAKER_00 17:02

and time distortion. The design of social media platform is often aimed at maximizing users' engagement and keeping people hooked. A lot of people out there are big fans, they love what you're doing, they like to hear what you're you know, what you're working on, they want to really be a fan, they want to be engaged, you know. And this can result in addictive behaviors, right? Excessive screen time, and distorted sense of time. Users may often experience negative impact on their mental health, productivity, and real life relationships. Let me give you an example. If you are on your phone every day and night, you lost it. You lost it. If you need your phone every second, you lost it. TikTok. You're draining time, you just keep swiping, swiping, swiping, craving for more, craving for more. And we're gonna discuss about that in the next section. So you are just sitting there wasting your time, and you don't know where when it's gonna end. You just keep scrolling, scrolling, scrolling. You are um wasting your own time. You need to go outside, put the phone down, go outside, give it a little screen time, you know, time off, take some time off. Enjoy time with your family, enjoy time with your pets, your friends, your um, your kids, your hobby, whether you like to work on cars or do makeup or um anything you like to do, just give it time. Invest in your own time. Don't sit there scrolling through social media looking for validation or looking to look better or find something better, someone better. It's not worth it. What happened to like real human connections, right? What happened to that? What happened to us going outside, getting together with our friends, family members, whoever, whomever, or whatever? What happened to that? Like, I'm old school, I grew up old school. What happened to going outside, playing every day, outside after school, or after we do our homework? What happened to that? What happened to us just being outside playing soccer, riding our bikes, playing sports, being busy, entertained, and productive in a healthy way, in a healthy fashion. I miss that. I just miss until we were outside. Until I I miss us being outside until sundown. And then dinner would be ready. Moms and dads' parents calling our names, siblings calling our names, and we're all just chasing each other to go upstairs just to eat, and then we watch TV. We relax at that point. I feel like whether you are a male or female, no matter what age you are, you should give time to your family, yourself, your pets, and the ones around you. Give yourself some time. Think about it. Addressing the toxic standards of social media requires collective effort from social media companies, users, and society as a whole. Stricter moderation policies, improved algorithms, and increased digital literacy can also contribute to creating a healthier and more positive online environment. Additionally, promoting empathy, kindness, respectful discourse, and responsible digital citizenship can help mitigate the toxic aspects of social media. Let's break it down. We all need to start promoting a positive movement on social

Kids, Identity, And Unrealistic Ideals

SPEAKER_00 21:15

media. Anyone who can get on board and of doing that, think of what kind of generation we can have, we can raise the next few years. The next few generations. Think about it. Just how well they can do and how well they can take care of social media. So let's spread some positive news. Let's do that. Because social media has gone out of hand. And some people don't know what's going on behind closed doors. Especially like what about this? What about what are our kids doing on social media? Think about that. What are our kids doing on social media? Who are they talking to? And what are they watching? What are they seeing on social media? That's when it comes to like, for example, we have a lot of young kids, young adults, children who have phones, electronic devices, video game consoles, laptops, tablets, iPads, right? They have all these electronic devices. The question is, what are they doing when you're not around? Who are they talking to? What are they seeing? Times have changed. Kids nowadays want to look like somebody else online. Male or female, they want to look like somebody else online. They want they want that life, they want that lifestyle, they want that image. That's when it comes to kids not accepting for who they are, accepting themselves for who they are, their bodies, their image, their sense of humor, their confidence is gone. Because they are seeing all this fake news, fake life, fake stories, fake images, fake bodies, fake faces, hair. Anything you can imagine is online. A lot of kids are not themselves no more. I want to be this, I want to be that. Social media is like a different portal. Someone out there is dragging you in, and you're craving it. You are switching, you are swiping left and right, up, down. You're just craving for more. Oh, he looks good. Oh, she looks good. Oh, I want to look like that. I want to be him, I want to be her. You want to change your body, you want to change your face. You see all that. You don't but what you don't see is that you don't you don't see the Photoshop, you don't see the plastic surgery, you don't see the pain, you don't see um the work that you gotta put in. You don't you don't see that. Let me just make it this clear. It's just so much easier to be yourself, accept your body, your image, your personality, your confidence, your personality. Just expect accept yourself. And don't expect others to accept you for being somebody different, just be yourself.

Beauty, Body Image, And Industry Pressure

SPEAKER_00 25:12

Let's talk about the beauty industry. Women, alright. Let's just say that you women are out there on your phone watching TV, doesn't matter what you're doing, but you see a commercial or an ad pop up saying, Hey, go buy these beauty supplies. You know what you do, you go buy it. These are the things that create or that make women self-conscious, these are the things that create the unrealistic ideals of beauty that we have, that you have. So they're trying to turn you into somebody else that you're not, basically taking your natural beauty and saying, use these chemicals to look better and feel better. Now, men, you see a guy in the gym training, working hard, but he's huge, big. And you want to be just like that guy, you want to be fit just like that guy, right? But you don't know what comes with the behind that the pain, the steroids, the pill, the supplements, and they're body shaming you. Hey woman, these beauty industries are face shaming you, they're saying you don't look beautiful enough, just the way you are, use these chemicals and supplies. Men, they're saying you don't you're scrawny, you're skinny, you need to be buff in order to be a man. You gotta be big in order to be a man. These these are the images that they want us to create crave on. That way we want to look like somebody else. And if you're into beauty supplies and makeup, great, but use it to your advantage where, like, you know, you don't it's not taking too much of your time and it's not sucking and draining the real natural beauty out of you. You understand what I'm saying? Sometimes it's okay to be out there without makeup, and some women prefer just to wear makeup all day, every day. Doesn't faze them. And some women prefer their natural skin just to be naked. I'm out here, I'm gorgeous, I look great, I'm going outside. That's the best part. But hey, if you like makeup, you're doing your thing. As long as you like you like how you feel, great. But don't let them tell you, don't let these companies tell you that you're not beautiful. Don't let them tell you that, you know. Personally, it's great to see women who are just naturally beautiful and they just accepting their skin, their image, their body. They're not out there to get some plastic surgeries, BBLs, lip injections, all this other stuff to look better, to change their image. And men, don't be out there shooting steroids up on yourself and killing yourself, draining your battery, trying to be fit and buff, or look that big. Don't a lot of bodybuilders are dying for a reason. You know why? A lot of women are destroying their skin. You know why? They're trying to make you look like somebody else that you're not, so it's important to be yourself. Don't let social media tell you who to be and what to be. Be yourself. One last thing. When I told you, give yourself some time from social media, the electronics and TV and laptops and iPads and whatever, I

Digital Boundaries, Safety, And Final Message

SPEAKER_00 29:03

mean it. Put it all aside or turn it off. Especially when you're going to work. If you have a certain playlist, music, sounds, some you know, white sounds that you like to listen to on your way to work, just to you know, give you a little bit of energy or peace. Put it on, have it ready, click play, and drive. Don't be on your phone texting and driving or watching some kind of entertainment on your phone or on your devices. Don't be distracted on the road. Please be careful out there. Please. Let's get back to these young men and women, teenagers. 80% of teen girls compare themselves to images that they see of celebrities, actors, actresses, and they want to just change the way they feel. They are insecure, they are they're losing their personality, they're losing their focus and their self-image. They're losing it, they want to be somebody else. It's good to be careful of letting this nonsense soak up all your energy like a sponge, and there's nothing left of you. You don't look like yourself, you know, you don't you don't act like yourself no more, and your family's friends might be like, What is going on with you? So I would love it if we all just take the time to go to the mirror, just look at yourself, don't let others judge you. You are who you are, you are born that way, and it'll never change unless you let the social media change it, the people change it. So be yourself. Self image is the real deal. Thank you for listening. And this is how I always leave you guys. I appreciate your time. I appreciate the day or the night you took the time to listen to me talk. I appreciate that.