What up , welcome back to the come on . You know cast , I'm your host and Today , tonight , this evening , we're gonna talk about Something that is I don't . I don't really want to talk much about Dayton because we all kind of get it . We just act like we don't want to get it . But whatever I will . People solicit my advice and I'll give it to him . Why not ? It's free . So before I like , I want to talk about the term connection tonight . Today , wherever you are , I do so .
Speaker 1I had a friend slash coworker asked me about it and and someone else that I know brought it up , and I really think that we misuse that term with regards to , with like , regarding to Dayton , and you know , you know I'm a genius , so I'll spit my genius science on you about that term and how it's used Regarding Dayton . So if I start that , like dude , I was going to , I was coming home from work and I was stuck behind a Pepsi truck . Who gets stuck behind a Pepsi truck , one who still drinks Pepsi to ? Why are there Pepsi trucks Like it is ? Is there like mad crates Pepsi inside of that truck ? Probably not . Is like every lane that I switched , he switched , or it switched , or they switched . Switching back . They switch back . It's like come on , man , anyway , that dude was like following me home Well , he was leading me home , or to the podcast studio , but anyway , that's that . So like Back to connection .
Speaker 1Regarding Dayton , so Like , I have my own definition of Connection , and Rather not , you agree with me , I'm probably right . So there's that . So my bottom line up front is that People more , more , more then More than not , is that the right way to say it ? Like I'm not , I'm not . I'm like it's not women against men and men against women . I think women use that term more so than men . Men use the term like . It's like , hey , I like to , women do too . But women say , hey , I wanted a connection , and blah , blah , blah . But to me , a connection is not something that you search for or look for or discover . It's something that you build . Right , if you disagree with me , disagree with me , but I'm right . It's also something that is developed . It's not something that you find . It's not a piece of gold . It's gold when you create it , when you develop it . But it's not something that you know . You go to California , you hunt in the hills , put on the boots , dig for it , and it's like oh , I found it , I found a connection . So like no , so we misuse that term . I think we misuse that term when we're talking about dating .
Speaker 1Connection is to me it's like a , it's a mutual attraction . It's not one side , it's not like , oh , I had this connection with this girl or I had this connection with this guy . It's like no , it's a two-way street . It's like it's comba- , combat comba that's definitely connection . It's like compatibility , it's more of an emotional resonance .
Speaker 1Why am I having serious shows ? Anyway , it's like it's an intangible . To me it's a spark , it's a chemistry . People use the word chemistry , but it's not something that is just there . If something is just there , that's an attraction . So I'm giving , also kind of giving , like dating advice , tidbits or bet . I don't want to , but that's the thing Whatevs . So it's deeper than an attraction .
Speaker 1So we misuse it because I think we use the term connection interchangeably with attraction . It's like oh , yeah , this person likes the same things that I like , so we have a connection . It's like no , you are attracted to a person that likes the same thing as you like , but you can be like a person can like the same things that you like and you don't have a physical attraction to them or mental attraction to them . A connection is like , dude , we like a few things , but this person understands me , this person understands how I like travel through life , how I maneuver , and I love it . And this connection to me equals love , like I cannot deny that I love this person and that's right . So Not having a connection to someone is an excuse . It's like , oh , why don't I have a connection ? It's like , well , you can't have a connection to me in the hour and a half that we had dinner or went to a movie or whatever . Like that means you can have a connection to a stranger . It's like , no , you can be attracted to a stranger , you can lust a stranger in an hour , you can desire a stranger , but you won't have a connection . So we need to kind of look at what we're talking about , look at what we are holding in high regard as far as who we choose . And this is right , I'm telling you this is right . And connection is subjective and not every date or person that you see will lead to this feeling . But it is a feeling . But you can . If it's your feeling , you can trust that feeling , but you're not gonna get it on the first go-round , like you connect with the person later on .
Speaker 1People think connections are instant . Attraction is instant . Connection is not instant because what you do is you are attracted to a person and it's like hey man , I'm connected to this person . It's like , well , you don't know . You're connected to the person because you don't know if that person is connected quote unquote to you . You're attracted to that person and you want to build something with that person because you think that attraction is solid ground , but you don't know if that person is attracted to you . Like a connection is like , dude , this person is my pillow Is pillow . Like I want to lay on this person and you know what I'm saying . You know what I'm saying . I mean it's connection is subjective , but you know when it's real . You know when it's real . Like a connection is not instant . It is not . You have to build it , you have to work on it , you have to learn .
Speaker 1Connection to me is understanding . You don't understand a person on a first , on a two hour date . You like them , you like them , you listen to them , you can admire them , but you're not going to understand them . You don't understand a person instantly . It's impossible , no matter like . If you are , like it's impossible . So I dare any scientist , psychologist , behavioral scientist , personal life coach , I dare them to challenge me . I'll go toe to toe straight up . But it's not .
Speaker 1Connection is built . It really really is . You know why , like the voices are horrible , people hate or people like have a bad time with the voices because they worked on the like establishing a connection , establishing it . It's like , well , we are focused on breaking the connection . That's what it's about . Nobody has a connection after the second , first , third , third date . It's impossible .
Speaker 1And if you think it's not , challenge me , but it is , it is . It's like it really is . But it can't be forced either . Like if one party is attracted to the other and you're trying to develop a connection , you know that's called not having one . That's what it's called . So it's developed gradually , like over time , as people get to know each other better , cause we are all people , whether or not you know you're a woman , man , whatever , question mark this that we are people and that's what we know best . We know that we are people . People know when like fake and funk this , that , but people over time , and that is actually A lot of times what people are scared of is learning a person over time , because it's like , hey , I learned this person over time and then I learned what I don't like and you don't want to like , not like stuff , but anyway .
Speaker 1So I know right , my , my , did I say my definition of connection ? My definition of connection is learning . It's learning , understanding , loving . It's like man , I want to this person . I know their heart , their footsteps , I know their mind . I know they're going to like , help me when I'm trying to figure out this issue , this problem , or they won't help me figuring out this issue or problem , and it's just true , like knowing this . It really is . Why , why am I creating another show ? That is not funny . Yeah , yeah , yeah . So anyway , here's my dating advice Sit down on a person , have a date
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Speaker 1You think you don't have a connection . It's because you don't . You're not going to have a connection over a 45 minute dinner . You're going to have an attraction . If you have an attraction and it doesn't lead anywhere , then you just had an attraction that doesn't leave anywhere . You have an attraction that leads to a connection . That means you wanted to know the person , you wanted to get into the crux of it , you wanted to snatch open that rib cage , dive into that heart , understand that heart and like just soak it up and what like . That boils down to what you want to do . What you want to do If you just want to be entertained , you're not looking for a connection . If you want to be loved , you are , like straight up investigating for a connection . If you just want to I don't know have a dinner , then you're hungry , who knows . Anyway , let me know what you think and that's all I got . Thanks for watching .