Welcome back to the Come On you Know podcast . I'm your host . I will forever be your host . This whole episode is about that . Today I want to talk about a very sensitive slash , prominent slash , it's a thing slash issue . I want to talk about heartbreak . So in my age group we've experienced it . No matter who you are , you have , I have .
Speaker 1I don't know why I keep addressing these serious topics , but I just want to , I guess . Well , maybe I don't . I keep . I solicit topics to talk about , I'll be honest , from peers and friends and whoever and whoever , and they always give me serious topics . No one says like , yeah , yeah , talk about clowns juggling in the latest comedy special on whatever your favorite streaming services . It's always some sensitive topics . Like Sorry , talk about the socioeconomic effects of who , why ? Why you want to have fun . If you do that for work or if you have to keep track for professional reason or you just do for entertainment , first of all , if you do for entertainment , you'll mean but anyway , heartbreak .
Speaker 1Heartbreak is actually a fun topic because it's a very human topic and here at the Come On you know podcast we try to . We have a spotty co-host that he's like where's Waldo ? He's here , he's there . I don't know where he is supposed to be here now You're like , yeah , I got stuff to do . I got to take the trash out , okay , but anyway . So , like that , that topic is very it's a very human topic , is something that has , or it has the potential to affect your entire life . It's a memory . Hold on to her meaning . You don't necessarily forget heartbreaks . You can forget happy times , but you really don't forget hard times . In a in a heartbreak is a hard time . So I want to talk about dealing with it , experiencing it . I know it's not a humorous topic , but who cares ? You know why not ? Let's dive in . So I'll speak about my experience , think about what I learned and how you can deal with it , because Every now and again I get people telling me that , hey , slightly a genius , you should be in some type of record book or some type . You should get some type of award , the type of trophy . Again , I don't need a trophy , it just a smile on your face . That that is my reward , you know , even though your teeth are yellow . But that being said , so , heartbreak . So I experienced heartbreak and I did not know I experienced it . So I was relationship , that that that I Thought I was in it to win it , but I was in it .
Speaker 1Long haul truck driver status , you know , going from coast to coast , um large-march type of deal , shot out to when I shout out to it . But alright , p Peewee , herman , I , I Thought I was in and it was long distance and you know what , she'll never listen to this so I can talk about it all I want . Yeah , like I was gonna be the one to move , do the , do the do just get , you know , go Build the life and plan and stuff , etc . Etc . And I Kind of did . I moved halfway because it was long distance . We continue to talk .
Speaker 1It was a weekend type of deal . I'll go there on a weekend and play family and , and I was , I was building a ring . It's okay , I'm gonna propose to this woman Because I thought that's what she wanted , because she would mention it , she would talk about it like marriage , this , that , whatever . Yeah , I could see that . So I'm trying to plant the seeds around everybody around me . I , kid and I was doing the best that I could do , working , doing that , and so I did .
Speaker 1I proposed , and Maybe a couple of days , so like when I proposed it was , it was . You know , it was fresh and new hot topic . So she wanted to show it off , like , yeah , I'm taking a couple of days later . So I took the day I Proposed on a weekend . I took the Monday off for work so I could stay because I figured , you know , it'd be a happy time . Sorry , I'm a human . So I have , like what is this ? Gas bubbles and I had some dope like a shrimp salad , anyway .
Speaker 1So , like a day a couple of days later , I figured , you know , she would Wear the ring to work and show co-workers of all black . So she didn't . She didn't wear the ring to work and this was more or less a showy person . So I'm like , hey , you didn't wear your ring to work , was going with that . She's like , yeah , I didn't want to , I don't , I don't think you're the type of person that doesn't want to . Nonetheless , she's like , yeah , I'm like , well , what's what's the ad about ? You know , don't , don't , am I ? What is it ? What's it about ?
Speaker 1She's like , well , I kind of wish the rock was bigger and I'm like All types of records , all types of vehicle , like rubber burns . It was like , hey , what do you mean ? The rock ? The rock Was not small . It wasn't some like pee . We Herman that shot out to what RP pee ? We heard me , but like , I'm like , hey , I took like a diamond class . I learned about the triple C's , color , cut , clarity , all of that . So I got like a . You know it's a very quality type of deal . And and she told me she's like , hey , I would have rather like a less clarity diamond that was bigger than Medium-sized . I'm like , well , this is not a small diamond . It's like well , it's so you don't Respect slash Value , quality Question mark . She's like , yeah , I'm like well , you gotta explain the end to me , so , anyway . So , and Shortly thereafter she said , hey , why don't ?
Speaker 1And I will never forget this line because it was very , it was a very well stated line . She's like hey , I Don't love you enough to sustain a marriage . I'm like that is a very Like . There was some editors involved with that line . That's very , that's very good . I respect the English in that line , you know . And so I'm like okay , I gotcha , I got just like .
Speaker 1That was strange because , you know , previously in this entire relationship you were Kind of like the cheerleader for marriage . So once it became real , you're like well , I don't want to be real People of people , and I understand that . I'm one for Adjusting to your situation , so I'm not gonna be like oh what , 15 months ago you said this like . I'm not gonna hold you to it . If you change your mind , I get it . You know , we're not . We're not that , that's our goals . So , anyway , that was my heartbreak is like Bum , bum , bum Split , it's like . But I realized something , though , and we have to be real .
Speaker 1This is the come on , you know Podcasts like come on , you know let's , let's . We can be honest . Don't be afraid to be honest . I Don't think , well , no , I'm not gonna say I don't think so . I wasn't . My marriage wasn't her . The marriage that I proposed wasn't her . It was for the situation . And Don't , you don't like . I see you , I see you . I see you like , trying to like . I See you as an audience member or whatever you are , or Subscriber , or first-time listener . I don't know what I'm supposed to say . I see you trying to like dodge that title or what I'm saying . But that is a thing . That is a thing . And Don't , don't try to act like that's not a thing , like where this is we , we , we will be clear , we will be clear and we will be One hundo . Come on , you know it is what it is .
Speaker 1I was more so in love with the situation . So my heart was broken because the situation to me was broken . My situation was , you know , going back to where I'm from , but on blood , it was a person that I was familiar with . It's like , okay , roots , I could water some roots , and that's a reference to gardening , one of my hobbies , and we're gonna get into a , we're gonna , I'm gonna create a garden in mishaps and unmishaps episode . But I realize it like you know , you , you , when you step outside yourself and you see what's really going on , you , you know what's going on . You just don't want to address it or Just admit it or adhere to what the right thing to do
is .
Speaker 1I was more so in love with the situations . Like , hey , I'm slightly young In love and I want to build something and this person is my catalyst and that's where it is . I want to get back to where I want to go back to Experses my catalyst I could build , I could build it , I could be involved , I could press forward and that's what it was . So my heartbreak when she pulled the plug on it , 90% of my heartbreak was because I didn't pull the plug on it and Don't you like get , don't give me the side-eye . We all know that's the thing . If the other person pulls the plug , a Lot of that is because you . It's like .
Speaker 1I'm not an ego person . I don't . I have . I have negative 10 egos , like a whatever , but it's still a gut punch . It still is a gut punch and that was a gut punch to me because I was building a situation around this person and we , we all do it man , woman , all of that . We build situations around people as as as much as we , you .
Speaker 1You can be a realist , idealist in Between whatever , whatever that will be real idealists , I don't know . But we all have a picture that we paint that the other person doesn't know about , and we are hesitant to admit what that picture is . Sometimes we do . Sometimes you know there's people that are Bad , bad , want this , but about you , give it to them , and that eyes are bigger than their stomach . That's another story , but we all have a picture . No one is walking out here blindly like I don't know what's going on . Whatever happens happens . People may say that , but they , they want certain things that happen .
Speaker 1Right , but once I experienced that when she pulled the plug , a lot of that was because I didn't pull the plugs like hmm , hmm , yeah . So she , she took an eraser On my canvas erase , erase , erase , erase , erase right side , right side , right side , right side , left side , left side , left side erased , erased , mad . You know , I'm over here , you know , combining oils , slapping , slapping . What do you call art paint ? Oh , like mad greens , green number seven , don't tossing green number seven on as she's erasing it . But that was . That was a big deal , and especially because I was Assumably all and I was . I was assumably all and my the picture that I was painting . So this is what happened .
Speaker 1I Never dealt with heartbreak prior to that . I was always young . My relationships prior to that I Didn't have many was like high school . Then , after you know they're a little old , there's like in is in college . You know , girl , try to hit me with a car . So it's like dodging cars . But I was never that was my first Thinking seriously want to propose Building a ring , taking a diamond class . This is what I'm gonna do , this is what life's gonna be like , houses , you know all that stuff .
Speaker 1But so it affected . I didn't know and this is why I wanted to talk . I'm taking the wrong world to talk about this , but this is the it's like . This is the significant part how it affects you . It affects you , it affects it's . It's an heart issue , but it affects your brain . Our brains are , are . It's our . That's the cockpit Right . The heart can be the gas . If you will not a physician , but I'm smart I Did not realize how it would affect me emotionally .
Speaker 1I don't mean , and one that's , this is another , this is another . When I say emotional , that's another episode . So to me , emotional just means upset . Someone says , hey , dispersion is emotional . That just means they express being upset . But like , I Couldn't listen to certain music , like I've never experienced that before and I'm quite a regular dude , like you know , dirt , whatever , uppercuts , guns , video games , uh , ranch dressing , all that boots .
Speaker 1But I'm like , why can't I listen to this song ? Can't listen to a song , I'm thinking about what I could have had and it affected me . And it was a very real experience . It wasn't something that happened just when I went to sleep or woke up , or you know , if the weather was too crazy . I'm like , oh man , I wish I was with her . Like no , this was like an everyday thing and and I was like man , like I couldn't even talk to certain people because it's like , yeah , your first name has the first letter of her first name , it was . It was really like that , so like that is a thing . That is when I realized it was a thing , and you know how I dealt with it .
Speaker 1I didn't , I didn't I let it overtake me and I mean I wasn't paralyzed . It still , I'm a very responsible person , so I just I did what I had to do , but I wasn't suited for managing it . If that sounds , if that you know what I mean , if you , if you know what I mean , like , come on , you know , like , how do you manage that ? How do you manage that if you never manage that ? Like experience is a thing . Like people that experience heartbreak all the time , they build up a heartbreak type of character , and that's what I noticed . Like I wasn't a heartbreak type of character . I was a never experienced heartbreak type of person , because I didn't . I was never in that . Uh , like I , I Like I experienced breakups , but not heartbreak .
Speaker 1That is a whole new realm . That's like level 10 . That's like fighting the boss in the video game . It's like oh well , you do , you just do like , do like mad , mad . I don't know where , where did that hook come from ? Like but a bump , but there's that .
Speaker 1So I couldn't listen to certain songs , I couldn't talk to certain people , I couldn't play it out in my mind because you , you could never . You can play things out of your mind , but it doesn't . And then you , you don't know what the other person is going to , you don't know the moves they're going to make . You can't , you can anticipate what they're going to do . But people are people . You may assume they're going to go right , because everything says they're going to go right . They go left . But anyway , dealing with heartbreak , I'm wiser now and I'm straight , 100% wiser now .
Speaker 1This is , this is how I think you should deal with heartbreak . First of all , at this age and I'm talking about folks my age , the Gen X is the greatest generation I'm renaming us . I'm renaming us . We see it coming . We see it coming and and we , for the most part , we tend to be more protective . I like talking to people my age and older . We're a little bit more protective , we . We know the possibilities , you know , of successful relationships that don't lead into heartbreak or or just whatever you know , not so serious relationships that don't lead to irritation . That could be , like you know , kind of a comparable , comparable , comparable , comparable , comparable , blee , comparable , blee synonymous . You know what I'm talking about . So , like we tend to like , what I notice is is a lot of people try to be mean to combat meanness , and that's not a thing you shouldn't .
Speaker 1You shouldn't do that Like you , don't be mean to me to make me thinking . You know , thinking you're going to make me , you know , like , like you , but anyway , so like we do that to try to not be a quote unquote victim of heartbreak . Heartbreak is not bad . It's not bad because you know what it means . It means you have a heart . It really means
you have a heart .
Speaker 1I learned that I'm like at that point I did not know . When I experienced what I experienced , I did not know I had the ability to feel that way . I didn't know . It's not about controls . It's not like all this woman had control over me . It's learning yourself . It's learning how you react to adverse situations . There's no different than being in a car accident , being in a war , being in a you experience a sudden loss , extraordinary loss , extraordinary loss , something that happens to you that you don't expect that is a significant emotional event . Well , that is heartbreak . But all we have are other people . Heartbreak is almost the most . I think it's more or less like the most humanizing event . I guess I'm making the words don't care , but it's a thing .
Speaker 1How do you not experience heartbreak ? That's what I'm leaning towards , because if you don't experience heartbreak , you don't value heart , you don't value people . This is how you deal with it . You don't . You go through it . You recognize it . You understand yourself , you understand your situation , you understand the other . Why is everything so serious ? I'm trying not to be serious , trying to be unserious , like the opposite of serious , like mad , not serious . That's the thing .
Speaker 1My advice is like hey , meet somebody , talk to them , love them , get your heart broken , understand that situation , understand that person , understand that person's views , understand your views , understand what didn't fit , respect it , not the heartbreak , not if somebody did something crazy to you , like try to hit you with a car , like I experienced , but understand that they may have felt a certain way about being with you and you felt a certain way and maybe it didn't jive up or link up or sync up , and all of that . Once you respect it . It's like okay , okay , it's not about you , it's not about them , it's not about the situation , it's about all three . Once you could step out of that , it's like okay , okay , like it's .
Speaker 1I don't want to say it's less painful , because it shouldn't be less painful , because if you try to , if it becomes less painful to you , you're a psychopath . I don't care if you're a new listener or listener . I'm telling you that If it's less painful or if it doesn't feel , if it doesn't feel like anything , it feels like a , the unflavoured jello , than you're a psychopath and I'm charging you with that . But just respect it . Respect it and understand where it's coming from . All people . Once you've realized that people are people like , heartbreak is not so hard to deal with , because that's all we have . All we have is heartbreak , people , air and traffic . So I got that Get down .