Come On You Know Podcast

What Do We Actually Mean When We Say "I Trust You"?

KMDA Studios Season 1 Episode 17

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Trust—it's a small word with enormous implications that we all use daily, but have we stripped it of its true meaning?

After returning from a hiatus (and nursing a ruptured Achilles tendon that gave me newfound empathy for Aaron Rodgers), I'm tackling this fundamental concept that underpins our personal relationships, business partnerships, and daily interactions. As the first episode under the KMDA Studios banner, I wanted to dig into something substantial—something we all think we understand but rarely examine critically.

What if trust isn't about emotional loyalty or fidelity at all? What if it's simply recognizing patterns and having confidence in their continuation? Throughout this episode, I explore how trust functions as predictability over time rather than an emotional safety net. When someone says, "You broke my trust," they're often really saying, "You violated my expectations"—two fundamentally different concepts that we've merged together in modern conversation.

We've diluted the power of trust through misuse, particularly in the age of social media where authenticity competes with curated presentation. Companies throw around "trust me" slogans while individuals use trust as a weapon in relationships without truly understanding what they're asking for. By reclaiming the true meaning of trust as pattern recognition—like trusting a train will arrive on schedule because it always has—we can develop healthier expectations of others and ourselves.

Whether you agree with my perspective or think I'm completely off-base, I invite you to listen, reflect, and challenge your assumptions about this cornerstone concept. Subscribe to the podcast as we continue pulling back the curtain on words and ideas we take for granted but might not fully comprehend. Come on, you know you want to hear more.

Speaker 1:

whoa, whoa, whoa. Welcome back listeners, my loyal followers, welcome back to the come on you know podcast. Uh, I've been gone for a minute. I know I say that all the time, but guess what? I'm saying it again. And uh, yeah, I mean it this, like I meant it the other times, so check it out.

Speaker 1:

I am proud to say that the Come On you Know podcast is now presented, I don't know, funded, hosted, powered by KMDA Studios. So that means I have to be a little bit more professional and I don't have to worry about sponsors. Well, I do have to worry about it, but it's not just you know. I mean worry. So, yeah, we're gonna come at you a little bit. Uh, more professional now. Uh, I have to, or I will squeeze in more shows. I have to, or I will squeeze in more shows. I won't be on a six month hiatus like I have been, but anyway, life changes. I ruptured my Achilles tendon and so, pardon me. So, yeah, you know, I'm a Jets fan, so I was upset when Aaron Rodgers did the same thing sometime back, fussing, yelling at the TV screen, you know, cursing my favorite team, my Jets, then fast forward present. I do the same thing. So empathy is real straight up, anyway. So now we're powered by KMDA Studios I don't know if powered is the right word, but I'm using it. More professional, I'll drop more shows, get that admin stuff out of the way. I feel good, this is where I belong. I'm happy to be back behind the mic and getting my uh groove back, as us old, older people, elders, would say uh, you know, we have um a movie as a reference to that line. But yeah, so anyway, my first show under kmda studios.

Speaker 1:

So I want to talk about something that is relatively important and you know, hey, come on. You know podcast, we're all about pulling back the curtains on real topics. First, I was just going to talk about my adventures as a human being, stuff like that, my hobbies. But who really cares about my hobbies? Everyone has hobbies. I fit under this uh, kmda studios umbrella. You know, see if I'm worthy, but I'm pretty sure I am. So no fluff. You know we keep sit hundo. I guess I don't know what the kids say now, but who cares? But anyway.

Speaker 1:

So I want to talk about trust, the word trust, the idea of trust. I'm a little older, I understand people now, understand society, understand the individual, understand. Uh, yeah, I guess you could kind of say group thinking, macro level type stuff, micro level type stuff, the individual and I've had many conversations with many friends and coworkers about that. We throw that word around professionally, personally, mainly personally, but I haven't asked to grind about that personally. But I haven't asked to grind about that. Hey, you know, I'm a pretty smart guy and I I'm gonna spew my intelligence on you, my audience, and you can let me know if I'm right or wrong, but 10 times out of 10 I'll be right, but anyway.

Speaker 1:

So trust, the word, the verb, the action, the idea, the theory. What does it mean? What is it actually? So, wow, did my Siri just go off? No one was talking to Siri. Technology has taken over.

Speaker 1:

But anyway, no one really defines trust. Everyone uses it. I've used it, I use it. I probably have not used it in a sense of how I think of it.

Speaker 1:

So, like, do we even know what trust means anymore? Like, I'm not gonna dive too deep in, like the old english definition and what it it meant two, three, four, five hundred years ago. But what do we see it as now? So I think just as an adult, human, professional, uh, someone with the social life, I hear it. I hear it a lot pertaining to relationships and human on human contact type of stuff. So, like to me and this is to me, but I'm generally right Like trust isn't necessarily, it's not love, it's not, I guess, like loyalty to me is Like loyalty to me is basically predictability and it's being comfortable with being able to predict predictability over time. So, like, what I mean by that is I know I'm going to catch some crap for this, but hey, bring it on. If you disagree, disagree, let me know. I mean, I may or may not care, probably won't, but you could try.

Speaker 1:

So, like to me, people use the word trust generally when they're talking about relationships, right, infidelity, when they're talking about relationships, right, infidelity. So, hey, you, you broke my trust or you lost my trust because you, generally they talk about in relationships, they talk about infidelity and cheating and stuff like that. Right, like, hey, I expected this person to be loyal to me because we're in a relationship. They weren't loyal and they cheated and so I I lost trust to them, right, but that's trust is not necessarily like the, the non-cheating and all of that is an expectation. It's like, hey, we chose to be um in a relationship together. So my general expectation is that you are in a relationship together. So my general expectation is that you are in a relationship with someone else. So that's an expectation.

Speaker 1:

It's not, to me, necessarily trust. Trust is like, hey, trust is a form of comfort to me. It may not be to you, but you're wrong. To me it's a form of comfort. It's like an emotional safety net. I lean towards it being tethered to emotions and an emotional state, as opposed to a tangible, logical, more so. Logical, more so. Uh, I don't want to say professional term, what it is. You can use it outside of just describing something that you want in a relationship, right, you know what I mean.

Speaker 1:

Like you could say hey, man, I trusted that you were going to pick up the phone. It's because every time I call after five o'clock when you're off of work, you pick up the phone, right, but still, that's an emotional type, anchor type of deal. It's like, hey, I felt as though this person would respect me enough and saw that it was me that they would pick up the phone, respect me enough and saw that it was me that they would pick up the phone. So I built trust. But, like, I think we have tethered it to that so much that we've we make it more important than what it is like. It's a dramatic effect to it.

Speaker 1:

Now. It's like I could say, hey, man, I trusted you to take out the trash, nobody cares about that. It's like no, I expected you to take out the trash, nobody cares about that. It's like no, I expected you to take out the trash because, as a reasonable and prudent human being, I know you saw the trash was over, you know overflowing or it was too much, and boom, you did the right thing to take it out. But if you didn't, no one says well, I don't trust you to take out the trash anymore. You know it's, it's a very, you know, tangible thing and it's not tied to like no one is, no one's feelings will be heard if the trash isn't taken out. So I don't know if I'm making sense, but I know I'm making sense.

Speaker 1:

But I really think that we are almost abusing the word trust now. And yeah, you could use it in different aspects, different forums, different, like I said, aspects of your life. Like professionally, you have to trust partners, if you have business partners, for them to do their uh part in their business. But then that's almost like it's a reasonable expectation, like, hey, if I'm hooking up with you as a business partner, I expect you to roll with your 50 percent. That's almost a professional expectation. Oh, pardon me, it's not like a trust thing. I mean, we make it a trust thing but it's not really because I mean, say, it's a new business partner. So what I'm doing is I'm justifying what I think trust is.

Speaker 1:

So for me trust is linked to consistency more than it is to an emotional like. To me it's almost like an emotional anchor if it is, or people kind of use it like that nowadays, but I don't know. But I do know, like I said, it's not, it's predictability over time to me. So if you're in it with a new, it's predictability over time to me. So if you're in it with a new business partner, you're not going to know how they are. So you, you can't necessarily say you trust them or don't trust them, because it's based off of, like, their product, what, what, what you see that they are capable of and what they do. And then you kind of customize trust so, like I've had this conversation with more friends than one and I think a lot of people lean towards it being an emotional safety net and that's it, and net, and that's it. And like that's it, that's where the buck stops with them and like to me, trust is a lie. It's like integrity with money time.

Speaker 1:

When you're talking about business vision, which, when you scale it down, when you peel it on your back, it's consistency, it's like, hey, is this person, is this business partner? You know, do they? If they're trying to reach the bottom line, is that their daily goal? Do they show that every day? Hey, the bottom line, we're trying to hit the bottom line. Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. Is that what they're all about? Or, you know, one day it's like, hey, well, I want to experiment with new stuff. And the next day is the bottom line. And the next day it's like, hey, I have to help my family, so I can't really invest that much In business time. Blah, blah, blah. So, but I think we are definitely nowadays.

Speaker 1:

Nowadays, um, we are probably taking the power away from the word trust. I mean, like, I don't want to, I don't want to bash social media and stuff like that. I'm not doing that because this is a form of social media and I don't want all of my listeners and followers to think that I don't want you to listen and follow. I mean, you know you better. But anyway, like so, trust in a social media perspective nowadays is more like transactional. You know, like people kind of present what they want to be and not necessarily what they are we. We get that. We get that. You have the platform, you're going to do what you're going to do with the platform and it and it almost erodes what people perceive trust to be, that emotional safety net. You know it's like hey, I expect someone to present to me what they really are. You know we all have our personal perspectives about that and it is what it is. I'm not going to go into that. We kind of know what the deal is.

Speaker 1:

So but like, trust me, when people say trust me or businesses say trust me and this and that and that, it's like they're not really nowadays it's not a testament to their consistency's, not, it really isn't, it's just like it's kind of wrong. You know it's. They're using it as like a pr campaign. I'm not a pr person but like trust me, it's like easy to kind of fall back on if you say that or that's your tagline or whatever. But to me, like I said, it's consistency and actions, positive actions. So it's like more so a receipt of like past behavior, like so, if you, you know, if someone's saying, trust me, that's kind of bad because your record should kind of speak for itself right, like that's why you don't see like Bentley commercials and stuff like that and whatever Maybach commercials, because the car, like you don't have to say, hey, this is a great, a great car. It is, I guess, or more luxurious than the regular cars which nowadays that's kind of flipped upside down, like nobody cares, like I don't ever want a Bentley I promised myself, I said, hey, I'll never get a luxurious car again unless I have a driver to come with it. But who cares? Back to the subject at hand. But I hate that I'm tackling such a serious thing. But I'm seeing it. I'm seeing it in my everyday life People using terms just to use them and not really respecting language.

Speaker 1:

And, yeah, words are important, words hurt and all that garbage they do, they don't, they will, they won't. It's just kind of how you take it. But if we all kind of dilute something and we don't really know or we don't really care about diluting it, then that's the way, that's the way we're going to go, but yeah, I'm trying to be a little bit more professional and bring it back to hey, come on, you know, it's because we like to highlight and talk about the truth. I guess it's like you know. Guess it's like you know, come on, you know people use the word trust the wrong way.

Speaker 1:

We just do, and that's, that's how it is, and I'm gonna talk about it and I'm gonna educate my audience on it and if you agree, then stick with me, and if you don't agree, stick with me, and if you don't agree, stick with me anyway and you're wrong, but anyway. So to me, like trust, like I said, I think it's an emotional safety net. People use it as an emotional safety net and it's not really earned by promises. I hate to say, yeah, you can't just talk about it, you got to be about it. That's true. But to me it's built by patterns. I'm just going to get very smart on you real quickly.

Speaker 1:

It's trust me, being vulnerable and admitting that I trust something is just that I recognize a pattern. I'm putting my faith in that pattern. That's all it is. It's nothing more, it's nothing less. I trust that the A-Train is coming every 15 minutes, because it has. It's come every 15 minutes in the past, like that's all trust really is. But when people associate it with other people it has a dramatic effect. Right, it has this like dramatic tail to it.

Speaker 1:

It's like, well, I don't trust this person, so that's a super bad thing. But then, hey, your realization and ability to observe and recognize a pattern may be off. You know what I mean. You may not have the best attention span, you may not realize that this person does this one thing at you know, every day, at 6 30 so am. So you may not say, or you may not realize, like, hey, my best bet is that to trust that this person will do this thing, one thing at 6 30 am, because you don't realize that. So if that person doesn't do it any other time and then you ask them to do it, they don't do it, say, well, I don't trust this person. It's like, well, yo, man, how about you? Look at the whole picture. Don't just act like you're distrusting because or I don't know what the the antithesis is of trusting antitrust, antitrust laws. But sometimes you got to look at the whole thing, you know the whole picture.

Speaker 1:

Like I'm just gonna go, I'm gonna go on record and say, like I really think women use the word trust or I don't, or the sentence I don't trust you a little bit more than men, because it's also it's like reliability part to it, like I don't necessarily want to force someone to be reliable because I need them. So if they're not, I say I don't trust them. I don't know, I'm just saying that as a man, as an adult human being, not saying that I wouldn't want help, but it's like I'm not going to force someone to be available or to be helpful just because I need them to be. So not saying that women do it, but nine times out of 10, it's about that emotional safety net issue is reliability. You know what I mean and that that comes into play when you're talking about relationships and fidelity in the relationship. And fidelity in the relationship, um, you know as it is. So it's like, hey, I relied on you to kind of carry the emotional weight of me seeing you as my anchor, if that makes sense. So if it doesn't make sense to you, you need to reevaluate a lot of stuff.

Speaker 1:

Anyway, yo man, first episode under KMDA Studios. This episode was sponsored by no one, still gaining traction on the sponsors, you know, wish me luck with my Achilles here. It's a pain. Like I did not realize how many steps I have to maneuver every day until the achilles went boom. So, like every, every step, I'm, like they say, in the league making business decisions, decisions, man. Like hey, I do not want to step over that unstable step. It looks a little loose and all that, but I'm back. I'm going to try to pump out Eppies more frequently. I say that every time and I'm gonna continue to say it every time until I do. You better listen, cause you never know what I'm gonna say next, you never know what you're gonna learn next and you never know what I don't know. Theme music I'm gonna come up with, but I, my peoples, I don't know. Theme music I'm gonna Come up with, but Alright, my Peoples, keep it real and come on. You know we're gonna spread that truth. You know that's all I got.