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Hey, wanna come along for a good laugh? Our host has some hilarious stories to share along with unique perspectives on life, events, and situations that'll have you cracking up! From everyday moments to wild situations, Dez will cover everything. You won't be able to stop giggling at their perfect delivery and hilarious twists. So let's get ready to laugh our butts off together! Real life, real truth, real fun. Come on, you know!
Come On You Know Podcast
Grocery Store Nightmares
Ever found yourself trapped behind a family meeting in the cereal aisle? Or cursed with a shopping cart that sounds like it's on its last wheel? You're not alone.
This episode dives headfirst into the chaotic world of grocery store navigation and the myriad ways our fellow shoppers test our patience. From the unexplainable curse of always selecting the cart with "scoliosis" to the special frustration of being blocked from reaching the bread by someone who clearly doesn't understand the concept of shopping flow.
We explore the perplexing phenomenon of shoppers who seem genuinely surprised when it's their turn at checkout, the passive-aggressive placement of divider bars, and the special irritation of being trapped behind someone with expired coupons. There's a special callout to those who FaceTime their way through stores, creating a "grocery committee" that slows everyone down.
The layout of certain stores (looking at you, Wegmans) comes under fire for lacking any sensible traffic pattern, transforming a simple shopping trip into an obstacle course of frustration. These observations hit at the heart of a universal experience - one that showcases humanity at both its most oblivious and its most judgmental.
Whether you're a strategic shopper who plans your trips during off-hours or someone who's been guilty of blocking an entire frozen food section while deciding between ice cream flavors, this episode will have you nodding in agreement and perhaps reconsidering your own supermarket behaviors.
Share your own grocery store horror stories with us and let's compare notes on this mundane yet mysteriously complex social activity that brings out the worst in otherwise reasonable people!
Welcome back to the Come On, you Know Podcast, number one podcast in the country. In my mind. So I ruptured my Achilles and I appreciate you all not giving me love and support. I haven't seen one fan, audience member, patron, whatever you want to call it, say hey, you know, good luck to you, godspeed, etc. Yada, yada, yada, I won't hold you to it, just listen. Anyway, brought to you by KMDA Studios, I gotta be professional and say that this is for.
Speaker 1:This episode is for all my late night travelers, one of my besties, with the besties. I don't know what that means, but get home safe, wake up. Traveling late. This episode is brought to you by the googly eye bandit. There's a co-worker, I suspect, that takes ids and places googly eyes on those ids if they are left unattended. I don't know who this co-worker is, male or female, but I but I respect the game, so my hat's off to your googly eyed bandit.
Speaker 1:Anyway, I like to get a few things off my chest. I want to talk about grocery store maneuvering, supermarket walking, figuring it out, whatever you want to call it, because I actually went to the grocery store today. It was a thing and I finally reached my limit. It's like yo man, come on, every time I go to the grocery store, supermarket, whatever you want to call it the mart, time I go to the grocery store, supermarket, whatever you want to call it the mart I don't know super max, I don't know name your poison, pick your poison. Every time I go I lose more faith in humanity, but I still kind of hold them to a standard. So, anyway, one thing I always get the same cart. It follows me, buggy, what you want to call it, who cares? I get it like. It always has a bum wheel.
Speaker 1:I like my cart that I get, not hating on anybody, but I always get the cart with like scoliosis, it's like leaning. It has like an arch type of like wheel, like the frame is like out of place and it makes noise and I know that it like someone told me that all the carts have messed up. It's like nah, man, because I'm going around a grocery store and other people have carts that don't make a sound, my cart is like screaming, like hey, look at the idiot that picked me. And I have no choice. I pick a cart I'm not like oh what, this one looks better, this frame is a little bit better. I'm going to pick this one, Like nah, I'm the one that I pick a cart, keep it moving, got to get what I got to get and then boom, but it's always a squeaky wheel or something's falling off and it always makes a sound and people always look at me like why are you pushing around that cart? I'm like dude, I'm trying to get in, get out, but I don't know. That's my luck, I have the best bad luck, but that's how it goes.
Speaker 1:So I want to talk about things that are whack in grocery stores. You could let me know if you experienced this. Probably you have nine times out of ten. But like people kind of parking dead center in like an aisle, like a reserve or something, or stopping. It's like yo pick up left or right. This is traffic, you can't just stop in the middle of it. You know what I mean. And like, those people tend to be slow. I don't have an issue with slow walkers, but don't slow and jam up. They have like no sense of urgency. You know, like I have lettuce, I have lemons or whatever. I have stuff that's produce that's aging in real time. Get out of my way. Doesn't have to be like rush, rush, but like don't put a plug in the system. I don't know.
Speaker 1:I saw this one time it wasn't today, but like a whole family had a meeting in the middle of, like the cereal aisle or whatever. I was like if you guys didn't figure out what you were going to get before then, you got a problem. Like just get the same cereal you got two or three weeks ago, no big deal. Let me see what else gets on my nerves here. Like oh, I saw somebody FaceTiming while they were shopping. It's like dude, it's not like a grocery committee, it's not Like straight up and down, like just you should have known what you wanted to get. I literally saw somebody FaceTiming while they were shopping. It was whack. Like hey, what should I get? It was a dude, dude, like honey. Like is this the right thing? Gather your intelligence before you attack the objective, that type of deal.
Speaker 1:So when I've been in the checkout checkout and this is something that is, I think it's unique to me when I've been in a checkout line straight up, every time, like people look at at my groceries and they try to guess what I'm making, it's because, like I have, I don't get like a lot of canned, because I get like a lot of fresh stuff because I cook. That'll be another episode sharing recipes and all that stuff. I'm I'm a pretty good cook. I'm not gonna toot my own horn, but yes, I will. But like people will be like oh you're making you know you must be making roasted chicken with blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. It's like okay, well, you must be not minding your business, anyway. So like my checkout line, stuff is real but I've been in a checkout line where the person in front of me was surprised that it was like their turn. It's like dude, one, two, three go was like their turn. It's like dude, one, two, three go.
Speaker 1:I've been in a line where it's been like a someone that has like coupons. I'm not a big coupon person. I mean not saying that I don't use them, it's like I'm not like I don't hunt for them, because the stuff that I buy, that I purchase, normally there's no coupons for it Because it's like real stuff. So Not hating on like coupon users. I wish there was coupons on Fresh I don't know Letters and mushrooms and chicken, all that stuff that I get. But anyway, like I've seen people have like so many coupons in front of me and then like have expired codes and they're like I don't know what's going on, blah, blah, like well, your coupon game is not 100, like you know what I mean. Anyway.
Speaker 1:So, and one thing that's funny to me too, like that divider, when you put it on the thingy to divide your groceries, like I like how, like I've, straight up, I've been in a situation where someone has put that divider in front of me and I've had like two things and they were like completely opposite. And they were like completely opposite. So they were like mad, passive, aggressive with that divider, like, oh, I don't want them scanning your items and charging me, and blah, blah, blah. It's like come on, man, get out of here. You have a whole bunch of sugar and donuts and garbage. I, I have real vegetables. Like they're not going to mistaken or mistake mistaken and ish, ish, my stuff for your stuff. Like, get out of here. Anyway, I've had people like ask me questions in a cold section. It's like dude, get out of here. Like this is discomfort emotionally, emotionally, I don't want to talk to you in a cold section, I want to be out, but whatever.
Speaker 1:So, like I've had people like what gets on my nerves too is people that block stuff. Like I I can't describe supermarket layouts, but there's frozen aisles and there's doors and stuff like that. Some people like just put their carts in front of the door and they go to another door. It's like yo, man, get out of here. Like, if you block me, you owe me something. You know what I mean. And then they block you and then they're like taking notes or writing the wife or writing the husband like hey, is this what I'm supposed to get? Like I need to come back, or blah, blah, like get something else anyway.
Speaker 1:So it my biggest concern is people that like block what you're trying to do. So if you're trying to get bread and people don't know the type of bread that they want, they block it. It's annoying, but anyway. So like I don't I really don't want to hate on older people or people that are disabled, because I'm disabled right now, but like the people in the carts and they just kind of driving around, it's like yo, man, you gotta know how to drive. You can't hit a corner, block the whole aisle and look at me because I'm walking towards your way and it's like a thing. It's like I gotta wait and you don't know which way to turn and all that stuff.
Speaker 1:But anyway, what else? What else do I hate about? Oh, I, I hate, like I don't want to call names like wegmans, but hey, you know who cares? But like, what is your traffic pattern? Man? Like Wegmans, people are all over the place. I don't know if you have a Wegmans where you are, but I do. And like, wegmans does not have a traffic pattern, it doesn't have a flow. So, wegman executives, I beg you, develop a flow, design your store layout for better flow.
Speaker 1:People love your store and like it's this. You know they have an experience, but your flow is reckless, super duper reckless. Like I know you don't want to go with the traditional aisles and blah blah, but sometimes it works, man, it really works. So I don't know, like, I'm just putting it out there. You could like try to bash my podcast for giving you good advice, but I'm gonna win it at the end. So there's that. So, anyway, let me know what your supermarket or I don't know whatever people call it, people call it store. Let me know what your store issues are and let's see if they align with mine. So, come on, you know, sometimes going to the store is whack Anyway. So Okay, that's all I got. Take it easy.