Medium Lady Reads

Episode 18: Read This, Not That

April 08, 2024 Jillian O'Keefe and Erin Vandeven
Episode 18: Read This, Not That
Medium Lady Reads
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Medium Lady Reads
Episode 18: Read This, Not That
Apr 08, 2024
Jillian O'Keefe and Erin Vandeven

Hello, Hi, and welcome to Medium Lady Reads this is episode 18, “Read This, Not That.”

In this episode, Jillian and Erin are having a "Read This, Not That" book conversation. Read This, Not That is all about sharing book substitutions—recommending books for each person’s reading taste. It's about acknowledging that not every book is for everyone and offering alternatives that might resonate more with listeners. There’s a lot to learn when you don’t like a book and hopefully, by the end of this episode, you’ll feel less dismayed when you close the cover on a 2-star read and feel excited to get to the heart of what didn’t work for you so you can make another choice for your next read.


If you have a “Read This, Not That” book recommendation, tag Jillian and Erin (@jillianfindinghappy and @medium.lady) on Instagram!


In This Episode:

  • A staple of every episode, the ladies check in with each other to see how their reading is going.
  • The ladies dive into the meat of the episode discussing what Read This, Not That means to them.
  • Jillian & Erin share their process for rating a book they don’t feel great about.
  • Why is it important to consider substitutions when reading a book you didn’t love? The ladies both answer this question.
  • It’s time to dive into the substitutions that Erin and Jillian are recommending. Each woman shares 2 books they didn’t love, and 2 they’d recommend instead.
  • The ladies share what they learned about their reading tastes in planning for this episode and the books they mentioned.
  • What would Instagram make you buy? Erin and Jillian share what Instagram is influencing them to buy or do.
  • Jillian mentions that she wants a hammock for her birthday, this is the one she wants.
  • Finally, Erin and Jillian share what is on their library holds list.


Books Mentioned:

  • Heartstopper Series by Alice Oseman
  • Canadian Boyfriend by Jenny Holiday
  • Good Material by Dolly Alderton
  • Bride by Ali Hazelwood
  • Talking at Night by Claire Daverley
  • Normal People by Sally Rooney
  • Homecoming by Kate Morton
  • The Secret Book of Flora Lee by Patti Callahan Henry
  • Iron Flame by Rebecca Yarros 
  • The Best Lies by Sarah Lyu
  • Take Me Home Tonight by Morgan Matson
  • Drive Your Own Darn Bus by Julia Kristina
  • You Are a Badass by Jen Sincero
  • Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World that Can’t Stop Talking by Susan Cain
  • The Way I Used to Be by Amber Smith
  • Looking for Alaska by John Green
  • The Mystery Guest by Nita Prose 
  • Legendborn by Tracy Deonn
  • The Seven Skins of Esther Wilding by Holly Ringland



Show Notes Transcript

Hello, Hi, and welcome to Medium Lady Reads this is episode 18, “Read This, Not That.”

In this episode, Jillian and Erin are having a "Read This, Not That" book conversation. Read This, Not That is all about sharing book substitutions—recommending books for each person’s reading taste. It's about acknowledging that not every book is for everyone and offering alternatives that might resonate more with listeners. There’s a lot to learn when you don’t like a book and hopefully, by the end of this episode, you’ll feel less dismayed when you close the cover on a 2-star read and feel excited to get to the heart of what didn’t work for you so you can make another choice for your next read.


If you have a “Read This, Not That” book recommendation, tag Jillian and Erin (@jillianfindinghappy and @medium.lady) on Instagram!


In This Episode:

  • A staple of every episode, the ladies check in with each other to see how their reading is going.
  • The ladies dive into the meat of the episode discussing what Read This, Not That means to them.
  • Jillian & Erin share their process for rating a book they don’t feel great about.
  • Why is it important to consider substitutions when reading a book you didn’t love? The ladies both answer this question.
  • It’s time to dive into the substitutions that Erin and Jillian are recommending. Each woman shares 2 books they didn’t love, and 2 they’d recommend instead.
  • The ladies share what they learned about their reading tastes in planning for this episode and the books they mentioned.
  • What would Instagram make you buy? Erin and Jillian share what Instagram is influencing them to buy or do.
  • Jillian mentions that she wants a hammock for her birthday, this is the one she wants.
  • Finally, Erin and Jillian share what is on their library holds list.


Books Mentioned:

  • Heartstopper Series by Alice Oseman
  • Canadian Boyfriend by Jenny Holiday
  • Good Material by Dolly Alderton
  • Bride by Ali Hazelwood
  • Talking at Night by Claire Daverley
  • Normal People by Sally Rooney
  • Homecoming by Kate Morton
  • The Secret Book of Flora Lee by Patti Callahan Henry
  • Iron Flame by Rebecca Yarros 
  • The Best Lies by Sarah Lyu
  • Take Me Home Tonight by Morgan Matson
  • Drive Your Own Darn Bus by Julia Kristina
  • You Are a Badass by Jen Sincero
  • Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World that Can’t Stop Talking by Susan Cain
  • The Way I Used to Be by Amber Smith
  • Looking for Alaska by John Green
  • The Mystery Guest by Nita Prose 
  • Legendborn by Tracy Deonn
  • The Seven Skins of Esther Wilding by Holly Ringland



- Jillian, I did want to ask you, like how do you feel when you close a book and you're like, oh, I won't be rating this very high.

What's the general emotional vibe? - My first reaction is, oh, God, this book was, I don't want to say, I usually don't say terrible, but oh, I did not enjoy this book and that's my first reaction.

But then I automatically start thinking of the author and I think about leaving a negative review for the author to see.

And it makes me sad because just because it wasn't a book for me, doesn't mean it wasn't a book for someone else and I don't want to wreck the rating for that author.

However, I typically don't let that stop me because I do want people to have honest reviews to read.

I don't want them to have just the good ones.

People need to have a mix, but that is the flow of my natural reaction when I close a book that I didn't love. (upbeat music) - Hello, hi, and welcome to Medium Lady Reads.

This is episode 18.

Read this, not that.

Hello, everyone.

I'm Jillian and Instagram content strategist for Bookish People, a mom to two, based in Buffalo, New York. - And I'm Erin, a mom of three, a hospital administrator in Ontario, Canada and the host and founder of the Medium Lady Community and Medium Lady Talks podcast.

Together, we're thrilled to bring you another episode of Medium Lady Reads, a podcast about reading as self-care, a passionate love for the public library and all of our thoughts and opinions on book culture, having its moments.

Hello, everyone.

Welcome to today's episode, Hi, Jillian. - Hi, Erin. - Today's episode is, Read This, Not That.

And we're kind of experimenting with our spin on how to perceive the books that you read that might kind of get a lower ranking and you're sort of like, yeah, you know.

So we're gonna talk about some books that we gave a lower ranking and we're gonna say, Read This, Not That.

But it's really about, Read This, Not That for Us.

It's like deeply personal kind of reflection.

But before we do that, we're gonna do our reading check-in.

So Jillian, I'll ask you, how's your reading life been going? - So good. - Hi. - Nice.

Yeah, I am nothing but happy with what, with the way things have been going.

I have been reading some graphic novels and I'm enjoying it.

I'm reading the Heart Stopper series, which if you haven't read, I highly recommend. - It's been on my shelf or forever. - Oh, God, you gotta read them.

They're so good.

And they're so quick.

I read one in like two hours, probably less than that if I, you know, didn't have kids interrupting me.

They're so good and they're like making my reading even more exciting because when I finish a book and I don't know what to jump into, I've been grabbing for these graphic novels and it's giving me something new and exciting.

So I am very pleased with my reading. - I feel like 2024 is gonna be the year of the graphic novel for you. - It is because so far I've read three.

I mean, which isn't a ton, but-- - Well, we're only in March though. - Yeah, that's true.

And compared to 2023 where I read zero. (laughing) Yeah, I think so.

And I'm, which is weird.

When I was growing up, my dad was really into comics and like Archie and Veronica and everything.

And I never really was into it.

We would go to the newsstand and my dad would get the paper and he would let us pick out a comic and I would grab something, but I never loved it.

I always felt like it gave me a headache. - Mm-hmm. - The reading the news print like that.

But I am loving graphic novels, so-- - That's amazing. - I'm gonna embrace it. - That's awesome.

I love that. - How's your reading going? - My reading is going well.

I find that this like, I was reflecting to you and I think I texted our buddy reads.

I said, "I feel like the weekdays are for starting books and the weekends are for finishing books.

Like I find myself looking forward to the weekend to finish some books."

But this week I started maybe three new books and I definitely won't finish them this weekend.

So it'll be kind of like a dabbling week for reading but I'm feeling so much better than last episode because I had a bunch of books kind of hanging over my head and I just sat down and I read them. - That's great. - And I had a great time reading all these books that I really, really wanted to read.

I didn't have to give them up early.

I read Canadian boyfriend, good material.

I read, oh, bride.

And I'm just like, having a great time.

Four star books, four point five star books. - I was gonna say, those are some three good books right there.

I haven't read, bride or good material yet but I know that they're received a lot of good hype.

So that's awesome. - I will refrain my opinions on bride.

I really wanna know, I wanna let me know when you're done reading it and maybe we'll bring that reaction to the show. - Okay, maybe that's when we do our alley hazelwood episode. - I think it's probably for the best.

It's a good time to do it.

Yeah, definitely, definitely.

All right, so let's kick things off to the meat of the episode by talking about, read this, not that and we'll define our theme for today.

Read this, not that.

Jillian, what does this mean to you? - So read this, not that is all about sharing book substitutions, recommending books we enjoyed as alternatives to one we didn't connect with.

It's about finding the right fit for your reading taste.

It basically, it comes down to, this didn't resonate with me, but this book did, they're similar, have at it.

With the caveat, knowing that just because it wasn't for me, doesn't mean it's not gonna be for you.

We're not gonna juck your yum here.

We're just sharing, as Aaron said earlier, we're just sharing the books that we resonated with the most and what you, what we want to share with you that we liked over other books. - Yeah, and we wanna acknowledge that you're listening to this podcast, hopefully because your taste aligns with ours and you know that we're a trusted space where you can come and get book recommendations.

So acknowledging that not every book is for everyone, we also wanna offer alternatives that might resonate more with our listeners.

And also there's a lot to learn when you don't like a book.

Hopefully by the end of the episode, we want you to feel less dismayed when you close the cover on a two-star read and feel excited to get to the heart of what didn't work for you so you can make another choice for your next read.

Jillian, I did wanna ask you like, how do you feel when you close a book and you're like, oh, I won't be rating this very high.

What's the general like emotional vibe? - My first reaction is, oh God, this book was, I don't wanna say, I usually don't say terrible, but oh, I did not enjoy this book and that's my first reaction.

But then I automatically start thinking of the author and I think about leaving a negative review for the author to see and it makes me sad because just because it wasn't a book for me, doesn't mean it wasn't a book for someone else and I don't wanna wreck the rating for that author.

However, I typically don't let that stop me because I do want people to have honest reviews to read.

I don't want them to have just the good ones.

People need to have a mix.

But that is the flow of my natural reaction when I close a book that I didn't love. - Sometimes I have this reaction where I'm like, oh, I didn't like that.

What do I even like?

I feel this sort of like, I feel sometimes, especially if it's a book that other people really like and I didn't like it, I'm sort of sometimes feel like what's wrong with me that I didn't like that other people like? - Absolutely. - I mean, I'm laughing at myself, but it can kind of be a downer.

It can sometimes make me not wanna reach for next, my next book and I never want that to happen 'cause then if I'm not reaching for my next book, that's always the trickiest spot as a reader is when you close your book and you have to pick something else from your endless TBR. (laughing) - Oh man.

So Aaron, why do you think it's important for readers to consider substitutions when a book doesn't resonate with them? - Yeah, so sometimes a book just doesn't click and that as we said, it can be a real downer in your reading life.

Most of us are out here scrolling books to Graham or book talk.

We're enjoying book content.

We love adding to our TBRs, sharing recommendations, joining book clubs.

We love doing all of those things because we wanna feel great about the books that we're reading.

And there's nothing quite like the reader high of a five star read, you know, like I just shared in the reading check in.

I've read three books that I would recommend to pretty much anybody and rated really highly to making me feel really great about my reading life.

Usually though, however, unless it's a reread, you really never know how much you're gonna love a book.

That's part of the adventure of reading.

When you close a book and you think, I didn't like that or some more dramatic experience, like, you know, oh, I have to throw this book across the room, you know, like, we have that sometimes in our buddy reads group. - Yeah. - It's not always a feeling that leaves you excited about your reading habit or how you're spending your time.

I will say the flip side to that is if you're reading it with a buddy read and then you can hop in the chat and dish, that is a very delightful experience.

I'm just gonna say. - It is, it's so fun.

What we wanna share with you today is a way to rebound from the experience of reading a book you didn't enjoy and how you can use that as a springboard into your next book and to also see lower rated books as an opportunity to embrace your own reading profile reader, know thyself.

Jillian, do you have any other thoughts on this?

Like, why do you want to encourage readers to embrace our, read this not that philosophy? - I don't know if there are readers who are like me, but I'm assuming that if I'm this way, others must be two.

But I want readers to remove the guilt.

They feel from choosing a book that they don't really enjoy and they wanna put down.

Because I so, so often will grab a book, start reading it and the reason I don't put it down is for two things.

One, there are countless reviews saying that it's positive, that it's a really good book and that I should read it.

Or two, I keep hoping and waiting for the good part to happen or to really fall in love with this book and that has happened before.

There's been a couple of books where the first 150 pages were terrible or I didn't enjoy.

And eventually got to the point where I was loving it.

But I want other readers to think that if in that moment, they're reading this book, they're not loving the book.

And instead of wasting time, I want them to stop the feeling the guilt and just put it down.

No, that book will still be there if they wanna read it in the future.

It's not going anywhere that if maybe it just wasn't the book for them and I just, so that's kind of what I want to people to get out of this is that it's okay to choose to have a not this book and not feel guilty about it. - Yeah, I love that. - All right, let's dive into some of our own book substitutions, Erin, would you like to start? - Yes, I would love to start.

So my first book is an example of a read this not that that taught me a lot about how I need to feel when a book is over.

So my read this is "Talking at Night" by Claire D'Averley and my not that is "Normal People" by Sally Rooney.

And I feel like that's like really awkward to say, like read this not that, "Talking at Night" versus "Normal People" by Sally Rooney.

Jillian, have you read these books? - I've read "Talking at Night" and loved it.

I have not read "Normal People" and based on your thoughts on it and a couple of other reviews that I've heard, I probably won't read it. - So I finished "Talking at Night" earlier this year.

Jillian, actually, you recommended this book to me for my 12 books, 12 friends one year challenge that I do.

I read this book, I think I must have read it in January.

And when I closed it, I thought, wow, I wish I had skipped "Normal People" and read this instead.

And here's why.

"Talking at Night" and "Normal People" are telling really close to the same story.

Here's where they line up.

Both books center around a couple who experience a parallel coming of age story.

Both characters are processing or experiencing individual trauma.

Both characters come together and drift apart.

They experience other partners over time.

The book kind of spans maybe like a 20 year period.

But here's why I didn't like "Normal People".

The trauma is trauma with a capital T.

The characters make a lot of self-destructive decisions.

The ending was sort of happy, but not really.

I closed the book without a sense of hope or inspiration for what the characters went through.

Like, I sort of left with this feeling of like, what was it all for?

And I didn't have any of that experience with "Talking at Night".

So, listen, here's what I want you to pay attention to.

Why did you not like a book?

This helps you look for the opposite or different in your next choice.

It can also help you pay attention to when a book is being reviewed or how a book is being reviewed.

So you can decide if it's right for you before you pick it up.

"Normal People" by Sally Rooney was such a buzzy book for such a long time.

When I finally read it, I sort of thought, what for?

"Talking at Night" is the same book, but without the things that I listed here.

The trauma is not gratuitous.

The characters evolve in a way where they learn about themselves.

They grow and the ending is very redemptive and hopeful.

Okay, Jillian, that was a lot on one book.

What do you think about my read this, not that? - Love it.

Like I said, I haven't read "Normal People", but I think you did a great job of summarizing the great things about "Talking at Night" and enticing people to read "Talking at Night" over "Normal People".

So, go get "Talking at Night". (laughs) - Both books also are set in the UK.

"Normal People" is set in Ireland and "Normal People" is set in Norwich in Yorkshire.

Anyway, that's another way that they were similar.

British authors.

Okay, Jillian, your turn.

What is your pitch for?

Read this, not that. - Okay, for me, a book I didn't quite connect with was Homecoming by Kate Morton.

I've mentioned this a few times on this podcast.

I feel sort of bad, but I really, really didn't resonate with it.

While I appreciated the mystery and the plot of the book, I found that the storyline dragged quite a bit.

As an alternative, I would suggest the secret book "A Flora Lee" by Patty Henry.

They both have the mystery elements embedded in them.

The secret book "A Flora Lee" is just faster moving.

Here's where there are some similarities.

Both books center around families and some sort of family secret.

And both uncover things about the past that are uncovered by the people in the present time.

What I mean is, something was lost in the past and in present time, it would be like me going up into my attic and finding something that my grandmother had uncovered or lost at the time.

And here's why I didn't like Homecoming.

Homecoming has a great story behind it.

It really does.

And it really, there are people who love it.

It's well reviewed by many people on Goodreads.

But there's just so much book in between the greatness.

So any of the heightened moments take forever to come around and are few and far between.

So it just, it drags and it doesn't happen quickly enough.

I feel like the book could probably be maybe a hundred fewer pages and do it justice. - It's a bit of a chunker, isn't it? - Yeah, it's pretty thick. - Hmm, I knew exactly what you meant when you said there's too much book between the greatness.

There are a lot of books out there like this.

And I think that's something we would revisit is like too much book, too much book, not enough greatness, not enough awesomeness.

The book I thought of. - Uh oh, we're gonna throw something in under the box. - Stephanie Cunningham puts some ear muffs on.

It starts with iron and ends with flame.

I'm not gonna say which specific book I'm talking about.

And the author's name rhymes with Sparrow.

But that book is a lot of book.

There's a lot of book in that, in that book. - I haven't read that one yet.

Let your prepared now. (laughing) You're prepared, you're prepared.

But I love that, that resonates.

Sometimes it's hard to know until you're in it.

But you can sort of skim reviews if they're spoiler free to say, I felt like the plot dragged.

Or an epic family saga.

Sometimes you're like, hmm, not all books like that.

I can think of family sagas that are pretty populsive.

But this is great.

And I'm not read either of these books, but I will be putting the secret book of Florelly on my TBR. - That was a good book.

I really enjoyed that one.

Okay, Erin, did you have another book substitution you wanted to share? - Absolutely.

This is a book that I recently closed and I thought, man, I did not like this book.

And I shared a little bit on Instagram stories, kind of tried to unpack in real time why I didn't like it.

So this book I struggled to connect with was called The Best Lies.

It's by Sarah Liu.

I picked this book up as part of the fold 2024 challenge.

The fold stands for Festival of Literary Diversity.

I've been doing this challenge through the whole year.

And the March prompt was, why a mystery thriller by a racialized author?

And so I thought, huh, I wanna find something.

I'm gonna find a racialized author.

I've never read before.

And the fold website had suggested a few authors, but I'd read them.

And I didn't wanna go for something that was really busy.

I wanted to find my own author.

I wanted to find my own book.

And so this taught me a lot about the elements that I need to avoid in my reading life, especially when I reach for YA fiction.

As an alternative, I recommend Take Me Home Tonight by Morgan Mattson.

This book is not mystery thriller, but it does feature the ups and downs of teenage friendship and will make you smile instead of cringe.

Here's the book similarities.

Both books center around two characters and their teenage friendship.

Both books are YA fiction.

Both books explore the challenges of friendship when you want the same thing, but also kind of want different things.

But here's why I didn't like the best lies.

The relationship between the two girls is very toxic and destructive.

The driving force behind their friendship is trauma bonding over abusive situations in their domestic homes.

The writing was very repetitive and the inner dialogue was one-dimensional.

This is a chronic pitfall of YA, and this is sometimes where somebody might say, yeah, but the writer's not writing for you.

They're writing for a less mature reader, and I totally get that.

That being said, I did feel like Take Me Home Tonight by Morgan Madsen is just a delightful experience of reading about teenage girls.

And teenage girls get a bad rap.

So I love to read stories about teenage girls where I'm like, dang, teenage girls are awesome.

Yeah.

They're just the best.

They kick ass, right?

And that's this book.

So I want to remind listeners that I didn't enjoy my reading experience, but it doesn't mean the book is objectively bad.

And I don't know, Jillian, you might disagree, but I think it's really hard to get consensus on whether something is objectively good or objectively bad when it comes to books.

All we can rely on is our subjective experience.

And when we look as readers at our subjective experience with curiosity, we can learn so much about ourselves.

And we don't have to gain fodder for judging others for liking what they like.

As Jillian said earlier in the episode, this is not about yucking your yum.

This is about understanding what is your yum and defining that best as you can.

Yeah.

I feel like I'm really on a roll with the substitution thing, Jillian.

What's your next pitch?

We need a longer episode.

[LAUGHTER] What's your next pitch, Jillian?

All right.

My next comparison is the thing in the personal development genre.

For me, a book I found disappointing was "Drive Your Own Darn Bus" by Julia Christina.

While I appreciated the premise behind the book, I found it completely redundant.

So many other books have been written about similar topics and written better.

As a substitute, I suggest you are a badass by Jensen Cero.

And I know that that book has been wildly loved for many years now, but I don't think there's any reason to not recommend it again because it is that good.

It does share a similar message, but it is uplifting and inspiring.

It has been a while since I've read you are a badass, but I remember feeling when I finished it, like I could take on anything.

So there's never a time when you don't want to feel that way, right?

[LAUGHTER] Here's where there are similarities.

Both cover topics surrounding self-sabotage and overcoming the things that hold you back from taking action on your dreams.

I think the difference is there that Jensen Cero is just much better at doing that.

Now, it could be that I've read so many personal development books.

That's why I didn't love "Drive Your Own Darn Bus" but I don't know.

I just think "Jend" does a better job of writing it.

As I said, it was hugely redundant.

And I've read, as I said also, that there are a lot-- I've read a lot of self-help and personal development books.

And then this one just felt like it had been said before.

I realized that books can have a similar topic to each other, but the way that Julia Christina wrote her book, it felt like the same book I've read before.

It didn't feel like there was a unique take that would make her books stand out.

Even if you read two books that are almost exactly the same, there is usually something about them that makes them stand out, makes them more unique than the other one.

And there was just, for me, there was nothing like that in "Drive Your Own Darn Bus."

Sometimes it's point of view.

Yeah, this is true.

Sometimes I do think that even for myself is like when I want to put myself out there, am I putting out my point of view or am I buffering my point of view to the point where it can be absorbed and heard by more people?

But then I erase my own voice.

It sounds like-- and I haven't read this book-- but would you agree that the voice of the book, the point of view of the book was stronger in "You Are a Badass" and resonated more with you.

And the point of view in "Drive Your Own Darn Bus" was perhaps lacking a point of view to the point where it felt like every other book.

Yeah, absolutely agree with that.

Interesting.

I mean, you read a lot of personal development.

I think you're a very good measure of what books are good and what books aren't.

Yeah, and that's sort of why I found it disappointing because it had been one person-- the person who recommended it to me is someone that I usually trust with book recommendations.

Not that that means anything.

I mean, look, we recommend books to Steph Cunningham all the time.

And she comes back with her threes, but she still loves us.

But-- Yeah.

Yeah.

[LAUGHTER] I just did not get-- maybe it was the time of my life where I was, too.

That could have been a difference with-- I know with you are a badass, we had just moved into this house, I feel like.

And I was really getting my business up and running.

And I was looking for something to inspire me.

So that could be part of it, too, is where I was in my life.

But-- I'm sure that's a big part of it, for sure.

Either way, I would choose you are a badass over "Drive Your Own Darn Bus" any day.

You know, the funny thing is I've never heard of this book.

But I had a guest.

I was interviewing for Medium Lady Talks a week ago.

And she said, you know, it's just like you are a badass.

And I was like, what do you mean?

And she's like, that book, you are a badass.

And I was like, no, I've never heard of it.

And she was like, oh my gosh, you have to be-- You've never heard of you are a badass?

Oh my goodness.

I haven't heard of it.

No, but it's on my TBR now.

Yeah.

I mean, that's a buzzy book.

Maybe not as buzzy anymore, because it's quite a few years old.

But when it came out, it was huge.

I miss the buzz.

I miss the buzz.

Just goes to show.

Well, we're probably in a different space in your life.

I feel like you might have been-- Oh, maybe.

It might have been even pre-backed.

Oh, you think?

OK, I'm looking it up now.

I mean, this yellow cover looks kind of familiar.

2013.

So William was born in 2013.

So you were just in a different place in your life?

You're right.

I totally was.

Fascinating.

Fascinating.

So after spending some time picking books to compare, I did realize that I don't like books that have a slow climax.

If I'm reading a mystery or a thriller, I like there to be a lot of action throughout, not just in sparse patches.

As for personal development, the biggest thing I learned was that it's OK to DNF a book.

I actually recently put down a book, Quiet by Susan Cain, I believe.

It was my first DNF of the year.

And I felt really proud of that, because someone, again, recommended it to me that I trust.

And I was not a big fan of the book.

And I normally will just grin and bear it, and I did it, and I put it down, and I was really happy about that.

And I felt sort of proud, which is kind of funny to think about a DNF, but I did.

I did feel proud.

And plus there are loads of other books to read.

And it'll be there if I ever decide I want to read it in the future.

Absolutely.

Aaron, did you learn anything about your style of reading and reading tastes?

I mean, I think I learned that I have to be careful with YA fiction.

I've read a lot of amazing YA fiction, and that probably biased me a little bit to think that it's like, just grab it.

And all YA is fun, all the way.

But if I think about that book, it also reminds me of another book that we read in our buddy read called The Way I Used to Be, which is also YA fiction, and we also found to be really problematic and not a super fun hang.

So that's the one thing is not all YA fiction is created equally.

The other thing I've realized is that I should DNF books where trauma comes in with a capital T, and especially when it's like non-redemptive, or it doesn't really appear to be contributing to character development.

So sometimes-- and I think this is probably hard to know until I'm partway through a book.

But I think if I notice that a book is more plot-driven than character-driven, but the plot is driven by individual trauma that I should walk away.

Because I think trauma for the sake of plot is not for me, but trauma for the sake of character development is something that I usually really enjoy.

And that's what I'm taking away from this exercise.

I love it.

It makes a lot of sense.

All right.

Our next segment is one that we haven't done for a few episodes, but it felt timely seeing as we both accelerate our birthdays in the month of April.

And we're bound to have a few bookish items on our wishlist, Aaron.

What has Instagram made you want lately?

Or really, what have you been wanting lately?

I mean, Instagram usually is always influencing me to read.

So I'm always updating my TBR because of Instagram.

But right now, what I want is an experience more than an item.

And this is related to Instagram.

So I don't know, Jillian, if you remember, probably about a year ago, there was this trend where, either from Mother's Day or their birthdays or their anniversaries, women and men would go into the bookstore with their partner.

Their partner would time them for three minutes, five minutes, and they would be able to grab all the books they could carry off the shelf.

And that would be their gift.

And it was sort of like the partner was following the person around the store as they were sort of doing like a supermarket sweep of the shelves.

I do.

I do remember all that.

And I felt like I really wanted that experience.

But I didn't want the hesitation of making other people pay for the books that I want to read.

So what I'm going to do for my birthday this year is an experience inspired by Instagram.

I'm going to go to a bookstore with my best friends.

I'm going to give them $50, and I'm going to have them shop for me.

So I think this is just like my own fun twist on that five minutes to shop challenge.

Again, I feel bad like telling my friends, find a present for me in the store.

But I feel like if I give them the money, and then I watch Ponder and choose over what they think will be a fit for me, I think that that is going to be really fun.

And I'll try to kind of capture some of that on video.

So maybe I can share it on socials later.

It is honestly more fun for me if I pay for their choices.

That sounds like so, so, so much fun.

I would love that.

And if I were closer, I would totally take you up on that because I don't know-- I have no idea where I would start to pick for you, but I think I'd have fun.

Well, maybe the next time we're in person together, we can duplicate the challenge.

We can do it for each other.

Exactly.

All right, Jillian, what does Instagram made you want lately?

So everyone and their mother is out on their hammocks right now, maybe not necessarily in our neck of the woods because it is still very cold.

But there are so many people who are out on the West Coast and in the South who are on their hammocks, and all I want, and all I can picture myself in this summer is a hammock.

So for my birthday, I'm asking for a standalone hammock because we don't really have trees that would be great to support it.

Plus, I don't know that you can get a big enough one for my size if you get a tree one, but you can get standalone ones that'll be the perfect size for me.

So-- Awesome.

I am so excited.

I've mentioned it to Shameless, but I need to remind him because I'm sure-- I mean, I have 17, 18 more days to my birthday.

So he has time.

But yeah, I want a hammock.

Jillian, you'll have to link the hammock that you chose in the comments.

OK, I will.

All right, now we're onto our holds list at the library.

It's our final wrap-up section.

It always is my favorite time of the show.

Jillian, what's on your holds list?

So right now, I have three books waiting for me, Looking for Alaska by John Green, which is our buddy read for this month.

And I have to tell you that every time I say the name, Looking for Alaska, I want to call it baked Alaska.

For no other reason-- Looking for baked Alaska?

For no other reason than it just keeps popping in my head.

I have no idea what the book's about yet, but it's certainly not because of the book.

It's just my brain.

Oh my gosh.

And then the other two books that I have are the Heart Stopper Volumes 4 and 5.

I still need three.

I'm waiting for that to show up at the library.

It says in transit.

So it'll be there eventually.

That's it.

I don't have a whole lot, even on my holds list, at the library waiting for me, because I've been doing such a good job of not picking books just because they look pretty or just because they're new releases.

So what I've been getting out, I can keep longer, which means that I don't have as much turnover as I was doing last year with the new releases.

That's kind of exciting for me, too.

That's awesome.

All right, what's on your holds list?

So because this is Episode 18, it's an even's episode.

I'll share what's on my digital holds on Libby.

All of my digital holds look like they're about four weeks away from coming due, which is just fine with me.

I have lots of exciting books in my hands right now.

But waiting for me is Mystery Guest by Neeta Pro's.

That's the follow up to The Made.

Legend-born, the first in the Legend-born series, which is by Tracy Deon.

This Legend-born book, Jillian, I don't know if you've seen it.

It's everywhere.

Every book, talk, books, to Graham account that I really enjoy always recommends this fantasy fiction book.

So I'm excited to read that.

I haven't even heard of it.

It has a beautiful black girl on the cover and reds and greens and blues.

I think it's a really cool fantasy fiction novel that's gotten a ton of buzz.

And then the final book I have coming up in the next couple weeks is called The Seven Skins of Esther Wilding.

This was from my 12 books, 12 Friends from last year.

And I can't for the life of me remember who recommended it.

I've had this book on hold, I think, for at least six months.

So that's what's coming up on digital hold.

And I am OK to just wait for those books to arrive when they arrive, because I've got enough on the go right now.

OK, that wraps up episode 18 of Medium Lady Reads.

Remember, if a book doesn't resonate with you, there's always another one waiting to be discovered.

Medium Lady Reads is a spinoff of the Medium Lady Talks podcast and Instagram community.

You can find Jillian at Jillian Finding Happy, and you can find me, Erin@medium.lady, for more of our current reads and other shenanigans.

And of course, you can follow the podcast itself on Instagram @mediumladyreads.

If you like this episode, please share it with another bookish friend or post on Instagram and be sure to tag us.

We would be tickled pink to hear from you.

Thank you for listening.

I'm your host Jillian.

And I'm your other host, Erin.

Until next time, we hope that your holds arrive quickly.

And your next book finds you right when you need it most.

We'll talk to you soon.

Bye.

Bye.

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