Episode 55: Mostly Vibes Not Much Plot

Hello, hi, and “Welcome back to Medium Lady Reads! This is Episode 55, “Mostly Vibes Not Much Plot” We’re so glad you are here! Spring is in the air — or at least we're willing it there — and we are back with books, opinions, and a little bit of our signature chaos.

We have a solid lineup for you today. Erin and Jillian are both coming in with reviews, they've got thoughts on the holds list, and later in the episode we want to talk about something all readers are obsessed with but we’ve never asked… why do we count our books? Like, what is that actually about? We'll get into it.

Mentioned In This Episode:

• The ladies check in to see how their reading is going and even mention a few books in the process.
• If you’re wondering what types of books the ladies include this week, don’t worry because we share the deets.
• Ready or not, it’s time to add 6 new books to your TBR. Jillian and Erin share 3 new books each.
• Up next is hot takes, and we’re talking book counts in this episode. 
• It’s time for the holds list – Erin and Jillian share what’s on their holds list and what’s up next for them in the book world.

Books Mentioned In This Episode:

• Impossible Creatures by Katherine Rundell 
• Maisie Dobbs by Jacqueline Winspear
• The White Hot by Quiara Alegría Hudes
• The Book of Lost Hours by Hayley Gelfuso
• The Time Travelers Wife by Audrey Niffenegger
• The Ministry of Time by Kaliane Bradley
• The Tell by Amy Griffin 
• All Systems Red by Martha Wells
• The Bright Years by Sarah Damoff
• Tiny Experiments by Anne-Laure Le Cunff
• Little One by Olivia Muenter
• Anatomy of an Alibi by Ashley Elston
• The Correspondent by Virginia Evans
• Just Friends by Haley Pham
• And Now Back to You by B.K. Borison

Transcript

MLR 55 Mostly Vibes Not Much Plot  •  00:00
[MUSIC PLAYING] Hello, hi, and welcome back to Medium Lady Reads. This is Episode 55, and I'm so glad you're here. Spring is in the air, or at least we're willing it that way. And we are back in with books, opinions, and a little bit of our signature chaos, as always. Hi, everyone. I'm Jillian, a fellowship program coordinator, a mom of two, based in Buffalo, New York. And I'm Erin, a mom of three, a hospital administrator in Ontario, Canada, and the host and founder of the Medium Lady Community and Medium Lady Talks podcast. And together we're thrilled to bring you another episode of Medium Lady Reads, a podcast about reading as self-care, passionate love for the public library, and all of our thoughts and opinions on book culture, having its moment. Hi, everyone. And if you're new here, welcome. Pull up a blanket, grab your beverage of choice, and know that you've landed in a very good place. And if you're a returning listener, hey, friend, welcome back. We've missed you. We've got a solid lineup for you today. Erin and I are both coming in with reviews. We've got thoughts on the hold list. And later in the episode, we want to talk about something. All readers are obsessed with, but we've never asked. Why do we count our books? Like, what is that actually about? We'll get into it. Hi, Erin. It's good to see you. How's your reading and life going? I mean, it's going fine. I actually feel like it was the blink of an eye since we last recorded. So I really have very few life updates, which is funny. It was really great to relaunch Medium Lady Reads. I got a bunch of people saying, oh, we're so glad you're back. Yay. Oh, I didn't know you're back. That's great. Very exciting. So that was a very sweet kind of reintroduction for Medium Lady Reads after a winter hiatus. I'm really, honestly, Jillian, I'm just putting one day in front of the other. You know, I'm just here, mostly vibes, not much plot. But Jillian, you have the big life updates for this week. So let me get through the rest of my updates so we can hear because I'm sure everybody notice the slight change in your signature intro. For my reading life, I've been doing a lot more audiobooks lately. Even if I'm into a book on print or digital, I will find myself grabbing the audio version as well, or listening to a few chapters on Spotify before I can kind of get back to sit down and read. And that's really working for me in my reading life. So I'm not going to question it too much. My current read is an audiobook, "Impossible Creatures by Catherine Rendell." This is middle grade fiction, but it is so excellent. It is blowing my mind. This book is excellent. If you're a fan of Narnia, if you're a fan of the Nevermore series, you will love this. The story features Christopher and Mal, there are two kids on a journey to discover what is leaking magic from the archipelago of a cluster of hidden magical islands on the earth. But that's my updates. Short and sweet for me, but Jillian, how about you? How is your life and reading going? - It's going huge life up, Jade. I started my job on the ninth and things are going pretty well. - Yay. - I won't lie. My first day was a little hard. It was a huge adjustment for me, but each subsequent day has gotten better. And now I have a full week under my belt. My family is also adjusting, but it seems to all be going well. So if you set me well wishes, I appreciate them all. And you can continue to send them because it is still new. It's still fresh and I'm only going into my second week. - Totally. It's like a new day, a new week, a new month, a new year. - Yeah. - Yeah. - I am so happy for you. I'm so proud of you. I know that first day was hard. And I think it's really good that you're being honest and transparent about that. Like turning the page on a new chapter in a book is easy. Turning a page on a new chapter in life is incredibly challenging. It takes all of the strengths that you have. And you are amazing and resilient. And this team is so lucky to have you, but I know. I know it's like, it's not easy. - Well, thank you for saying all that. That's very sweet. It's been a lot of learning. And it's tough because I work with fellows, which are doctors, if you don't know, because I didn't really know that. They're doctors going into a sub-specialty. So they're learning things like, 'cause I work in pediatrics. So it's pick you. (laughs) Yeah, it's all like going into critical care or allergy and immunology and endocrinology. Those sorts of things. At least in the States, when it comes to matching and choosing a school, it only happens once a year. And that time doesn't happen until September. So the stuff I'm learning now, I mean, there's plenty to learn now. But then in September, it's gonna be a whole new job, essentially. So it's gonna be challenging, but I have a wonderful trainer who I've been working with. And I'm getting the hang of it, solely but surely. That's awesome. And by September, you'll be six months in. So you'll at least have the like, this is where I park. This is where I put my bag. This is how I eat lunch. This is my email. This is how all these things work. And then that big upheaval in September, it'll be like your tax season. Yeah, yes, yes. Yeah, exactly like stuff. It'll be like that. And you'll just like protect your life and you'll make changes. And yeah, but you can kind of see it on the horizon, which is also a little intimidating to be like, just so you know everything's gonna change in September. Okay, fine, no big deal. Cool, cool, cool. I didn't know you were working in pediatrics. That's so exciting. Yeah, you'll be in the hospital in pediatrics. So anything you ever have a question you don't want to ask, you can ask me anytime. All right, I will do that. I appreciate that. I mean, the fun thing is that like, fellows are learners and you're learning too. And so that's kind of has to be like a healthy environment for people to figure things out. Yeah, and the ones that I've met so far have been wonderful, very kind and you know, welcoming. So I have no complaints. Fabulous, fabulous. All right, so my reading update, reading hasn't been as plentiful with working a job out of the home, outside of the home. So I don't have much to update you on there, but I am doing my best to fit it in when I can. The problem is is that when I sit down to read at night, I've been this past week. I've been so exhausted. Of course. Just dose off. And then, shameless weeks me up. He's like, well, it's been time. I'm like, ah, crap. [LAUGHTER] But my current read is "Mazy Dobs" by Jacqueline Wind Spear. It's pretty good. I'm about 50 pages in and hoping you get some good reading in this weekend. So we'll see how that goes. Sweet. Well, we got book chat. If we don't get a raxial reading, we'll be chatting about books, at least through this episode. Yeah. But I need to read books in order to keep the podcast going. Well, listen. We'll figure-- that's a technicality. We can figure that out. [LAUGHTER] All right. Let's jump into our reviews for today. Jillian, tell us about the books you have for today's episode. What are we in for? This week, I'm excited to bring a piece of literary fiction, a memoir, and some historical fiction. All right, Aaron. What are you bringing to the show today? For today's show, I'm reviewing a sci-fi novella that was recently adapted to television. Personal development book and a historical time travel novel. Mm-hmm. So Jillian, you have today's first book. What do you have for us? The first book I'm bringing to the show is The White Hat by Kiera Allegria Hudeys. This is a letter from a mother to her daughter who she abandoned at 10 years old. Theoretically, that concept is heartbreaking, and it was, but so much of the text went over my head. I ended up giving it three stars. Here's a synopsis. April is a young mother raising her daughter in an intergenerational house of unspoken secrets and loud arguments. Her only refuge is to hide away in a locked bathroom, the her ears plugged into an ambient soundscape, and a mantra on her lips dead inside. That is, until one day, as she finds herself spiraling toward the volcanic rage she calls The White Hat, a voice insider tells her to just walk away. She wanders to a bus station and asks her a ticket to the furthest destination. She tells the clerk to make it a one way. That ticket takes her from her filling home to the threshold of a wilderness and the beginning of a nameless quest, an accidental journey that shakes her awake, almost kills her, and brings her to the brink of an impossible choice. The White Hat takes the form of a letter from mother to daughter about a moment of abandonment that would stretch from 10 days to 10 years, an explanation but not an apology. The Hudez narrates April's story, spiritual and sexy, fierce and funny, with delicate lyrics and tough love. Just as April finds in her painful and absurd sojourn, the key to freeing herself and her family from a cage of generational trauma, so Hudez turns April's stumbling pursuit of herself into an unforgettable short epic of self-discovery. When the mother April gets reflective, the text gets a little abstract and her monologues and it just, I didn't quite get it. You know, I went like I said earlier, went over my head. - Stream of consciousness, yeah. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's exactly what it is. Well, I didn't love the White Hat, it's overall premise and it's ending, left an impression on me. If you love familial drama with lots of fancy writing, then you'll love this book. That's my review of the White Hat by Kiera, Elegría, Hudez. - This is fiction. - Yes. - I don't know, I feel like that's really hard. The explanation but not an apology. - It was tough to read because it's, you know, this mother abandoning her daughter, but it was good. It just, the sections of it that went over my head, kind of were parts of the book where I kind of just read through and didn't exactly pay attention to, you know, that which we've talked about before. - That's totally allowed in your reading life. I actually think that's actually a very good skill. I don't know if I would call it skimming, but sort of like reading at a distance. - Yeah. - You're like, these are words and sentences, and I'm present. - Yeah. - Yeah. - But I am not moved nor am I interested. - Exactly. (laughs) - All right, Erin, you're up next. What's your first review? - Okay, the first book I'm bringing to the show is The Book of Lost Hours by Haley Gelfuso. I hope I'm saying that right. I gave this book four and a half stars, and I wanna lead with that because this one delivered in the best way, plus it has a really good ending, which with time travel, you really can't take for granted. The book of Lost Hours by Haley Gelfuso is Historical Fiction meets Time Travel. The marketing, I think, will sell you on the love story and the love story is really sweet and moving, but what hooked me first was the premise. So here's a bit of setup. It's 1939. Lisevette is 11 years old. Her Jewish father hides her in the middle of the night during a Nazi attack on their city. He tells her to wait. He doesn't come back. But Lisevette hasn't been hidden in an ordinary place, and she's in a space outside of time, lined with bookshelves lit by a sky of colored lights where she never feels hungry, never needs to sleep, and she waits. She waits and she waits until strangers begin entering the space, pulling books from the shelves, and burning them. And that's when the story really takes shape. And I think what worked here for me is the momentum from that initial plot setup. The plot really moves. The characters, they earn your investment, and the author, Gelfuso, finds that balance of tension and heartbreak that I think all the best time travel novels have, in my opinion. We know the time travels wife, the ministry of time. I mean, the ministry of time isn't for everybody, but I think the ministry of time strikes that same balance. Does this book hang with those? I really think it does. Most often, with time travel books, you get some of that, but not all of it. And I really think this book delivers the full package. My only deduction, the only reason it wasn't a full five stars is the villain. I really wanted so much more, more backstory, more motivation, more menace even. The story delivers on pretty much everything except that, but it did kind of keep it from being that five star read for me. I think if you love time travel stories, then that trust your intelligence and reward your patience. This is a perfect book to put on your spring holds at the library. That's my review of The Book of Lost Hours by Haley Gelfuso. The sounds really good. I really think I'm going to read it. It was so enjoyable. Like it was honestly, it was like, I enjoyed that when I finished it. That's, you got to love when that happens. I know, but I feel like sometimes we're talking about books and we're really hyping them into experiences. And sometimes a book was just like, I enjoyed myself the whole time. Yes. And when you read a book like that, it makes other books pale in comparison. It does. It's tough to get into a new book when after you read a book like that. Yeah. I didn't have the feeling of like, oh, I missed these characters or oh, I wish I could live in this world a little longer. But I was so satisfied as a reader. That's great. Yeah. All right, my friend, you're next to share your second review. The next treat I'm bringing to the show is The Tal by Amy Griffin. This book is a memoir. It took me a while to listen to, but only because I listened to it while waiting in car line. Otherwise, I would have flown through it. It was so good. I gave it five stars. Here's a synopsis. For decades, Amy ran through the dirt roads of Amarillo, Texas, where she grew up. The campus of the University of Virginia has a student athlete on the streets of New York where she built her adult life through marriage, motherhood, and a thriving career. To outsiders, it looked like in many ways, perfect. But Amy was running from something. A secret she was keeping not only from her family and friends, but unconsciously from herself. You're here, but you're not here. Her daughter said to her one night, where are you, mom? So began Amy's quest to solve a mystery trapped in the deep recesses of her own memory. A journey that would take her to the burgeoning fields of psychedelic therapy to the limits of the judicial system and ultimately home to the Texas Panhandle, where her story began. In her search for the truth to understand and begin to recover from very childhood trauma, Griffin interrogates super-suita perfectionism, control, and maintaining appearances that drive so many women. Asking when in our path from girlhood to womanhood, did we learn to look outside ourselves for validation? What kind of freedom is possible if we accept the whole story and embrace who we really are? With hope, heart, and relentless honesty, she points away forward for all of us, revealing the power of radical truth-challenged to deepen our connections with others and ourselves. The story broke my heart, but it was an excellent book to listen to, ripping. I only wish the author hadn't experienced a horrible things in her life, which she goes into in the book. It's just horrendous, the stuff she went through. The audiobook is read by the author and worth listening to. That's my review of the tale by Amy Griffin. - This sounds fascinating, really interesting. I don't know, I'm not much of a memoir person, but I think I'll add this to my list. - It's worth it. It mentions in the synopsis of psychedelic therapy that is what spurs her memory to come forth and remember what she had forgotten. And it's intriguing and horrific, and it's a great book. - Yeah, fascinating. And so brave of her to write out that experience and share it in a memoir. - Yeah. Sometimes I can't believe how brave some of these memoirs are. - Yes, I've thought that before too. Especially the ones that are risking ostracation and being written off by their families. I mean, any memoir is a good memoir. Well, I guess that's not true, but many memoirs are good memoirs, but it's tough when they're facing such trouble and still telling the truth. It's hard. - Yeah, there's a lot of pain in the world. It's that is tough, yeah. - Okay, how about you, Europe for your second book? - Oh, okay, everybody, hang on to your hats because this is about to be a bit of book whiplash from a heartbreaking memoir, true life story. I'm going to tell you about a sci-fi novella that I really love to sew that totally, totally different change of pace. So if maybe you're not into the trauma memoir, but the idea of a security robot skipping his duties to watch soap operas makes you smile even a little bit, then you're gonna enjoy this next review. I'm talking about all systems read by Martha Wells. That's the first novella in the Murderbot Diaries series and it comes in at 152 wonderful pages. If you love sci-fi or even if you're kind of intrigued by sci-fi but you've been avoiding it because you don't have the bandwidth for a 600 page book in an eight-part series, Koff Koff Matdeneman, then this is your entry point. Here's the setup. Our narrator is a security unit. He's part robot, part organic. Hired to monitor a group of human scientists excavating a crater on a planet that's being surveyed for terraforming. It's a boring assignment for him, which actually suits him fine because boring means more processing power for his actual priority, watching his favorite entertainment cereal, sanctuary moon. And then something enormous explodes out of the ground and tries to eat the scientist and suddenly he has a job to do. The mission conflict is fun but the real story is our protagonist because this robot has hacked his own governor module. He has more free will than he is supposed to. He doesn't have to follow orders. And he has absolutely no interest in anyone finding this out. He just wants to watch his shows and avoid people. And can I tell you, this is a very relatable character trait. I just want people to leave me alone so I can watch my shows. But humans are messy and humans are constantly getting in the way of his primary mission. What makes this work is the tone of the whole novella. It's dry, it's sarcastic, it's genuinely funny. And underneath all of that grumpiness is a character arc that is actually kind of adorable. Martha Wells is doing something really interesting here. She's using the genre trope of sci-fi to ask questions about autonomy, identity. What does it mean to be recognized? What does it mean to be appreciated and seen? I picked this up because the Apple TV adaptation stars, Alexander Sarsgard, and look, listen, I have my reasons for enjoying Alexander Sarsgard. (laughing) I understand. Since True Blood, I've just enjoyed watching Alexander Sarsgard, okay? I've never read a book because of a TV show before, but I'm really, really glad I did with this and I might actually do more of it. The adaptation is a very close retelling which I appreciated, though I will say, the murder bot in my head was slightly better. Mine was giving a little bit more Ryan Gosling and Alexander Sarsgard, but what do I know? Sci-fi has definitely been capturing my attention lately and I think I really now know why. The genre's whole premise is what if the rules of today's world don't apply? And right now, Jillian, we are living through a moment where the rules feel genuinely unstable and there's something kind of clarifying about stories that take that premise seriously. What if everything we believe was true about reality is actually not true? But, sci-fi and with many sci-fi novels, that take is actually more hopeful and that just kind of feels like it's hitting the right spot for me right now. This book, this novella, is a really great palette cleanser between heavier reads and it's highly likely, I'll be picking up the rest of the series throughout the spring. And that's my review of All Systems Red by Martha Wells. - Is this, this is not a children or a middle grade book, right? - No. - This is. - No, many swears. Yeah, no, no, no. No, it's at all fiction for sure. - Nice. - Mm-hmm. - I was gonna say, at the beginning, it sounds adorable until you mentioned Alexander Skars' scar, and then it sounds a little bit more than adorable. - Yeah, it's pretty violent. Like I would maybe give it like a three out of five in terms of violence, and then also, like the themes are probably way above the head of kids. But I definitely think like if you're okay with your 13, 14, 15-year-old reading language, then that, I think it would be fine. - Good to know, maybe something from it. - Yeah, yeah. Definitely, I think you could probably watch the show together. - Okay. - Yeah. - We don't have Apple TV, but. - Oh, okay. - Yeah. Sorry, yeah. - For real. - It's like the one streaming service we don't have. - Yeah, I think I actually just paid for a month and then canceled my subscription to one. (laughing) It's a watch monitor book. (laughing) Okay, it's our final round of books, Jillian, what's your last book? - The final book I'm bringing to the show is The Bright Years by Sarah Demoff. I haven't felt this connected to characters in a book in quite some time. I absolutely loved Lilian, Ryan, and Jett. The story was so beautifully written, I couldn't get enough of it. I rated this book five stars. Here's the synopsis. Ryan and Lilian Bright are deeply in love, recently married, and now parents to a baby girl, George Jett. But Lilian has a son she hasn't told Ryan about, and Ryan has an alcohol addiction he hasn't told Lilian about. So George Jett comes of age, watching their marriage rise and fall. When a shocking blow scatters their fragile trio, George Jett tries to distance herself from reminders of her parents. Years later, Lilian's son comes searching for his birth family. So George Jett must return to her roots, unearth her family's history, and decide whether she can open up to love for them or herself while there's still time. This is a debut novel for this author, and if every book is like this one, I'll be reading them all. That was excellent. I haven't read a book that makes me cry in a long time, but the end of this book took me a while to read, simply because I was bawling my eyes out. - Wow. - This is an incredible book. If you love books with complicated family stories in them, then this is the book for you. - That's my review of The Bright Years by Sarah Demoff. - I've had this on my TBR for a while. I think I'll probably put it on my summer list to check out. The cover is so pretty. Like I can picture the cover in my mind, and I've heard a couple of other not books to gram people, but like friends who actually like read books and enjoy books give this a really good review, including you. So yeah, I think I'm gonna check this out. - It's worth it. It'll be a great summer book. Something to read at the cabin. - Nice. - Yeah. - Or the cottage, whatever. - Oh my God, cottage reading. I can't wait for cottage reading. - You're almost there. - It feels so far away. - It snowed yesterday. Did it snow yesterday for you? - Yeah, it did. I was in my building. We're on the fifth floor. - Oh, it probably looked pretty. - You've been in the city from the fifth floor. - It did look pretty, but you couldn't see like the other buildings in the city 'cause I'm downtown. - Yeah. - And it was kind of, it was kind of weird. It felt like, it was like a whiteout, but it wasn't a whiteout. Like when you were looking at it up close, it didn't look that bad, but far away it looked bad. - Yeah, and the snowflakes were super big and fluffy where I was. It was very Christmassy on March, whatever March 13th. I was like, get that out of here. - I want you to see this. - It's gusty. - Okay. - Yes, I agree. I'm ready for the spring. - Yes. Oh. - All right, Erin, you have our last review of the show. What are you sharing today? - Okay, my last review is Tiny Experiments by Anne Lawre LeCunf. This book is nonfiction personal development read and the premise is basically, the premise I felt medium lady was built on and that's that small iterative experiments, medium effort with consistent curiosity will get you farther than any grand reinvention. So I had high hopes for this book. Here's what the book actually is. It's really not prescriptive. It won't hand you a system. It'll hand you a handful of ideas while quietly dismantling the limiting beliefs that most of us carry about what we think we're capable of and what change is supposed to look like. And for that, this book really works. I do have a few criticisms. The first section leans really heavily on examples of white men who have overcome obstacles and succeeded through trial and error. And the book never really examines what happens when the person running the Tiny Experiment is a woman or racialized or queer. Those systemic barriers are really real and they change the math on when just try and see what happens actually might actually come with a cost. I wanted even one chapter that acknowledged that the reader's most drawn to iterative low pressure approaches to change are often the same people that the dominant success narrative has already kind of failed. And I really felt like that emissions stood out to me. I think the book finds it's footing in the second half, which is more contemporary examples. A really forward looking lens on AI and critical thinking that felt really relevant rather than kind of like tacked on to the end. You know, sometimes a personal development book really shines in the first like three or four chapters. And then the rest is kind of filler and examples. This was kind of the reverse of that. Actually, I preferred the last six chapters of this book to the first. And I'll say this, it did inspire my own tally project for March, which is a simple yes-no-daily check-in on my own goals. Just counting how many times I actually did what I said I would do. Data as sort of self-compassion, not self-surveillance. And that idea came directly from this book and that I think counts for something. And if you're interested in hearing more about the tally project, I share all about that in episode 169 of Medium Lady Talks. I do think you could definitely borrow this from your library, engage critically. I think the author has done a couple of TED Talks that I haven't watched, but I think would be good partners to this book. The idea of having tiny experiments or living your life with tiny experiments in mind is a good idea. And if you're into personal development or you've enjoyed some of the other nonfiction books that I've reviewed, then you'll like this too. And that's my review of Tiny Experiments by Anne Lor LeCunf. What is the James Clear book? Atomic habits. It seems very similar to that. It sounds very similar to that. Oh, you know what? I didn't make that comparison. I would say that book is about habit formation. And this book is more about goal setting, although now I'm like, well, what's the difference between habit formation and goal setting? Oh, I really like that comparison. That did not jump out at me, but I think if you like to Tomic habits, you'll like this kind of book too. I was going to say that it sounds like something I would like. The issue is now I don't have the time. I used to read my personal development books on the morning, like with my coffee. And I don't have that time now. Now I'm getting ready, driving the kids to school, and on my way to work. So I don't know if I'll get to this one, but I may add it to my TBR just in case. Yeah, you never know. Maybe it'll find you right when you need it most. Yeah. All right. Let's wrap our reviews and pivot into hot takes. We're just about three months into the year, which means without fail, people are posting their monthly reading totals. You had a total for January, a total for February, Jillian, you're already talking, you're worried about your book total. And I'm the same. I feel like every book is contributing to my receipts for the end of the year. But why do we do this? I kind of want to talk about that. Why do we count everything? I love it. Hot take time. And for anyone new, a hot take on the show is a pinion formed off the cuff with little research. Sometimes a little provocative, but always genuine. OK, here it is. Why do we count our books? Jillian, like really why? Every January reading challenges reset. Goodreads asks you to set a goal. Book talk is full of read these 100 books this year. Or here's how to achieve your reading goal this year. And I really just some curious, like, what is that all for? Like, it used to feel like it really mattered. But recently I saw Hank Green. He was promoting his podcast with an answer to the question, do audiobooks count? And then he said, in order to answer that question, I have to ask the question, why are we counting? And since I saw that, I kind of can't get it out of my head. Like, is counting ruining reading? Because the only reason audiobooks wouldn't count is if we believe that counting is super important and has to be like pristine and like what the number is really matters. I do think the count can quietly turn reading into performance. It stops being like, I read this book. And it changed something in me. Or I read this book and I disagreed with it. But it starts kind of feeling like I need to finish this so I can log it. And don't get me wrong. Like, I love the dopamine associated with logging a book finished. But I don't know. Like, why are we doing this? I don't know. It's got me thinking. I have always-- not always. But since I started using Goodreads a million years ago, I've done their yearly challenge and chosen books. And I don't know why it's-- I started counting. I don't probably pressure from seeing others do it. Yeah. It is like a little bit of like virtue signaling maybe to be like, I'm a reader. And here's some proof that I'm a reader because of all these books that I read. Yeah. Sometimes I think the count keeps me reading. Yeah. That's a really good point. That's true. Like you, I think once I've heard why are we counting, I don't know. I think there's something we're sitting with there because the ultimate thing for me is that reading is self-care. And I guess maybe the count keeps me doing that self-care activity. But as long as the count doesn't become more important than the self-care, I don't know. Reading a self-care is not the same as reading for the numbers. And the whole point of picking up a book for rest, for escape, because you need beauty in your day, is that's not really like a productivity exercise. But somehow we've kind of morphed that appreciation of art and beauty into productivity, into consumption, into becoming like a book obsessed. I would call myself book obsessed. But I don't know. We keep handing ourselves this quota. I feel guilty of it, too. But I don't know. It feels like number one, something I don't need anymore. And also number two, something that I could never stop doing. Would you ever stop counting, Jillian? I'm honestly tempted based on the fact that I have this lack of time now. And seeing the number, not meeting that number would be very discouraging. So it makes me think maybe I do stop counting. And maybe I just let it ride. But I don't know. I don't know yet. We would love to hear from you if you think that you don't count. You do count. You keep track of the books you've read, but you don't really care how many there are. Or the count is really important to you. And it's a goal that you want to achieve in order to feel a certain way by the end of the year or the end of the month. I mean, I'm counting right now. But I definitely like love the feeling of seeing the number grow. That's really satisfying. So maybe there's something to that. I don't know. There it is. It feels good to see that number grow. But at the same time, it feels bad for me, at least. It feels bad to not meet that number. Right. It's a toss up there. Or maybe it's like the number grows without a goal. Without an end, it's just like how big will that number be by the end of the year? Whether or not you hit 50, 60, 100, whatever. It's a fun conversation to have. I think we'll probably have to bring this back to talk about it and see if our feelings change or like you said, like you might just abandon the count altogether. And I think that would be totally OK. Yeah. I'll let you know. As time goes on, we'll see how it goes. All right. Let's wrap up with the holds list. You know, we are deeply and sincerely committed to the public library on this show. And the holds list is our little love letter to it. We keep both keep active holds lists. We don't hear enough about this on book podcasts. And we think it's one of the most underrated parts of the reading life. We'll also share what's up next on our TBRs. So Aaron, what's on your holds list? I don't think I actually have anything ready for me at the library, which is probably honestly just as well, because my TBR is gotten kind of-- I mean, don't I say that every episode, though? I should probably-- I'm being very repetitive. I probably-- yeah. I probably don't need to mention that my TBR is out of control. Yours is, too. It's all right. It doesn't need to be in control. It's a wild and beautiful world. Everybody says-- Yeah. Exactly. There are too many books in the world that we all want to read that you cannot read. Exactly. Exactly. So I have nothing waiting for me at the library right now, which is fine. No problem. And what I'm going to be picking up next is a book called Little One by Olivia Wunter. Mouenter. I hope I'm saying that right. Here's a bit of setup. From the outside, Catherine West's childhood sounds idyllic. Bommie days spent running barefoot through gardens, plucking ripe tomatoes straight from the vine, a sunlight warmed her skin. Her parents built a life that was simple and community-focused, and ethos that soon attracted others in need of a change. And for a time, Catherine's magnetic father was enough to keep the farm thriving and temptation outside its gates. But as she grew older, the farm and family she was raised to love faded into something darker, forcing Catherine to evolve with it. It's now been a decade since Catherine abandoned the farm and has done her best to reinvent her life until an email from a charismatic journalist interrupts her piece. This is about a woman who is sort of like recovering from being part of a cult. That's the short-- the short end. But without reading the entire setup. And this book is already overdue, but I'm hoping to dive into it this weekend. And then I also mentioned last episode I was going to read Anatomy of Analiby, but I still haven't gotten to that. So I need to get into that too. Too many good books, not enough time. Yeah, absolutely. Jillian, what are you waiting for from the library and what do you have coming up next on your TBR? OK, so waiting for me, I have the correspondent by Virginia Evans. And I have just friends by Haley Fam. OK, so this just friends book is-- my daughter was-- or is-- interested, there's this YouTuber, Ryan Trayhan, who she would like to watch. And he and Haley are married. And they went on this road trip across America 50 states and 50 days. And she saw that Haley Fam wrote the book, his wife, wrote a book. So I said I would request to inread it. Even though it's not a children's book, it's an adult romance. But I thought I would read it for her, so-- So you are reading on behalf of your daughter's parasocial relationship with her favorite YouTubers. Yes. You're a good mom. You're a good mom. If I get to it-- Esther recommended this book to you. Yes, she did. My nine-year-old. Yeah, I love that. Esther, what's up next? I'm going to be reading and now back to you by B.K. Borison. Here's a quick synopsis for you. Two competing meteorologists are forced to find common ground. And this opposites attract when Harry met Sally inspired romance. And I am so excited for it. That's going to be so good. Yeah. I think I have that unhold, but I'm not going to get it until probably the summer, which will be perfect. Awesome. That'll be a good read for the summer. OK, believe it or not, that wraps up Episode 55. Thank you so much for being here. Genuinely, every time you show up for this podcast, it means the world to us. We hope you're leaving with at least one title that feels like it was made for exactly where you are right now. Medium Lady Reads is a spinoff of the Medium Lady Talks podcast and community. You can find me on Instagram at medium.lady. And Jillian at Jillian Finding Happy. Come hang out with us there for current reads, Behind the Scenes chaos, and all the other bookish things in between. And of course, you can follow the podcast itself at medium lady reads. If you enjoyed this episode, please share it with another reader in your life. It definitely helps us grow the show and reach more people who are out there just trying to read and feel a little bit better about the world. I'm your host, Erin. And I'm Jillian. Until next time, we hope your holds arrive quickly. And your next book finds you right where you need it most. We'll talk to you soon. Bye. Bye. [MUSIC PLAYING] (upbeat music)