The Readiness Myth: Start Before You Feel Confident

The dream has been there for a while now. You can feel it.

But every time you consider the next leap of faith, something stops you. Maybe it sounds like: "I'm not ready yet." Or "What if I'm wrong about this?" Or the most persistent one: "I don't want to waste the precious time I have left."

If that's where you are right now, this episode is for you.

To open Season 14, I sit down with my longtime friend, writer, and nonprofit communications consultant Erin Straza.

Together, we unpack the belief so many women carry: that confidence must come before courage.

Spoiler: That's not how it works.

IN THIS EPISODE, YOU'LL DISCOVER:

✦ Why "I don't feel ready" is rarely about readiness. 

✦ What to do when you're not sure this is the right dream. 

✦ A different way to interpret the nerves. 

This is the episode to send to the woman in your life who has a dream she keeps putting off. And if that woman is you, it's time.

🌿 You Were Never Meant to Do This Alone

If this conversation made you wish you had women in your corner who actually talk about these things, that longing is telling you something.

Dream Believers is a community for Christian women who have sensed God stirring something meaningful and want to take steps forward.

We gather around three things that actually move dreams forward:

Proximity: the right women walking beside you 

Consistency: showing up regularly so momentum becomes real 

Depth: honest conversations about faith, fear, calling, and taking the next step

If you're ready to pursue your dream in a way that's rooted in Scripture, aligned with how you're wired, and supported by women who get it, come find your people.

👉 merrittonsa.com/dreambelievers

🔗 Connect with Erin Straza

• Website: erinstraza.com/ 
• LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/erinstraza/ 

Devoted Dreamers is hosted by Merritt Onsa — Christian life coach, mentor, speaker, and founder of Dream Believers. New episodes drop every week for the woman who believes her best chapter isn't behind her.

Learn more about the Dream Believers community at: merrittonsa.com/dreambelievers

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MORE ABOUT THE DEVOTED DREAMERS PODCAST:
Produced by Jonathan R. Clauson.
Theme music by Reaktor Productions.
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Transcript

Erin Straza [00:00:00]:

Everyone else seems like they've arrived and they're ready, because again, you're looking at their external. I'm waiting to feel like what I think they must feel like on the outside. I want to feel a certain way so that I can step forward in a certain way. And it's like those insecurities are just loud. It's like they are perpetuating that myth that ready means feeling a certain way on the inside.

 Merritt Onsa [00:00:37]:

Welcome to Season 14 of the Devoted Dreamers Podcast. I'm Merritt Onsa, and this season, instead of traditional interviews, I'm inviting trusted friends to have real conversations about what it looks like to pursue a God-shaped dream in the second half of life. These are honest, thoughtful conversations about faith, doubt, growth, and the very ordinary steps it takes to move forward when you have a God-shaped dream. 

Today, I'm joined by my longtime friend, Erin Straza, a writer, a nonprofit communications consultant, and someone who's experienced meaningful shifts in her calling over the last decade. 

I've broken up this conversation with Erin into 4 separate topics. Which I'm planning to share over the next 4 weeks. That's gonna be our cadence here in 2026 as I experiment with this whole concept of visiting co-hosts. Thanks for coming along for the ride.

 Merritt Onsa [00:01:30]:

In this episode, we're talking about what it actually means to feel ready and why seeking clarity, a very intuitive thing to do when you're just starting out, might actually be what's holding you back. I'm so glad you're here. 

Let's dive in. 

All right, so It's a cold, snowy day. This is the beginning of warm-up and banter. Welcome, banter. I’m here with Erin Straza, beautiful friend and talented writer. This is the Devoted Dreamers Podcast coming back for Season 14.

 Merritt Onsa [00:02:02]:

It's 2026. And I thank you all for just being patient with me as I tried to figure out if I really wanted to keep doing this. And I really do want to keep doing this.

 Erin Straza [00:02:14]:

So, can I just say that I can't believe it's been 14 seasons. Is that what you said? 14?

 Merritt Onsa [00:02:21]:

14! Season 14. Yes.

 Erin Straza [00:02:24]:

That's incredible.

 Merritt Onsa [00:02:26]:

Well, okay. So let's start there because Erin, this is, um, very much about you. This podcast and its existence is very much because you're my friend. 

And in January of 2016, you invited me to be a guest on your podcast, Persuasion. And I still— way back then. I still have this visual of sitting in our unfinished basement with my baby sleeping upstairs in the bed with my husband. And me putting on some real clunky headphones to log on to a call. I had never done this before. I think it was like 5 or 6 in the morning. It was dark. And you and Hannah—

 Erin Straza [00:03:21]:

yep, Hannah Anderson —

 Merritt Onsa [00:03:22]:

led just the most wonderful conversation asking me about something that I was working on. And I got off that call with you guys, I was so sweaty.

 Erin Straza [00:03:34]:

I mean, it was— oh my gosh, I totally get it.

 Merritt Onsa [00:03:40]:

Sweaty in January. Um, but I was like, that was the most fun I've had in a long time. Like, that was so fun. It was, you know, and I think it's more than come and talk about yourself. You know, we all like to kind of tell our stories or talk about ourselves, but the way that you two prepared, the ways that you prepared me, and then just the, um, experience of recording a conversation for a podcast for the very first time. It wasn't long after that. I'm sure I could look up the dates, but it wasn't long after that that I was like, Erin, please tell me how you do this podcasting thing.

Erin Straza [00:04:21]:

It is such a fun medium, isn't it? I mean, I'm so glad that that conversation was helpful and informative for you because where you have gone since then is amazing with Devoted Dreamers and, um, 14 seasons of recorded conversations. That's a lot. And, um, it's like you've been in it for the long haul because my podcast Persuasion, we had 5 years.

Merritt Onsa [00:04:53]:

That's amazing.

Erin Straza [00:04:53]:

We did our seasons a little bit different. We had 5 years. Um, But we wound that down sometime right during COVID Some— we had some life change things happening, and so we were like, okay, let's just, you know, bring that to a close. 

But man, I love podcasting because I love chatting with friends, and so I'm just so glad that I get to be here. And that's so sweet that there's this tie between us with podcasting and friendship. So thanks for— oh my gosh, I'm so glad, and I'm glad I get to, um, be present with all of your listeners, your devoted dreamers.

Merritt Onsa [00:05:30]:

Well, and we should say that you were my very first guest, episode 1, because back in the day, 10 years ago, I was like, I don't know what to do.

Erin Straza [00:05:41]:

It's like, we should listen to that. What in the world did I say?

Merritt Onsa [00:05:45]:

We should go listen to it. I should have done that before today, but it's okay.

Erin Straza [00:05:50]:

Maybe there's something funny you can insert as a clip at the very end of this podcast.

Merritt Onsa [00:05:55]:

That's a good idea. Yeah. So I think that would have been June. I think it was June 1st, 2016. You were my very first episode, my very first interview. There was an episode zero because I didn't know what to call it. Um, I guess now they would call that the trailer. Yeah.

Erin Straza [00:06:15]:

Yeah. Yeah.

Merritt Onsa [00:06:16]:

But so you were episode one and I think maybe you've been on the podcast one other time, but I, I, yes, yes, I think so.

Erin Straza [00:06:24]:

I didn't realize I was guest number one, but I knew we had talked since.

Merritt Onsa [00:06:26]:

Well, you were my safe place, right? So I, I had experience doing an interview with you, so we just flipped the scene. And yeah, so that's why also I wanted you to come and be my first visiting co-host, um, which is the new way that I'm gonna talk about having, um, guests on my show, not for the purpose of an interview. I feel like, I don't know, somewhere around 300 of those already exist, and so there's a lot. There's a lot that listeners can go back and hear dreamers talk about what it was like to start their dreams, the struggles that they had, where they felt fear. 

The whole reason I started interviewing women was because I was hearing similar echoes of, well, she feels afraid? Like, she seems like she's got it all together, like that she knows what she is doing and wants to do. Why do I feel so scared? And then it was like, no, everybody feels a little bit of fear—

Erin Straza [00:07:30]:

let's just level that playing field.

Merritt Onsa [00:07:31]:

Yeah, I wanted to level the playing field, and so we got like 300 episodes out there. Um, so now we're gonna do this co-host conversation. 

And this might be a great time, Erin, for you to talk a little bit about who you are and what you do. And I don't know if you refer to that as a dream, but as I look at you, some of it is dreamy.

Erin Straza [00:07:59]:

Yes. Um, yeah, so who am I? Well, I live too many states away from you, Merritt. I'm in central Illinois, and, um, I've been married to Mike for almost 34 years, and, um, we have a just a good life here doing good work. I work with nonprofits. I have my own consultancy, and Mike is a genius CFO, operations person, and involved in all the community things on city government and boards and all this, that, and the other. 

I, at heart, I'm a writer, so I do work with nonprofits in strategy and development with donor communications and donor outreach, donor engagement. But my through line is that what is the big picture and the vision, and then creating to that end so that there are good communications between organizations and donors, and there's that increase of partnership. So I love writing.

Erin Straza [00:09:11]:

I'm always thinking about writing. I'm not always doing the writing, but I'm always thinking like, oh, I could write about that. Um, yeah, I, I love to read. I'm a word nerd and a punctuation nerd. 

As an aside, Merritt, did you know that there is an onslaught against the em dash? Because ChatGPT knows how to make the em dash, and most people don't know the keystrokes for the em dash? But I have been a lifelong lover of the em dash to the point where I do believe when I wrote my book, um, IVP, I was with InterVarsity Press, um, they were like, “can you scale back the em dashes? You got, you got too many in here.” And so now I guess the em dash is like the signal that you've used ChatGPT, and that just makes me sad.

Merritt Onsa [00:10:03]:

That's really sad.

Erin Straza [00:10:04]:

ChatGPT does not own the em dash.

Merritt Onsa [00:10:06]:

I know. I don't know why it thought that it could just take over this very cool tool.

Erin Straza [00:10:14]:

I mean, what if we said that about the period? Then we'd have no complete sentences. So I'm sorry, ChatGPT does not own punctuation. Okay, so that's a little bit about me, maybe more than you all know.

Merritt Onsa [00:10:28]:

Well, it was a good tie-in to how we met, which I think is important because it just feels like God's sovereignty in our lives. So Todd and I moved to the Boulder area in 2011. And I don't know what year it was, but someone at church in Boulder said, have you ever met Erin Straza? And I was like, I don't think so, you know. And all, all people really knew about me was that I was a writer. And so if someone met you and you said you were a writer, they were like, oh, you two should meet.

Erin Straza [00:11:01]:

They were like, yeah.

Merritt Onsa [00:11:02]:

And as it turns out, we really do like each other. And we went to lunch. You know, on a summer day. I can't remember what year it would have been. Maybe that was 2012 or 2013.

Erin Straza [00:11:15]:

Maybe 2012. I'm gonna say, okay, yeah.

Merritt Onsa [00:11:18]:

And I, I always say we went to lunch and it lasted 5 hours, and I needed to have dinner as soon as we were done.

Erin Straza [00:11:24]:

It was fantastic. And, um, I will— I mean, Mike and I talk about this story on the regular, that Merritt and Todd were willing to let near strangers stay in their home while they went on vacation so we could stay in Boulder 3 weeks longer and then longer with them. 

So, um, your hospitality and generosity and trust with complete strangers. I mean, it's laughable and also delightful. And it just makes me so happy that we got to know each other so well and then be in each other's lives this long. So even though we live states away, I'm so glad that we had those summers where we got to, uh, spend lots of long lunches together. Yeah.

Merritt Onsa [00:12:13]:

Yeah.

Erin Straza [00:12:13]:

It was good. Yeah.

Merritt Onsa [00:12:15]:

And I'm trying to think about, um, what made that so sweet. And I think it was just, I think it's connected to why, why the podcast thing for me is connected to you is that. There's just something about how God has wired each one of us that we cannot end a conversation. Like, we would just keep talking, you know? Like, that you and I, when we meet monthly now, we have a deadline for when we need to get off because we would just keep talking. Um, there's so much that he— there's so many threads that he has connected us through, and it's just really sweet. You love the Lord, you love to write, you care deeply about nonprofits doing excellent work and serving their donors well. And, um, I care about all of those things too. 

And you are a dreamer, like you have big ideas and, um, purposeful work you want to do in the world.

Merritt Onsa [00:13:16]:

And so I just love you. And, um, there's, there's a lot we want to talk about today, so we should probably move on. Um, So yeah, I am curious if— and you don't have to answer this now, you can think about this as we talk— but, um, you know, my question is always like, what are you learning from where God has you right now on this journey of— you know, it doesn't look the same as it did in 2012. And, um, yeah, you and I have both been through a lot of different seasons of you know, ups, up years and down years. And, um, I don't know, did anything come to mind as far as a learning?

Erin Straza [00:14:07]:

Oh my gosh. I mean, when I think about the last 10 years, so much has happened personally and globally, um, and so much change. I think, um, the main thread that I'm seeing that God has been teaching me or walking me gently through is that, um, change is good and needed and necessary, and don't be scared of it. Um, and also, in the middle of that change, he's unchanging and pulling me through. Because the things that I thought when we first met, the things that I thought my life would look like are not that. Um, it is different, but it's still so good. Um, there are things that I grieve. I thought my life was going to go on one path and it, it really has taken another.

Erin Straza [00:15:10]:

And there are still days where I'm like, oh, I thought I wanted that path. But that's not the route that unfolded with my work and, um, and my words. And there's grief in that, but then there are good things on the path that did open up that I'm like, oh, I like this. 

So when you asked earlier, um, even is my work my dream, the work itself, I wouldn't say like, I always joke about the typey-type of work. Like we're all typey-typing all the time. So the typey- typey, no. No, that is not my dream. But my dream of the world being a better place because we're in it together, we're with people who are like-minded, we have ideas and we want to see people do well and be well in themselves and their communities be well.

Erin Straza [00:16:10]:

That's what I love all you know, throughout all my writing, whether I'm doing it for nonprofits, doing it as an author, writer, always to that end of like, how can we learn and grow and make the world a better place? I thought it would be like, I'm going to write book after book after book, and then that's not where I'm at right now. That's not to say that I won't write more books, but what unfolded and then grew and grew and grew was the opportunity to do that with nonprofits and to help them have a bigger reach because of the words. And so I, yeah, I, it's different than what I thought, but I still like it. It's just not what I had in mind. So being able to release a little bit, I don't, yeah, the vision isn't always how it turns out in reality.

Merritt Onsa [00:17:04]:

And yet it's still good to pay attention to the vision. Like what your heart wants and where it's guiding your life. I mean, yeah, I don't know that any one of us could say things have turned out the way that we thought they would when we were in 2016 or 2012 or whatever, you know, like, yeah, 

Erin Straza: 

We didn't know about a thing called a pandemic. 

Merritt Onsa: 

Oh gosh, I know. Wouldn't it be funny if we could go back and say, hey, this thing's going to happen.

Erin Straza [00:17:37]:

Hey, just so you know, be ready. Because this thing is going—

Merritt Onsa [00:17:39]:

We would have been like, you are crazy and change everything. Yeah, yeah, that's so wild. 

Yeah, yeah, it's funny. I— now we're heading into year 6 since the start of the pandemic, and I would, I think, naturally say, oh, a lot has recovered, so many things have recovered. And yet, um, we went to go buy a car, a couple months ago and there's still a shortage of vehicles.

Erin Straza [00:18:12]:

Yeah.

Merritt Onsa [00:18:12]:

We had to wait, like, I don't know, 3 to 4 weeks for the car that we bought in December to actually arrive.

Erin Straza [00:18:22]:

Yeah.

Merritt Onsa [00:18:22]:

And so I guess it makes me, and our pastor always talks about how the pandemic changed things significantly for churches. And, um, so maybe I have just gone on my merry way and forgotten so much. Um, But I think about that in terms of, too, as we think about our dreams, like if you had a specific dream in the region of 2019, 2020, and where might it be today and how might it be impacted by that? Just like the em dash is being impacted by AI. We must save it. Um, it just makes me think about that idea that there's a perfect time to start whatever is on your heart. Yes. And that's— I think it's a myth that, um, that we should wait until the time is right for stepping into a dream.

Erin Straza [00:19:23]:

Oh, I would agree with that.

Merritt Onsa [00:19:24]:

Like, when do you ever really feel ready?

Erin Straza [00:19:27]:

Oh my gosh, I mean, never. And earlier you said this, and I mean, I am so guilty of that, that feeling like, well, everyone else seems like they've arrived and they're ready because again, you're looking at their external and not, you know, what's going on in the way back. Um, and I'm waiting to feel like what I think they must feel like on the outside. And I want to feel a certain way so that I can step forward in a certain way. And it's like those insecurities are just loud. And so they, they're so loud. It's like they are perpetuating that myth that ready means feeling a certain way on the inside.

Merritt Onsa [00:20:30]:

Yeah. Well, maybe we can reframe that, that ready, ready means feeling incredibly nervous to start.

Erin Straza [00:20:39]:

Yeah. What does, what is ready? Really ready means there is a whole lot of clamoring in there. This is like, um, with, um, they say this with, uh, runners, like before a race, if you're nervous, they're like, instead of saying that you're nervous, say that you are excited. And it's like, you will reframe the nerves and to be like, you've got to be excited because when you're running, you know, you, you need all that energy to run. And so maybe this is how we could reframe the readiness myth is that the insecurities are the energy you need to step forward and to act.

Merritt Onsa [00:21:17]:

Well, I connect that to, um, years ago, even years before I knew you, um, Like in graduate school, I was always kind of a pretty quiet person. So even before that, like shy, kind of internal, maybe internal processor. So in graduate school, I had a fellow student who I highly respected and thought had more business being there than I did. Um, he came up to me after class and he said, um, almost in a stern but caring way, like, “You need to speak up more because when you speak, I pay attention, but I want to hear from you more in class.” 

Erin Straza: 

That's so affirming. 

Merritt Onsa [00:22:09]:

Yeah. And that has stuck with me. I mean, who knows what else I learned in graduate school, but that has stuck with me for a long time.

And so then fast forward to, it probably would have been early to mid-2000s. When I was in ministry leadership, and we would have like our— it was a huge church, our team was 100 people— we'd be in, um, like team meetings or trainings, and I would feel my heart start to beat so fast that I thought people sitting next to me could hear it. Like, I was like— and I began to realize that that was a prompting from the Holy spirit to speak up, that there was something like burning in my mind to say, and my default was sit back, don't speak, don't be loud, don't be present, you know? Just listen and let other smarter people say things, um, because I was so afraid of how I would appear, like come across to people, um, and so that connects 

Erin Straza:

almost like the, the heart beating that loud was sort of like the signal, like you have something to say and it's time to let it out. 

Merritt Onsa:

Yeah. So, so maybe being ready is you feel incredibly terrified.

Erin Straza [00:23:35]:

Readiness is actually terror

Merritt Onsa [00:23:37]:

well, okay, we should— we could dial that down a little bit, but maybe it's anticipation. Maybe it's, um, there's an excitement that you feel, an energy, like the running thing. There's an energy that you feel around something that you care deeply about, and you also probably feel, um, not well prepared, or maybe insignificant, or Um, the enemy could be saying like, who would listen to you? And so we have this like visceral response, like, you're right, you're right. Nobody would listen and nobody would care. And so I might as well just stay quiet.

Erin Straza [00:24:23]:

Um, yeah, I mean, this is the hard part because the myth of being ready, it's like, what does it look like to be ready? And what are we ready for? So like, I think the readiness is like the assumption that all of it is going to be pulled together. And like, it's a, like a certainty. Like, there's, there's going to be everything lined up, and it's all gonna be in order. And when is life ever like that? And so I think for you to call it a myth, I think that's so true because it's like, that's just not life, which I mean, that's what makes life so, you know, that wild adventure is because it isn't all defined and, um, perfectly laid out. We don't know. It's like we're meeting it and creating it in the decisions to to be ready or to move forward even when we don't feel ready.

Merritt Onsa [00:25:35]:

So, well, I thank you for tying that together to just, this is the nature of human life on Earth, because I think that's why I wanted to even bring it up. I mean, I told you earlier, um, before we started recording that I was swimming in the pool yesterday knowing I was supposed to get you the notes for this call like last Friday, and I was asking myself, because this is like the place that my brain can be quiet and just process, like, what is causing me to delay doing what I said I was going to do for this appointment I have with Erin tomorrow to record the podcast? And it was like, I want to have it buttoned up. I want to know exactly what we're going to talk about first, second, third, and so on. I want to control it because then it feels safe. And, um, and I think that was when it hit me like, oh, I am probably not the only one that wants to control it so it feels safe and not scary. And I felt like it was important to just even admit to those listening that 24 hours ago, I was just deciding a bare minimum of what we might talk about today, because I don't know how you're going to respond. I don't know what stories are going to pop into your mind. I don't know what God's put on your heart.

Merritt Onsa [00:27:09]:

Um, how, um, maybe arrogant of me to think that I can control everything. And so maybe that's a signal to all of us that, um, we could just open our hands, and if we trust in a good Father who sees us and cares for us, that he knows the direction it's going to take, and we're gonna be okay. 

Merritt Onsa:

We are going to be okay. And if you're one of those that's been waiting to feel ready before taking a step toward a dream, you're not the only one. And maybe this episode can serve as a reminder that readiness doesn't always look like calm certainty. It might actually look like a racing heart, and that's something we can step into. 

For now, sit with this. What would be possible if you could move forward before you felt fully prepared? 

Come back next week for part 2 of this conversation as Erin and I explore why staying in possibility often feels safer than risking failure. And how to move forward anyway. Until then, keep taking the next faithful step. I'll be here cheering you on.

Merritt Onsa:

You may have heard it when Erin said, oh, we should find the 2016 episode and maybe include a little clip. Well, I went and looked for it and I've got a little nugget from 2016. My very first episode of the Devoted Dreamers podcast. It wasn't even called that at the time, but I will warn you, the audio is pretty terrible. Erin and I are different levels. I didn't know what I did not know about the tech back then.

But I had finished recording that whole episode. My editor was like, what were the settings on your microphone? But I had the deadline. I published it anyway. Sometimes you just gotta publish and worry about perfection later. 

There's a funny little nugget at the end, so stick with it all the way through.

This is Merritt and Erin from 2016. 

Merritt Onsa from 2016:

And I don't know much about brain science, but I feel like what you just talked about, it's like all of those things trigger a different side of your brain so that your writing side can kind of get a little bit of rest and relief, and you can I don't know. 

Erin Straza from 2016:

Come on back.

Merritt Onsa :

Come on back after you've had a little bit of rest. Yeah. Yeah. So good. Okay. So all that stuff you just mentioned, I'll put in the show notes. Um, and yeah, I'm not familiar with Design Sponge, Marla Moon, even your musicians. I'm a total music.

I don't even know what the word is. I never know music.

Erin Straza:

I don't either.

I don't know a lot of music, but Audrey and Grey Havens, I just, I love their music. So people will be good to get on with those two.

Merritt Onsa:

Yeah, awesome. 

Okay, so you also talked about you like to do a lot of reading. I do, yes. What are you reading right now?

Erin Straza:

Oh, I'm always reading way too many things at once because I leave books around my house, and so then I'm like, oh, there you are, and then I pick it up and I read another chapter. Just yesterday I finished a book called The Listening Life by Adam McHugh. I loved this book. So anyone who's interested in hearing about how do we become better listeners and what listening does to our relationships, this book was excellent. I can't stop thinking about it and applying the principles and the ideas that he has. So that was awesome. 

I'm also reading Essentialism. Have you heard of that book? 

Merritt Onsa:

I have.

Erin Straza:

By Greg McKeown? McCowan? Sorry, Greg.

Merritt Onsa:

Because Greg might listen to this podcast.

 Erin Straza:

He'll be in touch with me here real quick.