How to Overcome Self-Doubt and Step into Your Calling

~ Has self-doubt ever talked you out of something God was calling you toward?

It’s more common than you think. And it might be the very thing keeping you from the dream God placed on your heart.

In this episode, I'm talking about something I see in almost every woman I coach: the tendency to downplay our abilities and wait until we feel ready before we take a single step forward. The problem is, that moment of feeling ready rarely comes on its own.

Here are three things I want you to walk away knowing today:

• You do not have to have it all figured out before you start.
• You do not have to feel confident before you begin.
• You do not have to be perfectly competent to take the next step.

I also dig into one of my favorite stories in Scripture: Moses at the burning bush. Moses witnessed miracles, heard directly from God, and still said, "Please send someone else." If that is not relatable, I don't know what is. His story reminds us that self-doubt in the face of a calling is nothing new, and that God's presence is what makes the calling possible, not your readiness.

Your dream has nothing to do with trying to be perfect. God gave it to you in love and grace, and He does not expect you to fulfill it a certain way. Your job is simply to be faithful and take the next step.

If you are ready to work through this and figure out what your next step actually looks like, I would love to have you join me for my workshop, The Next Best Step for Pursuing a God-shaped Dream. Register at merrittonsa.com/workshop.

**This episode was originally released on 1/19/2022. 

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Transcript

Title: How to Overcome Self-Doubt and Step into Your Calling

Hey,

Quick question for you: 

Have you ever felt stuck or unsure about the next step you should take towards a goal?  I bet you think about it all the time. Roll ideas over in your mind. But you’re just not sure how to start getting some traction on it. 

That used to be me. Lots of ideas. Not a lot of action. 

That’s why I created a brand-new workshop---The Next Best Step for Pursuing a God-shaped Dream. And it’s happening this month, on April 23rd. 

If you want to write a book

Start a podcast, 

Build a ministry

Or a business

A creative pursuit

Whatever your goal, this workshop will help you define it, identify what’s standing in the way (so you can get past it) and decide what the next best step is for YOU. 

(because sometimes all it takes is a decision and a commitment to get moving)

Sign up today for the workshop at merrittonsa.com/workshop, that’s merrittonsa.com/workshop

You're listening to the Devoted Dreamers Podcast and I'm your host and dream coach Merritt Ansah. This is the show for you if you are a passionate, creative woman who loves Jesus and is eager to confidently live out your God shaped dream without the doubt, insecurity and second guessing that is so common when you're getting ready to step outside your comfort zone. If this has been a struggle for you, all is not lost. Like I said, it's a common struggle, but we don't want to stay there. God's desire for you is to live life to the full and I'm here to remind you that this promise is yours too. And my promise to you on this journey as your dream coach and podcast host is a new episode every Wednesday morning where I will coach you through the early stages of following a dream with fuel for the fire that's already burning in your heart. If you are ready to find some real traction so you can move forward instead of sitting on the sidelines, subscribe to the show. Then meet me back here each week for some transformational tools to help you release the lies and take the next step so you can freely show up in the world offering your gifts in service to God's kingdom.

Devoted Dreamer, this is season 10. Welcome. I'm so excited to be reconnecting with you you here. In case you're new to me and the Devoted Dreamers podcast, I love supporting Christian women as they work to get free from a negative mindset and we do this by translating your Biblical knowledge what you already know from your head into your heart so you can grow in Christ centered confidence and pursue your big ambitious God shaped dreams without worrying what other people think of you. 

And we are going to jump right in -- this solo episode series is all about digging in to why so many women give up on their dreams and what you can do to avoid being one of them. 

I'm really digging deep into my heart and desire to coach devoted dreamers and to connect you with the resources that you need so that you can continue to take the next steps into your dream.

I'm going to be back here every week on Wednesday mornings; I'll be talking about what's keeping you stuck and how to get unstuck. 

And today, what I really want to kind of pour into you and focus on is this idea that. And you may even struggle hearing me say it, but this idea that you are capable of so much more than you give yourself credit for. And I mean, this has been. I've encountered this conversation or this kind of internal struggle among Christian women, probably more than just Christian women. But, um, so much in the last several years as I've talked to women about their God shaped dreams and about stepping into something that's bigger than themselves.

This is so common that we really struggle to accept and acknowledge, much less emphasize or speak to others about the abilities and capabilities that we have. Um, we, for some reason, we downplay our abilities. And if you're doubting, like, oh, that's not me, I don't do that. Picture this, you and I are sitting and having coffee and we're just talking about life. And all of a sudden I get bold and I ask you the question, do you consider yourself a leader? Do you consider yourself a leader? Or maybe it sounds something more like this. Do you see yourself as capable of accomplishing big things? Sit with that for a minute. Do you consider yourself a leader or do you see yourself capable of accomplishing big things? What's your answer to either one of those questions? I mean, pause, hit pause for a minute on this episode to really dig into that and see what your answer is to that question. Because I think you'll come back to what I was just talking about, which is this tendency that we as women have to.

To downplay our abilities or our capabilities. And we think oftentimes that someone else could do whatever it is better than us. Like certainly there's someone better at that than me. Well, yeah, I mean, it's a big world of people, right? There's a really good chance that somebody is better at that than you. There's also a really good chance that somebody is worse at it than you. But we also struggle with this. Not wanting to be seen as ambitious, not wanting to even connect that word ambition to ourselves. I have written a blog post on this and went to a couple of women's conferences here in the Denver area where this topic of ambition was so core to the conversation.

And there were women sitting at the table with me, including myself, and we were like, ye, yeah, that ambitious. That seems like a dirty word if you attach it to me or if you attach it to a woman. Right. What do we think about women who are ambitious compared to what do we think about men who are ambitious? And in addition to that, we worry excessively about what other people think of us. We don't want to be seen in a certain light. And so we have this tug of war going on inside of us because we have these passions and dreams, dare I say ambitions. We have these callings that we feel that God has put on our hearts and our lives. And yet we cower under the definition of am I a leader? Am I capable? Am I able to do what God has called me to do? And I say this as appear with you in this we it's not just you.

In fact, there are studies upon studies that show that women generally underestimate their abilities. They're less confident in their abilities than men, which leads to women not wanting to pursue future opportunities. So if you've ever read any statistics on like promotions in the workplace or how women negotiate differently than men, or think about negotiations in the workplace differently than men, as a matter of fact, one of these articles that I read on this topic said that women feel confident only when they are perfect or practically perfect. And I am. I don't even know if I can say I'm a recovering perfectionist. I really struggle with this where I feel like if I'm going to do something, I have to do it with excellence. And so I over prepare and I over script out podcast episodes and I spend way too much time planning and not actually doing because I am petrified of doing something that's not perfect. So hey, case in point.

And by the way, can you relate? But what's the downside of perfection? Right? This striving for perfection actually keeps us from getting much of anything done. And this is related to competence or how we perceive our competence. Because if you don't think you're competent, if you don't think you're good at something that you're trying, which also, by the way, if you're trying something for the first time or the second time, you're probably not going to be excellent at it. But how in the world will you ever get excellent at it without trying? But if you don't think you're competent, you're not confident in your competence, you will not take risks to pursue a dream. So if you are one of those people that has struggled to take risks to pursue a dream, I'd urge you to think about how this is potentially related to this issue of a lack of confidence in your competence. And confidence, definition wise is a belief in your ability to succeed. And it's a belief that stimulates action, meaning if you think you can do it, you will at least try. If you think you can't, you'll give up before you even begin.

So what often holds women back is the choice that we make to not even try and remember. I wanted to talk about today, how you are capable of so much more than you give yourself credit for. And what I want to reassure you of today and the way that I look at this reality of we're all kind of learning along the way, we're picking up skills and abilities. We are like, I think about my six, almost seven year old in first grade learning handwriting. Like at the beginning of the year, her handwriting looked really different than it does today in January, after she's had all these months of practice and becoming more capable and actually more confident in her ability to write. She also, interestingly enough, is reading a lot of words, kind of, you know, in the context of learning words and spelling and writing and reading. And yet she'll say to me, oh, I don't know how to read very well. I mean, how sad is that? My girl who can pick up a book or drive down the road and be like, why does that sign say blah, blah, blah? Who will say, well, well, I don't know how to read very well.

Well, if you're comparing yourself to your mommy or your daddy, sure, the comparison is that you don't maybe read as well. But guess what? You are reading. Let's think about how, you know, as children, we kind of are given permission to learn over time. Why does that change when we become adults that like, no, actually I need to have it all figured out or I can't actually do it. No, no, no, no, no, no. We're gonna defeat that right here, right now. What I want you to hear three points from this is that you do not have to have it all figured out before you start. That you do not actually even have to feel confident to start, and that you don't actually have to be incredibly competent to start.

If God has called you, he will make a way. What I want to pull into the conversation here today is a story that I have grown to just really love and go back to again and again and again from scripture. I want you to think about Moses. This is Moses in the burning bush. Moses being told by God to go to Pharaoh. Okay? So it was an ordinary day. He was tending to a flock. I think it's his father in law's flock.

And he saw something unusual off in the Distance, a burning bush, and was curious about it, like, what is that over there? I think I should go check it out. And when he arrived, God spoke to him. So God got his attention. And then God spoke to him. And God expressed attentiveness and compassion and empathy to the plight of his people. And he said straight out to Moses, I will rescue my people. And then God said he was sending Moses to help make that happen. And what happened? If you know the story, Moses rejected this idea and questioned his own ability.

But God said, I will be with you. And gave him a sign that he would be able to look at when it actually happened and look back and go, oh, right. God told me this would happen. This was the sign. But what did Moses do? He questioned and he doubted. And then God declared his own name, like he declared his sovereignty, like, I am who I am. And he gave further instruction and told Moses that the elders of Israel would listen when he spoke. What did Moses do? He questioned, he doubted again.

Then the Lord gave three miraculous signs that Moses could use and he actually like demonstrated those miracles to Moses on Moses's body for the, the leprous one. And what did Moses do after seeing three miracles by God in a conversation with God, he throws a heap of self-doubt on the conversation and says, I've never been very eloquent, you know, because God was calling him, telling him to go speak to the people. And he's seriously trying to get out of even though he Himself greatly, deeply knows the suffering of the people of Israel. And then the story goes on. The Lord declares his sovereignty over mouths, over voices, over hearing, over sight, all the interactions that Moses would be having as he's being called to speak. And God says, now go. Like I got control of this dude. Like, you can go.

I'm calling you to go. You need to go. God says, now go. I will help you speak and teach you what to say. And what does Moses say? Please send someone else. He's like, no, I do not feel like I can do this. Why in the world are you asking me to do this? And then the scripture says the Lord's anger burned against Moses. But then he comes up with a solution, of course, because he's God.

And he brings Aaron into the picture, Moses's brother, and says that he'll be the one to speak for Moses, who supposed to be speaking for God. And at the end of this whole little scenario, he says, again, I will help both of you speak and will teach you what to do. This is from Exodus 3 and 4 and I urge you, like whenever you hear scripture, to go read it for yourself. Read it in context, reflect on it, and ask God what He wants you to glean from this story and Moses's example of being called into leadership and in a manner that he felt entirely unprepared for. Of course, it's not appropriate to like, put yourself into Moses's shoes. But what I do want you to see and hear here is just God's presence in the calling, that it's possible for someone that we've heard about and known about all of our lives, at least all of our Christian lives. We've known about Moses, and he's in some cases kind of like exalted as this Bible hero. And yet he stood there in the presence of God, like in a place where God was like, you need to remove your shoes.

He stood there in the presence of God and questioned God and doubted God and doubted who God made him and doubted the things that God was saying and witnessed miracles and was like, nope, I'm sorry, I'm not believing you. Like, I am putting words in his mouth, obviously, but you know, he was so anxious about this calling, and rightfully so. God was calling him into a huge role of leadership and in something that was obviously not going to be accomplished, but God, but for God's hand upon it. But I think it is so important to realize that you are not the only one who feels called into something bigger than yourself, that this is actually a common thing that happens in scripture. And the reality that we can interpret into this conversation and put ourselves into, because God tells us that he will be with us, that he doesn't leave us alone to figure things out on our, on our own, that he desires us to dwell with him, to be in his word, to seek him, to look to him for all of the strength that we need for the things that we are asked to live out in this life. And that's what I want you to walk away with today, is that you might doubt your capability. You might struggle with self-doubt. You might believe that in order to do something, you have to do it perfect, or you might as well not do it at all.

But what God is, is calling you into is not perfection, is not ability or capability or proving to somebody else or, you know, making sure that you've got all your I's dotted and T's crossed so that nobody would think badly of you. Your calling has nothing to do with those things. The purpose that God has given you, he has given you in love and in grace and in and in mercy and he does not expect you to fulfill it with perfection. He knows you better than that, right? That your job is to be faithful and obedient to the calling if you've enjoyed this conversation, if you're ready to address more of this confidence over competence conversation in your own life, it might be time to think about hiring a coach. And as I mentioned at the beginning, I'm a dream coach and I would love to get on a call to talk this over with you and see if dream coaching might be the right next step for you. And if you are interested in doing that, you want to just kind of check it out and see what it's all about. The link to do that is merrittonsa.com/bookacall that's kind of all one word. The book a call piece.

I'll put that link in the show notes and the show description. And even if you go ahead and do that and at the end of the call we decide it's not really the right time for coaching, you've still got xyz whatever you need to do first, you are still going to walk away with 30 minutes invested in a conversation with me figuring out your next step so that you can leap the barriers to a growing confidence in Christ and an ability to pursue the dream he's put before you. Honestly, what do you have to lose? I would love to spend 30 minutes with you having this conversation. That link again is merrittonsa.com/bookacall 

Thank you so much for listening today to this first solo episode of season 10. I'm thrilled that you joined me. Don't let the conversation end here. You can connect with me and a supportive group of women dreamers over in the Devoted Dreamers Facebook group. We are building an encouraging community of like minded women because we were never meant to do this Devoted Dreamers thing alone.