Is It the Right Time to Pursue Your God-Given Dream?

~ What’s the right timing for your dream?

There’s a question I hear all the time, especially from women who already have a full life:

Is this the right time to pursue my dream?

Maybe you’ve asked it too. You’re already juggling a lot. You have people you’re caring for. And yet, somewhere in the middle of all of it, there’s this quiet idea, this pull you can’t quite shake.

But instead of moving forward, you keep circling the same thought.
Maybe later. Maybe when things calm down. Maybe when I have more time.

In this episode, I want to gently challenge those thoughts. Because sometimes what looks like a timing issue is actually something deeper. Fear. Overcommitment. Or uncertainty about what God is asking of you right now.

IF YOU’VE EVER WONDERED IF IT’S THE RIGHT TIME TO PURSUE YOUR GOD-SHAPED DREAM, THIS EPISODE IS FOR YOU.

I walk through three common mistakes we make when we think about timing and how those thoughts can quietly keep you stuck longer than you realize.

You’ll also learn how to begin discerning your next step with God, without waiting for a perfectly clear path.

In this episode I talk about:

• Why “I can always do this later” might not be as safe as it sounds 
• How being busy can mask a deeper question about obedience 
• Questions to help you discern if fear or calling is driving your hesitation 

There’s nothing wrong with wanting to be wise about your time. Scripture reminds us to number our days and live with intention. 

But wisdom doesn’t mean waiting forever. Sometimes it means asking a better question.

Not “Is this the right time?” but “God, what are You inviting me to say yes to right now?”

If you’re craving space to process that question with other women who are walking a similar road, I’d love to invite you into Dream Believers. It’s a place where you can get out of your head, hear from the Lord, and take your next step alongside women who understand what it feels like to hold both faith and a dream at the same time.

Join us here: merrittonsa.com/dreambelievers

You don’t have to figure this out alone.

And you don’t have to wait for someday to begin.

Sign up for Dream Believers. Just $49/month or $490 for the year (get 2 months free!) 

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Transcript

Merritt Onsa:

Welcome to the Devoted Dreamers Podcast. This is the show for you if you are ready to get out of your own way and get moving on your God shaped dream. I'm your host and dream coach Merritt Ansah and I'm here to help you get out of your head and into your heart so you can embrace your faith in Jesus and turn that fire into fuel for the dream he's given you. But let's be honest, you have already spent way too much time watching what everyone else is doing, comparing your beginning to their middle and sabotaging your progress before you've hardly begun. If you are ready to quit worrying about what everybody else is thinking and moving forward with purposeful action, you are in the right place. So subscribe to the show, then meet me back here each week for some transformational tools to get you on your way. Hey dreamer. You are popping right into the middle of my solo series about why so many women give up on their dreams and what you can do to avoid being one of them.

If you're new to me, maybe this is somehow the first episode that you're hearing. I urge you to go back and listen to at least the last two episodes, the ones right prior to this one, so you can join from the beginning at the top of this conversation. But if you've been with me the last couple times and you are ready to get into it, I want to start today with a little bit of a story. Picture this mom life. She's got a small baby on her hip doing all the things. Feeding, changing, getting that kid to sleep whenever she can. She's working a part time job during those naps and the little bit of childcare she can piece together with the combination of neighborhood girls, like mother's helpers, that kind of thing. You know, she's struggling with mom brain, can't remember simple things like where she put her keys or maybe that's all of us, or maybe something more, like when her niece's birthday is.

But she's a good mom. She loves her baby. She sees and experiences motherhood as a beautiful gift, even though she would admit to you it is the hardest thing she has ever done. So much harder than she expected it to be. Other people make it look like it's this simple thing that all of a sudden one day you pop this baby out and then you're a mom and you know what you're doing. But that hasn't been her experience. It has been wearying, sleepless, overwhelming at times Gosh, now that her kid is 6ish months old and they're starting to get out more and do things in the world, she's always late. Oh my dear, always late.

At least for now. It's just like late to story time at the library or late to getting the grocery shopping done or whatever it is. Like simple things she's always late to. But she's not always been that way. And so it feels unsettling now in this new season of life. And there are some days that she's just not sure how she gets through the day, but somehow she does. And the days roll into each other one after another. And yet there are these nights where she lies awake thinking, wondering, tired, but even having ideas.

Thoughts roll around in her head and preventing her from that much needed sleep. She's asking these questions of what if? She's talking to God in her mind about this idea that she has, holding on to a hope for a future, if she can even imagine a future with a smidgen of free time. You know, she had a career once, but it made sense. It made more sense to stay at home with kids, especially now. And the thought's always there. Maybe, just maybe, one day there's still that little dream in the back of her mind. And she waits and she does her motherhood thing. And kid number two comes, thankfully, thank you God, easier than the first.

That's good. That's helpful. This one actually naps when she's supposed to. Wow. And she wonders, she dares to wonder what it will be like to one day walk her eldest to the neighborhood school for kindergarten. Seems almost heavenly. Can you imagine? Free time to walk home pushing a baby in a stroller that is actually a good sleeper. But hold on, that day's not here yet.

So she continues working a little part time job at night during nap time while her kids do some semi supervised crafting on the kitchen table. Yes, that is a little bit dangerous. But. But the dream, the dream is still there. It just flickers and grows a little bit and then dies a little bit. And it burns in her heart and then it fades. But over time, days, weeks of kids and mom life and family life, the idea that there may be a chance for her little dream is still there. And she starts to dabble with a few ideas, wondering what.

What would it actually look like to step into this thing? I mean, if it could even work and if it would be worth it just to invest a few more hours of childcare. I wonder, I wonder what could I do with just A few more hours, you know, to test it out. And the more she thinks about it, the more excited and maybe a little scared she gets. And then one day she sets a goal, a deadline, a date by which she is going to figure it out. She's got a to do list of the things that need to be figured out, researched, learned about, and then she's going to take the leap. She sets her mind to it, she's prayed about it, she's asked the questions she needs to ask. And when June 1st arrived, she launched and it changed everything. Today's episode, in case you couldn't tell from the title, we're talking about timing.

This question comes up a lot. I hear it a lot, especially from you moms out there or those of you that have a full time job. Is the timing right? For my dream. And I get it, our lives are so full. But I think if the question that you're asking is, is this the right timing? You're asking the wrong question. What's the right question? Well, the right question may be is there something I'm avoiding because it feels difficult or because I don't know how to begin? Don't hear me say that timing is not important. Timing is so important. I mean, there are some of you out there where this is just not the time for very specific reasons.

But I'm going to push back on the timing question for others of you where that answer is just not so obvious. And then that's why I want to talk today about could the question about timing really be an indication that there's something else that you're a little bit more worried about than timing? There's this verse in the Psalms that I think plays well into this conversation. It's Psalm 90:12, and I'm reading it from the NIV and it says, teach us to number our days that we may gain a heart of wisdom. So it's important, right? It's important to note that we have a limited number of days here on this earth and we want that to inform the choices that we make with wisdom, right? Teach us to number our days that we may gain a heart of wisdom. So if timing has been one of the barriers for you, if it's been a question that's been burning in your heart all this time as you've been listening to the Devoted Dreamers podcast and wondering if it's time for you to take the next step, I want to discuss today three mistakes that we can make when we're asking this question. Is this the right timing for My dream. And so let's talk about that. And then we're going to kind of answer how do we figure this out a little bit later on in the episode? So mistake number one, when we think about timing, is thinking, I can always do this later.

And I have to ask you, when is later? Is it somewhere in the window of time that you think you'll finally finish your second child's baby book? I haven't finished my first child's baby book. So, yeah, the second one is probably not happening, or at least not in the way that I imagined that it would, because our time is limited, our days are limited, our life is limited. And when it comes to a baby book, I mean, I've got the pictures, right? That's not the problem. It's that I actually want to be with the child instead of spending time creating a book for her about all of her memories of us being together or not being together, because I'm too busy working on the book. Right. Anyway, that is a side note. But our days being limited, our time being limited, I think we are possibly collectively as a society, maybe a little bit more aware of this. Now, for me, specific to where I live near Boulder, Colorado, after a major disaster, just seven minutes away from our home, where a thousand homes were lost in just a few hours time in a massive grass fire, it was gone.

Like that. Like gone. Everything could be taken away tomorrow. And as I began to kind of look through scripture and say, okay, what else does God's word say about postponing or putting something off or saving something for tomorrow? And I found three verses. I'm sure there's more, but these are the ones that immediately kind of came to mind. And I thought I would share with you today. So Luke 12, 1621, this is the parable of the rich fool. You might go read that.

But it's this definitely this idea that we are not promised tomorrow. This rich young man stores up for himself, but he was not rich toward God. And God ended his life after he had stored all this stuff away for tomorrow. And so we're not promised that we're going to get to have a tomorrow. Proverbs 27:1 quoting, do not boast about tomorrow, for you do not know what a day may bring. That's the NIV. And then Isaiah 56:12 come, each one cries, let me get wine. Let us drink our fill of beer.

And tomorrow will be like today, or even far better. I think what God is trying to impress upon our hearts is that we have this idea that Every day is just gonna keep going along, but the time will come when that is no longer the case for all of us. So mistake number one is putting something off till tomorrow, thinking I can always do it later. The reality is there may not be a later. Mistake number two, when questioning if this is the right timing for my dream, is thinking I'm too busy to take on something new right now. And that may be true for you, that may be just the straight out reality for you. But the reason I bring this one up and as a mistake that we could potentially make, is that if God has put something on your heart, it's probably not for 25 years from now, or maybe even five years from now. He might give you a little glimmer, but if there's this like, clear sense of like, wow, you've put this on my heart.

It connects to my gifts and talents and passions and life experiences. Thinking I'm too busy to take on something new right now might actually be the wrong question. The right question in this case may be, do I need to make space? Is this going to become an obedience question? Is God putting this here for me to say yes to? If it's here for you now, maybe it's an opportunity for you to look at what you've already said yes to and determine if those were the right yeses or if it's time to say no to something that you've already said yes to, to say. Okay, this season of doing XYZ externally outside of my home, that may, we just may need to put a bow on that for now so that I can be obedient to what God has called me to and spend the time I was spending over here doing whatever volunteer endeavor or other activity, maybe for a season. I need to investigate trading these two things out so that I can be obedient to something that God has put on my heart. Okay, and then mistake number three in our thinking sounds like this. If it's something that I want, desire, or feel passionate about, it's selfish for me to pursue it while I still have kids at home. You know, I think this is a real question.

I'm not trying to discount any of the questions that may be rolling around in your head and the, and the real struggles and deliberations that you're having as God has given you an idea, a dream to pursue. But if the question is, is this selfish? If I take time away from my kids, am I being selfish? And you will need to deliberate this for your own circumstances with your Father in heaven and with the people who matter in your life. As far as how do I test whether my desires are selfish or whether I'm using that as an excuse? Because right we, we make these declarations and sometimes the reality is they're an excuse. Just because you want something or desire or feel passionate about it doesn't mean that it's selfish. In fact, you having interests outside the bubble of your home, outside the experience of your kids, that's actually really, really good for your kids to see that they are not the be all, end all of your lives. And I think some of us who spend a lot of time with our kids struggle with finding, you know, there may not be a balance, but some sort of like regular meaningful way to step away from the role of mother. Because it is just a role. It's a very important role and responsibility, but it's just a role.

You have other important roles your life, a daughter of the king, good chance you're a wife as well as a mother. And you know my situation. I have parents so that are very near and dear to us and I have a responsibility as a daughter to them. I am a sister, I am a church member and the list goes on, right? And so for you to pursue something and, and let me specifically categorize my definition of a God shaped dream as far as who's the dream for. The dream has to serve someone other than yourself in order for it to, in my mind, qualify to be a God shaped dream. And so I think it's really important if this is a concern that you're having about pursuing a dream, whether maybe this is an excuse to not jump off that cliff or a real issue that needs to be taken into consideration with the people that matter. Just because you're passionate about it doesn't mean it's selfish to pursue. Just because you're passionate about it doesn't mean it's selfish to pursue.

If God has given you, like I said, life experiences, a passion for a group of people or a place or community, skills and abilities and talents, he's given you those to use, to use. Not to hide away, not to save for later. And so it is possible. I know some of you are out there asking if it's even possible, much less selfish, is it possible for me to do this with kids? And I would tell you that it is possible. It might look really different than what you expect, but it is possible. So again, I call these three mistakes, right? The three mistakes that you could make when you're asking this question about timing and a lot of times when we're asking these questions, of course they can be well intentioned and completely legit, like you just had a baby last week. So the timing is not ideal for you to start working on a God shaped dream today. But honestly, it depends.

And better than asking, is this the right timing for my dream? Likely with the assumption that you wouldn't be asking if you thought the timing was spot on. The better question is if God is revealing a dream to me, are my current yeses the right yeses and are my current nos the right no's or do I need to begin praying now about making some adjustments? Meaning time, though you say it's the issue, may not be the actual issue. Time might just be your excuse. Like if Moses had replied to God when he was called to go to Pharaoh, if he'd said, oh God, I'm really busy right now making bricks with my family and you know, I just, I'm not gonna be able to make it today. Sorry, yeah, that's not gonna fly. So how do you begin to figure this thing out alongside the Lord? I've got some steps for you and this may be the segment of this episode where you might want to take a few notes. I will put some of this in the show notes as well, but I would always recommend starting with prayer and time in God's word. And the prayer might be as simple as, lord, teach me to number my days.

Lord, please give me a heart of wisdom. Lord, show me if I'm making an excuse to avoid confronting my own fears. And so practically, how do you determine, in addition to prayer with the God of the universe who knows all things, how do you determine if this is the right timing for your dream? And let's just lay the foundation here of some actual concerns you may have from the beginning. So I want to legitimately that if any of these things connect with you, as far as time being a legit issue, I am with you. These are real concerns and they must be taken into consideration. But number one, I have small kids at home. I've got a couple of mops talks episodes that I could share with you. I will put those in the show notes.

But what do we do if we have small kids at home? How in the world would we pursue a dream? How would we find those little pockets of time to do that? Here's another one. I'm homeschooling. So they're not just little, they're bigger and they're busy and they have lots of questions and needs and we connect face to face. For lots of hours during the day. That's a legit time. Question number three, I don't have the money to invest. Let me tell you, I've got a series coming up for you, probably March ish, about finding financial support for pursuing your dream or figuring out how to find the funds to pursue a dream. Yes, that does potentially cost you some time.

So stay tuned for that. Number four. I'm not sure God is calling me to do it right now. Okay, you're not sure he's calling you to do it right now. How are you going to get sure on that? That's a, that's a follow up question that's really important to ask if that's one of your actual true legit concerns. A fifth one, I don't think my husband or partner would support me. That one is a big deal for sure and I think it's an important one to address. But specifically, if the question or if the thought is I don't think my husband or partner would support me, how could you begin to have some conversations with that person to figure out if that's just a fear, like if that's something that you've made up in your head or that you have batted around in your mind way too many times without actually putting the question on the table to have the conversation? Because sometimes I think you might be surprised with the answer.

And then the last one on this list is I'm already working or otherwise over committed. Where would I find the time? And I do think also an important actual legit concern of something to look at and consider where that lands in the priorities, the already working or whatever you've over committed yourself to and this dream that God's put on your heart, where do those fall in the ranking of importance? Considering am I being disobedient if I say no to the dream right now or is God giving me the go ahead to continue to do the work that I'm doing and you know, maybe even scale back if that's a financial possibility for your family and the work that you're doing. But these are all each of these six bullet points. Really important to be in prayer to connect with your community, your, your spouse, like the, the closest people to you that know you know your story and can help you work through some of these actual concerns. Okay, so here's some action items. Number one, and this will help you even with some of the things we just talked about. Number one, take inventory of all the things you do currently and everything you've said yes to for the future. So if you're a person that like books things out on the calendar, you know, weeks or months in advance, like maybe look at all of 2022 and take inventory of all those things.

And what that actually means is I would set aside a couple of hours to look at your calendar. Make lists that are categorized based on your major responsibilities. So your immediate family, extended family, care for your home, any work inside or outside the home, your personal wellness, your children and their needs and their commitments, volunteer work, church, community, something in your neighborhood, maybe that you're, you've committed to, things related to your kids, school or schooling, other organizations that you're serving or supporting. I mean, the list goes on, right? And I would encourage you to document this so you can either sit down and look at what's already planned out. Like if you're a big planner and it's all written down already somewhere, then sit down and look at that. And if you don't have it already written down, and some of these things I'm guessing you don't have written down, like when you clean your home or when you are going to work out or build relationships in your neighborhood, like those things probably aren't connected to an appointment. So also in addition to appointments that you already have written down, I would encourage you to, for one week's time, if you do a lot of weekly engagements, track your time. Like you would track your spending or your eating.

Like, like have a sheet of paper or a, you know, something in your planner where you've maybe even retroactively blocked out, you know, from 1 to 3 today I did this, and from, you know, 6 to 7 we had dinner or you know, whatever it is, so that you can look and see where the open pockets of time are, if there are any. And if you are the kind of person that has a lot of more monthly or bimonthly responsibilities, then you might want to figure out how to do that for a month's period of time. Maybe all your Mondays look the same so you wouldn't have to like track every Monday. But I think taking an inventory and knowing exactly how you're spending your time, I mean, you know, to the 15 minute increment at a minimum. You don't need to document for one minute I went to the bathroom anyway. So whatever time frame you select, I want you to include how much time, track how much time you are currently spending on your God shaped dream. Also include how much time you currently spend on social media, and also include how much time you currently spend listening to podcasts watching tv, Netflix, audiobooks, those kinds of things. And I want you to know before you start doing this, this is a no judgment zone.

Like if you were trying to create a spending plan or a budget for the first time, you have to begin by examining what the reality is before you can propose making any changes to re to your reality. It is not helpful to judge right or wrong as you're documenting these things. But if you could do a week, like, what is an average week look like for me? Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, and what am I doing? How am I spending my time? Without judgment, without judgment. Do not put good or bad characterization on the things that you're writing down. Because it's not helpful to rehearse any old shame cycles that say anything about your choices or any current shame cycles. But it's not helpful to pile on as you're trying to do this like activity of beginning to understand the reality of the current situation. You are just documenting details so that you can make a realistic assessment of how you might adjust in the future. If it's time to make time for your dream, I want you to give yourself the necessary time to go through this exercise because it should be enlightening.

Like, even if you did this for three days, it should be enlightening about where your pockets of time are or where you are spending time that could be spent on something else. I don't want to say unnecessary, but you, you could make a choice to spend that time on something else. But if once you've done this activity and you're struggling to glean anything from it, that would be a good time, I think, to sit down with someone who has an outside perspective and could ask you some good questions to help get below the surface. Like, and what I'm saying is, if you do this for a week and you're not seeing any patterns and you feel really hopeless and you're like, I have no free time, I have no pockets. There's nothing I can give up on or let go of. Let's say that there's nothing I can let go of to make space for something new. Find a mentor, a friend from Bible study or from church or from your small group or somebody that you can go to and say, hey, I'm really struggling with time and investment of my time and I've done this exercise. Could you sit down with me and ask me some questions about what I've documented in a no judgment zone.

I just want somebody to help me reflect on my reality. Somebody who can ask you good questions. I hope you have somebody in your life that can do that for you. And then as you're digging a little deeper, as you have done this reflection, as you find out some realities about how you're spending your time, I want you to put these questions kind of in the back of your mind or write them down so that you can ask them when the exercise is over. Am I more afraid or am I more excited? When I think about my God shaped dream, am I more afraid or am I more excited? Jeremiah 17:9-10 says, the heart is deceitful above all things and desperately sick. Who can understand it? And then this is in quotes. I the Lord search the heart and test the mind to give every man according to his ways, according to the fruit of his deeds. Sit with the Lord daily if you can, for a period of time, maybe for a week, asking him to search your heart, test your mind, and reveal to you what he wants you to know about what you've uncovered about your time.

Because if you fall into the camp of more afraid, I think about my God shaped dream and I'm more afraid than I am excited. I encourage you to check your resistance. This is action item number two. So before you say no or put off a dream for another time, for some tomorrow in the future, I want you to ask yourself some questions. Maybe journal, if you're a journaler, if you are a verbal processor and you have a friend that can do this with you or like do it on your audio notes app in your phone, but speak the answers to these questions out loud and process what it is. If you're more afraid of your dream and this issue of time is what's blocking you, Ask yourself, do I idolize comfort and the idea of staying within my comfort zone instead of leaving it? Ask yourself, am I avoiding God on this topic? And if I'm avoiding talking to God about this topic, what is it that I'm afraid of? And specifically question number three, what are the thoughts that come up when I consider the dream? What are the thoughts and the feelings? What are the thoughts and feelings that come up when I consider my God shaped dream? And then question number four, is there something I could let go of that's not primary? Like loving God, loving neighbor, caring for your kids, loving your husband? That would make space for my dream and am I willing to consider letting it go? Is there something I could let go of that's not primary that would help make space for the dream? And am I willing to consider letting it go? And if you fall in the camp of Being more excited about your dream and you're like a go getter. And why in the world is Merit even talking about this timing issue? Because I'm ready to do it yesterday. Action item number three.

Test your desires before you jump into a dream. Ask some questions like number one, am I trying to find my value, worth or identity in pursuing a dream? P S this will always fail you. Question number two, am I in a healthy space mentally and emotionally right now to begin taking on greater responsibility and you know, need I say burden because it is there, there will be some burden to it of pursuing a God shaped dream? And then question number three, have I considered how the dream will impact me and or my family? And question number four, have I talked to my biblical community about this and what do they say? So we've spent a bit of time today talking about timing and this question of timing is the timing right for me and my God shaped dream? And what I want you to hear is that question may just be too simple to really encompass all of what might be going on within you if, well, I just don't really have time is what's coming up for you right now. When God plants this idea in your head and your heart, if that's an easy like oh God, I just don't have time for it. I urge you to maybe even re listen to this again and think back and ask the Lord like, like have I even talked to you about this God? Or am I just like making a quick decision that I do not have the time, I do not have the bandwidth. My life is completely out of balance already. There's more to the conversation.

If you're a Christian woman who is ready to finally get moving on a passion project so you can step into your gifting and you want to get a clear plan for how to do that and you're done being a spectator to everyone else's dreams. I want to have a conversation with you. 

I tell you this is my passion and my gifting to walk you through what it takes to move a project from your imagination to implementation. And I am currently booking free 30 minute discovery calls right now. All you have to do is go to merrittonsa.com/bookacall and answer a few questions so we can get that conversation on the calendar again. The link is merrittonsa.com/bookacall My friend, thank you so much for listening today. I hope you don't let the conversation end here because we were never meant to do this God shaped dream thing alone.