How God Uses a Season of Waiting

~ Have you ever felt like you were in a holding pattern with your dream?

If you’re wondering what to do with a season of waiting, this episode is for you. I'm so glad you're here.

This is Part 2 of my conversation with Heather Holleman, author, speaker, and Penn State instructor who has spent decades helping women fall in love with God's Word. 

This half of the conversation might be the most practically encouraging thing I've shared in a long time.

We pick up right where we left off in the previous episode (#363), and Heather gets honest about what to do when you're in a slow season, when your dream feels buried, and when you're not sure what the next step even is.

Here's some of what we cover:

• The five file folder strategy Heather used during a season of preparation and how it became the foundation for everything God has built in her life
• What changes when you put worship before the dream
• The question Heather says every dreamer needs to ask

What I love about Heather is that she never lets the dream become bigger than the dream maker. 

She reminds us that we are chosen by God for His purposes and that the work He has prepared for us will come as we abide in Him, not as we hustle our way toward it.

If you are a midlife Christian woman who wants to pursue a dream God has placed on your heart but you're tired of striving, this conversation is going to feel like a deep breath.

Heather also pointed us to Ephesians, especially chapters 1 and 2, as a foundation for understanding who we are in Christ before we go chasing any dream. I'd love for you to read it alongside this episode.

If you missed part 1, go back and listen to Episode 363. Then come back here and let Heather finish what she started. 

And if you're looking for a community of women who take both faith and dreams seriously, come find us at Dream Believers. It is one of my favorite places on the internet, and I'd love to have you there.

👉 merrittonsa.com/dreambelievers
 
 

🔗 Connect with Heather Holleman

Website: https://heatherholleman.com/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/writer.heatherholleman/ 
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/heatherholleman/
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/heather-holleman-6b101941/ 

Devoted Dreamers is hosted by Merritt Onsa — Christian life coach, mentor, speaker, and founder of the Dream Believers community. New episodes drop every week for the woman who believes her best chapter isn't behind her.

Sign up for Dream Believers. Just $49/month or $490 for the year (get 2 months free!) 

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Transcript

Merritt Onsa (00:07)

Welcome, Dreamer. I'm so glad you're here. I'm Merritt Onsa, a Christian life coach and host of the Devoted Dreamers Podcast, a podcast for Christian women in midlife who are pursuing a God-shaped dream. 

And this month we're celebrating 10 years of the Devoted Dreamers Podcast with some of my favorite episodes from the past decade. If you were here last week for episode 363, When Scripture Is the Anchor for Your Dream, you already know how good this conversation is.

And if this is your first time joining us, I want to invite you to go back and listen to that episode first. It will make everything we talk about today even richer. Today I'm bringing you part two of my conversation with Heather Holleman. Heather is an author, speaker, a college instructor who has spent her life helping women fall in love with God's word. 

And in this half of our conversation, she gets practical. We are talking about what to do when your dream feels buried, how she used a season of years at home with young children to quietly prepare for what God was going to call her to next, and why abiding in Christ matters more than any plan you could make for yourself or for your dream. If your dream feels a little quiet right now, stay with me. 

This one is for you.

Let's jump right in where we left off.

Merritt Onsa (01:33)

Well, we've already shared a lot of really helpful encouragement, but for the listener who's out there thinking, well, I'm nowhere near having any kind of fame and I'm not sure what my dream is, or how to even, if I do know, how to even take the next step toward it or find the time to take the next step toward it. What advice would you give to her?

Heather Holleman (02:01)

Well, I remember back when I had babies at home and I was just home with my children, I clearly remember feeling like I was in a season of preparation. And I called it my season of preparation. And it lasted five years. And in that season, I read God's word every day. I began to pray: What do you want in this next decade? What do I need to know that I don't know? And a great, great advice I received from the book.

Called A Woman After God's Heart by Elizabeth George. She talks about having five file folders. And you're gonna love this. I mean, literally, buy five file folders and write five ways that you want to become an expert in your life. And think about five things that you wanna be so good at that you could bless the world because of your expertise in those areas. So all those years ago, in the bitter cold Michigan winter when I was home with my babies, I thought, you know what? I really want to become good in these five areas to bless the world. 

And the five areas I chose back then were evangelism. I really wanted to know how to share my faith well, hospitality, prayer. I wanted to learn how to pray. I wanted to learn how to become a fantastic writer. What would it mean for me? Because I loved writing and I wanted to become really good at it, and then teaching.

And then what you do with your five file folders is whenever you learn anything, say you listen to a sermon, you read a magazine article, you watch a YouTube video, hear a podcast, you populate your file folders with all the knowledge God is teaching you about those things. 

Now, wouldn't you know that now, 20 years later, God has borne so much fruit from my five file folders. So I teach at Penn State, He made me a writer. But of course the book contract came 15 years later. 

So think about the season of preparation because if you think about the well and also too with the the neighborhood ministry, if you read Seated with Christ, you'll learn about how God used hospitality, how he uses prayer, all of that. 

But I really believe that when you look at the metaphor of gardening and how God talks in John 15 about bearing fruit. I really believe in that season of where your dream is buried like a seed in the dark. It's it feels dead, but it's not dead. It's not dead, it's preparing, it's germinating. 

And so to trust God with the timing, and when you don't see anything changing, it is your season of preparation. And it's so beautiful just to pray. To go as deep as you can with the Lord, to study, to think: What tools will I need if my dream came true? 

That's actually a really good question because say you have a dream and you're thinking, I just need this dream to happen. Well, what skills are you gonna need if this dream actually comes true? 

So once I learned that I would have a book contract, my five file folders have changed. And now I'm learning about how to worship God wherever I am, because I really want to grow as a worshiper as my primary calling. And that really helps me with travel anxiety because I'm like, Jesus, I worship you anywhere because I'm, you know, traveling a lot. 

The other thing I'm learning is how to be in public in a way that honors God. So all that I'm talking about with pride, I'm learning a lot about social media and, you know, how to kind of find mentors in that area, people who've gone before me. 

And then learning more how to write in a way, my writing file folder has changed because even yesterday I did a lecture for my students on the micro message, which is how to write in a way that is memorable and something that someone could tweet or have a hashtag for because the way we communicate has changed. People don't enjoy the long, well-thought-out argument. They're more quickly passing things around. And so just how to write in that way. So things like that.

Merritt Onsa (06:16)

Wow! And so are these files on your computer?

Heather Holleman (06:19)

Well, yeah, because well, back twenty-five years ago they were literal they were physical file folders. But now I do have files open. 

Like a lot of people do ask me, like, how are you able to produce so much? You know, write a book a year, do all these different things, teach, you know. Well, part of it is I'm constantly putting things in those folders. 

So my evangelism folder now is different because when my girls were young, I could gather so many families together because our kids were in the same stage of life. But now evangelism in my neighborhood looks so different because everyone's off doing their own thing. I mean, Sarah has a part time job. Kate is out and about all the time. 

And even last night, Ash and I sat at the table and I said, you know, how can we use our resources to bless our community? Should we start a dinner club for just the adults because none of the kids are around anymore? Should we start… So even last night we were brainstorming, okay, in our particular community, what is the need? And then how can we grow to meet that need? So we're trying to get information about ways to bless people, learning about dinner clubs, learning about ways to gather people. He might even start a running club for teens because he goes running with my girl. 

So those are things you kind of keep up on your computer. And whenever you learn information, put it in that folder. So maybe you have a folder on evangelism and every time you learn something or find a article or hear a good story, you type it up and put it in there. 

So I'm really organized with it; I don't like losing information. So yeah. So now they would be on your computer or on your phone. You know, keep notes and

Merritt Onsa (08:00)

Yeah. Evernote or something like that.

Heather Holleman (08:02)

Yes. But I do keep Microsoft Word open ⁓ all the time with for ideas. Yeah. 

Especially if I read a passage of scripture like ⁓ I'll just give you real time, real time file folder. I was reading in Colossians where it says, “Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly.” And I was looking at that verb dwell, like where else do you see them imagining God's word living, like dwelling in you? I just thought it was so beautiful. And I thought maybe I'll write a book about How to let God's word dwell. And I would call it Dwell. Do you love it? Just dwell. 

Merritt Onsa

I love it. 

Heather Holleman 

And then helping women connect with God's word again. I don't know. That's like a that's one thing. So I have a that document is up. In case I learn something, I'll just stick it in there. Yeah, you gotta find a way to organize your dreams. 

But to answer the original question, my best advice is you bear fruit when you abide. So do that season of preparation. It could be a week. It could be 15 years. 

And just ask God, you know, what do I need? What how what do how do I need to grow? How do I need to understand what you're doing in my life? And how do you want to bear fruit through my life? 

And He will tell you the Holy Spirit's a great counselor. He's not hiding from you or trying to trick you. He provides wisdom. His word says he instructs you in the way chosen for you and it also says he will fulfill his purpose for you. So you don't need to worry.

Merritt Onsa (09:35)

Well, and I just love that position of humility and trusting that he's got this. Like we try to hustle and figure it out and it's our timeline, not his. And switching that into a place of okay, Lord, teach me, you know, show me. Like I don't know everything right now, clearly. 

Merritt Onsa (10:03)

And just that whole thing that you talked about, the season of preparation, it just reminded me how much, you know, we talk about dreams so much on this podcast, but the reason we talk about it is because of the Lord and because whatever he's given us to do, it's intended for his glory, not ours. And it's intended for you know, to grow us closer to him because we so desperately need his help in pursuing things that feel scary or bigger than us. 

And I just appreciated that so much, just kind of pointing us back to why dreams matter.

Heather Holleman (10:42)

Yes, exactly, exactly. Good words, yes.

Merritt Onsa (10:47)

So share with us some resources that you would recommend for listeners for encouragement in taking their next step.

Heather Holleman (11:01)

Well, what I would do is if I were listening and I were listening to me, this is this is my best advice. I would spend some time reading Ephesians 1. Actually, the whole book of Ephesians. Study Ephesians because if you don't have a sense of identity and who you are in Christ and why he chose you for himself, you're just gonna live a life of confusion and striving, always thinking, like, I need this thing in order to prove who I am. 

But the beautiful thing about scripture is Ephesians teaches you who you are. And you're gonna learn why God chose you for himself. And you're gonna learn that primarily you're a worshiper. You're chosen to belong to a new family, which is a family of God, you're chosen as his treasured possession. You're chosen to display his power in your ordinary day. You're just gonna love Ephesians. 

And then, and then ask yourself, okay, God, you chose, your word says you chose me and appointed me to bear fruit. Well, what people forget is that's only one of the reasons God chose you. He actually chose you to worship him and be conformed to his image, to become like his Son. So I would put the dream second and put the worship first by reading Ephesians. 

And then if you want to read, of course, my own journey through healing from looking to achievement, thinking I needed more money, believing that my appearance mattered more than anything else, I wrote Seated with Christ because as I was battling my own sense of identity and wanting my own dreams to come true, God really intervened with Ephesians 2 and was like, Well, actually, the dream for your life has already come true. You're already at the table that you've been longing for all your life. You have the dream. Now stop thinking about achievement and start thinking about abiding and the good works I've prepared for you will inevitably come about. Because the end of Ephesians 2 says we're his workmanship created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do. So Ephesians, you're welcome to read Seated with Christ. 

And then, I guess, yeah, just find the who God has put you in community with and begin asking them about what you should do. I mean, I didn't want to write a Bible study, and my friend Hannah was like, What are you talking about? You love God's word. All you do is talk about God's word. You have to write a Bible study. So sometimes it's other people. 

Or like whenever I want to quit teaching because I'm burnt out, my husband will say, No, no, no. God made you to be a teacher. You come alive in the classroom. You're a teacher. 

So sometimes he you need that body of believers to say, Look, I see this gift in you. I see that you are gifted in this area. And then so you gotta kind of find people who will speak life into the dream. Cause we're actually participating in this whole journey together. So, you know, bring other people into your dream, yes.

Merritt Onsa (14:15)

And that reminds me that really our dreams are not about us. Our dreams are our service to others and how like you've just been talking about hospitality and building community and pouring into other women so that they would know God's word. Like it's really not about you. It's about what God's using you for in others' lives. So that's really helpful.

Heather Holleman (14:40)

I teach professional development at Penn State. So pretty much every conversation I have with juniors and seniors is about their dreams. And the problem is they are filled with anxiety, they get depressed, they cry, because if they don't see themselves advancing in the direction of their dream, they fall apart.

That's why, when they're believers, I'm able to say to them, you're really chosen for a person, not a plan. Like go back to Jesus. You know what I mean? Getting them off the… And then if it just what it means in our culture that this, you know, culture of comparison about dreams and I need this, I need this. Plus you see all these people pursuing their dreams on social media. 

I would say it is okay. You can start really small.

You will find life in Jesus and with the community He's placed you in. You don't need to worry. Your dreams will come about, but you don't need to worry. So.

Merritt Onsa (15:42)

We're instructed not to worry.

Heather Holleman (15:44)

Yeah, exactly. Fret not. It only leads to sin.

Merritt Onsa (15:47)

You keep talking about Seated in Christ.

Heather Holleman (15:49)

Well, It was so life changing. I mean, it's a book where after I wrote it, people were like, Heather, what has happened to you? You have become a different person. So it's a very honest book about that transformation, just reading Ephesians 2 and how my life changed when I realized I already had a seat at the table my heart was longing for so.

Merritt Onsa (16:11)

Well, know you wrote about that a little bit in the Included in Christ Bible study. Very familiar to me. Well, and that's a great transition just to my last question. 

Let me first just say thank you. You've really blessed me and the listeners, I think, today. 

I appreciate just the model that you are to be in God's word and how fruitful that's been in your life and how much promise there is for us if we invest our time and our energy there. 

So thank you for that.

Heather Holleman (16:49)

You’re welcome, you're welcome.

Merritt Onsa (16:52)

So to finish us out, will you just talk kind of how overarching, how has this experience of following your dream, of listening to God, of you know, going through that season of preparation so many years ago, how has all of that changed you?

Heather Holleman (17:13)

Well, I would say I've learned to do things that help me worship Jesus more. And if the thing I'm doing doesn't help me worship him and love others more, I don't need it in my life. So that's what's changed. That everything has become about him, meaning seeing divine activity wherever I go is new. 

I mean, I battled depression and anxiety for many years, but now the biggest change in me is waking up with joy because I know I'm gonna see God work today. I'm gonna see him in one of three ways. I'll see his providential care for me because I'm his treasured possession. Hello, 1 Peter. I will also see that he is my provider because if you know anything about scripture, Old Testament to the New, God cannot help but provide for you. That is his nature.

So I wake up and I tell the girls, you know, we're his treasured possession. Let's look for ways he's gonna meet all of our needs according to his glorious riches today. 

And then the third way is everything about my life has changed to become an eternal perspective, meaning I realize that I cannot take anything with me. I mean, the only things that are eternal are God's word, God himself, and God's people. So I really believe that if you read scripture, you cannot get away from your primary calling as seeking and saving the lost. 

I didn't want to be an evangelist. I don't wake up and I never woke up and said, my dream in life is to be an evangelist. But what happened was as I read the New Testament and I realized that when Jesus calls the disciples, he says, follow me and I will I will make you fish for people. And then when I read 2 Corinthians 5, that he chose me to make his appeal through me, that I was an ambassador and Jesus was reaching out through me to people and I was radiating the fragrance of Christ wherever I went, that became the primary dream for me. 

And I didn't choose that for myself. God, that is the biggest change in me is everything is about, everything about this day is who needs you, God? How can I pronounce a blessing or lead them to you? 

And really it sounds really boring. I'm worried that people listening are gonna be like, she must have the most boring life.

No, I have more joy and peace than I ever imagined if you told me as a twenty-one-year-old that I'd be settled in a small Pennsylvania neighborhood, living a very seemingly ordinary life, but it would be so filled with joy and peace. Like I would not have believed it. I would have thought, I don't know. I just cannot believe that the fruit of the spirit is so powerful just to have his joy and peace each day. 

So that's how the journeys changed me, made me a worshiper and an evangelist.

Merritt Onsa (19:57)

If you have ever felt like your dream might be dead, this was the episode for you. 

Wow, you guys, I'm walking away from this conversation with Heather, both encouraged and so convicted to spend more time in God's Word. Because I do deeply believe what she said, that his word transforms us, it breathes life into us, and it's so, so powerful for our lives and our dreams.

And as I said at the beginning of the conversation with her, I really feel this connection to Heather, though we only just met today but it's because of the role that her Included in Christ Bible study played in the story of pursuing my dream of hosting a women's retreat. 

And her words were so powerful, her work is so powerful, and there was so much goodness in this conversation, it was really difficult for me to narrow it down to three takeaways. 

But here's what I've got for you:

Number one, that we can be deceived into thinking there is life in the dream instead of finding life in the dream maker. And I feel like that's just such a helpful warning from a woman with great wisdom, that it's really it's not about the dream. It's about him. It's about how we connect with him through this dream, how we trust in him and as she said, submit our lives to him, that our lives are crucified with Christ. And so that was super helpful. 

Then number two, the incredible power and joy in living for the praise of God's glory, as it says in Ephesians 1:12. And Heather's daily practice of confessing that sin of self-exaltation. You may not have a dream that puts you in the spotlight, but even in the context of just examining our social media usage and our heart behind it, I feel like there's so much temptation in our world right now to be self-focused and self-engrossed. And just that simple correction of like Lord, see me where I'm at and help me to live today for you, for your Spirit that lives in me and not for myself. That was really helpful and convicting as well. 

And then finally, number three, that often the Lord takes us through a season of preparation. Some of you might be feeling that right now. Like you might feel like your dream is dead or you're just not sure where it is. 

But it just might be that you're in a season of preparation, one that's maybe long, like Heather's five years, or maybe it's short, but I think we can take the example from the book she mentioned, A Woman After God's Heart, and consider those five areas where prayerfully we can ask, like, how might you have us grow? What might we need to learn or become an expert at so that when this season of preparation is over, we're ready to jump in to whatever God's calling us to.

And I just wanted to say thanks to JN Matheson, who shared a review last month entitled So Encouraging. 

She says: Thank you so much for the work you do to encourage women in their walk with Christ. I discovered your podcast at some point last year, and I loved listening to it. It is so good. I'm truly encouraged by each episode I listen to and walk away challenged too. The women you feature are incredible and encourage me to walk forward in the dreams God has for me.

Jessica, I know who you are. Thank you so much for your kind review. It's my pleasure to do this work, and it's such a joy to meet each guest I get to talk to. And thank you for affirming that it has been encouraging and challenging to you as well. 

And hey, if you're enjoying the podcast, this would be a great time to share it with a friend before you close your app and go on to the next thing.

Maybe this particular episode with Heather Holleman would be helpful to someone you know. You can easily share it through the podcast app you're using to listen right now. But it's your personal recommendations that help people connect to the show and feel like it might be relevant for them. I so appreciate every time you do that, because I'm watching the podcast grow and I know that you're a part of it. So thank you.

Merritt Onsa (24:24)

And with that, we're wrapping up my conversation with Heather Holleman. To be honest, I loved it even more the second time. 

And as I prepared to share this episode with you, it's no coincidence that I'm studying Ephesians with some friends right now. So I went back to Ephesians 2, and I want to share a verse that we didn't discuss today, but holds a powerful reminder. And I think it's going to help close us out of this conversation. 

So, Paul, in Ephesians 2:19 is writing about how we are fellow citizens with God's people and members of his household, and how Christ Jesus is the cornerstone of that household. And in verse 22, he writes, and this is a quote “In him, you too are being built together to become a dwelling in which God lives by his spirit.” 

“A dwelling in which God lives by his spirit.” 

This is something that a lot of us know intellectually, but I have to ask: do we really grasp the reality that the Spirit of God lives in us if we're believers? That He is building us up and empowering us. God's Spirit is doing that. He's giving us purpose, as Heather said, to worship Him, and he invites us into a story that he's writing in the world. 

Elsewhere, he calls us his masterpiece, his treasured possession. And it is by those truths that we desire to live for him, for the praise of his glory, and to walk by faith as we abide with him. 

I don't know where you are with your big dream or your goals right now. If you're in a season of preparation or waiting, if God feels quiet or distant, or if the work on your dream, maybe you're already working on it, it feels intense or demanding, I just want you to have this reminder that you are invited to leave it all at the foot of the cross and remember that he is the one doing the building. 

You can rest and trust in him.

My sister in Christ, I want you to know that more than anything. And it's why I picked this conversation with Heather Holleman in the first place to celebrate 10 years of the Devoted Dreamers podcast. Because at the end of the day, it's not really about the dream. It's about our relationship with him. 

So wherever you are with your God-shaped dream at the moment, I pray you have the courage to trust God with it. And then take one step toward its realization today. 

And I'll see you back here next week.