Stop Waiting for God to Show You the Whole Plan

~ Are you afraid you might hear God wrong and somehow miss the dream He has for you?

This episode is for the Christian woman who keeps wondering, What if I choose the wrong path? What if this dream is just my idea? What if I make a mistake and miss God’s plan for my life?

I understand that fear because I’ve asked those questions too.

In this solo episode, I’m talking about hearing God’s voice, finding your calling, and what it actually means to move forward in faith when certainty is nowhere to be found. 

I also share part of my story from a long season of singleness, when I wanted God to make everything painfully clear but, instead, had to learn that trust was not the same thing as getting the answers I wanted.

If you’ve been stuck in self-doubt, afraid of stepping outside your comfort zone, or worried that your God-shaped dream depends on you getting everything exactly right, I hope this conversation brings relief.

In this episode, I’m talking about:

• Why fear of hearing God wrong can keep you frozen
• What Scripture says about purpose, gifts, and identity in Christ
• How to take a faithful next step without having the whole plan figured out

I’ll also invite you to look back over the story God has already written in your life: your experiences, gifts, passions, people, places, and the redemption He has already worked in you.

You do not need to wait until every question is answered.

You do not need to hold your dream with a white-knuckled grip.

You can trust that God is big enough to guide you, correct you, sanctify you, and use you even when your steps feel imperfect.

***

If you're ready to pursue your dream in a way that's rooted in Scripture, aligned with how you're wired, and supported by women who get it, come find your people 👉 merrittonsa.com/dreambelievers 

Devoted Dreamers is hosted by Merritt Onsa — Christian life coach, mentor, speaker, and founder of the Dream Believers community. New episodes drop every week for the woman who believes her best chapter isn't behind her.

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Transcript

Merritt Onsa [00:00:16 - 00:01:18]

Welcome to the Devoted Dreamers Podcast. This is the show for you if you are ready to get out of your own way and get moving on your God shaped dream. I'm your host and dream coach, Merritt Onsa, and I'm here to help you get out of your head and into your heart so you can embrace your faith in Jesus and turn that fire into fuel for the dream he's given you. But let's be honest, you have already spent way too much time watching what everyone else is doing, comparing your beginning to their middle and sabotaging your progress before you've hardly begun. If you are ready to quit worrying about what everybody else is thinking and moving forward with purposeful action, you are in the right place. So subscribe to the show, then meet me back here each week for some transformational tools to get you on your way. 

Hey there. This is the fourth episode in my solo series about the reasons so many women struggle to achieve their dreams.

Merritt Onsa [00:01:18 - 00:02:35]

Or as I've said in the last three episodes, why so many women give up on their dreams and, and what you can do to avoid being one of them. And if you are new to me, new to the Devoted Dreamers podcast, I hope you'll go back and listen to the three episodes prior to this one, starting with number 224, because there's kind of a thread weaving throughout all of these and I don't want you to miss those important pieces of the conversation. 

And again, if you are new, this solo, multiple solo episodes in a row thing is new to me. This is the first time I've ever done this. I'm trying something new because I urge you guys to try new things all the time. And I felt like it was time for me to get out of my comfort zone a little bit. 

But what I usually do here on the Devoted Dreamers podcast is talk to Christian women about their God shaped dreams. This has generally been an interview show, and the reason that I even started the podcast was because I was curious about how to get past some of the struggles that we, a lot of us, seem to have as we're stepping out of our comfort zone, as we're trying new things.

Merritt Onsa [00:02:35 - 00:04:18]

And I just feel like it's so important to talk about this because if we cannot get past the struggles, if we cannot get over the hurdles, if we can't get unstuck from the quicksand that we're drowning in. Tons of metaphors here that I could be using, but if we can't identify what those struggles are or name the hurdles or the barriers, if we don't know what they are, we can't get past them. 

And so in the past five and a half years of studying this phenomenon kind of in a qualitative way, just by interviewing other Christian women who've managed to make some headway in their dreams, I've learned so much and I've experienced so much of my own growth and progress along the way. And so this podcast is all about sharing what I've learned with you here so that you too can can make some headway and some growth towards your God shaped dream. 

And in doing my research for this particular solo series on how to not be one of those people that isn't able to accomplish her dreams, I have found some interesting research that studies show that women who indicate they are satisfied with their lives also use language and talk about, and this is in quotes, “doing what I love” as a marker of personal success. And I'm sure this is not a surprise that doing what you love would lead you to say that you are more satisfied with your life than doing something you don't love. So, A, obvious, B, this is secular research. But I don't want to discount it because in the same article they went on to say something about the reasons women give up on their dreams.

Merritt Onsa [00:04:19 - 00:04:54]

So they've identified that women doing what they love are more satisfied with their lives. Okay, not rocket science, but why? What prevents them from doing what they love? What prevents them from achieving their dreams? And they had three reasons. Number one, limited financial support. Got it. I understand that. And we're going to be talking about this hopefully in the month of March. I've got three guests I want to bring in to talk specifically about this topic. 

Number two, reasons women give up on their dreams,

Merritt Onsa [00:04:54 - 00:05:28]

A fear of moving outside of her comfort zone. I get that too. And that is why we talk so much around the mindset issues and what it looks like to get out of your comfort zone, why it's so important to get out of your comfort zone. But that fear is one of the things that one of the reasons women give up on their dreams. 

And then number three, this one felt a little more nebulous to me. I'm going to make some interpretations about it. But number three was not fitting traditional definitions of success. So maybe your dream is that you want to be this amazing homeschool mom.

Merritt Onsa [00:05:29 - 00:06:27]

You know, that's not your like standard worldly definition of success. I'm just making a guess here about what they might have been talking about. I wish I had more detail from the researchers on this, but maybe it was some other kind of success that didn't have financial goals or it's not starting a business or whatever. So, you know, possibly the type of thing that just doesn't fit in like all the, you know, more popular quote unquote categories of dreams that people pursue. 

So again, those three, limited financial support, fear of moving outside her comfort zone and not fitting traditional definitions of success. And then these same researchers said, “a woman's willingness to pursue her dreams can have a positive influence on her quality of life.” That goes back to what I said earlier about women being more satisfied with their lives, doing what they love, and that women will actually rate their lives.

Merritt Onsa [00:06:28 - 00:07:13]

This is me now interpreting. Women will rate their lives as more satisfying if they don't give up on their dreams. 

Maybe that's no surprise to you dreamers in the house that your life would be more satisfying if you continued to walk forward despite having limited financial support. Fear of moving outside your comfort zone and not fitting traditional definitions of success. But still, when we are getting started or in those early stages of stepping into a dream, we have this tendency to question our dreams. That's really natural, right? And we question the source, what does it this come from? Or whether we're on the right track. I hear this comment like, I don't want to mess it up. I don't want to make a mistake.

Merritt Onsa [00:07:13 - 00:08:16]

I don't want to go the wrong direction. So in today's episode, I hope and pray that this conversation will give you freedom to let go of those worries. Because here's what I believe is true about you and me and all of God's creation: I believe that it is purposeful. Purposeful. God has given you and me purpose in this world. And your job is to faithfully respond to whatever he's put in front of you, whatever's in front of you right now, whatever he's given you to do with your life. 

So let's address some of the challenges to us believing that God's given us purpose or that there's something that he's given us that is intentional. And this kind of goes back to some of the thoughts I just mentioned a minute ago that this, what if I get the dream wrong? And so I doubt, I doubt, is it the right dream? And then I'm covered with self doubt because I'm not sure I'm the right person for the dream.

Merritt Onsa [00:08:17 - 00:09:47]

Another thought that becomes a challenge is this, what if I get it wrong? Like the dream in its implementation, God expects me to do it in a certain way. And I'm not sure that that's actually the language that we would use in our minds, but thinking I could take the wrong fork in the road and mess it up. 

And then thirdly, this is kind of more overarching. But what if I'm hearing God wrong, that I misunderstand the actual purpose he's given me? And maybe a summary of all three of these feels a little bit to me like a bit of FOMO. Like what's underneath it all might be this fear of missing out on God's blessing, knowing that all blessing, all good things come from him, and that if there's something purposeful that he has for me and I misinterpret what he's communicating, I might miss out on his blessing. I think that's a real fear that people have. And I'm here to help you, if that is you, I'm here to help you readjust your thinking on this in the hope that it will change your feelings and release you from the bondage of those thoughts and feelings in order that you could take action towards your God shaped dream.

Merritt Onsa [00:09:48 - 00:11:10]

And this reminds me of a story from my life, kind of a season of life, almost a decade long of when I was single and the kinds of questions that I would ask God in prayer and just kind of throughout my day to day life about this season of life that he had me in that I so desperately wanted to not be in. I was in my... I got married when I was 39. So in my early middle and late 30s, I was single. And I would ask God, at different times, like, is singleness what you want for me or is marriage what you want for me? Because I'm not seeing any real clarity on either one of those directions. So if one of those, either singleness or marriage, was something that you had chosen for my life, how would I know? And I would beg him, could you please make it clear to me? Because I'm so uncertain and so confused. And I felt like if I could just hold on to this glimmer of hope that maybe someday, you know, that I could endure the weight, which is not at all what God wants for us is to have some glimmer of hope that life would change and then we could trust him. No, he wants us to trust him anyway.

Merritt Onsa [00:11:10 - 00:12:17]

But I would also ask if I happened to be dating someone or meet somebody that I really like, liked and was interested in, you know, in prayer, God, is this the right guy for me? And if I did date a couple people along this journey. And, you know, what if I get it wrong? What if I'm forcing this or if he's not the right one for me? What if I make a mistake, a huge mistake? It feels too big. Like, this is like an enormous lifelong decision. Yes, it is. Especially the marriage question. And I had so much angst and so much fear and was untrusting of God because He wasn't giving me what I so desperately longed for. And so I questioned, is God even trustworthy? Does he hear me? I spent a lot of time in, like, the Psalms and lamentations and some of those Old Testament books where people cried out to God, like, why are you torturing me like this? I felt that to the depths of my soul.

Merritt Onsa [00:12:18 - 00:13:52]

And I was just stuck. I was stuck in a bad place until one day I wasn't. And becoming unstuck was not about getting what I wanted, even though that's what I thought would help me get unstuck from this crazy mindset, this crazy obsession that I was in. 

But what really helped me getting unstuck was growing my trust in him and understanding that I was asking the wrong questions all along. And so what that looked like was to keep taking steps forward, covering it all in prayer, not holding it so tightly with this, like, white knuckled grip on the way I wanted things to turn out, but trusting God and paying attention to what he was revealing in the little ways throughout His Word, through the trusted people in my life and through the experiences that he allowed me to have. And letting go of the grip was the beginning of moving into a place of becoming unstuck. 

And so the shift in your thinking that I mentioned earlier, that I really deeply want for you, number one, is that you cannot miss out and what God has prepared for you. And I don't know if you've ever Googled Jeremiah 29:11, but this is the verse, you know, for I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord, plans for good and not harm.

Merritt Onsa [00:13:53 - 00:14:50]

Da da da da. And it's in, you know, all your graduation cards, and it's quoted on hundreds of Christian podcasts, including mine. 

And I think we've misunderstood this verse. And again, you can Google it and find plenty of pastors and people trained in theology who can kind of share a deeper explanation of this, but just a high level that you have to understand the context. You can't just read a verse and be like, yes, that applies to me. God has plans for me. Even though God has a plan and a purpose for you, we read too much into that verse. So instead of understanding this verse, Jeremiah 29:11, being written to you, in fact, if we look at the context, it is written to the nation of Israel, who are the exiled Jews in Babylon.

Merritt Onsa [00:14:50 - 00:15:46]

And this section of the verse that says the plans I have for you. This, the term “you” is actually plural. It's written to a group, it's written to the Jews, the Jews that are in exile. It's not written to an individual. And if you read verse 10 right before it, it talks about the 70 years in exile that the Jews can expect to endure. 

So, you know, I don't know, it's a little bit of a stretch to say this verse was written to me in my pursuit of a God-shaped dream. Although his plans, the plans he has are good, they are not necessarily easy. He's talking to people who are away from their home, living under rule that is not their own and not their God.

Merritt Onsa [00:15:47 - 00:16:30]

And to assume that ease is coming for you through the reading of Jeremiah 29:11 is a misunderstanding of this verse. And so I think it is actually more helpful to look at some other verses in the New Testament and some of these we've talked about a lot here on the Devoted Dreamers podcast. But Ephesians 2:10. For we are God's handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works which God prepared in advance for us to do. 

God has prepared good works for us to do. All of Ephesians 1. You can go read that. It talks all about our spiritual blessings in Christ, what we've been given, who we are because of Christ.

Merritt Onsa [00:16:31 - 00:17:07]

Or Acts 17:26, it says he marked out their appointed times in history and the boundaries of their lands. So in its entirety, this verse is about, from one man, God made all the nations that we would inhabit the earth, and, and he put us here in a time in history and in a place that he chose for us. That is something that God did. And you can rest in that. It says it in Scripture. And I'm gonna go on. Romans 12:4-8 talks about the gifts God has given us.

Merritt Onsa [00:17:07 - 00:17:44]

The TPT uses the term grace gifts, and I'm not gonna read it all. But verse six says we have different gifts according to the grace given to each each of us. And then it mentions specific ones. Prophecy, serving, teaching, encouragement, giving, leading. There are all these different gifts that God has given to his people. You can trust that; it says it in scripture. And then I think this is the last one. 1 Corinthians 12:4-11 also talks about different kinds of gifts and it says the same Spirit distributes them.

Merritt Onsa [00:17:44 - 00:18:32]

There are different kinds of service, but the same Lord. There are different kinds of working, but in all of them and in everyone it is the same God at work. Scoot down to verse 11. All these are the work of one in the same Spirit, and He distributes them to each one. Just as he determines. 

God has made some specific purposes for you, for me, for each one of us. And so I go back to: you cannot miss out on what God has prepared for you. And if you're worried about missing God's plan for your life, bathe yourself in the scriptures, seeking more about God's plan for redeeming the world. And then rejoice in his glory and his greatness.

Merritt Onsa [00:18:32 - 00:19:31]

Instead of staying so laser focused on God, what is the plan for me alone, by myself, right here, little old me, would you please notice me, pay attention to me, show me what you have for me. We get so wrapped up in making this all about ourselves when God's big story is about redeeming a lost world. That's his plan. And yeah, he has purposes for you. But when we get into the nitty gritty of kind of demanding that we might know a little bit more information so that we don't miss a mistake, we're kind of missing the point. 

And I realize that most of us don't hear an audible voice sent down from heaven affirming that what we're pursuing is God's will for your life. I get it. When you're thinking about your God-shaped dream, you're interpreting a feeling or a sense that maybe this is what God has for you and you are an imperfect being.

Merritt Onsa [00:19:31 - 00:20:31]

You know that. And so what if you heard that sense wrong? And even an audible written or even carrier pigeon message from above for sure seems more desirable than testing out something that could fail. Yeah, it hurts when we test out something and it fails. 

But what if instead of a specific outcome or like a perfect plan for the perfect dream, what if what God desires is your sanctification? And in fact that is actually a far more biblical position than just you getting what you want and then feeling as a result that God's favor is upon you? Guess what? God's favor is upon you already because of Jesus. And it's got nothing to do with the dream that you choose or don't choose to follow or pursue. It has nothing to do with the manner in which you go about implementing it. He loves you. He loves you.

Merritt Onsa [00:20:32 - 00:21:08]

You are covered. And all of your unintentional mistakes, all your misdirections, all your wrong choices, all your sins, all the wrong turns and misunderstood leadings, he's got you covered. 

So more than getting it right or quote, hearing God right, His desire for your life is this. And listen up. If you've gotten distracted, listen up. God's desire for your life is this: Number one, submission to his will. Number two, obedience to his word.

Merritt Onsa [00:21:09 - 00:21:51]

Number three, that your existence would be one of loving and worshiping him and loving your neighbor, caring for those around you who are hurting. End of story. That's it. That's his will for your life. Submission, obedience, love. 

And with that realization, and hopefully maybe a little bit of a shift there for you, I've got some homework you can do. I want you to spend some time recounting the story that God has already written upon your life. The experiences he's given you, your skills, abilities, talents, all the gifts he's given you.

Merritt Onsa [00:21:52 - 00:22:41]

And then what he's already redeemed you from in salvation, what has he redeemed you from? And journal that, like dig into it. Spend a Saturday afternoon if you have that kind of time, to ask him to show you all of the things that have already been revealed to you in your life. And then pay attention to the passions he's given you, the people, the group of people or the places that he's given you a heart for. And then believe, believe. Ask him to help you. Believe God, help me in my unbelief. Believe that he can use you even imperfectly, especially imperfectly for his redemptive work in the world. And then once you've done all of that, like spend time looking at your story, pay attention to the passions he's given you,

Merritt Onsa [00:22:42 - 00:23:36]

believe that he can use you. I want you to find some close knit community, some people that you're walking through life with, a small group or a mentor or someone that's just really poured into your life and knows about you and what you're made of and what you care about. Share what you're working on, what you're dreaming of, the thing that lights that little fire in your heart, or is the idea that just burns in your head at night and just keeps you from falling asleep. 

Share that. And then trust that you don't need to have it all figured out before you begin. In fact, you can begin without even really actually having the words to describe what it is you are doing, what you are working toward, what the dream is. You don't have to be able to describe it or communicate it. It's helpful if you can, and it's great practice if you begin to try to do that.

Merritt Onsa [00:23:37 - 00:24:05]

But trust that you don't need to have it all figured out before you begin. 

How do we do that? How in the world do we do that? That trusting thing. Five things for you here and this. This is not rocket science: Daily seek the revelation of God's character through his word. Number two. Trust that your identity and worth are secure in Christ. I have a podcast episode on that one that I will link to in the show notes.

Merritt Onsa [00:24:05 - 00:24:36]

Number three. Actively engage. Do the work of God's redemptive work in the world. So where is he at work? Go be a part of that. 

Number four. Seek to liberate your mind from the darkness of our true enemy. All the mindset stuff that I've been talking about today, all the doubts, all the fears, the source of that is the enemy. So seek to free your mind from the darkness that he keeps planting into you.

Merritt Onsa [00:24:36 - 00:25:33]

And all of this do while letting your light shine brightly, the light that God's given you to shine into the world. And do that in response to the trials of pursuing a dream that you can't see the whole picture of yet, to the challenge of stepping out of your comfort zone and that feeling a little hard and difficult and scary. 

And then with these practices in place, just begin. Just begin. 

I hope that you're walking away from this episode with some level of assurance that you do not need to worry about hearing God right, being certain that the dream is God's will versus your own desire, or that maybe these dreams are just your own crazy ideas or somehow that you're going to mess it up. Our God is too big for any of these thoughts or fears to be true threats to him or his plans for you, his purpose for you. And if you don't believe me, I dare you to just ask Him.

Merritt Onsa [00:25:33 - 00:26:14]

He can handle it. And if you're a Christian woman who is ready to finally get moving on that passion project so that you can step into the gifting that he's given you and you want to get a clear plan for how to do that. And if you're done being a spectator to other people's dreams, I want to have a conversation with you. Let's get on a call. This is my passion and gifting. I want to walk you through what it takes to move a project from your imagination to implementation. And I am booking free 30-minute discovery calls right now. All you have to do is go to merrittonsa.com/bookacall I've got a few questions there for you to answer so we can get it on the calendar again.

Merritt Onsa [00:26:14 - 00:27:06]

That link is merrittonsa.com/bookacall I can't wait to hear from you, to talk to you, to hear what God has percolated within your heart. It is so important that you not let the fear, the worry, the lies get in the way of God's purpose for your life here on this earth. 

Thanks so much for continuing to listen through this solo series with today's episode the fourth in the series. I still don't even know if I'm ending it six or seven episodes. Stay tuned for that, but don't let the conversation end here. You can you can connect with me and a supportive group of women dreamers over in the Devoted Dreamers Facebook group. We are building an encouraging community of like minded women because we were never meant to do any of this alone.