Is This Dream Worth It? (And Other Late-Night Questions)

Have you ever wondered if your dream is actually worth the time you're spending on it, or if you're just being a little frivolous?

I hear this question a lot, and under the surface, it's rarely about the dream itself. It's about whether you're worth pursuing it.

In this episode we look at the story of David and Goliath. David didn't have the armor, the size, or the resume. What he had was confidence in the name of the Lord he was standing in. That's the same confidence available to you, whether your dream feels too small, too late, or too uncertain right now.

We're talking about:

• Why your security has to be settled in Christ before you take the next step toward your dream
• Two simple questions that help you test if a dream has real, redemptive value
• Why "am I capable enough" might be the wrong question entirely

If you've been stuck wondering whether your dream has value and worth, or if you're the right person to carry it, this episode is for you.

This episode originally aired on 2/15/2022

Devoted Dreamers is hosted by Merritt Onsa — Christian life coach, mentor, speaker, and founder of the Dream Believers community. New episodes drop every week for the woman who believes her best chapter isn't behind her.

If you want to keep working through questions like these in a supportive environment with other women who get it, come join us in Dream Believers. You don't have to figure this out alone.

Sign up for Dream Believers. Just $49/month or $490 for the year (get 2 months free!) 

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Transcript

Merritt Onsa [00:00:16 - 00:01:24]

Welcome to the Devoted Dreamers Podcast. This is the show for you if you are ready to get out of your own way and get moving on your God shaped dream. I'm your host and dream coach Merritt Onsa and I'm here to help you get out of your head and into your heart so you can embrace your faith in Jesus and turn that fire into fuel for the dream he's given you. But let's be honest, you have already spent way too much time watching what everyone else is doing, comparing your beginning to their middle and sabotaging your progress before you've hardly begun. If you are ready to quit worrying about what everybody else is thinking and moving forward with purposeful action, you are in the right place. So subscribe to the show, then meet me back here each week for some transformational tools to get you on your way. Hey friend. Welcome to my fifth episode in this solo series about the reasons so many women struggle to achieve their dreams or give up altogether, and what you can do to avoid being one of them.

Merritt Onsa [00:01:25 - 00:02:29]

Let's start off this week with a question. How often do you take a risk to try something new? When was the last time you took a risk to try something new? And if that was fairly recently and if you're taking steps into your God shaped dream and that's requiring you to take some risks of trying some new things, maybe you've had one of these thoughts. I'm afraid of making the wrong choice. Nobody would be interested in what I have to say or I don't want to waste my time or do anything that's frivolous or not meaningful. Or maybe it's I do, I want to do something with purpose, with meaning that's going to leave a lasting effect that is eternity driven. These are some of the things that I'm hearing you say in my Facebook group and in coaching calls and on social media elsewhere. And these are such common thoughts.

Merritt Onsa [00:02:29 - 00:03:32]

I hear just different versions of this whenever I talk to you all, but some of them reveal fears, some of them reveal hopes, some of them reveal insecurities that come up when you are getting ready to step out into a risk. And I'll kick us off here and just speak a little bit from my own experience since I've been doing a lot of what feels like risk taking for me in the last several months. But doing these solo episodes, the series you're listening to right now, this has been such a learning experience for me and it's had a bit of a learning curve for me in its implementation and you know, never did I imagine in 2016 when I launched this podcast, that I'd be doing a solo series like this. I never went into it to do a bunch of solo episodes. Interviews was really all that was on my mind at that point. 

But now here we are going into season 10 in the year that I'll celebrate six years of podcasting. I really just had this sense of, like, it's time to shake things up a little bit.

Merritt Onsa [00:03:32 - 00:04:28]

It's time to try something that I've not done before, or I will just continue to repeat what I've been doing over the years, and maybe that would be fine. But in this conversation of pursuing our God shaped dreams, I just started asking the question, like, Lord, what is it that you'd have me do new now in a season that had space for transition? And so, you know, it's proven true. I have some things to say you might have noticed, and I have something to offer besides my interviewing skills. And I think I struggled with that before or at least I struggled with, like, really acknowledging that I think some of us get stuck playing small sometimes because stepping into who we are or who we feel like we are on the inside but aren't quite there on the outside just feels a little bit too scary.

Merritt Onsa [00:04:29 - 00:05:37]

And, you know, I've realized along this journey, this learning experience, I am super passionate about talking with women like you about these struggles we face and how to keep going with our faith in Christ as the source of our strength and our motivation to keep going in the midst of it being challenging and continuing along a little bit of my story as I've been preparing these solo episodes, one week at a time, you know, versus, my vision was, oh, I'm gonna get like three done in a weekend and get ahead in the podcast recording plan. And that hasn't worked out as I hoped. But, you know, along the way, one episode at a time, the Lord has continued to faithfully provide the topics, the content, the. The words to speak in ways that have amazed me. In fact, getting prepared to do this one, I felt like I had this, like, blank piece of paper in front of me that had nothing on it. Like, what am I even gonna do? I'm a week away from publishing this episode, and I don't even have a title or at least a concept, but I don't have a thought.

Merritt Onsa [00:05:37 - 00:06:23]

And I shifted my content creation strategy this week. I just wrote things out longhand, and the minute I started to do that, the ideas began to flow, which was kind of exciting. And this has been my experience with the Lord, that when I like sit there and I'm like, okay, open hands, what do you have for me it just comes and it's so beautiful. 

And I say all this and tell you this much longer than intended story because I want you to know that I am just like you. I have been in seasons of doubt. I still have seasons of doubt and questioning and uncertainty and second guessing. Maybe not my every move, but my every other move. And then as I said, playing small because I feel uncomfortable sometimes doing anything else.

Merritt Onsa [00:06:24 - 00:07:14]

But side note, small isn't all that comfortable either. So why do we do that? And a lot of times I think it's because we don't understand who we are and our value and worth, which is completely secure. As a daughter of the king and earlier this year as we were preparing to move into a new home and kind of a new bedroom for my two daughters, a friend gave me one of those like hobby lobby signs to hang in the girls room and it says this: I am a daughter of the king who is not moved by the world. For my God is with me and goes before me. I do not fear because I am his. 

I love it. She handed it to me and I was like, yes, of course I want this.

Merritt Onsa [00:07:14 - 00:08:13]

It's beautiful. I want my kids to know this in the depths of their being. I want to know this too. I want you to know it too. 

And it's been kind of funny as my 7-year-old has been becoming more comfortable with reading and she's been voluntarily memorizing the words on this sign is she's been testing out like oh, do I, can I sound that word out and figure out what it says? She's been testing out her skills and every night since she's become confident with it, we say it out loud, we speak it over her, over me, over her little sister. Sometimes we talk about what it means. Of course she probably has very little understanding of that at this point. But still, you know, in my mind this is a practice that I hope we'll continue to do, to solidify the truth that can set us free from getting sucked into the worldly definitions of how we think about our identity as human.

Merritt Onsa [00:08:14 - 00:09:07]

That this truth for, for my seven year old, for the little one coming behind her, for me, for you, that we can begin to settle into these words being true about us as we remind ourselves of them on a more regular basis. I'm going to just say it for your benefit: 

I am a daughter of the king who is not moved by the world. For my God is with me and goes before me. I do not fear, because I am His. 

If you struggle with this too, sadly, you're in good company. But I'm so glad you're here because value and worthiness is what we're talking about today on this episode. And my prayer is that you will walk away encouraged in Jesus, regardless of where you land on the value and worth of your specific dream.

Merritt Onsa [00:09:07 - 00:09:50]

So we're going to talk about the value and worth of our dreams and ourselves. 

And if you're new to me and you've gotten this far into this episode and maybe just hit pause, I want you to go back and start with the first of these solo episodes. It's number 224. And go listen through the whole series so that you can feel part of this whole conversation we've been having over these last several weeks. I think it's really important to get all the pieces of this and then, and then come back to this one when you're done. 

But I want you to hear something important today on this conversation of value and worth. And if you've gotten distracted already, 10 minutes in, come on back to me. Listen up.

Merritt Onsa [00:09:50 - 00:10:59]

This is what I want you to hear: 

Your God shaped dream has value and worth that is not dependent upon your actions, your success, your appearance, your discoverability, your notoriety, your social media influence, your SEO, your graphic design, your branding, or your eloquence in speech or just about anything else you might add to that list. 

And as I was thinking about this, and this is one of those things like, okay, God, what, what else can I say about this topic? And he brought to mind the story of David and Goliath. And what did David have as he walked into this situation with this giant, this battle with this giant that had terrified the Israelites. And you can find this whole story in 1 Samuel 17, and I'm going to just detail it out a little bit, but Goliath is portrayed as this strong giant. I think in my notes it said he was 9 foot 9 inches. He had all the right armor and weapons and even a shield bearer who went ahead of him. Though I'm not sure why he would have needed that if he was 9 foot 9.

Merritt Onsa [00:10:59 - 00:11:36]

There's no shield that could, I don't know, I guess you could like raise it up above if. Who knows? Anyway, but he was challenging the ranks of Israel and he told them to send a man for him to fight. This guy just wanted to be in a fight. 

And verse 11 says when they heard that Saul and all the Israelites were dismayed and terrified. 

And then one day, David, who was the youngest in his family of eight sons, he was delivering a meal to his brothers. I think it was like bread and cheese. And his brothers were the soldiers in the battle. And David happened to hear Goliath's defiant shout to the Israelites.

Merritt Onsa [00:11:37 - 00:12:36]

And the scripture says, about the Israelites, they all fled from him in fear, in great fear. 

And David is kind of incensed at Goliath's obvious disregard for the armies of the living God. And David starts to ask around about, like, who's going to deal with this dude? Like, he's insulting us, he's insulting our God. What are we going to do about this? 

And through the course of events, David eventually says to Saul, your servant, meaning himself, will go and fight him. And Saul's kind of like, really? How are you going to do that? 

And David defends his abilities by speaking about how he has defended his father's sheep from, like, a lion or a bear, some ferocious beast coming to attack the flock. But he attributes his success in those situations to the Lord rescuing him. And he says, God will do it again. 

And so obviously, David gets the go ahead.

Merritt Onsa [00:12:36 - 00:13:10]

And they try to put Saul's tunic, his armor, his helmet on David. And if you're familiar with the story, it doesn't work out. David's like, this doesn't fit, right. I'm not used to it. I'm used to just being a shepherd out in the field watching the sheep and defend, defending the sheep with the. From the bear and the lion. You know, take. Get rid of this stuff. So instead, David takes his staff, which I'm assuming is like a shepherd's crook, like it's a long stick, and then five smooth stones from the stream, and he puts them in his shepherd's bag and a sling in his hand.

Merritt Onsa [00:13:10 - 00:13:57]

And verse 45 and 46, say, as David goes up to Goliath, “I come against you in the name of the Lord Almighty, the God of the armies of Israel, whom you have defied this day the Lord will deliver you into my hands.” 

I mean, look at that confidence David had. Five smooth stones, a slingshot, but most importantly, confidence in the God of the universe. And side note, it took just one of those five stones to strike Goliath's forehead and then he fell face down onto the ground and ultimately was killed. And, you know, everybody rejoiced. 

And I talk about this because you might think you don't have what it takes.

Merritt Onsa [00:13:57 - 00:14:56]

If you look at the story, David had some certainty, but he was small, young, and you might be in that place of like, I feel small or too young, or maybe you feel too old, too something, too much, not enough. On the surface, you actually might not have what it takes. Like if somebody looked at your resume or the facts of your abilities, you might actually be lacking in a lot of what others have at their disposal. 

But what do you have? Like David, you have faith in the most powerful, all-knowing God of the universe. And if he's given you a dream, it is not in his character to abandon you on the battlefield or on the road, on the journey. Right? 

Isn't it in his character to be at your side as you pursue it? He is a faithful God and He loves you. Remember, you are a daughter of the King.

Merritt Onsa [00:14:58 - 00:16:35]

So let's go back to these things that I've heard dreamers like you say, a worry that you might have when considering a dream. 

And this is valid, okay, this is legit, you might have said or felt, I don't want to waste my time, I don't want to do anything that's frivolous or not meaningful. This is kind of alongside the does my dream have value? Do I have a worthy dream of pursuing? 

And it's, that's kind of a surface belief. Like, because you haven't seen this thing come to fruition and you're in a phase of growth and development of it. If you're like me, the ideas are coming, but you're not really sure where to start with them. You feel some self doubt and confusion and then this question of, am I wasting my time, if I, you know, if I devote time to this, is it going to be worth it? 

I think there's an important question to ask. What is feeding this concern about wasting your time? What's the belief under that? And some of it, for some of you, it might be, am I a worthy participant or host of the dream that God has been revealing to me, or am I capable of doing this without messing it up? And as we've discussed, I feel like these questions reveal something important, a deep struggle of identity, value and worth. Not just of the dream, but maybe even for yourself.

Merritt Onsa [00:16:35 - 00:18:06]

And you might not even realize that this identity, value and worth question is what's driving your doubts. But if you aren't secure in your identity, value and worth in Christ, the worries that you have about stepping into a dream can reveal actually where you need to begin with yourself inside before you step into the dream. 

And honestly, we don't often see that on the surface. We like to make it about like the physical, tangible things, like, well, I don't really know how to create a website and so maybe I'm just not the right person to do this, or I don't really know very much about whatever it is, and so somebody else would probably be better equipped. 

But actually, those are excuses because we're not entirely aware of the internal struggle that we're having. Because if you go to church and if you're a Christian, the thought might be, well, I love Jesus and I do go to church and I do all the right things most of the time, and I, you know, ask for forgiveness when I don't, and I don't do the wrong things most of the time. And so if all that's true, then of course my security is in Jesus. And we are kind of programmed to believe that if we've done the right stuff, then, yeah, I don't have an identity issue. 

But the thoughts and the feelings and the doubts and then the subsequent actions give away what's actually true, what's really true on the inside.

Merritt Onsa [00:18:06 - 00:19:12]

So the answer to the question, am I worthy to be a participant or a host of this dream that God has revealed to me. Yes! Yes, you are, because the Gospel says so. You are inherently worthy because of Jesus. You are an image bearer of God. 

But saying that and knowing that in your deepest knowing, those are two entirely different things. 

And the answer to the question, am I capable of doing this without messing it up? Am I good enough? It's actually the wrong question to be asking. 

The right question to be asking is, did God give it to you? Did God give you this dream? Is it from Him? And does he ask you to be capable? Or does he ask you to trust Him? Does he ask you to believe that you will be with Him, that your role is to abide with Him, to dwell with Him, to take your worries, to cast them upon him, to trust not in your own understanding, but in Him. Yeah, that's where we're supposed to be.

Merritt Onsa [00:19:13 - 00:20:13]

And if you have struggled and you can't get over this belief issue regarding your identity, your worth, your value, your significance in the world, let me tell you, the road to pursuing your dream is going to feel like climbing Mount Everest, and you're going to want to give up before you even hit base camp. 

That is why it is so important to address this even before you start packing your hiking boots. 

But let's back up a minute to talk specifically, what do I mean by value and worth? Because sometimes these are words that we throw around and we're like, we assume we know what this means. But I like to go to the dictionary and the definitions so that we can all be on the same page in what we're talking about here. 

So I looked up to define the words quality, value, and worth or worthy, because this is about your worthiness. So quality defined is degree of excellence. 

Merritt Onsa [00:20:13 - 00:20:53]

It's a reference to the amount of excellence something has. Value by definition means importance, worth and usefulness. Value, importance, worth and usefulness. And then worth or worthy. Like, okay, well, we're defining value by the word worth. What does worth mean? Deserving, attention, effort and respect. And I feel like with those definitions at hand, this becomes kind of a weighty conversation about excellence, importance, worth, usefulness, deserving of attention, effort and respect. But what I want you to hear is this:

Merritt Onsa [00:20:53 - 00:22:01]

You have permission to take up space in the world. You have permission to be inspired, to have thoughts and feelings and opinions that differ from others. You have permission to be passionate about something, excited about something. You have permission to acknowledge your significance, that you matter, and all of that without fear of being accused that you're being boastful. If you take note of these things.

And this is why: your identity in Christ means God's grace covers all this is about your freedom, that what you do with your life and the gifts you've been given, whether that's your salvation or the practical, technical, creative, whatever gifts, what you do is always a result of who you are by God's grace. What you do is a result of who you are by God's grace. There is no condemnation. You are made in God's image.

Merritt Onsa [00:22:01 - 00:23:08]

You have permission to make mistakes, to get it wrong, to fail, and to get up and try again, even at the same thing that you failed at before. 

A failure doesn't mean the dream or the step that you took doesn't have value. And remember, value is importance, worth, or usefulness. 

In fact, I would argue that failure is one of the best teachers we have. But it takes a huge mindset shift for most of us to be able to really step into that reality and to own it without feeling some sort of condemnation or shame about the outcome or the results not being perfect. And so we let that halt us in our tracks, prevent us from taking any meaningful steps, because we're like, shoot, if I mess this up, it's over and it's not true. 

So what do you do? And this is if you've got a good handle on the identity, value and worth questions that we just talked about that you're listening to me talk and you're like, no, I think I've got that.

Merritt Onsa [00:23:08 - 00:23:51]

I think I'm confident in Christ. And if that's not you, again, no condemnation. But that is the indication of the place for you to begin. Like I said, don't begin down the road of pursuing a God shaped dream until you have a measure of security. It may not be perfect, but a measure of security that when I falter, my identity rests in God, in Christ. When I struggle, my identity rests in Christ. I can go back to Him, you know, when I, when I'm good, when I'm doing great, I am praising and worshiping the God of the universe who made me and gave me the skills and gifts that he did. So if that's not you, go work on identity value and worth.

Merritt Onsa [00:23:51 - 00:24:41]

Go figure that out before you take some big steps to your dream. 

But if you've got a good handle on that and yet you're still worried about, is my dream a worthy pursuit? Now what do we do? What do we do with that? You test it out. You test it out. 

You begin to ask questions like what are the gospel implications of this dream? So this, we're getting practical here. Do some journaling on your own by yourself, and then take these questions and the answers that you've come up with and sit with this person. If you've got one of these, a mentor or a leader, someone in your life that knows who you are and you're connected over other things, not just this. Sit with this person who knows you and talk over the answers that you came up with. So here are the two questions.

Merritt Onsa [00:24:42 - 00:25:29]

Does this dream have redemptive value? 

And does this dream serve someone besides just me? 

And I'm going to talk about them one at a time in a little bit more detail. 

So does this dream have redemptive value? What is redemptive value? I had to spend a little time on that definition as well. But you can start by thinking of what the Bible says is redemptive and good. And I began by just making a list of words that came to mind when I think about things that the Bible says. So joy, peace, patience, kindness, love, gentleness. All terms that describe redemptive value. Sacrificial love for our neighbor, redemption itself, renewal. You know that Jesus came to make all things new.

Merritt Onsa [00:25:29 - 00:26:56]

That which was destroyed or maligned by the fall, He'd recreate in a new and better way. Could your dream be a glimpse of his work in the world? Some other words, justice, freedom, revitalize, or revitalization, generous generosity, plenty hope, goodness and the glory of God, faithfulness, self-control, and then the, the term itself, redemption. So this is what it means to have redemptive value. And I think it's helpful to like, look at the dream, whatever aspect of it that's clear to you right now. How many of these redemptive value terms fit your dream? I’m not saying you have to have them all, but is there some redemptive value to your dream? Something that's going to like, you know, I always see the scene from the Passion of the Christ and I don't think that it's a word for word, quote from Scripture, but where Jesus is on the path carrying the cross and he's fallen down and he sees Mary and he says, Look, I am making all things new. Like, his whole purpose was to redeem and create new. 

So what aspects of your dream have redemptive value? Think about that journal on that.

Merritt Onsa [00:26:56 - 00:27:33]

Ask God to reveal that to you. And I want to offer a little caveat or side note here. 

The fact that a dream brings you joy, makes you excited uses your talents, that is redemptive. That's redemptive. So don't discount that because when the fall came, it was all death and destruction, right? Like, you know, all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God. Like, but if there's joy and hope and vibrancy and energy and use of the talents God's given you, there is redemptive value in that. So don't discount it. 

Okay, and then question 2.

Merritt Onsa [00:27:34 - 00:28:36]

Does this dream serve someone beyond just me? To put it in perspective, I thought, like, okay, what's an example of something that, you know, you could be excited and dream about, but you know, might just be a passion that serves you? And maybe this is the difference between a God shaped dream and like a hobby or an interest. 

And this example maybe feels a little bit frivolous too, but an example of something that wouldn't serve others. I want to buy cute clothes that I can wear. Or I'm obsessed with shopping. Nothing at all wrong with wearing cute clothes or being obsessed with shopping unless there's some idolatry in there. But hold that up against what that kind of dream or desire would look like if it served others. So that might sound like this: I love fashion and getting to be in stores with beautifully created goods that somebody else's creativity contributed to.

Merritt Onsa [00:28:36 - 00:29:43]

Oh, it brings me so much joy. And I really just desire to help people who don't feel confident shopping for themselves. But like all people, they need to wear clothes so that they're not naked all the time. 

And so, you know, somehow it integrates my love of shopping with this desire to help others. And again, I'm not saying shopping is bad in and of itself, it just doesn't reflect the qualities of a God shaped dream. But turn it just a little bit, a little different angle of how you, how your gift, your desire could serve others. Yeah, that dream serves someone other than me if you were helping somebody else enjoy or get the benefits of something that you just love to do. 

So, coming full circle, the question here that I've heard you ask, and I think a lot of us are asking, is, is this dream a worthy pursuit or am I just wasting my time? 

Today I've provided you with a gospel-based perspective about how to think about value and worth, yours personally and the value and worth of your dream.

Merritt Onsa [00:29:44 - 00:31:11]

And I talked about how to test your dream to determine its redemptive value and helped you identify that maybe this isn't really a quality of the dream question, but potentially a security in Christ question. So where does your security lie? 

I hope whoever you are, wherever you are in your Christian walk, that you'll spend some time this week in prayer and talking to God if you have questioned the value of your dream and that you'll take some time to revisit this topic. Because the insecurity that you may feel about the dream may actually have some deeper roots that it would be important to identify before you can get over that hurdle and fully step into the dream. 

And whenever you're listening to this, whether it's early in 2022 or years later, if you've been stuck in your dream and if you're ready to get clear. Finally, if you're tired of being a spectator to other people's dreams, let's talk. If it makes sense to you, let's jump on a free 30 minute discovery call so you can begin to uncover what's really holding you back and find a way forward. I can walk you through the foundational steps of faith that you need in order to get ready to step into a dream, like we talked about today, and the practical action steps to help you actually make some noticeable progress towards your dream. 

This is my passion and gifting to walk you through what it takes to move a project from your imagination to implementation.

Merritt Onsa [00:31:12 - 00:31:53]

And I'm booking these free 30 minute discovery calls right now. All you have to do is go to merrittonsa.com/bookacall and answer a few questions. So we can get it on the calendar again. The link is merrittonsa.com/bookacall