027: The Hidden Pressure of “Keeping Up” (And Why Email Feels Overwhelming)

If email has started to feel like something you have to come up with every week, it makes sense that it’s been hard to keep up. 

Most of us aren’t actually running out of ideas, though - we’re running out of energy trying to think of something new all the time. 

In this episode, we show you how to get out of that pattern so consistent email becomes doable, enjoyable, and sustainable.

Listen in for:

• Naming creativity fatigue (and why it’s not a discipline problem)
• How to shift the weekly pressure spiral into something more doable (and even enjoyable)
• What to do when you feel like you’ve run out of things to say
• A simple repeatable system and structure that makes it all sustainable

RESOURCES MENTIONED

• This Week's Free Action Guide: The “What Do I Send?” Weekly Map
• The Smart Soulful Business Facebook Community: smartbusiness.thrivecart.com/soulful-strategy-community

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🎙 Thanks for tuning in to Smart Soulful Business Podcast! See you next week!

MORE FROM BECKY & LAURIE

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Smart Soulful Business Facebook Community: smartbusiness.thrivecart.com/soulful-strategy-community

Transcript

Becky Brown  0:01 
If you're a Christian woman, building a business and want it to be purposeful and profitable, we've got you covered. I'm Becky.

Laurie Graham  0:08 
And I'm Laurie. We have both built successful businesses that we love without losing our faith, humor or our sanity. This is Smart Soulful Business.

Becky Brown  0:17 
Real conversations to help your business fit your life and not the other way around.

Laurie Graham  0:26 
Hey friends, welcome back to Smart Soulful Business with Becky and Laurie. We are in the middle of a series all about emails. We are talking about why emails are important, why you should no matter what your business is, have a regular email list, and we're not talking the techie side. We're not even talking the marketing side. We're just talking about why you need this and how to make this work for you in a simple, easy way. 

So last week, we talked about why so many of us avoid email even when we know it matters, and today we're talking about what happens when we try to do it. That pressure often, the pressure that keeps us stuck, the pressure that makes us feel like we need to keep up we sit down to write, or we think about it a lot. If you're like me, you spiral in your head about all the things you haven't gotten done this week, including your email, and suddenly it's like, Wait, what am I even supposed to send? And this tiny task, and I think, Becky, would you agree with me? It's a little task. Like this little task feels like this unsurmountable mountain. 

So by the end of this episode, we wanted to feel a whole lot simpler. So let's just say it. We think about emailing, we stress about it. We spiral about it. Sometimes it's not like we forget about it. It just keeps getting pushed back to tomorrow, like maybe I'll do it later, or I'll put a system together later, or I'll think about batching later, or I'll put together ideas later, or I'll do it this weekend, and then all of a sudden, the week is over, and then another week and another week. So Becky, let's talk about this, putting off, pushing it to later. How many times have you done this? Or have we done this both.

Becky Brown  2:03 
Oh, goodness. I mean, so many times, so many times. I mean, how many times do we say that to each other in our morning conversations of, oh, another week went by and that thing that I said was so important to me that I was going to do every single day didn't get done, again. This is such a common part of our conversation with email and other things, but specifically, yeah, with email, it's a good intention that often doesn't get acted on.

Laurie Graham  2:17 
Yes, yes. And in case this is your first time listening in to Smart  Soulful Business, Becky and I are sharing our journey with you, where we've been, where we are. We're on the journey with you, honestly, Becky and I have pretty much mastered the weekly email. And plus, I would say this is not a struggle we are currently having, although we have it with many other things all the time. 

That's why it's really great to kind of look at the principles and how they overlay different aspects of business. But I clearly remember the email struggle, and even though I'm on a smooth track now, it wasn't all that long ago when I had a little struggle bus in the middle. Like, sometimes we get a system, and it's all set and we've batched ahead, and all of a sudden, we're like, wait, what's happening, right? So, can you share Becky a little bit about what you think happens between that gap of, I should do it and I didn't do it? Like, why does this even happen?

Becky Brown  3:20 
Yeah, well, and again, this is like an overall life lesson that I think applies to so many things, but when we're just talking about email, I think that good intention doesn't get acted on first for just real life, very valid reasons. A kid stays home sick, and your work time is gone, you have one of those crazy, stressed-out days where your brain just can't even think, and so you sit down to write and you can't think of a thing, and more urgent priorities are coming up in your real life. And so there is some wisdom in like, the reshuffling of like the well, yeah, I should do that, but these are way more pressing matters right now. So that definitely is something that gets in the way for me all the time, those real, valid reasons. 

I would say I have a long list of work priorities in my head. I know you do too. You have a notebook full of 'I should do this' in my work. I want to do these things in my work, and not all of them fit in your time. That's a very real entrepreneurial struggle, especially with people who have lots of ideas of ways that would legitimately improve your business, but not all of them fit in your time. And I would say one of the biggest ones for me is if I am out of a rhythm, like, if I'm just coming back after a vacation or something, has thrown me off, like, after spring break, after being out of town, something like that, has thrown me off my normal routine. Or I haven't created a normal routine there yet. 

So, if you haven't created the normal rhythm of every Tuesday, I email my list, and that's just the normal expectation, and somehow, I'm going to figure out how to get it done. If that is not your normal rhythm, it's this forever game of, well, where does it fit? My week is already full. Where do I put this? And so, I would say all of those are very real challenges. Would you add anything else to that list?

Laurie Graham  5:19 
You know, I just love what you said about rhythms, and you and I know both have fallen in love with batching, which is one of the solutions to this. Oh my gosh. This happened this week. This last minute thing happened. And we teach about batching in the course that we have on the email list. Like, this is a big, big thing. But today we're really going to talk a little more about like, what do we even say? Because that's a big sticking point that we hear a lot from. I've already heard it this week from the women in the Soulful Strategy Community, saying, What do I say? I have this kind of business. What do I even say? And that thought of having to recreate things all the time again, I think we make this really big mountain when it doesn't have a be a big mountain.

Becky Brown  6:03 
Yep, I completely agree. So, I think that you are totally right that the first sticking point that's really common in email is just the Oh yeah, it's a good idea. But like, where does it even fit? How do I even get myself to sit down at my computer do this? That's the first sticking point that's so common, and this second sticking point that we're diving into now is Okay, I'm making this a priority. I'm sitting at my computer now I have a blank email. What do I say? Not because you have nothing to say, but because now you have to narrow down all of your ideas into okay, what feels important right now? Like, what do they need to know right now? And that can be a real sticking point. 

So let's talk about that. Laurie, how many women have just said, like you just said in our strategy group, it just came up this week. How many women do we know who have said, I just don't know what to write, and what do you think they actually mean when they say that?

Laurie Graham  7:05 
You know, it's so funny. When you were asking how many women say this, the thing that popped in my head was this just really common pop culture phrase that we all say now, Oh, 100%. Oh, oh, yeah, I totally agree. 100% and I'm gonna be honest, 100% of women that I've talked to who have businesses say I don't know what to write, even you and I. Like, this is not just common, it's like epidemic. And I think I love what you said. Like, what do they really mean by that? Because I think this is the thing, is we say I just don't know what to write, or I don't have anything to say, and what we really mean when we uncover it, when we ask questions, what it really comes down to, is feeling like we have to say something brilliant every time, or the right thing or the perfect thing, like it's not like we don't know what to say. 

We have conversations every day with people, even in the grocery store, for Pete's sakes, we all have plenty to say, but I think what we mean by it is this might not be enough, or there's that pressure of saying the exact right thing, as though it's the only time anyone's going to hear us speak, or thinking it has to be something new or creative or life-shattering, or like, scroll-stopping, right? Everything we say does not need to be like that. And I think that's where we get really stuck in this is, oh, I don't know what to say, but I think that's what we really mean. Do you agree with that? Or do you want to add anything to that?

Becky Brown  8:39 
Yeah, I completely agree with what you're saying. And what I think is important about this is you probably you listening right now, have probably felt this but not known how to name it, like a lot of the unintentional expectations we place on ourselves are things that are floating there that we don't have words for. So I love that you were putting words to that of, Okay, when I sit down to write, oh yeah, that is what I feel like. I feel like this has to be so profound that I changed their life today when they open up this email, and I love that you're taking the pressure out of that, because it's true, the point of an email is another touch point. It is connecting with your audience. 

There's lots of different ways that that can look. If you have a physical product, if you have a website, are you trying to inspire and story tell? Are you trying to give them practical tips? There's lots of ways that can look, but I love what you're saying here, of deflating that pressure of this does not have to be the best of you, of everything that you have gone through in your life condensed into one email every week, because no wonder that feels impossible.

Laurie Graham  9:54 
And I kind of want to say it shouldn't be, like as you were talking, I was like, can you imagine if you had a relationship with somebody? Because you and I go deep a lot, like we do life-changing conversations, like they're heavy and they'll leave me going, Oh my gosh. Can you imagine if every single conversation was like that between you and I? Like, if you never talked about your boys fighting in the stroller, or, you know, me not finding my keys? Like, when that's part of, like, real life, and that's part of connection. And I think when we're not earth-shattering, life-changing every single time we speak, honestly, we're more relatable. 

So let's take the pressure off of this, because it's not really about the fact that we don't have enough to say or that we need to say, you know, more than we think we need to be. Right? This is a big turning point here, because it's not just about new ideas all the time, and if it's not, what is it about? And I really do believe this is what changed everything for me, when that pressure came off the email list, is realizing that it wasn't that I didn't have ideas, it was that every single week, I felt like I was starting over again, like, what's my next idea? What's the next thing? What's the next big earth-shattering thing to share that's going to, you know, like you said, change everyone's lives, or, you know, be this big lightning bolt. And I would stare at a blank screen, and it was like I was making a new decision. I was trying to figure out a new angle, a new everything. And that's exhausting, like this, thought of starting over rather than an email being a continuous conversation. Like, does that make sense to you?

Becky Brown  11:34 
Oh, absolutely yes, yes. And that's has become I wasn't aware of it for many years, but many times, when I would write emails, the tone felt off, even when I was writing what felt genuine to me, and I couldn't figure it out. And these days, what I say is my approach to emails and most of my writing is coffee date style. I am sitting at a table with you having a conversation with my audience. I am not standing on stage talking at you. That's not what I want for my audience, right? That's not the connection I want with them. And that can look different for you and your your purpose of your business, too. But that was a big game changer for me,

Laurie Graham  12:15 
Yeah, so what? What specifically changed for you when it stopped feeling like a blank page every single time you sat down to try to start this thing again.

Becky Brown  12:23 
Yeah, so I kind of want to go back to sticking point number one of the procrastination, and I'll do it later, because I think a lot of that comes from it feeling too big and too vague. So for me, what shifted a lot is making those small decisions that I didn't even know needed to be made. 

So deciding on my email frequency, like that decision just saying, Okay, every Tuesday is when I email my list. Yeah, that clarified a lot for me, that before it was like, Well, do better on email. Well, what does that mean? Am I emailing seven times a week? Am I emailing once a month? What does do better mean? And when I thought, when I got really specific, it was really helpful for me. And I would say that coming up with a general kind of template structure so that it was more like fill in the blanks. It was different information. It was different content every week, but it was like, Okay, this goes here, the link goes here, the picture goes here. This is my personal section here, doing a fill in the blanks format that kind of relieved that pressure of what you're talking about, starting from scratch every single week. Just make it up. What are you doing this week? Is it going to be like a newsletter format with tons of pictures? Is it going to be sharing personal stuff, like just deciding on a template in that season that works for me. That made that took a lot of the the decisions out of it for me in that moment, so I didn't have tp start over again.

Laurie Graham  13:48 
Yeah, I love that. And when you talk about the structure like that, can be as simple as, this is how I'm waking up today. This is what's coming next, yeah, and this is what just happened, like, this doesn't have to be rockstar mentality at all. Super simple, easy,

Becky Brown  14:01 
Yeah, yeah. It can look a thousand different ways. And it doesn't have to feel overwhelming or hard or too big, because if it feels too big, you're probably not going to do it. And the goal is for you to do the thing like you said, adding a touch point. So I would say like I'm a spreadsheet person, and so seeing laying out. Okay, so these are the Tuesdays in May, and these are the Tuesdays that I'm going to send an email, and seeing like an Okay, that's the next email that comes up, and this is the blog post that goes out this week. And so that's what I'm talking about, giving myself the topic, and seeing that, is such a clearer check off the list, then do better on email.

Laurie Graham  14:41 
And basically, we're really just talking about not starting over every single week. Like, to sit down and go, What am I writing this week versus having a spreadsheet or having a list or having an idea, like, yeah, it makes it so much simpler. Like, I'm like, why did we struggle for years on this? Like, this is so simple.

Becky Brown  14:57 
Yeah, well, it's making the decisions that we don't know that need to be made that would make us so much easier.

Laurie Graham  15:04 
Which is why we're here, doing what we're doing, because we're trying to save other people the struggles that we had. So let's make it easy and simple everybody.

Becky Brown  15:11 
Yes, well, and one of the things that you and I fall into, unconsciously often, is, if it doesn't feel hard, it doesn't feel effective, right? It can't be right if it doesn't feel hard, this should like we should be working hard in our business for it to be, to hold that power and impact. And so I just kind of want to deflate that balloon too, that the solution isn't necessarily more effort, more work on your part to put into your email. And so we kind of want to just talk about what actually makes this work. This is when things start getting a little bit easier, because it's not about being more creative. Come up with more ideas every week. It's not about in reinventing the wheel every single week like we've been talking about so far. So what shifts have you made? Laurie, in that area, what is that? What does that actually feel like for you every week in your email list?

Laurie Graham  16:13 
You know, I think one of the big things, because you said a couple things there, but one of the things, what does it feel like for you? I have a lot less exhaustion, because there's a new phrase I've been hanging on to called 'creativity exhaustion', or creative fatigue. Is that what it is?

Becky Brown  16:29 
Creativity fatigue.

Laurie Graham  16:31 
Creativity fatigue. And I've recently come across this phrase, or made it up in my head. I don't know where it came from, but it's made me think about it, because I'm I love ideas. I am so creative. I have more ideas, you know, just hanging in my head constantly. One of my team members is the same, and we work together really well because of that, and in other ways we don't, because we always have, like, all these just ideas everywhere. And the reality is, is having so many ideas causes fatigue, and so when you have something that is routine and simple and a schedule, like a weekly email, that is not the place where I can pour a lot of creativity into it, because it exhausts me in all other areas,

Becky Brown  17:16 
Yeah, which, which completely makes sense,

Laurie Graham  17:18 
Yeah, yeah. So I think just the idea of that there can be a template, that it can be simple, even without templates and spreadsheets. I'm just saying just making it simple is like, to me, I used every email I used to write for probably the first two years was basically a blog post, like, I should go back and publish them, because they were a lot of good content, and how many people really read them, versus if they were on the internet and available, you know what I mean, but I got away from that. 

And so for me, weekly, I think I've shared before, I have a weekly email that goes out with Small Church Ministry that's just based on blog posts. There isn't any creativity link to it. It's, this is our weekly wrap up, and that works really well for where my business is right now. And then I have a paid membership that gets a weekly email. And in that one, I like to drop some personal because that's where we have even deeper connection. And we do a lot more coaching and training in that membership. And so there's a little more in there, but just it's, it's like a paragraph, it's like a little bit, plus a few links, like, that's what it is. And having that structure, I think it's really, really amazing. 

And this is really, it's just so helpful, and this is why we created that course, Why You Need An Email List and How To Grow One. Because we literally unpack, we can't do it all on a 20 minute podcast, y'all. So if you want deeper like, grab that course, Why You Need An Email List and How To Grow One, because most of us, again, we don't need more ideas. We need a simple, repeatable system and structure to come back to. So we're not starting over and over again from scratch every week. In the course we walk through like what to send and how to keep it consistent, and as Becky and I talked about earlier, like the magic of batching, and how batching can really work for your life. 

So neither Becky and I are writing whole emails every single week like we're not doing that. We write ahead of time, and then you have that, like a flow of ideas, and it makes it so much easier. We want this to become part of your business. Like today, we talked about why emails keep getting pushed off because of this feeling, this weighted feeling, why staring at the blank screen like feels so hard and and even stops us in our track, why starting from scratch really can be the issue here. Becky, what else did we miss during this episode that you're like, Oh, we didn't talk about that, or I want to throw that in, or maybe just something you want to highlight that we've talked about so far.

Becky Brown  19:36 
Yeah, you know, I feel like the important shift that I think that you are naming today is is kind of redefining the purpose of an email. The purpose of an email is not to create something new. The purpose of an email is to tell your people about something you've already done, a product, a post, a resource you created. Just tell them about it like you were going on a coffee date with a friend. Just tell them about it.

Laurie Graham  20:00 
And what if they don't have one yet? So we're talking to a lot of early business builders, and we have encouraged you, if you haven't listened from the beginning of the series, we want you to go back and listen to this whole series, because we are literally telling you that you need an email list. Like, hands down, this is not negotiable. Becky and I even stand on at least a weekly email. We talk more about frequency in the course. But like minimum, we're just saying everybody needs a weekly email. And so if you don't have a product yet, we want you to be connecting, because you can share what's coming up, what you what you're learning. 

You can use this email list even to get more connection with your audience, by asking them what are their struggles, and that's how you can even figure out what you're going to build next. Any other thoughts for early business builders, because you and I both have, like, we have a weekly email that highlights our blog posts and our products, and for people who are still working toward that, what else would you say about their email list?

Becky Brown  20:52 
You know, one of the things that really confused me early on in my business was there's just this big push out there in the business world of create your avatar. Create your avatar and like, who is your ideal client, talk to them. And I had no idea. I had no idea. So I instead, I want to shift the wording of that for you. And I want you to think about, like the chances are, that you created that product or wrote that blog post or created that resource because somebody brought that need to your life. 

So whoever that person was, will you think about like, what would you tell them about this thing and start there? But I also want you to make sure that if you're not sure if these sticking points resonated with you today that we talked about, please go download this week's every Action Guide, The "What Do I Send" Weekly Map is what it's called this week. And just take a few minutes, it just walks you step by step through mapping out your next email. And it's not about making it perfect or perfectly polished. It's just giving you your next steps someplace where you can actually start.

Laurie Graham  21:58 
Yeah, totally. And I know we just talked about early business builders. If you're in mid-build or you have a business and email has been a struggle for you, we're going to take that and make it easier too. Like that's what we're here for. Becky and I are so excited to be talking to people building businesses at any stage who are looking at profit and purpose. Profit and purpose. 

We're not telling you to waste your time writing emails just for connection, for connection sake, although there's a lot of value in that. We are moving toward, let's, let's build the businesses that we believe God's called us to build. Let's experience some more financial freedom in whatever level you're looking toward and working towards your dreams. But emails, y'all? Non-negotiable. In my mind, non-negotiable. 

So thanks for being with us today. In the middle of this email series next week, we're talking about something a lot of people feel but don't always say out loud. We're talking about how to grow your email list without feeling slick, salesy, forced or like you're annoying people, like so many times we're like, oh my gosh, how much should we email? Should we email our friends? Gonna be mad? You know what I mean, those kinds of things. That's what we're talking about on next week's episode. So if that's been in the back of your mind, definitely come back for that one and share this podcast with people you know who are building things or want to build things. It is not as difficult. It is not as like life stopping to build a business on the side, or to make it your income. 

So let's do it. Let's make it easy for people. Let's share the news, because there's way too many people out there with dreams that aren't putting feet to the dreams, and that's what we're all about. So and if you want more support as you build this, come join us in the Soulful Strategy Community. The link is in the show notes. Becky and I are in there every day, every week, with more more support, more community and more coaching. So we're building this slow, steady and in a way that fits real life. So let's do it together. 

All right, go, team.