028: Email List Growth That Doesn’t Feel Slick, Salesy, or Forced

If growing your email list has felt slow, awkward, or a little uncomfortable, you’re not doing it wrong. Most of us just don’t want to grow something in a way that feels pushy or performative. 

In this episode, we talk about how to grow your list in a way that’s clear, steady, and actually fits how you want to show up.

Listen in for:

• Why slow growth is normal (and still works)
• How to show up without feeling pushy or “on” all the time
• What actually helps people choose to join your list
• Why clarity matters more than doing more
• How to keep growing without forcing it

RESOURCES MENTIONED

• This Week's Free Action Guide: The No-Pressure List Growth Path
• The Smart Soulful Business Facebook Community: smartbusiness.thrivecart.com/soulful-strategy-community

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🎙 Thanks for tuning in to Smart Soulful Business Podcast! See you next week!

MORE FROM BECKY & LAURIE

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Transcript

Becky Brown  0:01 
If you're a Christian woman, building a business and want it to be purposeful and profitable, we've got you covered. I'm Becky and I'm Laurie.

Laurie Graham  0:09 
We have both built successful businesses that we love without losing our faith, humor or our sanity. This is Smart Soulful Business.

Becky Brown  0:16 
Real conversations to help your business fit your life and not the other way around. Hey friends, welcome back to Smart Soulful Business with Becky and Laurie, we help women grow businesses that are both purposeful and profitable. So we're so glad you're joining us. 

We are in the middle of an email series right now, and each week, we have been peeling back a different layer of your email list. So a couple of weeks ago, we talked about what an email list actually does for your business, and last week, we got into why it's so easy to avoid your email list and why it feels so hard to actually sit down and send something and get consistent in connecting with your audience in this way. 

Today we are going to be talking about the next step of that journey, which is growing your list, which is, we're not gonna approach it like a do-more-be-louder, show up everywhere kind of way, but more of a like what fits into your real life, your actual business, what is authentic and helpful effective for you. So if you feel like growth is a big leap from writing your very first email in the stage of your journey, just stick with us, because this episode today is going to meet you at any stage of your business here, whether you are just writing your first email, or whether you are years down the road and you're already in a regular rhythm with a big or a small list. 

For a lot of us, this growth section of, this growth part of our journey, can get a little uncomfortable. We can feel that feeling of oh, but I don't want to be annoying. I don't want to push people to buy this thing if they didn't buy it from the last three emails or oh, I don't want to turn into that kind of a business. 

So, if growing an email list has felt awkward or slow or just unclear, this episode is going to help. So, let's start talking about that moment that it starts to feel weird. So, we're fine having an email list. We understand the importance of our business, and then you sit down to write the email, or you're hovering the mouse over the Send button and thinking, oh my goodness, this just feels uncomfortable. I just emailed them last week. Do you do they want to hear from me again? And all those insecurities come rushing in. Laurie, when do you think that shift happens when it goes from like normal? I've accepted this. I need this. This is important to my business to I feel so weird about this. Isn't really important to my business.

Laurie Graham  3:03 
Okay, I think that's an amazing question, because a lot of times when I write an email, or when I have a pitch to put out for, you know, joining my email list or whatever, it feels great when I put it together, and then right before I hit send, it's like, ah. And to me, it's that insecurity of, I don't want to bug people. Am I going to be too salesy? I'm in front of people too much. It's all those insecurities that are super personal. And what's really interesting about that is, most of the time I'm not even being pushy, like you and I both are very careful about offering invitations and not being too salesy. And you know, we even go back and forth on what does this sound like to you? Does this sound too, and I'll even talk about that male testosterone kind of salesy pushy. Because a lot of people teaching sales or online businesses, or any kind of businesses, it's like this, like in your face. And so most of the time, we're not even being pushy. And I just want to say it's not usually that we're being too much, it's oftentimes that we have this thing rising up in us, that it's just an insecurity.

Laurie Graham  4:12 
Sometimes, though, I think the danger is we assume people will figure out how to stay connected or get connected to us without an invitation. And that's ridiculous. Yes. Like, let's say I'm having a dinner party at my house and I just think people are going to show up. Like, no, I have to put out invitations. I have to either call people or email them or put up a flyer at the church, or, you know, whatever. Like, people aren't going to find us, even if we have amazing things to offer, if we don't make an invitation, or we make an invitation once, like, how does that work? Even with wedding invitations? Sorry, but don't people need more than one invitation? Oh, so when we're talking about like joining an email list or growing our email list,

Laurie Graham  4:57 
we've got to figure out how to make invitations to people and more than one. Yeah, I think about some of my biggest purchases and biggest things in my life, or even friendships. Sometimes it's not one invitation. It's like it takes three times or four times or seven times or whatever, before I buy the vacuum, or before I even consider buying a new home or a car or a book for Pete's sakes. Like, how many times do I even, like, I'm like, second guess so when I think, I think for me, when I think about this, the stop block that happens in me for growing an email list, growing a following, growing our client base, wherever you're at. Like, I like to think of it as invitations. Like, let me invite you, you know. 

So if you think about it, Becky, what actually helps somebody decide to join an email list? So you and I, we get invited to join email lists all the time. Anytime you, you get asked for a free thing on the on the computer, for anything, even if you're buying a product, it says, Do you want to join our list? Do you want to subscribe like, how many times has that happened to us? What do you think helps people decide to join an email list?

Becky Brown  6:09 
Yeah, well, and I love that you addressed the insecurity side of this first, because I think it's important to acknowledge those and see what might be holding me back from making this invitation and then jumping into okay, what can the invitation actually look like? So I would say, okay, sorry, no, go ahead.

Laurie Graham  6:26 
We're totally going off script y'all, when you just said that, like, what holds us back from making the invitation? Can we talk about that for a minute? Oh, yeah. I think part of it is, we need to know that what we're doing has value. Because, as I mentioned, a dinner party. If I have a dinner party going bad, and I know this is going to be a terrible event, right? I don't want to invite people,

Laurie Graham  6:48 
but if I know this is going to be super fun, and there's ping pong, and there's great food, and there's, you know, good music, then I'm like, Oh my gosh, everybody needs a comp. And so I think one of those insecurities is realizing the value of what we're giving to people, and we've got to see that value if we want to invite people genuinely.

Becky Brown  7:06 
I agree, and I would say that my sticking point tends to be a little bit different. I mean, not that I haven't battled the value piece because I have, but my piece tends to feel more forced, to feel like I'm shoving this down their throat, when I and maybe you, need the regular reminder that people chose to be there, they chose to be on your list, and they want to hear from you. And so, okay, let's get back.

Laurie Graham  7:32 
Let's go back. Okay, my question for you, Becky, was, what do you think actually helps somebody decide to join a list?

Becky Brown  7:39 
Yeah, so I think that there are two main routes for people. I think number one, they join a list because they feel connected to you. You made them feel seen and known in some unique way. And I think that this is where you excel. And if you're just starting your list, this is where Laurie is, like the best at it. And here is what I have learned from Laurie in this area. If you're just starting your list and you don't even know who your audience is yet, start with the personal invitations. 

So we can get to, when your list is growing. We're talking about general stuff, so putting a free opt-in on your website, or something like that. But we'll get to that in a second right now, when your list is like two people or zero people, starting with a personal invitation of, hey, you've talked about being interested in this thing. Would you like to hear from me about this? Like one on one, direct message on Facebook, or talking to somebody at church that like feeling connected to you? Number one, they need to feel connected to you, and that is a powerful force in your business. When you're talking to people who want and need what you are offering.

Laurie Graham  8:46 
Yeah, and by the way, I never sent a direct message to somebody I didn't know.

Becky Brown  8:49 
No, no, she's not weird. People do that about it. People do that me too.

Laurie Graham  8:53 
And I'm like, we're talking about people are already connected. Like, connection is so huge. I agree with you, Becky, that'sso good.

Becky Brown  8:58 
Yeah, well, and I think you're really good at thinking of people and remembering details of hey, you brought this up to me that you're struggling with this. If this would be helpful for you, here's this thing that I just created, and you're really good at putting the connections together and remembering. So okay, number two, the other thing that helps people decide to join a list is if you have something valuable that they want. For online businesses, a lot of times that's something like a free printable that they're downloading, some kind of an opt-in that can look a lot different for different businesses, but something valuable that they want. And it might just be the value of hearing from you about that area, that it's just the value of yeah, connection, hearing from you, so.

Laurie Graham  9:45 
And you just simplified something that people make crazy big. What makes people decide to join a list is if they feel connected to you, and if you have something valuable they want, if you're taking notes listening right now, like this could be the scroll-stopping moment of the podcast. Like this is, it's this simple, what makes people want to join a list, or what helps people join a list? It's not the way you say it, it's not how you show up. It's not how loud you shout it. It's not the words you use. It's not that you used a template that you found online. What makes people want or helps people decide to join an email list is if they feel connected to you, and if you have something valuable they want, like, that's it. That's it, connection and value. So Becky, you've talked a couple times about, like, not wanting to feel like you're pressuring people or forcing people. What makes it feel a little more like a natural 'Yes', instead of pressure?

Becky Brown  10:37 
Yeah? Well, you talked about the models that we often have teaching email marketing or sales, often, often they just feel so gross that I'm like, Ooh, I just can't talk my conscience into being okay with that approach. And oftentimes it feels like they're telling you have to inflate whatever you're offering to make it sound appealing, and it just always sounds so gross. 

So I would say that, being honest about what I'm offering, but going back to what you said earlier, seeing the value in what you're offering, and then being honest about what it actually is, versus shoving it down their throats with a million pop ups. I am not anti pop up, by the way, but I'm talking about like, if you have a pop up on your website, good for you. I'm talking about the incessant badgering, the pop up and then you close it, and another pop up and you close it, and there are just sites where it's like, oh my gosh, I can't even get to what I want because it's all over the place, and you won't accept my Yes. So yeah, I don't I'm not a fan of badgering, and I'm not a fan of inflating what you have to offer. I hate the phrasing, 'this is the solution to all of your problems'. 'You need this. This is the most important thing if you want to succeed.' Here. I hate over inflating. It's not the answer, it's an answer. But I would say the other piece of that is valuing your ideal audience over the numbers of having a big audience. So if your goal is just get all the people on my list, get as many as I can, whoever was willing to sign up, get them. That's not going to be nearly as effective and helpful for your people versus finding the people who really need you and being okay if these people don't need that right now.

Laurie Graham  12:22 
I love that you said that, because I think mentally, when we're trying to get numbers and we don't value the people in front of us, I do think that energy comes out in the way we say things, in the desperation in our voice or in our phrasing, or just the energy when we're talking with people or sharing. Like I know for me, I'm so much calmer now because, you know, we'll talk about unsubscribes, I think maybe in the next episode or something. But like, you know, if you're not my person, and I don't mean value as a person, but if you're not, if what I'm offering isn't a value to you, that's okay, yeah, and it's actually good. 

So you know, if we can be clear about what the value is and finding the people who are going to connect with us, people don't join just because we exist. You know, you're on the internet and they're going to find you, or you sell something out of your home, or, you know, there's so many home bakers now who nobody can find them, right? People don't just join because you exist and you have this amazing product. They join you because they know about you, because they've been invited, because the value is clear, because you have repeated. Now you we talked about not badgering, but repeating. Something isn't annoying when it's simple and consistent. 

I was just at a little food truck kind of night where I'm at, and there was a home baker, and she puts her scones and baked goods in a little shop in town. And I loved her, and I took her card, and I lost her card, and her name was Rebecca, and I hope I figure out who she is again, like, I hope I hear from her again. I don't know how I'm gonna hear from her like, and I hope I do. And so I think there's that thing of repetition isn't annoying, if it's simple and consistent and it's kind and it's what we want. Like finding the people who want what you have to offer. Like, I hope she I hope I see her a million places. I want her to repeat it to me.

Becky Brown  14:13 
So can we just tie this to SEO for just one second? Because, man, if you're a home baker, you know what I would do is I would go and search my town name, scone, home baker, and I would try to find that person. And if those words are in her, her presence online, whether it's on a website or on Instagram, if she's saying, oh, people in this town, look at the scones I have to offer you today, she's going to be easier to find. Her offer is clear. Her value. If she has all these pictures of the scones, they're gonna look delicious.

Laurie Graham  14:45 
Yeah, and talking about email lists. By the way, in Episode 30, we're talking about why your business needs an email list, even if it's not the typical one that you think needs an email list. There's several people in our Soulful Strategy Community we're coaching right now, who have home more, like physical product type things, and they're like, oh, email lists don't really fit. It totally does you guys, like it totally does. It's totally going to grow your business. So let's get back to this email list and what we're talking about here on growing your list. Because you also don't want to just stick with your 10 or your 100 or even your 15,000. You've got a big email list. You do want more growth, because we want to reach more people with the value that we have. So let's keep going with what this growth looks like in real life.

Becky Brown  15:31 
Yeah, yeah. And I think this is where we've both had to shift our expectations over the years that just because you put this new strategy in place, or you try this new thing to grow your list, it doesn't necessarily result in this huge spike of all the people seeing your value all of a sudden and joining your list like crazy. Often, list growth happens like one person here, a couple people there, someone's been watching you for a while, and they finally decide to come up and yeah, Laurie, I kind of want to know what what is your actual experience been with growing your list? What does that look like for you?

Laurie Graham  16:12 
Okay, so we have two different lists right now, one with Smart Soulful Business, and one with Small Church Ministry. And I've also had a few other lists I've started on the side, like, like waitlists and things like that. So let me kind of put this together. So lists always start out really small, like they just do because that's where you're at. Becky and I do not support buying email lists. You guys just don't do that. Like putting money in. People say, I'll sell you my list. I just delete those and report them as spam all the time. 

So email list growth looks, for me, really sporadic, and the reason it looks sporadic is because I have, I currently have online conferences. So when you do online events, or you have, you get to speak at an online conference, or maybe you, like our home baker, and you set up at a fair, right? And you've got a little QR code to grow your list, you're going to get spurts of this growth, and those are so exciting, like, it's so exciting to get these spurts of growth, but in between, it's very low and steady. And I think one of the things that I wish everybody understood more is it's slower than you expect, and that's normal. It builds over time. It's not overnight. You're going to get spurts which are huge and are important. Like, we want to look for those spurts of growth, whether it's a fair an event, you can put something in a bundle where other people are sharing too. You're you're sharing with other audiences. 

Becky and I do that together, and we see that happen, right? But people join to, remember that people join when it makes sense for them, they don't join when you make a big push. So I think that's the other thing. It's not dependent on us, it's dependent on them. And yes, we can learn skills and we can be consistent, and we're going to teach you all sorts of ways to be more consistent, to grow in our own leadership and business skills, so that it's consistent, but the right people come closer when our offers are clear, when they make sense, when it's valuable and when we feel good about them. Like I think a lot of this goes to our own insecurities as well as our own expectations, like when we get disappointed that it's not growing fast enough, that does something in our minds, and it shuts us down, like so much of what we teach here at Smart Soulful Business, is about it's about our own mind and brain work and personal growth. Like it, y'all, it just goes off in your business. Like it, literally, I don't know it touches every aspect in every way. 

But when we start to realize that it's slower than we expect, and that's normal, and it's fine, it's this is not overnight. It's over time, people join when it makes sense to them. I think when we grab a hold of those things, things start feeling a lot more doable. So instead of asking, how do I grow it faster, one of the questions when you're growing your email list, no matter what stage you're at, baby stages, or you've got 100,000 on your list, wherever you want to grow, the question is, where are people already paying attention to me? Again, this could be your website. It could be something else you might maybe have a website. So thinking of, where are people already paying attention and how do I give a simple next step? Or how do I invite them, like this goes back to invitations. So Becky, where do you see this happening? Or where have you seen this happen before?

Becky Brown  19:31 
Well, I actually want to jump back to the example you brought up in here of the home baker. I mean, okay, let's say you had walked up and you had said, oh my goodness, this scone tasting that you gave me is delicious, and she had said, oh my goodness, you just moved here. Well, I actually email once a week with my new flavors of the week.

Laurie Graham  19:51 
So you guys, I would have jumped on that email list. I would have jumped on it.

Becky Brown  19:53 
And what I want you to recognize here is that she could not have predicted that somebody knew, had just moved to town and was going to taste her baked good that day, but there is a chance that you could have been a regular customer for years to come by the next five years. So I guess that just seemed like the perfect example to show what valuable list growth could look like. And it's not in big numbers, it's in finding your person and showing them clearly. Hey, this is how we stay connected. Do you want to hear about more scone flavors? Because I keep making them, and that is really powerful. So, yeah, I think.

Laurie Graham  20:36 
What do you think is a small shift that somebody could even make this week?

Becky Brown  20:40 
I think that the most important thing you can do right now is pay attention to where your people are interacting with you already, whether that's 10 people or one person, where is that person that needs what you have to offer interacting with you? Is that on a website? Is that on social media? Is that at a farmers market, like, pay attention to where your person has interacted with you and add one clear invitation. Like I said, there's lots of options for that, from a free printable to just telling somebody I email out my weekly specials, but think about one invitation for your business that you can offer somebody, and make sure that when you picture that person, it's not through the lens of insecurity, of, oh no, like this, I'm going to be bothering them. 

Think about it through the lens of, man, I have something valuable that people want. And think about that person. What is their next step? How do they want to connect with you. Make that your next clear invitation in your business, and make sure to keep it simple. No overthinking is allowed here, because that's where we talk ourselves out of really good ideas, try it, and if it doesn't work, oh well, you'll try something different next week or the week after, and it can be like Laurie was talking about earlier. You can stay really calm, and it doesn't have to be this huge, grandiose, perfect idea. Just start with an idea that you throw out there and try it for a while and see if it works.

Laurie Graham  22:11 
Yeah, I love that. It's like having something in place that you know is valuable, and you start share it with people that you think are going to like it, right? I mean, that's where we're at. You can start focusing on growing your list. When you have that in your in your mind, you know, like, like, what do I have to offer, and how do I invite people to it? And this grows your impact.

Becky Brown  22:30 
Yeah, and that's exactly why we created the course, Why You Need An Email List and How To Grow One. Because this part the growth can feel hard or too big or confusing when you don't have a clear path of how to actually do it, what it actually looked like looks like. And so inside that course, we walk you through how people actually get onto your list, where to invite them, how to invite them, and doing it in a way that feels simple and natural and authentic for you too, without the pressure and weird sales tactics, shoving things down people's throat and all the pop ups, things that, just a simplicity of these step by steps that you can actually follow in a in a purposeful and profitable way. 

So if you have been with us on today's episode, we talked about why growth can feel uncomfortable, and talking through our insecurities there, why it's usually not pushy, but often it can be unclear what growth actually looks like in real life, in your actual business, and how to make list growth simpler than often, we make it in our minds.

Laurie Graham  23:43 
And we like to help make it simpler for you, too. So each week on the podcast, there's a free Action Guide. We would love for you to grab it. It's going to help with this exact situation we're talking about. 

This week's free Action Guide is called the No Pressure List Growth Plan. The No Pressure List Growth Plan. Love it. It was really fun to put together. Just take a few minutes, download it and map out where people are already seeing your work. And there it walks you through some steps of like a simple way to invite them to stay connected. That's it. That's one step for this week. We take one step every week, every day, consistently, you're going to watch your business grow in a way that that you've been struggling with for two years, and you're gonna be like, Oh, it's so much simpler and easier. So we're here for you.

Becky Brown  24:28 
Thank you so much for being here with us today, and don't miss this is not the end of our series yet. Next week, we are going to be talking about what happens after you send the email, the part that can mess with your head a little bit, unsubscribes, open rates the data that moment that you wonder if anyone is actually going to read what you wrote. So if you've ever hesitated to hit send and the data messes with your head, this one's for you. So if you want steady support as you build your business, come join us in the Soulful Strategy Community. Laurie and I love hanging out there. There and walking alongside you to help you navigate these sticking points that you're aware of or not aware of, and just help you keeping moving forward in your business. The link for that is in the show notes. We would love to walk this out with you. See you next time. Go team.