Quality Time as a Gift for the Holidays

Scott Murray hosts a discussion on the importance of quality time with children during the holidays, featuring Stacie Martin, Rhiannon Graham, and Jelesa Warren. 

Stacie emphasizes the significance of community gatherings and volunteering. 

Rhiannon shares her experience of celebrating Christmas with both parents and the joy of family traditions. 

Jelesa discusses the challenges of split families and the importance of creating unique experiences. They reflect on cherished childhood memories, such as baking with family and receiving meaningful gifts. 

Scott shares his experiences of giving back and the impact of philanthropy. The conversation concludes with a focus on the value of rest and time as gifts.

Transcript

Scott Murray  0:00  
Welcome to another edition of because they matter, forever on a mission, committing to encouraging, educating and empowering parents, raising their children in an impactful and loving way, because they matter. Now, let's welcome our co host, former single parent mom and founder of single parent advocate in Dallas, Texas. Stacie Martin also along, founder of single but not alone, and the reigning Miss Capital City, Illinois, Rihanna and Graham and I'm Scott Murray, speaker, author, journalist and CEO of the Scott Murray Scholarship Foundation and lifting spirits, building dreams. We welcome you all to because they matter. Hello again, everybody. Great to have you along as we welcome you all to another edition of because they matter. As we talk about the most important people in our in our entire world, our children. That's right. We're talking about everybody that that makes a difference in the lives of those that need them most, and certainly our young people, keeping them positive and productive and and just very passionate about who they are and what they're all about and what their purpose is in life, and how they have to feel confident and most courageous about everything they're a part of. And I have with me three young ladies that have certainly been a part of that over the years. Why don't you introduce yourself, Stacie. We'll start with you, my friend. Go for it. Hi

Stacie Martin  1:24  
everybody. I'm Stacie Martin. I'm the founder of single parent advocate. We're sure glad that you're back, and I'm very excited to be talking about our our topic today, which is going to be about quality time with our kids over the holidays, even though our schedules are crazy and the world seems crazy, and bringing along Rhiannon Graham with me, who is the founder of single but not alone, and one of our community members and volunteers Miss Jalisa Warren, who has been contributing at single parent advocate Scott so I'm Really excited to get all of the family together. Rhiannon, do you want to say a couple words before we jump in?

Rhiannon Graham  2:06  
Yeah, I'm just really excited to be back and get into this holiday crazy season and talk about all the things we're thankful for, and with the holidays coming up, also the power of a gift.

Stacie Martin  2:17  
And what about you? Jalisa, what's on the top of your mind today,

Jelesa Warren  2:22  
you say holiday, holiday craziness, and it resonates with me. So I'm just so excited to talk about how we wrangle the craziness and enjoy the quality time with our kiddos. And really just excited to be in this space with you all.

Scott Murray  2:35  
Well, let me. Let me start off here by by asking all three of you, what to you, is the most important thing that we might be able to share with our children during the holiday season, and, for that matter, during the course of the year. But more specifically, during the holiday season, is there something that you might do a little differently, or the expectations of what they expect, what they might be? Who'd like to start? Tillisy, would you like to start?

Jelesa Warren  3:02  
Yeah, yeah, that's actually, that's a good question for us, you know, one we had to kind of recalibrate on what our traditions and what Christmas means for us as a family, you know, especially being that we're a split family home now, and so we really focus on spending quality time with our loved ones and making sure that we're having unique experiences. So for my kids, you know, one holiday, they're with one parent, and the next holiday, they're with another parent. So there's a lot of moving pieces going on on top of all of the holiday performances that they're doing. So we're seeing family come together different dynamics, and so I have to always encourage them that it's an opportunity to have different experiences for Christmas with each person that they're with, and the same thing even for Thanksgiving. So we really focus on quality time with all of our family members, and then coming back and talking about what we enjoyed the most and what was different, what was a new tradition, so we can spin the change in the craziness in a positive way and kind of create a legacy for your for your own family. Exactly, exactly. Okay, how about

Scott Murray  4:21  
how about you? Rhiannon, what comes to mind?

Rhiannon Graham  4:25  
I think the holiday seasons are always so crazy for every family. I think everyone can relate to that. So this holiday season, my mom and I were actually talking a couple days ago, and we really want to focus on standing still this holiday season and really diving deep into what our traditions are. Stacie is clapping for me. Thank you, Stacie. We run like crazy for school, for being a title holder in the Miss America opportunity. My mom works two jobs, and this holiday season, honestly, we're looking forward to staying home, continuing our tradition and making holiday cookies. My mom makes the best. Fudge during the holiday is literally unimaginable. I'm going to have to send some to Texas. I know it's very naughty, but just really finding peace in this holiday season and standing still to spend that quality time with your family members is so important.

Unknown Speaker  5:13  
Stace, how about it?

Stacie Martin  5:16  
Well, there's no standing still in my world, because, you know, I'm the lucky founder of a community of families. Single parent advocate is serving 100 to 150 families this Thanksgiving season, and that didn't feel like standing still, but I will say this for the first time ever, we had a gathering where we brought in catered holiday food when we all sat together for the first time. So for those of you who don't know, single parent advocate is 15 years old, and so we've always brought in grocery items and things that are, you know, supplies to make a nice holiday meal, to empower single families to be able to cook at home. But we've never actually sat down as a community and eaten together, so we did that last weekend. And you know, I have to tell you, Rhiannon, that was just amazing. We got we got to sit down and talk and take pictures. And one of the original board members, who's named Evelyn Dickerson, surprised us, and came, she drove, like 150 miles with one of her sons to come and see us, and we haven't seen her in a long time. And so you're right, if we sit still, I think the energy around us settles and I'm terrible at sitting still. I just have to confess that I was just chasing my tail for the sake of chasing myself. I also terrible habit. I think

Rhiannon Graham  6:56  
that was your way of standing still and reflecting on these past amazing 15 years of what you've done, and finally being able to have that get together. So that's amazing, and kudos to you. Yeah,

Stacie Martin  7:06  
we had it catered by a new coffee shop here in the Dallas Fort Worth area called Cerulean Blue, and that was opened up by one of our sponsors, called Expo home improvement. And the other thing that was kind of crazy is one of our area corporations donated 50 bicycles for families. And so Expo Home Improvement went to with me to associate, which is, is here, and they put together like 600 bicycles, 50 of which are being contributed to our families, and then also for the holidays, the Dallas bakers club selected single parent advocate to be a recipient of some of their donations for their holiday gathering. And so I haven't felt like I've stood still. And I think that's amazing goal. I know, Scott, you haven't been standing very still. Tell us what you're up to. Maybe reflecting on all of this together is the best way we can talk about it. You know, how do we make holidays less crazy and have more quality time?

Scott Murray  8:12  
Well, I don't know that we can make it less crazy, but I think it is. As long as we're doing things in a positive, productive way, that's what really matters. You have to have purpose in everything you do every single day. And I think when it comes to being this time of year, be it Thanksgiving, be it Christmas, be it Hanukkah, whatever it might be, I think that we're all hopefully a little more benevolent, a little more philanthropic, a little more concerned about others than we are about ourselves. Santa Claus. When we were a kid, we were anticipating what, what the man was going to lie down the chimney with on Christmas Day and leave at the, you know, the bottom of the bottom of the Christmas tree. But that's when you're a child, and that's the anticipation of what, what it's going to be like. And what have you I have my first grandson. He's 15 months old now, but I so look forward to Christmas now, because he's beginning to recognize things now at that age, and as young as he is, and, you know, learning to walk and what have you, it's it's fun to see him just anticipate every little thing. And so I look forward to that, but I think that just when I think of Christmas or the holiday season, I think of children, and I remember as a kid, my parents were both very philanthropic. Both, you know, we didn't have millions of dollars or anything. It was just that they, they like to give to others to make a helping hand. And we, we I remember going to the food bank with my mother when I was all of seven, eight years old. And I think I've told this story to you, Stacie before, I lost my best friend of leukemia when we were both in second grade, both seven years old and and it came just before Christmas. It actually happened on the third of November. We went trick or treating together. And. Had a great time. We came home, and my mom and dad had two Maxwell House coffee cans sitting on the kitchen counter when we came back, and they said, Did you get lots of candy? And what'd you get? And, oh, look at that. Oh the how exciting that is for trick or treating and what have you. And then, then, and we just went in the little neighborhood where we were. So you know that they knew where we were. And then everything was alright and we were safe, but we came back, and then four days later, little Frankie, my buddy, his parents, were in our second grade class, and we didn't understand why Frankie's parents here. Well, they proceeded to tell us that he had been diagnosed with leukemia, and he was gone in about six months. And so that's when I decided I was going to become a pediatrician someday, and went off to college to become a pediatrician. But ever since then, I think of the the little coffee cans that my mother and she had wrapped around them the word UNICEF, you and I, C, E, F, and she said, Okay, boys, meaning me and my buddy, Frankie and my little sister. She said, the three of you now can go out and you're going to collect some money, not some candy, but some money, and then we'll write a check to the United Nations and to the to the children of different countries around the world, whether it's Africa, whether it's Asia, whether it's Europe, wherever it might be, to help those that don't have candy, don't have food, don't have a place to live, don't have a place to sleep, just don't have a mom and a dad like you do. So we we did that, and then because of Frankie's passing, you know, about six, eight months later, our entire class did that on his behalf for UNICEF, until we graduated, and we did it at this time of year. We did it right before Thanksgiving. Is when, when we did it. Well, we went trick or treating and for the for the UNICEF like that. But then at Thanksgiving, we did some things with the Food Bank and and that's when I was introduced to all that. My mother was involved, and she got all of the boys and girls in the class. So we were doing it when we were seniors in high school. And it just made a it was, it became a tradition. So I think things like that, when you can give back and make a difference in the lives of those that do need it most. I think that's really what sets us apart and helps those that certainly Stacie, you're helping every day with, you know, with your children's advocate, you know, and just it, just single parent advocate, I mean, and the children that are from single parents, it makes a difference. It really does. And, of course, same thing at Christmas time, you know, you just see, we're, we're involved in the our company, Marie media, set up the in his sponsoring the, the Ronald McDonald House at, at North Park Mall here in here in Dallas. And it's just, you know, it's all kids, it's all toys, it's all but just to give them an opportunity. Those that don't have a, you know, need a helping hand. And our Children's Cancer Fund that I've been on the board with since the 1980s Troy Aikman, Roger Staubach, couple of Hall of Fame Super Bowl winning quarterbacks for the Dallas Cowboys, they've been involved over the years. And it just, it's, it's, you know, just helping those that you get a helping hand, and it becomes a tradition, and that's so

Stacie Martin  13:04  
you're right spot it the process, when I look back at, you know, being a single mom of the holidays was always filled with, you know, volunteering at our church or volunteering, you know, not everybody's founded a nonprofit like I'm crazy. I get that. But you know, when you go and you give together, volunteering at a food bank or volunteering at your church or volunteering together as a family is one of the best ways to fully connect, especially during the holidays.

Scott Murray  13:47  
Well, it's the ultimate gift you could give anybody. We all looked at, yeah, Christmas or who's going to give what gift, or whatever. But doing that for others, it's the ultimate gift. Just giving of your time. You don't have to be a millionaire if you can write a check or share some some dollar bills with somebody, that's, that's fine, but it's, it's giving of your time and your talent and showing that you have the heart to be a difference maker. That's what you know like, I've always said, live your life as a go getter, but share your life as a go giver. And that's what we need to be this time of year. That's that becomes a great tradition. How about a

Stacie Martin  14:22  
lot of parents? Julissa kind of spoke to this. A lot of parents are separated from their children during the holidays because the of the alternating visitation. And, you know, custody things that go on. And you know, even if you're alone as a parent during a holiday, getting up and going to contribute or volunteer somewhere can also be equally meaningful. I would think, because you don't feel so alone, I don't know, Jalisa, do you have something to maybe suggest? Just,

Jelesa Warren  15:02  
yeah, the holidays are hard, um, especially, you know, for me, I love Christmas. And I remember, as I was edging up to my first Christmas without my kids, and like, trying to really wrap my head around what that would mean, and just kind of trying to anticipate how I'm going to feel, because you do feel lonely, and I also think like being in a space with family as a single parent, especially if that family is not like inclusive when it comes to single parenting, that's a whole different experience in itself. But for me and this I actually got this piece of advice in my divorce care group where they said, come up with traditions that are different than what you were doing as a family of four, and then it doesn't always have to fall on the holiday. Like Christmas. Isn't just Christmas because it's on the 25th you have the ability for Christmas to be on the 28th or maybe Christmas is going to be on the 16th. And I started really framing it that way for my kids, that Christmas is whenever we choose to celebrate it. So for example, this Christmas, they will be with their dad. So my family knows, from their grandparents to their aunts and uncles, that means we're celebrating Christmas the first two weeks of December, and we're not going to speak on Oh, I hate that you're you're going here. I actually try not to put that into my kids. I always try to make sure they understand you're going into another great experience to support the relationship they have with their dad, but it's kind of they they don't even really think about the actual Christmas Day, which is amazing, because they know when they get home on the 28th our family is still going to be here. We're going to have Santa from across the street walk over, and it's still going to feel like Christmas. So I think for not putting so much pressure on I have to celebrate on the actual holiday for it to be important. You're the one that gets to control the importance of the holiday. Yeah.

Scott Murray  17:17  
Great point. Great point. Brianna, How about how about you?

Rhiannon Graham  17:21  
So growing up, I kind of had a unique experience having divorced parents. I would wake up on Christmas and at my mom's house, and I would open gifts here do the Christmas they wanted mom till about noon, and then dad would come pick me up, and I would be with dad for the rest of the day. So my parents split the day on Christmas always, and for as long as I can remember, I've had two Christmases. And I'm sure your children, both of your children, can relate. And you know, it was really hard growing up, but I really tried to change my mindset lately. Instead of being like, Oh, I have to have two Christmases. I have two Christmases. I have two separate families. So more like, wow, I have the ability to be filled with more love, to have two different settings where I get to see different sides of my family, because some people don't have that opportunity. So I really tried to reinvent my thinking and my vision for my Christmases, but it's hard because I leave mom, you know, alone here on Christmas so that breaks my heart. But as an adult, you know things have been better, and I'm just trying to really re envision the holidays with as a young adult with divorced parents. Let me ask

Scott Murray  18:29  
all three of you a question, as you think back to your childhood again, don't know your your past history, whether your parents were divorced at a young age or, I mean that you were young or or when it might have happened, whether you're in high school, whether you're in grade school, but I just but aside from all of that, I just wondered, What do you remember most about Christmas, what it meant to you, and now all these years later, that you might have learned from those early days as a child At Christmas time, and how you in turn, want to, want to make it right for your kids. What, what? What comes to mind? Who, who would like to start?

Unknown Speaker  19:09  
Just jump on start. Okay, go for it. So my

Stacie Martin  19:13  
dad and mom were together up until I was like 19, and then they divorced, but he owned a meat market, and so Christmas and Thanksgiving, it was a feast to be had. I mean, Dad and Mom, all of us, we would cook and have all the employees and and everybody over. And really it was our extended family, and the cooking, cooking together was something that kept us together. And the second thing I'll remember, I remember the most is playing games. We would play cards or dominoes or whatever we you know, could Yahtzee. Me and playing games together was very uniting, also, so whether we were cooking or playing games. And then, of course, Dad was amazingly attached to the Dallas Cowboys, and so we lost him whenever the Cowboys started to play. But you know, it was fun, and I don't know. What about you guys? Rhiannon, Jalisa, what do you remember about your Christmas and thanksgivings besides the shuffle? Yeah,

Rhiannon Graham  20:28  
so I mentioned a little earlier, my mom and I have a lot of baking traditions. So I always remember the house being smelled with all the good goodies of fudge and cookies, and we would dip pretzels and chocolate and put Eminem's on them, and all these different traditions. But we also love to go see different Christmas lights. We would drive around, bring the dog, because our dog is family. Always. We've always had Golden Retrievers, and we would bring the dog to go see Christmas lights, whether that was at Yogi Bear. We have a holiday lane that's in Wisconsin, over the border by us, so it's filled with memories, but I think it's also important that I woke up on Christmas, and my mom was always so prepared with so much love and stockings in the form of a gift, but she always made sure that the big things were from her and not from Sansa. And I think that's something important to note for parents out there that not all parents can afford to buy the most expensive thing. So that shouldn't be from Santa, because the child doesn't understand why their friend got this huge gift and they didn't.

Unknown Speaker  21:33  
Jalisa, how about it?

Jelesa Warren  21:34  
That is such a great point. Rhiannon, and it's so thoughtful, too. Very similar my my parents, they were actually married. They're still married. They've been married about 3536 years now. But when we were growing up, you know, my mom was a stay at home. Mom and my dad was working, so we didn't have a ton of money for gifts, and we focused on, like, going to see Christmas lights. Cooking was very big for our family, and actually planning out that menu, and my mom just loves baking and crafting a really great Christmas menu, so we focused a lot on the experiences that we were having together and sharing. But it's funny, right? Because now I have kids, and my parents are now grandparents, and you almost change into a different person. Because for me, Christmas, you know, you might see five or six gifts under the Christmas tree. For my kids, the Christmas you can't, you can't see the Christmas tree because it's covered in gifts. So they're getting a completely different experience, and I'm witnessing a different one, and I am still kind of in that same spirit of like I just want to spend time with everyone. I want to cook with them, but it's really great to see my parents being able to be in a new season of life and provide their grandchildren with things that they were not able to necessarily provide from a material standpoint for us. So it's a full circle moment. It

Unknown Speaker  23:10  
sure is. It sure is.

Rhiannon Graham  23:11  
Sorry. I'm sorry. I was gonna say it sounds like we need to get our moms in the kitchen together during Christmas to bake together.

Jelesa Warren  23:19  
Yes? And I want the fudge recipe, yes,

Rhiannon Graham  23:21  
yes.

Scott Murray  23:24  
What about the power of a toy? You know, people talk about, you know, kids get this toy, that toy. I'm just curious. It's kind of two parts. And I want to ask you three of the on this, the power of a toy that you might have gotten as a child. Do you remember the one toy or the one gift, whether it was from mom and dad, whether it was from Santa Claus, whether whoever it was, but somebody in the family made, you know, in preferably a mom or dad or Santa gave you a gift that you'll remember the rest of your life, and what impact it had on you. And then just the impact of a toy to a child today, and the power of a toy and how important it is that each child just has something to wow. Look at. I got this for Christmas. This is, you know, and how special it is. And like I said, it's something that most of you, or all three of you, probably remember. If you think back about it. There's one thing that really comes to mind, Stace. You want to start

Stacie Martin  24:20  
well, I can remember two toys. One was a baby doll. It was a little girl baby doll, and I called her sister, and I I drug sister around till her head fell off. And then I think my mom had to replace her, because I was still young, and too I was too upset, so she replaced sister, headless sister with a new sister, maybe around till her head fell off. So the baby doll was really, really special to me. And then the second gift I remember getting that was, you know, really cool. Was a puppy on we. A little poodle. One year. We named her Christy, because we got her at Christmas. And so we loved that little dog. And those were two things that were really reflective of my need for companionship, right? A doll and a dog. And so the power of the toy in my life, I think was a special friend that gave me a

Unknown Speaker  25:23  
special friend. Good answer, Rihanna.

Rhiannon Graham  25:27  
You know, I was really blessed with a mom who worked two to three jobs to make sure that on Christmas morning that I woke up with something under the tree. And I could, I could sit here and tell you about the Barbie Dream House that I got and all the different things, but I think it's really important to note as an adult and now reflecting on financial situations that I just woke up with toys, I don't know how she did it, looking back with all the struggles that we were really struggling to even put food on the table, and I don't want to get too emotional, but I'm just so grateful to have had a mother. Thank you for the heart to have had a mother that sacrificed so much that the tree was filled and the house was filled with so much love. And the parents that are out there listening today that are struggling to buy that Christmas dinner or to buy their children gifts, I really want to fill your cup today and say that you are not alone, and that there are millions of parents, single parents, and two income families, even that are struggling this holiday season, and there is resources available to you through nonprofits like single parent advocate. So please, please reach out if you are in that kind of need. Elisa,

Jelesa Warren  26:35  
yeah, I think you know, for me, my parents were always really good as far as, like, fueling my interest. And I was, like, a little, I just love the exam and coding websites so much. And so they decided to get me a computer. And it was like, you know, the the old school, like desktop and you have the huge hardware disc, but it just it fueled so many passions for me. I got really interested in computer science, and, you know, studied that in school, and to this day, I am a huge techie because of that gift. And so I should probably tell them, thank you. The next time I talked to my mom, because I loved it, and I could only imagine how much a computer costs at that point. So that's, that's what I think about.

Scott Murray  27:28  
Do you have anything in in particular that you remember as a specific toy that that changed your life, that you'll you'll never, ever forget receiving that it just kind of set the tone as to who you are and what you're all about.

Jelesa Warren  27:45  
I think probably this is, yeah, this is, this will age me, but like whenever the Mulan movie came out, I had the opportunity to see it with my parents. You weren't that old, right? I wasn't that old, but that's what I say. I don't like to put it out there. Um, but I they ended up gifting me the doll, and at that time, I was able to also witness my grandmother, who collects dolls, and she has in there all like beautifully preserved. And I wanted that for myself so bad, and that started a tradition where my parents would always gift me a collectible doll, and me and my grandmother were able to share in our passion of collecting those dolls, discussing and kind of understanding the care behind that as well. So it just kind of was another connecting point with family. For me,

Scott Murray  28:41  
we've got about two, two and a half minutes left, so let's just go around. The three of you tell us, if you could, you know, have the opportunity to and you had a a classroom full of, you know, 50 children. What's the message that you're going to share about the holiday season, be it Thanksgiving, Christmas, Hanukkah, whatever it might be, what's the one message you'd like to share with them? Stacie you want to start

Stacie Martin  29:09  
well, my message is always you know, if you feel alone, reach out there. You can feel alone In a crowded room. You can feel alone even though your schedule is stacked, and I think that we get lost in our own self imposed obligations to give and give and give and give, and the best gift you can give your child is a happy, healthy, whole and hopeful mom or dad, and that's what my prayer is for everyone, is that we would, you know, take some time to reach out and be with our kids sky, you know, certainly with our families. But sometimes you. Okay, those guys are not around, and we're there in the room with ourselves. So reach out everybody.

Scott Murray  30:07  
That's good. Okay, 3030

Rhiannon Graham  30:09  
seconds. Rihanna, what's the thought that counts? I don't think it's how big the gift is, how expensive the gift was. If someone got you a gift, that means they were thinking about you and they care about you. Great answer.

Scott Murray  30:21  
Jalisa, 30 seconds,

Jelesa Warren  30:25  
rest and time are gifts too.

Scott Murray  30:28  
Oh, absolutely, absolutely. Well, let me close with a poem. You know me, Ryan has reason. I'm writing my third book, and it's all about Ryan. Here's one about to me. It's how we treat our children. It's not just what we say them. It's how we say it, how we say it, as the poem goes, I got two ways. The small boy cried. His voice was filled with glee. His mother turned and rudely said, But why didn't you get three, Mom, I've got the dishes done. The girl called from the door. Her mother turned and rudely said, but did you sweep the floor? I mowed the grass. The tall boy said, I put the mower away. His father turned and rudely said, but did you clean off all the clay? Now the children in the house next door seem happy and content. The same thing happened over there, but this is how it went. I got two ways. The small boy cried. His voice was filled with glee. His mother turned and smiled and said, I'm glad you live with me, Mom, I've got the dishes done. The girl called from the door. Her mother turned and smiled and said, each day I love you more. I mowed the grass. The towboy said, I put the more away. His father turned and smiled and said, You've made me happy. Today, children desire a little praise for things they're asked to do if they're to lead a happy life. So much depends on you. So make it an incredible holiday season, Thanksgiving, Hanukkah, Christmas, whatever it might be, the four of us certainly wish you a very, very happy holiday. Stay safe, be strong, be kind, be respectful, and Merry, merry, merry, whatever it might be, thanks to all three of you So long everybody, and thanks for this tradition of because they matter.

Unknown Speaker  32:00  
Alright, we're done. I love that poem.

Scott Murray  32:05  
I love that thanks. Here's here's another one. I'll do it real fast before we move on to the next one. I'm writing the third book, and and Stacie has heard this one, but I my my keynote across the country is, is leadership America creating Champions of Change through a culture of civility. Because people have lost the ability to be kind, courteous and respectful. So I'm doing all these three verse poems, and so this one goes, living life is not just about me. A purposeful life is all about we sharing together all that we see, even though we might not always agree, respectful and kind is forever key. Truthful and transparent is what we should be eradicating the anger and the hateful debris. Live not in a world where we need referees. So let us move forward in a place we foresee diverse and inclusive for both he and she. Man is not religion nor race. Faith is for thee. We must live in our home that's our home of the free. Live in a world that's our home of the free So, alright, enough on that. Stacie goes, Oh, Scott, I've only heard that 1000 times, so

Stacie Martin  33:07  
I did not say that. Did you guys hear me say that?

Scott Murray  33:10  
I'm just playing with you. Okay, so are you ready to go now? Who? Jalisa, you've only got to what

Jelesa Warren  33:17  
time. I only have until noon, and I do not want to interrupt the powerful conversation that you guys are going to have, so I'm going to drop off, if that's okay with you. Stacie, okay, thank you guys so much for always having me. It's always great to be in the space with you and sharing your stories, and I'll see you on the next one. Well,

Scott Murray  33:38  
have a great holiday and happy Thanksgiving. Thank you.

Unknown Speaker  33:42  
Okay,

Scott Murray  33:46  
alright, um, so what do we want to do here? What? What are we doing? Stace, tell me so the

Stacie Martin  33:52  
show, we kind of started teasing this topic a few minutes ago about the power of a toy. Yeah, and I started to talk, yeah, I thought we were

Scott Murray  34:03  
going to do more, one on Thanksgiving and one on Christmas, weren't we? That's why,

Stacie Martin  34:11  
which is fine. It's just that we all need to come up with something that we want to talk about at Christmas.

Unknown Speaker  34:17  
You mean Thanksgiving?

Scott Murray  34:22  
We just did Christmas. We really didn't talk kind

Rhiannon Graham  34:25  
of bold as we talked about it was both thankful. So should we just do that one? I mean, it was content. It could just be a holiday,

Unknown Speaker  34:35  
yeah, just,

Rhiannon Graham  34:38  
or I, or we could do another one that's more pointed towards this specifically?

Stacie Martin  34:43  
Well, when I You

Scott Murray  34:46  
didn't think the last one was pointed more towards Christmas and Thanksgiving, we didn't even we talked about volunteering

Stacie Martin  34:52  
and giving back, and I feel like we'll be

Unknown Speaker  34:58  
thankful. Yeah. Yeah, we could do that.

Stacie Martin  35:01  
Y'all, y'all, y'all, can lead me without the nose. Um, I had my head wrapped around, you know, toy ideas by age groups I've been interested in and, you know, like, what does a toy do for you?

Unknown Speaker  35:15  
Why don't we do a

Scott Murray  35:20  
little bit I, why don't we? I read some, you know, statistics earlier about, you know, 1621 when the programs began Thanksgiving. That was the first Thanksgiving, and I thought we could have some fun and go, you know, it's been over 400 years, you know, 1621 and here we are in six or 2024 and just talk about how, how Thanksgiving, you know, how you've spent your Thanksgiving, what it meant to you as a kid. And then saying, of course, just around the corner is Christmas. And then get into all those things that you talk about, trace that you you know, 20, 3040, or whatever that you just said, Does, does that make sense?

Stacie Martin  35:58  
Yeah. No, absolutely. I love it. Can I have a bio break for three minutes? A what I need? A bio break? A

Speaker 1  36:06  
bio break? Is that a potty break? Yeah, okay, yeah. I'll go ahead

Scott Murray  36:12  
and start the show, and then you just jump on when you want. Okay, it's a joke. It's another joke. No, no, don't disappear.

Unknown Speaker  36:21  
She's out of here. Don't just go with you. Go to the bathroom. I

Stacie Martin  36:27  
just ghosted you. Yeah, I ghosted you. You

Unknown Speaker  36:32  
sure did alright. No, she left again.

Rhiannon Graham  36:38  
What time do you have today? Scott, till noon.

Scott Murray  36:41  
I've got till 1150 Oh, no, I'm just kidding. I've got to whatever we need. I was gonna say

Rhiannon Graham  36:49  
that might not work. No,

Speaker 1  36:50  
I've got till 1230 Okay, that's perfect. So we're good to go. So how you doing? I'm good. I'm

Rhiannon Graham  36:57  
busy. I'm wrapping up my semester of school here, so I have finals in the next week or so. And what year is that? Um, so I'm actually in graduate school for my master's degree. So it's my first semester. Good

Scott Murray  37:09  
for you. Good for you. Oh, I'd be most proud for you. That's Oh, that's awesome. Yeah, thank you. And what is it you're studying social

Speaker 1  37:18  
work? Oh, are you really? That's fantastic. What kind of goes hand in hand with I can see you as a social worker, yeah, yeah.

Rhiannon Graham  37:29  
My dream was to turn in single, but not alone, to its own nonprofit, and not just a passion project here, to like what Stacie does, and different things of that nature, but here in the Midwest, so,

Scott Murray  37:41  
well, that's awesome, yeah, what's, what's your, your your BS and your BA degree, your undergrad? Yeah,

Rhiannon Graham  37:48  
I have a Bachelor's of Science in Criminal Justice with a minor in psychology.

Scott Murray  37:52  
Okay, LDAP, psychology is my, was my? Yes,

Rhiannon Graham  37:56  
yes, yeah. So they kind of go hand in hand to criminal justice and social my emphasis in my degree is with children and families. So

Unknown Speaker  38:09  
well, that's super Yeah, yeah.

Rhiannon Graham  38:11  
And I just started a new job internship with a domestic violence shelter, so I work at their family visitation center. So I'm working with families going through custody and things of that nature. That's I'm holding you now. I'm 23 I'll be 24 next month, though. Okay, okay, yep, eight.