Give Yourself Permission to Want More

Welcome back to Proof It's Possible! In this episode, we dive into the powerful balance between gratitude and desire—and why giving yourself permission to want more isn’t something to feel guilty about. We unpack the cultural narratives that often hold us back, especially as women, from embracing our full range of desires and dreams. Tune in to hear:

• Why gratitude should be the foundation, but wanting more is okay.
• Recognizing personal joy is essential in understanding what you truly want.
• Why it's important to challenge the narrative of 'good is good enough.'
• How desiring more can lead to greater opportunities and fulfillment.

What would change if you gave yourself full permission to want more? Share your thoughts with us—we’d love to hear!  DM us on Instagram @dayle_sheehan_designs & @jamiedfrancis! See you next time!

This episode is sponsored by our Ultimate Girls Trip! Be sure to go to www.proofitspossible.com for more info

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Transcript

Dayle (00:01)
Welcome back.

Thank you guys for joining us today. We were talking about giving ourselves permission to want more. So it's like doing that dance between being grateful for what you have, but also saying, I still want more. I'm, I'm allowed to want more and I'm allowed to more importantly, not use language that tells the universe that

What you have is good enough and you don't need anything else. And it's the internal conversation I also feel like, especially for women, but people in general, that you are being ungrateful if you don't just be like, thank you for everything I have. This is good. I'm more blessed than anybody else. So I have what I need and that's enough. So what are your thoughts on that? Like, how do you like internally justify or come? You know, go against the pressure to like, not just be grateful for what you have and that's good.

Jamie (01:02)
Well, I think that like gratitude has to be the base of it all, always. Like you can't be like, oh, my life is so horrible. If I just got this, then it would be better. Like you do have to have like gratefulness. But I also think that it's a hundred percent okay to want more for yourself. So, and it doesn't make you a bad person. Like to be like, oh, I would like a different house, a bigger house, a nicer house. would like, it doesn't make you bad. in fact,

Dayle (01:07)
Yes. For sure.

Absolutely.

Jamie (01:31)
gives you something to strive for. And like a house is just a silly example, but you're allowed to want more. You're allowed to want to fly private. You're allowed to want to have a successful business that makes seven figures. You're allowed to want all of this stuff. And in fact, I think that if you do want it, it's like a desire on your heart is already like put the balls in motion. Like, you know, you're already dreaming it up if you already have the thought that you want it. You're already like started the process of like manifesting it. But I do think that as a society, as in particular, as women, we have been like conditioned to believe that good is good enough. You know, like if your husband brings home an income and you got food on the table, good is good enough. And a roof over your head, good is good enough. And I think that's a very dangerous trap to fall into because if good is always good enough, well, where do you draw the line?

Dayle (02:00)
Exactly.

for sure.

Mm-hmm.

Well, where

can you grow because you're like, I have enough food today. So that I'm not allowed to hope for extra food, you know, or and like I think about it, not even in like, not even in like actual amounts that you have, but opportunities. Like I think about it, you know, it's like I, I'm speaking on stages, let's say. and those stages are maybe more local and they're not paying a lot or they're whatever like

Jamie (02:37)
and I also think that like it's-

Dayle (02:55)
whatever level that you're at. But you can see yourself on a huge stage, or you can see yourself writing the book or doing the big thing. But if you stop that thought because you're like, already journal every day and those writings can just be for me, I don't need the book, this is good enough, I get to sit with my own thoughts. Other people, you literally are shrinking to the size of you're like,

good is good enough story. Whatever that story is for you, whatever the area. Exactly.

Jamie (03:26)
Mm-hmm. Whatever feels safe in your community. So if like

your community is your family or the community in which you live or your peers or your friend group, your colleagues, yeah. And I also feel like good is good enough can be used to excuse or like give pardon to bad behavior as well. Like, well,

Dayle (03:38)
or your work coworkers, yeah.

In what way?

Jamie (03:53)
you know, my husband is good enough because he does have a job and he provides for us. I mean, he's a total asshole and you know, he's a negligent parent or whatever the story is, but like you've convinced yourself that like, well, I should just be grateful for what I've got. Good is good enough. And he does have some redeeming qualities or like my job is good enough because it's employed me for 10 years and they, you know, they've given me a one percent.

Dayle (04:01)
Right. Yeah.

Yes.

I think that's a huge trap,

is the security of that.

Jamie (04:23)
one percent raise for

the last 10 years. So I'm making 10 cents more than I did 10 years ago. And I should just be grateful for that. They're good. They're pretty good to me. And good is good enough. There's lots of people in the world that don't have a job like that kind of that kind of thinking is really toxic in my opinion, because it's it keeps you staying so small. And that comparison of like, well, there's lots of people that don't have job. There's lots of people that don't have a husband that goes to work. There's lots of people that don't start the business.

Dayle (04:29)
Mm-hmm.

for sure.

Jamie (04:53)
Well, that's great for them. If they're willing to settle for that in their life, that has absolutely nothing to do with you, you know?

Dayle (05:00)
Well, and the thing is, like, we all have a set of needs. Like we need a roof over our head. We need food on the table. We need whatever, whatever our needs are. But you're allowed to have wants. You're allowed to be like, I love traveling. I love putting my kids in every single sport. And I want them to try out five things this year versus have to pick one. And you don't have to only get what you need. We are allowed.

Jamie (05:11)
Mm-hmm.

Dayle (05:30)
to want more. are like today, leave this conversation if you're listening to this and say out loud, I give myself permission to have everything I want. Because I genuinely think like a lot of the time we just have never processed that we are stopping ourselves in the moment. We are saying, well, this house is all I need. Well, is it like, is it or has your family genuinely outgrown it?

Jamie (05:49)
I'm ready.

Dayle (05:59)
but you've talked yourself into it working. And yes, if you don't have any opportunities, it is all you need. You have a roof over your head. It has heat. You have the food on the table. But what if you, in your dream life, you wanted a house that had amazing laundry room. That was your dream. Or it had enough bedrooms for all your kids so they didn't have to share. Or, you know, whatever. Like whatever that house looks like, you're allowed to want it. And

Jamie (06:25)
Yeah, and

we just feel like that, like, convincing yourself that good is good enough is such a dream crusher. It's such a, like, permission slip to be like, good is good enough, you know? I shouldn't desire more. it, literally immediately extinguishes that, like, fire in your belly to do the extra step, to work a little harder, to take the risk, to whatever it is. Like, for the house example, if you've convinced yourself that, like, your house is good enough,

Dayle (06:30)
Mm-hmm. Totally.

Mm-hmm. It's a total

Mm-hmm.

Well, and something else.

Jamie (06:55)
but your family truly has outgrown it. Well, if you've made peace with the fact that like good is good enough, this house is good enough, even though, you know, a child sleeps under the stairs or whatever, like, um, you stop desiring more. You stop telling the universe. You stop looking on MLS for a bigger listing. You stop looking for ways to get an extra $500 a month because you've settled into like, okay, mediocrity. It's fine. Yeah.

Dayle (07:21)
Yeah, it's fine. Everything's fine.

For sure. And like, I also think that when it comes to wanting more, you can even attach an additional set of negative stories around what it is that you want. like, you go into the other reasons to justify the small thinking where you're like, well, a bigger house would cost more every month and our maintenance would be more.

Jamie (07:36)
Hmm

Dayle (07:49)
and our taxes will be more. So everything else that's also bad is attached to this wanting more. that, like you were saying, further perpetuates the undeservingness of wanting that. And it's like, what if we stopped looking at all the negative parts and be like, we would get the house that we want, we would, you know, and like, yes, the maintenance will be more. Like if you have a house that all of a sudden needs two furnaces, if one of them, you know, if it breaks down, you're gonna need to have

potentially replace two furnaces at once and had this conversation about my own house actually recently and it was something to the effect of like basically I hate spending money on things that it's like I need a new roof well I don't care about the roof I don't actually get joy out of spending money on a new roof I get joy of decorating the house I get joy out of but then I'm like but does this house in general bring me joy

Jamie (08:22)
Mm-hmm.

Dayle (08:50)
immense, like hard to explain, love it so much. It's my comfort zone. It's my place. I entertain people. It's where most of my social life happens. I have like friends and coworker, not coworkers, like entrepreneurial women here for like coffee and you know, connection and all these, all these important parts of my life take part in this home. And I have this amazing space that I can host people and hosting people brings me a ton of joy.

Jamie (09:12)
Okay.

Dayle (09:18)
If I don't replace the roof, although it's not a direct correlation to this one event I might hold here or party I might host, if I let the house deteriorate and all of a sudden the roof leaks into my kitchen, then I tear out the kitchen. That's the actual opposite of joy is not taking care of the thing that brings me joy, which is this house. it's such a like, people are like, it's just a material possession. You shouldn't care about a house that much.

But this house brings me A joy, B connection with people, C safety, D independence. Like this house isn't about the house. It's about the things that it gives me. The house gives me a whole bunch of very important things to me and feelings and opportunities and all of that. And so if I would have just said, you know what, I can just live in a little house that isn't renovated, that isn't wheelchair accessible.

Jamie (10:03)
Mm-hmm.

Dayle (10:18)
I wouldn't have the life I have because I would have settled for something that I had to struggle just to live in, just to get up every day. So it's like, why are you holding yourself back from it?

Jamie (10:27)
I it's really

important to say that like you don't have to struggle. Like it's not either like a really desperate, dire situation or wanting more. It doesn't have to be that extreme. It can literally be like, you know what? I've always dreamed of having a laundry room and I really, my next house, I really want a laundry room because yeah, a hundred percent. Like, or my next house, I really want a big yard so my kids have more space to play outside.

Dayle (10:45)
Exactly. With a folding table and hanging rocks and all the cute decorations. Yes.

Jamie (10:56)
It can be like small minute things. It doesn't have to be like these extreme cases where it's like, well, my house is not handicap accessible. Therefore I have to struggle or I have to be the bad guy and want desire more. It can be simple little things that you just want, not even needs. Just, we just want them.

Dayle (10:56)
Exactly.

Totally.

Absolutely.

Absolutely. And I also think that like, keep an eye on like, what it is that you genuinely want before you stop it. Like, I think like the tip in, because I think what happens is we go down the road of being like, well, this house is good enough. This job is good enough. This relationship is good enough. This whatever is good enough. And for instance, to give you an example of where I genuinely don't care, I'm not a car person. I don't drive.

that much. It's just not that important to me to have a fancy car. So for me, I'm like, how much joy or misery or anything in between does my car give me? None. I have no feelings towards it. It's just a means to get places and I like that. there's nothing to matter with my car and it is good enough for me because there isn't an additional want attached to that that I think about and then squash and then think about and squash.

Cause there's going to be areas like we're using a house as an example, but there's going to be people that like, genuinely don't care about my house, but I do care about travel. And I'd like to take my family on a vacation every year or five vacations every year, or somebody else is wanting a mansion and your dream house is actually just a thousand square foot house with a backyard that's big enough for your dog or your kids or whatever. like, we're all going to have a totally different definition of what it is that we do want, you know,

Jamie (12:21)
you

Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Dayle (12:40)
It's entirely different for each person. another reason to like a take in people's judgments about having something bigger than other people think or having something fancier. Like if you go by the really, really fancy vehicle, you know that there's somebody in your life that's going to come along and be like, God, why do you need so you know, you need so much. You're always chasing the next thing. And I'm not saying that that doesn't happen, that you don't get into a cycle of trying to find the next thing, the next thing.

But know what is truly important to you. What does bring you joy? What does make you happy? What you actually would love to see in your life and manifest it. Think about it, envision it.

Jamie (13:23)
Well,

and maybe even make yourself a little list of where you've said good is good enough. And is that in fact true? Like there are gonna be times when you're like, yeah, no, my car is good enough. I don't desire more. And where is it a lie that you've told yourself? And what language do you need to change in your life so that you stop perpetuating that lie that good is good enough?

Dayle (13:30)
No.

Yeah, exactly.

Yeah.

Well, language and behavior, right? Like language and actions mixed together really create your reality. So it's like, if you say it and then behave in that way, like, cause I can say all day, I don't care about my car and then go shopping for cars every weekend and get obsessed with cars because I, you know, you're around nice things. You're going to be like, I love these, I love them, you know, and eventually I'm going to get myself a new car if I make it my priority to look at cars. so

behave in a way that's different as well once you've made this list. Like, figure out your behaviors and then say, how can I change my language? How can I change my behavior towards that particular goal? Yeah.

Jamie (14:28)
sure.

Okay, I want to hear the ways in which you're like self sabotaging and and accepting good is good enough. So send us a message or comment on this. We want to hear all about it. Okay. Bye guys.

Dayle (14:42)
Have a great week.