The Trust Recession: When Everyone’s an Expert, Who Do You Believe?

Welcome back to Proof It's Possible! In this conversation, Dayle and Jamie discuss the trust recession, the critical importance of conducting thorough research and being aware of potential red flags in decision-making processes. They emphasize the necessity of trusting your intuition and not ignoring warning signs that may indicate underlying issues. Tune in to discover:

• Why there is a trust recession right now
• Why looking into someone's history is essential before deciding if they are a good fit for you
• What red flags Jamie and Dayle look for
• How to make sure that testimonials are actually trustworthy
• How your intuition may be warning you and how to listen

When's the last time you listened to your intuition and said no? Share your thoughts with us — we’d love to hear! DM us on Instagram @dayle_sheehan_designs & @jamiedfrancis! See you next time!

This episode is sponsored by our Ultimate Girls Trip! Be sure to go to www.proofitspossible.com for more info.

For More Information:
• Proof It's Possible Website
• The Ultimate Girls Trip Instagram

Dayle:
• Instagram
• Facebook
• LinkedIn
• Website
• Interior Design

Jamie:
• Instagram
• Facebook
• LinkedIn
• Website

Transcript

Jamie (00:30)
Hi guys, welcome back to Proof It's Possible. Today we're talking all about a trust recession. So I feel a little bit like there's a lot of...

Dayle (00:33)
Bye!

Jamie (00:41)
Smoking mirrors on the internet, I think is kind of the best way to describe it. And not that everybody on the internet is like a scammer or anything. I just think it's more prevalent or they are more accessible. They have more access to a bigger audience right now. And what it's made everybody feel is like very cautious. Like there's a trust recession. You just don't trust whatever you see. know, like you don't, I mean, you have to to be like vigilant.

Dayle (00:45)
Yes.

you hear. Yeah.

Jamie (01:08)
You can't trust every payment link. You can't trust the advice that you're getting, because you don't necessarily know if they are truly the expert. It's kind of like...

Dayle (01:16)
You can't even trust

like if somebody friends you on Facebook, if it's them or a scammer, you know, there's lots of places that we're being scammed. Our phone rings, it's a scammer. We get an email that seems like it's, you know, so and so, and it's actually, you look at the email address, it's not the real person and it's not their regular contact, but it's all their information. So there's all kinds of ways that scammers are out there. But in the service industry, I feel like

Jamie (01:20)
⁓ totally.

Dayle (01:44)
And we've had to like really weed through like, who do we want to trust as our guru as our and we assume that other people are feeling the same way too. And so today we just kind of want to talk talk about like, how do we measure if somebody is real deal if they are total scam and

Jamie (01:49)
Yes.

Yeah, what that looks like. I mean, for me, it always goes back to like the hairdresser analogy. If you don't think your hairdresser has nice hair, you probably shouldn't have her as your hairdresser. Like for me, it always goes back to like proven results. So if I was going to hire a business coach, do they run a successful business? If I was going to hire a accountant, do they have perfectly clean, very nice books and a track record of really happy customers?

Dayle (02:07)
What's going on?

Peace out.

Jamie (02:35)
Do they, you know, like, so it's like doing your research to make sure that person is actually what they say they are. And you know what I think is really prevalent right now is a lot of the like, people you've like influencers or whatever people you follow that are like, I made, you know, $1,055,000 last month and they have like, you know, rate to the penny and 39 cents. And you're like, wow, what does it feel like to make million dollars?

Dayle (02:53)
Mm-hmm.

Jamie (03:02)
and then being kind of duped by the fact that, you know, they've given you, they painted this picture like, it's so simple. All you got to do is buy my system and then you'll be making a million dollars a month too. Like, how do you trust somebody that you've never actually met?

Dayle (03:20)
For sure. And so I think that like what you're saying is my exact number one step is like, what does their life look like? How long have they been in the business? What's the track record for them? What are they offering me? You know, blah, blah, blah. And then the second area that I like want more information on, or I want to keep an eye on is what are their vibes? Like, are they a high pressure sale tactic person? Cause if they're a high,

Jamie (03:44)
Mm-hmm.

Dayle (03:45)
pressure tail, sell tactic person. And I know I don't want to do that. Then should I listen to them? Like are their vibes similar to my vibes? And do we feel like we're the kind of people that have the same style? And if we don't have the same style, I mean, to use the hairdresser or in even closer to home for me, the interior design style, it's like, I wouldn't hire an interior designer that I hate their house.

Jamie (03:52)
you

Mm-hmm.

Dayle (04:12)
So why

would I hire a coach that I hate their sales method or I hate their, their, their like plan of attack on how to get the proven result that we've already realized is proven because we just did the last check or does this person have real results? Who are those real results? You know, and I've even gone so far with the results piece of it where I've been like, Hey, can I jump on a call with you? I want to know what your experience is with past clients. Like if they put up a past client's name, I'll reach out to them on social media and be like,

Jamie (04:15)
Thank you.

Dayle (04:40)
I'm thinking about investing in this coach, this person, this whatever. And it's very interesting because there's people who have like used someone's name in my opinion. And then I've reached out to them and sometimes it's like, my God, hire them yesterday. you're, you know, everything will start clicking once you do blah, blah, blah. And I'm like, okay, that's what I need to hear or

Jamie (04:43)
you

Dayle (05:06)
There are times when I call and they're like, yeah, you know, some of it happened, but a lot of it didn't. And this is what I thought, you know, or whatever. They're like hesitant to say exactly what happened. Or I've had a time where I called to do the reach out and been like, what was your experience? I'm really, really considering. And they're like, don't do it. Run, run, run, run. And I'm like, was not expecting that. Like I had no idea.

Jamie (05:32)
Well,

and you know what I think is part of the problem is that in order to get views and to get likes and to do all, you know, these, a lot of people that are based in social media, like their audience is based in social media. What they do is they, they entice you by writing a testimonial. How truthful are the testimonials if everybody has to write one in order to be considered for a free coaching package or, you know, like

Dayle (05:58)
Exactly.

Yep. Well.

Jamie (06:00)
It was a contest. It was a contest. It was a ballot into a contest if you just did a testimonial. So the testimonial

isn't necessarily the truth. It's just we wanted the outcome.

Dayle (06:10)
Well, and

people's websites, people's social media, if the testimonials are only on there, are they real? Because the owner of that website, the owner of that social media has control over which ones they share and which ones they don't share. If they're real or if they're not real, they might not even be real people. And so I always say this to my website clients, because I'm like, we can put testimonials on and social proof is a thing that helps sell. And it is not a bad system, because if you have great

Jamie (06:18)
again.

Yes.

Totally.

Dayle (06:40)
people that have done great things in their world and have lots of good things to say about you. Absolutely. But I always make my clients also set up a Google business profile so that people can leave a real testimonial because Google is a place that if somebody says this person's in a terrible, you know, experience and they didn't give what they wanted and they didn't provide and blah, blah. We as business owners cannot remove that testimony.

it's not allowed to get, we're not allowed to take it down. We can respond, but we can not take it down. So Google is a real place that people can go for real information about businesses. I, whenever I'm doing someone's website, I'm like, you need to get Google reviews. That's a very important thing. And it is what it is. You might get some bad ones. You might get some good ones, you know, like make sure you get good ones though, cause if you're going to do it.

Jamie (07:33)
also think that they're part of the reason there's a trust recession is because the referral, like if you say, I'd like to talk to a past client or something to the person, I'm considering you purchasing your package. I want to talk to a past client. How do you know that that's actually a past client and not just a position?

Dayle (07:40)
Mm-hmm.

paid, their VA.

Exactly. It's their VA answering all the calls, potentially. ⁓ 100%. I know. Well, I'm craftier than that. If I'm interested in especially a big ticket thing, I will watch and watch and watch and I will genuinely like keep an eye on the different names and people that are commenting and if they do like a webinar or anything like that and they like use a case study, I'll like look for who the case study was for or whatever.

Jamie (07:55)
A thousand percent, yes.

Dayle (08:19)
And like, I know I'm already behind the eight ball because they're using them as a case study. It's, it, there's a good chance that they had a good experience because they're showing their results. but even in those situations, they're not always, when you call the person directly, they're not always a hundred percent good reviews, which is an interesting thing. Cause you think if they gave the rights to use their name or their business as like an example, that they would give you a better,

Jamie (08:19)
you

Mm-hmm.

Dayle (08:47)
review than that kind of thing. You know?

Jamie (08:49)
The

other thing I really suggest is to Google the person's name. Google the person's name or their business name and just start looking on a bunch of other platforms. If they have a bunch of Reddit reviews, of people being like, what a scam artist, what are this, what are that? You can't ignore that. if more than one person is humming the same tune, it's because it was playing.

Dayle (08:57)
Hmm.

10 Reddit pages dedicated to them.

Yeah.

Jamie (09:19)
You know, like, it's you do have to you do have to listen to that. And I mean, I do this with hotels and stuff all the time where like, will read all the best reviews, I will read all the worst reviews, and then I have to make like a decision. Does that matter to me that the you know, the hot tub was not as hot as the person would have liked? Or does it not matter? You know, like, not everything is going to matter to every person. But

Dayle (09:24)
for sure.

Yeah, exactly. Is this the deal breaker or?

Totally.

Jamie (09:45)
If one thing that is one of the reasons that attracted you in the first place to this person or to this business, and all the reviews are negative about that, you have to accept that for the feedback that it is and not just turn a blind eye and then be upset that you've chosen this and that you got scammed.

Dayle (09:56)
Well...

Yes, totally. And the

repeat comments of the same thing probably mean the same that it's true, right? Like it's one thing to be like, we waited a long time. Well, that could be a one at a restaurant, for instance. Well, that's because you went at dinner time and that's bound to happen on a Saturday night. But if nobody else said they waited a long time, doesn't matter. You know, it was a one-off, but if it's, or as an angry person.

Jamie (10:17)
Thank you.

Mm-hmm.

Dayle (10:26)
But if they're mostly like great service, great this, great that, then you can listen to the greats. Something else that's like another area. there's the like social proof and the, you know, are they who they say they are? But I also, I want more history than that. If I'm hiring like a coach or somebody that I'm gonna big ticket with, I'm gonna buy a big package from, I'm gonna spend money on, I want them to become my guru. I need to know that they've

Jamie (10:52)
Mm-hmm.

Dayle (10:54)
built, ran, and sold something other than the coaching that they're currently selling me. And I'm not saying that running a coaching business isn't a business, but it is a business that you needed some experience with something else or other business in the world before I, because I'm running businesses that aren't coaching businesses. So I don't want to learn how to become a coach.

Jamie (11:11)
Mm-hmm.

Dayle (11:19)
I want to learn how to build my real life businesses. And if you are not a real life business owner, I can't, with success under your belt, I can't trust you. I can't trust what you're saying. I want to know that you've had successful businesses.

Jamie (11:22)
Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Absolutely. I also think that like if the person's Instagram changes twice a year to their new business, they're not probably an expert in anything because they haven't stuck with it long enough to become the expert. if they were, you know, one thing this day and then the next day they're this thing and then the next day they're this thing. Chances are that they're probably not going to be the person that you're looking for. And I know that, you know, a lot of things sometimes can

Dayle (11:41)
Yes.

Yes.

for sure.

Jamie (12:04)
can kind of, one can lead to the other. Like if you're running a accounting firm and then all of sudden you're gonna offer bookkeeping services, I think completely different, because they're all within the same family. But if it's like, okay, you know.

Dayle (12:16)
One minute you're like a tarot card reader and then the next minute you're trying to be the bookkeeper. I'm totally confused by you. I don't, I can't tie all of this together. I don't know what you're doing.

Jamie (12:21)
Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely. And

then also, one thing that I will say on like, if you're looking for like, any kind of personal healing or anything, if the person trying to sell you the services is not a healed human being themselves, or they're still in the thick of it, they are not ready to coach anybody out of it.

Dayle (12:44)
Totally. I agree with that so much. And I do think in those personal coaching decisions, like when you're like, I'm looking for somebody who I don't even know what a good example, like a divorce coach. Yeah, exactly. Yeah.

Jamie (12:56)
Like a relationship coach, let's say. Just out of, cause I'm not shopping a relationship coach and I never have,

but like if that person has been divorced four times, guess what? They're not your relationship coach. If that person is actively going through a divorce, they are not your relationship coach.

Dayle (13:06)
Mm-hmm. Exactly. Yes. And their last marriage just ended? Yes.

Well, and that's what I go back to. in the relationship coach versus the business coach example, if you've been married four times and my goal is to be married once and stay married and have a healthy marriage, don't, I'm, it's like having a business, five businesses, four businesses that failed. You actually haven't proven to me that you know how to take a business from, you know, here to here. You, they didn't get there.

Jamie (13:39)
Mm-hmm. Or not even businesses

that have failed, but businesses that you've abandoned. I don't want to do that anymore. You know, like...

Dayle (13:45)
Yes, both, exactly.

For sure, I want success in your experience, not, I don't want you to just be like, I'm a coach because I want to coach others. Because I deem myself the coach of this. I need you to have real life accomplishments within that space and I want you to be an absolute expert at this particular thing. With real life experiences that...

Jamie (13:56)
Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Dayle (14:12)
I can see, I can see your marriage and your nice husband and your nice wife together and the whole thing. So.

Jamie (14:16)
Absolutely. Yeah. So

we think what are your like, you know, a couple of tips for because we are in a trust recession. How do you overcome that? Like what are some tips and tricks just like one hitters on how to overcome this like trust recession?

Dayle (14:33)
Oh, for me, it's do your homework, do your homework, do your homework. And like to go through a few of our examples, I don't care whether you are getting an email in your email box saying, hey, you know, package is stuck at customs. Click here to pay the 24.95. Find out who sent the email. Look at the actual email address and be like, oh, weird. 497 at Hotmail.

doesn't seem like FedEx. Why is she wanting 2497? You know? So like that's how you do your homework and your due diligence there. And then if I'm looking at a relationship coach, I'm going to look into their past, you know, relationships. they like, whether it's in what ways are they an expert? Are they speaking on stages? Are they, have they written a book about it? Why are they an expert at this? Are they a psychologist? Are they a relationship therapist? Like

Jamie (15:28)
Mm-hmm.

Dayle (15:28)
what makes them the person that deserves my trust in them, my money, my time, my belief, you know? so doing your homework and doing your due diligence to me is the like one and only rule. That's, and you have to look at it from all the angles.

Jamie (15:45)
And stop trying to convince yourself that the red flag doesn't exist.

Dayle (15:49)
exist. Because if it does, it does. If it's there, it's there. And then on top of it, like my point about the vibes thing. If I don't, if I want to hire a personal trainer or coach of some sort, and I need to get yelled at to be motivated, I'm going to look at somebody who yells at me. But if I actually get not motivated by getting yelled at, I can't go for a yeller. I can't go for the person screaming in my face that I'm lazy.

Jamie (16:06)
Mm-hmm.

Dayle (16:15)
person and not trying hard enough in the gym because that's maybe not my style. The vibes have to match. So it's like a personal connection like where you're like, I like this person. I trust this person. I feel like they're good. They're my kind of person. I'd be friends with them maybe even mixed with the homework piece doing the

Jamie (16:15)
Yeah.

For me, my two pieces of advice are trust your gut and don't get talked into it. So if you have to talk yourself into it, the answer should always be no. If you have to be like, that's weird. I've never received a text message at 2 a.m. from Pura later before. I wonder what this is. That's talking yourself. You're trying to make sense of something. You know it's weird. The red flags are already waved and you're gonna try to be like,

Dayle (16:40)
Yes.

for sure.

Mm-hmm.

You know it's weird. Yeah.

Jamie (17:02)
Well, yeah, I did order that one package a while ago. So maybe it probably, yeah, that's definitely, it's gotta be that. That's talking yourself into it. If you have a little nudge in your belly that's like, man, I feel like I don't, this isn't right for me in this moment. And then they hit you with that heavy, you know, like selling the DMs and they're gonna contact you. Hey, Jamie, you still there? Are you still there? Did you get my last email? What do you think of that? Don't you think that offer's perfect for you?

Dayle (17:09)
for sure.

sale, line, Yeah.

Jamie (17:31)
envision it now. I can see you there. I can see you sitting at the table. Like whatever that looks like that is convincing yourself that it's a yes when actually your body already told you it's a no. So

Dayle (17:38)
Totally.

For sure, because you would have been like, yeah, I'm doing this. Like every time it's a yes for me, I'm such a fast yes that I'm in. Like I'm like, yeah, I'm doing this. And then I go for it, you know? And if I need the like seven steps of massaging and the talking into, I always have a bit of a belly ache about it. Now that said, it doesn't always turn out bad. Like sometimes I've been like,

Jamie (17:47)
Mm-hmm.

Absolutely.

Mm-hmm.

Dayle (18:07)
this feels like too much money or it doesn't, don't know if this is going to be because it pushes my threshold of like investment potentially, but I definitely, and I can get the most out of it.

Jamie (18:18)
But if you were

like, here's one way to look at it. If you loved something, somebody's offer and you were like, the only thing that's holding you back is maybe the price. Cause you're like, Oh God, that feels really bad. Especially in us dollars. This has happened to me where I'm like, I want to do it so bad, but just like, that's the only thing holding me back. That's a totally different story than being like, I don't, I don't know. Like, I don't know if the timing's right and this is right. And then you get talked into it. And it's not just one little thing that you feel is a bit stretchy.

Dayle (18:39)
I don't care about this. Yeah, exactly.

for sure.

Jamie (18:47)
It's like you weren't a hell yes about the whole offer in general. That's different in my opinion.

Dayle (18:50)
Yeah. Well,

and I, like to, to further your example, it's one of those things that like, if you were, when I like hear about somebody's thing and I'm like, Oh, that would be the bomb. That would be so fun. I want to do, you know, this event in Nashville. That looks like the best time ever. Me and Jay could go, we could make it into a girls trip on top of this event. And I like literally plan it in my head and then

And then the only thing I hear that turns me off is that it's like a little bit outside of the like price I like to spend on those kinds of things. That's what you're describing is like, those are the times that that's when you have the financial conversation. Does it make sense for you? Does it, you know, is it just stretchy for financially and it's something that you need to get to your next threshold to like invest in yourself, invest in your business, or is it like, it was a no and the person was a no.

but they wrote you enough emails that you got bullied into it by the end, you know, or they wrote, they got you on the phone and gave you the hard sell and you felt like, I don't know how to say no. So I'm going to be there. I guess it's okay. You know, and the opposite has been true for me where something has been really affordable and I've been like, I don't care about it, but honestly it was only a few hundred dollars. So like, why wouldn't I go, you know, and when I get there, I take that same kind of shit energy.

Jamie (19:50)
Mm-hmm. Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, exactly.

Dayle (20:16)
into it where I'm like, this isn't that great, but it's right in my city and it's cheap. So why wouldn't I see what it's all about? You know? So listen to yourself. I agree with that.

Jamie (20:16)
Yeah, totally.

Mm-hmm. ⁓

Yes, I mean at the end of the day, the only person that it needs to be a yes with is yourself. So yeah.

Dayle (20:36)
For sure, for sure.

All right, well, we'd love to hear the times that you like either got talked in to something or you felt like you wanted to do something or it was an immediate no. Like we love hearing from you guys about what your experience with trust and did it go your way? Did it end up being better than you thought, worse than you thought? Tell us everything. Bye guys.

Jamie (21:00)
Okay, till next time, bye guys.