Dating Differently Podcast
Dating Differently Podcast
Episode-03 | Decoding SMV: Valuing People Differently
We also turn the spotlight on an often-ignored topic – the challenges women in their 50s face while navigating the sea of love. With a compelling exploration of how intelligence, resources, and even hypergamy can impact a woman’s sexual market value, this episode promises to be an eye-opener. But we don’t stop there! We delve into how men can enhance or reduce a woman’s value by their presentation.
Finally, we open a can of worms on the impact of pornography on male impotence. We dissect how it desensitizes men, and, in turn, affects their perception of women's bodies. This episode is brimming with thoughtful advice for both genders on how to safeguard against the potential pitfalls of ignoring reality. Get ready for a candid, revealing discussion on sexual market value and gender dynamics in relationships. You won't listen to your love songs the same way again!
Men want women that want what they have, and women want men that have what they want.
Speaker 2:So my takeaway from that is everyone wants to be enough.
Speaker 1:So men want to be enough and women want to get enough. Yeah.
Speaker 3:And then I see where you're coming from and I don't necessarily think it implies that the guy's not willing to grow Like it can obviously it can. But I can think about myself. I know that when I was looking for a wife, I was looking for someone who loved me and I could see it. It was clear to me that what I have is who I am and what I have is enough to be happy for us to build a relationship and be happy for the rest of our lives. And I know that. I stayed away from people who, like I've, got a family member. Her love language is gifts and I've always known that. And her person made millions of dollars and got her lots of fancy gifts all the time. Right, and nothing's wrong with that.
Speaker 2:Her tank was full.
Speaker 3:There's nothing wrong with that. But I know I want to be comfortable enough to say I have a woman that I know, no matter what goes down, she's gonna hang out with. If we have to sleep in the car, she's gonna hang out with me still. And that's just something that I wanted and I look for in the heart of my woman before I said, okay, it's comfortable to marry this person. Now, I had a lot when I got married, but I know life happens and if you end up with the woman, that requires ever this is then the focus is not on me.
Speaker 3:If she required it, hey, you gotta make sure you gotta have a nice house and you gotta have a nice car and you can buy me nice gifts. It's about figuring out what her core values were. That's the bottom line, because it's not like my wife doesn't like nice things, but her core values have nothing to do with having nice things.
Speaker 2:So in the last episode we talked a little bit about sexual market value, and this week I've got a lot of questions about sexual market value.
Speaker 3:So this episode is gonna be about sexual market value, Tis yeah, we'll probably say sexual market value like 87 times.
Speaker 1:I wanted to go a little deeper in that, because the other statement I'm hearing is you shouldn't marry someone's potential, because that tends to build frustration on both sides. I'm frustrated that you're not growing fast enough and he's frustrated that you're pushing too hard Again this kind of goes down that path.
Speaker 3:that my love-hate relationship with relationship advice, because I can understand the spirit of that statement you shouldn't marry a guy's potential but who are we talking to? Are we talking to a 20-something-year-old? Are we talking to?
Speaker 2:a. The age definitely matters in that, or are we talking to a 40-something-year-old?
Speaker 3:You see what I'm saying. So you can't, but I get the spirit of the question right. I get the spirit of the question and potential about what, like that, matters, also the context of the potential.
Speaker 2:It's like potential to use grammar correctly versus potential to grow in his job.
Speaker 1:So, whatever the potential is. So, for example, I'm the woman Whatever's in my mind that I'm looking for. I see that he may almost be there and just needs a little bit of a push. So I could be looking for somebody that speaks well, somebody that has a lot of money, somebody that works hard, travels a lot, whatever it is. But they may not be there yet. So you tell yourself they're not there yet, but I think they're gonna get there. So let me jump on board. But what happens when they don't get there?
Speaker 2:Yeah, I'm less inclined to wanna do that what you just described, and it could be that I am not 20-something anymore, but I'm not inclined to. I would describe that as a project.
Speaker 1:There are a lot of women today that say they don't want a project, which is why you see so many women clamoring for what we call a high-value man, or another way they say it is that they're waiting for the man at the finish line. So go, live your life and build and grow your wealth and then, when you're done, we'll get together, as opposed to we get together when we're younger and we grow and build together.
Speaker 2:Yeah, even that, I feel, is I don't know I guess I'm trying to work through. I think I would maybe fall in the Goldilocks porridge of that of the perfect middle. Like I don't want a guy that has no career right now, is trying to build a career, but that you can have a stable career in a profession and still move up in that profession. Like I don't wanna get you at your tippy-top peak, because then there are no memories, there are no like hey, this was. Do you remember that time we had to get that really difficult situation? You're not gonna have those together. Like you can still grow together but you don't have to. I guess maybe that would be like established together, become established together, versus we're growing from. Hey, I'm an accounting major at Carolina, oh, you're an accounting major at Carolina too. Cool, let's date and get married when you like. Start off at the shotgun of the race to continue that visual. Then the question that I would wanna ask is what do you wanna do next? Like you're not done, where are you gonna go next?
Speaker 2:So I guess drive is important in creating that establishment, because I see myself that way. I said I'm like, as I'm describing all of these things, I'm finding myself describing a male version of myself, but different enough to be different not to be a male, annabelle. But where is he gonna go next? What does he wanna do? He's had, he's gone pretty far in the race. He's beaten a lot of the other people. We're gonna kill this like race scenario to death, aren't we? He's got out in front of the pack, so what's he gonna do with that? If he's built a business, is he gonna sell the business? Is he gonna build another business? Because once you've done that, once you can do it again.
Speaker 1:Agreed, and I think most men are always pursuing something, so initially they may be pursuing wealth, then they're pursuing family, then they're pursuing their charities or whatever their passions may be. So I do think most men are gonna have something that they're going after. That's fair. That's fair. So does that change whether you want someone at the finish line or not?
Speaker 2:I think I don't want the full finish line, not the full finish line.
Speaker 1:Okay, you wanna boost him a little bit.
Speaker 2:But I don't want the shotgun Because I'm not at the age of a shotgun.
Speaker 1:Okay, a 40 year old shotgun.
Speaker 2:No, that is concerning on so many levels. Bannon, what are your thoughts? We're just like going on.
Speaker 3:I know this is turning to a woman conversation.
Speaker 2:Feel free to chime in.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I needed to let you guys get it out.
Speaker 2:I mean, today we are drinking tea out of tea cups.
Speaker 3:Yeah, so a woman doesn't want potential? My first reaction to that statement is I just don't wanna have that conversation in a with a public audience, because as soon as I answer that question one way, I can think of a whole slew of other scenarios where the answer would be different. So I'm just saying this for the sake of our audience, that me personally, I do a lot of one-on-one coaching and the reason I have love hate relationship with dating advice is because there's a lot of good advice out there. There's a lot of bad advice out there. People don't know the difference. And then the other problem is a lot of good advice is not good for everybody, you know and you have to navigate these things.
Speaker 3:When you ask the question about potential and then I listened to this conversation you guys just had. You guys were specifically talking about potential and gathering resources and success and that sort of thing. And the reason why the conversation gets dangerous to me is because if we have that conversation and, let's say, we conclude that women don't want a project, and we can easily find a post online that says I don't want a project, don't marry a guy for his potential, let's just leave it at the-.
Speaker 2:That does sound very Instagrammable, yeah.
Speaker 3:Think about that. So when I see something like that, I say to myself I understand the spirit of that message but, it's a damaging message to women, and here's the reason why.
Speaker 3:Because now what? And specifically to younger women, because you know what that message, I guess, encourages in younger women is not to let the guy have any downside, like he has to be all upside. That's the way it comes across to the younger women, and even to older women, I think, about emotional intelligence. Women are gonna have to, in most cases, carry the load with regard to emotional intelligence.
Speaker 2:Sure, yeah, they're gonna have to right. We have girls nights built around that very conduct.
Speaker 3:Listen, but think about the message that we just said. I don't want a guy, I don't want a project. So I'm trying to get you guys to understand that. What I'm saying is that I understand the spirit of those types of messages, but I also think that they drive a negative rhetoric in a lot of cases, right.
Speaker 3:So it's okay if we're gonna talk through it, but it's okay if we put that message out there, but also put that message out there to say to people hey, learn how to discern what that actually means, like, what's a project to you is not a project to her. And this is the trouble with.
Speaker 2:So maybe if you say like single projects might not be that bad, but like a full home renovation is not gonna work out well.
Speaker 3:But and here's what came to mind for me, because I've actually heard women say things like if he doesn't know how to communicate, if he doesn't know how to love me, if he doesn't know how.
Speaker 2:He doesn't know you. He can't know how to love you if he doesn't know you. There's some of it is like just natural learning one another. There's basic communication which I think is I'm gonna ask you out on a date a couple of days in advance, not what are you doing for drinks. And it's five. You're like what are you doing for drinks later? I'm at home, I've decided my day is done. I've opened up my bottle of wine. It doesn't include you because you didn't ask early enough. Like literally, that just happened to me.
Speaker 3:Yeah, and the only point I'm trying to make behind all of that is that I understand the spirit of the message and I've gotten to a place right now where I look at every post or message like that that's side-handedly trying to give advice to people and I ask myself is it helpful? Is it useful?
Speaker 1:I experienced that statement not so much from coaches, but from just women saying I don't wanna.
Speaker 3:But where did they get that thought from?
Speaker 1:They grandma, fair enough.
Speaker 3:But you see what I'm saying.
Speaker 1:I don't think my grandmother has there's generations before that will express how challenging their relationship with their man was. So they're advising their daughters. Here's how you do it so that you don't go through what I went through, and it probably is mostly in the African-American community. But a lot of women, especially in the what generation is this? 35-ish to 45-ish, oh wow, millennials. So a lot of millennial women, I think, have that perspective where they want someone.
Speaker 2:We have coined. Girl boss, that was us. You're welcome everyone out there. So when I hear you don't want a project, I run through, knowing that I just said it a moment ago. But I knew what I meant by project. I knew what I meant by I don't want a whole home renovation, having you learn me, just like I learn you. That's called building a relationship. You have to do it with when you make a new adult friend, which is a whole different level of hard than it was in college or even when you were in like third grade, when you're like, hey, you like that, I like that too, let's be best friends. It doesn't work like that now. It's weird if you do that to an adult.
Speaker 2:But I think some of the whole you don't want a man, that's a project, because that comes in, because women don't really listen to what guys say and they think they heard something different. It's the joke of where a guy will list and, like movies, do this all the time. He'll list all these things and say, but that looks really pretty on you, or your eyes look really good today. Oh my God, they do. And so they only heard that. They didn't hear the houses crumbling around us. My car is broken down. I actually just got fired today, but your eyes look so pretty and you hear your eyes look so pretty and that's it.
Speaker 2:And so I think that's where the you don't want a man, that's a project is listen to what they say and how they say it, Cause guys are gonna tell you.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so Is it their?
Speaker 2:project.
Speaker 1:I don't think so definitely they know.
Speaker 3:So here's the takeaway I want people to have from this conversation. I don't believe women should accept projects, project men in the right context. But the problem is do women understand what the distinction is between learning a person and learning a person and learning how to have a relationship?
Speaker 3:with them versus a project and my whole problem around the conversation in a general public, typical sense, when you write it down like that is that the people on the other side reading it will apply it whatever it is happening in their life right now with their person or with the people that they're in contact with and that message can confirm, give them a confirmation that's already biased in a direction. Yeah, confirmation bias, you get what I'm trying to say For sure, yeah. I don't think there's anything wrong with saying with a woman saying I don't want a project guy, but I have a problem with the information out there.
Speaker 1:I think where I am is you're saying it's dangerous to put the message out there and I'm saying the message is already out there and has been received. How do we help women have a different perspective in terms of what they should proceed with? We talk about it One, not one. Two things that I see, not see Two things I hear that women say. That tells me that they already have that mindset of not wanting a potential is wanting a high value man, which means an established man, he has a lot of money, he has a strong network. And also the statement where women say if he wanted to, he would, which means he should be emotionally intelligent enough to know what my needs are and know how to take care of me. So those two things tell me I don't want to do any work with a man. So the women already have the mindset.
Speaker 3:So I understand where you say coaches should not be disseminating that message but so I just want to correct you a little bit because I'm not saying coaches shouldn't be disdaining that message.
Speaker 1:That's not the message I'm trying to get across.
Speaker 3:I'm just saying we've had this conversation a few times, right. I'm just saying that's my issue, my issue with the general coaching, mainly from post and sometimes from coaches. When you're talking to a general audience of a full breath of demographic, that is problematic, right, but in your practice and in my practice we sit down and we talk to people individually and we hone in on that particular question. I got no problem with a woman saying to me that she doesn't want a project guy, but I might ask her what does that mean?
Speaker 3:And if she talks about this, I know how to correct it, but if she talks about that, I can say okay, I can go down that path with you.
Speaker 2:That's the only thing I'm trying to say that makes sense. I think that's why one of the reasons why the About Good Company podcast isn't five minutes long because there's a lot to the topics that we discuss. There's a lot to nuance or perspectives on different questions. That's why we have this and it's not here. You're three things you need to know today about dating.
Speaker 3:And that's why and I'm glad you said that, because I've always wanted a platform where I can voice my concern about the fact that people won't take the information and discern about it.
Speaker 3:They just eat it, they just take it right and then they apply it. If it's again, if it confirms the bias that they already have, they just take it. And I'm at the place now where, just like, we've been talking about therapy over these years and now everybody's going to therapy because it's becoming acceptable norm In this day and age, I think everybody needs a dating coach. Most people, I should say most people need a dating coach and they should at least start exploring dating coaches and learning some information and getting some skills and so forth. And we gotta get to the topic at hand sometime today.
Speaker 2:I know I'm dying to really understand the sexual market value thing.
Speaker 3:Listen. Sexual market value. This is a treacherous conversation. Well, stay with me, I think it's a treacherous conversation to have, and people have had some real visceral responses to just the idea of it specifically women, and I understand why. So, before we get started with this conversation, I just need everybody to know that the people at this table are not having these conversations to weaponize the message right. We're having these conversations to open up dialogue and give people perspectives so that they can have better results in their dating life, because that's what we want.
Speaker 3:We want better outcomes for people. I'm not gonna tell you what's right, I'm not gonna tell you what's wrong. I wanna help you have a better perspective so you can choose what's right or what's wrong. So, at a very high level, I'm gonna suggest that the sexual market value and there's sexual marketplace. Let's talk about the sexual marketplace and we're gonna talk about sexual market value and just to try to give a definition that's high level and people can stay with us in the conversation. There is a distinction between a person's value, ie personal worth, and sexual market value. Sexual market value is the idea of. You know, women are the product to men, men are the product to women. So how valuable are you as a product to a man in the context of relationships, sex dating and that sort of thing and vice versa? Miss woman, mr man, how valuable are you?
Speaker 3:to a woman in the context of relationships, sex dating and that sort of thing. So we make that distinction right. And the reason we have to make that distinction upfront is because the general problem that we start off with in society today is that women have a tendency to conflate their sexual market value with a man's sexual market value. What I mean by that is that we look at a person because we think personal worth. So the first thing we think about is how much money does a person have? Where do they come from? Do they have a house? What kind of education? How much money?
Speaker 2:That was the base of our conversation about projects.
Speaker 3:These are some things that are in a guy's sexual market value column His ability to gain resources, right. And that could be education, job, money, all of those things that's in his sexual market value column, right. And there's some other things in his sexual his height is in his sexual market value column, his personality. There's a list of things, but let's just stick with the first one, right, the monetary value. Let's just call it monetary value for now. Education and that sort of thing. That's in his sexual market value column, but that's not in a woman's sexual market value column, right.
Speaker 3:And this is where the problem starts, because I talk to 40 plus old women all the time and they lead with I have my own house, I have my own car, I got my own job and I have my blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And they lead with that to a guy. And in this conversation that we have, we say that a guy doesn't care about that. Now stick with me for a minute, because women wanna push back on that statement. What do you mean?
Speaker 3:A guy doesn't care about how much money I got. You would think he'd be happy that I'm independent and he doesn't have to take care of me. You think he'd be happy of blah, blah, blah, blah. Or the women say he's intimidated because I have these things and none of that's true. None of that's true, but they're caveats, all sorts of caveats, but I'm just trying to lay the groundwork for the conversation right now. And laying that groundwork, I have to say that those things that are in the man's sexual market value around education, money, resources and all those things are not in a woman's sexual market column right.
Speaker 1:So you're saying sexual market value is what the other side finds attractive. Yes, so whatever is in a man's sexual value column is what a woman finds attractive. Exactly what's in a woman's sexual value column is what a man finds attractive.
Speaker 3:What a man finds valuable in the context of sex relationships, dating and so forth. That's the way I wanna put it out there.
Speaker 2:Okay. So I pulled up an article because I wanted to know how the internet defined these things. And so male sexual market value, how it breaks out by percentage age is 7%. In calculating this value score, age is 7%, status is 13%, personality is 9%. Game is 30%. Looks F%, resources 6%.
Speaker 3:Okay.
Speaker 2:I was surprised by the resources thing, because I do think that ranks higher. But again, this is just one source of how they calculate.
Speaker 3:Where did that?
Speaker 2:come from. This came from the power moves.
Speaker 3:The power moves. Okay, Is that a website or a personal it?
Speaker 2:is a website that also has courses, forums, blogs. They are establishing themselves as an expert in this space.
Speaker 3:So my take on that is that is someone's interpretation of it and they're trying to build on it a little bit, which is fine. But again, for the sake, okay, go ahead. Yeah.
Speaker 2:Okay, so that is the short term and, interestingly enough, it's different for long term.
Speaker 3:Okay.
Speaker 2:Okay, so long term, yes, Long term. Male sexual market value age is 10%. Status is 23%. Personality is 18%. Apparently, that matters a little bit more if you're gonna spend the rest of your life with the person Looks. 15% matters less resources 27% shoots on up to where we think it should be and game 7%. Gotta drop in that game score, well, that makes sense.
Speaker 3:if you're talking short term, long term, then that makes total sense.
Speaker 2:Okay, so let's do the women, okay. Okay. Women short term, or female sexual marketplace short term is ages 8%. Status is 1%, personality 2% game 9% resources 0%, looks 80%, looks 80.
Speaker 3:Yeah, Okay on the short term.
Speaker 2:Looking at the long term for women age 26%. Status 6%. Personality 16%. Again, we wanna like the person looks 29%. Resources 3%. Faithfulness enters in a whole new category with this at 20%.
Speaker 3:So here's the first thing I wanna point out in that, like we've gotten to the point now because this sexual market value conversation is being had at a lot of tables, but it's also half of the planet has never heard of it before and hadn't considered it Definitely, and that's telling. Women's resources was 0% short term, and I think you said 3%. Long term, 3% or 6%, but it's still way down there and that's the reason why we say a man doesn't care about that stuff. Now, one of the things I'll say to the demographic of people that I talk to mostly are working class people. So if you were to ask a working class man who's making $50,000, does he care how much a woman, much money a woman makes, he's probably going to say yes. But if you turn around and put $3 million in that guy's bank account and you're asking that same question, he's going to care less. He's not going to care.
Speaker 2:Would it be fair to say instead of care, because care makes it sound like it's like I can take it or leave it. Would it be preferred? Could you use that?
Speaker 3:Keep in mind we're talking about what's in the sexual market value column and the only thing I say when I say I don't care, meaning it doesn't contribute to your sexual market value.
Speaker 2:It could be a nice ad, but it's not ranking and is important to me.
Speaker 3:And here is where other pushback comes back along that conversation, because people will give this example. We talked about it on the drive over here today. I think Chris Rock made a joke that said Beyonce can work at Burger King and million dollar guy could come in and be like oh my God, you're super fine, I want to take you to be mine.
Speaker 2:Be my girl. That could happen.
Speaker 3:I liked the rhyme though I thought that was really good, I made it. I didn't know it.
Speaker 2:We discovered that today.
Speaker 3:JC working at Burger King, no woman's going to come in and take on a JC, right? You get what I'm saying. So the only idea I'm trying to bring up here is that people use that type of example sometimes and then women will push back and say there's no millionaire guy that's going to take a woman from Burger King. Now, first of all, the entire plot lines on that, I know so it's. This is what I'm trying to get to.
Speaker 3:When it comes to education and a woman's resources and her experience, it matters to high value guys in a sense, because what a high value guy does like is an intelligent woman, right? So that education and those resources and that experience can gosh I'm having a loss for words can indicate, can be an indication of her level of intelligence, right? And that's why this conversation gets so muddy sometimes, because all over the place out there in the world, we're saying women, guys don't care about your education and your money, and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And it has to be put in context in order to say that. I would word it this way how much money you're making, your car and your, whatever your accomplishments, does not go into your sexual market value column. What goes into your sexual market value column, is your intelligence Right.
Speaker 2:So, like your wit, you're the not the stuff on paper that you can show, but the stuff you experience in real life.
Speaker 3:At the end of the day. At the end of the day, there's a list of things that are in a woman's sexual market value column, and the only thing I'm trying to get over in this first part of the conversation is I'm trying to help women understand why they shouldn't conflate the list the man's list with their list. They shouldn't do that. I think we've effectively laid the groundwork for what sexual market value is and let me just line it up. Let me just line up a couple of things. I'm coming to this conversation with love and empathy and I'm not trying to weaponize any of these.
Speaker 3:Sure, I just want to share perspective, right? So in this space you'll hear. The part of the problem with, I don't know, the way God created us all and set this whole planet up, is that a woman's sexual market value is at her peak in her early 20s. Is that her peak already? So throughout the course of life, a woman's sexual market value declines over time. A guy's sexual market value increases over time. Totally Right. That message gets weaponized to women and that's the reason why they push back on this conversation so much. We can get into the details. I was hoping you were going to ask me what do you mean by that? I was hoping you were going to no.
Speaker 2:It makes sense based on how we've laid out the fact that resources for a man are really important. Moving forward I mean the difference between the long-term and short-term percentages, like personality, starts to get a little bit better and matter more. Resources matter more, looks matter less, and that's.
Speaker 3:Wait a minute. Are you talking about for women?
Speaker 2:or for men In this percentage that I read oh okay, Got it. Like from the power moves or the expert we're using for today. So that makes a ton of sense that over time his sexual market value would increase. Guys also age really well. They look better when they get older.
Speaker 3:Yeah. So a woman's sexual market value is at its peak in her early 20s and the reason that is because some of the biggest players in a woman's sexual market value is her youth and her fertility Totally, and her beauty, Yep, and those are at a max when 20. Right and over time those things decrease. And think about a 20-year-old guy his sexual market value is probably the lowest in his 20s, Right. Only thing he's got going for him is looks and maybe he's in shape. That's all he's got going for him. But the things that are important to women his ability to protect and provide resources and does he have status, all of those things that are in his sexual market value, color that they're lowest in his 20s.
Speaker 3:Right, and then over time it rises.
Speaker 2:Okay, so where do they cross? I don't hang on, I'm going to get there. I'm going to get there, I'm going to get there.
Speaker 3:Come on, man, but here, for the sake of getting started, 20s, we've covered that. Now let's go to age 50. Let's do so. Let's take the 50-year-old woman. She's got a fabulous job, she's got a fabulous house, she's making tons of money, and let's even say she looks good. Yeah, like she's beautiful. Yeah, Put a pin in that for a minute. We know what the woman looks like and we know what her situation is Like. And let's take a 50-year-old guy and he's, let's just say, working class engineering guy making 90 something thousand dollars and took good care of himself, and he's in shape and doesn't have a whole bunch of kids. Let's say both of these people don't have kids, right, and they're at 50 years old and across the board, everything's equal Good job, good money, good house, good whatever. There are two things that go against a woman. One thing is hypergamy. You know what hypergamy is Define please.
Speaker 3:Define. You might have to look it up so I can put the but the idea of hypergamy is a woman's natural inclination to either date marry across or up right. She won't marry or date down in status.
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 3:Now given those puzzle pieces. She's 50 years old and I've got to add this other statement the more successful a woman gets, the fewer options she has with regard to dating, because she's limiting her pool.
Speaker 3:Because of hypergamy. Mainly because of hypergamy, right, because the more successful she gets, the more people, more men, are now below her, if you will, from a status perspective, right. So her pool is just getting smaller and smaller the more she accomplishes. So let's take this home. So we got a 50 year old woman, 50 year old man. Based on what I just told you, hypergamy has already limited her pool because she won't date down.
Speaker 3:And the 50 plus year old women, like, they hate this conversation and they hate people who talk about it and they hate the idea of it and they push back, and I completely understand. But here's one thing that I know I work in the matchmaking industry and I'm just going to say to you that the hardest person to match, the hardest demographic to match in matchmaking, is a 50 year old woman. And then the reason being is because a lot of the times, these women are divorced yeah, right, and if they're in a matchmaking space, generally they're on the upper middle class or upper class, right. So they've had experience with high value men, right? So they're at 50 years old and they left their husband, or their husband left them, but they found themselves on the dating market and nobody wants a 50 year old one, but I'm saying that hyperbole a little bit Sure.
Speaker 2:But not every 50 year old woman is equal to the other 50 year old woman.
Speaker 3:But the reason I even bring it up is because that is a demographic that we, as matchmakers, know is a very hard demographic to match. And the reason it's a hard demographic to match is because 50 year old women want 50 year old guys. Give or take five years right, but if you find a 50 year old guy who's high value, he has no interest in a 50 year old. His interests are in women, generally from age 30 something to 40, let's say 48. And that's really why that's?
Speaker 2:I was going to say 42. Yeah, yeah, I was going to say that's really why.
Speaker 3:And some of those 50 year olds will go even lower than that.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's what I was going to say.
Speaker 3:Yeah, yeah. But you see what I'm saying, you see why. And who loves 50 year old women? 70 year old men love 50 year old women, absolutely love them. 60 somethings and 70s love 50 year old women and 50 year old women don't like those guys.
Speaker 2:Working through. All of that makes sense. It makes sense based on, if you look at just generic numbers, average people. All of that makes sense. The world feels very different now in the sense that there are I guess this is going back a little bit to the sexual market value of women. With regards to education profession, like more and more women are in a professional job, they have careers. Statistics across the board talk about how couples are prolonging having children into their 30s or and women are delaying getting married as a society because more women are in university settings, are getting postgraduate degrees, are going on to higher professions. Are they forcing that hypergamy on themselves by going higher faster or more of them being at that level? I don't know if that makes sense.
Speaker 3:Does that make sense? It makes sense. What I would say to that is most people have never heard that word hypergamy. They don't know what it is. They don't know it's a thing. So let's start there. Most people don't even know what it is. And keep in mind it's more about the biology of a woman and her natural inclination to make sure that she marries up.
Speaker 2:You're actually pretty spot on your definition because it says right here around the chart that I'm looking at. Hypergamy is a fundamental, innate female drive to seek men who are better than they are.
Speaker 3:So when you say, are they women who are getting better educations and better jobs, are they forcing themselves into hypergamy? Yes, they are. They aren't forcing themselves into hypergamy. Hypergamy is a thing already, whether they got a job or not.
Speaker 2:They're limiting their options. Okay, that's a better way to say that.
Speaker 3:And listen. The reason why I want to have this conversation is because I just really want to help women's perspectives. The reason why that's so important is because I know tons of women who've gone to school and gotten PhDs and all of these things and they absolutely don't want to hear. That has no value and that's not what I'm saying. That's what I'm trying to help people.
Speaker 2:If anything, that makes it harder for them to find somebody right.
Speaker 3:Yeah, but my point is I want the takeaway from this conversation to not be that your education doesn't mean anything, because that's not what I'm saying. Nobody wants to hear. They went to school all this time and worked this hard and got all of these things accomplished in this act and it doesn't mean anything, and I understand why people get mad at that when they hear it.
Speaker 3:But again, in this space, men weaponize those messages towards the women and women weaponize their messages towards the men, and I'm trying to diffuse a little bit of that. I want a safe space to explain what sexual market value is, hypergamy and these concepts. I want a safe space to explain that and then we can talk about it. So then, to your point, hypergamy exists whether they went to school or not. But to your point also, this is the reason why I said at the beginning of the conversation that the more successful a woman gets, the smaller her pool gets, because the further she rises, the more men are beneath her and her natural inclination is to be hypergamous and want somebody of higher status. Now we say, a woman will date across and up, but for the most part, is up.
Speaker 2:It says lukewarm is the way that they describe women dating at their own status. They're lukewarm about it.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 2:In a pinch you'll drink that lukewarm coffee, but you're not going to pick that lukewarm coffee, yeah.
Speaker 3:I care about people and I care about people feeling bad, and that's the reason why I was nervous about having this conversation, because I just want people's perspectives to be better. But they got to understand the way the world works right.
Speaker 3:Because one of my really big frustrations with both men and women is that. Let's take age as a perfect example. 50-year-old guy is successful and he wants a woman that's 25 years old to 40. Women's response to that is he's a pedophile. First of all, 20-year-old woman is not a kid, right. But women go straight to the shames and insults pretty quick when they don't fall into the category. They feel like they've been left out of the party, so to speak.
Speaker 3:Age is a very important one to talk about, but that's a biological thing and age, beauty, fertility, is in a woman's sexual market value column. The shaming, insults they don't help the situation and it's not going to change anything. So my frustration with men and women alike is that women will tell men what they like and men will push back against it and be mad at them for liking that thing. Same thing with women Women will tell women what they like and what's important to them and the men will push back and get mad at them. Did I say both of them? Or did I say the same thing twice? But you guys get the point, so I'm trying.
Speaker 3:So let me get and I was thinking about the age thing, but let's just talk about attractiveness in general. I'm taking pictures of the lady today and one of the conversations I have in my prep calls when I'm taking profile photos for people is, obviously, I want them to have effective photos and I go down this path of questioning because a lot of the time they'll tell me what they want to do and if it's contrary to what I think is effective for them, then we got to have a little debate or talk about it a little bit and let's use one like makeup. I will often ask a woman and again, this is for the sake of our audience this is in the context of us taking photos for a matchmaking profile that I think are effective.
Speaker 3:So I'll ask about makeup and a woman will say I don't want to put on any makeup. And my question will be do you ever wear makeup? Because if you never wear makeup then I wouldn't ask you to put on makeup. But if you say to me I only wear makeup on special occasions, so I only wear makeup when I'm going here or when I'm going there, then I'm going to say put on some makeup. This whole thing is a marketing exercise. Yeah, yeah, we're trying to market you, so don't tell me you want to put in as little effort as you can to do this thing. And I used the restaurant menu as a metaphor or analogy a lot of the time, and I did this with her yesterday. I said think about the menu. You go and you look at restaurant menu and you see this big juicy cheeseburger and it looks all wet and juicy and it looks delicious. But when that burger comes out and you look at it on your plate, it often doesn't look anything like it did.
Speaker 3:Bring in the photo, yeah, you take a bite of that hamburger and you're like man, this thing is delicious, absolutely delicious. The restaurant has sold you on this hamburger and you are coming back to get that hamburger, or Greek, you guys with me so far.
Speaker 1:I'm with you, yeah.
Speaker 3:Now, the point I'm making is, if the menu wasn't such that it can entice you to at least get the hamburger in front of you then you would have never had the opportunity to take a bite and understand how good it is. Right, yeah, yeah, I'm not a refugee and I do this a lot with men. Also because, per the conversation we were having before we got on the podcast today, when you said you wished that men would, oh yeah, would actually not take bathroom selfies.
Speaker 2:Yeah, their photos are awful and Like terrible.
Speaker 3:Yeah, and I get that from and I'm gonna get back on point, but I wanna touch that for a minute. I get that from all women and Tinder. We talked about this in the last. Tinder did the study and came back and said 80% of men are unattractive right, and I get. What Tinder did is took information from their dating app. So the better way to say that is 80% of men online are unattractive. Yeah, because I know that 80% of men in this world are not unattractive but, 90% plus percent of men refuse to present themselves point blank.
Speaker 3:They just refuse to present themselves. They'll show themselves, but they won't present themselves Like. They won't put on nice clothes, they won't take the sunglasses off, they won't get the fish out of their hand, they won't get the fish through the back.
Speaker 2:Most of the guys Blurry photos Hats Most of the guys yeah.
Speaker 3:Haircuts, the whole. Thing.
Speaker 2:And Again, there are a lot of movies about this Very content.
Speaker 3:But that's a great point also with regard to the whole sexual market value, or the thing I was saying just before this. Like guys are out there complaining that women won't talk to them and they're complaining that women are too picky and they're complaining that there's some truths to that, but my point is they're contributing to it. They're contributing to that and everybody's telling them that, but they are pushing back, like they refuse to, and that just does not make sense to me. I did a profile shoot with a guy two weeks ago and I asked him. I said hey, I need you to get a haircut and I need you to.
Speaker 2:How does that go over when you ask how many of them do you have to ask to get their haircut? What percentage would you say?
Speaker 3:Most it depends. Here's the example. You know what I had Glasses that automatically transition to dark when you go outside. Oh yeah, and Don't love those.
Speaker 3:Yeah, and he needed a haircut. So I said to him in love and concern and empathy hey, man, I need you to get a haircut and I'd like you to go get some frames. Just go buy some frames. You don't have to have glasses in them, but you wear glasses. So I want you to have on glasses, but they can't be dark, because women have it. In order for you to have effective photos, women has to see your eyes Right, so make sure she can see you. Those are my instructions to the guy Come back to me when you're ready. He came back, he got a little bit trimmed off. He told me he liked his hair a little longer, okay, and he decided he was not going to go get some frames. And I was like, okay, but I'm a little bit annoyed because I want to help. Sure, yeah, and that's a. That was low hanging fruit, like I'm not asking them to go get your arms to be 10 inch biceps or 20 inch biceps.
Speaker 3:I'm not asking for anything or not asking you to buy a whole new suit Like yeah, exactly, but the idea of that whole point is that men push back against the things that women say they want, and then they complain that women don't want to talk to them, and there's a whole list of things that women push back against men. Let's touch on the peace thing for a minute, just for a quick minute. Because we've had this peace conversation for another time.
Speaker 2:And I have a question that we'll get to as soon as you finish this peace thing.
Speaker 3:So this conversation came up because I don't know if it was a show on television and basically there's some rhetoric out there that says be a man's peace. And women's response to that, instead of saying hey, how can I learn how to be a man's peace Instead?
Speaker 2:of having that what I said.
Speaker 3:It's exactly what you said. It was what about my peace? And peace is not in a woman's and the man's sexual market value column for a woman, but peace is in a man's and a woman's sexual market value column to a man. So the answer to your question is that just because we're saying give peace to the guy, we're not saying that you don't deserve peace. We're trying to say is that this is one of the things that will help you be more successful in getting the outcomes that you want, if you understand men to know that they want peace, and if you understand that and you take the perspective of okay, now that I understand that, let me go figure out what that means.
Speaker 3:That's all. All I'm doing is perspective shifting at this point, right?
Speaker 2:So is it the outcome of a man having peace? Will give off the things that give women peace or contribute to them. You can say that but reflect.
Speaker 3:I guess you can say that, but I'm trying to get you to not conflate the two, because what you're doing right now is you're trying to say but. I'm trying to figure out how I can get some peace Right.
Speaker 2:Yes, I'm not going to deny it.
Speaker 3:Yes, that's fine. I like peace. Yeah, that's fine. Only thing I'm trying to say, the only thing. I'm trying to say is that peace is in a woman's sexual market value. Column for a guy. Peace is not in a guy's sexual market value column for a woman. It doesn't mean that it's less important that you have peace.
Speaker 2:It just means that it's not on the scale, it's not adding to your sexual market value?
Speaker 3:That's all I'm trying to say.
Speaker 2:So here's my question Can you change your sexual market value? So here's because some of these things because we've talked about age a lot you can't change your age, but we also talk about how attractiveness, like some of that can change, like you can, if you're just there are some things you can do and some things you can do unless you have a boo-coos of money. But you can buy skincare products and makeup. The whole point of makeup is it makes you look youthful and fresh and clean. I guess All of those things. And so that is something that women do. It's a lot of women changing their sexual market value. I think a lot of it, because you just said that the peak is like early 20s and then it goes down. So I don't know, can you change your value?
Speaker 3:The answer is kinda yes.
Speaker 2:Okay.
Speaker 3:But again, let's talk about men first.
Speaker 2:Sure, they seem to be a little easier to discuss.
Speaker 3:Men have more opportunity to change to better their sexual market value because it can change up or down.
Speaker 2:Because they're going toward it. Women are coming away from it.
Speaker 3:Exactly, exactly so. The message I want to give here is men have much more opportunity to increase their market value. Women have less opportunity to increase their sexual market value. They can, but they have less opportunity.
Speaker 1:One way that I've heard it put is that women are born with their value and they must retain it. Men are born with no value and they must gain it, so they have to work over time.
Speaker 2:Oh, there's so much to that. It's to unpack. That's a lot of things right there.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so you have your youth, you have your fertility, you have your virginity or your purity, all the things that men find attractive, and those things will decline over time. So you have to do your best to hold on to it.
Speaker 3:The conversations that are having with these new generations and the feminism movement is that we can go out and we can have as much sex as the men are having, we can sleep with as many people and we can be sexually liberated blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
Speaker 3:And to your point, a woman is born with a lot of value, like just out of the shoe, and that value decreases over time. You got a whole generation of women out there who really think it's okay, mentally and physically, to be like men and I'm not condoning men sleeping around and being promiscuous, but I am saying that the ramifications are different and there's a whole generation of women who don't believe that, and when they find out about it, when they get to the point in life where they understand that it's true, it's too late. You can't turn back the hands of time at that point. These aren't new ideas and new concepts. They're just things that people are unaware of, and my approach is I really want women to understand men better so that they don't get upset about the things that men like and the way men are. If you understand them better, you won't get as upset about it and then you can do something to make yourself more valuable in the sexual marketplace to men right.
Speaker 3:Same message goes to men. I want men to understand women better, because if you understand like, for instance, men will get mad at a woman and call her a gold digger because she wants to do that has a good job right. But if you sit down and you talk to a guy and help a guy understand that it's not so much about the money. What she needs is the security of knowing that you can protect her and that you have the ability to gain resources right so that you could take care of a family that's built inside of a woman.
Speaker 2:So if you look at the going back to this, the Power Moves chart and their pie chart on long term female sexual marketplace value things you can't change age looks, to an extent, like I think you can do a decent amount, depending on your income level, which will be your resources.
Speaker 3:So let me, let me say something about looks, because I separate looks and appearance. Okay, right, and appearance is something you can do something about looks you cannot. So I think here's how I categorize looks Looks are things you can't change you can't change the color of your skin. You can't change your height. Change your age Like those are things you can't change. Appearance you can change all day long. You can lose weight, you can gain weight. You can cut your hair, you can color your hair.
Speaker 2:This chart does not separate age from looks.
Speaker 2:So looks in this one, I think, is going with physical appearance. Okay, so you can change. That sort of resources you can change, but that's 3% on this long term scale. For women. For women, faithfulness is 20%. I would say that to. You can improve your understanding of people, but I think that is an innate thing. Like you're not a cheater. Like if maybe you can relearn that I don't know, maybe that's another conversation as you shake your head. Yes, it's another way. Yeah, this is great, love it. And personality is has 16% value here in this long term scale. You can improve your personality, you can learn how to be social, but sometimes that's also innate. So I'm going to go with a little bit of half and half on that. Like you can't make yourself an extrovert if you're an introvert.
Speaker 2:That is absolutely true, and so you're like, if you are a lover of a cocktail party, like you're truly here, like that's where you like, thrive, and that's where your personality is going to be on full display. But if you don't love that. That's not going to be a great spot for you. And then status 6%. Not a lot of value in that, but you can probably change that. Like the ones that you can change, I think you can change your status.
Speaker 3:Oh yeah, you can absolutely change the status and so I thought you were saying can you change the percentage?
Speaker 2:Oh, no, not the percentage.
Speaker 3:Some of the one, actually most of the ones you can change are not the highest percentage Bomp bomp, bomp, I know, but you see why I said it's a tough conversation to have with women and, quite honestly, we're at a point now where I just really wish that the women, the older women who've come to these realizations and understandings, would reach back to the younger women and say hey guys, that's not going to work out too well for you, right?
Speaker 2:So you have to be ready to hear that, that's a big like youth is wasted on the young, isn't that the phrase? Yeah, I definitely love being in my 30s more than I loved being in my 20s, cause I feel like I have lived a little bit, have experienced some stuff and know myself way better than I did before, which makes like some of this, some of these things that we've talked about today, make more sense.
Speaker 1:One of the comments I've heard is from women is that it seems unfair that they peak at 21 when, as you're saying, you don't really know yourself yet. You haven't, you don't have any experience. But what men would say is that good, we don't want you to know yourself or have any experience necessarily because you're coming in with preconceived notions and habits that create conflict in a relationship.
Speaker 2:Literally just had a guy say that to me. Oh wow, two weeks ago Actually, it was like a month and a half ago and I was so aggravated by his Because I was like you're a horrible person, so you want a woman who doesn't know anything, so that you can tell her how she's supposed to think and dominate her life.
Speaker 3:I was so hot right now thinking about it.
Speaker 2:And that wasn't. And it wasn't because I was like do you think that you're worth that? Like you're not that great.
Speaker 3:Yep, so here's, that's a great great.
Speaker 2:He was awesome and fantastic and every was like very desirable by every woman around him and he was like no, I want a 21 year old. I'd be like that makes a little bit more sense because you like you've, you're top tier, right, this dude was not Got you, he's not top tier Nope.
Speaker 1:So so hang in there In the mid level.
Speaker 3:That is great that you said that. Right, I got real, real hot, I know, and that is the. That's the typical response and in some cases.
Speaker 3:No, I was about to say in some cases it's warranted. But here's what I want you to do. I want you to separate that guy, throw the guy out and just put a man in that space. Sometimes I wish we could throw that guy out and just put a man in that space. And this is exactly one of those things that not going to change about. You can be mad about it. All you want is just not going to change about men. It's just not going to change because it's built into a guy's. What less experience for from a woman translates to some men is is less damage.
Speaker 3:Sure, yeah, that's what I translate less damage and fewer pieces that I got to put back together, because some do mess you up or and this goes back to why we Single people have to the single men have to stop being mean to the single women because they get damaged and they turn around and hurt people. It is that whole thing. But that's great. I totally get what you're saying.
Speaker 2:Right.
Speaker 3:And I can understand your response to this guy, especially if you turn around and look at him and said, but dude, you're not all that, because we?
Speaker 2:I just really interpreted that as a complete lack of self-awareness. That is precious and adorable and you could want that, but what do you have that's going to make that worth it? Well, he's a Be it like Hold on.
Speaker 3:Let's dig into that for a minute because, remembering our last conversation when we were talking about the formula of know yourself right, know your person and know what your person wants from you. Self-awareness thing is a big problem out there in the world, huge and and going along with this whole sexual market value conversation, and I'm going to go back to the older women A lot of that problem exists with the older women.
Speaker 1:Right.
Speaker 3:I've got a person that's very close to me, very close to me, and she divorced her husband at age 54. Both of them own some fault in the demise of, but at the end of the day she left the marriage. Right Now, when she left the marriage and got back out there on the scene, it's not a scene, she's like a bloodbath.
Speaker 2:Well, hang on.
Speaker 3:This dude was high value, millions, not a bad looking guy in shape, business guy. But the reason why I'm bringing this up? Because this range of women have experienced that type of dude but they don't understand that when they leave that dude there's not another one of them waiting for him, know it. And the self-awareness thing comes into play there, because they leave those situations thinking that I need another guy like that and that guy just doesn't exist. Not that he doesn't exist, but those guys don't want 50 for your old women, and that's just a fact. If you're trying to have a long term meaning for a relationship.
Speaker 3:Part of the problem hypergamy is one issue and then the woman's youth and fertility and all of those things play a role. Because, let's just say, my wife is 13 years younger than me, let's say I was 13 years younger than her, and then that means today she would be 55 and I would be 40. Right Now I'm a 40 year old and I'm doing real good for myself. Now I got a 50, 40 year old wife at home. Now, listen, I'm just simply saying because I'm not, I got to be careful that I'm not condoning any of this or that. I'm saying that all men or whatever any of that kind of stuff, but just based on our natural inclinations and our sexual market value, beliefs and understandings. That's more of a problem, because she's 54, she doesn't hit menopause and she don't want sex no more. He going strong at 40. So what is he to do? What is he to do? He's strong at 40 and 54, she got hot flashes and can't have sex no more. All I'm saying is that can it work? Yeah, it can work.
Speaker 2:Menopause, the conversation women don't have. Has it worked before?
Speaker 3:It has worked before. I wouldn't recommend it to people because it's just fraught with peril, so to speak. Peril One of the things I wanted to say about today's society sexual market value for men. Sex is important to women, and this is a conversation that I think gets had out of context a lot of the time too, because what we'll often say is that sex is more important to men than it is to women, and women will often push back against that conversation and say absolutely it's not more important. But the truth of the matter is this sex has a different effect on men and their psyches and their mental health than it does on women.
Speaker 3:I'm saying good or bad, better words, I'm just saying different. And sex is much more of a stronger motivation to men than it is to women. And me, being a guy, I can speak to some of these things on a level that sounds crazy. But just me being a guy and understanding how the drive of sexual desire can overtake your sensibilities much more than that potential to do it in a woman's space is the reason why I say it has a different effect and I wish women understood that. I wish they understood that for a couple of reasons. Number one they could be safer if they understood that, because they wouldn't do certain things. And you can say all day long that I don't care how I dress, I don't care what I do, I don't care why, blah, blah. God shouldn't force himself on me, or he shouldn't do this, or anything.
Speaker 3:And I agree with that 100%.
Speaker 2:But I just made clear that your emphasis noted.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I agree with that. But they understood how dangerous it is that they play with that. Sometimes they like they, they get close to it, whatever it means. I'm not saying anything specific here. I'm just saying I want women to understand. I want them to receive the idea that sex is not the same for women as it is for men.
Speaker 2:Okay, yeah, that's what I want to receive.
Speaker 3:And the reason they push back on it is because we weaponize that message to and we say, hey, sex is more important to guys than it is to women, and it's not right. But it's different and you got to understand that different women are different.
Speaker 3:Yeah, but the last thing I wanted to say about that is today's society is in big trouble with regard to the men's sexual market value at age 50, because sex is still a component of a guy's sexual market value, and there are 20 year old impotent guys today because of porn art, and if they're 20 year olds, you know they're 30 year olds.
Speaker 2:That is interesting.
Speaker 3:So here's one of the things that women have to be concerned about, right, you can't just assume that you found a 45 year old, 50 year old high value dude. You can't just assume that he's going to make things happen in the bedroom Like you can't do that anymore.
Speaker 2:Did you like take a shot before we had this podcast? I feel like you were like free flowing over there.
Speaker 1:I do, I love it. I do want to know maybe a silly question, but how does pornography contribute to male impotence? A couple of ways.
Speaker 3:Let's make it. Let's just give the simplest answer. The simplest answer to that is he basically wears away his sensation, his ability to be sensationalized, from a woman. He wears that away. Think about this Give me a hand for a minute. Just give me a hand. Y'all can't see this at home, but they're holding hands. I know myself and I know my body enough to know how to make it feel good. So I do this to myself. Oh, that does feel good.
Speaker 2:Yep, okay, holding hands, noted, holding hands. I'm pulsing my hand.
Speaker 3:I'm trying to give her a sensation, to help her understand that if I do this every day to myself and now I come to you your body cannot give me that sensation. It's impossible for your body to give me that sensation. So what have I done? I've worn away my sensation, my sensibility to a woman's body. So that's the short answer to why pornography can affect impotence.
Speaker 2:That's an interesting way of putting that.
Speaker 3:I know it's absolutely true and we'll go in anyway. I know it's.
Speaker 3:That's just one of the things. That's just one of the things. The other thing is this Let me give a blanket statement and say the reason why I think pornography contributes to impotency. The biggest reason is because it desensitizes men. That's the blanket statement, right? Because think about it, we live in a day and age now where pornography starts at age 10. Like, as soon as they get the smartphone, they got access to pornography. My point is, when I was 10 years old, there was no such thing, there was no internet, right? The best I could do was look at a magazine. When I went over my best friend's house every I don't know once a month maybe and his dad had a Playbore magazine, and Playbore is not porn. It's soft, yeah, it's very soft, yeah, right.
Speaker 3:So now you take a 10-year-old who starts watching a woman get slammed, slapped, abused. He starts that at 10 years old. Let's say he starts at 13 years old. I'm telling you, when a guy, when a young boy, experiences this, they take one or two rows. It's just like drugs. Some people might be able to take a drug and say, wow, that was an awesome experience and feeling. But let me not do that every day. Save that for when I want to have a really good time. And then they go live their life. And then there's the other guy who says whew, that was good, let me do that again. Whew, that was good, let me do that again, right. So he says he's got 10 years to do it and now he can't not do it because if he doesn't do it his body won't act right. Like he can't stop thinking.
Speaker 1:You get what I'm saying.
Speaker 3:The young guy is in this space and now he's 21 and he's already beat up all of his sensitivity. So you let him down with a woman that don't that? Just feels like laying down with a pillow. Wow, you give him a saying. This is all anecdotal type stuff that I'm saying but yeah, I get it.
Speaker 1:That's just sad.
Speaker 3:You guys take care of yourself so that you can rise above the rest when you get into your fifties. There's one quote I'll put out there and I got to look up the lady who gave this quote and it says you can ignore reality, but you can't ignore the consequence of reality. And my takeaway from that is to men and women alike stop getting mad about these things and stop trying to change the reality of things, because you can't change the reality of some things and you can close your eyes to it and stick your head in the sand and say that, hey, I can sleep with 300 guys if he can sleep with 300 women, you can do that, but you're not going to get past the consequences of reality when the day is done.
Speaker 1:Where do we go from?
Speaker 2:here,