Comfort Keepers Davie
Comfort Keeper’s in Davie, Florida is a family-owned and operated franchise serving families and their loved-ones since 2017. The family’s first location opened in 2017, after experiencing, first-hand the need for in-home services for their loved one. This defining moment sparked their desire to provide the same peace of mind and services to families who are overwhelmed and in need of care for their loved ones.
We launched the podcast with the aim of educating the public about various aspects of in-home care. Our objective is to offer a valuable resource that empowers individuals to make well-informed decisions regarding the well-being of their loved ones.
For more information visit:
https://www.comfortkeepers.com/offices/florida/davie/
or call: 954-947-7954
Comfort Keepers Davie
Ep #17: Caregiver Burnout: Navigating Stress and Finding Support Through Community Connection
Ever wondered how the stress of caregiving can silently creep into your life and take a toll on your well-being? As a caregiver myself, I share intimate insights into how burnout often goes unnoticed, especially during the demanding holiday season. This episode sheds light on the cultural and generational barriers that prevent many from seeking help. By sharing personal stories, we tackle the stigma surrounding caregiver burnout and reveal how connecting with online communities can offer much-needed solidarity. Take a glimpse into our article in Cooper City Living Magazine, which further explores this timely issue.
Discover practical strategies to manage caregiving responsibilities and keep burnout at bay. From the art of delegation to carving out personal time, we provide tools that ensure mental health remains a priority. We emphasize the importance of open communication in caregiving roles and discuss the pivotal role of respite care in providing relief without diminishing the caregiver’s value. By confronting pride and ego, caregivers can unlock the benefits of additional support, leading to a healthier caregiving journey. Join us for an exploration of these vital topics, ensuring caregivers feel empowered and supported in their roles.
Please visit our website for more information: https://www.comfortkeepers.com/offices/florida/davie/
Welcome to the Comfort Keepers Davy podcast, where we elevate the human spirit. Here's your host, Christy Groulet.
Speaker 2:Well, hello, hello, everyone, and welcome back to another episode of the Comfort Keepers Davy podcast. You know, Christy, caring for a loved one is indeed a labor of love, is it not?
Speaker 3:Yes, yes, there's nothing else to say. It is definitely a labor of love. It takes a lot out of us.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it often presents some difficult challenges. I know having two children as a caregiver to them it can be very difficult. I've never thankfully I've never had to deal with caring for elderly folks, but I know there is burnout that can occur, yes. So what is caregiver burnout and why is it so critical to address this?
Speaker 3:Burnout is the state of just being physically, mentally, emotionally exhausted by providing caregiving services to somebody that you're related to or somebody that's unrelated. It's important to talk about because there's a stigma around it. So just imagine this You're part of a big family unit and you take care of your own that's what I hear all the time. We take care of your own that's what I hear all the time. We take care of our own, which is lovely, my family's, the same way, we take care of one another as well. However, it gets to a point where that stigma comes up and you need help, but you're afraid to talk about it or judgment, fear of just what you've seen modeled for you in the past. So oftentimes caregiver burnout is not talked about until it gets to a point where it's just unbearable to handle and some people don't even know that that is what they're experiencing, but in fact it is.
Speaker 2:Why do you think that is, though? Is that like an ego thing? Why do caregivers often feel guilty about asking for help? And how can you overcome that mindset? Because everybody needs help.
Speaker 3:Right, can't go at it alone well, I think you have to look at generations right. You have to think about just the way people were raised, and I think we've talked about this before.
Speaker 2:Right the stubborn. I went to school.
Speaker 3:When I went to school, I walked 10 miles through snow and ice but you have have to imagine too there are also cultural things as well. Different cultures hold different standards and just practices. So you want to respect everybody's practices and what their wishes are, but also give them the permission to be able to lay down actual feelings, their emotions, so that they can talk about what they're actually experiencing. So you asked if it's somebody's ego. It could be somebody's pride, and they're just afraid to approach that. But oftentimes, and what I've experienced is that once they do, they do feel a lot better because they realize like, okay, I'm not the only one that has dealt with this or is dealing with this. You never are. But until you talk to somebody that truly understands it's, it's really hard to to convince yourself otherwise.
Speaker 2:That reminds me of dealing with some my daughter's 12. So she's entering the teen years and she's going through some challenging times and I started watching, like YouTube videos, and you know, I look at the comments and I'm going down and it's going through some challenging times and I started watching YouTube videos and I look at the comments and I'm going down and it's like every other comment like my child won't talk to me, won't this? Like I'm not alone. Okay, it's okay to get help sometimes. I know you recently wrote an article on this very topic for Cooper City Living Magazine which is going to be included in the March issue. Why was this on your radar now? Obviously, you deal with this. This is your job. But what's going on right now, what's coming up now that's got you thinking about this issue?
Speaker 3:Well, we just came out of the busiest time of the year Holiday time so forget about caring for anybody. Were you overwhelmed at any point in time over the last couple months with the holidays?
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 3:Okay. So for me, I think about all the way back to September. Okay, september, for me I'm thinking back to school. There's a lot of changes that happen when back to school happens for a lot of families. So you've got changes there, changes in your everyday programming per se. Then you have October. You're getting into the changing of the seasons, depending on where you live. You've got Halloween. If you celebrate Halloween, just like, again, things to participate in. November comes around. You have your thanksgiving, so family, more family travel. Christmas comes around, and then you have new year. So it's just been back to back to back of all, and I'm not projecting, but that is like my life too.
Speaker 3:That's what the last day you're a busy bee, christy quarter has looked like, but I'm just saying that generally speaking. This time of year we're dealing with weather changes. It's been cold in Florida, has it not? It's been so cold, unseasonably cold. It's cold everywhere. But these things all start to like layer and at the same time we're caring for our elderly loved ones. We're doing everything that we can, we think that we can do for ourselves, but we're not, so we're getting burnt out. So that's why I felt like it was such a good time to talk about caregiver burnout, because we're just on the cusp of coming out of all of these activities, all these holidays that everybody celebrates and just the busyness of the season.
Speaker 2:Tis the season. What are some common signs of burnout that caregivers might not? Because it's all about perspective, right, you get caught up in your own situation and often you don't realize there's a problem, but it's staring you right in front of the face. So, like, what are some signs that caregivers can look for that they might be going through burnout and they need to get some help?
Speaker 3:I think one of the most telling signs that others can usually see before like yourself would look internally and realize it's happening is irritability, just feeling to the point of you're frustrated. You're frustrated with a lot of things that you don't know how to verbalize that, or you just haven't verbalized it. You're internalizing it all. So you inevitably become a little bit shorter fused, a little bit more irritable.
Speaker 1:You get testy?
Speaker 3:Absolutely, and you're not meaning to, but that's just the way that you're feeling. You're physically exhausted, you may not be sleeping at night, you may not have the ability to sleep, depending on what it is that you're helping your loved one with, and if that's through the night, so you're getting a disrupted sleep pattern, you may feel like you're coming down with the cold or the flu and you just can't kick it. You just you don't feel your best and on top of that, you're irritable. So all these things that are happening really can have a lasting impact on somebody if they don't stop what they're doing to address it, and there's two sides to this coin.
Speaker 2:Right there's the caregiver and getting burnt out, but then how that translates in how they're taking care of the person they're caring for. Because if you're not well yourself, how can you possibly do a good job taking care of somebody else? You always got to get yourself right first so you could then help others right.
Speaker 3:Right? No, you're absolutely right and, honestly, when you see caregivers experiencing burnout, they're not intentionally trying to do less for the person that they love, that they're trying to care for. But you're right, it's inevitable that the care, the level of care that they should be providing, that they know that they're capable of providing when they're in a better place mentally, physically and emotionally, they're not quite able to get. So it's like the saying that you can't pour from an empty cup. I think that's a really important thing to say, that if you haven't cared for yourself and it's a very hard thing for people to set aside time for themselves you can't care for others to the best of your ability.
Speaker 2:Got to fill that cup, Got to take care of yourself Absolutely. And I know you've worked with countless families. You've had interactions with tons of caregivers. And I know you've worked with countless families, You've had interactions with tons of caregivers, I'm sure you've seen it all right. What are some of the long-term consequences that you've seen for caregivers, family members, folks that ultimately did reach out to you but went at it too long trying to help on their own and dealing with that? What are some of the consequences you've seen in those caregivers that didn't really address their burnout early enough?
Speaker 3:I think one of the most common things. If you really get to that point and I hope it's very far and few between we get to that, this point but you get apathetic, you just, you almost don't even care anymore. It's it's very sad to see when something like that happens because they just want to throw in the towel. I'm just, I'm too tired, I don't want to do this anymore. But you know, here I am and I've got this person I need to care for. So what do I do?
Speaker 2:All the more reason, all the more reason to get help early.
Speaker 3:Yes, yes.
Speaker 2:Before you get too burned out.
Speaker 3:And here's the thing when somebody asks for help, it doesn't have to be a daily thing Like you can start out with hey, I just need to delegate some of the things that I'm that are on my plate. What can I delegate out? And maybe it's not taking care of this individual, but maybe it's something else that's on your plate, maybe it's running a separate air and picking up groceries. Whatever it might be. What can you delegate to take it off of your plate? That's a huge thing. The moment you can like open your eyes and see that, um, that'll make a big, big difference. But the other thing, too is, truly, if you can ask for help and you can get respite just for a day, twice a month, even, depending on what it is that you're doing, that's going to make a big difference. It doesn't have to be an everyday thing. It can just be a couple times a month that you're saying, okay, I need to step away Today's going to be a me day.
Speaker 3:This is what I need to do. I mean, that makes a huge difference in someone's overall mental health.
Speaker 2:Just eases the burden ever so slightly. It does. We've talked about this before in terms of how to approach these topics, these conversations. We've talked about it when it's time to actually get help. How do you approach those conversations? How do you? What's your best advice for starting the conversation? So, let's say, you're a caregiver out there and you're starting to feel, or you're starting to feel burned out, what's the best way to approach that? Or from your lens, right Like how do you, how do you bring that topic up to somebody?
Speaker 2:Just to approach that, or from your lens right, like how do you, how do you bring that?
Speaker 3:topic up to somebody, Just bring it up. I guess I'm so, so simple to say Hit them right, hit them right straight up with a two by four. It is just one of those things where if you can just sit down and be vulnerable for just a few minutes and just say listen, I'm struggling, I love you, I'm here for you, I'm helping you, but I also need to care for me. So, having that conversation as transparent as possible, more often than not you're received very, very well because ultimately, they are indebted to you for caring for them. They want you to be well. They ultimately and what I see the most of is they carry then a sense of guilt. They feel so bad, and that's not the goal of this conversation either. But it has to start with a gentle conversation that is just let's sit down before it gets to that irritable conversation. That's where you don't want it to get, where you're just so frustrated with everything that's going on. Don't have a conversation at that point.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 3:Have a soft, quiet one.
Speaker 2:One of the tricks I've encountered through my travels in life is, whenever there's a difficult topic to bring up, or you need to ask somebody something uncomfortable or whatever it is, always get permission first before you go into the conversation. Right, like ask, like hey, I'm noticing something, I kind of want to tell you something, but I don't want to offend you or I, I, I know you're going through this, I just how could I best do that? Right, and you get the permission like well, just tell me. And then you're like okay, and then you can hit him with it. Sometimes that helps a lot when you're having a difficult, difficult conversation.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I Truly, and I think that's great advice, and each situation is a little bit different, but the sooner you can have that conversation like we've said over and over again earlier on in the caregiving experience, the better.
Speaker 2:Yeah, what do you? What would you say to someone out there that is hesitant? Right, they're feeling, they're feeling the burn, they're stressed out, but they're just in. You know, like we talked about the ego's in the way, whatever it is, they just don't want to get help. What would you say to them? To, I guess, open the door to the possibility of starting that conversation.
Speaker 3:What do they have to lose? They?
Speaker 1:have everything to gain, love it.
Speaker 3:Truly, they have everything to gain by having an extra set of hands to help them out with anything, and whether that's something like comfort keepers coming in and helping for a day or two a month, a week, whatever it is, the way that it's approached for us is we just. We want to hear the root of everything. The way that it's approached for us is we just. We want to hear the root of everything. What is it that's on your plate? That's so much. What can we do to help alleviate that? And if that's sitting with your loved one for so many hours while you go out into nature and just enjoy yourself, fantastic, that's all that we'll do. If it's more, you need us to run the doctor's appointments, because they're back to back and then stop at the pharmacy and then stop and get groceries, we can do that too.
Speaker 3:There's a lot of running around, there's a lot of things, but the more honest you are with yourself, then I think that the more options you have for somebody to come in and help you. We're not taking over, nobody's taking over your role. I think that's another thing too. People get very anxious when it's their pride, their ego, but they also don't want to be feel replaced, and that is not the case at all. We could never replace somebody. Nobody could ever replace who you are in your loved one's life. But we can help you be the best version of yourself.
Speaker 2:You mentioned a word earlier respite. Is it pronounced respite? Respite, that's right.
Speaker 3:Respite.
Speaker 2:Yes. So for those that don't know what is respite care and how does this help alleviate some of the pressures that caregivers face?
Speaker 3:So respite just essentially means providing rest. So we are yeah, we're alleviating somebody from their pulse per se. We're coming in to do what it is that they do so that they can get away. So we're providing rest for a primary care giver so they can rest and rejuvenate.
Speaker 2:All right.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 2:What did I miss anything here? I'm going through. I got some notes here. You've given some great advice.
Speaker 3:Is there any other, any other advice or anything that we kind of glossed over? I think that when I I'm not going to talk about a family member now at this point, but when I think about career caregivers people have been in this industry and they've worked with a lot of different individuals throughout their career when I think about career caregivers people who've been in this industry and they've worked with a lot of different individuals throughout their career I think that sometimes they are the most caregiver blind to burnout. They really are because they are doing such a phenomenal job with what they're doing. They're getting paid for what they do. It's a different dynamic when it's not your loved one, but truly they become like another loved one for yourself.
Speaker 3:I challenge those individuals to really look within, because at the end of the day, when they're not in that person's home, they're not on the clock per se. How are they feeling? How are they Like? I think people need to do more check-ins with themselves and I've seen some really phenomenal caregivers get burnt out because they do not do that. They don't. So this is not just for family members. This is for caregivers caring for anybody a neighbor, a church friend, just anybody.
Speaker 2:I want to do something different before we wrap up here. Okay, anyone that's listening out there that is currently a caregiver. I want you to go into the comments section and, if you've experienced burnout before, leave some tips that you've dealt with in your life that have helped you. And we'll go through the comments and we'll look and we'll pick out the one that stands out, the one piece of advice, the thing that we didn't talk about, the thing that even Christy never heard of, and we want to invite you on the podcast to talk a little bit about what you do and tell your story. I think that'll be fun. We'd love to have you and, as always, of course, if, if you need help with any of this stuff.
Speaker 3:Give Christy a call. Please do the best. You're the best.
Speaker 2:Christy. Thank you All right everyone. Thanks so much for tuning in and we will look forward to catching you next time on the next episode of the comfort keepers Davey podcast. Everyone stay happy, stay healthy and stay blessed, take care thank you for listening to the comfort keepers davey podcast.
Speaker 1:For more information, visit comfortkeeperscom or call 954-947-7954.