Comfort Keepers Davie
Comfort Keeper’s in Davie, Florida is a family-owned and operated franchise serving families and their loved-ones since 2017. The family’s first location opened in 2017, after experiencing, first-hand the need for in-home services for their loved one. This defining moment sparked their desire to provide the same peace of mind and services to families who are overwhelmed and in need of care for their loved ones.
We launched the podcast with the aim of educating the public about various aspects of in-home care. Our objective is to offer a valuable resource that empowers individuals to make well-informed decisions regarding the well-being of their loved ones.
For more information visit:
https://www.comfortkeepers.com/offices/florida/davie/
or call: 954-947-7954
Comfort Keepers Davie
EP #18: End-of-Life Care: Balancing Compassion and Personal Emotions
Death doesn't have to be a somber affair. Through our conversation about end-of-life care, we discover how moments of joy, celebration, and profound connection can transform this inevitable journey into something beautiful and meaningful.
Balancing emotions while providing compassionate care requires remembering our purpose - supporting not just the client but their entire family. Kristi shares one of her most touching experiences: a family bringing an entire band to play their loved one's favorite music, creating a celebration that brought tears to everyone's eyes. These meaningful moments illustrate how end-of-life care isn't solely about managing decline but about honoring the person's life and creating lasting memories.
Communication emerges as the cornerstone of effective end-of-life support. Having gentle, open conversations early - during peaceful times rather than crises - allows families to understand wishes and prepare emotionally. Look for signs like changes in sleeping patterns, eating habits, or personality, documenting everything to establish patterns and ensure appropriate medical attention. Cultural sensitivity plays a crucial role, as different backgrounds have varying traditions and expectations surrounding death that must be respected and accommodated.
Perhaps most profound is how working with people in their final chapter transforms our own outlook on living. "Life is too short," Kristi reminds us, emphasizing the importance of seizing each day rather than postponing joy. Her parting wisdom? "Focus on their life, not their loss" and "don't grieve in silence" - guidance that helps both the dying and their loved ones navigate this sacred transition with grace and support. Listen now to gain insights that might forever change how you view both life and death.
Please visit our website for more information: https://www.comfortkeepers.com/offices/florida/davie/
Welcome to the Comfort Keepers Davy Podcast, where we elevate the human spirit. Here's your host, Christy Groulet. Well, hello, hello everyone, and welcome back to another episode of Comfort Keepers Davy Podcast, here with Christy, as always, and we have a bit of a somber topic today, but we're going to do our best to keep our spirits upbeat and uplifted. We're talking today about end-of-life care. So I've seen certain things online, I've seen certain videos about this topic and I have my own conceptions probably misconceptions of the topic.
Speaker 1:But I thought this would be a good place for you, Christy, as you have experienced this firsthand with your clients, to kind of get your perspective. So I know this is a deeply emotional topic, maybe more so for the actual family of the loved ones, but I think when you're a caregiver, such as yourself, you develop a strong relationship with those you're caring for. So lots of emotions run high in this relationship with those you're caring for. So lots of emotions run high in this. How do you balance providing compassionate support while managing your own emotions with someone that's kind of approaching the end stages of life?
Speaker 2:It's definitely a tightrope walking act. It's not an easy thing, it truly isn't, but you have to just continue to remember why we're there in the first place. We're there to provide not only remember why we're there in the first place. We're there to provide not only care for the client, but also for their family, and if we keep our minds in that same frame mindset, then we're able to keep our wits about us. But you're right though, we do develop a very strong bond with all of the people that we work with. So it's never unemotional and truly. If there was a moment where there was not emotions, that would be a concern, right. So we're there to be emotional support for everybody that is going through the end of life stages.
Speaker 1:It's gotta be heavy. I have no. I fortunately I've not had pretty much no experience with this. I've had. I've had like very few relatives have passed and I can imagine that this can be heavy on you. Throughout this experience, is there anything that comes to mind, specific examples like what was maybe one of the most memorable moments that you've experienced while caring for someone in those final stages? Does something come to mind there?
Speaker 2:Oh gosh, yes, I think really what it comes down to is the most memorable are the ones that are the most heartfelt surrounding somebody, with just a genuine amount of love and appreciation in their final moments, and that can be expressed in a lot of different ways. But I've seen a family bring in an entire band to play a loved one's favorite genre of music and that was such a lovely, a lovely act. There was not a dry eye anywhere, anywhere.
Speaker 2:It like makes me teary just like talk about it because it was such a beautiful thing yeah so that's probably the most extreme right, like you're celebrating life at the end of life and you want to surround somebody with as much compassion and things that bring them joy. And for this individual it was music and they're no longer able to play um, but that didn't stop. That didn't stop from everybody else coming to this individual in their home, which was just such a selfless act for everybody involved.
Speaker 1:So, from what I understand, when somebody reaches end of life and their body starts basically shutting down, when you get like the active dying stage, From what I've seen is that while it can look rather unpleasant for the person going through this process, the body has mechanisms in place that kind of subdue it and make it feel comfortable. Is that an accurate assessment of it? Or, like what are some of the biggest misconceptions that folks like myself that really don't have an understanding or haven't seen the process? Can you kind of touch on that?
Speaker 2:I feel like that's such a private thing for each individual right because it is. It is very different for anybody going through it. Um, you're right that most of the time we generally see somebody that wants that will sleep more than be awake. Breathing patterns typically change too, but also depending on that individual's end of life care choices, they also may be receiving medical support to help ease them into this transition so that they are more comfortable. So everybody is a little bit different.
Speaker 1:I want to go back to the conversations. We've talked about this many times on past episodes, about how to bring up the topic in the first place that your loved one might need care, and how to have that conversation with the party. These types of conversations with families who may not be emotionally prepared. Like, let's just say, for instance, you're working with a client, you've been with them for a couple of years, whatever it is, and you start to notice some signs that they're approaching the end and maybe the family is not aware of it, maybe the family's out of state, maybe they talk to them on the phone. They just can't see what's actually going on there. But you see it and now you have to call the family you know, maybe in many cases the children and let them know that like this is getting close to the end. How do you typically approach that conversation with with folks?
Speaker 2:So for one, I'll just clarify that that would never be a last minute conversation. Our job is to keep communication throughout, from the very, very beginning, on everything. So if there's any change in condition or behavior, anything that's changing, the family is always going to know. So just that's how comfort keepers operates. I can't speak that for everybody, but there would never be a. Okay, jeremy, I'm caring for your loved one and here they got 24 hours left.
Speaker 1:Yeah, no, that's not happening I'm not.
Speaker 2:I'm not a medical professional. I can't tell you medically that that is what's going to happen, but I can tell you that I have concerns and I can talk to you about having these conversations with your loved one. It is a very tricky conversation to have you thought. Convincing somebody to have care come into their home and help them was tricky. Somebody to have care come into their home and help them was tricky. Being able to have an open conversation that is genuine, that's kind, that is not in a manner of panic, is truly important. So these conversations need to happen sooner.
Speaker 2:That's like the name of the game with everything. They need to happen sooner than later, but they need to happen during a time of peace and calm and not during a time of panic and less urgency something traumatic that has happened and the conversation also needs to be very gentle. It can't be, jeremy, what do you want to happen when you die? That's not the way to approach this conversation. The way to approach the conversation is truly just saying that what are your wishes as you age? How can I help you stay independent in your home? We, as your family, want to honor what your wishes are. Have you put any thought into that leaving?
Speaker 2:it open ended. That way it can be a gentle conversation that starts and it can evolve over time. But just straight coming into it is in a dark sense or a panicked sense. It doesn't usually lead to a good outcome. I often experience families that are just in denial that they have to have the conversation, and then, likewise, plenty of people who aren't ready to have the conversation.
Speaker 1:So having yeah, I can see sort of jump in there. But I can see like if somebody is not at the end yet, right, you're working with them to bring that up. I can see how somebody could be offended by like I am not, I'm not gone yet, why are you talking about this? But then on the other side of that, I can see how important it is to slowly plant seeds and have that that dialogue about it, so that when you do get to that point you're already comfortable about the topic and you can kind of ease into it further. Yeah, so it makes a lot of sense.
Speaker 2:One of the. Honestly, one of the easiest ways to have the conversation is they you've heard, or a family friend, there's something that's been experienced. Use that as an example, like hey, you heard about so-and-so, what happened here and it just got me thinking that should something like that ever happen to our family, we want to make sure that we honor what it is that you wish Like. Use an example, a real-life example, to lead into having a genuine conversation. And yes, the sooner you have the conversation, the better. That way, once the wishes have been made, you can always touch back on it later to say, hey, we had that conversation about your care options.
Speaker 2:Has anything changed? Have you considered anything different? I just want to make sure that we're all on the same page and that's just a loving approach and how to do this. And I think it's also equally important to realize that most of the time, family doesn't always see eye to eye with the individual who has the wishes. And, having to put personal feelings aside, everybody should just understand that not everybody is going to agree with what end of care wishes may look like for each individual, but it isn't about them, it is about their loved ones.
Speaker 2:So, putting differences aside during a very emotionally charged season of life. Anyway, this has to just be a realization. You have to come together for the one that you love.
Speaker 1:Indeed, you had mentioned earlier about how this is not something that comes on typically very quickly. You know well in advance that you're approaching this point. What are some of the typical signs? If you're speaking out there, maybe to a caregiver that hasn't gone through this before and this is their first experience and they're dealing with caring for mom and dad, what are some things that they can look for early on that might indicate they are getting closer to the end stages, so they can kind of make preparations and start that conversation if they haven't already?
Speaker 2:Yeah, so our caregivers, they have daily care logs, which is really great.
Speaker 2:So we have a baseline of how everything is going in the home. Every single time we're in the home, when we start to see changes with personality, we start seeing sleeping pattern changes, eating pattern changes. Those are usually some of the first cues and that's really where we're recommending for primary care physician visit. Like, let's just cover all of those faces and again, all these conversations and care logs that we do to track what it is that we do in the home and how your loved one is doing is all communicated back to the family or to those who need to know.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's too serious. And then on the other side of that, somebody that ignores it or justifies it in their mind that, oh, everything's going to be okay, because they don't want the person to pass. So they think, oh no, I'm sure that's fine, I'm sure it's fine. And then you ignore it and don't go get help. So that's great that you're. That's a great piece of advice. Document everything, keep a log and then you'll notice are there any patterns that are developing or any things out of the norm? And you can get it checked out. Take them to the doctor, absolutely. What about cultural or personal beliefs? How do you typically navigate that when working with families from different backgrounds, Because different cultures have different visions of how this process should go right?
Speaker 2:Yeah, absolutely, and that's just an open conversation with that family. So we want to honor what it is that they believe and what they want the end of care to look like. What that looks like for us Are we more hands-on? Are we less hands-on? Are we doing more for the family as they spend those precious moments with their loved one? What does it mean? Does it mean quiet? It mean Does it mean quiet solitude. Does it mean we're having a celebration? I mean it really can range everywhere, but we don't want that to be a surprise. So, again, communication is key. With everything and the relationships that we have with the families that we work with, we will know what our role is. We'll have that conversation so that, as we approach and as we continue forward, we are providing the best support. That is uplifting, but also respectful for what their values and belief systems are.
Speaker 1:How has working at end of life care changed your personal perspective on life and death?
Speaker 2:Oh well, that's a deep one.
Speaker 1:Oh, we're going deep.
Speaker 2:I think that the biggest thing is that life is too short. I think that that's the biggest thing and why it's so important, when you are capable of doing things, to do them, so that you aren't at the very end wishing you had done those things.
Speaker 1:One of the biggest mysteries isn't it is how the human mind perceives time. As you age, as you go through, like when I was younger, I used to look at my parents, adults, and I thought to myself oh, I got plenty of time.
Speaker 1:I'll do all this stuff later. And now, as I'm getting older I'm 45, the perspective shifts so tremendously and you start to think, wow, this is not going to be forever. It feels, when you're younger, that it's going to be forever. Oh, you've got so much time left and we and we tend to just kick things down the road to deal with it in the future. And the future is rapidly, rapidly coming.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it is, it really is, and I think that I think that seizing seizing the day right and I think that seizing the day right is a really big deal, and when you see somebody at the end of their life and what they're reflecting on, they're reflecting on the things that they did do and they're reflecting on those memories, and I think the more memories that someone can make any day at any time will just fill that bank right, which is a really important thing.
Speaker 1:Yeah, sometimes it's difficult in the moment to kind of take that perspective on and get things get and, like you said, seize the day, and I'm reminded of that every day as I navigate this beautiful life. If there could be one piece of wisdom that you could share with someone facing the loss of a loved one, what would that be?
Speaker 2:Focus on their life. Focus on their life and not their loss, and I think that that helps people in their grieving process the most. This is not just one piece of advice, because it's such a lot, it's so much, but really the other thing, too is don't don't grieve in silence and in solitude. There's a community of people, whether you know them or not. There are support groups, and it is so important because your life does not end. You can keep living for the person that is no longer there with you well said.
Speaker 1:Well, we'll leave it at that.
Speaker 2:I like that, unless you have anything else you'd like to add I feel like my heartstrings have been tugged a lot this morning and so I feel that I've given the best wisdom and experience that we've had. I've personally had and um and truly know that this conversation, these conversations, are hard to have, but we are absolutely just a phone call away to talk about what they can look like.
Speaker 1:All right, very good. Well, everyone, thank you so much for tuning in and we will catch you all next time on the next episode, the Comfort Keepers Daily Podcast. Everyone take care and carpe diem.
Speaker 2:Carpe diem.
Speaker 1:Seize the day. Live your life to the fullest, because we only got this one life to live, let's make the most of it. Stay beautiful out there. We love you all. Bye-bye, bye. Thank you for listening to the Comfort Keepers Davie podcast. For more information, visit comfortkeeperscom or call 954-947-7954.