Comfort Keepers Davie
Comfort Keeper’s in Davie, Florida is a family-owned and operated franchise serving families and their loved-ones since 2017. The family’s first location opened in 2017, after experiencing, first-hand the need for in-home services for their loved one. This defining moment sparked their desire to provide the same peace of mind and services to families who are overwhelmed and in need of care for their loved ones.
We launched the podcast with the aim of educating the public about various aspects of in-home care. Our objective is to offer a valuable resource that empowers individuals to make well-informed decisions regarding the well-being of their loved ones.
For more information visit:
https://www.comfortkeepers.com/offices/florida/davie/
or call: 954-947-7954
Comfort Keepers Davie
Ep # 20: Family First- Navigating Care Decisions for Loved Ones
The decision to seek help for a loved one—or ourselves—often comes with a complex mix of emotions. Relief, guilt, uncertainty, and even reluctance swirl together, making that first call one of the hardest steps in the caregiving journey.
Kemar Brown from Comfort Keepers pulls back the curtain on what happens after that call, revealing insights from six months of helping families navigate these challenging waters. His perspective challenges widespread misconceptions about in-home care, particularly the belief that services are only for elderly individuals near the end of life. The reality? Comfort Keepers serves clients as young as 26, providing vital support during recovery from injuries, managing cognitive challenges, or simply offering companionship when life gets overwhelming.
Perhaps most illuminating is Kemar's discussion of the subtle signs that someone might need assistance—expired food in the refrigerator, declining personal hygiene, an unkempt living environment. These clues often go unnoticed during phone conversations but become apparent during in-person visits. For family members concerned about a loved one, learning to spot these indicators can make all the difference.
The podcast also addresses the unique resistance men often show toward accepting help, with Kamar sharing his approach to overcoming this barrier through conversation, empathy, and reframing "caregiving" as "personal assistance." His success story of helping a 50-year-old workplace injury victim regain independence demonstrates the transformative power of compassionate care at any age.
Whether you're considering support for a parent, partner, or yourself, this episode offers valuable guidance on starting that difficult conversation and finding the right fit for your unique situation. Remember, seeking help isn't surrendering independence—it's often the first step toward reclaiming it.
Please visit our website for more information: https://www.comfortkeepers.com/offices/florida/davie/
Welcome to the Comfort Keepers Davie podcast, where we elevate the human spirit. Here's your host, Christy Groulet.
Speaker 2:If you've ever had to make that call for help, be it for a parent, a spouse or maybe even for yourself, well you know it comes with questions, emotions and often a lot of uncertainty. It's not easy. So today we're sitting down with Kamar Brown, who is a team member at Comfort Keepers, and he's someone who has firsthand experience dealing with families who are really going through it. So we're going to kind of get a look behind the scenes with how this process works. Kamar. Welcome to the show, my man, thank you. Thank you for having me. It's a pleasure, of course, of course. So let's start off. Tell everybody a little bit of how long you've been with Comfort Keepers.
Speaker 3:So I've been with Comfort Keepers a couple months now, six or seven months now. It's been an amazing ride. It's pretty short, but it's been absolutely amazing so far Just being able to go into the homes of these prospects and being able to help them.
Speaker 2:It's been amazing so when you first speak with a family member? What are the most common concerns or struggles that you've been hearing?
Speaker 3:Yeah, great question. It varies. A lot of family members just want to know that their loved one is safe, not lonely, being taken care of properly, and it's very hard for them to actually give up the responsibility of providing care. It's something that they often struggle with, but essentially they just want to know that their family member is safe and being taken care of properly.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I can imagine it could be difficult giving up control, especially for a loved one that you've cared for in many cases, for many years, if not, in some cases, decades and now you have somebody coming into the home who's a stranger right? You don't know them and you have to put your trust in them. So how do adult children typically feel when they make that first call? Is it more, is it relief, is it guilt, confusion, a little mixture of all? What are you kind of encountering?
Speaker 3:Yeah, you hit the nail right on the head. It's actually a mixture of everything you mentioned. It's relief, like you know. They're finally happy that they're speaking to somebody who actually gets it. But in the mix of that is a little bit of guilt that, hey, you know, I'm giving up control because these parents that they're calling about were their caregivers when they were younger and they feel that they're obligated to do the same for them when they're in this position. So it's a mixture of guilt, feeling of relief and just everything combined. But we often are reminding them that, hey, I know what it is. Let's work together to ensure that your mom or dad is well taken care of the full spectrum of emotions experience.
Speaker 2:So are you encountering I mean, you've been doing this, you know, like you said, six, eight months now? Are you seeing any common themes that come up? Misconceptions with folks when you speak to them about what role Comfort Keepers actually plays in these situations.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I don't know if it's our name, but we get inquiries or calls, sometimes thinking that we're not even a caregiving company, for want of a better word. Um, you know, a few persons might think we, we're we selling, we're selling mattresses. But you know, for those who know that we're in the caregiving business, uh, oftentimes think that we're only there when it's close to end of life or mom or dad is extremely sick, uh, but we're often tasked with just informing them or educating them that, hey, you don't need to wait until mom or dad is like on their deathbed.
Speaker 3:If they just need a little assistance, that's where we come in. We'll meet you or dad, where you're essentially at.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and it's that option right? I think a lot of people feel when they get to the point where they can't care for somebody, the only option is assisted living. Every time I talk to people I interact with and tell them about what you do at Comfort Keeper is that there's another option. You don't have to ship mom and dad off to assisted living. You could bring somebody into their home and they could spend the remaining years in the comfort of their home, not having to deal with the trauma of leaving that environment. Very, very powerful stuff. Once you obviously, when people call you on the phone, they're probably their guard is up right. They're not being completely candid about all aspects of what's going on. Once you actually meet the family in person, what new things tend to surface that weren't really brought up in the initial conversation or consultation that you had over the phone?
Speaker 3:Yeah, great question. Again, it's a lot of things. It could be subtle memory lapses You're noticing cognitive issues, mobility issues Again piggybacking off what you're saying. A lot of prospects that call in or adult children. For parents that call in, they're very guarded and not giving you a lot of info, downplaying their mom's or dad's situation. But seeing them in person, we pick up a lot, Just their living surroundings, how they're moving about, how freely or not freely they're moving, mobility issues, cognitive issues, their demeanor, their personality, that we wouldn't be able to pick up over the phone. These are things that we pick up when we're in person and speaking to them.
Speaker 2:So I can imagine that when people come in, in many cases they might underestimate the severity of the situation. What are some of the subtle signs that you kind of pick up on that a person may need more help than their family may have initially realized?
Speaker 3:Yeah, it's so many. It could be them forgetting to shower, not changing their clothes. These are things that they would have been doing when you know they weren't in the situation. It could be expired food in the refrigerator. It could be an unkept place. Their surrounding is not as kept or tidy as it once was. Did I say memory? Yeah, these are a few things that come to mind that we pick up when we're in person to tell us that mom or dad needs a little bit of assistance.
Speaker 2:What advice would you give to someone who's starting to notice that their parent or a loved one needs help, but doesn't know how to bring it up right? Because people are resistant to criticism and especially if you're talking about like declining functionality as you get older, and especially older generations tend to be more stubborn, like, oh, I can do it myself. And then if you bring up the conversation, you get that immediate trigger like, oh no, I don't need help with that. So what's the best way to initiate that conversation as a you know, to a loved one?
Speaker 3:Yeah, it varies from person to person. Nobody knows their mom or dad like an adult child would. So if you know you have a defensive, a parent who is used to doing everything on their own, bring up this conversation subtly will be the best thing to do, but the most important thing to do is actually bring it up. You might clash with mom or dad, but essentially what you're trying to do is get them help or start care and ensure that, especially with a defensive parent, ensure that when you are offering help, it's not done in a way that they feel like they're being a burden, because that will set them so far back than you would want. Just do it with love, do it with compassion, do it with empathy. Ensure they feel that you are doing it out of love and you're enjoying helping them. Once they feel like they're being a burden, it's not going to turn out the way you want it to. But again, the most important thing is to get this conversation started and do it with love, empathy, compassion and yeah, that's it. That's what.
Speaker 2:I would say passion and yeah, that's it. That's that's what I would say. Yeah, I've talked to Christy about this before, where it's almost like when, when Comfort Keepers is introduced to the family or to the people that need help, it's almost done in a way where they're presented as kind of a friend of the family, if you will. You know it's, it's a very again, it's a very subtle thing and very delicate conversation. All goes back to communication. But, but you're right, Bringing it up is the first step. It need not be avoided for concern on how the other person's going to take it. Yeah, so we talked also on the last episode about how this is not only for seniors, right, Comfort keepers. Can you share some examples of folks that you've helped that aren't seniors? Maybe someone recovering from surgery or illness.
Speaker 3:We are just focused on helping seniors. Are seniors a large part of our clientele? Definitely yes. As we know, we're in the retiring state of Florida. This is where all the seniors are, but we've helped persons as young as 26, 27, suffering from behavioral issues, cognitive issues, in their 30s 40s, just in need of companion care, somebody to help them, you know, clean their surroundings a little bit, take them to their doctor's appointments and again, we'll meet the person. As long as they're over the age of 18, we can legally, you know, assist them and, yeah, so you don't have to be a senior. Again, we've helped 26-year-olds, 30-year-olds, 40-year-olds. We now have somebody who is in his 50s. He suffered he just turned 50, actually he suffered an injury on his job. So now he's off for a couple of years trying to recover from his injuries and we're coming in and helping him with his daily activities and taking him to his doctor's appointments, and he's loving it.
Speaker 2:Why do you think it's so important to normalize care for people at any stage of life, not just the elderly? Because I think that again and I had this misconception as well until I spoke to Christy about it I thought that what you did was mostly for elderly people. I didn't realize there was other people that could necessarily benefit. But we started having that conversation. I've been noticing this is an important topic. Why do you think it's important to normalize this for people at any stage?
Speaker 3:Yeah, it's so important because, unfortunately, as you know, the human race we're becoming, we're living much longer, but we are becoming sickly at younger ages. We are seeing persons with, you know, cognitive issues at much younger ages, and just at much younger ages, and just it's important because we don't want anybody that thinks they're too young to ask for help, because what's going to happen is you're going, your situation is going to deteriorate and you recovering from whatever it is that you're going through. If you had gotten help, that won't be the case. So we want to change or do away with that misconception, to allow these persons that are at these ages that they think they're not supposed to be asking for help, for them to be able to freely come and ask for help and not feel not having this feeling of shame or you know anything of the sort.
Speaker 2:So yeah, Obviously each case is different, but I'm curious. This just came to my mind. Do you notice? I would think you do more resistance to help from men as opposed to women, because I'm thinking back to myself when I'm out and about, let's just say I'm if I'm lost, right, it's perfect example. As a guy, you're lost. We never like asking for directions, but women are always quick to jump. You're asking for directions. Do you see that same parallel when you meet with folks to help them? Like women are way more open to receive the help and then are more resistant, definitely definitely we are as men, we think first of all we don't we don't like going to the doctors, we don't.
Speaker 3:We think we are superman all the time, no matter what age we're at. Uh and uh. Yeah, we, we do see it, and oftentimes these men wait until their situation is. They have extremely, they have declined extremely, and there's no other thing for them to do but ask for help. No, but had they done that a little bit earlier, they would have been in a better situation. But yes, we definitely see, and what I try to do in these situations is just to remind them that, hey, we're not here to take your independence away. What we're here to do is assist you. Let let us pick up where you are unable to do at this current moment and if we are able to help you back to better health. There's no contract with us. We are here to help you as needed, and if you no longer need us, then that's where we'll leave you.
Speaker 2:How do you respond when someone says I'm not sure if this has happened to you yet, but if you come into a home and somebody gives you resistance, right, they say I don't need a caregiver, I'm not old enough for a caregiver, I don't want help. What do you say to that?
Speaker 3:I'm like, hey, I totally get it. I totally get it. I just spark a conversation with them. I oftentimes just shift the conversation to another topic. Talk about something they love. Just dig a little bit deeper. Look at my surroundings. Are they a sports fan? Just talk about things they love.
Speaker 3:I might see that they golfed and ask them when is the last time you played golf? Or just bring up a topic that I know they love. Get to know them a little bit better. Just bring up a topic that I know they love. Get to know them a little bit better. And as I'm getting deeper with them, then I jump back on the topic and remind them that we're not here to. Don't look at us as a caregiver. Look at us as it depends on who I'm in front of. Look at us as your own personal assistant or an extra set of hands in home. Let's help you keep your surroundings a little bit clean or wherever I see or feel that they need help. But that's where I focus on. But I never try to force it down their throats or force it. I just, you know, agree with them and just get to know them a little bit better and then see where we can meet in the middle.
Speaker 2:Is there a moment that stuck with you thus far, something where you came in and you saw a real transformation for a family once the care began?
Speaker 3:Yes for sure, a few things have, or moments have, stuck in my mind.
Speaker 3:One, for I made mention of this Clanovorz, who he's pretty young, he's 50 years old and he suffered an injury at his job and when the first time I went to see him he was so badly bent over.
Speaker 3:And we don't do physical therapy clearly we're here to help them with daily living activities, but the fact that we came in and we took a lot of the burden off him from, you know, doing the cleaning, the chores, taking him to his doctor's appointments, helping him cooking, just being there as a companion for him. He lived with his wife and his adult children, but everybody was so busy and unable to tend to him and I feel like he was becoming a burden to them because of how demanding he was. But he loved our caregiver and she essentially came in and just transformed him. Like every time I speak to him, he's smiling, he's talking more, he's moving around much better and he's on the journey of complete recovery. And you know we're so happy that we could assist, or we can assist, or we are assisting in, in getting him back there yeah, that's good stuff.
Speaker 2:So what would you say to someone? Maybe there's someone that's watching this right now and they're on the fence right, they've been. They've had that little voice in the back of their mind telling them that they they should probably get help, but they've been very resistant to the idea. And now they're watching this and they're thinking like, oh, should I call, should I not? No, I can do it. What would you say? What would you want them to hear right now, in this moment?
Speaker 3:Yeah, just pick up the phone. Pick up the phone, it's just a call and you call us and we're just having a conversation. It's about trying to see what's going on with mom, what's going on with you, what's going on with dad. Let's see how we can assist you. And if, for whatever reason, we're unable to assist you from comfort keepers, what we try to do our best is to direct you in the, you know, send you in the right direction to get assistance. We get calls often for assisted livings and when I peer a little bit deeper to see, staying at home and us providing a caregiver for mom or dad is an option. If they say no, then we steer them in the right direction if it is an assisted living they're looking for. But the most important thing is just making that call. Let's have a conversation and let's see what can come of it.
Speaker 2:It all starts with an initial conversation and communication and you never know and maybe it turns out you don't need help after all. Right, but just having that conversation just can change the frame and change your perspective and can get some new information and get you to a brighter place. So, kimar, is there anything else that you'd like to touch upon before we wrap this up? Anything else Did I miss anything, I'm sure there's a lot.
Speaker 3:Yeah, we've spoken about a lot and you know, we all are getting old, we all are aging.
Speaker 2:Hey, speak for yourself. I know sorry, I'm young forever.
Speaker 3:You know, but apart from yourself, I don't know of anybody that's not aging. We all will get to our 60s, 70s, 80s and, who knows, we might be in need of care. It's a common thing. We all need some help, some assistance from time to time. We might not be old, we might just have suffered an injury on the job or some life-changing incident happened that we need some, some assistance. And that's where comfort keepers comes in. We're just here to make your life a little bit easier and, again, if we are unable to do that personally or from within our company, we will help steer you in the right direction. So, again, as you said, piggybacking off what you said, it starts with an initial call. Let's get on the phone, let's meet each other, let's see if we're the right fit and, uh, hopefully we'll be able to help you yeah, life can be challenging.
Speaker 2:It is everybody can use a hand sometimes. Yeah, it's that simple good deal, all right. Well, so let's, let's leave it at that. Everyone, if you enjoy this content, don't forget to like and subscribe. You know the drill, all that fun stuff. If you yourself has had a personal experience in anything that we discussed today, let let us know about it in the comments If you think that we missed anything. All your feedback is always welcome. We'd love to hear what you have to say and we appreciate you joining us on this journey, and we wish you all a happy and healthy day, and we'll catch you next time on the next episode of the Comfort Keepers Daily Podcast. Everyone, take care, stay blessed and have a wonderful day.
Speaker 1:Thank you for listening to the Comfort Keepers Davey podcast. For more information, visit comfortkeeperscom or call 954-947-7954.