The Tightrope: Balancing Career, Motherhood, and Everything In Between
Being a mother is wonderful, hard, and everything in between. Being a working mother is its own brand of chaos. Join hosts Jess Feldt and Daniella Cornue as they discuss the challenges and the triumphs of being a working mom today.
The Tightrope: Balancing Career, Motherhood, and Everything In Between
Thriving during Travel with Kids
What if you could turn the chaos of summer travel with kids into a fun, memorable adventure? Join us on the Tightrope as we celebrate the start of summer and the joy of balancing career, motherhood, and everything in between. Hosts Daniella Cornue and Jess Feldt share their personal stories and practical tips on planning the perfect family vacation. From scheduling dedicated planning lunches with your partner to incorporating educational activities that broaden your child's horizons, we've got you covered.
Traveling with young kids can be daunting! We relive our own travel challenges, including an unforgettable trip to South Africa with an 18-month-old, and offer strategies to manage jet lag, tantrums, and the importance of sticking to nap times. We take you through the ups and downs of family vacations, emphasizing the necessity of making it enjoyable for adults and kids.
Tune in for a rich episode filled with insights and advice for navigating summer travel with kids.
Thanks for listening to The Tightrope! We would greatly appreciate a review and a share if you enjoyed today's episode.
To connect with us further, please reach out to:
Jess Feldt: www.jessfeldtcoaching.com
Daniella Cornue: www.levillagecowork.com
You can also find us on Instagram, Facebook, and LinkedIn!
Have you ever heard what they call parenting when you're on vacation, that you're not actually on vacation? It's just extreme parenting.
Daniella Cornue:Yeah, I mean, that's definitely true. Hello to all of our exhausted and exhilarated working parents and welcome to the Tightrope, a show about balancing career, motherhood and everything in between.
Jess Feldt:We are your hosts, Daniella Cornue and Jess Feldt, and in today's show we are kicking off summer and talking about keeping cool while traveling with kids and by this, you know, I don't mean keeping air conditioned cool I mean keeping sane, keeping it on the level.
Daniella Cornue:We are both kind of in summer attire. Right now too, you can tell we're like ready, we. I got like uh-huh, I'm ready for summer, I am excited for summer, I am excited to on. I think maybe other, maybe it's because it's my first time. I think it's like one of those things that like later I'm gonna come back and be like I can't believe I said that, but I am excited that school's out for Vivie so that we can have a little. I'm just sick of the routine of getting her out the door in the morning and I'm sure I'm going to gobble these words back up with touch base with me at the end of the summer, but I am excited for it right now. So right now I'm just going to live in this little space.
Jess Feldt:Yeah, I mean you and I both you and I both have that experience this year of having our kids in public school for the first time, like Vivie's in pre-K, Caleb's in kindergarten. So it's our first real, like last day of school summer break coming up. That's not just this, like 365 days a year of daycare and what is summer because it looks like every other season, 100%.
Daniella Cornue:This is. You know, it's so funny, Jess, because I feel like my parents at Le Village. They're like I'm like, oh, y'all don't know how good you have it. I'm like cobbling together camp and vacations and travel and trying to put all this.
Jess Feldt:Remember that you just said you're really excited about that.
Daniella Cornue:I am excited about it. But it is interesting to me because even like previously, like it was just like Vivie just went to Le Village, right, like that was our experience. She just went to Le Village. I had care the whole summer and I did whatever I wanted to. If we wanted to go on vacation, we went on vacation, and if we didn't, then we didn't, and that was it right. Now it's changed, our experience has changed and we have to do both things. We literally had to, like sit down with Nate and create a calendar at the beginning of the year, like where's when are we doing this, and then are we doing this, and all of that is a part of get your kids getting older, which is insane.
Jess Feldt:Yeah, Ryan and I are well known for our planning lunches. They happen either monthly or quarterly depending on what we have going on, but on a weekday we schedule lunch where we actually go out together. But we just sit down with both of our laptops and we do all of the planning. And so we had one of those that was just strictly based on like the summer and our plans and the summer camps and what are the dates and the last day of school and the field days and blocking all of the calendars and it was. It was one of our lovely planning lunches.
Daniella Cornue:I love that, and Nate and I started doing that because you recommended it and it has been a huge help to us to sit down and get on the same page. We try to do it once a month, mostly just because, also, we're not very good at going on dates, so it's a lot easier for us to squish this in to a lunch than it is to get out on a date sometimes.
Jess Feldt:Yeah Well, and so we wanted to talk about travel because it's something that you and I have both bonded over a lot, and especially with having kids at about the same age it's. You know. The question has always been how do you incorporate your kids into your love of travel? Because it is so core, at least for me and for Ryan and I, it's like really core to who we are in our relationship and our family. But also it looks so different when you involve kids into the equation. What's so important about travel for you, Dani, and like what is so important about you and like getting Vivie into it, right?
Jess Feldt:Because for some people it's a really personal thing, but I think for both of us. But I want to hear more it's it's really easy to have an opinion on things.
Daniella Cornue:when you see a very small sliver of the way people live, when you see the way that people live broadly, it changes your viewpoint completely.
Jess Feldt:Yeah, I think it's the same. As far as like seeing other perspectives, I became obsessed to travel because I loved to read as a kid and I would read books that took place in so many different countries, right, or like people's lives that looked so different from mine growing up in the suburbs, and just really wanted to get out there and experience, like, what are these different lives, what are these different cultures? Because I think you're right, you don't really get it unless you can be there and immerse yourself in it and understand it. And it's just been really, really important for us to be able to instill that in our kids, that like, no, you might live in Chicago, but that's only one way to live. Look at all these other ways to live, in the way that people are in cultures and languages, and just be able to immerse our kids in that.
Daniella Cornue:Yeah, I think you know, teaching everyone a global responsibility is something that is, especially as we get more and more into a global economy and some of these other factors. I think it's just incredibly important that kids are have a diversity in learning that only having that kind of an experience is going to give them. But it ain't easy. No, it's not no it is not. We just got back from a trip actually this weekend, and how was it?
Jess Feldt:I know where you were, but yeah, yeah, we it was good, you know it was fine.
Daniella Cornue:Not my favorite place that we've been, but not my. I'm not gonna, I'm not gonna shame or call anybody out. It was a good trip but you know it was not without its difficulties. As far as, like Vivie being a child, you know she and she's a great kid and she's an easy flyer and she's all these things we've been doing this for years but we still had, we still had to knock some points off her point system because she had a few tantrums where I was like, girl, you got to let this go.
Daniella Cornue:But she, you know, she has her own view of the way that she wants to do things. She and this is one of the things that I think we're going to get into right Is like how do you incorporate your children into your travel experience? Because it's no longer just your trip, it's also their trip. And I think where families sometimes go wrong is that they try to plan travel for them without really thinking about the fact that now they have a completely different person with a completely different perspective and viewpoint of the world. And if you're going to try to drag them along without considering their perspective, you're going to have a hard time with it.
Jess Feldt:Well, and I'll counter that with I think it's also important not just to make travel about the kids too, that, as the adults, especially as the adults who are planning and doing all the mental, emotional labor of planning and packing and going on the trip that it has to be for you too. So it really is about balancing all the needs of everyone in the family. Because I mean yes, because honestly, if we were doing, if we traveled with our kids and every single time we just went to a beach or a pool, I'd be bored out of my mind, like that's not the kind of travelers we are. We're not resort people like sometimes, like I'm gonna be wrong, I'm gonna love a resort for like a weekend, but that is not our ideal travel. But my kids would be like a pool and floaties and chicken tenders, all day long.
Daniella Cornue:Sure, yeah, 100%. It is about creating that balance, and it genuinely is a tightrope that you have to walk to create experiences for yourself simultaneous to experiences for your kids, but I think you've got to figure out a way to do both, and that's where the magic happens.
Jess Feldt:That's where the magic happens. But okay, fun question what do you think is the worst age to travel with, Based on what you know so far? I was just saying this is what I know so far.
Daniella Cornue:I mean toddlers are nearly impossible to travel with From one to three. It is really really, from my perspective, was really challenging for that age. When Vivie was a baby, you strap her, I would strap her, I baby wore that girl everywhere, I strapped her on the front of me, I, we, I mean you just do whatever. She just would go along with it because she was a baby. So it was like, you know, she'd fall asleep in the, the carrier and I'd, you know, poke along to wherever else we were going. Um, when she got, when she became mobile and didn't have words, basically she had, and so she couldn't communicate her needs. She was very. It was like I had to be so meticulous about the way that I was coordinating our travel that that was a hard age to travel with her. What was yours?
Jess Feldt:I would agree it's two for me and maybe like to even be more specific because I have small kids and they could last longer in it. But I think when they got too old for me to baby wear, that's where it got difficult. Like, we don't travel with strollers We've never been a family that traveled with strollers. It was either I was baby wearing or you were walking. And I think when they were too big to baby wear which again my kids are tiny like they were I was still wearing them at almost three years old, when they were too big for that, but they didn't have the language yet to really be able to understand and were having meltdowns and tantrums. That was the hardest age.
Daniella Cornue:Yep, by far Same Same. I honestly think that we I think that we limited a lot of Vivie's travel during that period. I had gotten some advice from some other friends that had traveled extensively, and so we kept her experiences very what I would consider as an educator, developmentally appropriate things that she would enjoy, that we would also enjoy Like where's the intersection between those two things and that made it a lot easier. It does not mean that she did not continue to have those meltdowns or tantrums because they're children and that's what they do, but it did make it a lot easier. What? What were some of the trips that you guys took around that age? Like where'd you guys?
Jess Feldt:go Well. So, between the two kids, we took Caleb to South Africa when he was 18 months. Okay, and that was a wonderful trip. We were going to visit family. My husband is from South Africa, so it was not just like, hey, let's take an 18 month old on a 24 hour plane flight, like no, we did voluntarily do this, but really because we were going to visit his grandparents, who are quite old, and I'm really glad we did. We took that trip in February, january of 2020, before literally the world shut down. So I'm really glad we got that trip in, but it was hard to have one an 18 month old on a 24-hour plane flight both ways, and the jet lag of that caleb was up in the middle of the night.
Jess Feldt:2 am for a solid week for like hours just like oh this is no, but this is my body, that my body is telling me that it is time to be awake. And you like can't logically tell an 18 month old no, you see the moon and the stars are out. No, you should be sleeping they have.
Daniella Cornue:No sense, goes back to what I was just saying, like developmentally appropriate, you know things, but, like, kids don't develop a sense of time, the way that we have a sense of time until they're three and four and five years old, that is not something that developmentally happens. So, 100 percent you're like, but it's the middle of the night and they're like I don't know what you're talking about, so it makes it really hard. I'm going to broach this subject early in this podcast, but I think it's it's something that we want to mention. We wanted to talk about was like how do you feel about melatonin on these kinds of situations? Did you guys do it?
Jess Feldt:Um, I think we did that and I don't remember. If we did it then, if we really were aware of it then, when Caleb was that young, I was only pregnant with Jonah, like we didn't have the two of them yet. We are totally team melatonin now. We are 100% team melatonin. They will be getting that. We have a really big trip coming up where we're going and we're leaving the country for seven weeks and you better believe that my kids are going to be getting melatonin on that red eye flight over to Europe.
Daniella Cornue:Well, I just think that, like you know, I think that using it all the time can be a very slippery slope, but when you're traveling and you're switching time zones and you're going from point A to point B, we did Hawaii when Vivie was three and that was an amazing. I highly recommend a trip for that age range. It was fantastic and I think one of the reasons it went really well for us was because we were able to help her pretty immediately get on the right sleep schedule. So she was getting a full night's sleep and was still not. You know, we were still able to put her down for a nap, which is also something that we always prioritize.
Daniella Cornue:Always prioritized when she was napping when we traveled was like, how do we squeeze that in? Because asking her to nap in a stroller was not, Vivie was not a stroller napper, she would not do it, and so, just, we just ended up making sure that that was a break that she got while we were traveling, and prioritizing her sleep was so important to the success of our trips. And so, yeah, we are a melatonin family as well, and she and, honestly, girl, I take the melatonin. Oh yeah, I'm like one, one for you, two for mama, don't go to sleep like yes, because I also have trouble adjusting. That's just like people, right?
Jess Feldt:yeah, but it's also a good point that if you are doing a major time change, to think about that in your travel planning, like hey, maybe the first day you're there don't book eight things back to back because everyone's going to be a little cranky and a little tired, and so really again thinking about not trying to cram so much into those really transitionary periods when people just really and kids especially just need to kind of like get into the routine, slow, roll it a little bit, yeah.
Daniella Cornue:I think that that's huge advice and again going back to developmentally appropriate decisions for your family, like your baby or your toddler, needs slower transitions. They need slower time. I mean, think about how hard it is just to get them to put their shoes on, to get them out of your own house now, at the layers that that is, when you're in a strange place and you're stressed and your husband or your partner is stressed and all of this stuff is going on and you're late for whatever because you've now booked this thing. You haven't given yourself enough space. It's a you're creating a pressure cooker situation. No one is going to have fun in that kind of scenario. So giving yourself extra time for transition not just like on the first day, but just in general like giving yourself enough space to slow down because you aren't just you and an adult anymore. You are you and tiny people that need extra space in order to get their brains in that same space that you're in.
Jess Feldt:Yeah, our most successful trips as a family and especially now as a family of four, because it even felt easier as a family of three because the fourth one added a whole new personality and dynamic to it have been the trips where we have not had a timed schedule and like what I mean by that is like sure, there's things that we know we want to do, but we'll get to them when we get to them, and not having to say like, okay, we're going to be here at this time, we're going to be here at this time, we're going to nap at this time, cause it just never seems to work the way you think it will, even if you were like the most type A Excel spreadsheet person, like it just doesn't seem to ever work the way that you think it will.
Jess Feldt:And so having that extra space and that mindset of we'll get to it, but where do we need to be right now, like what does each person really need right now, and just being really adaptable to that, have been our most successful trips, like the most enjoyable, to be honest, where everyone has just felt like they had a good time.
Daniella Cornue:Yeah, I think that for us having we like to do like a Google map and we try to pinpoint all of the things of what we wanna do, but we don't set an itinerary, if that makes sense. So we know, like, all the things that we're hoping to get to and what we wanna do, and we usually get up in the morning. I'm a big fan of like breakfast at wherever we're staying, so I usually plan to have the meal within wherever we're staying and that's like a very slow period for our family to just sit and have breakfast, have a coffee, talk about like the options for the day and just make it nice and loose, kind of judging the weather and judging your how you all are feeling that day and all of those things. It nice and loose, kind of judging the weather and judging your how you all are feeling that day and all of those things, and then we can kind of make your. We have a loose plan but not like a hard, you know, for people that are playing like.
Daniella Cornue:Again, we're both planners right so to have this like the, the framework, but not like the, the hard and fast, which, again, I think is actually a great way to parent a toddler. Anyways, they say they taught you know a lot of developmental people that focus on this are talk a lot about setting the frame but not and allowing yourself to make or your toddler to make decisions within that safe frame. I think travel is like very much like if you can set that frame and your family can make decisions within that frame. You're think travel is like very much like if you can set that frame and your family can make decisions within that frame.
Jess Feldt:You're gonna have a lot more of a successful trip and making sure that you and your partner are on the same page with that frame.
Daniella Cornue:Oh, yes, I yeah, yes, 100%. Especially, you know I do a lot of the planning personally. Nate is not a planner, he's an executor, excellent executor, and he will be the first to tell you this. But I think sometimes where we've gotten ourselves into hot water is that, like this plan, he doesn't really know what it is or what's going on, and then it feels like chaotic for him how do you keep him in the know?
Daniella Cornue:um, I think at this point we've gotten a lot better. Before it was like fun for him to not be in the know, right, like it was almost like sexy, because it would be like romantic. So when it was just the two of us it would be like well, I've got that, you know. And he's like you're so cute with your plans, and now you know. And then, after I had we had Vivie, it can't. I don't know how to help you with this because you haven't told me anything. And so through therapy and good friends like you, I have learned to communicate with him in advance and really set this stuff up again through, like the Google map that we have all the stuff pinpointed. He can add his own pinpoints and I had mine in and we can talk about it together before we are embarking on this hectic journey that we're about to take. I think that's the big difference there.
Jess Feldt:Well, and that I mean we've talked so much in almost everything that we do about the mental load right of parenting and how much of that the woman tends to take on.
Jess Feldt:I think there's a lot of that having to do with travel and you can see so much of that in like Instagram and memes and things where it's like the mom is like here, let me pack myself, let me pack the kids, let me do the laundry, let me do, let me pack the dog, let me do this.
Jess Feldt:And then dad's like, oh, got my bag ready to go, 100% yes. And I and I think that does create resentment from the outset that like, okay, I'm already stressed out, we're supposed to be on this trip to relax and enjoy as a family. But if I'm already stressed out because I'm the one who's holding all of this and all of the plans and the kids routines and who cares about the melatonin and who packed it in all of those things, I think it just adds from from the moment the trip begins or before the moment the trip begins. And so, to your point, getting into those communication streams ahead of time, having a planning meeting, having a shared calendar, having a shared Google, that's really like nope, here's all the plans, here's what we're doing, here's your responsibility, here's my responsibility. We have talked about it, we know what acceptable looks like from our standpoint right, and let's trust each other and not nag each other and have this communication going forward, because it is a huge, huge load.
Daniella Cornue:Well, and I think if you're, you guys have to be, you know, united front. You really do, because it's hard and again, travel is incredibly rewarding kind of like parenting is incredibly rewarding. It's kind of like parenting it's incredibly rewarding, it's also very difficult. So if you're not embarking on this as like a unit, it's not going to be as successful as it could be.
Jess Feldt:Can I share a funny story, because you said embarking and it really ties into this. Dude, tell me, we took a big family cruise last summer, a big Mediterranean family cruise. We had my mom, we had my sister on it, we had my aunt on the cruise and Jonah could not. It was too much for him, like bad on mom right, bad on dad, like it really was just too much on him.
Jess Feldt:And he is prone to meltdowns when he is overstimulated. And he had one the very first day when we were on the cruise ship and we were in a little tiny cruise stateroom you know how tiny those little tiny rooms are and we had the cruise ship calling us because neighbors were calling to complain that Jonah would not stop crying after two hours, would not stop crying after two hours. And if you want to talk about a set of parents who are in a really cramped space with two kids, one that has been crying for two hours, and the cruise ship now calling to be like, do you need some help? Like talk about some really strong communication between the two of you so you do not bite your head off.
Daniella Cornue:I was going to say something else, really strong, but yeah, the communication should be strong too.
Jess Feldt:We really did when it's like one would have to leave the room and take a walk and then we would come back and then we would tag in because we knew we could not get him to like he had to stop on his own. He is someone who has to like wear himself out, and if you try and intervene it will make it 10 times worse. And it was a very, very tough moment of travel. It was a very, very tough moment of travel, but we had to be on the same page with that.
Daniella Cornue:Yeah, that's really hard. I'm sorry that.
Jess Feldt:I have to do it. I also want to be like cruise ship. What are you trying to do? Do you have a magic off button, like care to share it? What do you want me to do right now?
Daniella Cornue:I think. But I think you know, I think that those are the hard situations. I think you said something that like really landed with me, which was like my child was overstimulated and I think that and sometimes you have to learn this as you go right, you can't look like there's no manual for this kind of stuff, but like knowing your child and kind of choosing things that will be enjoyable for your child. I think is one of the hardest things about travel Because, again, I don't know that there is a guidebook for that kind of thing, right. But I think that, like our favorite trips have been, I try to be really thoughtful about what Vivi likes part of that process you know about excuse me, a part of the, the trip itself.
Daniella Cornue:I think a lot of parents are so used to traveling for them, right, traveling for mom and dad, or mom and mom or whatever that looks like for parent, the parental unit, that they forget that now they have this tiny personality, especially with toddlers, and they do have opinions and they will get overstimulated and they do have all of these things where it's like, have you slowed down in your planning to think about what your child is going to need and enjoy? You know children thrive on routine. You're pulling them out of routine. How can you create that routine? On whatever trip you're on, or some semblance of that? Because the reason that children panic when they are overstimulated is because they feel unsafe. That's what. That's what that is.
Jess Feldt:Or they're just tired. Because Jonah had one in the bathtub last night and let me tell you he was safe in that bathtub at home, in the same bath he does every single time he was just tired.
Daniella Cornue:Well, exactly, though. So you're pulling them out of their routine, and that creates that you know perfect storm as well, where they're very. They're just dysregulated, the same way that we get dysregulated, except we have years and years of practice on how to re-regulate ourselves whereas like a young child, is not going to have that.
Daniella Cornue:So how do you one? Either help them make them feel safe right, because that's like one thing they are. They are feeling so out of routine when they don't know what's going to happen next they feel it makes them panic I don't know how else to tell to share that it makes them feel unsafe. Or two, yes, they are so out of their routine and out of their rhythm that they're exhausted. And so how do you create some of those pockets for that within your travel, so that they have the opportunity to re-regulate themselves?
Jess Feldt:Yeah, well, and something that we're doing now or we're trying for the first time, so that they have the opportunity to re-regulate themselves.
Jess Feldt:Yeah, well, and something that we're doing now or we're trying for the first time this summer that I think came out of a bit of that experience is more of this idea of slow travel which we are both as a family. We are very fortunate because my husband and I both work remote jobs. We can work from anywhere, and so what we're trying this summer is we are going through a program called Boundless Life and they help digital nomad families travel, so we're going to go spend five weeks in Portugal. I think that's amazing, jess, but we stay in one location, in one apartment for five weeks, yeah, so we are getting the opportunity to travel and immerse our kids in a new culture, but we're doing it more at a pace that is beneficial to them and their development, and not moving around, not traveling around trying all different modes of transportation, like we are going to be in the same place, the same walkable community, for five weeks, and I'm really excited. Like I said, we haven't done this before, but I'm really excited that we have the opportunity to try this.
Daniella Cornue:And I think that really resonates with your values as a person too. Like this type of travel, this type of immersion, this type of. I think that what I know of you for this many years like this resonates with who you guys are as a family. To be able to like really get into a community, I think, is really special for you. I'm so excited and jealous. It sounds amazing.
Jess Feldt:Yeah, we are very, very excited, but I guess when we come back we can do that and I can debrief how it all went there. But yeah, it'll be a new experience and it'll. I'm really curious, like I said for my youngest, who's a little bit more sensory overload, who's a little bit more sensitive to travel and being out of routine, like, does this fit his personality a little bit better, where we're all getting an opportunity to really enjoy this, but it matches his pace? Because you have to know your kids. I think it's out of all of this I've seen so many travel influencers too who are just like no, just take your kids on the same trips that you used to go before, they'll adapt. Not like, no, just take your kids on the same trips that you used to go before, they'll adapt.
Jess Feldt:Not all personalities, not all kids. And so I think for me it's you have to know your kids, you have to know yourself why you're doing it. Like really knowing why you're traveling. Is it for a vacation and a break, all-inclusive resort? Like, don't even bother. Is it for the culture? Then think about you know, traveling in this way and potentially bringing some support with you, but like really knowing why you were traveling, what you want to get from it and in your kids, personality and what they'll get.
Daniella Cornue:Yeah, 100, I mean I shared this with you prior to this podcast but, like we have, I have kind of planned several years I, you know, maybe all the way up until she's 18 of all the places that we want to go and why we're going there. You know, based on what I think she's interested in, like this year, you know, and for us it's very much about like education. I'm really interested in linking it back to education. So, like this year, we're headed to Costa Rica and we're going to learn about eco-friendly systems. That's like a big thing. In Costa Rica. They have a very conscious way that they live. That is beneficial, in that way, to the Bahamas. We're going to learn how to sail and then go to the Bahamas. So Vivie gets to have this really hands on experience. At that point she's going to be nearing seven and she's going to learn how we're going to take sailing lessons leading up into this trip. And then we're going to go to the Bahamas and we're going to learn about pirates while we're there, because it's like a big thing and we're going to go sailing and so it's like this very educational experience for each thing.
Daniella Cornue:When Vivie was three, we took her to Hawaii and just get her watching her hike. She was really into climbing at that point, right, I don't know if you remember, she just loved it. We went on, I couldn't believe her. She was like such a pro little hiker and she climbed up those mountains and I was like girl little hiker and she climbed up those mountains and I was like girl, get it. And it was amazing.
Daniella Cornue:Um, and then last year we took her to Puerto Rico. So we're doing like one big trip a year and our family goes on like smaller, like domestic trips and to see family and things like that. But we're doing these kind of one big trips a year. And you know, in Puerto Rico it was all about the cave systems there and she she was very fascinated by I, you know she, she had words, I mean, she's four at that point, right, so she had like a lot, of, a lot of, a lot more perspective, but it was very educational for that. So of course, the like educational experience gets broader the older that she gets, and so I think that that for us, for us as a family, you know Vivie's feeding, Vivie's curiosity, I will say that when she's 18, we're taking her to Paris. It's a mama-daughter trip to Paris to go shopping. I'm hoping she's into that.
Jess Feldt:Maybe that will change, but right now I was going to say you have this all planned out.
Daniella Cornue:Let's see what Vivie has to say about it when she turns 13. I know, right, I think that she's gonna like it when she's 13. We've got a trip planned to Africa to go on a safari, because I think she'll really dig that at that point. So you know I. But I know, I know it sounds a little crazy, but I think that, like, there are certain ages where kids are going to be interested in certain things and then they're going to lose interest. You know, don't take your two-year-old to the Louvre. They're not going to get it. They don't get it. They don't understand the beautiful art, they don't understand the historical significance, they're not looking at the architecture, All these wonderful things that we are getting from that experience your two-year-old is not going to get. And you asking your two-year-old to sit still and be quiet is probably not realistic. It's probably not feasible, right?
Jess Feldt:Well, I mean because I think that's the point Like don't say hey, don't go to Paris, but think about how you are experiencing it and how a two-year-old might experience it right, like very different.
Daniella Cornue:And I, you know, take your two-year-old to a bakery. That would be an amazing experience. Take your two-year-old to have a croissant for the first time and just watch the joy of their first pan au chocolate right. Like that is going to be an amazing. It's so simple, like that's.
Daniella Cornue:I think maybe like the thing that gets lost a lot with traveling with really young children is that their experience is much simpler it is. I don't want to say that it's smaller, I don't think it's smaller. I think it's just simpler and almost more beautiful in that simplicity. I saw something recently that was like I'm gonna mess up the phrasing, but it was something like you know your kids constant. You know there's kids are constantly slowing you down, but maybe that's the point, maybe that's the point. Maybe that's the point. Like it's okay to just be in this moment with your little person that is tasting their first amazing like oh my God, just that would be so lovely. You know, to sit on a cafe and people watch and chase the pigeons and eat your panna cioccolata. That's a Parisian experience for your two-year-old, not the loop, yeah.
Jess Feldt:Okay, so, as we wrap up, what are your top three recommendations for families that might have travel scheduled this summer or that are thinking about? Do I even want to bother traveling? Because will I enjoy it?
Daniella Cornue:I think again, just think about developmentally appropriate things so that you can find the magic of being in the place that you're in right? Because if you're not going to do that, if you're just going to be shuffling from one thing to next, you're not going to. I don't believe that families actually enjoy themselves at that point. So finding developmentally appropriate things, I think, is really important. I think that mealtime is it can always be a hot point for families. You know you're in a strange place. Kids are picky eaters, as it is especially US kids like it's just a thing, and so I always like to plan. This can be a thing that like it can be a tantrum and a meltdown in a fancy restaurant, or it can be a really chill, relaxing experience. I always try to pack safe foods, whatever that, or find safe foods in whatever place we are in. Find safe menu foods you know for Vivi, like roasted chicken, french french fries, buttered pasta. This is not the time for you to be creating like an experience in which food becomes a battle. Like that's a great thing to try at home if you want to do that, leading into your trip so that it feels less scary in whatever place you're in. That I think, think is a great idea. But don't make the first time that they're trying sushi in Japan. Be that thing right, because then it becomes a battle. This is not battle time, so just think about that when you're doing stuff.
Daniella Cornue:And I think, lastly, sleep is golden. Nobody is going to be doing anything if they are overly tired. So prioritize a sleep plan, prioritize that transition, whatever that looks like for you. Again, I'm a melatonin fan, of helping people get back on a rhythm. When Vivie was little, I did prioritize her nap. I made sure that she had space. I was like everybody can just take a breath. There is nothing so important that she cannot take an hour and a half nap in an actual place. And that was more important to me than anything else, because a screaming toddler at four o'clock with whatever activity I had planned was not going to fly for me. It's not going to be fun. So that's my three things Developmentally appropriate. Don't make meal time a battle and prioritize sleep over anything.
Jess Feldt:I will ditto all of those and I will add always have a plan B, because if you have something planned and for some reason, something goes wrong you miss transportation, a kid has a meltdown, something happens always have a plan B. Now here's a recommendation for my plan b, which is my second tip google all the playgrounds where you are going and save them on your google. Yes, like this has actually happened so many times, even when we didn't have wi-fi, because we don't always get internet when we travel internationally. But you can download a google map in all of your places and the gps will still track where you are. And if something goes wrong I know where almost every playground is just to like, go run, like go run, I don't care. Like, go do what you need to do.
Jess Feldt:We all need a little bit of a rest. So Google and save those playgrounds wherever you are going, and I think my last one, which we talked about a little bit already but just communicate with your partner about a plan, about how you're going to navigate all this. And the load is not all on you, because if you are more stressed out when you get back, because you have been the cruise director, you've been the packer. You've been the tantrum calmer. You've been the midnight wake up because they're in a strange bed. Person like you have had no rest. So make sure that you have a really, really strong plan and communication with your partner I love that.
Daniella Cornue:I think we're both google maps users. Like that sounds like a big one. Oh, I have like all my google maps saved and like all yeah like all of the flags. I can always tell where I've been when I go back in because, look, it's still all there with all the different things. So I love that that. I think it's super smart.
Jess Feldt:All right. So, as we wrap up, this is the tightrope balancing career, motherhood and everything in between. Dani, what's your everything in between?
Daniella Cornue:I think my everything in between right now is actually probably planning our next trip, right, so we are planning our trip to Costa Rica right now. Nate's parents are coming with us on this trip, which I'm really excited about to share that with them. You have babysitters, I mean, yeah, yes, yes, we do, but that's not the only reason we're excited.
Jess Feldt:We're just genuinely excited to share it with them. It's going to be so fun. We went to Costa Rica on our honeymoon and so to get to go back, share with nate's parents, share it with vivi, that's going to be really special for us. I'm really looking forward to that. I think my in between right now is also getting ready for our trip, um, but like everything that needs to happen before we leave our house for two months. So I'm actually kind of excited, like it's. It's like the planning, but it's also just like, oh, what are we going to do with this? What are we going to do? It's exciting, I don't know. It's just exciting. We've been planning this trip for a year and a half. Like when you've had something planned for a year and a half and all of a sudden, you're two weeks away.
Daniella Cornue:It's like, oh this out too, because I know that there are probably you know there's so many different places that you can get travel information now, like what to pack and what to. You know, this is only a 40 minute podcast typically, so it's a lot to try to fit in, so we want to throw out one of. She used to be a member at Le Village and you let me know that the reason and she's a good mind.
Jess Feldt:Yeah, she's a good kind of line because we used to work together.
Daniella Cornue:We recommend that you I just know her, Susie, you know her, you know more personally.
Jess Feldt:So Susie Chau, sure Instagram, her company is Carpe Diem Travel and she is like half travel agent, half like travel coach for families who want to take longer term sabbaticals and allow their kids to enjoy kind of that slow travel that I was talking about and really being able to appreciate that. And so look up Susie Chow and Carpe Diem Traveler. We can put it in show notes, but she is wonderful and such a great resource and I think she actually has a new resource that I grabbed and took advantage, which is like the top 100 places to travel with your kids and love that. And I think, Dani, like she did a lot with what you were talking about, trying to map it a bit to like developmentally appropriate.
Daniella Cornue:Yeah.
Jess Feldt:I love that she also she has a four-year-old that they recently took to Paris, and so, yeah, she's a fabulous resource.
Daniella Cornue:I think that's fantastic and, you know, looking up those resources for again, yeah, like travel hacks, things to pack, I'm a big like you got to be prepared. If you're going to be traveling with babies and toddlers, you need to be prepared. You know, don't try to give your two year old crayons at the restaurant because they're not going to play with that. It's not going to be a thing that they're doing. They can't eat them. That would be. That would be that. But make sure you have games and things packed for them, and so I will have things like that on our page as well, like developmentally appropriate games and things that are easy to stuff in your bag. And then we'll link over to Susie for some of the other recommended.
Daniella Cornue:You know, carriers and strollers and equipment and all of that is a part of travel. Obviously, there's lots of people, plans and all of that. There's so many pieces. Obviously, there's lots of people, plans and all of that. There's so many pieces of this. So hopefully, this is like a good. If you like to tunnel, you want to go on a internet tunnel. This will hopefully be helpful for that. But thank you for starting your journey with us. Join us next time as we talk about evaluating if your current workplace is your forever workplace or it's time to move on.
Jess Feldt:And we talk so much throughout a lot of our episodes this is a theme that gets woven throughout is the importance of priorities and values and how, when you become a mother, all of a sudden some of those values or those priorities shift and whereas maybe before your value or your priority would have been like where can I have the most career advancements? You know, maybe right now your priority is a little bit more. What's the stability? Can I plan out my summer vacations? Can I be a little bit more flexible with daycare pickups? And it can really create this internal fight.
Daniella Cornue:That's next time, so until then, just put one foot in front of the other. Thanks, guys.
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