Ep 13 - Field Trip - A day at an Independent Assisted Living Home

Summary
In EP13, I shared my experiences as a weekly volunteer visiting independent assisted living homes, focusing on the importance of social connections for residents. I shared 3 stories: Resident or not - Peter, Too young to be there - Michelle, Goodbye - Owen.  This short field trip episode will give you an unseen side of independent living homes and the personal story of the impact of dementia.
 
Keywords
independent assisted living, social connections, dementia, care homes, personal stories

Chapters
01:19 Introduction & Welcome
03:26 Understanding Care Homes vs. Independent Assisted Living
04:27 Loneliness= Smoking 15 Cigarette a day 
05:06 First Story: Resident or not - Peter
06:41 Second Story: Too young to be there - Michelle
08:22 Last Story: Goodbye - Owen
09:06  Summary: Celebrating Relationships at my Independent Living Care Home 

Transcript

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This week, I am taking you guys to a field trip to the independent living home.

That I visit every Friday.

Our listener, they share with me that to them, independent living home is something that they haven't been to and don't really know what about.

So that's why I'm creating this field trip to share with you guys.

Let me share with you the story of how I end up visiting this independent living home.

I volunteer for the Alzheimer's Society to visit a client every week to go for a walk, to go for a tea, or sometime go to a concert with them.

Kind of as a scientist friend.

And I had multiple clients, and this is my eighth year with them, and this is my third client.

Unfortunately, the previous two clients all passed away, so I am having my third now.

What different this time is that he actually lived in the independent home, which means I get to meet a lot of other older adults that live in the independent home, which is quite interesting for me, because I went from being one older person's friend to becoming quite a lot of different older person's friends.

I was able to record three of them.

Why did they come to live here?

And what was the story?

And without further adieu, let's listen to this short episode of Field Trip to an Independent Home in Battersea, London.

I am right now at the Independent Living Home in Battersea.

Your first question is...

You asked, what is the difference between care home and assisted living, which sometimes we call it independent living care home?

The difference is, care home are generally for people who cannot fully or partially look after themselves anymore.

Therefore, around-the-clock care attention may be required, even the 24-7 watchful eye by staff to ensure a good quality of life.

On the other hand, assisted living, or I like to call it independent living home, is for people who still have ability to look after themselves, but they need some sort of care and support, so that they can continue to manage their own life with a support system behind them, just in case.

Also, it will create a social aspect of care home to their door.

A lot of the people who live in independent living home, it's because they otherwise will most likely live by themselves at home.

As I've been doing this work, living alone sometime when you're older, loneliness is as bad for you as smoking 15 cigarettes per day.

We as social being, as human, and most people, we need community or with a group of people in order to maintain our mental and physical well-being.

First story that I want to share with you guys is Peter.

Came across Peter a few times before I start talking to him.

I will come across to the entrance of the home, and Peter will be walking very slowly on the other side.

And he always carry a Tesco bag, always with a smile.

For the first few times, we never really talk, but we exchange smile.

And finally, after about a few weeks later, I decided to talk to him.

I said to him, hello, how are you?

And with my surprise, he has a very strong, very young voice.

And I thought he lives there.

So I said, I come to hear Owen, who is my client.

And I said to him, do you live here as well?

To my surprise, he actually doesn't live there.

And here is his story.

I came here every Tuesday and Friday to visit my son.

I am 80 years old, and my son is only 45.

My story is my son was a veteran in the Navy.

He had an accident and became parallel, and lost his ability to talk.

I cannot take care of him daily, so he is now living in this housing.

My hope is that he will talk to other residents one day.

As a father, I wish my son was not here, but no matter how old he is, I will come visit him until the day I am not around.

The second story I want to share with you is, with Michelle.

I have seen Michelle maybe 10 to 15 times, and I made an assumption too when I first met her.

In my mind, I thought this lady looks very young to be living here, and she's very different from what I assume will be people who live in an independent care home.

And often, she will go to the same cafe as Owen and I.

Finally, one day, she actually came up to us and started a conversation, and Owen loved to talk to a lady.

So I got to hear her story, and this is what she said to us, why she become a resident in this independent living home.

My mom used to live here, and I came to visit her every day for 25 years.

I am 67 now, and when she passed away five years ago, I realized suddenly that I am an older lady as well.

The director said that I can take my mom's room if I want to, and I was living alone anyway.

Because I used to come visit my mom every day before, I know most of the residents already.

Living here is better than living alone in my flat.

Every day, I will go to the same cafe, to read newspaper, and for a walk.

I like it here because I have a community, and I have my freedom to go out anytime and anywhere I want.

Last but not least is Owen's story.

How did he come upon to live in this independent housing?

I came here because I was diagnosed with dementia two years ago.

I am 67 and sold my home.

I do miss my home, but it feels better to live with other people.

I was living alone for 30 years.

I got to go to the Royal Albert Hall to watch a concert.

We went to the London Zoo.

I also got to go to the Summer in Battersea Park concert.

We do movie every Thursday and fish and chip every Friday.

Don't tell others.

The fish and chips are not that great.

I am not sure what will happen with my dementia, but I feel safe here.

Here is a wrap to our field trip episode to the independent living home.

I hope you enjoy this three short story.

Finally, there are two main reasons that I record this episode.

First, I wanted to share that even I go visit and see in the independent house very often, I still have different assumption about what would it's like to be.

So, I wanted to use this episode to share the different types of people living in the independent housing and at least trigger your interest to understand what is it like to live there.

Second reason that I decided to record this field trip podcast is they volunteer.

You do get close with people who you go visit, especially once a week.

At this point, Owen's Alzheimer's has gotten worse.

He has fall many times in the past couple of months and has been having different behavior that push other people away from his life.

Because of his deterioration in his dementia, I will no longer be visiting him because it is not very safe for me to take him out.

Because of his constant fall, which I will not be able to carry him if he does fall, this episode is a way of me mourning our relationship.

Although I can no longer see him, I wish him the best and how this relationship impact on how I feel and to celebrate the end of this relationship with Owen.

I hope in this short episode of Field Trip to the Independent Home Living, I share with you a sight of what is it like to live there, what kind of people live there, and to share with you a more personal sight of the Beyondhood Podcast.

Thank you.

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