Jennifer's Body

Did this movie turn Ronnie straight? Not quite but Megan Fox gave it her all. This week we attempt to answer the question, “What does a bisexual demon possessed cannibal wear to prom?” Turns out a lot of blood and an orchid corsage. Can her “ugly” (see glasses plus a ponytail) best friend save her while also scissoring in mid-air after Tarzan-ing through a window? Yep. All this and lawn horseies, a swirling butthole vortex, “Don’t Go Chasing Waterfalls,” Republican Chris Pratt, Adam Brody in JD Vance’s eyeliner, Low vs Cold Shoulder, the Dodge ‘89 Rapist, Costco rotisserie chicken, an unexplained hook and neck scars, lazy eyes, Snow White murder animals, the great Amy Sedaris, night terrors, more Rocky Horror Picture Show, four minutes, the occult section of school libraries, Twin Peaks, the Cheesecake Factory, adult diapers, Chekov’s pepper spray and devil knife, criss-cross apple sauce, and yearning for part 2.

 Exit Ticket: What do you do when one on of your students is accused of murdering her step mom? A Reddit user wants to know. It’s quite the whiplash from the subject covered today, but Ronnie and Justin offer some advice.