Growing Through Volunteering

In this episode, I’ll share how a simple interest sparked an unforgettable opportunity for my family to volunteer together. It’s a story of stepping outside my comfort zone, embracing new challenges, and discovering the joy of learning and growing alongside my only child. Tune in to hear how this experience deepened our bond and opened the door to meaningful connections and lessons we’ll carry for a lifetime. 

Transcript

SPEAKER_00: 0:03

Hi there and welcome to the Family of One Child podcast. I'm Four Comment, a wife, a part-time working mom, and a full-time believer in making the most of every joyful and sometimes busy moment of raising an only child. If you're ready for real stories, plenty of laughter and parenting tips, you're in the right place. So let's dive into this adventure together. So thank you for tuning in to the Family of One Child podcast. I am so happy. So today we are going to talk about the volunteering together as a family. And I wanted to bring that topic up, is because one, my child is into horse riding. You'll be amazed when you volunteer and what it leads to. And so when my child um she was two, two and a half, now she's seven, going on eight in a few months. She we would go to the park, our local park, and as you do, you know, you're walking around, you're exploring with your child, just getting outsized because you need to breathe, stretch out those arms and legs and get going. And there was a farm close by this park, and on this farm they had horses, and we would walk by, you know, where this, you know, a lot of these horses were, and as we got to walk past, you know, we'll because at that time, honestly, moms, you know, when your child is interested in something, and you're like, you know, that's really not my jam, or yeah, that's nice to look at, but I don't want to get any closer. That was like me and horses at that time. I I enjoyed, you know, looking at horses, but me wanting to ride a horse or touch a horse, or you know, I just wasn't that um confident that's a good word to use, confident, but Olivia she saw these beautiful animals as majestic, and she just navigated to these horses, and so she wanted to get close to them, and of course, you know, they're behind a fence, and she just wanted to touch them. And I'm like, Well, a you don't go on to other another person's property without their permission, and B, we're just gonna look with our eyes, you know, and so eventually as we're going by, she was like, Mom, mommy, and then I I told my husband we walked by a lot, and then we would go to him, and he's like, Yeah, we can go up to the gate close enough where you can pet if they come close, and what do you know? You know, eventually a horse will come up just close enough so you can pat them, but you know, there's electric fence, so you don't want to get too close, and that's another story altogether about electric fence. And so here's the thing I did research as you do because you're like, hmm, my curiosity is who owns this? You know, who owns this part, this build um the farm. This and I wonder if there is something that maybe they do lessons. Well, she was two and a half at that time, or maybe I could volunteer, or you know, my questions about maybe we could if they had group lessons or even you know local events. So that's the thing about when you are exploring your local town, and maybe there's an interest your child has interests. I don't know, it could be dancing, it could be skateboarding, it could be arts and crafts, it could be I don't know, pottery, it could be like, huh, my child is looking at um I don't know, smelling the flowers in someone's they always like to go to this particular shop, just it would depending, you know, there's for me, there's always like I'm not saying away, but there's all you know, people I find it in my local community, if you introduce yourself, and there's a way to introduce yourself, and you let them know that your child or you know, your family would like to learn about if there's an opportunity for you, your family to come and learn about their business, but also if you want a hands-on experience, I we looked at volunteering for me because at that time I was a full-time stay-at-home mom, so I asked myself, I connected with the owner of the horse riding stable, and you know, she had a volunteer sign-up sheet. Now I did not know anything about horses, and I'm still learning. Like me and horses, I thought I watched quite a few westerns, and back in the day, Dallas TV, TV show. I mean, I I thought horses always pooped in one part of the paddock, and they did everything you said. Yeah, if you own a horse, you're probably laughing, like what? So, yeah, and you know, on the TV shows, it's all lies, they don't tell you what really happens. Horses are a lot of work. Now I'm coming from a person who did not know remember anything about horses, and so volunteering I chose wisely when I signed up. I said, Um, I can clean, I can clean windows, I can scrub the floors, I can clean the bathrooms, and uh I can clean the walls. I mean, I'll do all the cleaning, but I will not go near any of the horses. And so she was really kind. She was like, sure, I'd love for you to come and clean the walls in the office, you know, sweep the floors, clean the stables, and dust them. And so that led to um when Olivia and I would go to the local park and we would go to the stables, because it wasn't that far. We would I would volunteer for about an hour and a half. So we were there during the week, probably like three or four days a week, and the owner always had like one horse in the riding arena, and she would not always, but in the riding arena, the horses were gated, so you could if it was like a rainy day, you know, there was always a horse, but it was gated, so you could go in the arena but go on the other side of the fence, and so Olivia would still be able to touch the horse, or um you know, we were in the in the arena and the horses were outside, they could come right up to the doors, and that was such like a wonderful time for her because she would cry because she she cried every time we left because she didn't want to leave, or she started crying because she wanted to get closer to the horse, and I was like, No way, Jose, there's no way, mama. I mean, I can hold you right up to the door, like I would lift her up and she would pat, and sometimes every now and then there was like a tiny pony in with a um because it needed I don't know, maybe it was um who knows. It was just separated from the herd, so two little ponies, and they'll be fenced in, and she would love that, she would just go right up, put her hand in, and she was always safe, you know. They didn't bite her, and that was wonderful. The horses knew, and so I would clean, and she would be with me, and so in the weekends I started cleaning again, like I cleaned in the weekday, and then I'll go with me and my husband to volunteer, and he would be with Olivia. He was more confident with the horses, so he would go out in the paddock with her, and he would hold her, and then um the horses came up to you know, he's holding her, and you know, they're really having a wonderful time, and I'm cleaning their office, you know, the stores, the stables. I tell you what, it was awesome, and so and then she got some horse toys for free because the owner said, Oh, if you like a horse toy, you know, this one of the sections is for free. I think she sells for free. No, I don't think we took in here. Every now and then she said there's a horse. And so, well, I think Olivia touched she had toys, lots of horse toys, and one of them. I think Olivia broke a bike, so she goes, Oh no, you can have that, it's just you know, I don't mind kids, you know. So that was fine. But she was really kind, and then we learned about eventually after a while cleaning, and then we worked our way up to cleaning the saddles, so we got to learn about you know the different parts of the saddle. I just know enough about the saddle, what part you set your bottom on, and so that is okay, but when you volunteer, you know, you find a because it's free, right? So if you're interested in something and you're I mean your child or you're interested, and you like I don't want to pay for horse riding lessons at the time because I I didn't know enough, honestly. You didn't know what you didn't know, but one other thing, I wanted to do something together as a family that we give back to the community, and also we can explore more in this new adventure in that that way because Olivia's so small, and in our local area at that time, horse riding lessons were at three years old, it was not at two and a half. Maybe in your local area, like if you're curious about your child taking horse riding lessons, or maybe it's different, but that's another thing altogether. And so, um, one thing about when I started volunteering, you know, my husband, his grandparents, they loved horses, they grew up. His mom had a horse, his grandma had a horse, my side of the family. We did not have horses once again, and so this was all new. And so his grandmother would come with us when she was available during the weekend, and she would have my child with um a hubby, and they would just go out in the paddock once again, and they loved it, and you know, we did get permission from the owner, it's always good too, you know. And she's like, Oh, sure, that is fine, you can go out there, and so my daughter absolutely loved that, you know, she got more hands-on, and then obviously, now that I'm having the grandparents come, more people volunteering and taking care, you know, of the stables and contributing to this business because this business, you know, she was giving back to the community as well, so it was a really good partnership. And honestly, when you're volunteering, you know, you're building friends. So I did get to meet um some other people who volunteer, and at that time it was a majority of um students who would come in and they would bring their families, and I got to meet some people, some adults who are volunteering because they didn't have a horse, but they wanted to be around horses, and that's what I mean. It's always I don't know, there might be something that you're thinking that your child is really interested in, and so it could be like once again, you know, my child is interested in doing I'll pick an easy one, and I might say easy, but arts and crafts, but there's a painting class, but I don't want to have all the painting things at my house. You know, I would go and ask your local if you have so in our local community, we have a um uh a gr um this lady and she has art classes for homeschoolers, and so maybe you could go and volunteer and help clean up, and you might get a discount, or you know, you could be participate in some way that adds value to that business. So for us, it was you know, Olivia just her curiosity and just wanting to be around these horses, and then me recognizing it and being more aware of what that need was, and then I like okay, then well, how what can I do so we can do something together? And then my husband joining in on the weekdays and the weekends, because he works full-time, and then bringing my grandparents, so it ended up being a family event, and so that led to us I think about a year and a half, and so as you know, we're there all the time cleaning, or maybe it was a year. I started to realize now she really wants to get on the horse, like she is wanting to, she doesn't want to just look at the horse, she wants to get on the horse. Oh my goodness, and so you know how it was so funny because you know, we have local we have quite a few festivals, and we're really blessed where we live, and so there'll be like an event where you'll see you can ride a horse or a pony for five dollars, and oh my goodness, it'll be like ride for one minute and pay five dollars. Ride for one minute, you know, one minute, it'd be nice if you rode five minutes and they had the horse, and then they'll have a leading person leading the horse, and you just go around a small circle. I told my husband, we I think we've just paid for a horse, like like we were paying so much for these little experiences because you know we couldn't just buy one or two tickets because I you know she loved them so much. I decided if I keep paying for these, you know, events, like when we would go to festivals and she'll say, horse, horse, I'll be like, Oh my goodness. We would try to avoid it, and like you could have said, Really, guys, you could just say no. Yeah, but you know, uh, we're still learning with it, and we didn't want to say no to her. And so eventually, well, actually, it was about six months into this cleaning thing, I realized she wants to get on a horse. Not yeah, here I go for one and a half year, maybe because I stayed there to clean. Yeah, I was still cleaning for about a year, but six months of volunteering there, I realized, oh, I better get onto it and look for something. Because, you know, participating in these local events, um, and going to these horse festivals where people would have ride my horse a pony for like one minute for five dollars is ridiculous. Oh my goodness. And so I found um a wonderful lady who gave her um like a great foundation of riding, and she so Olivia actually started riding uh very young, maybe two and a half, three, and so it was about 30 minutes, and that's what I meant. I had to do a lot of ringing because majority of the horse trainers in my local area all said at three years old, like there was the age that they would start you could have your child, but Olivia wasn't three then, and so I found I just caught a lot of trainers around my area, then a word of mouth as well, and I was like looking on Facebook, and I found this wonderful lady, and it was like 30 minutes, but 15 minutes was foundation of and she I don't know, maybe you're listening and like you're a horse person, and you're like, Oh, yeah, that's of course you would do that, and I didn't know, like she got a bean, you know, wood on the floor, and she'll say, Okay, I want your daughter just to walk across it, and like she would get a barrel, and she'll have it on its on the ground, and Olivia would sit on it and straddle, and she would just rock it, and so she gave it all these balance exercises that was appropriate for her age, and I was like, huh? I thought we were gonna get on the horse. She goes, No, because you need to learn like your balance and walking and also part of the horse first, and so and then we would do the last 15 minutes, 10 to 15 minutes of riding, and that way, and we also learnt about safety, and I thought, oh my goodness, that is so true. Now, maybe you're your trainer, or maybe your mama, you do things differently, but for me, when I started with Olivia, it for us it was good because it was where I was at, and honestly, God knew like this mama is much is much for her than for my daughter, Olivia, because one, I was so afraid of horses, and I didn't tell the train at the time, but she asked me um because she had to interview us, and she was like, you know, I need to interview as well because when you are with you know your child, and I need you to stay in here and be with her, be present, like you're confident, and I was like, Yep, yep, yep, yep, yep. But deep down, I was like, oh my goodness, just be brave. And so yeah, I need to just continue to courage you as well that if you are participating in activity and it's out of your comfort zone, oh I understand, like I totally, I totally understand, I get that. So of course, during the interview, when the first trainer, um, she was like, Oh, so you know, I need you to be present, and she explained the reason why, and just be confident, and you're okay, ride horses. And I'm like, Yeah, of course, yes, yeah, huh? And I'm like, hello, my heart is beating so fast, but and now I know that horses can, you know, they're so sensitive and they can sense your heartbeat. Oh, Jesus, I thank you that he was with me. But yes, when I was Olivia and she was doing her horse lessons during those first those first uh six months to a year, um, when we were by ourselves at that time, because um, and even now then my husband would come because I I can't remember what day we had it on, but I told myself I can do it, I can do it for her because she's learning, and this is something that I can see she's really loving it, and she's she wants to learn more, so I just need to you know get it together in a way that's comfortable for me, just keep showing up and just keep doing it. I mean, honestly, eventually I did have a meltdown. I think it was like a year and a half later, I told the trainer, and I was like, There were certain things she wanted me to do, just me and the horse, and I was like, I can't do it. She was like, What all this time? I thought you were okay. I was like, No, I am so scared of the horse. Well, at that time, I mean, the horses I look after now are fine, but I totally started crying. She goes, I had no idea that you felt this way. And I said, Well, I it's been a long time, you know. I've worked at it, I've worked, you know, getting over my fear out of my comfort zone. So for those who are going through like something, and you you're like saying for yourself, because for example, some people do not like speaking in front of large crowds, or maybe you don't like to maybe even speak in front of two or three people in public, or even whatever the group is. I understand. I mean, it took me uh maybe three, five, four years to be at a place to be around these horses now where I am am I like a hundred percent comfortable? I know I am like 99, I'm a lot more better with these horses, and I because I had built a relationship with these particular horses and been consistent with them, we see them like five days a week, and you know, I speak to them. I've just I have grown, but uh every day in the beginning was like like your stomach is going to explode or you're gonna vomit, and I'm like, oh my goodness, this is for my child. But you know, my husband he didn't have a problem about with these horses because hey, he loves horses, he loves animals. I call him like he's the animal whisper, yeah. He's really good with animals, but I am too. I just had to be me in this new area. So once again, there might be something that your child loves to do, could be like may not be horse riding, maybe it's um uh canoeing or I don't know, or motorbike racing, or gymnastics, or running. I don't know, there might be something, or they may like to sing or dance, and they don't have a dance partner, so you are the one, mama, that this typically you wouldn't dance in front of people, but in the class, you know they need a partner, so you're it, so it's out of your comfort zone. Well, I'm just letting you know it took me a year, it took me quite a few years, but if you keep going over time, the relationship that you're building with your child, and you're both growing and learning together, that's the beauty because they see you out of your comfort zone. And so the conversation, and depending on how old Olivia was young, so I couldn't I couldn't tell her, Mama is freaking out. I mean, I said mama just needs some time. Hold on, mommy will be there. So you just frame it in a in a way that your child can understand is and it's appropriate for them. Uh so I wanted to, but I I mean I kind of stopped it and said, No, we're not doing horse riding. But I is it's just a look, and you know, when you see your child's eye, and you're like, you know, your child and you and when and when they're in their like enjoyment as a parent, you're like, this is it, and then like the grandparents. I said, Is it just a thing? Like she'll get over it, and they're like, No, this is her thing, and I said that for like the last how old is she? It's two, three, four, five, six. I've said it for the last five years, it's just a thing, but I know in my heart, this is her thing, and now it's become our family thing, and we have I tell you, uh do I say do I love horses? Um, I've appreciated it more, it has given me so much in return, so many learning, uh, character building moments, and as a family, my husband and I and my daughter horses has been our connection. I mean, we had a connection before, but something about these horses has helped us bond and her and her father, her and her dad, and their relationship because they do a lot together the way they talk together, they're like best buddies, which is great. So, maybe the reason why I'm telling you about want to share this episode through volunteering because there might be something once again that your child wants to explore, and you don't always have to pay for that experience. I would just recommend instead of if you want to, a creative way is look at volunteering, and you never know that the volunteering will give you time to explore a bit more, uh, giving you an opportunity, maybe the behind the scenes, and one way with us volunteering is it gave us the pace of wanting to learn from the different people who have horses, uh, because you know, horse people they all do things differently, and so for us, it gave us the opportunity to learn at the pace that we that suited our family, and so volunteering for you when you're volunteering and finding that business or that company or that place or that organization, it gives you the opportunity to ask questions, and you know, people are so thankful that you are giving your time, so you know, in general, people love to share what they they know about, and that's free information, and that way you you know you can decide if it's something you're gonna pursue more, or maybe it's something else that that you want to, you know, it's the thing that leads to the next thing. I don't know, but I just want to let you know in your local community. I hope there is something that you can explore together as a family, or maybe it's more you, you have an interest, and your child's like eh, but you never know, you know. You say, Well, and if they want you to and if you want them to join you, then maybe there's a creative way you can include them in, unless you don't want them to be involved because you're like uh they're at an age they can you know you can leave them at home. But for me, Olivia's she knows she's only eight, or she's she's gonna be eight in a few months, so now she comes with me everywhere I go, and that's another story together. She's like, mom. I'm like, hey, I'm awesome, you're welcome. You can join me right now. So, mom, thank you for listening. And I want to tell you, you are amazing, and you are the best mom for your child, you are the best wife for your family. So, I want you to give yourself a high five, give yourself a hug. Absolutely, you know, love who you are, what a wonderful person. You are a gift to the community, you are a gift to the family. I tell my family, you're welcome. I think like that. Is that Moana song? You're welcome. That should be my introduction. You are, you are doing the best you can with the time that's given. You're sharing your love, your wisdom, and most of all, you know, you have so much to give. So, thank you for listening to the family of one family of one podcast with four comment. Yes, that's me. I appreciate you so much. So, you take care of yourself and make sure you know, as you listen to this, give yourself a 20 second hug because you are absolutely wonderful, okay? So do something nice for yourself, whatever that is, take time for you. God bless you, and see you in the next episode. Bye.