From Toddler to Big Kid

Today, I’m sharing how activities with Olivia have changed from when she was a toddler to now. I’ll talk about the joys of her growing independence, like putting on her own winter clothes, and reflect on my transition from being a full-time stay-at-home mum to working part-time. If you’ve experienced the shifts that come with parenting as your child grows, this episode is for you. Let’s talk about the small milestones that mean so much!

Transcript

SPEAKER_00: 0:03

Hi there and welcome to the Family of One Child podcast. I'm Four Comment, a wife, a part-time working mom, and a full-time believer in making the most of every joyful and sometimes busy moments of raising an only child. If you're ready for real stories, plenty of laughter and parenting tips, you're in the right place. So let's dive into this adventure together. Hi, and welcome back to the podcast Family of One. And yes, this is for your friend, the number four. Or for four, that is my full name, but I go by four. So today I wanted to talk about activities, energy. You know, you want to sleep, and you're wondering, is my child able to brush their own teeth? Can they put their own gloves on when they go when they go outside or zip up their jacket or get their own lunch? And I'm telling you, at eight years old, well, she's gonna be eight next month. Yes, it happens. If you had asked me when she was a toddler, during that toddler stage when I was a full-time stay-at-home mum, I was like, gee, please put your jacket on, take your jacket off, put your gloves on, take your gloves off. And telling you, when it snows where I live, and you're putting your gloves on, and you're helping your toddler put their little fingers in. I tell you what, it was a struggle. Now, maybe just maybe you had an awesome way of helping your child put their their fingers into their gloves. Now, maybe you had mittens, you know, all four fingers go in one part, and you have your thumb sticking out. I tell you, and that would be lovely, but then my child wants all her fingers and she wants to hold the object, and she wanted to move all her little fingers, so she didn't really like gloves all the time, you know, the mittens, and finding the right one. So you have sometimes gloves that are great, but they're too thick, or they just slip off, or they're great, but then they get wet, depending on how long they've been out in the snow. And I tell you what, I came up with so many ideas. I would tell my husband, I'm gonna create just a way for the next mom, which she will not have to struggle. Well, fan well, friends, I did not come up with an idea. I do have an idea in my mind, but I really did nothing about it. But at eight years old, I can tell you she can put her own gloves on, which is amazing. And so, you know, when I think about those moments when she was a lot younger in the toddler stage, when I had to do everything, brushing her teeth, getting her clothes ready, dressing her, feeding her, and doing all of that. I and organizing her activities and then getting myself ready, I'm like, and then I would hear my friends who had siblings, and sometimes my friends, their child, they had an older sibling for, you know, the other child, and it would just it was just nice to see the older sibling help out that younger younger sibling. So depending on where we went, you know, who we were visiting, it was nice to have the other child just help Olivia. Even when I had older friend when I had friends and they had an only child, but their child, their child was an only child too, but it was just so nice to have another child who was a few years older than Olivia just help her, show her around how to do activities and just play with her. And what was wonderful, I noticed for that older child, you know, for that child that was also an only child, it was like Olivia was a you know a little cousin to them or a little sibling to them for that moment, that's how they were described, and they love to show Olivia things as well. So that's what I mean, moms. If you're listening and you're at that stage where your child is a toddler, we understand it does get better. And if you're a full-time stay-at-home mama, and you're like, Oh my goodness, and maybe you enjoy those type of things, like you're like, no, this area of my life is not a struggle. Maybe there's something else, but this is not it. Then I say awesome to you. But every now and then I was like, Oh, putting gloves on, why couldn't it be so easy? And then somehow I noticed because she started writing at two and a half, right? So during the winter she would need writing gloves just to put on her fingers when the arena got really cold, and so finding matching gloves, it would be like trying to find socks. Where did those gloves go? Uh, we started with two, and they're both blue, and now one's pink, and the other one is got wipe with pogodots. How is that even possible? And in the end, you just make good with what you got. I was like, you know what, we are not gonna be matchy matchy, and I am okay with that. And this is another thing I noticed as well. When I talked to Olivia when she was a baby and told Lina, I didn't have that tone of okay, darling, go and get, you're so cute. Oh, wonderful. This is a banana or an apple. Or does mommy want you? Yeah, that one was not me. No, maybe you're listening, and that is how you communicate with your child, and that is good for you because that works for you. But me, I did not talk to Olivia like that. I I use the same frequency of tone as if I would be talking to everyday adult, everyday like a child. I mean, just in general, and maybe like you'll see me if I see a baby and it's my friend's child, or someone else, oh you're so cute. But with my own child, I'd be like, Oh, you're so cute, thank you. But I wouldn't say my tone is like, oh, you're so cute. That's uh, oh, what are you gonna do? Oh, yeah, no, there was no me. And the reason why I'm saying this is because maybe the way you talk to your child, it brings you joy in the way you talk to them, and so I'm just saying, do what brings joy to you when you are spending time with your child, your only child, because I notice when I how I parent and how I organize my activities compared to my other friends who had an only child, they were very different, even though we're maybe in a similar age. Like I had a friend, and the way they set up their house at their backyard, they had a fence, right? Their backyard, and they had animals on their property, so their child could go out there, take care of the animals on their own because they taught them at a very young age to what it looked like taking care of the animals. What do you do when you go outside by yourself? And that was so helpful to the mom, giving her space and her daughter space and able to discover things. I mean, her mom, she's a hands-on mum, but I was like, huh, I want a fence because I am tired of going out there. Now we don't have a fence in our backyard. Now, maybe you have you don't have a fence, but the way your property is, it is okay for your child to go out. But where I live, it's it wouldn't be it would not be ideal because we do have dogs. Um, and not all the dogs are kind in our neighborhood, and some of them honestly, um I don't know, every now and then you you know, I just it's kind of busy and it wouldn't be ideal all the time. Um, I'm generally out there with Olivia just to make sure, you know, but uh getting a fence, I notice my friends who have a fence and they have an only child in our local area, they say, Oh, it's so it's amazing, you know, they could leave their child out there, um, and they can do activities and not always having to supervise all the time. I mean, they'll pop their head out making sure, oh, yeah, that's okay. And I thought, oh, wow. So if you are able to do that, go for it. Or if you are able to, you know, depending on where you live, it might be okay. For me, it wasn't okay, honestly. But in the front, I would set up activities for Olivia. We would have a box of chalk on our driveway, some paints, you know, a bucket of water where she could just get in and sit in the water, and yes, it was nice and warm um during you know, nice cool days, it wasn't cold. So she and I get a slide, so I always had something just set up for her, so yes, she could discover things on her own, and this is another awesome thing that I did when I got her. I it's kind of like a dollhouse. I don't know if you call it a dollhouse, but it was a little shed that she could, you know, play inside. I got it from a friend, it was and it was free. It was an outdoor little hut. I mean, I try to get my body in there. Now, let me tell you, I'm five, five foot seven, and I weigh more than a bucket of fried chicken, more than five buckets of fried chickens. I mean, I'm telling you, there's quite a few chickens that I weigh more than a lot of fried chicken. And so getting in and out was a struggle for me. But during the summer, I would buy washable paints, and I would set up a painting, a painting, um, just so she could like a just not a display, but an area where she could paint the the the house. Like you know how you would people paint their houses outside. I would let her paint that house all summer long. I would buy different rollers, different paints, and her friends would come along. They painted it so all year we would she would sweep it out. She did this when she was like at least three to four years old. She would sweep out her house, and then she would paint it, and it had a little like a stove in it. Oh my goodness, it that was awesome because I would just watch her sit up there with my chair. Sometimes I'll paint, but I'll let her design it. Those kind of activities I encourage you if you can find something that is some that's like a oh you can do it, and I'll just let you and I'll just what watch you do that. And what I liked about it was very creative, and then we would go. I mean, and if she painted on the house, it was fine because it was at the back of the house and it's washable paint. So it was fine, and then we had this big like a window, so she would just start painting the window, and then we would have a hot you know a big bucket of water, and so she could wash your paints and everything. We we would have water, and I did that about two or three summers, and that was a wonderful activity because every year we'll be like, Oh, what are you gonna do this year? Are you gonna paint something? What colours are you wanting to choose from? So I would encourage you if you're wanting something to do, if you could find something that they can paint and repaint, and you don't mind honestly, most likely they're gonna paint the this the back of the house, or maybe they're not, or maybe they're gonna paint their hands and they're gonna paint their feet, they're gonna paint the furniture at the back. If you don't mind them doing that, just go for it. Did they paint our does she paint our cats?

unknown: 14:41

I don't think so.

SPEAKER_00: 14:44

But I chose a lot of um activities, also where I could find she could do it on her own. So for example, I would get like I think dinosaur eggs or different types of rocks or toys, and then I would bury them in the dirt at the back, not too far from the house, and then we would go on a treasure hunt. And so I would dig, make sure the hole was deep enough for her that she could do it on her own, and you might have to judge it, like you might child, you'll know your child, say, Oh, I didn't dig it too deep, just enough for her to be curious, and then she's able to find it, and so that was really lovely. And then sometimes after digging up for the toy, she just wanted to keep digging and looking for worms, and every time she was digging for the worms, I was like, Oh, please, please do not throw the worms at me. So I I'm like, she'll pick up the worm, she'll like worm, worm. And I went, Yes, I see that is a worm. But deep down, I was like, Eee, yuck, please do not mama doesn't want to touch it. But I'm like, Yes, that is, and then took took less, and then I would get a worm book, and then uh when we come inside, we'll read about a worm, a worm. But we also uh had friends who were very into like insects and bugs, and we would ask them about it, so it was really neat to uh do some activities like that outside where she could do some on her own, where I wouldn't have to do everything, but I could just sit and watch her have a cup of tea while I'm looking at her, and then continue on the educational learning by involving some of her friends that love that type of topic and things like that, and then we would read about it. So you maybe there's some things that you can do, or maybe you live in an apartment, you're you're listening to this, like I have an apartment inside there's no backyard. Well, what would encourage you? Well, it depends too if you want to make a mess, because I had this recipe where you can make mud, um, it was like flour and cocoa, and you mix it together in type of kind of like a sand um sand kind of texture, and then you can get your animals, but you lay it in a you know, a tray or somewhere where hopefully your child is not gonna pick it up and throw it everywhere, but you lay it on a table or in a large area and put something down, make sure, and then you can have your child, you know, play with it, you and just make animal prints on this mud, and if you wanted to make it a little bit more wet, you put like water in it. So there's some things you could do inside, or if you say no, I had some friends who like I don't want anything to do like that, then honestly, I would recommend it's hard because when I am when I was doing activities with Olivia, I use a lot of all my senses, like all her senses, and I would make sure it was something that she could touch, smell, and if she was gonna taste it, depending on the age, I had to make sure it was something she could eat. Like painting, for example, when she was a toddler, I wanted to start early of you know, exploring with different colors and textures, and I could not find on the market um paint that was safe enough. So I used, I went on Google and I think you know, some mom blogs they recommended, which worked fine was you know, plain yogurt, and you can just add in your own color different dyes or foods or different other flavors of yogurt, just something to give it a different color. So I didn't mind because Olivia was not allergic to any of the that type of stuff, and I've just let her paint on it, you know, using her hands on paper of yogurt, and she could just eat it if she wanted to, but that was like that. But as she got older, maybe like three, two or three, um, maybe she was three. I had uh own painting, a paint, what do you call those paint stands? I forgot the name of it, where easel, a paint easel, and I would put that in the kitchen, and then I would get watercolor, um, a watercolor uh paint, like blocks, and you had to get water. So I would put a paper on there and water, and she would have to brush on that kind of like a water chalk, and then paint on the water easel. My kitchen, it you know, I didn't have carpet in my kitchen, so it was fine if she made a mess and I had towels. I mean, to other people that like I have some friends and that would be too overwhelming for them. But for me and Olivia, I wanted her to have the opportunity to to paint on an easel. So I picked activities that she could uh just discover holding a paintbrush, and also I used scissors. I got some children's scissors, so she at a very young age where I knew she was able to hold scissors. Um, so by the time she went to preschool, she already knew how to paint, write her name, you know, meaning oh, you know, was it perfect? No, but enough where she could because she had been already doing that a lot earlier. I just wanted her to have different experiences. And then um one thing I noticed with all these activities, I always like for example, her grandmother loves and is very good at baking. So she goes, she would always go to grandma's like maybe a few times a month, and they would make brownies, you know, they would bake things together, which is good because grandma would teach her like measurements and ingredients, and you know, she would read the to Olivia like the recipe, and so it was very good, a lot of hands-on for Olivia. And if you are able, you might have a friend or neighbor or someone who loves to do those kind of things. I would ask them if that's something they would like to, you know, teach your child, or maybe have a friend over. You might have a friend and they love to bake. Like, hey, can I come over your house and would you mind? Do you want my child? Maybe they don't mind, like, oh yeah, I don't mind once a month. I don't know. You don't know until you ask. Now, if you know your friend loves to bake, but they don't want to bake with anyone, I wouldn't ask. I would ask people who you know that would love to share that type of experience with your child, and it could be different, it could be like bird watching. You could be listening to this and like, well, I do have a friend or someone I know who likes to watch birds. Maybe they love to talk about it all the time. You know, you could ask them, do you want to teach bird watching to my child? I could get a coloring book, or I can pick pick a picture, printer a picture, or even draw a picture. If you don't have a printer, you can even draw a picture of a bird that may resemble to what they're looking for and put it on the piece of paper, and then they could talk to your child with the different colors. You don't have to make it complicated, you're gonna suit it to the age of your child. So, for example, if you would have crayons or markers, and you're telling your friend, just tell them what type of colours, what colors of the bird that they're looking for, and you can tell them they can draw it or something and color it in, or what the bird likes to eat. So there's different types of things that um just helps you, so you're it just gives you time to not have to do everything, and maybe you're listening again, like no, I like to do everything. Well, that is great, but the rest of you like uh I really would like other people, or maybe I just like to have a break a little bit, and that's okay, you know. Um, it is all right. Now, at this stage, Olivia is able to do things on her own. Woo wee! And does she ask me to play with her still? Yes, she does. Now, my attitude is do I always go like yay? You probably ask her, she'll probably say, Mom, you want to sleep more. I do want to sleep, and it's okay. So if you're listening to this, it does get better, it just looks different. Uh, do I play with her in the way that she's wanting to? She's all about horses now, so it's a bit different. We don't play with dolls as much. And I remember doing all the voices. Oh yay, Mamma Mia, I tell you what, she would have one doll, and I'll have like five and six horses and ten dogs, or and I have to do all the voices, and maybe you're at that stage now, it does get better. And and then maybe you might have a tablet like I do for Living, and you know, you use that, and that is okay too. It's whatever's going to work for you and your child because you are the best mama for your child, you're doing the best you can with the time that's given. You truly are. You are there, you are working, either working full-time or you're working part-time, or you're stay-at-home full-time mom. You are loving your child the best as you can do with the time you're given, and you are wonderful, you know, you're there for your husband. I mean, you are a cheerleader, and you're taking care of yourself. I don't know if you're sleeping, I don't know if you got enough sleep tonight, but I'm just telling you, you are amazing, and you are a wonderful mom, you truly are. Be kind because you give so much love to everyone, and I wanted to remind you to give love to yourself, you know, give love to your soul, give love to your body, just continue to say those kind words. You are you are amazing, and the community are so blessed to have you, they truly are. So, I wanted to say thank you for listening, and I hope this podcast, the family of one, has helped you giving you some ideas. And if you're in that toddler stage, I hope you got some ideas, and as you are, you know, child who's growing up into this I don't know what's called, as they're getting older, it does get better. Where they can now put their own winter gloves on, they uh they can do it with encouragement and love. Thank you for listening. This is for your friend. I will catch you in the next episode. Bye.